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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome to episode 879 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Today, I'll be speaking with Melissa, who is a preschool teacher and the mother of a child with type one diabetes. We talk about many things. We laugh, we sing. Well, we don't sing, but we laugh, and we talk, you're going to love it. While you're listening. Please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. Please Always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan, or becoming bold with insulin. If you're a US resident who has type one diabetes, or is the caregiver of someone with type one, the T one D exchange is very interested in your answers to simple survey questions. You can take that survey AT T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juicebox and will not take long 10 minutes ish. And it helps type one diabetes research move forward. You can do all that right there from your house. T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juicebox. If you'd like to get 35% off of some cozy sheets and joggers and other stuff, check out cozy earth.com and use juicebox at checkout to save 35% Speaking of saving money, Oh, hold on. If you use my link, better help.com forward slash juice box you will save 10% off your first month of therapy. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Omni pod. Omni pod of course makes the Omni pod dash and that wonderful Omni pod five. Check it out at Omni pod.com You too can wear the same tubeless insulin pump that my daughter has been wearing since she was four years old. There are links in the show notes of the podcast player you're listening in right now. And links at juicebox podcast.com to Omni pod BetterHelp cozy Earth Dexcom all the sponsors, check them out.

Melissa 2:17
My name is Melissa. I live in a town in Wisconsin. Which side note I've heard you've never been to Wisconsin Scott. Even though your brother lives in this state.

Scott Benner 2:29
I knew you lived in Wisconsin, because already pronounce some words very oddly. So I was

Melissa 2:36
Oh no. Oh, I was hoping my accent wouldn't come out.

Scott Benner 2:39
I could have said Wisconsin when you started. I was I was I almost stepped on you and said Wisconsin I think so.

Melissa 2:46
And so my town has about 27,000 people in it. And we are like I'm right on the tip of Lake Superior. Like the lake is eight blocks from my house. So and right across the bridge, which takes about five minutes. I'm in Minnesota. So that's how close I am. And that's probably why you will hear the Wisconsin slash Minnesota accent come out. Especially being just a little nervous. But yeah, so I am a preschool teacher in. And I'm going to be starting my 12th year doing this. So I work with four and five year olds. I have some kids at the beginning of the year that literally were three a couple of days before I meet them. And I have kids that start with me that are already five because families have chosen to maybe wait a little bit keep them at home for an extra year. Things like that.

Scott Benner 3:43
Gotcha. That's the those are the people who think their kids are going to play football in the NFL one day, right?

Melissa 3:49
Yeah, usually that is the case. They could only hope right? I have a 12 year old son named Riker and I have a nine year old daughter named Reese. And Reese is our type one warrior.

Scott Benner 4:02
You know, making me wonder what Rikers Island is named after.

Melissa 4:06
I know, I didn't even know. The only correlation I had before we named him was. I can't it wasn't Rikers Island. It was something else. Oh, we were on vacation in Mexico. And there was this kid. And he was like super brave and jumping in the water. And, you know, like two years old and not a fear in the world. And we were like, what's his name? And it's the first time my husband and I had ever heard that name. So we're like, oh, we like that. And it went it flowed well with our last name. So that's why we went with that.

Scott Benner 4:37
Are you German? Do German

Melissa 4:40
My husband has some German but it had nothing to do that. I didn't even know that was a German name.

Scott Benner 4:47
Listen, I'm not I don't want to put it out there but nobody google it because

Melissa 4:54
I do know what Rikers Island is. afterwards.

Scott Benner 4:57
Yeah. Anyway,

Melissa 5:01
And we do have a golden doodle named Riggs, which also was not named after Mel Gibson's character in that movie. So

Scott Benner 5:08
we're because that's what I thought when you said it. So, what was that name from then?

Melissa 5:13
Ironically, we knew we were getting. You're talking about the dog, right? Yeah. I

Scott Benner 5:17
don't care about your kids. Mr. Riggs? Yeah. Okay, that's

Melissa 5:19
fine. Yes, we sometimes I don't care about the kids, either. The dog is my priority. He's the only one that listens really well. So he we knew we were getting a puppy. And we knew we wanted to be an R to go along with our kids names. And my husband actually had a dream. But the night before we went to get the dog that our son went up to him and said, Dad, I think his name should be Riggs. And my husband woke me up to tell me that and I was like, well, there you have it. So that's where we went with with that

Scott Benner 5:49
good enough. Yeah, I I dreamt last night about subway. So this sandwich, you got to go to Subway. No, I don't want to go my my daughter's friend is going away to college. This kid lives off of subway. And she likes it as if it was good. I don't know how to explain it the way she thinks it's like cuisine. Right? And not fast food. Right? And then she goes, she's going to college in England. Oh, wow. And I said, What, uh, you know, you have everything worked out and she's like, she just doesn't even skip a beat. She's like MR. BENNER. There's a subway five minute walk from where my dorm is gonna be. And then she goes, I mean, my flat and I went, Okay,

Melissa 6:27
so Oh, that was the deciding factor. I

Scott Benner 6:30
think it might have been all she cared about if I'm being perfectly honest. So

Melissa 6:34
yeah, my son loves subway. And it's all he gets his Turkey pickles, red onions and ranch. And that's it.

Scott Benner 6:42
I don't want to say something that I'm wrong about. But I think all of subways meats are the same, like, the same conglomeration and they just like, this one's turkey. This one's chicken. But it all starts the same. I know. You'd have to look that up. I could be wrong. So let's hope

Melissa 6:57
because I feed my kid that everyone's

Scott Benner 7:02
Turkey flavoring in that one in the ham flavoring in that one. And let's get I don't know, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's the thing I heard on the internet. The internet's not right. I reserve the right to not know anything,

Melissa 7:11
which is what the internet the internet's not always right. Is that what you're saying? Listen,

Scott Benner 7:16
I hear things, you know. So okay, so I'm sorry. So your kid that has diabetes is how old?

Melissa 7:23
She is nine, nine. She turned Well, nine and a half now.

Scott Benner 7:27
And it was, you know, I find myself just randomly wanting to guess a name that starts with our Did you say Riley? No, Reese Reese. Okay. Was that after the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie or No? No. Because I don't know what people are doing over there. You know, it gets it gets cold there. People get confused.

Melissa 7:47
Very, very. Yes. It's a beautiful day out today, though, thankfully.

Scott Benner 7:51
Is it? It's not like sweltering hot the way it gets there in the summertime for no reason.

Melissa 7:55
No, it's there's a nice breeze. It's probably about 65 or so right now. Wow. Yeah.

Scott Benner 8:00
My son came up to me the other day. And he goes, Hey, seriously, people in Wisconsin. They go ice fishing. And I was like, yeah, and he goes like, really? Like, it's not just the thing that happened one time, like people do it. And I was like, yeah, and he looked really confused and washed away from it. I was like, alright.

Melissa 8:16
He needed a moment to process. He's just like,

Scott Benner 8:18
so they go out onto the NIT, we talked about it for a second. And I said, this is one of these deals, they have to be incredibly bored. So boring. For the packers to play leave their bits. We're trying to pass the time. Alright, so Reese is how old I'm sorry. She's nine and a half. Okay, nine and a half and how far how long ago was she diagnosed?

Melissa 8:41
Actually sunwell she has two different diagnosis days, which I can explain that later. But it'll be three years on on Sunday slash Monday, three

Scott Benner 8:51
years. Okay. So six and a half years old. She was just in first grade when it happened.

Melissa 8:57
She, we were going into first grade. Yes. Well, we as in her, well, kind of weak because we I work in the same building as the school that she goes to so yep. So she was and then we did seven months of first grade. And then this thing called COVID happened. And we were back at home. So we had seven months of management and getting ready to go into first grade trying to get all of our ducks in a row with this new diagnosis.

Scott Benner 9:29
So it's education week here on the podcast. So yeah, awesome. Well, I just had a teacher on who was also the child of a student that goes to the same school. Um, yeah,

Melissa 9:42
I listened yesterday. It's a good one.

Scott Benner 9:44
So that was that one's up. What you don't know is that in between there I recorded with a principal from Alaska whose child has type one diabetes today I'm recording with you. If tomorrow is another teacher, I'm going to lose because I don't plan any of this like so it's I I'm assuming People aren't like, people aren't like surprised anymore. And they hear I don't plan things, but like I didn't do this on purpose.

Melissa 10:06
Oh, that's just things happen for a reason.

Scott Benner 10:09
I don't know. We'll find out. I can tell you one thing, that after I was done recording with the principal, she told me a story that I can't repeat. That was amazing. It was so good. It was so good. And interesting and bizarre and all the things that you want out of a story that I cursed that are afterwards I said, I was like, damn you for not for not selling this on the podcast. She's like, I can't tell this on the podcast. I was like, Well, no, obviously you can't. But I was like, it's amazing. So oh, it all wander forever when she told me but I can't tell you. Terrific, though. You'll never guess. So don't bother Melissa, don't bother conjuring something up in your head. You're not even going to be close. So

Melissa 10:51
I already got my brain gears going here. So like, so you're telling me that I'm never going to know the story. I can guess the story. But it's an awesome story.

Scott Benner 10:59
And you will and you Yeah, that's 100%. Right. There's no if I if you and I just spent the rest of this hour. And you said to me, I'm just gonna guess broad themes of the story. I don't think you come close to it. So anyway, DM her

Melissa 11:17
principles,

Scott Benner 11:18
she could have just come on. And honestly, I told the story would have been amazing. But no, it's okay. It's still very good episode, then the less you are so you teach. So you teach preschool? Yes. Do you teach it in a public system? Or you teach it in a private facility?

Melissa 11:34
It's a public system. Yes. So like my elementary all the elementary schools in my city, we have six of them are all pre K through five.

Scott Benner 11:44
Okay, so you're like a, like a certified? Teacher? Oh,

Melissa 11:49
yes. I, I have a bachelor's in elementary education with a minor in early childhood. And I'm nationally board certified as of December of 2019. And I actually just finished and got my master's of education through a university in Wisconsin. And I finished that in November. So when

Scott Benner 12:11
you say preschool around here, my expectation is baby sitting with letters and numbers. Oh, if only Yeah, that's so but this is like a structured? Like I know, they pretend that they're gonna be bad mouthing people. I love everyone. No one get upset. Okay. But, but I felt like, preschool in my area was like parking your kid like it was a candle. I thought it was just a

Melissa 12:37
doggy drop off.

Scott Benner 12:38
You're like, Where can I leave this living thing? Where when I come back, it'll still be alive. That's like how I looked at it. And then whatever happens to it while it's there? Like, let's just hope the cops don't have to come. You don't? I mean? Yeah, yes, cross your fingers. That is not your job?

Melissa 12:53
Not at all. Actually, no, I would say like, you're describing kind of like a childcare facility. But even our childcare facilities in our city, have some structure and you know, guidelines and things that they have to adhere to. And then we actually just recently started a 3k program in my school district. So those are, like, you know, three year olds that it is primarily to support families with child care, but it's also in a school building, structured, licensed teachers, that kind of thing. And then when we get to my position, which is also called the Community preschool, and then, but we call it 4k, for short. It's like four year old kindergarten. But yeah, I'm in the school building. You know, my kiddos, get to see the building, that they're going to be in kindergarten. And it's so exciting. And my kids come for just a half day. But so I have a group of 18 kids that come in the morning, then I have my lunch and my prep time. And then I have a different group of 18 kids that come in the afternoon, and then I do the same thing with those kids that I did with the morning kids.

Scott Benner 14:07
Oh, wow. You should just record yourself in the morning, then play it for the kids in the afternoon.

Melissa 14:11
Wouldn't that be amazing? I could just sit back and drink some coffee. But that's the thing. You can plan the best you can but different kids have different needs. And so, you know thing happens and they have to adjust. Yeah.

Scott Benner 14:26
Well, I would imagine that two halves of the same day, even with the same plan, very infrequently go the same.

Melissa 14:33
I agree. Yes. Interesting.

Scott Benner 14:35
So did you teach your own children?

Melissa 14:39
I did not. When, when my son was at when he was in 4k when he was age eligible for that. I did my first five years I actually taught for K at our local YMCA it was this I had to do the exact same thing that the district teachers had to do. I was just working in our YMCA building. And then he was passed for K. I believe it was his kindergarten year actually as when I applied for the district. And then and then Reese came along and when she came along, it was like her and I are like, no, she cannot be in my classroom, we would fight all the time.

Scott Benner 15:24
You're painting a lovely picture of motherhood.

Melissa 15:28
You know, there has to be the line that you draw the whole, you know, but I just I don't I just don't think it would have been what's best for me professionally for her personally for her girl. How is that better?

Scott Benner 15:40
Sure, you would have gotten fired and she would have ended up with a broken arm? I understand. So before we ask about Reese's diagnosis and get into that, I need you to explain to me why people from your part of the country, talk about those lakes as if they're an ocean. And they're the same thing when they're clearly not. And I don't know what you're talking about. Why does that happen? Is it because it's all you have? Is the lake? Is that why? What do you see what I'm saying?

Melissa 16:07
I think I get what you're asking. Just like it's just something that is like literally in my backyard. And a lot of things that happen to us are depicted sometimes by this big body of water. And when you stand and look at it, it looks as though it's as far as an ocean because I'm near the largest of the Great Lakes so but you know, people joke and call it old, the giant air conditioner turned on because we could have an 85 degree day and within a second the wind switches and then it drops to like 55 And you're like well, we're not going to the beach now. So

Scott Benner 16:48
kind of like one of the one of those redneck air conditioners with the cooler in it where you just fill it with ice and and blow air. Exactly. The wind blows over top of the of the lake. Yes. cools everything.

Melissa 17:00
Yes, yes. But well, it depends on the day and it depends how many days in a row.

Scott Benner 17:07
Have you ever been to the ocean? Yes. Okay. So you have context because sometimes I hear people have never seen an ocean like it's just like the ocean like he ever saw that. Okay, so is it just like the ocean?

Melissa 17:20
I don't think so at all. I was actually just in Mexico in March and it's not even close. I know being on vacation without my children made me probably appreciate the ocean a lot more. But, but no, like, the field is different. The swimming is different. The fear of sharks totally different. So

Scott Benner 17:40
yeah, they ought to put like a big like a fish in that lake that doesn't belong there. We'll see what happens. Oh, that would be fun. Like in 50 years, if they'll just take over. I don't think like by the way, no one do that. That's a bad idea. But it ruined Florida. There's snakes everywhere. And you know, just people buying these little like boa constrictors like Oh, they're so cute. And then one day they're like, I don't know what to do with this. They just throw it in the ground and they're everywhere.

Melissa 18:05
Oh, my gosh, danger noodles.

Scott Benner 18:10
Are you trying to do the podcast? You're you're trying to try? Because if you're trying to name the episode, you're winning so far.

Melissa 18:21
I don't count myself my sister and I've my sister calls them Nope. ropes. And I say danger noodles.

Scott Benner 18:27
Are you talking about penises or snakes? What are you doing?

Melissa 18:31
Snakes? For sure.

Scott Benner 18:32
That's when you said your sister said No probs. I was like our sisters gay. I get it.

Melissa 18:38
She is not. She's very afraid of snakes.

Scott Benner 18:43
I don't like a snake either. And I mean, the kind that they crawl on the ground. I guess. I mean, the other kind to, but I wasn't talking about that. Because just for clarity. But none of that matters one way or the other. My my Yeah. You wouldn't care. Mostly you wouldn't care about this podcast if I was gay, right? Like it'd be fine. Still? No, not at all. Yeah, I don't think that

Melissa 19:06
accepting of all people who do love all people

Scott Benner 19:08
from the middle of the country, you pull that off. So it's pretty amazing. Because yeah, right. Because you've ever been to a museum. All right. It was one of the you know, one of the things when my wife and I were thinking about where to live. I can't bless young people like in our 20s. We thought well, one of the reasons we want to stay here is because of the culture. And it's so readily available and accessible and varied. And then you start raising a kid and I don't care how hard you try, like you can't. I think I got my kids to a museum like twice when they were little. You know what I mean? Yeah, and Sam, that's it like Monet paintings came through and we're like, alright, well, let's go see these. They walked around and a half an hour into it. They're like, can we go?

Melissa 19:57
Totally over it.

Scott Benner 19:58
I'm like we bought a house. was here so that you'd have access to the never yell Let's go. Bunch of stuff. We're gonna be important that wasn't

Melissa 20:09
that didn't work out very well. At least you tried though you made the effort. That's good.

Scott Benner 20:13
I do have an amazing Monet cutting board though from from that.

Melissa 20:19
See? Totally worth it right

Scott Benner 20:20
there. Think of Claude Monet new his, his art was put on cutting boards. Do you think he'd be like, Wow, that's cool. They remember me all these years later, or do you think you'd be like this sacrilege? Like what are you doing?

Melissa 20:33
I think he would be like, let's put it on everything. mousepads like, let's just roll with it.

Scott Benner 20:38
You just be a big pimp. It'd be like, can we get these on flip flops? All right. Okay. All right. That's enough. You've got me. You're catching me. I just had an iron infusion in my irons coming back up again. So I'm in a weird spot between tired and enter chest. Oh, no. That's uncomfortable. Right? Don't make sense. Which is fantastic. Probably great for the podcast. But for me personally, it's

Melissa 21:03
Hey, I teach preschool. Lots of nonsense stories that are fun.

Scott Benner 21:09
Are you comparing me to a four year? Not at all. You probably should. Alright, so how old is a recent six and a half but she's diagnosed? How does it present

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Melissa 24:23
So she It was summertime. We were really busy. We she loves water. I wouldn't I still can't say that. Oh, she was drinking excessively the biggest thing for us was the bedwetting which she was potty trained. You know, during obviously she's six and a half over during the day but consistently, like she still needed a pull up at night. And then it got to the point that she was soaking through it and sheets and I you know, and it was actually I had two days of I'm Steph development training and I dropped my kids off with my mom for the first day, didn't see them in between. And then they went with my sister the second day. So then fast forward, it's a Wednesday. And my mom, my mother in law, and I were painting my bedroom. And, you know, they said, you know, Reese is just not her usual, bright and wonderful self. She was a little lethargic. You know, and like, we love her. She's a very free spirit cut, we lovingly call her our little gypsy girl, like, she's just happy go lucky. So it was very clear that something was off. And so I remember sitting down with her and being like, what's going on, and she really, she was six and a half, she couldn't really articulate her feeling. And she didn't see specifically like, Oh, I feel really crummy. And she had just gone to Hayward with my in laws. They do that every summer. And, you know, I'm a teacher, and I know, these warning signs that you look for when something traumatic has happened. So that crossed my mind, I was like, you know, did anything happen? In that you were uncomfortable when you went camping? And she said, No, not at all. And so it was time for their wellchild checks. So I emailed their pediatrician and kind of said the same things I just said to you, and, and her response was, you your email, literally is like, I could be reading it out of a textbook about juvenile diabetes. And she said, You need to take her in now. And I was like, Oh, okay. I remember getting the or I got the email from her went to Menards. Because I was had to pick out curtains for my new walls in my bedroom. And she called me and said the same thing she goes, You need to go in. And this is this part of the story, why she has a little kind of two different diagnosis days, because I went home, got her daughter to the local hospital that's in my, my town. And they did some blood work. And you know, everything came back that that's what it was. And I remember taking the moment that every parent needs when you're presented with something like this. And I turned and I faced the wall. And I cried for about 30 seconds. And then I turned around and I was like, Alright, let's do this. And so, you know, me knowing nothing about the disease we have we neither side of the family have anything. No. Autoimmune, no Hashimotos nothing on either side. So I'm like, I don't know, what do I do now? And they're like, Well, we have to call an ambulance. And I'm like, Well, what. And she loved it. By the way. She had the black, she had a blast on her hospital stage. She loved the ambulance ride. She reminisces about it quite often.

Scott Benner 27:55
If only I can be diagnosed with something else and get back to that hospital.

Melissa 28:00
CRC. She's like, I got food. I got to watch TV and lay around all day. So that it's kind of like we were at my town's hospital. And the ambulance came and got us, you know, somewhere around 1145 at night. So by the time we got over to the Minnesota hospital that's across the bridge five minutes away, and got, you know, her admitted and everything like that. And in the PICCHIO. She, it had crossed to the next day. So to me taking her to our hospital in our city. It was July 31. But like when we go to her endocrinologist in the other city, they always say August 1 was her diagnosis day.

Scott Benner 28:47
I say, Well, I figured out what Menards is while you were talking.

Melissa 28:52
Oh, save big money.

Scott Benner 28:54
Everything's 11% off for the next three days, actually.

Melissa 28:57
Oh, if I had a nickel every time I did a rebate, I wouldn't need the rebate, but it's pretty nice.

Scott Benner 29:02
So it's like a home store.

Melissa 29:05
Like yeah, your paint and lumber and build like pretty much anything that you ever could want for your house. You just go to Menards

Scott Benner 29:14
Do you have a home? Do you have Home Depot near you?

Melissa 29:17
In that other city? That's right across the bridge? Yes, we have a home for

Scott Benner 29:20
those are similar kinds of businesses. Yes, gotcha. Yes. Do you think people right now are like wow, she told that really amazing story about her child's diagnosis and he asked about Home Depot Menards as a follow up, they're just like, what now? Just listen, trust me. Okay, you need a second. It's a sad story. And and it's, I mean, it's nice that the kid was upbeat, but really it's a bummer like you know Yeah, it's crazy that she even remembers it. I mean, I'm glad she doesn't have a bad memory about it but it's interesting that that how she recalls it so was she not I guess not in decay obviously when you guys Yeah, no, she was she was she she was just still love that every men love it.

Melissa 30:01
Yeah, she was like, that's I told you she's my free spirit gypsy happy go lucky kind of gal except when she wants to argue with me. And then like, there's a little switch that flips, but that's okay.

Scott Benner 30:11
I was really fascinated when you said that the way she looked made you ask her if she had been assaulted?

Melissa 30:18
Yeah, well, and yes, or, you know, like just something uncomfortable that could have happened to her. Because, you know, as a teacher, you are trained to look for those types of things. And regression of toileting is actually a sign of something traumatic that has happened, you know, and I, you know, there's probably hundreds of people at the campground that she was with, and, you know, and when you're with somebody 24/7 Like, I have that mom guilt every once in a while, especially right now, when all these pictures come up on time, hop from that time, and I'm just like, what, how did I not see, you know, I've forgiven myself for that, very quickly. I forgive myself, because when you don't know about something, and even if it's right in your backyard, if you don't know what to look for, there's nothing that you can do to, you know, feel. Be mad at yourself about it. Yeah, you know, she was really thin. I remember her playing soccer that year, and she would get so tired. And she is I laugh because it's something she would do normally, like she would in the middle of a soccer game, she would run over to me at the on the sidelines and be like, Mom, I'm thirsty. But she was doing that so much. And there was one that she she actually threw up during her soccer game. And I was like, Oh my gosh, like, what did we get? I was like, mortified. And looking back, I'm like that poor little honey. Like what was actually going on with her little body at the time. But she was so positive all the time and didn't complain about anything that I had no idea.

Scott Benner 31:52
No. Well, it's I think it's great that you were able to just say, look, how would I can't hold myself accountable for something I didn't know about? So

Melissa 32:00
yeah, I and I had, I had to make myself do that. You know, I'm, like I said, I look at those pictures. And I'm like, uh, because she was she was very thin. But also she was growing. She's really tall for her age. Like I wrote down her stats, she's actually four foot six and a half. She's in like, like 94th percentile for height and stuff like that. So I was like, oh, growth spurt. She's thirsty, because it's been a hot summer, that kind of thing. So

Scott Benner 32:27
you know what I just heard for people who write me still and complain that I make fun of soccer. A child can leave a soccer game to get a drink while it's happening. And it doesn't impact the game at all. So

Melissa 32:40
yes, I am a witness of that.

Scott Benner 32:42
Literally take a player off the field and doesn't even matter. Especially at age six. Yes. Yeah. So you keep defending keep defending your soccer. It's okay.

Melissa 32:50
Yes. I did play soccer in high school.

Scott Benner 32:54
I love Ted lasso. But you know, it doesn't doesn't change the story you just told. I'm telling you. If the catcher runs off the field during a baseball game, you got to stop playing.

Melissa 33:03
Yeah, there's things that won't happen if the catcher has gone for sure.

Scott Benner 33:08
All right. Anyway, so I'm sure she wasn't. was give me one second. For disclaimer. I wrote. Please don't write me about soccer being great. Please, please. I just don't care. You just listen if you love it, I love it. My nephew plays in college. He seems very happy. Good for you

Melissa 33:32
will actually get mad at you. Oh

Scott Benner 33:33
my god. Nobody likes it. We can make fun of soccer. I've tried I sat and watched it. I've gone to live games. I see. It looks like pinball with people running after the pinball to me. Yeah, giant Tea Parties just they're just like, there's the ball and they run over there and then nothing happens. Then they run over there and then nothing happens. And then they kick the ball and eight. Listen, I I've never kicked the soccer ball with the intention of putting it somewhere. I imagine it's incredibly difficult. But the goal is so big.

Melissa 34:05
It's harder than you think. So

Scott Benner 34:07
I believe I believe all that Melissa but as an onlooker, it looks like you're trying to drive a truck through a bridge and you ran into a tree How did you miss that? It's so big. And anyway, I don't like to

Melissa 34:23
get into I have to ask you did you get into trouble making fun of curling in that one episode?

Scott Benner 34:28
I listen, I secretly love curling. I hope that came through. Oh,

Melissa 34:32
I did it did but um, well, I have to tell you the the captain of the USA team is like an acquaintance of mine. He's really Yeah, his son and Reese actually have been in class together every year since kindergarten except for this last year. So

Scott Benner 34:50
I'm, I'm fascinated by anything where some of the participants look like they're, you know, they're in CrossFit all day long and some of them look like they have hypertension. And it's all Oh, yeah, there's still just like, they're all just equally good at it. And I don't know, I want them. I want a version of curling where you have to like, balance a kitten on the thing while it slides like I want to see something, try to like, ride it like a surfboard. You know what I mean? Maybe not. Oh, yeah. Who knows? A Guana? That might work, right? Because they don't Yes, that would work. No, not they're too fast. What's the one that goes really slow? Chameleon? Oh, yes. They wouldn't be good with

Melissa 35:26
a cold though. All right, or like a bearded dragon.

Scott Benner 35:30
Again, I think you're just making payments references. But we're gonna we're going to I'm going to workshop this I think there's a way to spruce up curling?

Melissa 35:39
Oh, well, let me know. And I can I can let

Scott Benner 35:41
pass that on. Yeah, yes, absolutely. I don't know. They should just put some What if a hologram was on the stone? It would just be there's something there. I don't know. We don't have time right now. But no, I have not gotten crap about like, even as you say, like, I don't remember making fun. Listen, it might be hard for you to believe Melissa. I don't remember anything I've said on these buckets. Nothing whatsoever I get. I'll get like people come online and ask a question. And like, Thank God for Isabelle helping me now with the Facebook group so much, because I'll send her a text. And I'll be like, Did I did I say that? Like, did you know? And she she said, Well, you know, you don't remember that. And I was like, I don't I think I record like four of these a week. And then I don't hear them for six months. And then I you know, I put an edit on them. And I put them up again. I was like, I just I'm like, while you're listening to the podcast. I'm six months ahead of you. And so I just I don't and then you see what happened? Because we weren't recording it when you brought it up where you like this got messed up episode where where I re edited a really traumatic after dark episode. Like it got messed up in my filing system. So I had, I had had this incredible conversation with this woman. It was really it, she went through a lot of trauma, I mean stuff that like stuck with me really, sincerely. And then I put it up. And then I don't know, five months went by, and somehow the unedited RAW file ended up in the queue still. And when it and when I got to it, I just sat down and re edited it. And as I was listening to it, I was like, Oh my God, this story is incredible.

Melissa 37:28
Even when you listen to it a second time, it didn't spark that, like you had already done it. And listen,

Scott Benner 37:31
my iron was very low when it happened. So I'm gonna little blame that. But ya know, I mean, I remember I had all the same beats and all the same feelings, listening to it. And then I got it all done. I put it up and it was up for maybe two hours. And I got a note. I think from Isabel, she's like, I'm pretty sure you ran this episode already.

Melissa 37:53
Well, you can't be expected to remember everything you talk about with everybody. So

Scott Benner 37:57
but mostly I take your point. But that's why I'm using this as an example because this this was a grown woman who had been sexually assaulted by her own parents. Yeah. And that's how much content I hear is what I'm trying to say to you. Yeah, cuz I'm like, I could retell her story. Right now, if you needed me to. It just it stuck with me so much. And yet, when I was in, I was head down working like you guys don't know, like, there's some days, I'll get up in the morning. And I look at everybody and I go, I will see you at midnight. I edit like four or five episodes in a row. And so I just I'm head down powering through them. And I just got caught in a day like that. And I don't know if I got tired or what happened. Maybe I was just in one of those real weird worlds where I was just listening for noises and clicks and stuff that didn't make sense. And I wasn't really hearing it. I don't know. But

Melissa 38:48
you never know though. In that situation. I always like to think that what if somebody listened to it? In those two hours, you accidentally had it up, and you change their life and help them in some way?

Scott Benner 38:59
I did get a couple of notes. Nice notes about it. So hopefully, yeah, hopefully something like that happen. But anyway, my point is just that I don't know what the hell I say on this podcast. So when you're at home, like hammering away on your keyboard, you're like, dear Scott, soccer is uh, I don't I don't I don't even know if I mean, I don't like soccer. I can't tell anymore.

Melissa 39:20
The hate mail from the Trolls I soccer.

Scott Benner 39:23
Listen, it doesn't make sense to me. And I'm sure they feel the same way about things I like and it's fine. Go live your life. Just don't email me please. I don't care. I don't care. I'm gonna read your email. I'm gonna laugh then I'm gonna delete it. So. Anyway,

Melissa 39:38
so you did sound surprised that you didn't think Reese was in decay when she was diagnosed?

Scott Benner 39:43
Because she was so like, upbeat and like, This is amazing. You don't I mean? Yeah,

Melissa 39:48
well, and I almost almost don't want to tell you her stats. But the one the one blood sugar I remember is 786 And she her agency was 14.1. Yep, so that was July 31. And then, like I said, we hit the ground running. And when she had her November 11, a one see she was six, eight. So Wow. Yeah, we brought her down. She's fluctuated quite a bit, for various reasons. But one thing I am extremely pumped about is so sorry. So she diagnosed, you know, August 1 of 19. We had the Dexcom G six on her by September 14 of 2019. Omnipod dash went on October 1 of 2019. And we actually just started on the OP five and June 8, actually, the day after she finished school, you're done with school, and I'm like, That's it. Okay. We've been on the dash. I did the online training just myself. I didn't need to meet with anybody. It was really easy. Really simple. Got her on. We're on pod probably 13 right now. And so June eighth is when we put the first Omnipod five pod on. She had her next endo payment was June 13. And they're like, How's it go? And then I'm like, Well, it's been about a hot minute so I don't know yet. But she is the very first in our it's we have an area of because our our town in that Minnesota town are so close together that it's kind of we're kind of like a, you know, how they call the twin cities were something similar to that. And so she's the very first patient to be on the Omnipod five in our area. Oh, yeah.

Scott Benner 41:47
So we're interested. Yeah, trying to figure out what's going on. How are you exactly? How are you finding it to be?

Melissa 41:54
I absolutely love it. Like, I can't see it. I get it that like it might not work for everybody. Some people are seeing these wonderful numbers already with the dash. But even when it was almost coming out her endo is like she is a great candidate for this. And it's because she had so many unexplainable rises like early morning rises that Dawn phenomenon stuff. And it's it's like I've slept through the night. It's crazy. Like no low alarms. It's it's very It's very weird. I almost feel it like I wake up in a panic every once awhile like wait a second, I didn't wake up at all what's going on? But yeah, like her a one see at that appointment was actually eight four and I looked at how you know how sugar mate gives you like an estimated at the same time. That estimated that same day said eight, five, but now the sugar mate estimation, she's down to seven, seven, in just over a month.

Scott Benner 42:56
Okay. So where you would you can consider yourself struggling over the first couple of years? Or would you just how do you how would you how would you quantify how it's been going?

Melissa 43:09
Um, I don't I would say we would have struggling days struggling situations. You know, there's just there's so many variables and things to figure out and I feel her endos very cautious with where her ratios were at, you know, we run into the problem sometimes that she'll eat breakfast and we Pre-Bolus We have been since you know, I would say maybe even three months in we're like, okay, Pre-Bolus time, and like, she'll eat her breakfast, even if she wakes up at Sorry, I'm skipping around for you. But let's say the end of the school year, she wakes up and she's floating really nicely right around 110 120 somewhere around that area. Getting up by the time we are walking out the door for school. She's like 196 I'm like without eating anything. You know, that's that feed on the floor thing. Yeah. And then we get to school and we Pre-Bolus For what she's going to have for her breakfast, which is she eats at school for breakfast and and then so we correct that 196 Where she's sitting at plus eat, then she starts climbing up, then she doesn't have enough time to come down before her 1140 lunch or lunch. So So then it's like, Oh, good. She's starting to come down from breakfast here. But now lunch is making her go right back up. So that's the struggle that we had had maybe the last three, four months of school. And since the Omnipod five like I were having some of the meal spikes and but she's not going above like To 50 to 70, somewhere around there after eating, and then I just hit her with a correction and try to teach the system like, Nope, no, no, no, we don't like her there. Get her down, please. So

Scott Benner 45:11
it's just it's so interesting to hear different people's definitions of good. Just as a basic example, like, you know, if you I'm not even talking about all the part five at this point, like, like, it's just, it's interesting, like you said, you know, she's gotten a one C in the sevens, you're really happy with that? I think that's terrific. And I think there are people would hear that and think, wow, seven, how did you do that? I can't get out of the nines. And I can't get out the eights. And there are people who have a five and a six, seven. Why is it you're not getting it lower? Like I think I think it would be heard by people in different situations differently. And that's why I asked like, so. Is your expectation? Meet meeting your results right now? Or do you have more? Like, do you feel like you want more? And you're getting to it? Or are you happy with where you are?

Melissa 46:05
I guess no, my mentality is if I can get her from an eight, five to a SEVEN, SEVEN in a month, that I will be able to get her down in the fives.

Scott Benner 46:15
Okay, excellent. It's just really, I mean, the whole thing's I mean, diabetes is just a it's a giant pain in the ass. Like, I don't know if it really is. I don't know if I've ever just said that out loud or not before, but it's not great. And I just assumed everyone knew. But at the same time, it's so she gets out of bed and she sees 190 Before food. Yeah. And does that happen every day like clockwork?

Melissa 46:41
It was and we, that's a that's one of the reasons why our endo was like this, when this Omnipod five rolls out, it's going to be great for that situation, along with many others. But then, and there was some adjustments to basil too. But then when the basil adjusted, like, you know, it's always like, turn this turn this little dial this way, but then bump this, this switch up, and you know, all those little tweaks and things that you have to do and then test out and I was one that, you know, let them make the decisions. And I change all of the information in her PDM. And, and then we have to write it out and see if it works. Because some days with the specific settings, it wouldn't happen. But it was getting to the point, the majority of the time it was happening, where when I I emailed and I said we need to adjust her her morning, basil. And I can't remember offhand, like if we actually tried it to see if it would work. And then she kept crashing. So we just we weren't winning that battle. But now Now it's now it's great.

Scott Benner 47:48
So what is when she wakes up in the morning now and her blood sugar tries to go up on Omnipod? Five, where's it making it to?

Melissa 47:55
For instance, this morning, I woke up. It was my husband would get up for work. And about quarter after five. And I looked at her number. And I was like, Oh, I think she was like 165. And I went in and did a correction. And even like, I was doing some corrections where it was like 1.8 units, but this was a point one, five. And sometimes it'll say like, Nope, you're not doing a correction. And I'm like, but she's not where I want her to be. So I'll put one in manually too. Okay.

Scott Benner 48:28
I just heard you say getting out of bed at five o'clock. And I thought you guys gotta get a podcast. That's terrible. Like getting up better.

Melissa 48:34
Just Oh, I went right back to bed. Don't worry. Like my husband. My husband is he has insomnia. And like one little thing will wake them up. That's I had to get a smartwatch so that if her alarms go off, my watch buzzes to wake me up. And so I I'm the primary caregiver, which is probably a good thing. My husband is a brilliant man. He's like, he's like, I will do it. Anytime you need help. You need to just ask me, but you know that you're going to be like, you do it, but not like that. I'm like, Yeah, you're probably right.

Scott Benner 49:12
I just I don't I oh my god, I'm baffled by getting up at five o'clock in the morning for work. I would I would change my entire life to make that stop. Oh, yes.

Melissa 49:21
See what I can do. He says craft beer. Really? Yeah.

Scott Benner 49:29
drinkers are up that early. Making business?

Melissa 49:32
Oh, yeah. Well, because he's he his accounts consist of liquor stores and bars and our town and some surrounding areas as well. Yeah, but I always joke that we're our jobs are on completely opposite ends of the spectrum. Craft beer preschool teacher.

Scott Benner 49:51
I just, my brother was saying something the other day about his job. I was like, you gotta get a podcast. I was like, That's horrible. And everyone knows I'm kidding. He's laughing and he's like, Yeah, that's what I'll do. He's Like, I'll get a podcast and I was like, that'll pay my bills. And I was like, it's working for me. And he's like, Yeah, sure. He also works for you and a handful of other people. He's like, if I started a podcast, no one's gonna listen to it. I was like, I'm just kidding. You shouldn't, you should do it. Really. It's all I was really running this printing press and you know, Wisconsin, and I'm like, you know, if your back hurts, have you thought of podcasting

Melissa 50:23
about running a printing press? People would be interested,

Scott Benner 50:27
I can't the only thing he listened. My brother told me a story once about a guy he worked with, that ended with two drunk men drunk driving an RV that didn't have a seat for the driver. So they were sitting on stacks of beer, have cases of beer as a seat, and then they crashed into a restaurant. Oh, my God, the cops came in one of them got shot in the leg. And my brother's like, so this guy's telling me this story at work yesterday. And all I could think was like, where did I move to? Like, what happened?

Melissa 51:00
A great episode of a podcast right there.

Scott Benner 51:02
Oh, if I thought that guy could tell that story. I'd find him tell him. Look, I know you don't have diabetes, but I just need your for a half an hour, please. It's just and then my brother's like, I just use it the whole time. He's telling me sir, I'm thinking like, this guy is just full of it, you know? And he's like, and then sure enough in the paper, like two days later, the whole story was in the paper.

Melissa 51:21
It's like, Oh, my goodness, amazing.

Scott Benner 51:25
Anyway, that's why you have all these fish is what I'm thinking.

Melissa 51:29
I don't we don't have to oarfish and we actually we were Minnesota Viking fans and not Packer fans.

Scott Benner 51:37
Are you even allowed to say that? I don't think No,

Melissa 51:39
I don't know. Maybe not. Maybe you can edit that part out.

Scott Benner 51:43
Though. People will find you and they'll be like, listen, a lot of stupid stuff was said in that podcast. But then you said the Vikings and we have to come burn your garage down at the very least. I hope not. How bad is the cold? In your? Are you born there? Yes. Spartan Race in the in the in the middle of winter when it really hits? Do you think I gotta get out of here?

Melissa 52:07
I don't. My husband says it every year. Every year. He's like, Why? Why do we live here? And I say well, because I don't know. It's negative 50 degrees right now with the wind chill, and I just cracked an egg on her recycling bin. And in 10 minutes, it froze. And that's a great science project for my preschoolers to see. So that no, but a big thing is like our entire family is here. Like, you know, my dad actually passed away March 19. Here. Thank you. But you know, we have both sets of grandparents are here. Both of our sisters are here. You know, our entire family is here. And I was like, we moved to Florida and we'd love the weather. But then we'd be like, we have nobody to watch her kids for us. So

Scott Benner 52:54
yeah, I'm not saying Florida. I don't think I actually don't know where I'm staying anymore. Because it was 115 degrees in Texas the other day. So I don't know that there's anywhere to run to all of a sudden Yeah, that's that's no fun either. No, but it gets oddly hot where you are to?

Melissa 53:10
It does like for one day a year. Yeah, like I always say that our summers should be like July, August, September, or even, you know, even August, September, October, because we sometimes will have days in October where it's still 80 degrees. Yeah.

Scott Benner 53:29
It's really something it really is.

Melissa 53:30
And then, and then June, we jokingly call it January, because sometimes it's that cold out that you think it's actually January, but it's January.

Scott Benner 53:40
I don't understand what you're doing. My brother's still like, are you ever going to come here? Like, I

Melissa 53:45
don't think so. No, just come for that 180 degree day, you'll have a great time.

Scott Benner 53:49
My mom wants to go live there. And we're talking about it now. And just because Brian moved so long ago, and she's older. So she's like, let me like, let me ride this out where I see Brian more often. I was like, yeah, that's, that's fine, mom. So we're talking about how to get over there. Right now we're somewhere between here's our ideas, because my mom's at, she just beat cancer. And we don't think she can sit too long. We don't think putting on a plane is a great idea. Like we're trying to figure out what to do. So we're down to pulling her in a trailer just laying around some hay. That seems like a reasonable idea. And, and we want to, you know, part of us were like, well, we'll drive because then we're at least a little more in control. But still, if my 80 year old mom's like, I need the bathroom, like we still might have to drive miles to get to it. And you know, then she's gonna have to get out and walk and I'm like, I still don't think it's like, I don't think it's a great thing. And you just think wow, like how hard is it to move an older person like a great distance? I never thought about this before. So as we were joking about putting her on a trailer full of hay. I said, What if we rented like, a small RV, though? Yeah. And I was like, then we'd have a bathroom with us in a place where she could lay down And that's it. I'm like, I think that's the answer.

Melissa 55:03
Oh, that's a great idea. And you could stop and you know, see anything along the way that might spark your interest. And

Scott Benner 55:10
I've never slept in a Walmart parking lot. I would love to do that one time. You know, just to

Melissa 55:15
give it a rough salutely. It's fun. I've never done it either. So well, apparently,

Scott Benner 55:19
if you have an RV you're allowed to. So they allow RV parking overnight. I'm excited. I'm totally going to sleep in a Walmart parking lot, at least one time during this bucket list check. Yeah, just so I can say I did it. And because my bar is raised, obviously really high, as you can tell, and Oh, yeah. But I really think that might be the answer. And then my brother's like, we're going to drive it back then. Because my other brother lives out here. And I was like, Nah, man, let's find a place where we can run it one way and then we'll just fly back for like, he's like, Alright, I think I could do

Melissa 55:51
Yeah, like a U haul. Like the U haul. You drive it there and you leave it there. So gotta be something like that for Arby's. But there are other cities in Wisconsin that aren't that are farther away from the lake that are beautiful. A lot of the time my husband even like, he drives an hour out of town on a few days for his job. And he'll be he'll be like, it was 90 where I was, and I come into town and I watch it go to 70 and then to 55. And that's when he says the why do we live here kind of thing.

Scott Benner 56:21
Yeah, I agree with him. Tom. I agree. I would get the hell out of there very quickly. And I'd tell your family look, you come if you want. But that's it. I'm gone. I'm not putting on a one of those rabbit lined hats ever again. My wife got me one for Christmas once as a joke. I put it on in the living room, like on Christmas morning. And in 10 minutes. My body was so hot. I thought it was gonna pass out. And I was like, Oh, it does its job. God, I was like, what are those? Rabbits must be so warm.

Melissa 56:55
Yes, they are.

Scott Benner 56:58
So so now I you know, this thing that I looked at? And I was like, Well, who do I give this to? And that was taken out of the box. Now like, keep it in. If I'm working outside in the cold. I don't care how stupid I look. And I look very stupid in it. I put the keeps my whole body warm. It's amazing. Yes. Oh, that's awesome. Like putting a heater on your head. Alright, listen, let's let's so let's tell the people, let's let them in on it. Right? You panicked a little bit the other day because you were supposed to come on and talk about being a teacher in a place where your kid works. Or kid goes to school. And then you turn on the podcast and there's a woman on talking about it. And you were just like, I should probably not even come in.

Melissa 57:37
Well, I was like, Oh, crap. It was like the first thing I saw. And I was like, Oh, no. And to be honest, I didn't know. Like, what your turnaround time was or anything like that. So I was like, let's just check in to make sure. So

Scott Benner 57:52
the tone of your email was like, I thought, ooh, Melissa's backing out. That's what I thought when I saw it first, then I was like, No, she's just worried. So

Melissa 58:00
I was just looking for reassurance that it was all going to be okay. So

Scott Benner 58:02
is there anything that that you really want people to know that you've learned by being in that situation where your kid is in an education sense, but you're there? Like I guess you get the Seymour's my expectation?

Melissa 58:17
Well, um, yeah, so like, the overarching thing I think of is the quote from Maya Angelou, which is do the best you can until you know better than when you know better do better. And that kind of has encompassed the last three years. You know, with initial diagnosis, I'm like, I need to be there, I need to make sure everything is going the way it needs to be. We had a brand new school nurse coming in, and when you live in a small town, you know, you're connected to everybody. And our nurse that had just retired was actually the wife of my, I'm gonna say soccer again. Sorry. My soccer coach from high school. It was his wife. And they have a type one daughter, who was in her 30s at the time. So before I found out, she was retiring, I was like, Oh, that puts me in a mind so much at ease. She knows probably more than I do. About the care even though maybe not the technology piece, but and then I find out she's retiring and I was like, oh, no, so that just added to okay, what is this new nurse going to look like? And let's, I'll be honest, I feel very lucky in how everything works out with my job. I know. I've read and heard horror stories of school nurses that make decisions without asking and things like that. And that is absolutely not the case with our nurse. She She texts me like the littlest thing and then I'm going to be honest, like, you know, you know, I don't think you waited long enough to see if if that little bump like gets her going in the right direction. You You know, let's do it different this time. And she like I've, I collect the box that stays in the nurse's office at the end of the year. And I find notes that she takes because she's wanting to learn more and do better as well with her care. So you know, those first seven months after diagnosis, it was all hands on deck, my principal was whatever you need. Her kindergarten and first grade teacher, we we have something that's called looping. So kids get the same teacher for kindergarten and first grade. Studies have shown that it's like six weeks extra of you know, you don't lose six weeks of learning time because you already know your kids and where they're at right when you jump into first grade, so, but her kindergarten teacher is awesome. And ironically, my first date with my husband was in her childhood home. That's like, oh, wait, wait. Why? Yeah. So my husband and I met in 1997. Okay. And his buddy was on the basketball team with him. And his little sister is my daughter's kindergarten first grade teacher. Oh, so like, yeah, this first time that my husband and I hung out, was at their house. So like, that's just my point of house. How everybody knows everybody in my town.

Scott Benner 1:01:22
Well, let's say you've been filled up at the home of your child's teacher. Is that right?

Melissa 1:01:32
I said, we hung out Scott, we hung out.

Scott Benner 1:01:35
Okay. Well, you're, you're married now. So

Melissa 1:01:38
it was 15. And I was 17. We were

Scott Benner 1:01:41
listening. You took advantage of a young boy and you're teaching your kids teach yourself?

Melissa 1:01:51
No, come on. But so again, like everybody at our school is like, you just let us know what you need from us. You know, and with the help of the podcast and the Facebook group and support in our community, it's just I learned more. I learned, like, almost hate to admit this, but it was just last year that I learned that once you hit the button on the PDM, you can walk away for her entire second grade year.

Unknown Speaker 1:02:25
There holding her next to it. Yes.

Melissa 1:02:30
And I was like, Wait, hold on a minute, like so once I gave the instructions. What did

Scott Benner 1:02:34
you think the controller was doing? Do you think it was secretly talking to the pod going, keep going keep going a little farther, a little more?

Melissa 1:02:41
Exactly. With each tick of the bar. I was like, I was like, Alright, we gotta make sure everything goes in. And as you go.

Scott Benner 1:02:48
So you said your husband is smart. Now I don't know if I can even believe confrontation.

Melissa 1:02:53
He's, he's brilliant. He's brilliant. But, and, and then, you know, we all agreed in her 504 That we would make kind of like gametime decisions like with what's going on. Is this a nurse visit? Or is this a mom visit? What and her kindergarten classroom, literally 20 feet from my classroom, if her doors open, and my doors open, I could see her in her classroom. Then her second grade one was one over, so 20 feet, but a little bit more diagonal from my room. And it was, there's a moment in second grade when she walked in my door. And she goes mom, to the hairbrush. And I'm like, This is not diabetes related, you're missing instruction time, go back to class.

Scott Benner 1:03:45
Or you just stick a gum in a brush. Don't do it.

Melissa 1:03:48
And so I was noticing, you know, not that she was taking advantage. But again, that free spirit happy go lucky gal would maybe manipulate the system every once in a while and come over and she was like, but we're having a cupcake. And I'm like, You know what to do. So the biggest change when she went into third grade was she was now upstairs. At first I was like, Oh, I don't want her upstairs. But I'm like, no, no, I'm after the hairbrush incident. I was like, you're upstairs, it's fine. And just, you know, in the reality of it after these next two years, she's going to be at the middle school in a whole different building than I'm at and we have to get her prepared and ready. And the more independent she becomes with her care. You know, that I think the better both of us are going to feel. So when when my dad passed, I had two weeks where I was home. And as a family. We discussed that it was best for the kids to get back after just a couple of days. And so she was at school I was at home and I'm like well I'm not in any shape right now to go into that building and you know, I wasn't ready for that to get all those condolences and things from colleagues. So we came up with a system that I would put what her carb count was for her lunch in with her PDM. And my alarm would go off, I would text her teacher, and they would just, she would watch her putt just to make sure she doesn't transpose any numbers, you know, like 20 carbs and 82 carbs is a big difference. So, and then, so she started doing more of that independent care. And once I went back to work, I said, Do you want to keep doing that? And she was like, Yeah, I do. So it's she's got to feel comfortable, the more we know, you know, really great communication between everybody involved is so important and really being open and honest with when something is going wrong. Or you can do better than the conversations need to happen.

Scott Benner 1:06:00
Okay, well, I mean, I think that a plan is the best thing to have. So absolutely, yeah, I think that's amazing. Do you? Can I can I talk to you about numbers for a second? Check? Because I admit, I'm going to ask your opinion, too. So I've recorded you haven't heard them yet. But you will. And by the time this comes out, they will have been up for months. But I recorded a three part series about on the pod five in conjunction with Omni pod, the company. And they provided a CDE for me to speak with. Ah, that's so exciting. And she was from the Barbara Davis Center. Oh, really terrific. And I got to know her, you know, in the lead up to this. So this was, this was my idea. I've been floating this idea on the pod for two years. And like when all the pod five comes out, like let's do a short series that explains to the people and they were like, Yeah, that's a great idea. So it actually kind of happened, which was amazing. And, and this this woman, carry carry carry is how she's pronounced her name. I think it's my fault. Like I hear, probably I know, I mispronounce word carry up or get really lovely girl. And, and great at what she does. But what I noticed as I was getting to know her in a couple of meetings we had leading up to it that she was very knowledgeable, and easy to talk to, and could explain things well, but her greater focus was kind of the masses, like she wants everybody to do. Good. She's not looking to drill down people's a one season to the fives. Right? Like that's not her focus. Her focus is, you know, let's not have people running around with eight and nine and 1011 12 A onesies like let's get everybody, you know, into a reasonable place, you know, and I was thinking about her one night, and I was thinking about Jenny and I was like, like, what's the difference between these two people, and the difference between them is like Jenny's professional life is focused at really helping you dial in, like, get it really into into the fives. Right. And Karis focus isn't like that. And I thought, I wonder if I shouldn't do a series with Carrie, about management when you're not shooting for a 5.2. And if that wouldn't be valuable for people, and I wonder what you thought of it, like you're the first person I'm asking, so don't tell anybody, please.

Melissa 1:08:32
I'll take it to the grave. So

Scott Benner 1:08:34
just till it comes out if we do it, but you know.

Melissa 1:08:38
So my so from what I'm understanding you're saying is, is carry more in tune with making sure people don't feel so defeated all of the time, and being discouraged and things like that.

Scott Benner 1:08:52
It's interesting that you hear it that way. So I think that's telling about you, but no, that wasn't my question. My my thought is, is that some people have your, your, your kind of feeling about this, like for right now, a seven point whatever you said, is, is great, which I don't disagree with, but you're not you don't feel pressured to me to get it down. Like like, let me just say, like, if art and say once see this last three weeks with 7.5 I would, I'd be like, Oh my god, what have I done? Like like that? Like, I would be like I have to get this together. And I and that's because my perspective is an AE one C and the fives and yours isn't so you're not panicked by it, but you do you know it exists and you do think I can get to this exactly what you don't but you're not pressured by it.

Melissa 1:09:45
I'm not pressured by it because I do understand that it's gonna take some time. And you know, three years sounds like a really long time but, but to me, but go ahead. Yeah, yeah, but but when when you say it in that way of Like, like, Yes, I'm, I guess I don't have the urgency to get her down to a five. But like, I know, we will get there with what I am seeing with her numbers with the Omnipod. Five. And it's been like it, I don't know, I feel some days that it's some sort of sorcery or something like, because there are things that I have done the same for the last three years on the dash. And it kind of became like, well, this is what happens, she goes up after a meal, then she comes down and then floats kind of fine. We got to watch for the dips and the lows, but I bet you I've maybe have had to treat like an unexplainable low, maybe twice, twice or three times in the last month and a half. You know, when she wasn't bouncing on the trampoline, or swimming or something like that. And but I know with what I'm seeing and how often she's in range now compared to what we were seeing prior. It is an improvement. But again, I still know I can do better, we can do better and ASQ.

Scott Benner 1:11:04
Somebody Have you listened to the Pro Tip series? Yes. Okay. And so but you still slipped into that, like, well, this is just diabetes thing. Like you, you're accepting of the idea that like blood sugars are going to spike after meals.

Melissa 1:11:20
And I know that there's a way that they won't, but I just I haven't figured it out. tweaked it to figure it out. Yeah, yes. Because the problem is guys, I'm sorry. Not saying it depends on what she eats, too. She's very picky eater. So you'd think I'd be able to dial it in and figure it out. But we're also

Scott Benner 1:11:37
working, you have a full time job, right? Yes, yeah. And you're keeping that story quiet about the way you've took advantage of a 15 year old Jr 17. That's probably a lot of work. And you know, he's happy about it. Hey, listen, I'm not questioning you. I think you were out there doing the Lord's work. What do you think of it? So

I just think, you know, men die before women near like, let me get a younger one. And maybe I can get him to help me in my later years with more stuff. Oh, boy, I

Melissa 1:12:08
hope so. It was his stress level.

Scott Benner 1:12:12
He's got stressed selling craft beer to people.

Melissa 1:12:14
I know. Isn't that the most ironic thing you've ever said in your life?

Scott Benner 1:12:19
I don't want to get away from my original thought too much. But that took me by surprise more than anything so far.

Melissa 1:12:24
Oh, yeah. Well, when you have 90 accounts that are very demanding, and you're the kind of guy that never tells them no. And you know, his name is Clint. So I always say like, oh, well, Clint, I'll do it. Clint will do it as that's what I envision all of his account saying because he does he's he just bends over backwards and works really, really hard. And he doesn't sleep well, because he'll wake up in the middle of the night being like, Okay, wait, I have to do this, this, this, this and then his brain gets going. And then he's one of those people that like, when he can't sleep well, he'll go for a run,

Scott Benner 1:12:57
like, mattered a mental patient. That's all I can tell you. That's ridiculous.

Melissa 1:13:02
Like, four miles in the morning at like five in the morning. And I'm proud of him like, Hey, I was how were you? While you while you go down the driveway, babe. Good job.

Scott Benner 1:13:13
I'd rather have hypertension, but I'm kidding. I would not but but so it's where's my thought? How did you get me off on that? Oh, by saying that it was stressful selling beer selling craft. That's not an easy job, that nobody has any hope. Just really.

Melissa 1:13:33
It is far, far from an easy job,

Scott Benner 1:13:35
though. Listen, I don't know that there are many easy jobs. This one's stressful. And I mean, I was joking. I half an hour ago about like, just getting a podcast if you want to take it easy, but it's really hard. And there's a lot of stuff that goes into it. But yeah, but nevertheless. So okay, so you have so you really you have the like you you got into that thing where you were like, Listen, this is going to happen, and I don't know how to stop it. But But you believe that you will one day? Yes. So what are you? So my point is, I guess is the reason you're probably enjoying Omnipod. Five is because as her blood sugar is going up, it's trying to stop it where you weren't doing that. Is that right?

Melissa 1:14:14
And to an extent Yes. Like I didn't if she was if she was trending up, I'm like, Okay, we're doing something I would like near this before the switch. I bet you I was doing like a Temp Basal Temp Basal increase three times a day.

Scott Benner 1:14:33
Well, then did you ever think that maybe her Basal wasn't strong enough?

Melissa 1:14:36
Oh, yeah. Yes. But again, like I said, Before, I was the one that trusted and still do trust what my her endo has told us to do. And you know, like days would go by and I'd be like, Oh, I should send an email so they can look at the gluco report so that this can happen and we can figure out how to switch and change and then we'd go on Christmas vacation. For two weeks, where she would be sleeping until 10, and not eat so then like, certain ratios were off and then summertime cut, you know, so they sound like excuses. Yes, but I was absolutely correcting and doing everything I could to get her. I was being very aggressive, actually, in my opinion, at the end,

Scott Benner 1:15:19
yeah, they don't sound like excuses to me they sound like life. And that's why I was asking you so that you can kind of articulate it. And I wouldn't be I wouldn't be the one making the point, which is that? It's, it's all well and good, right to say like, well, you just have to do this, you just have to do that. But when when he supposed to find the time to do that? Exactly. You know, I mean, like, I know, it's of the utmost importance. But at the same time, like you, you still have to be at work on time. And you still have to say a certain amount of time, your husband's got to get up and be crazy and go for his run and go sell his beer and come home and you have another child. Right. So yes, you know, that that just what you said there a minute ago about like, I know, I should call contact the doctor. But you know, but I didn't right away. And I think that's the part. I think that's the part that's, that's the hardest to fix. And all this is is how do you help people be to feel autonomous enough, I guess, to make those changes on their own without having to reach to somebody that to do it on the fly. Like I don't sit down and like pour over Ardens numbers for an hour before I change something. I'm just sort of time for them. Just try this and see what happens. And so I think that's what people need more than anything is and then you went into on the pod five, with settings that were really only giving you an A one C of what?

Melissa 1:16:45
Well, she was at 884, I think at her last appointment, and we did change some things like he dropped her. What's it called the insulin sensitivity factor. She was at I think 100 or 90 and we dropped that to 70. And they explained to me okay, that means that when you do a correction, she might come down real fast. So you got to watch. Did

Scott Benner 1:17:08
that happen?

Melissa 1:17:10
No, it hasn't.

Scott Benner 1:17:11
Because listen, Mary spent the last couple of minutes helping a little bit here. Please. I would love that. What is she way?

Melissa 1:17:19
She is 76 pounds. What was your Basal

Scott Benner 1:17:21
rate when you left? DASCH ah,

Melissa 1:17:25
well then I had a feeling you're gonna ask me that. So I have to go into her stuff. So her Oh, you know, I think I took pictures on my phone. Just a minute. Please.

Scott Benner 1:17:36
Your phone call please try to figure out a way to call your episodes. Thanks looks like penises.

Melissa 1:17:40
Without without not not danger noodle. noodle is really good, though. It's no butthole adjacent. But you know, yeah,

Scott Benner 1:17:47
nothing's gonna beat that for a while. But now what is your sister saying? No. Nope, no prob. Well, that's pretty good.

Melissa 1:17:58
Alright, so um, yeah, we kept most of her settings the same. So she was, well, let's see, she was points. She's a point three from 12am to 7am. Then seven to one, she's point four or five. One to five. She's point six, five. And then five to midnight. She's also point six, five.

Scott Benner 1:18:25
Yeah, I mean, your problem is that I don't understand where point threes are coming from.

Melissa 1:18:32
Yeah, and that's it was down and he changed that it was a point three, five. And he changed that at the last appointment. Because and I I feel like his reasoning was she was she would dip low earlier in the night, but I wasn't treating. And then she would just slowly climb those last few hours. So

Scott Benner 1:18:55
these lower Basal is were for overnights,

Melissa 1:18:59
yes. 12am To 7am 12am

Scott Benner 1:19:01
to 7am. But then she'd wake up in the morning. So you're probably just I had a Basal deficit five, six o'clock in the morning. And then she wakes up feet on the floor, whatever else happens to her adrenaline etc. And it overwhelms her blood sugar because she doesn't have enough basil to help it because what she needs when she's awake is more like point six five like you're talking about. Right? Yeah.

Melissa 1:19:24
Because like are they always or all the way from 1pm to midnight? She's at point six five for basil.

Scott Benner 1:19:31
Then why not just Jakob it's too late now because using something else, but I mean, in that situation? I would think if you see those early rises in the morning, then just start bringing her basil up earlier than when she wakes up.

Melissa 1:19:43
Yeah, but she's still like, these are still the settings that I did put into the OP five.

Scott Benner 1:19:48
Yeah, no, I know. But trust me five minutes after you put in those Basal settings and on the pod five, it's making decisions on its own. It's never gonna think about that number you put in ever again. So that's true. Yeah, that's true. But it's interesting. I mean, anyway, it's so I can't I mean, I can't wait to see what happens for people. I'm watching online. People having, I think, two very distinct experiences with the algorithm so far. And yeah, it feels like people are either like, Oh my God, look how great this works. And it's just, it just does. Or they're like, No, we're struggling around this time or this time. And I'm wondering, based on I don't know, based on a lot like how much of it is bad settings, when you started on the day you started? Like, just like, because people oftentimes have low Basal rates, then make up for it with big bonuses.

Melissa 1:20:45
Yeah, right. And then that'd be interesting to collect that data.

Scott Benner 1:20:48
Yeah, it's just it's, it's, you know, Omnipod says the kind of the farther off your settings are, when you start, the longer it might take the algorithm to figure you out. So and how so how long have you been doing it now?

Melissa 1:21:04
June 8, was our first pod you're like,

Scott Benner 1:21:07
seven weeks? Maybe? Yeah,

Melissa 1:21:09
I think we're on like, our CERT teams pod somewhere around there, you still see

Scott Benner 1:21:12
it improving? Or has it plateaued for you?

Melissa 1:21:15
The last couple of days actually, has been that, that early morning rise that I was like, Wait, why are we seeing this again. But I still am, I'm happy so far with the results. And it's given me the confidence to not be so afraid of the loaves is really what it had done. And, and maybe it's just a mental thing of I think that oh, she's going to low it's going to suspend the insulin and not give her her basil and then I'll we'll be able to catch it or, or, you know, and I just listened to your 15th 15th episode, where, like, I figured that out maybe a year ago. And I'm like, No, she doesn't need that much. You know, how about, we'll give her three fruit snacks and see if that just bumps her up? Like just a little bit enough and doesn't have a rebound low. So for two and

Scott Benner 1:22:08
a half years, you follow that rule? I did. Yeah. And you didn't didn't need it?

Melissa 1:22:14
No, and there were days where it worked well, but again, it's like, well, but then did she go to gym class? You know, like, or was she going outside for recess after she treated a low? Or was it you know, she, we Pre-Bolus too far in advance of lunch and she hasn't started eating yet. You know, all those questions that you're like, alright, but there's simply not enough time or energy to, to record and remember everything in order to make it so it doesn't happen again. Because even if you change it and remember it, it's probably not gonna happen the same way. Anyway.

Scott Benner 1:22:47
It's interesting. I enjoy your perspective. Thank you very much for sharing it with me. I really do.

Melissa 1:22:52
It's I have to tell you a cute story though the other day

Scott Benner 1:22:55
about you like dating little boys.

Melissa 1:22:59
Hi, Scott. I'm a preschool teacher.

Scott Benner 1:23:03
Well, I'm just saying,

Melissa 1:23:05
I do not date little boy.

Scott Benner 1:23:09
I am fat. I am trying to imagine when I was 15 for 17 year old girl would have went out with me. How amazing that would have been.

Melissa 1:23:18
Oh, it was no it was like every scene you imagine from like an 80s movie, where like I was crouched at my locker and he walked by and smiled at me and like the monster ballad song started playing and, and I remember saying to myself, like, I am going to marry that guy. And we dated actually, for 10 years.

Scott Benner 1:23:36
We had to wait for him to come of age.

Melissa 1:23:41
Absolutely. Well, yeah, we dated for Well, we did it for six years, broke up for a year got back together. And then we had been kind of, you know, 10 years. We got married seven, seven or seven. That's why I actually was I was like, oh, maybe my podcast number would be 777. But I don't know how it's gonna fly.

Scott Benner 1:24:02
Don't worry. I'm not I'm not putting any effort into that. Just know. Dr. Perez is episode went up on his birthday. Yeah, that's crazy. He sent me a note. He's like, I'm he's like, I was really thrilled to see my episode go up. He goes, you know, coincidentally, yesterday was my birthday. And I was like, I took credit for it. I went oh, I did that on purpose.

Melissa 1:24:23
Well, that was very kind of you. I don't know what his

Scott Benner 1:24:24
birthday is. I just talked to you on Facebook now.

Melissa 1:24:29
Oh, that's fine. Yeah. Yeah, cuz I think we're friends anyway. So

Scott Benner 1:24:33
all right. Don't tell people I sometimes say yes to friend requests on Facebook. You're killing

Melissa 1:24:38
Oh, it was it was a very long time ago. I think you answered a question for me and it had to happen.

Scott Benner 1:24:42
I haven't done that in a long time. Look at this. This is something Yeah, this doesn't look illegal. Everything seems fine. You're fine. You're fine, because my husband? Yes. How old are you now?

Melissa 1:24:56

42. Well, I'll Yeah, well, I'll be 42 in August.

Scott Benner 1:24:59
Oh, And he just turned 40 Or it's about to be,

Melissa 1:25:02
he turned 40 in January. Okay?

Scott Benner 1:25:05
This is a sexy story.

Melissa 1:25:10
But no, my story is not sexy. It's super cute. So I was trying to figure out one of these morning rises out of nowhere, you know, and she's really good at not sneaking food, she has done it. And we always tell her like, you're not going to get in trouble for diabetes stuff. I'm like, if you want 10 pieces of candy, just Bolus for it. I don't care. You know, you're a kid. We always like safe and happy and healthy is like our goal. We try to adhere to that as best we can. But so I asked her when she had this crazy climb up out of nowhere in the morning and she's like, I didn't I didn't eat anything mom. She was but I did have a dream that it was a kid in my classes birthday. And he brought cupcakes and cookies and doughnuts. So maybe that's why my my number went up.

Scott Benner 1:26:03
She thinks it's possible that her dream ID or budget could have, by the way been adrenaline from the dream that

Melissa 1:26:08
True? True. But nope, she said it was so she got all the snacks all the sweets for her friend's birthday in her dream and that's probably what made her blood sugar guys

Scott Benner 1:26:18
really sweet. That it seriously, it's now 11 years from now. I don't know what she's gonna do when she's 17. But right now, she seems adorable. So Oh, sure. Your friends make fun of you.

Melissa 1:26:31
Do my friends make fun of me? Like in general?

Scott Benner 1:26:33
No. When you were 17 You're not sticking on what I'm concerned most about. When you were 17. And you dated a 15 year old boy. Does your friends mock you or do they? know he was a stud still? Oh, I see. Oh, I see what you did. Oh, I'm seeing it now. He is a handsome man. Yes, yeah. You got him before he knew. I see.

Melissa 1:26:55
And he's sweet as pie you like,

Scott Benner 1:26:58
away from girls? Well,

Melissa 1:27:01
I kept him away but not always kept them away.

Scott Benner 1:27:05
I'm seeing that that could be possible. So here's the I would let this man Hold my hand. I see what's going on here. Okay, I got the vibe here. What's the I know what's happening? Now? I figured the whole thing out. I'm good. Wonderful. I was like, Yeah, you basically you were like, that kid is gonna be draftable one day I'm getting them now before anybody else figures it out.

Melissa 1:27:27
I say Hey, I am smart, Scott.

Scott Benner 1:27:29
Now I'm figured out now I figured out what happened. I just it first the reason I had to go stocky. I was like was this like some sad girl that could only get a 15 year old boy when she was 17. And now I'm seeing what you did. You're like, I'm just gonna get this one before you ripens?

Melissa 1:27:44
Not just to hit wreck.

Scott Benner 1:27:47
All right, Melissa, this was good. Thank you very much. I appreciate your time. Absolutely. I

Melissa 1:27:51
appreciate yours as well. Cool.

Scott Benner 1:27:53
Thanks. Hold on one second. Okay. Okay. hit record again. Okay. Okay. Okay. Can you tell that story on we are you comfortable with that? Yes, yeah. Okay. So it doesn't have to be very specific. But we were just talking about how my daughter had hand foot mouth before she was diagnosed. And then you told me what about your daughter?

Melissa 1:28:14
So my daughter had a couple of different sicknesses. When you always try to pinpoint what where this started, especially if there's no hereditary and my daughter did have hand foot and mouth. And but she was like four? I think so

Scott Benner 1:28:31
of yours between the hand foot and mouth and her diagnosis. Yes, sir.

Melissa 1:28:35
Maybe she was even three at the time, I would think and then she did have strep in 2018, which was closer to to her diagnosis. And, you know, I always think like, does it really matter? Do I really need to know that kind of thing. But the, the curveball that was just thrown is that my daughter, it was it was that summer when she had hand Foot Mouth, we had gone to a friend's house. And we were playing with like, they had a big blow up, like waterslide type of thing. And then a couple days later, both there's three families total. And kids from all three families had hand foot and mouth and I would have to double check with a mom to be honest with you if her child had it specifically, but her son actually was diagnosed yesterday morning. That's type one. And this

Scott Benner 1:29:28
is hold on five and a half years after the time that kids had it. Yes, boy. Yeah, I have no idea if those would be connected. But that is I thought that was so interesting when you were saying that.

Melissa 1:29:40
Yeah, it's very weird. Very, very odd. But again, it's like, does it really matter? Do I really need to know that? Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:29:48
Yeah, yeah. for your purposes. She's got it and, you know, yeah, knowing how it's not exactly going to change anything. Exactly. Okay. All right. I appreciate you jumping back on to say that so thanks. No problem. Yeah, yeah.

First let's thank Melissa for sharing her story. And then we're going to thank Omni pod makers of the AMI pod dash and Omni pod five Omni pod.com forward slash juice box. Check it out Get started today. Better help.com If you're looking for talk therapy betterhelp.com forward slash juice box will get you 10% off your first month of therapy. Use my offer code juice box at cozy earth.com to save 35% off sitewide that's pretty much it. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast