Interview: Miss Idaho Sierra Sandison #ShowMeYourPump
All any of us want is to be anonymous and in a world where different is often looked upon with fear, the people who want, need and deserve that anonymity sometimes have to stand front and center to get it.
A few weeks ago Sierra Sandison was a contestant in the Miss Idaho Pageant. She wasn’t a diabetes advocate or even a person who widely shared with her friends that she was diagnosed with type I diabetes at the age of eighteen. Much has changed since then.
Sierra was backstage at Miss Idaho during the first night of competition when she had a chance meeting with Miss Idaho’s Outstanding Preteen, 12 year old McCall Salinas. Sierra stepped out of her dressing room and heard these words, “Oh my gosh, is that an insulin pump?”
Sierra told me that her stomach “flip flopped” when she realized that McCall recognized her insulin pump for what it was. I thought, “Oh no, people are going to notice, I was hoping that it was little enough that no one would notice”.
Sierra’s second reaction to McCall’s words, “I got scared”, but then McCall quickly explained that she also had type I diabetes and that she didn’t use an insulin pump because "she was scared of what her friends would think and of how it would look”.
It was during this brief encounter that a diabetes advocate was born. Sierra Sandison, a 20 year old woman who was diagnosed with type I diabetes only two years prior, was about to make a decision that would change her life. She could disconnect from her pump when she took the stage in her swim suit or leave it on and help McCall to not feel quite so alone.
At the time that their exchange took place Sierra told me, “I had no idea that I would even make the top ten, let alone become Miss Idaho - but I thought, I have to do this for McCall”.
During the interview I mentioned to Sierra that I believe people become advocates when they realize that they care more for another person than they do for themselves. This was that moment for Sierra. When she left that conversation with McCall she was a different person, and that person didn’t want McCall to be worried about what other people would think.
It only took Sierra a second to decide that she was going to walk on stage wearing her insulin pump, “I have to do this for McCall”, she thought.
“It was really scary (to walk out on stage) but thinking about McCall gave me a whole new confidence”. Suddenly Sierra didn't care what the audience or the judges thought and the prospect of becoming Miss Idaho or Miss America became secondary.
When she came off stage McCall walked up to Sierra and said, “now I want to get a pump”.
Sierra and McCall
Sierra “balled her eyes out” when she realized that something she had done helped another person to find the confidence to be him or herself.
If this story stopped here it would be amazing and completely worth sharing. It’s a story of two strangers who find each other by chance, both unaware of how much they are in need of the other’s support. A simple and beautiful story of humanity, empathy and the power of sameness. But social media had other plans for this moment and later when Sierra shared a photo of herself and McCall on Facebook, along with a brief description of how they met backstage and the events that transpired immediately after, Sierra found a community of loving people living with diabetes that she didn't know existed - and they had her back.
The outpouring of support that she received on Facebook prompted Sierra to share a different photo, this time of her walking on stage in her black bikini with her insulin pump on her side. This is the first time that she would use the hashtag #ShowMeYourPump.
In an instant 20 year old Sierra Sandison went from being a hopeful pageant contestant who got caught up in the desire to support a little girl, to the face of confidence and security for people everywhere who live with insulin dependent diabetes. Her image was about to inspire countless thousands to share pictures of themselves with their insulin pumps on social media. Sierra’s very unintended coming out party was suddenly and gleefully part of the ethos.
Now everywhere you look on Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Google+ and the rest of social media, people with diabetes are showing their pumps to the world in an effort to become invisible. The chain of events is continuing on. Sierra’s decision to support McCall has become a phenomenon of strangers holding up their pumps in support of Sierra, and in support of themselves. We are witnessing humanity at it’s best, we are witnessing people whose desire to support a stranger is helping them to overcome the same insecurity that brought Sierra and McCall together.
All any of us want is to be anonymous and in a world where different is often looked upon with fear, the people who want, need and deserve that anonymity sometimes have to stand front and center to get it.
Show them your pump, until no one sees it.
Today, because a little girl noticed and insulin pump on a strangers hip, people who live with diabetes are a lot closer to that goal. I told Sierra that my hope is that one day soon another girl will walk onto a stage wearing an insulin pump, and that no one will notice. No one will post a picture, ask for an interview or bat an eye. That’s the world I want to live in, it's the world McCall needs and the world that Sierra Sandison’s bravery brought us all one-step closer to… when she showed us her pump.
#ShowMeYourPump
Interview: University of Alabama Catcher and Type I Diabetic, Molly Fichtner
I asked Molly if there is one trait that everyone who makes it as far as she has possesses, and after some consideration she answered, “Shear determination”.
University of Alabama’s catcher Molly Fichtner is someone whose story needs to be told for a number of reasons. You may be interested in hearing about a young woman who has been working at her sport since childhood, others will want to know how a type I diabetic balances playing at the very top of a grueling hot weather sport with the insulin and carbohydrates that are required for her to live. I think that many who read this will be impressed at how Molly left UT-San Antonio so that she could chase a dream.
Though these are all good reasons to Interview Molly, none are why I tracked her down. I wanted to speak with Molly because she possess a will to succeed that is not often seen.
Molly began her journey to the 2014 NCAA Woman’s College World Series by playing Little League baseball with the boys and she said that she, “threw a fit” when her parents told her that she needed to switch to softball. Seems like her parents knew what they were talking about…
Molly really dove headfirst into softball when she was twelve years old. At that time she was playing on an 18u team (18 years old and under) and found herself asking her dad to hit her ground balls even after she would arrived home from day long summer practices, “that’s when my parents began to understand how much I wanted it”. Molly continued to work hard into high school, “I think I started peaking between my freshman and sophomore year and I thought, hey I could play in college”. She hit the gym, adding strength to her 5’ 2” frame and power to her swing, “I like being the underdog, I am 5’ 2” but my goal was to play like I was six feet tall”.
The winter after Molly first played with the older girls, at age twelve, she was diagnosed with type I diabetes during her Christmas break, Molly lost over ten pounds in a month and experienced other tell-tale signs of type I diabetes; like frequent urination, an insatiable thirst and generally feeling terrible. Those symptoms prompted Molly’s grandmother (a type 2 diabetic) to suggest that the family use her blood glucose meter on Molly. That’s the first time anyone would strike a hole in Molly’s finger to test her blood, her blood sugar was so high on Christmas Day that her grandmother’s meter couldn’t offer a number, it only said, “HI”.
Today Molly has a plan for handling every aspect of her type I diabetes in her life and when she plays softball. Her trainers test her blood sugar every thirty minutes during games and practices. She told me that regimen works the best for her but noted that during particularly intense games her adrenaline can spike, sending her blood glucose value climbing. She also knows that her blood sugar tends to get low after night games and so she makes adjustments to her food and insulin that help avoid them. Type I diabetes is certainly a challenge, it’s impact on the body can not be denied but, Molly doesn’t let that get in her way in her daily life and it didn’t stop her from becoming UT-San Antonio’s catcher.
In two years at UT-San Antonio Molly started in over one hundred games, she was receiving accolades and having success, “but I didn’t feel like I was being pushed to see how far I could actually go”. Her parents sat Molly down and asked if she wanted to transfer. “It wasn’t about the playing, it wasn’t about anything (softball related), it was about having the experience”.
Follow Molly on Twitter.
What Molly told me next is where her story lies. “When I arrived at Alabama I didn’t even know if I was going to play and it didn’t matter to me”. What Molly wanted was a chance to push herself, she wanted to be surrounded by the best to see if she could measure up, to have the opportunity to learn from the best; she wanted more and somehow at the age of twenty had the courage to give up a sure thing to get the chance to breath rarified air. I tried to tell Molly that I thought that what she did was incredibly brave but I don’t think that she saw it that way and after talking to her for a little longer, I started to see why. I think Molly just didn’t want to stop growing. What I saw initially as bravery, I soon began to think of as perspective. I told Molly that many of the people that I’ve met who have type I diabetes seem to have a very clear perspective on life and that I thought that clarity comes partially from living with a chronic illness.
During her freshman year at UT-San Antonio Molly played in a tournament against the Crimson Tide. “I got to see them firsthand. I looked at the players; the camaraderie… there was something different about the program. I was catching so I could hear them in their dugout”. That day Molly went 2 for 2 with two home runs and she threw out one of Alabama’s fastest runners trying to steal. She thinks that her performance in that game helped her when she called Coach Murphy to inquire about playing for the Crimson Tide.
Before Molly could make the call to Tuscaloosa, she had to ask UT-San Antonio to release her because NCAA rules prohibit players and schools from talking about such things while they are signed with another institution. She had to be released from the UTSA Softball Program and cleared by the NCAA prior to contacting Coach Murphy.
You can see why I thought Molly was brave; she told me that she was scared when she asked for her release, “They pulled my scholarship right away… I had no where to go”. Molly gave up a full scholarship and guaranteed playing time to have the chance to find out what she was made of. Molly Fichtner is a person who understands that life is more than just succeeding, it’s about being motivated and fearless, life is about wondering what you don’t know and having the audacity to try and find out.
I asked Molly if there is one trait that everyone who makes it as far as she has possesses, and after some consideration she answered, “Shear determination”.
Her advice to kids who have aspirations of playing at a higher level was simple but profound. “A lot of kids, when they think they’re good - they stop working. The determination to be the best you can be and to keep working and to not be satisfied, that’s what’s going to separate you in the long run. Be determined to take your ability as far as it can go”.
Last week Alabama fell short of winning the Woman’s College World Series in Molly’s senior year, losing to Florida in the championship round, but when she spoke about the experience all I heard was a positive attitude. She talked about wanting to have an impact on kids playing softball and being a part of helping them to fulfill their dreams through coaching by getting her Master’s Degree and continuing to try to find the parts of herself that have yet to be challenged.
I described to Molly that I often tell my children, who both play competitive baseball and softball respectively, that I don’t care about the end result... I care about how they do what they're doing.
Molly interjected, “At Alabama we call that process over outcome”.
I think that phrase perfectly describes Molly’s life and her success. In fact, I can’t think of a better message for people living with diabetes, children who dream of playing a sport on the world’s stage or the little girls who will grow up to be the next generation of woman; so I’m going to stop writing - even though I could go on all day about how impressed I was with Molly Fichtner.
Listen to Molly on the Juicebox Podcast
Kris Freeman: The Arden's Day Interview
The road to my interview with Kris Freeman starts when he posts this picture on Twitter as the Sochi Olympics are beginning. The photo of Kris and his fellow US cross country teammate Kikkan Randall (say Key-Can) caused me to have two distinct thoughts, “I am significantly out of shape” and “This reminds me of a point in my life when I was afraid that my daughter Arden was too lean to wear an insulin pump or continuous glucose monitor (CGM).
I immediately reached out to Kris and inquired about using his image in a blog post that I wanted to write called “Worried Your Child Is Too Lean For An Insulin Pump Or Cgm?”. Kris, very generously agreed and then I asked him if he would be willing to do an interview with me after he arrived home from Sochi.
My interview with four time Olympic athlete and type I diabetic, Kris Freeman
Scott: When you posted the photo was this just you celebrating the games starting with a friend or did you have an idea that it would help people who wear insulin pumps and CGMs?
Kris: We were just playing around… we were both just taking off our wet shirts from training and I was like, “Hey this might be cool, lets take a picture”.
I told Kris how I wanted to use his photo to help lend Arden’s Day readers the same support that I was offered many years ago on Twitter. It was then that a woman in her thirties reached out and told me that she was lean (like Arden) and had no trouble finding good sites for her pump. That brief conversation took away my apprehension about Arden starting on an insulin pump and I wanted to return the favor . "My blog posts are fine" I thought, but this picture of Kris is certainly more inviting, informative and poignant then any words I could throw together. It really makes the point that a person can find a pump or CGM site no matter their body type.
S: The blog post that included the picture of you with Kikkan is one of the most popular posts that has ever appeared on my blog. Seeing an insulin pump and CGM working on such a lean person was inspiring for so many people who live with type I diabetes and their parents.
S: What is your average body fat when you are in competition shape?
K: I go off of a body fat monitoring scale and I range anywhere from 4 to 8 percent. The scale has some inaccuracy in it depending on your hydration level, but I harbor around 5 to 6 percent normally.
I asked Kris if he knew the average body fat for an adult, he wasn’t positive but he guessed it may be around twenty… I looked down as he was speaking and thought, “What must mine be...?”.
S: How many hours a week do you train to maintain that level of fitness.
Kris gave a complete answer about varying his effort, “Each month I’ll have two hard weeks and two easier weeks, so that my body doesn’t get used to a certain load”. “I also change the amount of volume from month to month”. He says that he trains the hardest in August and September and then through October, November, December the volume comes down but that during those months, “I train harder, I ski faster, do intervals… training my anaerobic system instead of my aerobic system”. “If you want to just know how man hours a week I average, last year I trained about nine hundred hours for the year. That includes one off day a week and illnesses that don’t allow me to train”.
I did some quick math and it sounds to me like Kris trains on average of twenty to twenty-two hours per week, or the equivalent of the amount of exercise that I did between 2008 and 2010.
K: My biggest training days are five to six hours and the smallest is one to two.
S: Since there isn’t always snow available, how do you train for cross-country year round?
Kris training on Roller Skis. Image courtesy Krisfreeman.net
K: I do a lot of dry land training, I use roller skis. They look kind of like roller blades but they attach with the same boot and binding as my skis. They are remarkably good at mimicking the muscle use of skis, it’s just a different feeling to be rolling instead of gliding.
S: When we were watching you ski at the Sochi games it occurred to me that your life is kind of like a living diabetes blog. That the simple act of you going about your day is an act of support and relief for people who live with diabetes and the people who love them. I’ve received countless letters over the years that thank me for sharing our life with diabetes here on the blog, people often say that it "saves" them. I was wondering, do you see that your presence in the public eye is doing the same for people?
I loved Kris’s answer
K: I have never set out to be a role model or an inspiration in the diabetes world. I was just doing what I love to do and I found solutions with my own diabetes care that allowed me to do it. I was alerted that what I was doing was inspiring other people and so over time I’ve embraced the image of a role model but it was never something that I thought of (about) myself.
I tried a few more times to give Kris credit for the example that he provides for the diabetes community but he remained very humble. I could tell how incredibly pleased he was that his life as an Olympic athlete is uplifting to the community, he insisted that he is glad he can inspire people but, “I’m still just me and I’m trying to be the best ski racer and person that I can be, I don’t get out the door everyday and think I’m going to be an inspiration.”
I told Kris that when we watched him compete at Sochi I was struck by the amount of effort and training that cross country requires and thought that it must seem, to most people who have diabetes, to be something that is out of reach for them. I wondered aloud if people with diabetes identify with the image of him working so hard to reach a difficult result.
S: Your life is a figurative example of diabetes. There is no end to the amount of effort that you have to put in, your footing is never secure and it almost always feels like you are slogging up an incline. I guess you can paint parallels between almost anything, but this one seems pretty obvious. It’s possible that when people are watching you ski, they see themselves in your effort. I hear it in your voice and I’ve spoken with you before… I know you're not trying to be a role model, and I’m not a big believer in role models. I don’t think that anyone should be looking to other people and expecting them to live their life in a certain way, but when it happens organically, it’s beautiful. You're living a blog… and it’s helping people.
We spoke about the interview that he did with The Olympic Zone on NBC and I remarked at how popular it was in the diabetes community.
S: The NBC interview was shared online, liked and commented on furiously. In my opinion it helped people to understand that their diabetes can’t hold them back and it takes away some of the fear that parents of children with type I may have. Seeing you on that stage doing this incredibly difficult thing, it lets parents know that their kids lives can still be all that they hoped for when they first held them as newborns. How does it feel to hear that and to have the support of so many people who identify with you?
K: For sure, knowing that people are watching and are encouraged by what I am doing is inspirational to me. Similar to the advocacy work I do with Lilly visiting summer camps*. I know that I’m having a strong impact on other people… even though it’s hard for me to believe. I know in the back of my head.
S: Does competing at such a high level change your definite of success? I know you weren’t happy with your results at the games.
Kris at ADA Camp Triangle D in Ingleside, Illinois. Image courtesy of Lilly Diabetes
K: I’ve been fourth at the world before at the World Championships, which is the same level of competition as the Olympics, so finishing in the fifties was not impressive (to me). I was not on my A game at the Olympics, I wish that I could show what a diabetic can do, but at the same time... maybe that doesn’t matter to the (diabetes) community. Maybe it just matters that I was there and that I’m a competitive athlete.
S: The difference between first place and last was only a few minutes, I guess in your world thats an eternity but I was like, “Sh*t I’d give them all a medal”. Is that kind of a finish motivation to keep going?
K: I’ve been closer in my career and I know what I’m capable of when I’m at my best and I was just not there. That happens. I missed something in training, my coaches and I still don’t know (what) but usually it becomes apparent later. The drive to be the best in the world is the same drive that gets you to the Olympics. You don’t get to the Olympics because you are satisfied with where you are. You get there because you want to be the best in the world and when you get there, you want to be the best (on that stage).
K: This reminds me of a question that I get at the camps a lot. People ask, “are you the best diabetic athlete in the world?”. I always say I don’t think about that and I don’t really care if I am or I’m not, I’m trying to be the best athlete and skier that I can be. I don’t identify myself first and foremost as diabetic person. It’s part of who I am, I’ve never been ashamed of it. I’m very open with it and I like educating people about the disease, but it is not my primary identifier.
S: How do you rebound from Sochi, is it more metal or physical.
Audio answer
S: In regards to the answer that you just gave. I see a strong correlation between it and diabetes. Do you see that as well?
Audio answer
S: Do you have Olympic aspirations for 2018 in South Korea?
K: I’m not going to rule it out but I’d say the likelihood isn’t great. I’m will only continue ski racing as long as I can stay at a very high, international level. Definitely racing next year and if I continue to race to my standards then I will continue the next year, and the next year and that year will be an Olympic year. If I’m tired and my body is not responding to training anymore, as sometimes people don’t when they reach my age, then this next year will be my last year. But I don’t expect it to be.
S: So your professional skiing goals are to keep skiing and doing your best, and see where that leads you?
K: I have higher goals than that. I’d like a top ten finish at the World Championships next year, I’d like to stand on top of the podium again at U.S. Nationals. I think that those are both attainable goals, they are also high goals. I’m not interested in staying in the sport to watch my skills slowly deteriorate. I want to stay in while I’m still competitive and I’m going to give myself another year to do that.
S: What do you want to do after skiing ends?
K: I plan on venting my competitiveness by going into semi-pro triathlon, the very next year.
S: Aside from the competitive nature of the sport, what do you love about skiing?
K: One of the coolest things about cross country skiing is that you never have to stop, you don’t get to the bottom of a run and have to get on a lift. Every time I do it I get a little better at it, a little more efficient. To just know that I can go out and ski fifty miles without being exhausted, just kind of gliding… it is really cool. I’ve been exposed to and competed in all kinds of skiing, but cross country is what brings me back.
S: I wanted to finish by sharing something with you. The day after your NBC interview Arden went to school and talked about you during her share time. She told her class that she knew a man that was in the Olympics and that he skis on “those really difficult courses”. His name is Kris and he has diabetes just like me, he even wears the same insulin pump and CGM as me.
I explained to Kris that the kids are all aware of Arden’s type I and about how we manage her BGs during the day without her ever leaving class.
Because of our level of transparency, the other children and teachers are very aware of Arden’s diabetes. Even though they see it up close, there are still many who believe that it will limit her. I told Kris that Arden was able to stand in front of her class and tell everyone (in essence) that this person who is competing at the Olympics, this guy who looks like a superhero - he’s me. I don’t have limits.
S: I’m pretty sure that if Arden did that the next day, well, I bet a lot of kids did the same and I’m certain that people with diabetes everywhere also felt that same message of hope and fearlessness from watching you.
K: I hope that’s true, I think that so many of the limits that are placed on diabetics are based more on ignorance or outdated ideas of what the disease means. I like to say that there are no limits to diabetes as long as you take responsibility and treat it.
links
Kris is on Twitter @TeamFreebirdXC
Lilly Camp Care Package - * Camps run by the ADA and the Diabetes Education and Camping Association. Lilly supports the camps by donating supplies.
Check out Scott's book, Life Is Short, Laundry Is Eternal: Confessions of a Stay-At-Home Dad
Arden Describes a Low Blood Glucose Seizure
I had the camera out for something unrelated when Arden suddenly began to talk about a seizure that she experienced over a year before this was recorded.
Arden is three and half years old in this video, it's both heartbreaking and fascinating when you realize that she has a clear recollection of much of the event. Even more interesting is how she interprets the information. Hearing Arden describe the grunting noises that she made as her "turning into a monster" is particularly chilling.
Arden was temporarily blind and unable to speak during the seizure that she is describing. We were able to stop it in a few minutes with glucose gel.
Added 2015:
That was Arden then, this is Arden now. She is healthy, active and about as far from that little girl in the video as you can imagine.
I'm revisiting this post as a part of my podcast journey to relive Arden's Day from the beginning. Remembering the way that Arden's account of a low BG seizure (I've seen two and refuse to call them 'incidents') makes me realize why it took me so long to act boldly with insulin. I'm quite certain that as I move forward with this process of reliving the blog, I'm going to find that getting a Dexcom CGM is what allowed me to bolus with certainty while striving for closer to normal blood glucose readings.
Please don't use this video as a reason to be scared or a way to convince yourself that fear is a righteous endeavor when living with type 1. Please watch young Arden and remember that while this was once our reality, it no longer is.
I desperately want your take-away to be...
They did it and so can we!
