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Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to Episode 484 of the Juicebox Podcast.

I want to try that again. I don't like how like affected my voice was Hello friends and welcome to Episode 484 of the Juicebox Podcast. On today's show, Bella Bella was diagnosed as a small child, she's more of an adult now, and she wanted to share with you what it was like growing up with Type One Diabetes. She's gonna tell you know, how seriously she took it. And how seriously she takes it now. So there's a difference between then and now. You're about to find out. Please remember, while you're listening that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan or becoming bold with insulin. If you're looking for those diabetes pro tip episodes, the defining diabetes episodes what else how we eat after dark, there's a lot to choose from, you can get a juice box, wow it just like bit my lip or something, you can go to Juicebox podcast.com. You can also go to diabetes pro tip calm for the pro tips and the defining stuff. And now this has gotten confusing.

This show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries g vo hypo Penn Find out more at G Vogue glucagon.com forward slash juicebox. The episode is also sponsored by the Contour Next One blood glucose meter. It is simply the easiest, brightest and most accurate blood glucose meter I've ever used. That's it. That's that's I mean that's the sound man. Contour. Next One forward slash juice box. If you find something that's more important than bright light, easy to read, easy to use Second Chance test strips and fits nicely in your pocket your purse your bag. I mean, what do you need? We need like be flashing lights or colors? Or? Actually I think it has that too. Let me think of something even more ridiculous. What do you need like bells and whistles. You don't need bells and whistles you need accuracy, ease, etc, etc. Oh, by the way, and reasonably priced to go check it out.

Bella 2:34
So hi, my name is Bella. I am 23 years old. And I live in Indiana in the US, of course. And I have been a type one diabetic going on 14 years now. So this December, it'll be 14 years. So I was diagnosed when I was nine years old. I was in the fourth grade. I wanted to come on the podcast originally I remember I sent you an email. And I was like during the peak of quarantine. And I was listening to your podcast on a walk I think and I was just like, you know, I think I'm gonna email him because I finally had the balls to just be like, let's thank him for the podcast and then throw in there, you know if you ever want me to be on it. Um, but yeah, I originally wanted to come on, I think just to give my perspective on growing up without taking care of your diabetes, I was very uncontrolled. Um, and now I am really controlled. Like, I'm very proud of how far I've came. And it's great. And I feel really healthy. And I think that's, yeah, no, it's really good. And that was originally why we wanted to come on. But it's been a couple months now. So I was thinking about yesterday, I was like, Well, what would I even say? So it's kind of just like whatever we talk about, we talk about.

Scott Benner 3:59
I already have questions. So a couple things. First of all, I'm from Indiana, in the United States, of course. So I'm not certain if you meant Obviously, I'm from the United States or obviously you all know that Indiana is in the United States. And now that I'm saying it I'm not sure why I said it told me that first

Bella 4:14
obviously us like after Indiana is of course in the US. Sorry. Not like of course I'm from the US because your podcast which is pretty far and wide. doesn't hate

Scott Benner 4:23
does. It was just it was it was the it was I don't know what it was like the balance of the words that came out. I was like, is she apologizing for having told people that it's in the US? I'm not 100%?

Bella 4:32
Oh, no, I'm not apologizing. Sometimes I should. We should probably collectively apologize but no.

Scott Benner 4:42
So and in fourth grade. I endured the entire the entirety of I think the worst teacher I had in the in the whole time. I was really I was your fourth grade experience.

Bella 4:56
Oh my gosh. So I had the best teacher. She was Sweet, so nice. She was like straight out of college. And I remember she was so kind to me. And she was just so sweet and I loved her so much. But fourth grade, getting diagnosed, that on the other hand was really hard for me. I remember, while I remember, my diagnosis was pretty weird. Well, it's not weird. I'm sure it's fairly common. But at the time, it felt weird. So I was, I was peeing the bed for like, a couple nights in a row. And my mom was like, obviously, like, something's wrong. You're in fourth grade, like, you shouldn't be peeing the bed. And it was like, I don't know what, two or three nights in a row. So she made me a doctor's appointment. I went to the doctor, all that good stuff happened, which I could go into detail on if you're curious.

Scott Benner 5:49
Well, but I want to know, if something if there was good stuff in details, tell me a little bit about it.

Bella 5:55
I remember going to the doctor. It was like halfway through the school day. So I left school early. And I don't really remember that much from the time period. Like, I feel like I've subconsciously blocked out a lot of my childhood diabetic years. What I do remember, I've like very vivid flashes of memory from that day. So I went to the doctor, like the local pediatrician office in the town nearby, and they I think I like peed in a cup. And then I think they tested my blood sugar. And I was like crazy high in the five hundreds. And I just remember them. The doctor, she was a female and she, I just remember her being like, Okay, I think like you have diabetes, you're going to have to go home and pack your bags and go to the hospital. And I just remember crying because my mom was upset, but I like I had no clue what that meant. So I wasn't able to really like fathom why I was upset or what was going on. And I remember I remember like the sweater I was wearing. I was wearing this like green and purple sweater with little balls on it. Very, like, early 2000s was adorable. And I remember being like, I'm so hungry. Can I eat something? And then the doctor was just like, you can go like, you should get some chicken nuggets. That should be okay. So I went to Wendy's got some chicken nuggets, which probably wasn't great for my blood sugar because they're breaded. But whatever.

Scott Benner 7:29
We're also not 100% sure they're chicken. But I digress. Yeah,

Bella 7:31
yeah, probably not. But they were Wendy's. And like to us, as far as chicken nuggets go. I feel like I don't eat meat at the moment. But I remember them being pretty good. So, yeah, when I went home, and I remember my sister was there with my grandma, and they were upset. And I feel like I was just like, Why is everyone upset? Like, what does this mean? And I went to the hospital. And I was there for like five days.

Scott Benner 7:57
And I have to tell you, though, I grew up so broke, I would imagine everybody was crying because of how much mattress cost?

Bella 8:04
Oh, my gosh. I had no clue about the reality of pricing and medical systems. And obviously, I mean, I was nine. I just

Scott Benner 8:13
had so many times I'm figuring you needed a new mattress.

Bella 8:18
I did. I assume I did. I mean better hope. I Yeah, right. You would hope so I, man, I'm trying to think about it. And I have missed

Unknown Speaker 8:29
your whole childhood just like what is that?

Bella 8:33
I literally, I had to have gotten a new mattress

Scott Benner 8:37
that with your mom and we'll put it at the end of the episode. I expect an email a couple days from now it says I've talked to my mom and mattress was not or was replaced.

Bella 8:45
I will definitely ask her. I'll ask her after I get off with you because I'm really curious now.

Scott Benner 8:52
Well, we sit fourth, fourth grades. Interesting, I think because obviously you have like real memories from the time so we're old enough to retain memories from it. young enough to not know the details. Yeah. But that's Um, I think that makes sense. I think if you were a few years younger, it would make sense. I have to tell you, I was joking earlier, but my fourth grade teacher made me hate math. So much. I'm going to admit this something. Do you mind if I admit to something? No, no, of course not. So we were learning multiplication in fourth grade. And I know that in a modern society people like yeah, I learned multiplication when I was like, you know, six, but it was the 70s and they were taking us slow. So every Friday, we'd show up, and he'd give us 100 quick multiplication, things like, you know, four times six and two times three. And you had I'm going to forget but I think it was five minutes to do 100 of them. Now the indication as I'm saying them is that these you know should be to you that these multiplication tables We're just the ones that everyone knows like three times six, and everyone listening just thought 18 except I was a little behind. And every one you got wrong. He sent you home on Friday, you had to write out each one you got wrong 10 times, what the heck, I freeze up and panic and start thinking about how it was going to lead to a weekend of writing multiplication tables. My dad yelling at me, my mom seeming disappointed my parents who were not great like, parents, they were, I don't know how to put it. They weren't good at fixing problems, I guess. And so I just would get to that test in the morning, I'd freeze up there were times I'd get 70 of them wrong, and spend every waking hour of the weekend writing out these multiplication tables. Well, he turned me off to it so much that I'm going to tell you now and people listening, I think imagine I'm a reasonably bright person, right? I used I did not know. I did not know how to do those basic multiplication tables for two and a half more years. Until, until I failed a math class in sixth grade, sixth grade, I was an algebra. And I couldn't do it. I failed it. I had to go to summer school. And that summer, sitting in my grandmother's house where I had to live so that I could be closer to the summer school. I thought to myself, This is ridiculous. And I sat at a table and taught myself all of those multiplication tables in like two hours.

Bella 11:31
That's amazing, though, that the end of the story. That's amazing. But honestly, I feel like that's really traumatizing. So I completely understand that.

Scott Benner 11:38
I mean, I'm 48 you guys here. I might be 48 or 49. I'm having trouble this year knowing how old I am. But that's funny happened to me a few years ago. But I I absolutely still like obviously you hear me joke about it. Like I'm worried that I'm not good at math. Because of that. And yeah, and it's not. It just was I think it was that exact time like I ran to the wrong guy at the wrong time was my point.

Bella 12:01
Yeah, I do get that. I definitely understand that.

Scott Benner 12:04
So what happened to you that you, you know, how was your management in those early years? Because you're really you want to talk about having not done well for yourself for a long time. So how did it begin?

Bella 12:15
Yeah, so I remember and I was actually telling my mom this morning, I was like, because I live with my mom right now. Because COVID is COVID is really making things great in the real world. But I told him that I was coming on this podcast, and she was like, well make sure you tell him that. You were sent to the hospital for a couple days. And they just had different doctors in and out every day. And none of them were specialists. None of them were endocrinologists there was like their pediatric team. And none of them taught us how like they didn't get like they didn't teach us anything I remember, like sticking things with syringes. Um, and I remember the first bit of being diagnosed, I would we would call the doctor like, I would be home and they would have us call the doctor to get like information on how to give myself injections, like how to correctly give the correct amount. And I just remember one of the doctors was so mean. And I remember he was like yelling at my mom. Or in my memory, he was yelling at my mom, who knows. I could have fabricated like that memory, in my mind. But he was mean and they were like not really helping us. But I think that in the early years, probably like the first two years, I was really resistant. I remember I didn't want to have shots. My mom said she would have to like hold me down sometimes just to inject me. And I think those first couple years my I mean, I didn't really do anything when I was nine years old. But I think that my so my dad wasn't really around much. So he was never really involved in my diabetes care. But I think my mom was completely overwhelmed. And she didn't,

Scott Benner 14:04
like, wasn't doing well. And then she got yelled at on top of that. This is my story about multiplication. Go ahead. I must Yeah,

Bella 14:12
pretty much and I don't think she she didn't have the resources to to learn how to take care of me or to teach me to take care of myself. And that's something that I've really had to come to terms with. Recently, since I started taking care of myself. It's something that I've really had to work on, not not letting myself resent her for because it's really easy for me to look back and be like man, like for all those years like I was slowly killing myself. And like you didn't know any better to help me not do that. But like I said she didn't know any better. So I think those first couple years. We were just doing what we could with the resources we had and I think that's why it's so great. So sometimes listen to your podcast and hear all these parents who take care of their kids so well, and it just gives me so much joy. But until I really listened to your podcast, I like I didn't really think that my situation was abnormal. Like, I didn't think that I didn't really think anything about how my mom didn't really know what she was doing. And it was kind of just like flying by the seat of I don't know that saying, but

Scott Benner 15:26
it's flying. fly by the seat of your pants. How old are you? I'm 23. There's an episode that went up yesterday with Julia, who's you know, a little older than you and I needed her to say like a test sentence and I said, Hey, say, I don't I forget what it was like. Susie sells seashells by the seashore or the rain. Oh, yeah. The rain falls mainly on the plane. And she's like, what I'm like the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plains. And she's like, what is that?

Bella 15:53
Yeah, no, I know that Susie Selden sees seashells by the seashore. That's a hard one. Nice

Unknown Speaker 15:59
try, Bella.

Scott Benner 16:01
Well, listen, I think that your story is why I am really proud of the podcast.

Bella 16:10
Yeah, I would be too. And that's why like, I like I don't want to be like, Oh, your podcast saved me. Because it didn't. I mean, like, I saved my self. Like I learned everything on my own technically, but your podcast has been just so helpful. And like, I know that I'm not the only one out there who like, learned how to Pre-Bolus and I'm just learned all these helpful tools. And yeah, it's something to be really proud of. for you. I hope that you're so proud of it.

Scott Benner 16:40
Well, I am but not as proud as I am of this fly by the seat of your pants is parlance from the early days of aviation aircraft initially had few navigational aids and flying was accomplished by means of the pilots judgment. The tip of the term emerged in the 30s and was first widely used in reports of Douglas Corrigan's flight from the US to Ireland in 1938. I guess he was flying by the seat of his pants.

Unknown Speaker 17:06
Okay,

Unknown Speaker 17:07
there we go.

Unknown Speaker 17:07
Moreno.

Scott Benner 17:09
Oh, yeah, I wish we could had like license for that in that music. That'd be right. I'd be like doing that right now. Anyway, do you even know what the see there's an interesting thing. Do you even know where the more you know comes from?

Bella 17:21
No, I don't where does it come from?

Scott Benner 17:25
Love this. It was a it was a thing on NBC. And besides the television, I wonder how far you have to go with people your age, like NBC, like Netflix, but you don't pay for it. It's

Unknown Speaker 17:37
I know what NBC

Scott Benner 17:39
they used to have these public service announcements. And on like the whole NBC thing in the United States, and they put out these educational messages. And at the end of it, there'd be this little music Hold on, let me see if I can play it.

Could you hear that? No. All right, well, I'll put it in what I'm making, what I'm making the podcast. But it was this like kind of star flying through space. And it had the words The more you know, and it played this little like, piano music behind it.

Bella 18:10
Wow, this has been so like, I'm really learning. I appreciate that learning

Scott Benner 18:15
and culturing, please, if this is culture, you're in trouble, Bella. But I'm just saying that. It's super interesting that you, you use phrases

Unknown Speaker 18:25
that you don't know or that I don't know, all of

Scott Benner 18:26
us that you you're using them properly, but you don't know where they came from or why they exist. That's so

Bella 18:31
yeah, that's really interesting. I've never thought about that. But that's a really good point. And I probably use so many that I honestly have no clue what the heck they actually like. Yeah, what you know where they're from?

Scott Benner 18:42
Well, you have to wonder too, right? How many people managing their diabetes or doing things? Because they heard it or heard enough of it to know that it's a rule in this one situation, but don't know why don't have the background information around it?

Bella 18:59
Yeah, and probably so many. I mean, like, I mean, so many, I mean, I didn't even fully understand until like, probably a year ago, how fat and protein affect the blood sugar and I still sometimes struggle with like really high fat meals. Um, but that's besides the point they're not

Scott Benner 19:23
it's not really know what I'm telling you is that my silly little stories and diabetes all are basically the same thing. It's, it's you just said the more you know, like you understood what that was, and you did enough, but not completely. So your, your mom's at home, she's got the needle, she's got the insulin, she understands a bit of it, but not enough. Like she gets to like when and the maybe the why, but not the how. And she has no context for what she's doing. And she's trying to make her way through this incredible difficult thing. Meanwhile, you're running around the house, like, being like, you're not putting a needle in me. Yeah. And, and, and it sounds like and not that I'm digging, but your dad might have been a spy or something because you said he wasn't around very much. She's doing it by yourself. And that's a lot of stuff for a person. How old? Was she at that time? Do you know?

Bella 20:19
Um, so she had me when she was 40. So she was an older lady birth older. So she was probably what, like 49, almost 50

Scott Benner 20:27
years she was done with you already in her hip her?

Unknown Speaker 20:31
Yeah.

Bella 20:34
Yeah, it was. I think that also, it's been really easy for me to focus myself in that story of like, this was so hard on me, like, this is my life. Like, how could you not have known better, but like, we've had some brief conversations about it here and there. And I know that she's really good at talking about her feelings. I mean, I'm not that great at talking about my feelings, either. Vulnerability was not something that I saw modeled in the household as a kid, which is something that I really strive to be better at, and more vulnerable. But so the small conversations that we have had about it, I can tell that it was hard on her. But I don't think she fully knows how to talk about it and like, unleash those emotions with me. So I can't really say much of how she like was actually thinking and what was actually going through her mind.

Scott Benner 21:30
That's called for your mom. Yeah. Is that cultural for your mom? Is she Irish? Oh,

Bella 21:37
I have no clue what it is. And I have tried to think about it. I don't know what it is, Neither of my parents really modeled vulnerability. I assume that neither of their parents did either, like the generational trauma that just goes down and down. But

Scott Benner 21:56
how we deal with it? Because it sounds like you're aware of it, or do you break through? Or do you I'm

Bella 22:01
trying, I'm trying so hard? Yes, I am aware of it. And I really want to be better at the things that my parents missed out, on or could have improved on. And I know that if I ever have kids, I'll have my own, you know, own stuff, that is gonna be my stuff. And then they'll probably want to be better than me at that stuff. But yeah, with emotions and vulnerability, that's something that I really have been trying to work on. And I think that also, it comes back to diabetes. So largely for me, because I remember that I was so overwhelmed when I was younger. Because I was pretty, I was like, once I was in like, sixth grade, I was practically managing everything on my own, like, my mom would take me to doctor's appointments. And she would call insurance, and she would go get my prescriptions and pay for everything. But I, you know, I was the person who was giving the shots. I was testing my blood sugar, and I just wasn't doing it like, and I wasn't doing a good job. Well, that's what I was trying,

Scott Benner 23:10
were you not doing it willfully? Were you not doing it? Well, because you didn't know how and did you just give up at some point?

Bella 23:18
Yeah, I didn't know how. And then. So I feel like diabetes is like, I don't know, it's I feel like it's like, you're told that you have to write a book in a different language, but you don't know this language. And you're given a dictionary in the other language, it's like, you're not like, I unless you have this information, you're not able to do it. And I didn't have the information. My mom didn't have the information. Um, and so I was just doing what I thought was normal, which was really not doing anything. And I remember I would like go to the nurse to check my blood sugar every day at lunch, you know, it would be in like the two hundreds and I would be so ashamed because I didn't think that it should be that. But I didn't know how to like, I didn't know why it was that high, or I didn't really know how to get it normal or what tools to use to get it normal. And well, yeah,

Scott Benner 24:13
you know, the evolution is, first I'm gonna go back for a second. Do you see you're describing, you know, things that your parents didn't have, that their parents probably didn't give them? And how you're trying to break free of that. Do you see why human evolution takes so long?

Bella 24:30
Yeah, there's really no I understand that. And I understand it's just a lot.

Scott Benner 24:36
Well, yeah, because you're also living at the same time. But if I if I took you and you know, I set you out in a nice field and put you in a small cabin and gave you all the things you needed to eat and said Bella, hey, we're here's all your you know, your your human failings and shortcomings work on them right now. You'd still struggle with it. But yeah, you got to go to school and get a job and have personal relationships. You're building a life, again, with incomplete tools, just like you're trying to manage your diabetes with incomplete tools.

Bella 25:10
I completely agree with that. Yeah.

Scott Benner 25:12
Well, it's just, it's the obvious nature of figuring out something complicated.

Bella 25:19
Yes, and complicated. It is.

Scott Benner 25:23
I'm sorry, you broke up for a second.

Bella 25:25
complicated it is like, it's definitely complicated.

Scott Benner 25:29
Everything's complicated, but when. So you can break it down as far as you want, and say, you know, the doctors didn't give you good tools. But the doctors are also people who were raised by people. And they're working through their stuff as they go to their job, which happens to be the most important thing in your world. At the moment, you've just been diagnosed with diabetes, you're counting on the doctor that came in, that doctor could be fighting with his spouse could have been raised by terrible people, like you have no idea like what leads somebody into their profession, maybe they're there in that room struggling with your demons, maybe your mom got on the phone with a doctor. And your mom reminded the doctor of his mother, who was who was helpless in her relationship with her husband, and he wishes subconsciously that she would have stood up there was like, who knows why he was mad. You don't mean like, it's, it's crazy. So at some point, we all have to take control and responsibility and say to ourselves, I don't read the words in this dictionary. I can't understand what they are. But I have to write this book. And then forget everything that anyone's told you in the past and approach it from a common sense nature, which I think is what I tried to do here. And it sounds like you did it on your own at some point. So So how long did you struggle and when did you start figuring it out?

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Bella 30:02
I struggled until, I mean, I still struggle. Of course we have our days, but I struggled all the time, I think, until I was about 20. So it hasn't been that long. And I would have some good periods where my blood sugar would be fairly stable in those periods. But like, my a one sees, well, first of all, I think this is important to tell you I didn't know what an AE one c meant, until I was like 20 years old. So that's like, what, like 11 years of diabetes without knowing what an AE one C was. I just have a hard time fathoming that at this point,

Scott Benner 30:49
yep, that a one C. And you'd be like, and they would tell you, there's a number you're shooting for basically, you'd be under it or over it, meaning, you know, I guess they'd be like, Oh, you missed or you're doing great. And then that was it. No one ever told you what the agency was or what it did. And you didn't take any steps to figure out what it was. And by the way, I find I'm not coming down on you. I think this is incredibly common. So

Bella 31:11
I think it is too. I think it's easy to feel like it's not common, because like we hear the podcast and, you know, you see all these people on Instagram who seemed like they have everything figured out. But I think the reality of diabetes is that I'm a more common story than Well, now I have not everything together. But now I'm pretty well controlled. And I'm really proud. But I think that my past is actually way more common than people like me with agencies that are good now, because even now I'll go to my doctor, and she's like, you are doing perfect. In my head. I'm like, are you serious, like, I'm not doing perfect at all. But to her, when she sees people all day, that you know, the air agencies are in the eights, nines, 10s, whatever they are, when she gets me coming in, my agency is in the fives. And it's been in the fives for over a year. So I'm really proud of that. Yeah, but when she sees that, I bet she's like, holy crap. This girl like she's got it like, I don't even need to. I don't need to do anything.

Scott Benner 32:11
I know. That's how they treat us. That is,

Unknown Speaker 32:13
yeah,

Scott Benner 32:14
and I'm standing there. I'm like, now you have no idea. There are things I don't get about this. And I don't even bother asking them because I think that their norm is keeping people in the seats. And I think they turn into cheerleaders for people. Like I think so. You know, um, it's, you know, you said that everyone on Instagram looks like they have it figured out. I would say that, you know, remove diabetes from that sentiment for a moment. And remember that Instagram is all about making you look like you have everything right.

Unknown Speaker 32:44
Yeah. You know, yeah,

Scott Benner 32:46
right. It's just is it is that it's pictures. And by the way, I don't come down in those I know, it's a systemic problem at this point that everyone is showing their best moment. And therefore the people who are looking in feel like oh, everybody's doing better than me. But at the same time, if you start a social media platform with photos, did you expect people were going to put up like ratty looking pictures of themselves? Yeah,

Bella 33:10
that's true. Like, it's not like I wake up, and I my hair isn't something you know?

Scott Benner 33:15
Like, my friends?

Bella 33:18
Yeah, no, that's a really great point. But also with Instagram. Like, I don't know how I, this was a couple this, I was like 20, like I said, so I don't know how but I started following someone that did yoga. And they were also a diabetic. And I don't know how I found them. But I remember seeing like that this person can take care of themselves, because they would share about their diabetes sometimes. And I remember seeing that and seeing that they could do all these things and have normal blood sugar. And that really motivated me that was kind of like a wake not a wake up call. But I was seeing it modeled for really the first time that it is possible to control yourself. And so that was actually a huge push for me to get my shit together and to learn and to start trying. So even though Instagram is something that can be so negative, and just not always great in that context. It was very, I don't know, it was helpful. And it's weird to think back and think that Instagram was helpful in that way. But it's pretty cool at the same time that it was,

Scott Benner 34:27
I 100% believe, but I also think it's interesting that you think of it as negative because the people you're following and the things they're sharing aren't negative. It's people's responses that are negative.

Bella 34:39
Yeah. And it's how we use it. That makes it negative.

Scott Benner 34:43
Yeah. And meanwhile, you can even understand those people's responses. Like imagine this. Imagine you instead of living for 10 years with diabetes and not doing great with it, you were 30 years into it, and now you're at home and your health is as you know, pours 30 years worth a really Bad management leads you to, and then you open up Instagram because you know, you're like, oh, maybe I can find some community here some light. And the first thing is, is somebody who comes along and they're just like, look at me, I do yoga, I perfect my body's tone, I can bend my leg back behind my head, and my eight one C is, you know, 5.1 a lot of people do not have the, the emotional maturity, some of them to blood sugars might be swinging all over the place as well. So they could be in their head kind of all over the place. And you would understand if their response was, you. You don't I mean, like I'm dying over here, literally and figuratively, and and, you know, you want to lash out at somebody, I don't even know if that's luck. I don't even know if that's negative, or if it's just a reasonable response. Some people have better responses, there's a person who will stick in my head forever, who was on Facebook, I don't know, were on some group, begging for help for people with her diabetes. And she was an adult who had had type one for I think, like 30 years and a bunch of kids. And she had come to this realization that she was going to die sooner than she wanted to, and that her children were going to be alone. And so she's helped asking people for help. And some of them came in and said, you should you should ask this guy Scott and tagged me in it. So I had her call me on the phone. And I gave her like, basically like, you know, the our primer on the way I think about blood sugars. And a couple of days later, like no lie, like two days later, she sent me this. This graph, and she had never been over 125 or 120. And she wasn't under 70 for like a whole day. Wow, super excited. Asked the sugar callback calls me back. She's crying. And I think these are gratitude tears allow the and then I realized No, that's not what this is. She was angry. Super, super, super angry, by the way that for 30 years, no one could get across to her what only really took an hour to understand, oh,

Bella 37:06
I completely understand that. I completely get that. And it's such a hard thing to come to terms with. And that's something that I personally have had a another hard time accepting. I have had periods where I'm just so angry at myself for how horribly I was controlling myself. And I guess not controlling my blood sugar's

Scott Benner 37:34
though you know that that's unreasonable, right?

Bella 37:37
Oh, yes, of course. I know that. That's something and I feel like it like I said, it's a process. So it's something that I've worked on. But yeah, I used to have those periods where I was just angry about, well, holy crap, like, Look, look at how I treated myself. And I think that also what that comes back to with me is fear for the future, which is also unreasonable. So I know that as well. I know, these things are unreasonable. But still, they persist. And they're hard. Because I think, with diabetes we hear all day long. Well, not all day long. But it's constantly being spouted in the media, and in all these things, that diabetes, you know, kills you complications, yada, yada. And so I think something that I've had to have a hard time with is trying to accept that how I treated myself in the past doesn't necessarily equate to how my future health will be.

Scott Benner 38:34
Well, do you think you who you are right now, the person Bella is today would have done that to herself, then? Like would have done like, if you could go back in time, and relive your life with your thoughts and knowledge that you have now? You wouldn't have done that to your viewer?

Bella 38:51
Oh, no, of course not. Right. Yeah.

Scott Benner 38:53
But you didn't know the things you know now.

Bella 38:56
Exactly. And that's why it's something that is accepted. Like, I can't be angry, but you can't be angry about the past, you don't know any better. Everyone's just doing the best that they can with what they have available. And that's what I was doing at the time. So a lot of wisdom, though. No, thanks. I try.

Scott Benner 39:18
I'm really impressed. Because usually your generation goes one way or the other. It's very, it's really interesting. It's either it's either very much like, Hey, did you see this thing on Twitter? Or, like these very deep thoughts? Um, I'm hoping more people have deeper thoughts.

Bella 39:34
I hope so too. I do agree with that, though. It's funny, because I'll connect with people my age, and sometimes I'm just like, I don't care. what you're talking about. This is silly. And then, but then also, like, I don't think I'm one of those people who has very deep thoughts like I have some friends that I'm just so intelligent and they'll say stuff and I'm just like, Man, I wish that I had an ounce of your ability to formulate words in such an intelligent manner, don't you think?

Scott Benner 40:00
The desire for that is what leads to it. Honestly, like, don't you think 10 years from now you'll listen back to this. And you'll think, Wow, I didn't know what I was talking about back then. But now I really do.

Bella 40:11
Oh, yeah. Oh, definitely. And I hope so like, I hope that in 10 years from now, I listen to this. And I'm like, This girl is a girl, like, I'm still a child. But also, I feel like 10 years from now, I'm still gonna feel like a kid because I feel like something that I've thought about a lot lately is how we're all just kind of big children just trying to do the best that we can. Like, even a seven year old, you're just a, you're essentially a child in an adult's body.

Scott Benner 40:39
It's funny, you said that because yesterday afternoon, I said to my wife, I'm gonna go to Costco to pick up like bulk like paper towels and toilet paper, like these kinds of things that we need, like in you know, a bunch of it. And I was just gonna go in and grab a few things and leave, I got a, I think I got a case of water and paper towels and stuff. And I'm all the way to the back of the store. And I'm walking to the front and I'm on a side aisle, this is really wide aisle, and there's no one in it. And I just took a few fast steps, and then jumped up on the back of the cart and rode the cart all the way down the aisle. Oh, that's

Unknown Speaker 41:12
so fun. It was just,

Scott Benner 41:14
I didn't when I got done. I did think like, I wonder what, what somebody would have like thought like is the security guy right now going look at this old guy riding the cart up the thing and what he would have thought and I wish I would be able to tell him in that moment if he had that thought. I feel like I'm 12 in my head.

Bella 41:33
Yes, exactly. You know, I completely understand that. That's all. Well, listen,

Scott Benner 41:37
I think first of all, you're doing terrific. And you're having a ton of realizations that are building your life up and your health. I I can't see where you'd be doing any better. Unless you're like, you know, breaking laws in your free time.

Bella 41:50
No, I am not breaking laws that I know of.

Scott Benner 41:56
I know. Yeah. Like you could wake up one day and go, Oh, my God, I had no idea that was a good.

Bella 42:02
Oh, man. That would be that would be something but no, I'm doing well. And diabetes is something that I've come to really welcome in my life. I used to be very not ashamed of it, I would say but I was just, I think I was so angry that I had diabetes, but I was trying to pretend like it was all okay, because I didn't know how to ask for help. And now I try to really just accept that diabetes is with me, and live with it and embrace it. And yeah, I still have days where I'm like, screw you, you're, you're in, you're making me mad. But for the most part, I've tried to use it as something to really grow from, because it's not going anywhere. So

Scott Benner 42:50
don't think it's just gonna get bored to you and go somewhere else.

Bella 42:53
That would be great. If it wanted to leave, it could I would be so I would love for it to go. But also, I thought about this recently, I have lived more of my life with diabetes than without it. And I can't imagine not having it. Like, I can't imagine what a normal brain thinks of who doesn't have diabetes at this point.

Scott Benner 43:13
Here's the question for you. You and I are in a room together. No one's ever gonna know. I bring in a complete stranger, your age, a girl your age? And I say, Bella, I have a magic wand here. I can give her your diabetes? Would you let me do it?

Unknown Speaker 43:34
Um,

Bella 43:37
I don't think so. Well. You know, it depends if this person I knew would be capable of managing but then I don't know. No, I don't I don't. I don't know if I think someone deserves to

Scott Benner 43:52
know the struggle in your voice is the answer.

Unknown Speaker 43:55
Yeah.

Scott Benner 43:56
There's no real answer. It's, you know, it's not, you know, it's not Hey, you, me and your mom are on a boat, and it's sinking. And one of us has to get thrown off, or the boats gonna say which one should go? Which I'm assuming you'd throw me off. But maybe you wouldn't.

Bella 44:12
Oh, man. Also unfair question. Right?

Scott Benner 44:15
They're all fair questions. The reason that they're fucking fun to ask is because your struggle in answering was the was the answer, which is, I can do this. I don't need to give it to somebody else and burden them, but oh my god, I love this to go away. And I don't know them. So if I suddenly make that girl, a friend of yours or your cousin, your answer becomes what?

Bella 44:41
No, of course not. And I've thought about that. I've thought about well, like, what if my sister would have been diagnosed or someone else? And I think that, I mean, given the circumstances you never know because I'm the one with it. But I think that I, I mean, I i've I can handle it. And I've had the strength to handle it and I I've used it to really help me. But you don't know how someone's gonna, gonna react to that, and you don't know how they're gonna come out of it. And for all, you know, they could be like me, they could be a lot better than me and have it figured out. Or essentially like, you know, fake figure it out from day one. Or they could be like me in the beginning and never get it figured out and just, you know, slowly killed themselves every day, which is not the way to live. And I wouldn't wish that on anyone, you know? Oh, do

Scott Benner 45:29
you know that you just made me feel very emotional with your answer. I thought that was incredibly insightful. Oh, thank you. That was wonderful. He was thrown together quite a little good episode of this podcast. I don't know if you realize yet or not. I'm able to judge them on the fly. Because I've done so many. This is very good.

Bella 45:48
Looks, I'm so nice to hear. I was honestly thinking about and I was like, man, I wonder if this is gonna be this is gonna be a bad one.

Scott Benner 45:55
Wait, are there bad ones?

Unknown Speaker 45:56
Well, no, but

Bella 45:59
I meant like, if you were gonna listen to this and be like, Oh, I don't know if I want to put this out there.

Scott Benner 46:04
Do people have that expectation that there are episodes that have been recorded that nobody hears? Because I think they're bad?

Bella 46:11
Um, I don't think so. I would assume that you put them all out there. Because I feel like that'd be a really awkward conversation if someone emailed you. And they were like, hey, like, just checking in? Are you gonna put that like, what are you putting the episode out? And you're just like, Oh, well, actually,

Scott Benner 46:25
less than a while ago, because there were two that I was 100% sure, were terrible. I kept pushing off using them and pushing off using them. And then I got stuck one day, I was like, Oh, I need an episode. And I put it out. And then the response I get back is so overwhelmingly positive. That I think, Okay, this episode might not have been right for me, or right for someone, but it was right for enough people that I got emails about it. Oh, yeah. Even the other day, we put one up. By the way, when I do that, it freaks me out. Because I don't know who we is. Because I do this myself. I'm like,

Bella 47:05
Oh, that's so funny. I understand that. I sometimes do that, too. And I'm like, so we need this. And I'm like, wait, no, yeah. But

Scott Benner 47:12
so I put one up the other day, it was like this very long conversation with this with this guy, and I thought it was an important conversation is around insulin pricing. And

Bella 47:23
oh, I just listened to that. I thought that was great. I really liked that.

Scott Benner 47:26
Okay, great. I'm glad you did. I immediately woke up the next morning to an instant to a message somewhere on the internet. That was like, hey, Scott, listen, that's the worst episode you've ever done.

Unknown Speaker 47:37
Are you serious?

Scott Benner 47:38
And you talked way too much. And I thought I did talk a lot. But I was really jacked up and like, passionate about what we were talking about. And I also thought the entirety of the episode was different than most of them. It wasn't his back and forth. It was more of like, Hey, here's what I think about something for a few minutes. Here's what he thought about something for a few minutes. It wasn't as back and forth. I just thought it was kind of an episode unto itself. And so the message of I didn't like that was the first one I got of the day, which, by the way, to all of you listening. It's lovely to wake up in the morning, work so hard at something and hear somebody be like, that sucks. Like,

Bella 48:15
oh, man, but I'm okay. That's a day. ruiner

Scott Benner 48:19
No, no, no, not anymore. I know how to. I just I wrote her. I was like, Alright, it's his opinion. He didn't like it. And then I started wondering, I wonder if I'll hear back from anybody else. And then I started getting other messages from people. That was great. A guy on Instagram goes, best episode you've ever put out. And I was like, Boy, that's the interesting thing right there. Because this was neither neither of the best or worst episode I've ever made. But for them, it was.

Bella 48:45
Yeah. And I understand that completely. And it's so interesting, because you never know how someone's going to take it. So like you said, for someone that was absolutely horrible, which I don't think that I don't get how that would that one was a bad episode. Because if anything, it was informative, if someone didn't really understand what's going on with insulin pricing. And the other thing he was talking about, give me

Scott Benner 49:09
give me a sec. So interesting. You, you do know how, because we talked about it earlier, because I spoke a lot. And he probably didn't feel like I was given the other guy room to talk, which I feel like I did, probably grew

Bella 49:23
i guess i get that

Scott Benner 49:24
he probably got that probably grew up with a parent who dominated the other one and didn't let the other one speak. Or he works for a guy who dominates people and doesn't let them speak. Or, or or or there's some sensitivity. He had to that thing, and I don't begrudge him that I think that's completely reasonable. You know what I mean? But but also in fairness, it wasn't like he was like, and I'm never listening again. He was just like, I loved the podcast, but you know, I didn't think this was good.

Bella 49:53
Interesting, but you know, that does make sense and instead of just, you know, taking that situation and You know, asking himself why it bothered him, he decided to tell you that it bothered him. And I also

Scott Benner 50:06
don't want to. This is a two step statement. I don't want to hear everyone's thoughts because that would overwhelm me. But I do like getting feedback. And it was Yeah. You know what I mean? It was helpful, because when I got done when I was finished with the Edit, I was like, Yeah, I did talk a lot here. But I felt like that the content overwhelmed the pacing. So I was just like, I'm gonna let it go out just like this.

Bella 50:31
Yeah. And I also think, I mean, in that situation, specifically, like, that was a long episode. And I think it also could have been even longer. Because I think with a subject like that both of you guys probably could have talked and talked and talked.

Scott Benner 50:44
Yeah, no, I think Cameron, I probably. So here's the other thing Cameron's amazing. But he's also. And this was the first time I had ever spoken to him. But he struck me as a little reserved. And so when people are a little more reserved, they don't they have a hard time projecting, they want someone to I don't know, like, I don't know what I mean, right. They're like, there's one of these things where I have a sense about something while I'm recording the podcast that I can't put into words, but some people, some people start out nervous, and they need to be, you know, relaxed, and then they find their groove. Some people will fumble for words forever and can't find them, but they know what they're saying. So you just have to give them time and let them go. And some people are just polite, and they don't play people sometimes don't initiate.

Bella 51:33
I do get that and you have to coax it out of them kind of

Scott Benner 51:36
Yeah, or I have to get you know, in that case, I found myself getting real worked up. And then when I got worked up, Cameron said something. I was like, God, I agree with that guy. And then so he liked it. And so it would go back and forth. And I don't know, I felt like it went well. And I'm not apologizing for i thought was a good episode.

Bella 51:52
Yeah, you shouldn't apologize for what you put out. That's great.

Scott Benner 51:55
That's not good. Do you know,

Bella 51:56
unless you do actually have something worth apologizing for, then of course, I would hope that you apologize.

Scott Benner 52:01
I have so far I think avoided that. I don't have a lot of thoughts that I believe that if you heard I would have to apologize for so that's that's why they're not slipping out. Because I'm not holding. It's not like I'm talking right now and about to say something horrible. But I'm stopping myself. You know,

Bella 52:16
I would hope so that would be I would not be ideal,

Scott Benner 52:18
where you'd be upset. You'd be like, I like podcasts. I like that guys, actually.

Bella 52:22
Yeah, I know exactly. I would leave this conversation and be like, man, I don't think that Oh, that really didn't live up to my expectation. Imagine

Scott Benner 52:30
if like after the recording, I shut it off. And I was like, so. I don't know. I pick some like, you know, some group of people and I was like, how bad are they? Hmm. Wait, what? No, you can't have my episode.

Unknown Speaker 52:45
Exactly. People.

Scott Benner 52:47
Well, well, what do you like today? How do you manage your blood sugar's today? Like you said your blood your even season the fives.

Bella 52:55
Yeah, my ANC has been in the fives for over a year. Now. My, I just got it done a couple weeks ago when I was 5.4, which I was kind of. I wasn't frustrated, but I was a little frustrated because it was 5.1 previously, so I was like, man, it went up. But honestly, I should not be sweating a point three increase. That's ridiculous.

Scott Benner 53:17
But I'm not a doctor, but 5154 I think you're okay.

Bella 53:21
Yeah, exactly. But so I managed. So right now I'm on Medtronic. And I'm currently switching over. I just got my Dexcom a couple days ago, but I'm not using it yet, because I'm getting the T slim. Um, and I don't want to use the sensors until I have this T slim because I don't know, I just don't want to waste them. But I yeah, I'm on Medtronic. Right now I have the 670 G. And so I first got on that 2018. And my mom wanted me to get it for auto mode, because I was going I was studying in New Zealand for a semester. So she was like, I think this will be helpful for you. yada yada. And so I got that I used auto mode for the entirety. I was in New Zealand for like six months, and it sucks. And I would be I would just it was horrible. Like I would wake up in the sensor would tell me that I was like 130 and I checked my blood sugar and I'd actually be like, 170 and I'm like sweet because that's really gonna do some good for my health in the long run. Um,

Scott Benner 54:21
so I imagine that Medtronic has like designated a person to listen to this podcast, everyone comes out and says stuff like that. I always feel like bad a little,

Bella 54:33
honestly. Okay, I do appreciate Medtronic because they have a very good financial assistance program. So they really helped me out with that. But then their sensor just could use some work. And I'm also interested though, so when I start using the Dexcom I really hope that I don't have things to say about it like I do with Medtronic, because if that's the case, I'm just going to be I'm just going to throw up my arms and say okay, I guess you can't win.

Scott Benner 55:01
Here's what I can tell you about Dexcom my daughter's a one c matches my expectations based on our readings.

Unknown Speaker 55:07
Okay,

Scott Benner 55:08
that's good. That's how I that's how I judge anything.

Bella 55:11
Yeah. And that's a really good point. Yeah.

Scott Benner 55:13
So I get what I expect. And if it's telling me this, and that's what's happening at the end. I mean, listen, can Arden's blood sugar be 110? When it's really 95? Or it's gonna say it's 95? When it's really 110? I'm sure that happens. Oh, yeah. But in the end, Arden has a stable steady a one C in the fives for I think we're coming up on six or seven years, I've

Unknown Speaker 55:38
lost track. So great.

Scott Benner 55:39
Yeah. So it works well for us. And I listen, I don't doubt there are people whose body chemistry doesn't jive with it. Like I'm sure those people exist as well, you know?

Bella 55:50
Yeah. But I'm excited to switch over I am. I yeah, I just think it'll be good for a switch. I've been on a Medtronic pump since I was in sixth grade. So it's been a while, but I wasn't using a sensor until I was like, until 2000, like 16. So I went a long time without using a sensor.

Scott Benner 56:12
Wow, that's I listen. That's how that's how things go. You know, stuff gets better. And people come online slowly. And eventually, everyone who can afford it, who wants it? I will have it. I think as long as they know about it.

Bella 56:28
Having a sensor is just so important. Like if I I really hope that like I can't imagine being on injections, I think that would be really overwhelming for me. But I also, if I had to choose between a pump or a sensor, I think I would have to choose a sensor because I can see what's going on. Like, I don't want to test my blood sugar's 20 times a day, just so I can see what's going on.

Scott Benner 56:52
Yeah, no, I listen to if you know, it's sort of like a false choice, because you don't have to choose between a CGM and a pump. But if you did, I I'd have trouble disagreeing with that. I'd go I go Dexcom before I would have a pump.

Unknown Speaker 57:07
Yeah,

Scott Benner 57:08
yeah, I think it just, you know, it makes sense. Hey, earlier. Earlier, you said something that I want to remember, and I didn't write it down. And now I'm like, I'm sitting here thinking like, what was it? I'm so sorry. Um, give me a second. I'll make that noise that makes people think of things. Ah, I think I think you said already, but I want to make sure that I'm right. Okay, what was the value of the podcast for you?

Bella 57:37
Oh, okay. So this podcast has been great on to two levels of initially, it gave me the tools to, you know, be bold with insulin, but to really give myself insulin in a smarter way, in a way that works with my body in a way that works with my food. So it was immensely helpful for that. And I will always be grateful for that. But I think that it's also given me this weird sense of community that I don't really have. And everyone talks about how it's so important for diabetics to have community within the diet with other diabetics. And in person in real life, I don't really know many diabetics. But I, it's so comforting to listen to your show. And especially when it's people, you know, my age a little bit younger, into, you know, like people into their 30s to like, the younger generation. And it's also it's nice to hear, so like some of the parents talking about their kids, but I really connect with one or two people just talking about themselves and their own experiences with it. And it gives me a sense of community. And I think that is, that's just so valuable. And I really appreciate that i'm

Scott Benner 58:53
glad i 100% believe that community in any way that it manifests itself for you is very important. I also really appreciate that people listen to the show, because it allows me to do something that I don't think most of you listening would imagine is difficult to accomplish. But Bella just said, I like to hear from kids a little younger than me a little older than me people my age. But I also like to listen to parents, but you hesitated on that a little bit. Like maybe that's not as good for you as it is hearing like people living with diabetes.

Unknown Speaker 59:27
Yeah,

Scott Benner 59:28
if you guess if everyone didn't listen with the veracity that they do, I'd get penned in. And I'd have to make a decision. Like this is just going to be a podcast for the parents of kids with diabetes. This is just going to be a podcast for the for adults living with diabetes, because because stuff like this dies quickly. And if I if I put four episodes out in a row that nobody is willing to listen to. I can't keep making the podcast.

Unknown Speaker 59:55
Yeah, well, that's

Bella 59:56
actually really funny that you say because I remember This summer, I was talking to a co worker. And I was like, Yeah, like, what kind of podcast do you listen to? And he was like, yada, yada. What do you like to listen to? And I was like, Oh, I listened to this diabetes podcast on top of other podcasts. But I obviously mentioned this one. And he was like, What doesn't that get old? Like, don't you run out of things to talk about? And I was just like, I felt offended. I was like, Well, you know, when you have an illness that doesn't go away, you'd be surprised at how much there really is to talk about?

Scott Benner 1:00:28
Yeah. Oh, I listen. I was, excuse me, I, I've said it on here a couple of times. But I spoke to somebody as I was doing this. And so before podcasts exist, there was something called like, blog talk radio. And it was like, the audio was bad. Like it was coming over a phone line. And but it was it was interesting. And I talked to this guy who had a blog talk radio show about diabetes have to clear my throat. Wow, I'm so sorry. And he, he was like, Oh, I think you'd be great at this. I'd been a guest on his show. While I was selling my book. And he, he's like, Oh, I think you'd be great at it. But his one piece of advice ended up being I don't know, it wasn't it didn't ring true in the end is like you'll run out of things to talk about eventually. That's what happened to me. And, and so I began this journey, thinking that it had a finite end. I think you can even hear it. I'll say it. Like in earlier episodes, I don't know how long you can keep this going. And now I don't believe that at all. Now, I believe exactly what you just said, I think I could make this podcast forever. And I think it would be just as popular if not more popular than it is right now. Because people think so always need to have conversations. And and I hope that I make this more than just about diabetes. I feel like I do.

Bella 1:01:51
I think you do, I think, yeah, I definitely do. And I think that that's good, too. Because I listen to it. And you know, I get to hear about people's experiences that live. I mean, you get some people from all over the place that come on here. Yeah. And you have different experiences and who different things who do different things. And I definitely think you make about more than diabetes, which is also great, because living with diabetes, you can't let it be the all consuming thing, like you're so much more like I'm so much more than just a person with diabetes, like diabetes affects how I do everything. Yeah, but I mean, I'm still I mean, I'm diabetes is just one thing, but I am so it can't be all that you talk about.

Scott Benner 1:02:33
I think that I agree. And I appreciate you saying that I just recorded the other day with a woman in Israel, who was just just diagnosed recently as an adult. A cellist you know, who is a classically trained musician. You know, and you and I think you all have equally valuable things to bring to the show.

Bella 1:02:55
Yeah, I think so. You were really well, so thing I don't think it'll ever end because people are you gonna keep wanting to come on and talk to you.

Scott Benner 1:03:02
I just have to make enough money that I can hire I you know, I say this, like, I was gonna say an editor, but that's not true. Like, because then I don't know how to teach somebody my sensibility. Oh, yeah, I understand that, you know, you mean, but there are days like I am. There are days that I sit in this chair all day to bring the podcast to you guys. And it's like, oh, my gosh, like, I got one of the things I should go for a walk, I keep thinking about how the podcast is gonna end I'm gonna have a heart attack from not moving around. That's funny. So is there anything that we didn't talk about that you wanted to?

Unknown Speaker 1:03:36
Um,

Bella 1:03:40
I don't think so. But I? No, I don't think so. Because the thing is, like, the people that listen to this podcast care, they care about either someone with diabetes, or they care about their diabetes. And I think the only thing I would want to say is to actually no, I do if you're a parent, to someone with diabetes, or your you love someone's diabetes, I think that you should definitely encourage them to talk about how they feel about it. Ask them if they're okay. And don't just take Yeah, I'm fine for an answer. Because I know personally with me, I would be asked if I was okay as the kid. Um, and I would just be like, Yeah, I'm fine. Like, it's not cancer, but in my head, I was like, screaming, I'm not okay. So I think that's just what I want to put out there. You know, definitely ask those with diabetes, especially the younger ones, you know, how are you feeling? How can I help you?

Scott Benner 1:04:42
I just yeah, I wonder if I wonder how far that goes. Meaning if how far could your mom have pressed you before you would have told her how you felt? I mean, I

Unknown Speaker 1:04:54
you might not know, right? Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:04:56
I I'm here's how I do it. I like hugging. I like to Stop people in the middle of the day and just give them a hug and linger for a minute. You don't even like I'll hug Arden or my son, my wife and people are having, you know, stressful days. And, and of course we all live in the same house out right now in this house. There are four people doing four completely different things in four different rooms. Yeah, because of COVID.

Unknown Speaker 1:05:18
COVID. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:05:19
so everyone's a little like, I don't know, we're all vibrating a little bit, you know, and I think somebody has to hug sometimes just kind of like settles down a little bit. And I do I completely agree with you said. And at the same time, I don't know, like, I've pressed people who I know are struggling with things in my life, and they are not gonna budge over it.

Bella 1:05:40
Yeah, that's a really good point. And I do get what you're saying. Like, as a kid, if I would have been asked and asked again and asked repeatedly what I have said that I wasn't okay. Probably not like it probably would have taken a lot of pushing. And

Scott Benner 1:05:57
build. You know what you never hear on this podcast, you never hear me bring on a quote unquote, expert to answer questions about how we should do things, because I think those are just nice. They're nice concepts. You don't mean like, like, here's one never lie. We should all be kind to each other. treat other people the way you want to be treated. These things are obvious, right? 100% obvious. But people don't do them. Why is that? Yeah. Cuz they don't know. They know Do unto others, right? Like, everybody knows that phrase, you even know, the more you know, even though you don't know why you know it. And so, but how many people actually spend their days just treating people the way they want to be treated?

Bella 1:06:38
Very few? Well, not very few. But less, you know, not everyone. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:06:42
right. It's fewer than you think. And I just think that it's it's a little disingenuous to say, this is how you should run your life. And look, I told them now. So they'll be okay. If you have to have, everyone's got to have some sort of an awakening around everything. Whether it's how you treat people or how you treat yourself, how you manage your insulin, you have to come to it on your own. I've had, I've had people come to me privately. And they're like, I heard you help people sometimes. Can you give me a hand? I helped a woman last week, she was easy. She asked questions, got answers, took the answers, put them in the practice in three days, we were gone. She's amazing. I've also had people fight me every step of the way. And I'll try for a day or two. And then I'm like, Look, you're not ready for this. So I and then I feel terrible. Because I've seen their graphs. And I'm like, now I'm walking away from them. It feels like but I'm not, they're not ready for it. I could stay with them forever. They weren't ready to listen. And one day they either will be or they won't be. And that's not under my control or anyone else's. That's true. That's what I've learned in this podcast so far. Plus, how do we use this? Like editing software? But no, I just think that I think what's obvious, and what you're ready to do two completely different things.

Bella 1:08:09
No, that's really true. That is a great point.

Scott Benner 1:08:12
I don't know. We'll see. So the best you can do. You've already said the answer is model. Gandhi said it right. What did Gandhi say? How do they say? You said you wish your parents would model? What would you talk vulnerability? And you think if they would have you may have picked that up, right? Uh huh. Right. And what do you got to say Be the change you want to see in the world?

Bella 1:08:37
Yes. Yes. Be the change you wish to see. I want to see yes.

Scott Benner 1:08:39
Yeah. So

Bella 1:08:41
yeah, all I can do is be is I want to be

Unknown Speaker 1:08:46
modeling vulnerability. Yeah. And hope people take that from you. Right,

Bella 1:08:51
definitely don't go. Yeah, I agree with that.

Unknown Speaker 1:08:54
Life Cz.

Unknown Speaker 1:08:56
Oh, yeah. Right. Super simple.

Scott Benner 1:08:58
Just seriously, it really is, by the way, just, you know, good intentions. Do the best you can. I honestly run my life on like, a couple of basic ideas. I don't lie if I can help it. And I treat people the way I want to be treated as often as I can.

Bella 1:09:17
Yeah, and those are two very powerful things.

Scott Benner 1:09:20
truly the best I can do. Because otherwise, I've got other things going on too. And sometimes my needs come before your needs. But every, every time I can put you before me. That's my intention. I don't always get it right.

Bella 1:09:34
Yeah, but but we're human. So of course not. I'm just

Scott Benner 1:09:37
shooting for the best. That's all I'll fall short most times, but at least I'm trying. I think yes.

Bella 1:09:42
Trying is the big thing.

Scott Benner 1:09:45
Yeah, I think it resonates with people. And then eventually they grow up and hopefully they'll do the same. I have a little example is that when I leave the house, which I don't do as much anymore Or even when I leave a setting in the house to go to something else, I tell the people around me. And it's not like I'm asking permission or checking in, I'll just be like, Hey, I'm going to go to the store. I expect to be back pretty quickly. Yeah, where I'm going to go to the store, but I got to make a couple stops, I'll be a little longer. I'm going to go upstairs now and work. I don't know why. I think that lends comfort to people. The idea of like, I know where the people I love are. And I think that's kind of important. My son. He's 20. Every time he leaves the house, he's like, Hey, I'm, I'm just hanging out. He doesn't feel like he has to tell me I've never once made him feel like he has to tell me I've never once in my life said to my son, you have to tell me where you're going before you leave the house. But he always does. He just sort of makes his intentions clear as he's moving around. And I think he got that for me. And he doesn't even realize,

Bella 1:10:49
Oh, yeah, most definitely. That makes complete sense. You can do that with other stuff. Yes, you can. Oh, I love that. That's a good. I mean, I I feel like that's something that I know already. But I don't think about and that's very true. You can't do that with other stuff.

Scott Benner 1:11:03
Well, once you make a baby ballot, and your intention is to not screw it up royally. You'll start having the thoughts more consciously.

Bella 1:11:10
Oh, man. Yeah. We'll see though. We'll see if that. I got a while.

Scott Benner 1:11:13
Yeah. Oh, please, man. Good advice. Your mom waited a 40 I might have been too long. But early 30s.

Unknown Speaker 1:11:22
Nothing wrong with that. Oh, yeah, definitely.

Unknown Speaker 1:11:25
I'm not I'm not thinking about my Russian.

Unknown Speaker 1:11:30
Is there a boy?

Bella 1:11:31
Oh, sorry. I didn't hear that. No, no, there's not. Okay. Good, but that would be great, too. So but one thing before the other. Of course, I don't

Scott Benner 1:11:39
even know how people in your generation are gonna end up pregnant.

Bella 1:11:42
Oh, man. I don't know parent. I mean, especially with everyone uses dating websites. I hate that.

Scott Benner 1:11:49
Yeah, I mean, listen, as far as I know, you can't get pregnant through tic tocs. You guys are screwed.

Bella 1:11:53
Oh, no. Okay, so I think tic tocs a little earlier. Well, I think tic tocs earlier than my generation. But I do have think like I have friends that use it. But I don't. I'm not on the TIC Tock.

Scott Benner 1:12:03
Yeah, you know, when some guy slides up in your DMS, he can't actually slide up to where the babies get made. You understand? That doesn't work, though. Yeah, I'm

Bella 1:12:10
very well aware of that for you. Yeah, social media. That's,

Scott Benner 1:12:15
I'll tell you, if I could do one thing. I, if you put me in charge of something you're like, just make some blanket decision that you think will help the world. I think I would take social media away.

Bella 1:12:27
Honestly, I think that would be so interesting, because I think that we would be forced, especially my generation younger, we'd be forced to do things in person. And we'd be so much more personable. And we wouldn't have so much phone anxiety. And I think that would be great. But then also, like we've talked about social media has so many benefits. And there's a lot of glide. I think the costs sometimes outweigh those benefits. Sometimes the popularity

Scott Benner 1:12:55
of the podcast is because people have the ability to tell each other about it.

Unknown Speaker 1:12:59
Yeah.

Bella 1:13:00
So I mean, I wouldn't have found it if someone hadn't posted about it most likely, because it's not like I was searching the internet for like, diabetes podcast.

Scott Benner 1:13:09
Okay. All right. Obviously, I can't take social media while hurt the podcast, but I maybe I would say like, you know, let's not spend so many the scrolling and double tapping on Instagram is maddening to me. I'm always like, Did you see the picture? What? What are you doing? Just giving out likes? It's weird. You know,

Bella 1:13:27
I agree. It's an odd thing. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:13:30
I don't know. Y'all are listening. And I gotta tell you one thing, you don't realize it's gonna go away. Yeah, there, there have been social media platforms in the past that have been incredibly popular and have

Bella 1:13:42
Oh, yeah, like my space. My Space was my jam as a kid as a kid, but kind of as a kid. No, no one uses my space anymore.

Scott Benner 1:13:50
No, your little animated GIFs and your sparklies and stuff. Like that was exciting, I would imagine. Yep. Yeah, there'll be something else. There will be. Alright, golly, you are really great. I appreciate you doing this. I'm going to go now and eat some breakfast and prepare for recording at one o'clock with Dr. Paul salad. Dini Sala I should figure out how to say his name before Saladino. Okay. He is an MD, who has a book about eating carnivore. And I think I'm going to use it to his recording to add to the how we eat ideas. I've got a few recorded now and I want to add nice.

Bella 1:14:36
I'm excited for those. I think those will be interesting.

Scott Benner 1:14:38
I have a good one that's plant based. That's recorded already. I have a keto one that's recorded already. This one will be you know, carnivore, he doesn't have type one. But I'm making an exception here because he's a sort of an expert in the fields. Want to hear if that makes sense. Yeah, but I'm dying. I leave I'm leaving this in your episode. Because if if you have a specific way of eating that you can really Talk about the highs and lows and the benefits of please let me know because I want I want more of that on the show.

Bella 1:15:07
Yeah, I mean, I am a vegetarian, but I don't think my diets that special.

Scott Benner 1:15:14
Are you like a vegetarian? Like you really eat vegetables? Are you a vegetarian? Like you're gonna have like a pop tart now when you get done?

Bella 1:15:21
No, I eat I go through phases, but I eat pretty good, generally speaking, like, I had an apple and a banana, and some peanut butter for breakfast, but I and I read the mastering diabetes book. And I thought that was great. Cool. But also, it's hard to cut out fat completely. So, you know,

Scott Benner 1:15:44
I think it's hard to do anything completely. Yeah. And I think that there are a lot of people who have like, there's a way to eat, there's a way to eat, it seems to me like it would be very difficult to keep that going forever. And maybe I think so maybe it wouldn't be for some people. But, you know, I listen, I made a decision. On today's Thursday, I made a decision last Friday that I was going to cut carbs out for a week, just to kind of reset myself because my body begins to hold, retain water. If I have Yeah, I have too many carbs. I'm seven pounds lighter today than I was last Friday.

Bella 1:16:20
That's wild. But carbs are so thick. We need carbs. I don't know

Scott Benner 1:16:25
if we need them or not Bella, because I'm not like, like the knower of everything. But what I can tell you is I want a piece of bread so badly.

Bella 1:16:33
Oh, I know. I bet I had I had garlic bread last night with my dinner. So I understand that I had

Scott Benner 1:16:41
a cheeseburger last night without a roll. And as horrible I was like, this is like I'm gonna beat this out. But I was like, this is like having, right No, I'm not gonna be no.

Bella 1:16:50
Yeah, no, that's disgusting. It's so

Scott Benner 1:16:53
like, just I'm just gonna do this, but I'm not nothing about it was enjoyable.

Bella 1:16:58
Yeah, I can't imagine eating a burger without a bun. Well, mine would be a fake hamburger, which is also horrible for you. But I don't eat those all the time.

Unknown Speaker 1:17:08
All right, well,

Scott Benner 1:17:09
I'll get a vegetarian on at some point. I thought I had one that I missed. But

Bella 1:17:12
well, if you ever need one, I do. Like I could talk about it. But I don't know what I would. I don't know, I would have to think about what I actually know. Yeah, I have

Scott Benner 1:17:20
been a vegetarian for like four years. So I have some time. You know, I had someone come on and record a whole episode about being low carb and and called me or sent me a message four days later and said, don't run that episode. I did not do justice to the idea of low carb eating. Oh, so I am gonna be very careful to make sure that I have people that really feel like they can can articulate the position. You know what I mean? Yeah,

Bella 1:17:42
I don't know what I would say. Oh, I'd have to think it over.

Scott Benner 1:17:45
No more. Don't know what I'm gonna say. Bella, if you want to be back on again. Okay. Okay. All right. Good. So I go enjoy your day. And thank you so much for doing this.

Bella 1:17:54
Thank you. Thank you for your time. I really appreciate it.

Scott Benner 1:17:56
I appreciate it. Take care.

Unknown Speaker 1:17:58
Okay, well have a great day. You too.

Scott Benner 1:18:05
A huge thank you to one of today's sponsors. Je Vogue glucagon, find out more about chivo Kibo pen at G Vogue glucagon.com forward slash juice box, you spell that GVOKEGL Uc ag o n.com. forward slash juicebox. I'd also like to thank the Contour Next One blood glucose meter for sponsoring this episode. Learn more at Contour Next one.com forward slash juice box. There are links to these and all the sponsors at Juicebox Podcast comm or if you're listening in a podcast app in the show notes of your app, they're right there. Thanks for listening. Thanks for subscribing, where you're listening. Thanks for telling friends about the podcast. Thanks for leaving great reviews where you listen, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I really appreciate it. And that's pretty much it. All right. Thank you, I guess Bella? Yeah, I did everything I meant to do. I'll see in the next one.