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Scott Benner 0:12
Hello, everyone and welcome to Episode 402 of the Juicebox Podcast. Today's show is called throwing darts with Jennifer. And it's going to cover a number of different topics surrounding type one diabetes. Please remember while you're listening that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise please always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. Becoming bold with insulin, or listening to a podcast where a grown woman tells you about the time her doctor threw a needle ladder.

Oh, that's right. Jennifer's got a number of good stories about growing up, living with being married with and trying to build a family with Type One Diabetes.

This show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries g Vogue hype open. Find out more at GE Vogue glucagon.com forward slash juice box. The episode is also sponsored by the Contour Next One blood glucose meter. You can find out more at Contour Next one.com Ford slash juice box. And please don't forget to check out T one d exchange.org. forward slash juice box to see if the data they need from you is something you're willing to share. Because if it is, it's going to lead to great advancements for people with type one diabetes. Check them out T one d exchange.org. forward slash juicebox.

Jennifer Rainey 2:13
Hi, my name is Jennifer Rainey. Um,

yeah, that's it.

Do I need to introduce myself? Like what I do or

Scott Benner 2:21
no, let's just thank the sponsors and then this thing. Perfect Big thanks to Omni pod Dexcom and Dexcom

Jennifer Rainey 2:27
I'm wearing both of those devices. So way to go Omnipod and Dexcom for keeping me alive. I

appreciate it.

Scott Benner 2:33
Jennifer Do you happen to know what link they could use to check out the product? Oh,

Jennifer Rainey 2:38
it's like backslash juice box to get a free trial demo that you can wear that. It doesn't Yeah, there's no insulin in it. You just try it out. See if you like it stuck to your body. You can go shower, jump into pool.

Scott Benner 2:53
Alright Jennifer, stop.

Jennifer Rainey 2:55
I'm doing your job for you.

Scott Benner 2:56
No, no, I just it was funny. Because you like Is that it? I'm like, Yeah, sure. That's it. Jennifer was here. Yes, diabetes, and it's Yeah,

Jennifer Rainey 3:04
she's still alive. Should

Scott Benner 3:05
I start doing three minute episodes where people just say, Hey, my name is Jennifer. I have type one diabetes. And then it's over? Yes. Anyway. No, you don't have to tell me. I mean, I would assume everything's going to come out while we're talking. so sure. You don't have to you know, if you tell everybody everything about yourself. There'd be really no reason to listen to the conversation. Be like that Jennifer laid everything out in 30 seconds. That was done.

Jennifer Rainey 3:31
Yep. Oh, wait, I'm a fast talker, too. So it really is everything out in 30 seconds.

Scott Benner 3:35
Oh, everyone's gonna be thrilled you and I speed talking to this episode. Yeah, that's okay. Uh, let's, let's start here. You're single married?

Jennifer Rainey 3:45
I am married. I am married. We've been married for Oh, I'm bad at dates. He's great at dates. Um, since 2011. What? Wait, no, sorry. 2013. Wait, hold on to 612 16 There you go. Since whenever that was, so everybody's

Scott Benner 4:03
like, you know, understands now that anything you may say is, you know, it's about right. Yes. I'm sure your husband's gonna be thrilled later to find out that you missed your wedding year by two years. That's fascinating.

Unknown Speaker 4:17
Yes.

Scott Benner 4:18
What what happened in 2013? That made you think of that?

Jennifer Rainey 4:22
That's what I have my side.

Scott Benner 4:23
Okay. All right. So you got married in 2011?

Jennifer Rainey 4:27
and 2016.

Scott Benner 4:28
Sorry, wait. 16 start over. You know, your name. Jennifer. Right.

Jennifer Rainey 4:32
My name is Jennifer.

Unknown Speaker 4:33
Real quick. I am you definitely have diabetes.

Jennifer Rainey 4:36
I I do have. I have had that for 27 years. I

Scott Benner 4:40
know that. That you know, all right. Yes. 27 years. Watch this. It's 2020. You got diagnosed in 1993.

Jennifer Rainey 4:48
I did. Right before my sixth birthday.

Scott Benner 4:52
Yes. Congratulations. Six years old. 27 years. Let's think about that. That's just needles right? Little needles in a vial of insulin,

Jennifer Rainey 5:01
a big needles and two vials of insulin regular and link Tay.

Scott Benner 5:05
Oh, you were doing that.

Jennifer Rainey 5:07
I was doing that it was in 90 carb meals force force fed 90 carb meals.

Scott Benner 5:12
Wait 90 carbs in the six year old.

Jennifer Rainey 5:16
It started at 45. But then it went up to 90 because I wasn't growing.

Scott Benner 5:19
Ah, did you ever grow? Are you like four feet tall?

Jennifer Rainey 5:22
I'm still little. No, I've grown to a normal ish human size. I

think so

Scott Benner 5:27
good for you. Yes. Was that hard to eat that much food when you were a little Do you remember?

Jennifer Rainey 5:32
I do I it was very hard. And so a lot of it ended up just being like juice boxes and things like that to get my carbs up and to get fruit in. Because it was basically like, Here eat this pasta or the cereal and just chug the rest in juice, pasta, cereal

Scott Benner 5:48
and juice. Yeah. Part of the countries you grew up in

Unknown Speaker 5:52
Texas.

Scott Benner 5:56
I'm not saying I know anything. I really am not.

Jennifer Rainey 5:59
We had a lot of you know, actually, we had a lot of oatmeal growing up and grits and cream of wheat, things like that, that were very carb heavy to make sure I got my carbs in.

Scott Benner 6:10
Do you have any feeling for what your a one C was back then?

Jennifer Rainey 6:14
Oh goodness, it was it was never below 10 until I was probably 12 or 13?

Scott Benner 6:20
I wouldn't think so. Not with ya. Not with that old timey insulin and a bucket of oats.

Jennifer Rainey 6:27
Right, right. And even the testers were old timey it took 55 seconds I think on my first tester, my first glucometer to read my blood sugar.

Scott Benner 6:35
Yeah, well, you know all the numbers except when you got married. That's pretty interesting.

Jennifer Rainey 6:39
And that's what I have a reminders in my calendar. It gives me a two week reminder. And then a two day reminder. That's my like Amazon reminder. So I can order something really quickly.

Scott Benner 6:47
If you didn't do that. strong possibility your anniversary just roll by and you wouldn't notice.

Jennifer Rainey 6:53
Absolutely, absolutely, like 100% possibility,

Unknown Speaker 6:56
but you like the guy. Oh, I love him.

Jennifer Rainey 6:58
He's the best because the best human I've ever met.

Scott Benner 7:01
I just I'm saying I think it's like every once in a while on my anniversary. I'll bring something to my wife and she'll be like, Hey, I forgot to get a card. And I feel like that means Hey, I forgot it was sure.

Jennifer Rainey 7:14
Well, the good thing is I don't forget to love him. So I might forget the dates, but I try really hard to love him.

Scott Benner 7:21
That's a lovely, good for you. I want to go back in time again to these two old insulins and you basically being fed like a turkey. We're trying to get ready for Thanksgiving.

Jennifer Rainey 7:34
Like funneling food into me.

Scott Benner 7:35
Yeah. What What is it? Was that a Bugs Bunny? You're too young. Are you too young to remember? There was a turkey and they had to fatten up? Was it Daffy Duck?

Jennifer Rainey 7:45
I vaguely remember it, you know, like reruns? Yes.

Scott Benner 7:48
All right. I mean, that we'll figure out later because that doesn't feel important to your story, but it just popped into my mind. Uh, you don't think that you're a once he was under 10 for the first six years that you had diabetes? Do you know what changed, and how it started to come down,

Jennifer Rainey 8:05
um, technology, better insulins. Um, I finally started seeing a pediatric endocrinologist.

Scott Benner 8:13
And we're using that before what was happening.

Jennifer Rainey 8:16
I was I was seeing he was ancient. He was actually very traumatizing. I have needle phobia because this first doctor I saw, literally threw a needle at me from a syringe at me from across the room because he wanted to show me that it's not scary. And I was wearing. I was wearing shorts that day. And so it just kind of stuck into my thigh and flopped around for a little bit. As he's talking.

Scott Benner 8:37
You have to say, Wait, Holy Christ. When you were six years old, a man threw a syringe at you like a dart to say to you look, this isn't scary.

Jennifer Rainey 8:48
Absolutely. And I've looked him up. He's still alive. He's still alive. He's not practicing anymore. But he is still alive. syringe, Adam.

Unknown Speaker 8:56
Well, I mean, he's probably just the bar hustling darts. Don't you think?

Jennifer Rainey 9:01
I don't know if he's hustling anymore. He's probably 90.

Scott Benner 9:05
Wow, that's insane.

Jennifer Rainey 9:07
It was very traumatizing. My dad was diabetic and my grandpa was diabetic. So I, I just went to my dad's doctor because I didn't get hospitalized them at all. pediatric. Didn't go to Children's Hospital, anything like that. They just said, Oh, you're diabetic and your family knows what to do. So go to his doctor.

Scott Benner 9:26
Wow, that I don't really know what to say about that. I know. You're not misremembering that or you have a childhood trauma that you've replaced with this memory. That really happened to you.

Jennifer Rainey 9:38
I mean, it's definitely childhood trauma, but I've done the therapy to work through

Scott Benner 9:42
it. Did he do anything? I mean, what are the other things he did that were sketchy that you recall?

Jennifer Rainey 9:49
I you know, that's the only thing that I remember. I just remember he was very grumpy and very, not kind. We did. We checked my blood sugar. Good goodness. All the time. My parents actually found an old blog from when I was really young, when they were downsizing their house. And so I kept that just as a oh my gosh, I stayed alive through that because I would have blood sugar's that were like 27. And then the next one is 400. And the next one was 30. And they just that and that was that seemed okay. Right? At least with this guy who thinks it's okay to chuck a needle in a kid. But sure, there was no like, you didn't go in there being told, like, well, you're really doing a bad job at this. No, no, he was not he was not a very kind endocrinologist. He told me I would never have kids. And that more than likely most diabetics die by the time they're 30 if they're diagnosed as young as me,

Scott Benner 10:41
wow, it was true. So he was treating it. Like a dog. He found the side of the street that he didn't love but didn't just like I'll feed it and leave it. Just let it roam in the yard. So die anyway. It's gonna die. Doesn't really matter. Yep. Oh, wow, that is terrible. I'm

Jennifer Rainey 10:58
so out to pasture. So so that's good.

Scott Benner 11:01
I'm really very sorry. That's not that's not a thing that should happen to anybody. Did you have that growing up that feeling like my life is fine, very finite. And I'm not going to make it as long as other people are, was your father was alive. So that must have given you some hope?

Jennifer Rainey 11:18
I did have that. So my I, I definitely struggled with that for Gosh, my teenagers, probably my dad passed away, actually, when I was 13. And my grandpa passed away when I was younger, both from diabetic complications. So it was a glaring, obvious signal in front of me that life could end because of diabetes at any moment. Both of them had serious complications.

Scott Benner 11:45
What this doctor said to you then, it felt like it was it was actually happening to the people around you.

Jennifer Rainey 11:51
Absolutely.

Scott Benner 11:52
How do you know how old your father was when he passed?

Jennifer Rainey 11:55
He was 49. And my grandfather was not far away from that either.

Scott Benner 12:01
Did you now going into your teen years? Did you live like you weren't going to make it?

Jennifer Rainey 12:09
I definitely was wild and reckless in all of the bad ways. Because why did it matter?

Scott Benner 12:18
Can you tell me how wild Are you afraid one day your children will grow up in here? This What? Oh, no. Like, what are you doing heroin while you were driving 120 miles an hour? Like what was it? Exactly?

Jennifer Rainey 12:28
Not quite heroin, so I was maybe a little a little less wild than that. But definitely drinking didn't. And I I don't know if I drink and drive. But I definitely drove drunk myself senseless quite a few times.

Scott Benner 12:41
Just because it felt like why I mean, I guess why not? Right?

Jennifer Rainey 12:45
Why not? I mean, it's, I don't care if my liver goes out because pancreas is always already tapped Anyway,

Scott Benner 12:51
I'll be dead anyway. It won't matter. Well, you have an upbeat story, don't you, Jennifer? Okay. Uh, oh, it's hard. By the way. I've been googling Daffy Duck and turkeys and I have no definitive answer. So we're gonna skip it.

Jennifer Rainey 13:02
Oh, there was an animal that was that was funnel fed.

Scott Benner 13:06
Right? Which also seems mean, but not as mean as what happened to you know, getting through high school and becoming, you know, like a young adult. Did you go to college or what you do after high school?

Jennifer Rainey 13:20
Yes. So, in high school actually was, I started seeing a pediatrician, pediatric endocrinologist who maybe like 12 1314 and finally got an insulin pump. So that was kind of life changing for me. I had like, what was it the original mini med med truck? I think it was just mini med back then that had like a swinging door on it. A hinge door that you put the insulin inside like a

Scott Benner 13:50
cassette player kind of a feeling?

Jennifer Rainey 13:52
Yes, yes. Very similar in it. I played soccer. So if you if you ran with it, sometimes this hinged door would fly open and then the insulin would go flying out to it was very interesting. Technology has come a long way.

Unknown Speaker 14:11
Life was such a good show, but it's better now. So that's good. It was like

Jennifer Rainey 14:16
it was a fun like it was fun and wild and I feel like my life is so boring now because it just doesn't have all of these wild adventures.

Scott Benner 14:25
Do you wish you're on the pod but just flip open like some of the circuit board would come flying out or something like that? Just remember this the good old days?

Jennifer Rainey 14:33
Yes, like if the batteries just shot out or something every now and then that'd be kind of nice. Well, listen,

Scott Benner 14:37
we're not near each other. But when the travel bans and all get lifted, I have plenty I could come throw some syringes at you if you think it would bring back good feeling. No,

Jennifer Rainey 14:45
you know, I'm good without that actually, I think I still struggle with needle phobia. I don't know what the technical term is for that. But I definitely appreciate Omni pod that it just shoots in with the click of a button. I loop so it's on my phone. But it's so nice to not have to do it myself. I just stick it on there and then I'm committed.

Scott Benner 15:09
Well, I agree but this was not about on the pot. This is just about me joking about the thing coming open anything.

Jennifer Rainey 15:15
What do you need yours? Got a pump? Yeah, went to college. I took better care of myself. I had a Wednesday's typically in the seven, eight nines would get grabbed out if it was eight, nine and then bring it back down to a seven again. And then went to college did did right, got chewed out by my adult endocrinologist because I always complained about the price of any fluid. And he said, Well, you have purple and pea care. So I think you're spending quite a bit of money on that, too.

Scott Benner 15:50
That you said, Wow, insulin is expensive. And he said, what about this hair dye situation? All the money you're sinking into it? Yes. Did you say, hey, my hair might be purple and pink. But there's a really good reason for that. I grew up with an endocrinologist telling me I was going to drop that then my dad and my grandfather drop it and the guy threw needles at me. And then my pump flew open and my stuff ran across the soccer field. So you're lucky All I did was dye my hair.

Jennifer Rainey 16:15
Like I get my blood sugar in five seconds. Now I've shaved 50 seconds off of that just by staying alive.

Scott Benner 16:21
Alright, okay, listen. When did your life become decent?

Jennifer Rainey 16:29
Now, it's just I invite the crazy end. So instead of my life being crazy, I invite the crazy and, um, I let me see I got married to a not so kind person, had a kid got a divorce. And then a few years back, I met my husband. And our life is pretty boring now.

Scott Benner 16:52
That's good. Thanks, good. Boys. Good. It's

Jennifer Rainey 16:54
predictable. It's easy for diabetes. For sure. It's

Scott Benner 16:57
nice to keep your blood sugar when you don't you when you know dinners at 630 every night, it's very much easier to handle yourself.

Jennifer Rainey 17:03
Absolutely. Dan, he cooks everything for me.

Unknown Speaker 17:06
Does he really?

Jennifer Rainey 17:08
He really does. And he's a phenomenal chef. And he leaves the carb counts out on the counter. If he's using like a new product or pasta or something like that.

Scott Benner 17:19
It's lovely. That do you choose? You don't have children together? Is that really

Jennifer Rainey 17:24
not? We are foster parents. So we have my biological son, his stepson. But he's been in his life since he was nine months old. And then we foster different kiddos. We've been doing that for about a year and a half, almost two years now.

Scott Benner 17:44
Right. Now, is this when we tell people we've met each other? Sure. Oh, yes. Jennifer, I met when I was in Dallas speaking Is that right? Yes. Yes. And I very briefly met your foster son. How's he doing?

Jennifer Rainey 17:59
He is about to go home actually this week. Really? Yes, he is. Done big huge changes a once he was like above 14 and is now I believe ran out 6.9 to seven. That's he's wearing a dex calm now, which is super cool. He was anti anything that looked like he could have, you know, diabetes, and now he's wearing Dexcom and proud of it and taking selfies with the shirt off with the Dexcom showing

Scott Benner 18:25
good for him when we met that day. How long had he been with you?

Jennifer Rainey 18:29
Three days, that was a really bad decision on

my part,

Scott Benner 18:32
bringing him to that event. He looks very unhappy in case you're wondering.

Jennifer Rainey 18:36
Very, very, very unhappy with me.

Scott Benner 18:38
Yeah. She's like, Hi, this is it. I'm start talking about this kid doesn't care at all about this conversation.

Jennifer Rainey 18:45
No, no, no, no. He's come a long way and has met some diabetic friends now too. And just living with somebody else I think has helped him see. See how to better care for himself.

Scott Benner 18:55
How long was he with you and or Willie have been with you? almost three months. And so was he with you? Because of his his a one C and his care?

Jennifer Rainey 19:07
Yes. Okay. Yes. Yes, he was not being super honest with his taking care of his medicine or just not taking insulin and saying that he was and it resulted in for decades and six months.

Scott Benner 19:23
Now, does he go back to his parents?

Jennifer Rainey 19:25
Yes, yes. And I work with them and talk with them often. And we're part of their support system. And we just got him like an apple watch so that he can sees Dexcom on his phone or on his watch and they follow his Dexcom from home and then we follow it and they we've been asked to continue to follow it just to to help with that accountability.

Scott Benner 19:48
Well, you're a lovely person. That's really that's really nice. Maybe throwing a dozen people makes them nice.

Jennifer Rainey 19:55
I try I try to like, you know, take all the bad crap and then turn it into, like I'm just gonna be nice. For people,

Scott Benner 20:01
what's really amazing, I mean, honestly, to take the time, and the effort, I'm assuming the cost to just take a person you don't know and change their life like that. It's, that's really wonderful. That's a gift that, you know, he'll keep forever and you know, won't be running around with incredibly high one season. Not by the way, he's not the first kid that I've met at one of those events where, you know, DK seems to be the level of care, right? Just ignore, ignore, ignore DK go to the hospital start over again. You know, by the fifth time I heard that story from people, I thought, wow, I'm not going to stop hearing those stories. When I come to these things. Get it? You know, like, this is really what happens to a lot of folks. So

Jennifer Rainey 20:42
yeah, in a No, I've told him and I've shared my story with his parents and with others and different support groups that I was not far away from that as a teen. I had an insulin pump. So it gave me background insulin, and I would eat a honeybun Actually, my, my lunch was typically like a package of Reese's, and maybe some chips or something like that. And I would sometimes take medicine for it, and sometimes not. So it's just kind of what it was. Or I would remember, you know, two hours later, Oh, I should have taken medicine for that and just get myself a unit or two to see what happens. What

Scott Benner 21:17
do you think causes that? Is it just expectation that this is what it is? Like? Ah,

Jennifer Rainey 21:24
I think it's a lot of it. It's a defiance, obviously, your team, and it seems to typically happen in that like 15 to 25 year range. I think it's feeling that invincibility also that teens typically have. And then also the awkwardness of not wanting to stand out not wanting to be different. So you just kind of hide it. And then burnout and distress and parents jumping all over you. I was just talking with a parent. Yesterday, actually, I'm going to talk with his daughter this afternoon. But just when it going in from a place where we're not judging. You know, if you didn't test your blood sugar in a month, Okay, how about we just test it once today, and maybe once tomorrow, but it's just trying to start something little just noticeable difference instead of, you know, chewing somebody out because they haven't just checked their blood sugar in a month?

Scott Benner 22:22
Do you think that people get that way? Because it gets to that point, because that's how it starts. And then it becomes normal? Do you feel like a person in that scenario? If you were with them back at the very beginning? Wouldn't have the same feelings about testing? Or do you think they like? What's your opinion about that? Is it? Is it a learned behavior? Or is it just gonna happen to some people?

Jennifer Rainey 22:48
I think it like waxes and wanes. I think even now, as an adult, I'm 33. And I still go through phases of diabetes, distress and frustration and not wanting to do anything. I just have a little bit more, I don't know, grit in the game now and want to stay alive for as long as possible, where I really didn't care when I was 15 or 20.

Scott Benner 23:12
Well, that's lovely. It's nice to hear somebody say I have a reason to be alive. I mean, honestly, it's just, you know, that in the end, that's really sort of what we're all doing. You know, if you've never reason to be alive, they're, you know, working socks, and I mean, the Coronavirus just taught us all that now that we're home, you know, aside of the money, you're just like, wow, way better.

Jennifer Rainey 23:32
Yeah. My dad, I mean, I hate to say it, but he was a great example of what not to do. He didn't care for himself when he was younger and had horrible complications. When he was older. He had his, his blind, legally blind in his 30s had a leg amputated was about to have another one was on dialysis, all of those things that are, you know, scary and threats that other diabetics don't like to hear. And I'm like, yeah, that's, I think it's real life. And to me, it's not. It's not a horrible threat. I think it's a very real possibility. And it's a great example for me of what not to do.

Scott Benner 24:06
And his father was in a similar situation.

Jennifer Rainey 24:09
The other one was my my mom's father. Oh, yes.

Scott Benner 24:13
mother's father had type one. Your father? Yes. You are definitely getting diabetes.

Jennifer Rainey 24:17
Yes. That's what he said. I had like the double whammy.

Scott Benner 24:20
Yeah. Oh, I see.

Jennifer Rainey 24:21
So you have a brother. That's also type one. And I had a sister who had gestational, and then another brother who has type two.

Scott Benner 24:30
So everybody's getting diabetes.

Unknown Speaker 24:31
There's everybody in here.

Scott Benner 24:32
Yeah. It's like a family tradition.

Jennifer Rainey 24:34
Yeah, it's fine. actually really test your blood sugars or screenshot really bad things, bad blood sugars and high blood sugars and send them to each other. I was

Scott Benner 24:42
gonna say, Do you and your siblings have some sort of a support system together around diabetes?

Jennifer Rainey 24:48
Not really, I think I have a better support system with my friends and that I've met with diabetics or that are diabetics. But I do wish I had No more from my family members. My sister is a nurse though. So that's really helpful. She has kind of saved me and broken into my apartment when I was younger and took me to the hospital a couple of weeks. So she just gets that she knows that

Unknown Speaker 25:14
your life is a movie.

Jennifer Rainey 25:17
You know, she thought I was drunk. But I wasn't drunk. I was just low blood sugar. I had been asleep for like, I don't know, 20 hours. And she thought I was just drunk and was ignoring her. So she came over and really, I was just low and belligerent. So,

Unknown Speaker 25:30
okay,

Jennifer Rainey 25:32
was fun. And embarrassing. embarrassing. Apparently, apparently, I sounded like a drunk. That's the thing is like, I was yelling and like saying very inappropriate comments. And she was like, all right, you are not going to drink this juice. So we're gonna go to the hospital and they gave me some glucose through an IV and I was better and completely embarrassed.

Scott Benner 25:52
Okay, did you like us? Like, say things like the Cowboys don't suck, because that's the thing. A person who's not making

Jennifer Rainey 25:58
sense would say, I would never say that would never say even drunken delirious.

Scott Benner 26:08
Okay, now, the reason you're on the show is Yeah, not any of that. But how do we ignore all of that? I can't just bring you on and be like, hey, there's a topic here. Because Sure, then we wouldn't have found out how absolutely crazy your life. It's wonderful of you to share. Okay, so you, I think originally reached out after hearing Samantha's she's having a baby episodes. Yes. Okay.

Jennifer Rainey 26:38
So I heard her first one where she talked about her, I guess it was a miscarriage, and then diagnosis all at the same time.

Scott Benner 26:47
And then you were like, hey, I've had problems like that, too. I'd be willing to share. That's like, great. I get the most upbeat notes here at the at the podcast headquarters, which by the way, is a desk where I yeah. But so you've obviously had a child with your, with your, your first marriage that went okay.

Jennifer Rainey 27:10
Yes, well, we're alive. So that's okay. To me. I had what was called help syndrome. So through the whole pregnancy, and my agency was, it was broken, I was under six, the entire time, like 5.4 5.5 5.7, most of the time, I found out I was pregnant, unexpectedly, and kind of just stuck to it. I'm on management and control. And that was doing excellent. I had my baby shower. And then the next day, I was 34 weeks, and the next day I passed out at work.

Scott Benner 27:54
Well, if you didn't see an ad coming when someone said they were really pregnant, and past that at work, you haven't been listening to this podcast for very long. I love a cliffhanger. Here's something you won't have to wonder about. If I go to Contour Next one.com forward slash juice box. Am I getting a gold standard in the industry for blood glucose meters? And the answer there is simply Yes, the Contour Next One blood glucose meter is simply the best, most accurate and easy to use blood glucose meter that I've ever used for my daughter. And it's much simpler for her to carry and use than anything else she's ever tried. Contour Next One comm forward slash juice box, there's a lot going on there. You may be eligible for a free meter, you have to check to see there's tester program that could help you get more affordable test strips, there's links to their apps that link to the meter for Android and iPhone. There's everything that you need. And I find this to be a simple thing to do. Because we get blood glucose meters a year ago, two years ago, three years ago, five years ago, 10 years ago, we just get used to them. But the truth is you don't have to live with your old Genki meter that may or may not be accurate. Doesn't have to be like that. Because the Contour Next One is next level accurate and very inexpensive. As a matter of fact, it could be cheaper to buy cash than it would even be through your insurance. That's how inexpensive it is. But whether you get it through your insurance or out of pocket, what you want is an easy to use brightly lit easy to read meter that gives you great results and by great I mean accurate and by results I mean your blood sugar and the Contour Next One will even allow Second Chance testing meaning if you go in with a test trip get some blood but not enough you can go back and get more without ruining the test trip. Contour Next One calm for its slash juice box. I just need to tell you one last thing. g Volk hypo pen has no visible needle, and it's the first premixed auto injector of glucagon for very low blood sugar in adults and kids with diabetes ages two and above. Not only is Jeeva hypo pen simple to administer, but it's simple to learn more about, all you have to do is go to G Vogue glucagon.com forward slash juicebox. g Vogue shouldn't be used in patients with insulinoma or pheochromocytoma. Visit g Vogue glucagon.com slash brisk last thing, don't forget to check out T one d exchange.org. forward slash juicebox. There are links in the show notes of your podcast player and at Juicebox podcast.com. If I haven't said them so many times that they're stuck in your head. Alright, back to Jennifer story. Remember, she's 34 weeks pregnant, she's at work and she just passed out

Jennifer Rainey 31:09
which was a little strange. And then I started getting really queasy. And when I came to I was not feeling so well. So my boss actually called my mom to come pick me up because she was my emergency contact. And I ended up in the hospital on a Monday and then had my son that Thursday because I had what's called help syndrome. So it's a kind of severe low platelets, elevated liver enzymes, some of my body my organs started to shut down. And basically it was all because the baby inside me needed to come out that was the only way to to make it better

Scott Benner 31:52
help he LLP syndrome.

Jennifer Rainey 31:54
H e. l

Scott Benner 31:58
have high blood pressure during pregnancy. his liver enzymes low platelet count syndrome usually develops before the 37th week of pregnancy but can occur shortly after delivery. Many women are diagnosed with preeclampsia beforehand. Symptoms include nausea, headache, belly pain, swelling, treatment usually requires the delivery of the baby. Very rare. Ooh,

Jennifer Rainey 32:21
it was a fun rare thing. They didn't think I had it because I didn't have that high blood pressure, my blood pressure through my entire pregnancy was actually really, really low. And so it was always like, what is 80s over 50s aids over 60 sometimes 70 over 50s. And so when I went to the hospital, they didn't think I had it because my blood pressure then was like 100 over 17. And then it got up to 120 over 18 you have to

Scott Benner 32:55
know that when you Google it, it comes up as very rare 20,000 cases a year, which then made me Google type one diabetes, which is rare, saying fewer than 200,000 cases a year. Have Yes. Has anything ever good happen. Where the odds weren't in your favor, like like a lottery or do you ever win a bingo or anything?

Jennifer Rainey 33:17
Not really winning? Um, I like to like see that like staying alive is like really good thing.

Scott Benner 33:24
Oh, yeah, that's a good one. Do you have any other diseases that we haven't spoken about yet?

Jennifer Rainey 33:28
Um, I do have pcls, which is polycystic ovarian syndrome. It kind of comes hand in hand sometimes with with diabetes. Well, that's

Scott Benner 33:37
common, at least Good for you.

Unknown Speaker 33:39
Yes. Yes.

Scott Benner 33:41
Although essentially says common more than 200,000 cases a year. How can come and be more than 200,000? All right, nevermind. We're

Jennifer Rainey 33:48
just running around all over the place with little cystic ovaries.

Scott Benner 33:54
Oh, wait a minute. polycystic ovary syndrome is a hormonal disorder common among young women reproductive age may have infrequent or prolonged menstruation periods or excessive hormone levels. The ovaries may develop numerous small collections of fluid and fail to regularly release eggs. does that have anything to do with the reason you're on the show? Or no?

Jennifer Rainey 34:16
it? It does not. So what well, maybe a little bit. We tried for a while and just nothing was happening. Um, we decided go see a doctor and see what we can figure out. Ah, so

Scott Benner 34:32
you and your current husband, which doesn't? I don't like the way that sounds it makes it feel like you're 17 husbands and like, like a guy you've landed on today, Jennifer, which is not what I'm saying. But you and you're

Unknown Speaker 34:45
stuck around

Scott Benner 34:46
a guy who was like, Alright, whatever she lets me cook. I enjoy it. So.

Unknown Speaker 34:51
Yes, yes.

Scott Benner 34:52
But But how long ago did you and your husband tried to have a baby. Um,

Jennifer Rainey 34:57
so we have been fostering for quite a while. And it's it's kind of been one of those things that we came into marriage, knowing or discussing that having children was not going to be an option for us because I, my first son, I had so many complications and had the help syndrome. I ended up having to have platelets and blood transfusions to stay alive and was in a coma for a little bit after my son was born. So that was just a really bad experience. It was like all of the things that moms dream about. It's the opposite of those.

Scott Benner 35:30
You don't have a photo of you with a car carrier outside the front door when you got home or anything like that. No, I

Jennifer Rainey 35:36
was super jaundiced, and yellow and gross. I actually hate all of our likes first photos together because I look like a yellow blob. And the first time I saw him, I was FaceTime where, because he was in the queue and I was in ICU. He wouldn't let me leave.

Scott Benner 35:53
How old is he now?

Jennifer Rainey 35:55
He's almost seven. He's six. He's six and three quarters. That's very important age.

Scott Benner 36:00
Oh, yeah, I've heard about that. Okay, all right. So But recently, did you did you try to have a baby or did it just happened where, you know, the winds or something. And then

Jennifer Rainey 36:19
we went to the doctor to get some kind of clearances first, because I didn't want to go into it. completely blind. And I knew that I'm at higher risk for just basically everything because of diabetes. And and so we went to the doctor first to apologize, I'm going to move to a different room so that I'm a little bit further away from the kiddos. We went to the doctor first just to get some, you know, know kind of clarity that everything was going to be okay. And I'm not just immediately walking into a death sentence.

Scott Benner 36:52
Okay. Yeah, well, I mean, a lot went wrong. So the concern really has to be that your life could be in danger again, I imagine, right?

Jennifer Rainey 37:00
Yes, yes. And my family takes it very, very seriously. Even when my husband and I started dating, that was like, a first conversation for them was are you comfortable? Not having a kid of your own? Is that something that that you can be okay with? And and he knew that, you know, from the very beginning. So we just wanted to make sure we were wise with that. Because obviously I wouldn't want to risk my life and, and never get to see existing son ever again.

Scott Benner 37:26
Sure. So Seriously, this is like a first day come like he came to the door. And they're like, Hi, you're here to pick up Jennifer. And they're like, he's like, Yes, I am. It's like, you know, you can't get her pregnant, right?

Jennifer Rainey 37:35
Yep. Yep. Literally, when they when they the day they first met him. That was a conversation on the grill, and he's really stuck around.

Scott Benner 37:45
I was gonna say once that guy calls you back, you got to figure he likes me.

Unknown Speaker 37:49
Yeah, yeah, I

Jennifer Rainey 37:50
was like, I'd done just give me a ring and let's just get married. He's not going anywhere.

Scott Benner 37:55
Yeah, this guy's ID. I definitely know. I mean, honestly, I don't know what I would do in a scenario like that. If somebody is like, Hi, it's nice to meet you. You know, you can't get my daughter pregnant. Right. And I was like, I wasn't planning on doing it today. So I didn't he say no, that's not what I mean. You know? Yes, I just mean ever well, but then did your health just so kind of normalize and your that you thought, well, maybe I'm a different person with diabetes than I was in the past. And I'm going to go for this but you had a great day one see during your pregnancy the first time?

Jennifer Rainey 38:25
Yes, I did have a great day Wednesday during my pregnancy, afterwards, you know, obviously, single mom trying to get life together, my agency maybe went up to like the sevens like seven 475 which is not horrible at all. But it was it was higher for me. And then since my husband and I have had our, our sweet and normal, boring life. It's been in the sixes almost consistently, probably for, I don't know, the past five years. And we've just between like 5.6 and six for the past for a long while, and I just figured I'm more healthy than I've ever been. I also work out consistently now. Which I do it because it keeps my cholesterol low so I don't have to take cholesterol medicine. And then I don't know we just kind of started talking about it. We had a little kiddo who was with us? Who was just if we had the opportunity to adopt him we would have immediately he's just a fun kiddo. And it kind of made us start thinking of like do we do we want to do this? Do we want to change our course from fostering only and supporting reunification to to adopting or do we want to give it a try ourselves and we decided to give it a try ourselves because I didn't want to change our our motive on fostering and supporting families.

Scott Benner 39:53
Right. Okay, so you were considering even if we have a baby of our own we're gonna continue to do that. The foster

Jennifer Rainey 39:59
Yes, yeah. It's been something I wanted to do since I was a kid.

Scott Benner 40:02
Yeah. Why would imagine you would like to try to help some people who can't get help? Because I feel like you, you were probably a person who was not being helped very much, right?

Jennifer Rainey 40:12
Yeah, it was just yeah, it was just a different life and had some wild and crazy that went on in my life. And and I think, if I can, I don't know, do something good. We have an extra room in our house, why not? fill it up with somebody who needs a safe place to live?

Scott Benner 40:26
That's wonderful. I have a question going backwards a little bit. Yeah, talk for a minute would take a little detour. I'm really, you know, I'm not teasing out what happened to on purpose. I'm just following Association. But what is it like to be a, an adult with type one and taking care of children like so you know, there's plenty of times on here where people talk about what it's like to be the parent taking care of a child, but never really asked an adult type one. Where are the concessions that you make? Big? Because Yeah, assuming time and focus and energy, right, like, how does it

Jennifer Rainey 40:59
great question. Oh, I I like this one, because I think it is something that nobody really talks about? Um, I think, for me, I think I struggle sometimes with guilt. Because my son, who is an awesome kiddo has had to know like, Hey, mom needs a juice box. Or if I'm crying, and I'm super low, or if I'm grumpy, and I'm super low. And I say my blood sugar's low, he knows to just like back off for a little bit, because mom's not our best self. And I kind of hate that, that he has to know that and like, that's, to me, that's embarrassing. And it's something that he has to deal with that nobody else. I mean, there's sure there are other kids with parents who are diabetics, but he doesn't get it because he doesn't have diabetes. He does have low blood sugars, though. So he does get the grumpiness

and things like that?

Scott Benner 41:55
Well, how do you get that? Like, I know people get low when they have diabetes. I'm obviously not saying that. But is there a, it's funny, because you said it was about guilt. And I thought, I thought of what I see my wife go through sometimes, like, for instance, when my kids want to do something with her, but she's working from home, that she needs to get the work done. But I can see her feeling badly about not doing something with them. And I thought, yeah, that's what popped in my head. Like there's a trade off between the amount of time you spend on your diabetes, like how much would you spend on it? If you were single by yourself? And how many times have you let yourself get a little too high or a little too low? or not, you know, Chapter whatever you needed to do, because you were giving your time over to somebody else does that happen? Sure, sure.

Jennifer Rainey 42:39
Um, I would say, I've gotten a lot better at that. Just pausing. pausing to take care of myself. In trying, I've worked really hard through therapy and through just different groups that have been a part of to, to just give myself that time and to not be ashamed or embarrassed or to, you know, to not let it go and go out and not take care of it. But I do know that that means I'm taking time away from other people or even you know, sitting down at a meal, and we're all about to start eating. And then I'm like, Oh, I need a bolus real fast. Oh, my gosh, it stopped the conversation or something like that, or I'm not in the conversation. I'm not paying attention to the conversation, because I'm counting up some carbs real fast. Yeah,

Scott Benner 43:27
no, it's just, you know, I don't think that, uh, oh, no, we probably need to talk to more people who are adults and, you know, have that time poll where there's so many things yakking at them and you know, you're married, you have a son, you're fostering kids, you know, you're talking to that foster kids family and trying to help them be better prepared for him. You have a job? You know, that's a lot of stuff. Yeah,

Jennifer Rainey 43:51
I work in public health, too. So that's been crazy, because I am a communicator in all of this Coronavirus stuff.

Scott Benner 43:58
How can you tell me like high level? What is it you do?

Jennifer Rainey 44:01
Sure, I'm a public information officer for our local health department for our county. So I send out press releases every single day for the new cases, recoveries, deaths, anything pertinent to that in and do used to do all of our social media, but I have a team now of some others that have been kind of rerouted to communication so that they can help and assist with some of our Social Media Communications right now.

Scott Benner 44:27
Wow, that's cool. So this goes out to the public, or do you communicate with other states and counties? Or how does that all work?

Jennifer Rainey 44:35
All of the above. So it goes out to the public through social media, and then I also communicate with our media partners. So I'm kind of the PR media liaison, and then also with IGR. So Intergovernmental Relations, talking to our local cities and towns that are within our county, just to communicate with them about what's going on about any risks associated with their communities. And it makes sure they're in the loop too, because they don't even want As a mayor,

Scott Benner 45:03
how do you how do you get? Do you also get incoming information from your counterparts in other places?

Jennifer Rainey 45:08
Yes, yeah. So a lot of times, I'll get kind of information on the download, hey, we're about to make this change. Or we're about to make this, you know, now that we're all at stay at home orders and things like that. We're about to do this. What do you guys feel about that?

Scott Benner 45:21
Yeah, I would have guessed, especially in this moment, you can't have somebody on one side of a line on a map, say, we're not gonna let people I don't know, drive after 10pm. And then, you know, you say, well, we're not doing that. Because, you know, or, you know, one place can't close a bar in another place doesn't because I'll just drive to the place that doesn't you kind of have to be together on that. I would imagine to make it work, right. Yes. Gotcha. Wow, that's kind of crazy. Okay. So you and your husband, you go to the doctor, you do the work, you've you know, your everything seems good for you to get pregnant. Did you get pregnant on purpose? Or did you go with the like, let's just see what happens method.

Jennifer Rainey 46:01
Sure. So we did goodness, I met with my endocrinologist. Last summer, met with a maternal fetal medicine specialist, who is the same doctor who saw me in the hospital, and had diagnosed me with help syndrome before. So I, I sought her out and went and saw her and just kind of got some guidance in percentages, which was always nerve racking to say, ah, you've got a 30 or a 40, or 50% chances that coming back, she had us meet with a reproductive endocrinologist as well. Just to check on bloodwork to make sure we're not at risk for any What do they call them? fetal abnormalities, I

Scott Benner 46:45
think.

Jennifer Rainey 46:47
And everything was looking good. Other than the risk of health syndrome returning was like a 30 to 40%. She said, you could flip a coin and have it or you could flip a coin and not, but because we were going into it with that awareness. We'd be monitoring, you know, blood pressure every day and probably doing a lot more. What is it? 24 hour urine catches and things like that. to just stay on top of everything,

Scott Benner 47:12
all those fun things?

Jennifer Rainey 47:13
all the fun stuff,

Scott Benner 47:14
right? You decided like it was, was it? I guess I want to know like when the decisions made it feel risky?

Jennifer Rainey 47:22
Oh, absolutely. Yes. It even just thinking about it. Like, do we do this? Do we not? I don't know. We're, we're Christians believe in God. So it was definitely giving it over to some prayer and just asking him to, if it's what he wanted for us to let it happen. And if it's not, then don't kill me.

Scott Benner 47:49
Listen, Jesus, I just want to have a short conversation with you here. I'm gonna leave that do I get pregnant thing up to you. But one way or the other? If I'm doing the wrong thing. Please don't kill me to have a prayer.

Jennifer Rainey 48:02
I don't want to die. But like, shut it down. If it's not what you want.

Scott Benner 48:06
Somebody say something. Just a little wave of a hand. Hey, say that vase fell off the countertop right now. I would take that as a no just yeah. Anyway.

Jennifer Rainey 48:17
Like, I need something like wasn't funny ran across the road. But no, I

Unknown Speaker 48:21
don't know. Anything.

Jennifer Rainey 48:23
I'm, I'm such like a horrible, not a horrible believer. That's a really bad thing. But I'm such a horrible like, I need a glaring, like obvious sign because everything random happens in my life. And I was like, was that God? Or was that just like, Cool?

Unknown Speaker 48:35
I don't know.

Scott Benner 48:38
He'd like a guy in a beard. holding a sign in front of your house just says like,

Jennifer Rainey 48:44
can you please be in a Jesus costume and tell me no, don't have a baby.

Scott Benner 48:49
Well, since that didn't happen, you got knocked up, right?

Unknown Speaker 48:53
I did.

Jennifer Rainey 48:54
We had restarted trying that last fall. Um, and everything was like going really well. My body was working somewhat normally pcls wasn't wasn't causing too many issues. And hey, we started trying in the fall. And I thought I got pregnant. And I thought I got pregnant, but I never tested positive. I'm in November. So that was kind of strange. It was a weird like, I had all the symptoms and everything was just super wonky. And my blood sugar's were super low. And I just thought like, this is really strange, but I tested it tested it tested and I had a late period and it was like two weeks late, and I was like, that's super strange, but I never had a positive test. So

Scott Benner 49:50
do you know how babies are made? Do you need me to tell you or your Okay, yeah,

Jennifer Rainey 49:54
I know actually, I've had a lot of practice,

Scott Benner 49:57
okay, because boys have a penis and girls have a vagina and they Then when they love each other, I can explain what happens next. But I mean, you get it.

Jennifer Rainey 50:04
I get it. I've had quite a few conversations with teams.

Scott Benner 50:08
No, I think I understand. I understand what you mean. So it looked like you were pregnant. You just weren't.

Jennifer Rainey 50:13
Yeah, right. Everything in everything was pointing that way. And so I just thought it was a weird fluke, or that my PCs had had caused something to be off where there was a hormone surge or a lack of hormones or something like that. So we went to the doctor, I went to the doctor, actually, in the end of November, beginning of December, and she had ordered a couple of different medicines for me to try. But I kept going back and forth again on that, like, I don't know, God, is you because it's me? Do you want me to do this? Or like, Do I not do this? So I just kind of kept wavering back and forth on on trying the medicine or not doing different things, there was one that was going to be used off label. And it's, it's like now trek zone, which is used for people with addictions. And, and so I was very, like, kind of wigged out by it. It's like, I don't know if I want naltrexone in my system. I don't I don't know about all this.

Unknown Speaker 51:19
Now traxon.

Jennifer Rainey 51:20
Now, Trek's own I think

Scott Benner 51:24
that's interesting can read it can help prevent relapses in alcohol or drug abuse?

Jennifer Rainey 51:29
Yes. Yes. So if you take it super, super low dose, it can also help with with inflammation, which she said would would be it would also calm down the pcls, I guess.

Unknown Speaker 51:47
Wow. Um,

Jennifer Rainey 51:48
so I had to get it from like a pharmacy in Colorado and have to be compounded into smaller like doses because I'm not taking it in the normal fashion, which is used to help with? Did

Scott Benner 51:59
you have to call the pharmacy by phone and disguise your voice where you like,

Jennifer Rainey 52:05
you have to pay over the phone and like, call them and that was so strange to me.

Scott Benner 52:09
Yeah, that's it. They couldn't do that. In text. That's interesting. I don't want to fall down that rabbit hole. Anyway, you in the view in the mister get bang in every which way and eventually, yay, pregnant, right?

Jennifer Rainey 52:22
Yes, yes, that happened. I'm the beginning of January, I found out that I was pregnant. And that was super exciting. We didn't expect it. We didn't anticipate it. We had actually like said hey, let's just put it on hold because we found out my employer didn't have What do you call it that leave like to brew disability? Okay, so we had FMLA. But we didn't have temporary disability. So I set that all up through like an outside Insurance Agency, but we had to wait a month to try again. So we were like, Okay, well, we'll just wait till February.

Scott Benner 52:59
I'm thinking about all the effort you put into this. Some people just climb into the backseat of a car after a movie. And it just I know, right?

Jennifer Rainey 53:07
I know we've I mean, we foster kiddos that are like how these people just keep popping out the kiddos and

Scott Benner 53:14
just, it's just not the same you listen, you have very good reasons to pay attention. But you know, not here there. So were you like getting your blood sugar. Like, even better, like in the late like, during this time? Because you're you have a great day one scene now but they want you like under six for pregnancy, right?

Jennifer Rainey 53:33
Yes. And I've been no higher than then 6.4 for the past two or three years. But most of Gosh, for at that point, I was like 5.6 5.7 and today are the most recent one I've had now was 5.7 as well.

Unknown Speaker 53:51
That's excellent. So

Jennifer Rainey 53:52
I just kind of hanging out there. I started looping back in August, and that really just made it a lot easier to hang out. So

Scott Benner 54:01
excellent. The algorithm is just, it's pretty darn helpful.

Jennifer Rainey 54:05
Yeah, yeah, it's just a lot less to like think about it and be able to, to breathe just a little bit more. And that was what gave me a lot more competence to try to get pregnant. My endocrinologist is like, well, you would be my first pregnant looper. So let's just make sure we're on the same page as we go into this because you're in FM he knew my mfn my the specialist. And then my CD at the endocrinologist also is a looper so well. kinda have a great team on board now.

Scott Benner 54:34
That's excellent. Good for you. I guess I we should say this this pregnancy did not end the way you were hoping.

Jennifer Rainey 54:41
Correct? How

Scott Benner 54:42
long were you pregnant?

Jennifer Rainey 54:44
I saw I found out we think I found out earlier um, then maybe I should have I was only pregnant for they think about seven to eight weeks now. It it kind of Got a little sticky. I found out at the very beginning of January that I was pregnant. And I've lost the pregnancy. Whoo. Middle of middle of February, I think. And it didn't go. I knew I was pregnant super super early because my blood sugar's just plummeted. Loop was doing loop and doing amazing but I was taking zero insulin for like three days in a row. And I was chugging juice boxes like I was tired of juice boxes because I was I was in the 50s and 60s non stop and Lupo had backed off of all of my insulin,

Scott Benner 55:39
you just said something. Hold on a second. That's really helpful. So once you were pregnant, I'm actually making a note check. You needed less insulin by a lot. And there are four days prior to Arden's period coming, or she needs no insulin. I wonder what hormone if the if any overlaps in those two scenarios, I'm going to find out. Because that's a that's the first time that somebody said something that's made that click in my head. So I'm sorry, I gotta ask you. How were you pregnant when we met? I don't remember when I was in Dallas.

Jennifer Rainey 56:22
Um, I

know, you know what? No, because our our kiddo had just joined our household and we said yes to Him a few weeks after. After losing our baby.

Scott Benner 56:37
Yeah. Okay. So was it? What What did they end up telling you? It happened?

Jennifer Rainey 56:43
So it was it's a weird thing. And it's, again, again, is there more medical anomalies that only happened to me? Um, I had what they said, originally, they said was an ectopic pregnancy, which means that the baby was growing in one of the tubes, the fallopian tubes instead of growing in my uterus, which was terrifying. I woke up and I thought I was miscarrying one morning. Because just all of the graphic and gory but there was a whole bunch of blood and I would started sobbing. And I went to the doctor that same day, they got me in and they did, like 45 minutes of sonograms, which is never a good sign. And then she went in got the doctor. I guess this sonogram art artist, what do they call it? sonogram technician?

Scott Benner 57:35
Some people who do avant garde sonogram some people who do more traditional,

Jennifer Rainey 57:40
maybe not the right word, I'm

Scott Benner 57:42
pretty sure it's not but

Jennifer Rainey 57:45
it was like this is free to color growing.

Scott Benner 57:49
By the way is a strong possibility. This episode is gonna be called avant garde sonograms.

Jennifer Rainey 57:56
Oh, funny,

I guess more funny and also related as mine did look very strange and very unique. I've seen quite a bit of sonograms, because with my first son, I had basically a bajillion of them. I was getting them every week, just to make sure everything was going well with him. So I had a different doctor and and they were very, very proactive on sonograms originally. And so this one definitely looked different. I knew what a fetal pole was supposed to look like in inside my uterus, and that was definitely not there. So they were digging around and doing quite a bit of sonograms. And she went got the doctor. And then they said, All right, get dressed in and come into this other office. So the doctor originally said that it was a ectopic pregnancy, so it was going in the wrong place. But she said because of the reason that I called in because I had been bleeding a lot, there was a hope that I would be losing the pregnancy so that we wouldn't have to terminate it itself. Which is really, really hard. For me, that was something that I've always struggled with my belief system. And those are things that were just a really, really difficult place for me to be in learning that we might need to terminate because it was growing in a place that would that would cause me to hemorrhage if it ruptured.

Scott Benner 59:23
Yeah. What ended up happening did did it sort of unnaturally or did you have to intervene?

Jennifer Rainey 59:29
It did. So we had to do bloodwork every other day, and they were monitoring the HCG to see if it was dropping or rising. And it dropped significantly the first 48 hours which was a good sign. And then she said it flattened again because that can come sometimes can happen in ectopic miscarriages. Where ectopic pregnancies is your body doesn't know if it's pregnant or not. So it kind of gives you some hormones and then takes them away and so we waited Because I would have to take a trigger shot to help to help dissolve it. And we did. Gosh, we did bloodwork Monday, Wednesday and then Friday, and we just kept doing sonograms to to see what was going on. And the next one, they weren't able to find a fetal pole. In the blood flow that was going into where the the SAC was. They weren't able to find anything there. There wasn't as much blood flow going inside, which was they said was a good sign because it meant my body wasn't like feeding it so it wouldn't continue to grow.

Scott Benner 1:00:35
Right? That's just an indication that it's that it is going wrong and will just end up on its own at some point. Gotcha.

Jennifer Rainey 1:00:44
Yes. And it was in a really unique place. So it wasn't technically in the tube, it was in the opening of my uterus. And the doctor had said, you know, like, if it was one centimeter further into your uterus, like we would be completely fine. So that kind of sucked a lot. Because I had all of the full symptoms of pregnancy I had the nausea was crazy. All of this stuff was happening. I was we walked into a restaurant and I could smell the bleach that they were using in the bathroom and I was getting nauseous and had to run out of the restroom. The restaurant.

Scott Benner 1:01:17
Oh my god, I don't know what this you're poor. Listen, women. I feel bad for you. I seriously do because so much stuff happens to you guys like day to day, week to week, month to month, that it's just terrible. My wife will walk in the door, you know, at 6pm. And she can't even get it. She's like, what is that? I'm like, wait, what was there's an old apple in the bottom of the trashcan? Eight hours ago, but I took it outside. It's not it's not it's not like Oh, Jesus. What that turns into like a, like a like a hound dog out of nowhere. She could just smell anything anywhere. It's fascinating. It really is. I'm

Jennifer Rainey 1:01:56
glad I'm not alone in that my husband thinks it's so strange because I could I Can I smell things from very far away. And I'm like, Oh, what is that that you're making? Or if it smells delicious, I can smell it as I pull my car into the garage before I've even gone into the house.

Scott Benner 1:02:09
Yeah, tell him it gets more irritating after like, 25 years. You're just like, I know something smells somewhere. Let's go figure out what it is. You know?

Jennifer Rainey 1:02:17
Yes, yes.

Scott Benner 1:02:18
Because she can't get off of it either. By the way, what happened? She's just like, we have to do something about that. I'm like, about what, okay.

Jennifer Rainey 1:02:25
It's in your nose. It's there.

Scott Benner 1:02:28
I'm serious. And then you know, we find out a kid like one of the kids threw a banana way upstairs. Just like alright, I found the banana peel. I'll take care of it.

Jennifer Rainey 1:02:38
Yes, yeah, gosh. Yeah, that was that was it. We did. I did bloodwork every two days, for two and a half weeks, because my numbers kind of slowed down. But we were I was apprehensive about doing any, any kind of shots or treatments. And then I was also still having some horrible pains. And so there was this weird week where the pains were so severe that she said, if it's one point higher, you need to be in the hospital and we'll remove your ovaries and your uterus. Which was terrifying too, because here we are wanting to try and she's saying if we do surgery, we will remove it all.

Scott Benner 1:03:22
But that didn't happen.

Jennifer Rainey 1:03:23
That's it. Yeah, it was it was super scary. It ended up not having to have surgery because my body was was passing it somewhat naturally. And, and my blood sugar's I knew I knew something had changed because my blood sugar's went back down. They went back up. And my, you know, Luke was giving me normal amounts of insulin again. And that's when I knew that something had changed. Um, how long?

Scott Benner 1:03:50
How long did it take for your blood sugars to kind of regulate it was until this had kind of run its course.

Jennifer Rainey 1:03:57
I'm actually that weekend.

What was it like ml?

I don't know. There was a there was a weekend that my blood sugar's just were back to normal, and I had to take insulin for food again. And that was like a week later that I was like, Oh, that's strange. I just had a bolus for food. Um, because because I wasn't bolusing for food, and I was staying low.

And then I

yeah, I went above like, 130. And I was like, Oh, that's weird. Let me take some insulin.

Scott Benner 1:04:28
That's interesting. Oh, my Oh, so I'm sorry of this aside, because we're up to an hour now did did this change? I mean, are you gonna try again?

Jennifer Rainey 1:04:40
I don't know. I'm,

I'm still I still go back and forth. I think my husband definitely wants to try again. I go back and forth. And like sometimes I'm like, Yeah, let's do this. And then other times.

Other times, it's easy

Scott Benner 1:04:53
for him to say because an egg didn't get stuck in his fallopian tube. So I'll be like, sure you mean more sex. Like that part? Yeah, I hear that.

Jennifer Rainey 1:05:03
Yeah, yeah, um, other times, I go back and forth on it. I did start seeing therapist again. The week that we found out, we were losing our baby, we decided to name her or him. Because it felt really weird to keep just saying like the baby or the, the pregnancy or something. So, um, our son actually helped us and we talked to him about what had happened. And that mommy's body wasn't like, a good place for the baby to grow in. And it was really hurting mommy. And so the baby actually passed away. So we talked about naming the baby and he wanted it to be named in a name because his name also starts with an A.

Scott Benner 1:05:45
Did he choose? Did you guys choose? You don't have to tell me if you don't want?

Jennifer Rainey 1:05:50
Yes, no, we chose Avery tried to find a a unisex name that could be both boy or girl, depending on whatever the baby was. Oh, it

Scott Benner 1:05:57
was very nice. I agree. I mean, not that you need my, my my agreements or not. But I agree with a therapy that says it's such a great idea. Yeah, you know, just to sort of get through so because you've been through a fair amount. How old are you now?

Jennifer Rainey 1:06:13
I am 33. Now

Scott Benner 1:06:14
you gotta have stuff stop happening? Because I know. Yeah, that's enough.

Jennifer Rainey 1:06:19
I know, I would like like, I kind of like been nice and boring. Life. Like, I feel like, I feel like it makes my blood sugar's easier. It makes my life easier. And there's way less chaos. We bring in chaos through through foster care, but we try to like calm it all down and have a nice and normal schedule. My son, our son actually does really well on a schedule. He's one of those kids that like crave structure. So that's been a probably that was the biggest adjustment for me was being a parent. Like he's just, He's really good. And that structured life so

Scott Benner 1:06:55
well, I have to be honest, a Jennifer, I don't know why so many lovely and decent people end up on this podcast because just I mean, I'm, I don't know, like, I don't mean anything. I just it. It astounds me when I'm talking to people and they're telling me their stories. And, you know, just everybody's just wonderful. You know, people are, it's just a very nice, it's nice, like, I'm gonna have a good day now after talking to you. So Oh, seriously, I

Jennifer Rainey 1:07:22
share what? I don't know the other side of it. I'm not that I'm not that I'm like, oh, diabetes is bad. And it's gonna kill your babies. Because that's definitely not what I'm saying. You don't

Scott Benner 1:07:31
think I should title the episode? diabetes is bad, and it's going to kill your baby.

Jennifer Rainey 1:07:37
I mean, I would laugh at it, but I could see other people might be highly offended. It

Scott Benner 1:07:41
might make people upset is what I'm saying. I yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna stick away from that one. I think what you're saying is that, here's the thing that happened to you and it could, you know, it's, it's worth understanding that. Yeah, yeah.

Jennifer Rainey 1:07:53
I think blood sugar is watching my blood sugar's um, you know, I was doing all of the quote unquote, right things as a diabetic I was exercising three to five times a week and had a great a Wednesday, I had pretty good control, my standard deviation is low, my time and range is like 98% going into it. And that was with a tightened range, not the normal 70 to 180. You know, I was doing all of the things and I was working my tail off. And I don't blame myself for it. I know that crap happened. But I hope that at least just talking about it. Other people can. I don't know if they're going through something crappy that they know they're not alone.

Scott Benner 1:08:34
Yeah, that's, that's, I mean, important to understand. I have to say, though, I isn't it possible this all could have happened to you, even if you didn't have type one?

Jennifer Rainey 1:08:43
Absolutely. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:08:44
I mean, your lady parts might just be busted up or something.

Jennifer Rainey 1:08:46
They they're they're definitely busted up. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:08:48
for sure. I mean, I mean, I don't maybe it's the hair dye. Is that possible?

Jennifer Rainey 1:08:55
The pink of the purple from 15 years

Scott Benner 1:08:57
ago, I'm saying like, I don't know what happened where it leeches to? I don't understand science and thinking. So I don't know.

Jennifer Rainey 1:09:04
I know. I haven't told a whole bunch of tattoos too. I once had a doctor that said like, Oh, that's really bad for you basically poisoning your body so maybe it's the tattoos.

Scott Benner 1:09:12
Well, you meet a lot of crappy doctors don't you? Want to tell you bad stuff? But at least you didn't know least didn't throw one of those like tattooed needles at you because they're heavy. They're like

Jennifer Rainey 1:09:24
they're like heftier versions of needles.

Scott Benner 1:09:28
You deserve a pass Jennifer I don't know therapist says that we give out to people but if they are you get one.

Jennifer Rainey 1:09:35
I would love one I would love just like that. I think that was my goal going into our pregnancy with Avery was just like to have a normal pregnancy or I are my first one was so chaotic and crazy and and I definitely felt like it kind of robbed me of that joy of you know, everybody plans, their birth plan and your holistic life with your newborn baby and all of these happy things and mine I woke up in ICU with platelets and Blood being transfused in me, and it's liquid is this dark stuff in the IV bag? And they're like, Oh, yeah, that's blood. She's just kind of wanted to like a good healthy one. And I don't know. I don't know if that's, if that's just something I need to change in my once or, or what but I know, you know, diabetes wise, I went in it with the best control possible.

Scott Benner 1:10:20
Well, I guess the real question moving forward then is, is this something if it goes badly, again, you're up for it? You don't I mean, like I Timmy, it's not so much a question of do I want to have a baby of my own? The question is, can I physically and emotionally deal with this happening? Again, if it happens, because I, I come at everything from? No, like, I start with no. And then I work my way to Yes, that's how I think so if if you asked me if this had happened to me, I'd say, I don't know if I want to go through, you know, another pregnancy that doesn't end with a baby because I you know, I don't know the rest of it. I don't know how it impacted you emotionally. And yeah, that sort of stuff. To me. That's the way to think about it. But I don't know, maybe you'll just wait for a guy and assign the Jesus costume to tell you

Jennifer Rainey 1:11:12
why he talked about it with actually my therapist asked that question like, is that something that you want to do again, and I was like, I think I could do it one more time. And she was like, really? And I was like, Yeah, like, I know, my, I don't know, my emotional strength. And I am definitely one of those people that's like, like, if I stay, I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. Whether whether that means, you know, me getting wrecked in the process is a different story.

Scott Benner 1:11:39
I think that you know, you make a good point, though. You're a person who's been through a lot and it hasn't broken you stands the reason that one more bad things not gonna, like you don't feel like one more straw is gonna break the camel's back. Right? You're not ready.

Jennifer Rainey 1:11:54
Yeah, I think I've been endured a lot. And maybe all of that, like bad crap has just made me like, emotionally stronger person. I don't think I'm a tough hard ass kind of person. But I do think that, um, I don't know, I can endure a lot. Um,

Scott Benner 1:12:07
so you're, you might be willing to risk what it is in totality to have a miscarriage. To see if you can have a baby. Yeah,

Jennifer Rainey 1:12:17
I think I could endure maybe one maybe two more. Before I just be done. Done.

Scott Benner 1:12:23
Now, what would it look like? Would it just be like you go and be like, do you think he just like, like spring a leak? Or do you think it would just be like, Is your husband have to put you out in the backyard to pasture be like, Where's Jennifer? Oh, she doesn't live in the house anymore?

Jennifer Rainey 1:12:38
Um, no, you know,

I think that he, he's probably would be more, more distraught and more upset by it. I think there will always be that part of me that wants that, like, that happy ending kind of thing. But if that's just not part of my story, then trying to find the best. I don't know, just like everything else that's happened in my life trying to find the best outcome out of all of the bad.

Scott Benner 1:13:02
No, I mean, listen, some people's paths are just often said to me the other night she goes, can like Wouldn't it be cool if we were like a family where like, we just like a normal thing wrong. Like, just like one of us had asked him or something that'd be merged. I would definitely do better every time. You know,

Jennifer Rainey 1:13:21
I think yeah, I mean, I don't know bad stuff happens to good people. I'm not saying I'm good people. But I think that if I can just try to find a way to use my story to, to help somebody else. And then that's what I'm gonna do.

Scott Benner 1:13:36
Jennifer, I'm gonna leave you with this. And I mean, this incredibly sincerely. Do you really not know you're a good person? That was the saddest thing anyone's ever said on here. And you were just, you were hedging your bet. Are you afraid Jesus will hear you say you're a good person? But what? Why didn't you just say that? Tell me please.

Jennifer Rainey 1:13:55
Um, you know, I just, I mean, I think we all make mistakes, and we all do crazy things. I just, I just tried to be the best version of me that I possibly can be and I want to like when I do die, I know this is like a whole bunch of death talk. But when I do die, what I want people to be like, man, she lives like a full filled with love life. And that's, that's just what I try to do.

Scott Benner 1:14:18
Yeah, I just don't know why you would, would qualify. I'm not saying I'm gonna have you ever like shanked a bitch over cigarettes or something like that. Or?

Jennifer Rainey 1:14:26
I mean, I did say I lived like a crazy teenager. I'm kidding. I definitely did not think anybody

Scott Benner 1:14:33
will listen, I'm I'm no one to you. But let me just tell you that from my perspective, Jennifer, you are a good person.

Jennifer Rainey 1:14:41
Thank you.

Scott Benner 1:14:42
You're very welcome. Work on that in therapy and not laughing when somebody says something nice about you. Okay, because it took me a while to not have to giggle through somebody saying nice things about me too. And I grew up like a feral cat as well. So

Jennifer Rainey 1:14:58
I just imagined as like running Through like a forest or like a prairie scene, or just like brawling and then running. Yeah, my firm wasn't as much like out in the

Scott Benner 1:15:07
open. Like, it was just like an emotional. I was like an emotional feral cat like nobody ever checked on me. You know what I mean? They were never like, hey, you're right, right.

Jennifer Rainey 1:15:19
So like people didn't care.

Scott Benner 1:15:22
Really good student they left you alone.

Jennifer Rainey 1:15:24
Yes, I'm, again that devoted to like, I want to be the best. So I made no no A's and in everything. I just made a B again, like in grad school, and I was really, really mad at myself.

Scott Benner 1:15:38
My wife was getting her her advanced degree. She got like a 97 in a class. And she argued with that Professor for months by email. I was like, Kelly, why does this matter? She's like,

Unknown Speaker 1:15:51
89.4 It hurts so bad.

Scott Benner 1:15:54
Yeah, I was like, there's something incredibly wrong with you. Just so you know.

Jennifer Rainey 1:15:58
I get it. I get it. Tell her I totally get it. Oh, no,

Scott Benner 1:16:00
I don't think she's alone. I'm just telling you. All y'all are messed up. If that's, if that's a worry for you. You know, we

Jennifer Rainey 1:16:06
just want to be the best God like you want to be the best diabetics and the best pregnant person and the best mom and the best. Everything.

Unknown Speaker 1:16:13
I don't have

Jennifer Rainey 1:16:17
time in therapy. So

Scott Benner 1:16:18
I've never felt like that in my life. Like, you know, what, if I don't beat all of these people, it's gonna be a real letdown. Just I'm just always like, I'm doing alright. Good enough,

Jennifer Rainey 1:16:26
in my mind is not really so much a comparison to other people. Like I don't care if you go kill people,

Scott Benner 1:16:31
or yourself.

Jennifer Rainey 1:16:32
You know, it's just me. Yeah, like, I want to be the best for me.

Scott Benner 1:16:36
Oh, no, no, I see that my son is competitive against himself, too. But he really is. I've said it here before, but I don't know if it means as much to him to win a baseball game as it does for him to play well in that baseball game.

Jennifer Rainey 1:16:46
Yep. Yep.

Scott Benner 1:16:47
I can't tell sometimes, you know, he he really is in a competition with himself. So I'm sure he'll grow up to be a lunatic just like the rest of you guys. Anyway, you're really delightful. A huge thank you to one of today's sponsors, g Vogue, glucagon, find out more about chivo kaipa pen at G Vogue glucagon.com Ford slash juice box, you spell that? g d OKEGLUC. ag o n.com. forward slash juice box. I'd also like to thank the Contour Next One blood glucose meter and remind you that you can get it at Contour Next one.com forward slash juice box. And don't forget to check out the T one D exchange at T one d exchange.org. forward slash juice box. Hey, now that you're done listening, you should go check out the Facebook page for the podcast Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes, it's a private facebook page with over 7000 participants, everyone talking about type one management and other ideas. It's an equal mix of parents and adults, I think you'll like it. It's about the nicest place I've ever seen on Facebook. And that is saying something. If you're looking for a great doctor, or have one that you'd like to suggest to others, please check out juice box docs.com. And if you're looking for those diabetes pro tip episodes, and you're having trouble finding them there in your podcast player, they're all listed at diabetes pro tip.com. Check it out. Lastly, I'd love to thank you for sharing the show with other people. October was just the most popular month in the history of the show. Beating September that was the previous most popular month of the show, which of course, beat the month before that which beat the month before that, which but what I'm trying to tell you is the show becomes more and more popular every month. And that's because you're sharing it and I really appreciate it. All right. Thanks for listening. I'll see you next time.