I just unintentionally saw Twilight
Arden and Cole both received the same Christmas gift from their grandmother... Gift certificates for dinner, book shopping and a movie with Grandmom. Arden wasted no time and exercised part of her gift tonight, asking to see Twilight. My mom isn't able to manage diabetes on her own so I tagged along to set Arden up with snacks and insulin. I was going to sit in the lobby or another movie so Arden could feel like she was by herself with her grandmom.
In the beginning things were going well. Arden's BG was 120 and drifting down as we took our place in the concession line. Everything was set up perfectly for Arden to enjoy the evening and I thought that we had handled an earlier meal well, putting her in a great position to watch Bella and the gang stare lovingly into the camera and/or off into space.
The concession line was very long and moving insufferably slow so I suggested that Arden and my mom head into the theater to find their seats. Arden was so excited, she was about to spend two hours feeling independent and hanging out with her grandmom. I was equally happy and loved the idea of her spending this time away from the constant overseeing... sadly diabetes had other plans. I watched the time closely as I waited for the popcorn because Arden's DexCom was still indicating a diagonal arrow down when she walked away. The concession line continued to crawl along, taking twenty plus minutes to get snacks and return to the girls.
I thought that I'd find Arden with a BG of around 100 when we met next.
When I arrived at Arden's seat she said, "did you get my text - I feel really dizzy". The long wait in line had set me back about ten minutes but I didn't think it was an issue becasue Arden was going to text if there was a problem. It turns out that I wasn't receiving my text messages (due to a week cell signal in the lobby), these messages came through a few minutes after I got to Arden...
Arden didn't take steps to control her BG drop because she thought that I'd be there any second with her food and "(I) didn't want to get too high so I waited".
I tested Arden as the opening credits rolled, her BG was 47 and still falling. I quickly gave her a glucose tablet and she began to eat her movie treats but it was too late, she was beyond dizzy. It was then that Arden asked me to take her home... I immediately felt incredibly sad for her.
I suggested that she stay, promised that she'd feel better soon and that she could still enjoy the movie. She agreed, I sat on the floor in front of her (the theater was full), she continued to eat. The DexCom finally indicated that her BG fall had stopped so I bolused for the snacks, she said that she felt better so I went to the lobby to give her the alone time that she had so wanted. fyi, I did get to see Bella marry that British kid before I left.
About twenty minutes later I received this text from Arden, "I feel dizzyer and the cgm says that I am 108". I went back in, we talked and she asked for some candy. A little while later she indicated that she felt better and said the sweetest thing. She said, "a feel a little better but I think that I get more dizzy when you leave", she paused and looked a bit uncomfortable. I told her that I could just stay with them but she indicated that I should go... I could tell that she wanted me to stay. I asked her why she looked conflicted, it was then that Arden told me that she believed that I was in a different movie and she didn't want me to miss it. Her concern for me was so sweet... I told her that I was just reading in the lobby and that I didn't mind staying, she smiled and sat back in her seat. I tried to find a good position at the top of the stairs to watch the last hour of the movie. By the time the film ended my left leg, butt and lower back were numb, perhaps as dead as Bella after she completed her transformation but I didn't mind. After the movie I tried to apologize to the woman sitting next to Arden but she wouldn't let me, she smiled in a way that said she understood and put her hand on my arm.
I am happy to tell you that while this evening didn't go even slightly as planned, it was still a success in Arden's eyes. She had a great time and called the movie "creepy but good". I am so proud of her, she never gave in tonight, she's the toughest person that I know.
My Twilight seat
Without a CGM and the information that it provides we would have never been able to make the adjustments necessary for Arden to remain in the theater. In kind, having an insulin pump and the ability to suspend background insulin was equally pivotal in navigating this diabetes moment. Type I diabetes made this night a challenge but having the correct tools and attitude were the key to not letting it get the better of us. Tomorrow, lunch and book shopping with Grandmom. I'll be outside... just in case.
Merry Christmas!
To the kindest, most caring group of people that I've ever had the pleasure of knowing...
Merry Christmas!
What should they tell you at diagnosis?
I was recently asked, "name one thing that you wish someone would have told you the day Arden was diagnosed with diabetes?" I thought about it and almost said that it would have been nice to know how unpredictable things would be.
but after serious consideration... I said,
"I wish someone would have introduced me to Twitter". I found the diabetes online community by mistake. Actually, I didn't know it existed even after I published Arden's Day - I was amazingly and embarrassingly unaware. I never Googled "diabetes", "type I" or the search that I see most now - "my child was just diagnosed with diabetes". I've said this before but there was a small amount of time when I believed that my blog was one of a kind - which of course it is/was not.
I sort of backed into Twitter. I (very honestly) originally joined because I thought that it would help this website find a larger audience. Very soon I realized that it was much more! I began to meet so many great people and communicating with them was very organic. It takes a lot for someone to email you through your website but sending a tweet isn't so daunting. Meeting more people brought new management ideas, more comfort and reinforced the notion that I wasn't alone.
A few weeks after I joined Twitter Arden's BG was unsteady at bedtime so I was sitting up and waiting for it to stabilize. Before I knew what happened it was after 3 am - I was falling to sleep... so in an effort to stay awake I opened Twitter. A quick swipe of my finger showed me that another D-parent was awake and doing the same thing. We chatted for a few minutes and my anxiety melted away. I was still exhausted but I no longer felt isolated.
I think that somewhere between being taught how to give an injection and carb counting class, the hospital should have a social media person drop by and explain why the kids are calling the number sign a hashtag.
My next few posts will center around social media and the great things that it has brought to my life. Look for the first soon after Christmas.
#DOC, #diabetes, #type I, #Twitter
Stress, back pain, Howard Stern and my friend Mike
Stress thrives on two truths:
1. We all have stuff.
2. We all think we handle our stuff, most of us don't.
Almost twenty years ago I heard a noise emanate from my lower back that I will never forget. It sounded like an explosion and tearing flesh combined. It was so loud that the people around me heard it. I heard it with my ears but also from within my body. It was terrifying and it hurt like hell. The next 12 months were doctor appointments, days spent incapacitated, lost work time, I was a slave to the pain in my back.
One day a close friend brought me a book. I'll never forget what he said, "I heard about this on the Howard Stern Show, Howard says it made his back pain disappear in a week". I remember joking that I'd probably be better off hitting myself in the head with the book. Right before my friend left, he wished me well and commented that, "it couldn't hurt anything - you're just laying here anyway, read it".
I was a man in my early twenties and I sincerely believed that my life was over. I could barely move most days and when I was able to eliminate the pain, it would only come back twice as bad the next day.
So I read the book...
I want to be clear when I say that my back "hurt" I mean it was as if twenty men had their hands wrapped around my spine and they were trying to squeeze the life from me. I mean that if I moved too fast or the "wrong way" that it would have been less painful to stab myself in the eye with an ice pick. I mean my back hurt like I had been struck by a thousand trucks and somehow didn't die - it hurt in a way that I hope none of you ever experience.
I read the book, it was a short book. I read it and I did as the author asked - I thought about my stress and where it came from, I took a leap of faith and threw myself into something that a year earlier, I would have mocked openly. I read the book and one week later my back didn't hurt anymore.
After over a year of incapacitating pain, I read a book and stood up like nothing had every happened. Three months after I was told I needed spinal surgery, I just stood up and it didn't hurt anymore. I cried when I realized that the pain was gone - like a baby.
Some will say I was never really injured. I was there when it happened, everyone heard my back exploded. I can tell you that I did injure myself that day. That the pain worsened as you would expect, the injury progressed as the doctor told me it would. I had a text book back injury - I promise you.
Yesterday marked six weeks of my back "hurting" again, I wasn't laid up but I was in a great deal of pain and not moving well at all. Stiff, partially incapacitating back pain. I had been carrying it for weeks. I knew from reading the book that I wasn't injured but I was in pain. Perhaps it's time I tell you more about the book.
I'll keep it simple. Stress is bad for you and your mind doesn't want you to experience long bouts of it. When you deal with your stress by not dealing with it, your subconscious mind is still processing the turmoil that you refuse to outwardly feel. Your brain, for the lack of a technical explanation, gives you something else to worry about, to pay attention to - it distracts you in the only way that it can.
I wonder why it doesn't make you feel like you just ate chocolate while having an orgasm on a warm breezy day?
Some get headaches, some back pain, we all experience the distraction differently. Here is why I believe mine is back pain. I was a bright twenty year old guy in a terrible job that I could not figure out how to get out of. One day I lifted something and legitimately injured myself... that was all my mind needed, it now knew how to get me out of that crappy job even if I didn't. My brain did something to me that forced me to not go to that job ever again, it forced me to find a different path. It made me sit down and think about my stuff.
Back to yesterday. I was in bad shape and getting worse but instead of calling a doctor I forced myself to reflect on the last two months and figure out what was bothering me. Not the stuff I know about. The things that concern you but you are dealing with, those don't effect your stress level in the same way as an unexamined issue.
Now just in case this all doesn't sound mystical enough, here's what happened to me yesterday morning. I figured out that I had been worried about a loved one. I don't want to give details but this person means the world to me and I am concerned about an aspect of their life. I know that I can't solve this issue and since I can have no real effect on it, I tried to ignore how worried I was. I guess that was eating me up inside because my back tightened up and when I tried to ignore the pain without finding it's source, it worsened and persisted for weeks. I tried telling myself that I wasn't injured (a trick that often makes the pain dissipate if the underlying cause isn't too serious) to no avail. I decided that I couldn't carry the burden of this concern without pain so I told the person that I was worried for them, that I knew it wasn't my place to worry and that I loved them and would do anything to help. My back stopped hurting by the time I got the words out and it has not hurt since. Six weeks of pain and tightness disappeared in moments.
I know that sounds a bit crazy but it's the absolute truth. I wouldn't have believed it either if I wasn't forced to all those years ago. Twenty years later I owe my life to that little book and to the man that wrote it, Dr. John Sarno. Dr. Sarno has written a few books on the power of the mind since then and I've read them all. They have relieved me of pain, hay fever and other stress related ailments. I'm sharing this with all of you not because I want to sell a book for the man, he's doing pretty well but because the world of diabetes is a rather stressful one. The next time you get a phantom pain, start feeling sick or begin to get overwhelmed, I suggest that you find a quiet place, come to terms with what it is that you are worried about and voice that concern.
Most people think that they handle stress well - those are generally the ones that don't. It's the screamers and the criers, the complainers and the talkers that handle stress the way it was meant to be. Those of us who put on a strong face and press on - we are the walking heart attacks, the back pain and headache people. Turns out that just like most things in life... the simple answer is usually the correct one. Let your stress go! If you don't have a person, get one, get a Twitter handle or a diary, pay a therapist or talk to a wall - just don't keep it inside. Sharing helps, it's why blogging is such a wonderful release for patients and caregivers, it's why your mother told you to not keep things bottled up inside.
I'd like to thank, in no particular order: Dr. John Sarno for writing such amazing books, Howard Stern for reading them and telling the world and my friend Mike for working in a book store when we were youger. The three of you saved me from a miserable existence.
The paperback that saved me!
Your opinion is needed: Insulin Pumps and Glucose Monitors
I am in the throws of launching a charitable foundation whose focus will be assisting diabetic children that want but can't afford insulin pumps and continuous glucose monitors.
The necessary paperwork to form the charitable entity is getting very close to being submitted. In the meantime, I am diligently working on ways to make the charity as successful and far reaching as it possibly can be. I will be involved in a number of meetings and presentations over the coming weeks and months and I was hoping that you could help me to better understand how the costs associated with managing diabetes effects your financial life. I am very interested in hearing from the parents of children with type I but if you are an adult with diabetes I am still very interested in your answers - you never what the future will bring.
If you would be kind enough to anonymously answer a few questions, I will be able to use the data you submit as I search for the funding necessary to make this fledgling dream a robust reality. You won't be asked anything that would identify you and none of your personal information is collected by this site.
The answers that you provide will help me to make a better presentation when speaking with potential donors, supporters and sponsors. None of the answers are 'required' by the form and you can skip any you like by choosing "left blank".
Your support is greatly appreciated!
The data collection form is located here. /anonymous
My new book, "Life Is Short, Laundry Is Eternal' is available now - Amazon/Kindle - Barnes&Noble/Nook
My new book, "Life Is Short, Laundry Is Eternal' is available now - Amazon/Kindle - Barnes&Noble/Nook
My new book, "Life Is Short, Laundry Is Eternal' is available now - Amazon/Kindle - Barnes&Noble/Nook