#1577 Catholic Guilt

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio -  Radio Public, Amazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.

Erin, 49, shares her daughter’s T1D diagnosis, twin dynamics, donor pregnancy, and the emotional weight of parenting through it all.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

---

DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Friends, we're all back together for the next episode of The Juicebox Podcast. Welcome.

Erin 0:16
I am Aaron. I am the mother of a type 112, year old daughter. If

Scott Benner 0:23
this is your first time listening to the Juicebox Podcast and you'd like to hear more, download Apple podcasts or Spotify, really, any audio app at all, look for the Juicebox Podcast and follow or subscribe. We put out new content every day that you'll enjoy. Want to learn more about your diabetes management, go to Juicebox podcast.com up in the menu and look for bold Beginnings The Diabetes Pro Tip series and much more. This podcast is full of collections and series of information that will help you to live better with insulin. Nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan or becoming bold with insulin.

The episode you're listening to is sponsored by us Med, usmed.com/juicebox, or call 888-721-1514, you can get your diabetes testing supplies the same way we do from us. Med, today's episode is sponsored by the tandem mobi system with control iq plus technology. If you are looking for the only system with auto Bolus, multiple wear options and full control from your personal iPhone. You're looking for tandems, newest pump and algorithm. Use my link to support the podcast, tandem diabetes.com/juicebox,

Erin 1:53
check it out. I am Erin. I am the mother of a type 112, year old daughter,

Scott Benner 2:00
Erin. How old was she when she was diagnosed? She was nine, nine. So that was like, two years ago,

Erin 2:06
yeah, July 28 2022 stuck

Scott Benner 2:09
in your head a bit, right? Yeah. I

Erin 2:11
hear my husband tell people when they ask him, and he's like, I don't know, it was like, summer of oh, I'm like, July 28 2022

Scott Benner 2:19
you know, I do that, and I'm pretty attached to the whole thing. So that's a boy thing. Yeah, I know if you pressured me right now, I'd be, like, I think it was in August. And then, I mean, I can guess at the date, but I'm not sure. Like, I really don't have that. I don't know. Like, you know, like, I go out, I go grocery It's my life. I go grocery shopping. I do things for like the house and everything. I'll bump into somebody out my wife will be like, Oh, you saw this person again. She starts asking me a bunch of questions about I'm like, How would I know any of that? She goes, weren't you talking to them? I was like, Yeah, we spoke for 10 minutes. But I'm not a lady or gay. I didn't ask about that stuff. And if I was, I'd have all the answers for you. But I'm like, that's not what we spoke about anyway. I don't, I don't understand what you guys like, even when you start talking, she comes back, she's like, Oh, she had a baby. It was seven pounds, four ounces. It was, you know, like this. It was a C section. Do you know what happened on a Tuesday? And I'm like, I don't know what you're talking

Erin 3:16
about. It is funny, the details we hang on to and what we don't. I would say it's since diabetes, I've let go of a lot more details that I used to hold dear so. But that one, yeah, that

Scott Benner 3:28
one you have. But why do you think that is, do you think it's because you don't have the space for it anymore? Or,

Erin 3:33
yeah, yeah, it's the space. It's also just the perspective. I mean, I'm, I'm pretty type A have in my whole life. Can't even believe I didn't prepare for today and, like, wrote out everything I wanted to say I thought I was like, I just don't care. I don't care. He'll ask me questions, I'll answer it's a conversation, not a speech,

Scott Benner 3:50
right? Yeah, look at you. Hey. That's a bit I don't know you, but that's the thing you would have done in the past. I would celebrate not doing that.

Erin 3:56
Yes, yes, it is. That is the one gift that diabetes has brought us is just letting things go, like, Did anyone die today? Did anyone die? No, okay, we're good. Let's move forward.

Scott Benner 4:06
I interviewed uh Noah gray the other day. He's the tight end for the chiefs, and he

Erin 4:11
has type one. I'm gonna have to go look him up now, since I don't know

Scott Benner 4:14
anything, he'll be on the podcast in a week or so, I got it set up through tandem. He's, you know? He's a tandem. I don't know what they call them. He wears tandem Yeah, they give him some money, and he wears tandem pump. I don't think he wears it because of that. I think that's how they find them. Nevertheless, doesn't matter. He does some work for them. And I was able to get him on the podcast. Was awesome. And so the lovely people I work with the tandem or like, Hey, could you give us some questions about what you want to ask him? And I was like, what? So I'm sitting here, I'm like, Oh, I gotta make up a question now, then I gotta maybe say it, you know, so I, you know, first thing I said was, I said it occurs to me that what he's doing is incredibly difficult. He must have some skills or experiences that allow him to do this incredibly difficult thing. That he might want to reverse engineer and put it back on diabetes. So I thought, that's a question. And I said I also realized that he knows how to succeed, but he also knows how to fail, right? Like, so I'd like to know how failure helps him, you know, that kind of stuff. And they were like, you have questions about that? And I was like, oh, so. And this is them. They're hearing this right now, by the way, for the first time like so this is me. I'm outing myself. I also took questions from listeners, which is a thing I would have done anyway, right? And so I get a bunch of questions from them, and I swear to you, I just I went to chat GPT, and I was like, Hey, these are listener questions, and I want to know this, this, and this, can you set up like a list of questions for this interview? And it spit it out. And I was like, that looks good. And I emailed it to him, and then I never looked at it again. I did look at the questions from the listeners, though, because that I wanted to make sure I get in, so I blended those in through the conversation. Anyway, the funny part here is that when we logged on, he says, yeah, they sent me questions, but I figured we just talk right that was like, right on. Man. He didn't look at those damn questions either.

Erin 6:07
But that's a thing. That's what his people get paid for

Scott Benner 6:09
right now, boys, is what I'm saying. Because both of us, he and I, did the same exact thing. We were like, I didn't really think about the questions much, and I was like, Not me either. Anyway, all right, so two years ago, and I guess I unfairly know, because I have your notes, your child's a twin. Is that? Right? She

Erin 6:26
is yes, yes. So Avery and Hadley girl fraternal twins. So not identical, two kids, same birthday. Yeah, I appreciate

Scott Benner 6:36
were you clearing that up for me or for people listening? People listening. I've made the mistake

Erin 6:41
as a mom of twins. I have to explain it all the time, so it's just kind of part of how I explain things. Now, I did it

Scott Benner 6:47
once on the podcast, and it was one of those times where I thought, like, maybe we should just edit that out, where I said the stupidest

Erin 6:53
thing. Just now a little bit of mansplaining, yeah,

Scott Benner 6:56
no, I just I had it wrong. I was like, I don't understand. I'm like, Why don't they look the same? And then the person's going fraternal. And I'm like, I mean, they came out of the same place, the same time, like twins, right? I mean, why do you keep saying twins if they don't look

Erin 7:11
the same? I know. I know. Oh,

Scott Benner 7:15
yeah. Can you tell me a little process about having the kids? Yes.

Erin 7:18
So back up a few years, my husband and I were both married previously me younger than him, and by the time we got together, he had actually already had a vasectomy. So that did not go well for now, two people falling in love who actually decided they wanted kids. So we went ahead and went with a donor, and he, he, we know he's the he, it's actually anonymous. Now

Scott Benner 7:47
you're over explaining. So the person that gave the sperm, he, we got that good

Erin 7:56
so, yeah. So long story short, we used a donor. It's anonymous, but it's what they call open ID, so that when the girls turn 18, they can find out his identity.

Scott Benner 8:05
Okay, how do you pick? Is it hair, color, height, like what do you

Erin 8:09
I totally picked. I wanted him to look like my husband, so total opposite of me. Dark hair, dark skin, brown eyes, I'm pale as a ghost, Redhead, blue eyes. So I was like, All right, we're gonna put your jeans in there somehow. So that's how I picked

Scott Benner 8:29
I want to see your wedding photo? No, yeah,

Erin 8:32
first based on looks, then based on they. It's really kind of a cool thing that you go, you get sent pictures, and then they also have to write an essay. And you have to imagine, these donors are all college frat boys, right? So to hear them put together an essay, if why they want to provide

Scott Benner 8:50
this to your parents, I need beer money,

Erin 8:53
right? Exactly, but they can't say that. So I, I actually went and read it recently, because the girls have known for years that that's how they were conceived, but they never quite asked for more information. And I said, Well, you know, I actually have, like, this little packet if you ever want to see pictures or read his essay. And Avery, actually, the type one got really interested in it, so I showed her, and she was like, Oh, he sounds so nice. And I was like, yeah, he sounded a lot nicer when I picked him. Now he just kind of sounds like a 20 year

Scott Benner 9:23
old. In retrospect, we made a huge mistake, right? I don't even mean like with picking him. I mean the whole thing, the

Erin 9:30
whole thing, it's got to be a leap, right? It is. It's definitely a leap of faith, and it's funny, we, we did, we did six tries, and I think I had a different donor picked initially, and so after a couple of tries with that one, I switched, oh yeah,

Scott Benner 9:48
and it was bad product then, or that's

Erin 9:52
what I'm assuming, yeah, we also learned from our fertility guy when I when we went in for the procedure, like the last time, and we had already decided, like this. Is it, if this doesn't happen this time, we're going to Ireland, and this just wasn't meant

Scott Benner 10:05
to be, did you mean to steal a red headed baby? What do you say exactly? Go back to my roots.

Erin 10:12
It was basically the money thing, right? Like, let's quit. Let's just take our money go on a vacation. I got poison ivy, like, a week before the procedure. So I was put on steroids, and in the procedure room, I mentioned that he's like, Oh, that actually often helps in this like, what helps it take? What do you want to call it?

Scott Benner 10:32
Did you say? Why didn't you give it to me the first time? Then I did.

Erin 10:35
It was like, if that's a known thing, why isn't that just common practice? But lo and behold, here we are, and it must have worked too well, because we got two out of got two out of the

Scott Benner 10:43
deal. No kidding. Wow. I have to say, I think that is, it's lovely that people will do that, and at the same time, like, it's interesting to hear, like your perspective is really being through it. You're like, I know they were just looking for money or for something, but like, yeah, I don't know. I

Erin 10:56
don't in the moment I felt like, oh, he really wants to give you know, he had a great childhood. He just wants to give back and sure, yeah, of course, now that I am a parent, I realize that's not really like this

Scott Benner 11:07
idiot. What am I doing here? Yeah, no, that's really interesting. Okay, so kids come out, everything went well, no, no problems there. Awesome.

Erin 11:14
They actually were preemies. Not that it really matters, but yeah, they were two months early. Oh, wow, okay, but only in the NICU for 30 days and no health issues whatsoever. They called him.

Scott Benner 11:25
They were home a month before they were supposed to be born. Exactly. Yes, yes, sufficient. Your husband didn't try saying, like, I know I've had a vasectomy, but let's try really hard for a little while. I think I can get it to go through. No, I would have made that pitch,

Erin 11:37
I'm sure. But no, I'm not that dumb. And we were still, you know, very early in the days. So that wasn't an issue. Gotcha, I wasn't saying, I wasn't saying, No yet,

Scott Benner 11:48
Aaron, you're a lot of fun. We're gonna have a good time here. Okay, so do you get medical history on the donor, or do you think the autoimmune is from you your side? Let's talk about the tandem mobi insulin pump from today's sponsor tandem diabetes care, their newest algorithm control iq plus technology and the new tandem mobi pump offer you unique opportunities to have better control. It's the only system with auto Bolus that helps with missed meals and preventing hyperglycemia, the only system with a dedicated sleep setting, and the only system with off or on body wear options. Tandem Moby gives you more discretion, freedom and options for how to manage your diabetes. This is their best algorithm ever, and they'd like you to check it out at tandem diabetes.com/juicebox when you get to my link, you're going to see integrations with Dexcom sensors and a ton of other information that's going to help you learn about tandems, tiny pump that's big on control tandem diabetes.com/juicebox, the tandem mobi system is available for people ages two and up who want An automated delivery system to help them sleep better, wake up in range and address high blood sugars with auto Bolus. You've probably heard me talk about us Med and how simple it is to reorder with us med using their email system. But did you know that if you don't see the email and you're set up for this, you have to set it up. They don't just randomly call you, but I'm set up to be called if I don't respond to the email, because I don't trust myself 100% so one time I didn't respond to the email, and the phone rings the house. It's like, ring. You know how it works. And I picked it up. I was like, hello, and it was just the recording was like, you asked med doesn't actually sound like that, but you know what I'm saying. It said, Hey, you're, I don't remember exactly what it says, but it's basically like, Hey, your orders ready? You want us to send it? Push this button if you want us to send it, or if you'd like to wait. I think it lets you put it off, like, a couple of weeks, or push this button for that. That's pretty much it. I push the button to send it, and a few days later, box right at my door. That's it. Us. Med.com/juicebox, or call 888-721-1514, get your free benefits. Check now and get started with us. Med, Dexcom, Omnipod, tandem, freestyle, they've got all your favorites, even that new islet pump. Check them out now at us, med.com/juicebox, or by calling 888-721-1514, 887211514, there are links in the show notes of your podcast player and links at Juicebox podcast.com to us Med and all the sponsors.

Erin 14:30
No, we actually get it from the donor, and that was obviously one of the first things I went and looked at. So no, I have no history of diabetes in our family, no autoimmune anything. So it was never on my radar. Looking back the donors thing, it did say diabetes, didn't say which kind, but it was for like, two really old people in his history. So I'm sure that when I read through it, I was looking for other stuff, and I'm like, Oh yeah, old people, diabetes, whatever. You know, everybody got. That diabetes. I don't

Scott Benner 15:02
know what that means. Yeah, you're, there's no autoimmune on your side of the family. You're redhead from Ireland. You don't have celiac or No, no, no,

Erin 15:11
no. I know. And I've, I mean, I've listened to so many of your episodes, and I was like, He's gonna ask me this question. You're not gonna believe

Scott Benner 15:18
people. Yeah, you find, like, a nervous aunt or anything like that. No, nothing about that. Good for wow, that's interesting.

Erin 15:24
Or maybe it's our side of the family doesn't talk either. Maybe they're hiding out there and we just don't know about it.

Scott Benner 15:30
Yeah, I was telling you a story before we started about somebody I just interviewed recently. Yeah, that's, I guess that's possible too, like, maybe they just don't mention it, don't tell anybody. I just had a guy the other day say I asked the question is on my family wouldn't say stuff like that to each other. Okay? Um, so in the first m I don't know why I just made that noise, but I prefer if that didn't happen again. I was like in the first nine years. How was their health? Generally speaking, amazing. Nothing, nothing, okay, nothing, nope. What's the first sign that makes you think something's

Erin 16:05
up? So the it's funny, obviously all the signs were there for probably a good month, but it took about a week from me really seeing something to be like we need to take her to the doctor. I still didn't think diabetes, but it was weight loss. So she came down one day we were going to go to the pool, and her bathing suit was just hanging on her, and she looked at me, she said, Mom, what is happening? I was like, Oh, I don't know, but I think we're going to take you to the doctor. And I, I'm trying to remember what Scott and I, my husband's name, Scott, what we were thinking about that night, like we were talking, I'm like, I gotta take her. I was like, something feels weird, but I can't pinpoint it. And I'm like, I don't want to go like, I don't want to know, you know, you know you have to do it, but you're like, yeah, so I'm sure we thought cancer, something like that. I called the doctor the next day, and I explained, and it was then I started to realize, I'm like, Ooh, she also has started wetting the bed again, right, a little sporadically, and she was doing it and then washing her own sheets again. She's nine. She hasn't went to bed since, I don't know, four

Scott Benner 17:16
or five, probably in her memory, she probably hasn't, right? Yeah,

Erin 17:20
yeah. I mean, she was a bed wetter longer than most kids, but not consistently so, and it had been many years.

Scott Benner 17:27
I'm reminded of all the children in my life who have told me, you know, I don't know why Mom tells people this stuff when she's talking to them, but I'm pretty sure that's going to fall into that category. Yeah,

Erin 17:36
exactly. So Avery said, as she's leaving for school, she's like, good luck on your podcast. Don't say anything to embarrass me. Well, I'm like, well, there we go.

Scott Benner 17:45
14 minutes in, you screwed that up. She was just a bed wetter longer than you would imagine, you know. So she was like, policing it up. Did she tell you? Did she wet the bed and then tell you?

Erin 17:58
Yes? Okay, yes, yes. So that probably happened two weeks, a couple of times the two weeks leading up to it. It was the is, what? How do you say? Kusma, breathing. Yeah, Kuzma. It was the breathing that really freaked me out. That was happening for two days. And of course, at the time, I had no idea what it was, but I kept asking her, I'm like, Are you all right? Like, you just don't sound right. So are you tired? Are you breathing heavy? And she's like, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm fine.

Scott Benner 18:26
So your super skinny daughter is panting for two days, right? Right? Yes, okay, yep. And at some point you think, Oh, we have to go to the doctor to find out

Erin 18:35
she's so I call the doctor and they say you should probably bring her in. Can you get here today? And I was like, Oh, she has a voice lesson. Horrible. Is this? Like, could it be they? I said she's not, you know, she's eating like everything is normal. I don't think it's that serious, but I just want to get it. Could we have an appointment for Thursday? So let's insert mom guilt

Scott Benner 19:01
there. No, no, we'll just call this episode White Lady problems. That's all. Oh, yeah, right, right. She had voice lessons.

Erin 19:07
Really truthful with you. I thought we were gonna get such bad news, but didn't realize it was immediately life threatening. But I was like, I just want to give her one more day.

Scott Benner 19:15
Oh, you just wanted to find it for her, like, a little more space, yeah. Oh, that's interesting. So can I ask you retrospectively, what would that do the day? Have you thought about it? Yeah,

Erin 19:32
I think just one more thing that she enjoyed doing, right without having that news, whatever that news was going to be, yeah, I hear that maybe it was more for me, right? Yeah, I don't know. Day of normal, I don't know.

Scott Benner 19:47
Listen, some people say things and then they're like, I know exactly why this happened. I did this consciously, and sometimes it's not so. I just like to ask, but I was up later last night working on the podcast, you're welcome. And. It's my choice, and I was up working late on the podcast, and I opened up my app with my pictures in it to find something. And you know how it just like shoves pictures in front of you sometimes. So it's a picture of Kelly holding Arden and Kohl's next door, and they're in an overlook when we enter Yosemite. And I thought, oh, that's before Arden had diabetes. Yeah, she'd gotten it so early in her life. We don't have a ton of pictures that you look at and think that about, yeah, and I swear, I just had this I got overwhelmed. And I thought about, like, I looked at the three of them, and I thought, I wonder who they were going to be, you know, like, like, I wonder what was going to happen, like, before this, because this is definitely, like, one of those things, right? Like, it's a, you know, it's a, it's a ping pong ball that gets redirected, like you're heading in one direction, and then suddenly, you know, you make a turn that you weren't going to make, and now there's a whole new path in front of you, and you know, you're not getting back to the one that you were on before, you're always going to be colored by this, this experience. And I got really freaking sad for a half a second, and then I started tumbling down a rabbit hole. Couldn't remember how long my buddy had been dead. And then I was like, I gotta go to bed. And I just like, first it was that it was, Oh, that was before Arden had diabetes. And then it was like, Oh, look how long ago that was. And oh, my God, I'm old. And then how long has Mike been gone? And then I swear to you, I just thought, okay, you know what? I'm gonna finish up tomorrow. And so I just, I just shut everything down. I was like, that's enough for tonight. I was a little too tired, but I don't know why I told you that, other than it felt like it fit there. So,

Erin 21:40
yeah, no, I, I did the same thing actually, two days ago, where my mom is about to turn 80, my sister was asking, like, hey, send me pictures of, you know, your families with her, and we're going to do this. Like 80 things we love about you, right? Super sweet. Nice. So I'm looking at pictures a we don't have many recent ones. We're just so busy and we're just it's not on my mind anymore to grab the phone and take a picture. Yeah, so I so I'm going earlier and earlier. You know, 10, 987, and need to I had that exact same feeling, I'm labeling these before and after, right?

Scott Benner 22:17
I thought I was past it, but I wasn't. It hit me pretty it hit me pretty

Erin 22:21
hard. Good to know that 20 years from now, I'll still be feeling this way. Matt,

Scott Benner 22:25
yeah, look forward to that. Aaron, in 2045 you might be sad one night while you're working on your helipad, or whatever it is you're doing at that point with your flying thing that drives itself or whatever. Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean by the way, my my friend's birthday is today, and I'm texting her and, like, by the time we're done, I'm telling her this, and I was like, happy birthday.

Erin 22:47
Glad you're alive. Like, what? Geez, I actually said

Scott Benner 22:49
to her, I'm like, I'm gonna start a line of greeting cards. What did I tell her? Hold on a second. I said, I'm gonna start a line of greeting cards that say horrible things inside. I think they'll take off. And then I gave her an example, and I said, Happy Birthday. You know how you can't remember how long it's been since your cat died? One day people will forget you too. Have an awesome day.

Erin 23:08
Oh, I know there's a market. I'm sure someone's already doing

Scott Benner 23:12
this. She sent me a book that's like affirmations that are not affirming. And I was, like, hilarious, perfect. Anyway. So I want to pivot a little here, because I like your notes, like you said something about transitioning to staying home more. So were you a working person like full time when they were diagnosed?

Erin 23:32
Yes. So we both work full time. We both still do work full time. The transition that I probably was getting into was more around her and wanting to stay home alone, right? So you have to imagine, we have these twins. We did not expect twins. We get through all of those years. We don't have no family around, really helping out. We see, we're seeing the finish line. They're getting older. They're about to be able to stay home alone. Yeah, you know all those things were like, oh, okay, we did it. We get to, like, actually enjoy our lives while we still have our children.

Scott Benner 24:08
I'm gonna smoke crack again. No, I'm sorry. I'm just kidding. I was just joking.

Erin 24:14
That's how you've pinned me already.

Scott Benner 24:17
That's the red hair. No, because so

Erin 24:23
you know when, when you first get hit with diagnosis, and I think it hits everyone differently based on the age of their kid, right? So they're not, she's nine, and because they have each other, we were getting pretty close being like, yeah, we can run to the store and they'll be okay. They're smart kids, they're pretty reliable. They're not going to burn down the house. And it just kind of threw this shadow over everything, like, oh, I can never leave her again, right? And it felt that way for a good year, I think, where I did not trust any other adult to be with her. So if it wasn't me or Scott, I. It was

Scott Benner 25:00
nobody. Do you think she felt that? Oh, yeah, yeah, 100% detrimentally or positively?

Erin 25:09
What do you say that a different way?

Scott Benner 25:11
Be clear. I wish people would just go. Could you speak English please? Like, do you think she felt that and felt comforted by it, or do you think she felt smothered by it?

Erin 25:23
Oh, I don't think she picked up on it. Oh, okay, okay. No, no. I it was more us realizing, like, okay, nobody's asking to learn about this. You know, grown ups, right? Nobody is offering to learn and stay and help. So I guess it's just us until she can do it on her own. So even when it came to like maybe finding babysitters, the first time I felt comfortable having a babysitter, I had to make sure that they had type one them. It was and I I've gone through this progression over the past few years of letting that part go. It's kind of like when you hear everybody sit first get diagnosed, they want to tell the teachers everything. They have packets of information. They're educating everybody to ad nauseam, and everyone's eyes are glazing over, and they think you're a crazy person. Now I'm just like, hey, my daughter has this thing. Don't worry about it. We just text each other. I just need your cell phone on, and I'll call you if I if she's not answering me,

Scott Benner 26:23
she passes out. Could you jab her with us? That's

Erin 26:26
really, I mean, that's really, I don't even tell them about the, about the glucagon anymore, really. Yeah, you know, I'm like, if there's a problem, I need to get a hold of you, and then I'll tell them about, hey,

Scott Benner 26:37
listen, don't look at her for a second. I know it's disturbing, but hold on, just in her bag.

Erin 26:42
If you look in her pocket, you're gonna find this thing

Scott Benner 26:46
well, so you feel better now that you've let that go. I imagine

Erin 26:49
Yes, yes. And I think it comes a just with time and experience and realizing that bad things aren't going to happen every other hour, and she has gotten so much better, but that's just a natural progression of age too. You know, nine to 12 is very different. And this is, of course, made her grow up super fast, yeah? So now, you know, we, we went from, okay, we can get sitters, but we need to educate them, or have them have type one themselves that I don't feel like I have to educate them so much.

Scott Benner 27:24
How long did it take you to find a kid with type one to babysit?

Erin 27:28
Not long. How did I find I got like, three referrals. I'm sure it was some Facebook group, some kind of, yeah, it was some kind of network group, like, how do I find a babysitter? Like, go to this go to this group. They have a whole list, and they'll send you names. That's how I found our first

Scott Benner 27:45
one. Yeah, nice. Did it actually end up being valuable that the sitter had type one, or did it never even come into

Erin 27:52
I think it was Val it was valuable for me because I didn't have to explain anything, right? So it was just, it was nice to just be like, here's her stuff. She knows how to do everything herself, but you know if you could just kind of help her with some carb counting, because you guys are having takeout tonight, or text me if you have a question about something, or if this pod falls off, you know, you wear it too, so you at least.

Scott Benner 28:19
And do you think your daughter found it comforting?

Erin 28:23
No, she did not like it. She was very embarrassed that I felt like I needed to have somebody with type 100.

Scott Benner 28:30
That's interesting. She told you about right? She did.

Erin 28:33
Oh, yeah. She's very open about how she feels about everything.

Scott Benner 28:37
Did you get like the mom? What do you like that? Or is she coming? She's like, I feel

Erin 28:42
like you're just drawing attention to it, you know. And why does it have to she's like, Why? Why does it need to be this way? And I want to be like, well, because I otherwise, I might as well just stay home. Right? Listen,

Scott Benner 28:55
if you can't be uncomfortable about this, you're gonna have to be uncomfortable about something else. Okay, so it's either this or ruining my evening. Which one do you want to be responsible for? Which is ridiculous, but definitely like you're not trying to do that, but it's how she's feeling. It's how she's feeling, for sure, I think Arden would do the same thing. Yeah, yeah. I think she'd be like, why this is not necessary? I think no matter how old they are, they think I'm okay. I know how to do this. I think if you listen closely enough to the podcast, it's true for everybody, no matter how true it actually is. Does that make sense? Yep, everybody's like, I have diabetes and I've got this and I don't need your help. And people say that if they're a 1c, is five or 13, right?

Erin 29:42
Yep, I got that lecture from her the other day. Probably another story she'll be mad about me telling but she wanted to go to her boyfriend's house, whatever that means in sixth grade, right? So I'm driving her over there and and his parents know he knows. But they don't talk about it, like, so she and her little boyfriend, they don't chat about

Scott Benner 30:04
it. How well does she know? 1112, 12? Yeah, there's no deep conversations

Erin 30:07
about, no, no, no. They're not like, how are you feeling? So I said, All right, hey, you're 15 minutes away. Like, just grab your glucagon and a Juicebox, right? Because just have that. That's just our standard thing that we leave the house with. She got real mad. She said, I'm not going to need the juice. Okay, he'll have juice, and he knows. So I can ask him if I need something. Oh, wow, all right, I'm like, but seriously, it's just, like, another thing you put in your pocket. It's not a big deal.

Scott Benner 30:41
And I don't want to, I don't want to panic you here, but you said you were married early the first time. How old

Erin 30:46
were you

Scott Benner 30:47
27 Oh, that's not early. What do you think about ridiculous, earlier in life? Oh, earlier than him. Earlier than Scott. Yes, I see as I I'm starting to hear that

Erin 30:57
like I'm younger than Scott. We both had been married previously. I see I'm

Scott Benner 31:01
just hearing that pregnant at 18, energy from your daughter right now. And I thought maybe you had like, she's like, I don't want that boy seeing this Juicebox. I don't need you telling me what to do and blah, blah, blah. I was like, oh, no, Beauty School is close.

Erin 31:19
It's the it's the I don't want to be different. And that is exactly the five minute little meltdown she had in the car. In the way was, I just want to leave the house and not have to think about this. I just want to go somewhere and not have to grab anything. And I said, I get it, and it sucks, but I ask you for two things. And then she said, But, and that she wanted to argue about it. I said, You know what? You're right, he will have juice or soda or something, and so that is fine. I will concede to that. And she but that's when I got the I know this way more. I know way more about diabetes than you do, and I know my body, and I'm awesome, Yep, yeah,

Scott Benner 32:00
sure, you do. I do.

Erin 32:03
And she does, know a lot she does, but you know, you also have to be like, but you also just said, If you started to go low, you would just put yourself in activity mode and like, that's not gonna catch it. So are you like? So, you know, she's like, that's not what I meant, you know, words. So I have to make sure.

Scott Benner 32:22
Yeah, when does the lady time start soon? Or has it already awesome? Yeah, my wife takes great Glee when I'll start over. And whenever my kids do something irritating, they she loves to look at me and go, that's you. You can see it in them. Do you guys just both put it off on the donor,

Erin 32:42
right? No, she's she's all me. Oh, really, yeah, I

Scott Benner 32:46
didn't mean in front of her. I met you and your husband. Do you go, like, you're like, oh, you know that must have been the guy. Don't you think?

Erin 32:52
No, I recognize it. It's me. It's all right. She got my good stuff and my bad stuff.

Scott Benner 32:59
Does that make it easier, that, you know, it or harder?

Erin 33:03
I think it's easier, yeah? I mean, you know, I I'm proud of who I'm. I think I'm understanding your question, like I'm proud of who I turned out to be, and I gave my mom the same

Scott Benner 33:12
problems. So, yeah, so mom's still alive, or did you have a nervous

Erin 33:17
breakdown? Yeah, right. I almost killed her twice, but she's still kicking it.

Scott Benner 33:22
Was that a joke? Or do you have two things in your head that you think you almost killed? You have

Erin 33:26
two things, but we're not going to talk about them here, in case she ever wants to hear it. And more importantly, Avery is probably going to want to listen to this, and so she doesn't need to know about these yet.

Scott Benner 33:36
Yeah, we'll just leave the cocaine smoking as a joke for now. Right, right, right. Like so you have in your notes here about effects on your marriage. I'm interested.

Erin 33:47
Yeah, sure. So I'm sure it affects every marriage ours. I feel like we went immediately back into newborn twin phase, where we knew that in order to survive, we had to just split it up. So instead of doing things together, we took turns. And that's a really good strategy, right? But you also get further apart from each other. And you know, he'll be the first to tell you that I'm the one always listening to the podcast in those you know, first few months, I was absorbing everything I could. And it's not that he wasn't. It was just a different kind of information that he was scouring. So I think I felt like I'm the only one who knows what's going on. Or, how do you not know about this yet,

Scott Benner 34:35
this episode in the way you're looking for information? Yeah,

Erin 34:39
why aren't you listening to the podcast, right? Quit going to Reddit.

Scott Benner 34:42
Reddit. Is that what he did? I was gonna say, I'm pretty popular on Reddit, so we don't want to bad mouth them at all. Okay, so you don't know how he looked for information,

Erin 34:54
no, and I but I know he did, because he would bring things to me, and I would say I already knew that. That, right, which is such a crappy

Scott Benner 35:03
way to be. How old are you now?

Erin 35:07
I am 49

Scott Benner 35:09
you're like, oh, dummy, what do you have there? Let me see, I learned that three weeks ago I

Erin 35:17
was being so upset. I mean, and I know that again, that was me. It was my way of coping. Was all right. I just have to get all the information I can and figure this out, and then we'll all be okay, right. Then nothing could go wrong, as long as I know everything. But am

Scott Benner 35:34
I right to say that you guys were like, we all do stuff together, people before this? Yes, yeah. So the four of you were everywhere together, yeah, yeah, and yeah. Do you feel like it made you I mean, did it change? Obviously, it changed things, but it changed things for the worse, the better. Did something noticeable come from

Erin 35:51
it? I think it just was different for a while. So, and it's funny, Avery noticed it, but not until, like, a year in, again, early days, when you're still finger poking all of that. I wanted to be close to her, so we have a guest room right outside of her bedroom. So we would just take turns. Whoever had the overnight shift would sleep in the guest room. Then we realized we really like sleeping apart, because we can actually sleep, right? I'm not hearing snoring. He's not feeling me get up four times to pee, and so it's just become a thing we do. It's not that we're not together, right? But when it's sleepy time, go to your own bed.

Scott Benner 36:30
That's a pretty big shift. Yeah. Do you think it's a positive shift? I think for our sleep It

Erin 36:37
is, yes, but we did realize it started to, like, the girls were picking up on it, and Avery all of a sudden, was like, Wait, are you sleeping down here for me? Oh, and

I was like, Oh.

I said, well, sometimes, you know, like it because I'm also 100% honest with her, like that was within days of diagnosis, you know, she's looking at me like, What the hell are we going to do? I said, I promise to always be honest. That's what I can promise you, we'll figure it out together. And such Are you down here for me? I said in the beginning, yes. Sometimes now still Yes, but it is not

Scott Benner 37:15
it's mostly because Daddy farts Right, right. It turns out, we've been at this a while, and I don't really need to sleep with him anymore. He seems to feel the same way, by the way,

Erin 37:30
we like to be together. We just don't like to sleep together.

Scott Benner 37:33
Yeah, no. I mean, I've heard people say that before, also, like, I don't know, like, are you at that part where you're always hot and you're

Erin 37:41
Yes, yeah, yes, right? So I don't need another, you know, heater in that bed,

Scott Benner 37:46
another heater. Did it impact your together time?

Erin 37:51
I would say diabetes has, but not that, not the overnight, no, right? But I think again, it's, it's this, how much space do you have in your head at the end of the day? Yeah. How many times do you try and then something starts beeping that you're just like, I feel like I'm causing this. You know?

Scott Benner 38:16
Am I making her blood sugar? Great. That powerful. It's hard to start and stop a lot when you're older, too, right, right? He's probably like, it's over.

Erin 38:29
That's just, if anything, and so I never want her to think that, that she caused any of that. It's just, it's time of life. It's all the things that happen to people once they've been married a long time. We're tired, we're all that. So you add this extra worry on top of it, yeah, it just makes things kind of just makes things a little bit more

Scott Benner 38:48
difficult. When she realized you were sleeping in that room for her, did it occur to you to go like, Oh no, that's not why, and then never sleep in there again? Or like, I know you told her the truth, but yeah, we

Erin 38:58
did. I mean, I started laughing, and because she I'll never forget, what did she say, something like, you get you get back up in that marriage bed and act like husband and wife. And I was like,

Scott Benner 39:09
what TV show did you hear? What crappy shows are your kids watching on CBS? Exactly

Erin 39:16
what showed you here that on,

Scott Benner 39:18
honey, I don't want you watching any more tracker or whatever else you're finding on old people television.

Erin 39:25
It probably wasn't that eloquent what you said, but, but

Scott Benner 39:27
it felt like that's what she was saying. That's what it felt like, yeah. And so, of

Erin 39:31
course, I bust out laughing. I'm like, all right. It's like she's noticed, and she thinks it's for her. And so let's, you know, maybe try to sleep together more,

Scott Benner 39:39
yeah. And clearly, now I've been a rough it with this guy because to make the kid feel better. But I mean, she had the same exact response about going to the boyfriend's house, like she doesn't want it to be about her, right? Yeah, she doesn't want any attention drawn to it. She doesn't want to be about her. Is she a person? Is she hiding her pump? Is she like? I'm assuming she wears CGM. It's like, are those things, like out in the open or no,

Erin 40:04
they are not, no, and when we talk about it, so I so interesting how you put these things on your kids and you think, you know how they're going to react to things. When we first got the news, I thought, this is horrible, but she is such an outgoing person. She's going to, like, kind of be the champion of educating people on time about type one, right? No, she immediately she had two teachers and a nurse in fourth grade that she would talk to about it. She would not talk about it with any of her friends. Same in fifth grade, sixth grade, I think she's told three people and had actual conversations about it. When I asked her about it, she, she's like, it's not that I'm hiding it, I just don't want to explain it. And I get that, I think it's probably, you know, as her mom, like, it's probably a little of all of it, you know, she, she'll be in certain situations where she doesn't care if anybody sees it. She's definitely strategically putting things places based on seasons, short sleeve shirt, Dexcom, suddenly she doesn't want on her arms, things like that, right? But I think that's so normal, right? 12 is hard. Middle school sucks.

Scott Benner 41:19
Yeah? I mean, I don't, I don't see like it. I think it's personal, but, like, you know, person to person. But I don't think it's weird if you don't want anybody to say it, yeah, not at all. I also don't think it's weird if you slap it on your forehead and you're like, I don't care who sees it. Like, I don't think about I don't watch Arden hide it at all. But she is also not looking to talk to you about diabetes, sure. So, yeah, if somebody took that as an opening, I mean, she'd be like, if you just, if you didn't know art, and you, like, rolled up on her and at some store, and you're like, oh my god, on the pot, I have that too. And she'd be like, Oh yeah, diabetes, right? And then that's it. We're gonna keep doing this, or is it over now? Like, no, I think she'd be incredibly polite. I don't think she'd be turned off by it at all. But I mean, if you're looking for her to like, like, say, hey, let's find a seat and sit down. I really want to chop it up about this. I don't think she's that person, not that person, yeah, yeah, it's pretty much, you know. And I know people who are, and I don't think either is odd. Yeah, I get that. You know, you pointed out too like it's a real that's a precarious age.

Erin 42:27
Yeah, your bangs are too long or too short, and you feel like you can't go to school. So I can't imagine what she feels like. I mean, I think, I think she's only, she's still only one of three in this huge Middle School,

Scott Benner 42:39
all right. So I feel like your example about your bangs was from personal experience, not it's not a thing. You were

Erin 42:46
making a lie. These two girls going through middle schools bringing back some serious PTSD, right?

Scott Benner 42:53
Ma, I can't go anywhere. It'll grow back in three weeks. Until then, I sit here. Okay,

Erin 43:00
I need a black sweatshirt tomorrow or life is over. You know, like, yes. I remember those feelings like, okay, just get through it. I

Scott Benner 43:10
also need eyeliner and I need a hoodie. I just, I need to explain me to cover myself and just wander through life. Yes, yes. That's interesting. I wonder what makes people feel that way, like that, self consciousness at certain ages, specifically. You

Erin 43:23
know, do you feel like Arden never went through that in middle school? A cover up time. No cover up not, not of diabetes, just like in general, of like, I'm figuring myself out, and everything's embarrassing, and,

Scott Benner 43:36
I mean, she'll talk about it in hindsight, but I never noticed that. Like, she's always like, I mean, I think sometimes Arden's artistic expression is her clothing. So I think she's always like, putting outfits together. And, like, there's not a day that goes by that somebody doesn't pull her aside and say, That looks awesome. Like, where'd you get that? Or, how did you put those two things together? Like, she just, like, she rolls through life like that, but she also doesn't want the she doesn't want any of it. She told me the other day, I don't know if I'm allowed to tell you this, let me You mean, like, the attention, yeah, she's not attention seeking. She just likes clothing.

Erin 44:17
I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for me. This

Scott Benner 44:19
is not for you. I just, I mean, like, look at these pants. Look how awesome they are. So she was walking across campus the recently, and she said she got cat called by the lacrosse team. And she said, like, they didn't she's like, I kept walking, and they didn't stop, and they didn't stop. So then it's such a funny story, because she's like, I said, what'd you do? She goes, I just gave him like the finger. And then they and I was like, did that stop him? She goes, No. And I was like, I didn't imagine it would. And, you know, like, they're like, come on. Like, you know, they they're doing that. She's, you know, the whole thing. And she said, she just kept walking. And she This is such a crazy story, like, she's seeing a boy now, and she just kept walking. And she's like, I looked up. I was busy giving them the finger, not looking where I was going. She goes, which is my mistake. I almost walked into somebody, and she's like, I pulled myself down. I looked up, and I said, I'm sorry. And she goes, it's my boyfriend. Oh my god, I almost, like, ran right through him, you know, like, out on the on a sidewalk, and then he just goes, Hey, who you giving the finger to? Because he didn't get to see any of the like, the preamble to it. But I think somewhere in that story is Arden, like, you know, she's not going to change how she dresses. And she wasn't like, I want to be clear, like, she wasn't like, uncovered or anything like that, you know, and if she was, it'd be up to her. But it wasn't the case. She's just, you know, she's a pretty girl walking somewhere, and they started talking, and, like, it got louder and louder, and then, you know, it took over, like they, you know, kind of, it turned into a pack of guys. And it's so funny, because she says to me, this will definitely get me in trouble for sharing this. So why not Aaron? She's she's telling me the story, and like, she looks to me for like response. And I go, were they, like, nice about it? Like it was, it wasn't, was it crude? And she goes, Why does that matter? And I'm like, I don't know. I'm a boy. I feel like it kind of matters, like, if it was like, crude, then like, I don't like that. I was like, but were they just yelling, hey? Like, and she's like, it doesn't matter. And I was like, by the way, I also know it doesn't matter. I was just trying to get the lay of the land. Like, what, like, were the people aggressively being

Erin 46:29
intensity of the situation?

Scott Benner 46:31
Yes, you know, intention is important sometimes. And did she care? I don't even know if I asked her now, like, Did it bother you? I don't even know what the answer would be to that, like, I just know that she just, she wasn't looking for the attention. That's all. Anyway, are the girls the same, or they very are they dissimilar?

Erin 46:49
They're very different, especially as they've gotten older. And you know one thing, the first question I usually get, you know, is, like, did we do trial net for for Hadley, and it's, it's funny. So Hadley, strangely, is my hypochondriac for no reason. She's never had anything horrible happen to her. She was like this before April was diagnosed, but that definitely hasn't helped anything. So I had, I think it was when I went to, I did go to a touch by type one conference a couple years back, and so I signed up for the package there. Totally forgot about it. Had a sitter. I'm sure she was the type one still. And when we got back that night, the sitter was like, I'm so sorry. Hadley intercepted a package and she saw her name on it and she opened it. I'm like, Oh crap. And at least she's like, I'm not doing that. She's like, I don't want to know. There's no reason to know if it happens. It happens. And so we threw the box away.

Scott Benner 47:48
Trial that right now is like, so hard. It's so hard to get people I'm also

Erin 47:53
pretty sure it would have been like, past the expiration date by the time we actually threw the box

Scott Benner 47:58
away. No, no. I mean, it's such a hard thing to get people to do, like, you send a lot of those boxes out and don't get them back. Yeah, not uncommon.

Erin 48:06
So I know I just, and again, it was an age thing. Had she been younger, I may have forced it. But, like, why already said she had a choice, so I'm gonna give her that choice. And and I, you know, I think there's some validity to that. I always see both sides. But you know, what is she going to do with the information and for her personality? Knowing isn't going to make it

Scott Benner 48:29
better again, I'll say that. I think this is a very specific thing, person to person. There are people who want to know, there are people who need to know, and there are people who would do better not knowing. Right? You know? So if that's who she is and that's who she is, that's who she is, yeah, yeah. You know, you said something earlier that I wanted to make the title, and I should have said it out loud so Rob would have heard it. Something about honesty. Did you have a saying about honesty,

Erin 48:54
or just that I'll always be honest with her? No,

Scott Benner 48:57
you said it like, in a really musical way. And I was like, oh, that's the title anyway. I guess I could figure it out on

Erin 49:05
my own, but you have no idea. I'll try to say something

Scott Benner 49:07
else, pretty great. You have no idea how much of a problem this is like coming up with the titles. Yeah, it's not easy. First of all, and when I'm

Erin 49:17
sure you have to feel like you have to top yourself each time.

Scott Benner 49:20
Listen, I got on, if you saw on, I was online this morning. I was pretty pissed. I put out an episode called Canadian danger phallus, and I was so proud of that title, and nobody really came back and talked to me about it. I was like, oh,

Erin 49:36
wasted

Scott Benner 49:38
someone to reach out about this. Like, it's a great episode about a Canadian couple, which I think is inferred in the in the title, and the husband a lot of times, if he had sex with people, they get sick. Oh, my God, it had nothing to do with anything.

Erin 49:52
But what do you mean? They'd get

Scott Benner 49:53
sick people he had been intimate with were getting like, diabetes, or like, yeah, yeah. Like, I. I think he was married to a girl who got type one. And then, if I'm remembering it right, then they got divorced, and they married the girl I was talking to, and she got type or the kid. And I'm like, I don't know. Like, I just in the middle of it. I was like, Do you think his penis is to blame? And she's like, I It's so then that's when we came up with the, she said the I've thought of that already. And I was like, of course you have. I called the episode Canadian danger phallus, and I came up with this great, like, graphic for it. It's like a frozen tree that's vaguely in the size,

Erin 50:27
ah, it's wonderful. I'll try to go look for it. Well, I

Scott Benner 50:31
mean, I work hard at that. Here's what ends up happening. It's like, you and I will record together, and then this episode will go over to Rob like it goes magically across the country digitally. You know, people don't think about stuff like that anymore. Like, of course it does, yes, God, I know how email works. But like, you know, it literally goes, like, completely across the country where Rob listens to it. He puts a bunch of processes on it. He does what he does. And in the end, the thing he does for me, that is a huge favor, is he listens for me to say that should be the title, because you'd think I could write it down, but my brain doesn't work that way. So like, and when we get to the end of this, we've tried all different kinds of things, like, we'll get to the end like you and I will say goodbye. And then we used to do this thing where I'd sit down and go, Okay, Aaron is the mother of two. They're fraternal twins, and I do like a little talk up to like, kind of encapsulate what we talked about, like you and I, but the truth is, is I can't remember. It's you talk tell your kid, talk about being embarrassed. I'm in here by myself, and eight seconds after I finished the recording, I can't remember what I just spoke about. Okay, so anyway, it's very important that when I hear the title, I go, Oh, that's a good title, because that's how we actually remember what it's letting you in on a couple secrets about how the podcast is made. I am interested. How long has it been since your daughter was like, are you sleeping down here because of May?

Erin 52:04
Oh, that was a good what, two years ago? Oh, that was in the very beginning. It was in the beginning. Yes, yes. You're very fascinated with that one part.

Scott Benner 52:13
Oh, it's all. You don't think it's crazy. You don't think, like, I mean, listen, do you live at Westminster Abbey? Like, how big is the house? It's not, well, then that's my point.

Erin 52:23
But we're on a different floor, like, our rooms on a different floor, so it's just a little more obvious. Yeah, there's stairs in between.

Scott Benner 52:30
You're like, I'm too old to walk up and down stairs in the middle of the night. Frankly, it was

Erin 52:34
when, so, especially before we before we could have the app on her phone for Omnipod five. Oh, yeah, the separate controller. So we're, you know, we've set it up. Okay, okay, okay, in the beginning, you know, we're like, whoever's on duty, yeah, I could dose her from bed. So if you're on duty, why do we both have to keep waking up?

Scott Benner 52:52
I see where'd you have Ray one saying, and it's still there,

Erin 52:55
yeah? Since diagnosis, so she was over 14, and I think in the ER, she was like, I think it just spread, you know, greater than whatever their meter was. But within the first month, she was down in the sevens, and now she's been in the sixes the whole time. Okay,

Scott Benner 53:16
and so you are very proactive with insulin. We

Erin 53:20
are very proactive. Yes. Is that my fault? It's totally your fault.

Scott Benner 53:25
Sleep in that bed. Yes, yes, yeah. People who don't listen to the podcast and be like, she'll be all right.

Erin 53:30
They're like, I don't know. I think 300 overnight is safer, so good night's

Scott Benner 53:35
sleep. It'll be fine. I'll wake up in the morning. We'll talk about it then. Okay, so you learned about you were learning, and she's growing, and she hits that and, yeah, she's popping up overnight. And you're like, I can't let her stay like this, right? Okay,

Erin 53:49
yeah, no. So finding you, I mean, I found the podcast in the hospital and then started just binge listening. And thankfully, it was the time you you already had some playlists out, right? So you already had bold beginnings. Whatever the new Yeah, bold beginnings. What's the other one? Pro Tip series? Those were already kind of compiled. So I have very distinct memories of power washing the front deck, just

Scott Benner 54:13
listening. Oh, and it actually helped you.

Erin 54:16
It did. It did absolutely, you know, and I'm, I'm sure I said it in my note. I'm sure 1000 out of 1500 people have told you that you know, you just don't get a lot of information. You only see your endo every three months, and they, all they do is say, Do you have any questions? They're not asking you or telling you and saying they don't have a plan for Okay, next time you come in, we'll talk about this strategy. Yeah, it's never like that. And maybe it's not like that for us, because we have her in the sixes, and they have all their other patients are in the 10s, I don't know, but they're kind of like, oh, you seem to know what you're doing. So our job here is done. I feel

Scott Benner 54:53
like if I ever met a billionaire, I'd be like, Oh, this is my chance to find out how to make a billion dollars. And if I looked at. And said, Do you mind if we talk about how to make a billion dollars? And he said, Sure. Do you have any questions? I'd be like, Listen, you prick. If I if I knew what to ask you, I'd be doing it already. Exactly. It's such a backwards way to approach people. Yes, yeah. So,

Erin 55:16
yeah. So obviously, we've learned everything I have. Scott's learning it from Reddit, apparently. So yes, we're definitely bold with the insulin. I even, I mean, I credit the podcast for learning. Just do a reset when Omnipod five wasn't quite doing what we needed it to do. So our settings must have been off in the beginning. And I'm like, Well, I'm just going to do some math on my own, let me look at some data and decide where we think we should be and give it a shot. And I don't think I would have done that without hearing enough stories of other people who just kind of took control, and they're fine. You know, I

Scott Benner 55:54
agree. I think being able to make an adjustment to your insulin is maybe the most paramount thing that that someone could learn if they have type one, especially over time. Yeah, I think that people who struggle into their adulthood, that's their common thread. They said, somebody told them, like, come back in three months and we'll look at it again. And they never thought about it, and they didn't look at changing their insulin. I saw a person the other day, they started taking a like, something for anxiety, and they're like, I'm low all the time now. Is your anxiety gone from the medication? They're like, Yeah, I'm like, maybe you just don't need as much insulin anymore, because you're not a nervous wreck, right? Maybe that's it. And they were like, Oh, it's so interesting that that's not like a thing that would occur to them. But then it's also not surprising that it doesn't occur to them. You know, you have to have, like, autonomy about changing your insulin. It's got to be in it's got to be in your mind. You know that, like, Oh, I'm having trouble. I should see if my settings are, are the issue. It's always your settings. It's your settings, it's timing and amount. I don't know how many times

Erin 56:58
I have to say this. I know. I know I it, then I think what I appreciate about the simplicity of the way you describe things too, is it makes it easier to describe it to Avery makes it really accessible for her. So that's all we have to say. Now, right? You know, she's like, Oh, I'm, you know, I'm going high. Whoa. It was state testing. She said, Look, I know I'm gonna go high. It's gonna be adrenaline. I don't want to hear from you. Just let me get through the test. And I was like, Well, you know, adrenaline still needs insulin. She's like, I know,

Scott Benner 57:33
instead of just accepting it, what if we just used more before? Let's just use

Erin 57:37
more even last night, we were having a failed pump. Didn't realize it at the time, and she's just we attributed it to a mistimed and calculated, gigantic snack. I asked her, you know we were I was telling her to correct and when I went and looked at her pump later in the night, when she's like, look, this isn't working. We have to change it. And she's coming to me, right? She's like, I can tell this is not going to

Scott Benner 58:01
work, by the way, when they're telling you, right, it's really not working right, because they trust me, they've tried everything they could to keep that pup on.

Erin 58:10
Yes, exactly. And she had been dose, she'd been Bolus, seen, trying to get it down before, I think, trying to pre empt me from being like, Dude, we gotta change the spot. She's like, I don't want to, so let's just keep and I was like, Oh, that. So see, that could be dangerous, right? 12 year old mind, but I'm looking, I'm like, she has given herself like, 10 unit past two hours trying to get this down.

Scott Benner 58:35
Yeah, no, I last night. Arden changed a pump. I thought too late, but, you know? And so she had a little bit of, like, a sticky high there for a while afterwards. She's like, she was like, 220 and then she got hungry again. I was like, Listen, you gotta break this number before you, before you eat again, you know? And she's like, I got it. And I said, I think you should just, I said, Can I give you a piece of advice? And she goes, Sure. She didn't say sure. She looks

Erin 59:01
at me like, Sure. That's a lie. She didn't say I was asked. I was hoping, you

Scott Benner 59:05
know, I want to be clear. She looked at me like, why don't you drop dead? And but she was listening. I just the the being accepting of the advice is what I translated into, sure, by the way. And I said, you know, I mean, she's using trio, but I'm like, I think you got to use a Temp Basal here, it's a new pod. The algorithms behind it thinks it gave you insulin. It's not going to push your basal, even if you make a big Bolus here, it's not going to move. The Bolus is going to replace the basal and the and it's going to get eaten up by the high blood sugar. And she's like, all right, fine, I'll do it. I was like, awesome. Did she do it? She did, and it worked, of course. Because, I mean, I'm the guy from the podcast, and I know what I'm talking about, but like, how frustrating that must be for her, and I think that for your kids too. Like, you know, all your kids are in the same situation, like you're the one who's like, you know, if you know what you're doing is making suggestions, and they're working, and they're trying really desperately to be good at it. Yeah. Yeah, you know, so you stepping in and being right. Sometimes it's upsetting.

Erin 1:00:04
It is. Yeah, it definitely is. And so that's that's a good story too, because I probably talked about school nurses and the transition we've gone from there, so like, fourth and fifth grade, elementary school here, amazing nurses, and really, one on one with her and me, right? Like, I became text friends with these nurses, and we're celebrating her, a one, CS together and all that jazz. Get to middle school, Avery. And we asked Avery, we brought her into the meeting. We're like, what do you want? Like, how do you want middle school to go? And she said, I never want to see the nurse. Meaning, like, I hope to be so successful, I never become friends with you, sure. And I was, Oh, God, I've never been so proud of my life. But you can tell that the nurses were a little taken aback, right? Like, ooh, but she's our responsibility. I was like, No, she's our responsibility, and you're helping, so don't worry. You know you're not in trouble. We're always watching her. I can't help but watch for her. We have a situation where she keeps her alarms off, just because that's how we started, and now we just have kind of been like, we'll text you if you need to do something. Now, it's not to say she doesn't watch herself. She can't help herself either. Look at her number throughout the day, but that's just kind of this thing that we need to probably start working on, especially when she wants to be

Scott Benner 1:01:26
alone. Aaron, I hear, I can't help myself. I hear red hair. I hear Ireland. I hear Catholic guilt. I hear Catholic guilt. Did you find a way to pass that on to a kid?

Erin 1:01:37
Yeah? Oh yes, yes, so,

Scott Benner 1:01:41
but not the other one. Let's finish this. No, only the one. You're like, let's finish this story first. Okay, good. Yeah,

Erin 1:01:48
different story. So, nurses, we have a texting thing. We came up in our five before. We're like, look, we will be in direct communication with Avery. We will text you nurses when we've asked her to do something, or if she's not responding to us and we need you to go grab her, that was the agreement. It has worked out pretty well, except for currently, Avery is just kind of going through a I can't be bothered to push two buttons. So the lunch Bolus is not always going through. We are not making a huge deal out of it. She always gets it later. I of course, it hurts me every lunch to see this blood sugar shoot up when you know it doesn't have to, but the nurses, it's really starting to bother so we're so it's like clockwork every day at school, 12 O'Clock Pre Bolus. Yes, I did it. Hour later, blood sugar starts going up. Did Avery Bolus? Has Avery made a correction? And we're like, yes, yes, yes. I'm like, it is going to be this way every day, unless we punish her for not pre bolusing. And I'm not doing that to her. We are about balance right now. This is her time where I'm not I'm just not gonna picking my battles. Picking my

Scott Benner 1:03:00
battles. Have you asked her directly about it? Oh yes, yes. What's the answer?

Erin 1:03:05
It is, I thought I did it to and she's again, she's such a good kid. She answered me honestly. I was rushing out to recess. I thought I hit it. I didn't want to. I was busy with my friends. Don't worry about it. I'll get it when I come in. You know, it's been all the answers

Scott Benner 1:03:23
I understand. I'll just listen if I if I'm starting to die, I'll put it in exercise mode. Don't you worry, right? Exactly. I got this all worked out. Lady, okay, I've got the internet. I don't know if you're wearing this tonight. You're old. You probably don't understand it as well as I do. Actually, you are a little, excuse me, old for their age, aren't you? I am, yeah. Is there a wider generation gap there? Is Right? Yeah. I mean, I couldn't manage a 12 year old right now. I'd be like, Listen, you little idiot. See all the things you people think on the on the tick tock, and you're moron. That doesn't happen when you're when you're younger, and young

Erin 1:03:57
kids? Yeah, no, I'd like to, I think I I'd like to I think they talked to me a lot, so I like to think I'm kind of current with how they

Scott Benner 1:04:07
would respond. How you like to think, Aaron,

Erin 1:04:11
I like to think it,

Scott Benner 1:04:12
oh, my God. The other day, Cole goes, You know what dad's dad would have done? Because somebody was like, Oh, that really hurts again. I've said before, like, my dad would just hit you and go somewhere else and be like, I'm like, this hurts. They hit you somewhere else. You'd be like, do you still feel it? I'd be like, No, actually, I feel this down. Like, hey, it's all fixed. But anyway, that's 1970s a lot of you didn't live through it, you know. Like, I wonder, like, how many generations away from how you think until I hear what you're saying, and I don't disagree with you. Like she's having a moment, right? And you don't want to cause, you don't want to cause a problem, but at the same time, like there's got to be an end date to this, right? Like you can't, how long has it been going on?

Erin 1:04:53
It's just been this year. Oh, and then, not even only, she goes in waves too. Okay? One endo appointment. She she had us like it was a 6.4 and she goes, I want to get in the fives. I was like, All right, I can help you get there. Like it's a lot of work, and you're gonna have to pay attention. And guess what, you're gonna have to pre bull school lunch. Oh, all right.

Scott Benner 1:05:18
It's such an interesting thing like that. One issue is so interesting.

Erin 1:05:23
Just that one and I'm like, and you're with your friend, where you she knows all you're doing is pushing a button. You're not like, pulling out a vial and a needle, and you're pushing a button on your phone, and everyone has them. I'm so confused. Nobody's even looking at you. No one's even looking but I think it's a mess again. Girl thing I just feel for I think it is just, I just don't want to think about it for a hot minute. This is my time. And so I being raised Catholic, as you've already picked up on, and my mom and I have in a very different relationship than I have with my girls. You know? I'm like, Ah, this is where my mom would have pushed me, and it would have made it worse. Is there not a middle? The middle? Is time the middle is growing up?

Scott Benner 1:06:08
Well, I don't know how much time you have allotted for this, but I'll just tell you that you're describing a relationship I have with my daughter, and she's 21 I'm going to say at least nine more years. I just think, I think it's people. I just think your daughter matured a little faster, yeah, yeah. And she's, she's just asserting herself and where she can. She's finding control, where control is available. And this is a good one, because it's not a thing she wants to do anyway. It's not a thing that she caused. It's not, it's a thing you're involved in. It's a thing she doesn't want to do. Like, this is a great thing to ignore, right?

Erin 1:06:45
But she, but she only ignores it every you know, she only ignores it at very certain times. And I think that's why, and that's that's when you're only having these very short text conversations with a school nurse. You know their hearts in the right place. But I'm like, Look, this is going to happen every day. We don't have to keep texting about it.

Scott Benner 1:07:03
Yeah, well, they do, because they're, they're thinking of it differently than you are

Erin 1:07:07
so but I'm thinking, I'm thinking, next year in the 504 we take them off follow, okay, and we just say we will text you if we need you to get her,

Scott Benner 1:07:19
why don't you leave them on follow for low alarms and not high alarms. That's a really good idea, too. Thank you. Thank you. You don't have to thank me.

Erin 1:07:29
What you think I'm not always watching and won't text him anyway if she's

Scott Benner 1:07:32
getting low. Well, let's get to that arm. Because first of all, like, the thing,

Erin 1:07:35
where do I have school nurses looking if I'm already managing?

Scott Benner 1:07:38
No, why are you looking so like, I mean, what is it you're trying to save her from by not having her be aware of the alarms? Embarrassment? Okay? Would you be embarrassed by no no when you were a kid? Would you have been probably okay. So is she embarrassed? Or are you preemptively trying for not to be embarrassed?

Erin 1:07:59
She's embarrassed. Okay? Because I've even, we've talked about, like, Okay, you want to do these things. We need to put your alarms on too. You want more freedom than and you don't want a grown up with you. You need to have your alarms on. And she's like, Oh, I don't want that thing beeping when I'm with a group of friends. Like, Well, what about vibrating? Right? Like, yeah.

Scott Benner 1:08:24
I mean, listen, tell her I've got a list of things I don't want to happen that happen every day. I know your idea is you're trying to get her to it slowly, exactly. Yeah. Do you think it's working? I do. Okay. Am I Joking aside? How many years until you think you've got her

Erin 1:08:39
there? I think by high school? We're Oh, wait, wait, wait. Do you mean how long are like, we gonna be good together, or no? How long until she's managing on her own, listening to alerts and such? How

Scott Benner 1:08:51
long do you think until you that's a good question. How long do you think until she's like, All right, yeah, I need to do this. So, like, let's turn the alarms on eighth

Erin 1:08:59
grade. I can already see it happening this summer. Okay, honestly, because she's she's wanting to do things where another adult won't be present, and she knows that that that's going to be the rule, and she wants it so badly that she'll be like, All right, fine. Well,

Scott Benner 1:09:14
this is one of the benefits of you being an older parent, too. I think there's a lot of wisdom in what you're doing. I hope so. Yeah, I don't think you would have come up with this when this when you were 28 probably not 28 but

Erin 1:09:25
God, some days you still think like I don't. I could still be totally screwing this up. I don't know. Oh no,

Scott Benner 1:09:30
you are. But I just thought not, don't we're all I just went over this the other day in the podcast. Everyone's screwing everything up all the time. Everyone wants the opposite of what they get. You're in a losing battle. Let's get past that. Okay, let's get past it. Remember all the things your mom did wrong? Yeah, she thought she was doing everything

Erin 1:09:48
right. I'm just doing different things wrong. Yes,

Scott Benner 1:09:50
yes, no, and you're not doing anything wrong. My point is, is that no matter what you do for another person, they want the opposite? Yeah, I don't know why. And girls, I'll just go out and let. And say this girl's a little extra so, like, I'm seriously. I mean, no, I 100% agree. Yeah, yeah, Listen, ladies. I mean, I've never seen a group of humans that just want whatever it is. They don't have more than you, okay. But like, also, I think that is part of like, I think it fixes guys. Like, like, when men and women get together. And men are just like, Yo, we could just keep having sex and watching these movies. And you're like, what if we had a sofa that didn't smell? And like, you know what I mean? Like, Oh, she got me focused on this making money for a sofa thing. And that's very valuable. Like, for, listen, I'm speaking for my wife at this point, right? Like, my wife was like, I want this. Like, I want us to be here. It's not even, I don't mean a physical material thing. I want us to be here. And she'd get me there, and then she'd be like, All right, well, I've set some new goals for it. And I'd be like, what where do you remember that time we had sex in the shower and you were in college, like, Can we do that again? Or is that how you tricked me into making sure the sofa didn't smell? I don't know what's happening, but she's very good at improving our situation constantly, or improving for the kids, or improving for anything. Like, I think it's baked into you guys. Like, seriously, I don't know a lot about anything, but like, it feels like that. I also think it gets misused sometimes. That's another podcast. We're not going to talk about that here. But like, Do you know what I'm saying, like, you're like, it's hard and and you you give things to people that you're like, I know this is what you need, because I have experience, and I know that this would help you. And no matter what you give, they're gonna say, that's not you don't know me. That's not what I need. You can't win. Like, there's no winning. If I gave you 1000 babies, this would happen with every one of them. Please don't do that. No, no, no, except for the one where it didn't. And then you'd be like, Oh my God, this one is awesome. And then I'd interview that 125 years later, and she would say, actually, she was doing everything wrong. I just, I'm such a people pleaser, like I didn't want to, I didn't want to tell her, anyway, we don't belong together, is what I'm saying, which you figured out when you got in that bed, you were like, this is way better. Can I ask? I know I've gone back to it six times, but did it ever hurt your feelings? Like when he felt that way? Like, I know when you were like, this is way better. I don't have to hear him snore. But when he agreed, were you? Like, how come he thinks that? No, no,

Erin 1:12:24
because we also both go through this when we're like, God, I really miss you. You know, it's nice. It's there's no rift in this

Scott Benner 1:12:32
marriage. I'm not saying I don't smell that. Yeah,

Erin 1:12:36
it's just that isn't where our connection really comes from. So we're both just very and maybe it's second marriage stuff too, and you just know yourself better. This has no significance to the big picture here.

Scott Benner 1:12:49
Yeah, no, again. I think it's a value just really, like our sleep. I think it's another value of you being an older parent and, and, yeah, actually, like, you know, I'm not advocating for you all getting divorced, but the truth is, if you got married and then got divorced four or five years later and they did it, later and then did it again, it would

Erin 1:13:04
probably go way better the second time. Ah, hell, we're not planning on that. No,

Scott Benner 1:13:08
no, I didn't mean you guys. I met everyone listening. Like, yeah, you guys have already been married. You

Erin 1:13:12
had, I see what you're saying, yes, yeah, it's gonna go better the second time, most likely, yeah, unless, and if not, you're really bad at

Scott Benner 1:13:19
this. You're just a glutton, like, he just reached back out and, like, I got the same guy again. This one I definitely can fix.

Erin 1:13:30
It's gonna be different. This story

Scott Benner 1:13:32
really. Well, no, oh, I'll write back to the same thing. Sorry. I want to say to you, like, right before we started, you were like, I have a great Catholic story. But like, do you want to tell it here at the end?

Erin 1:13:41
Sure, sure. Okay, so Hadley, my non type one. She comes home the other day telling us about this, and actually, we got a we got a notice from the school. There had been an incident at school. Some kid ran after a ball into the street, kind of got clipped by the side mirror of a car. Kids, okay, from all I can tell, Hadley comes home, and Hadley is the first to be like, are we done with dinner yet? Because I got stuff to do, right? So she's antsy. She's like, can I clear the table yet? Can I clear this table yet? She's hanging out long and like, she'd stand up and then she'd sit back down. It's almost like she's waiting for Avery to leave. So Avery leaves eventually, and Hadley goes, I gotta tell you something, that kid who got hit, I think I caused it. Whoa, what? And she goes, yeah, so he's the guy who's been picking on my friend that I told you about, and I wished that something bad would happen to him, and so I'm pretty sure I caused this. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm like, that's not how these things work. And then she goes, Yeah, it kind of reminded me of the time that some other kid was saying something about God, like you don't believe in God, or she goes, I am God. And then Avery got diabetes, so I'm pretty sure I offended God, and that's what happened. And then you guys stopped

Scott Benner 1:14:57
going to church because you realized it was screwing up your.

Erin 1:15:00
Hands because I was like, Wow, do you have this Catholic guilt, and I didn't even raise you Catholic. What's happening here?

Scott Benner 1:15:08
It's in the either of them, redheads.

Erin 1:15:11
No, they both. I got the complexions I wanted for both of them. They're both dark hair, dark skin, lovely. All worked out the way I expected. That's right, they don't need as much sunscreen as I do. I am

Scott Benner 1:15:23
saving a ton of money on sunscreen right now. So she thought she had those magical thinking ideas. She thought,

Erin 1:15:30
yeah, yeah. She thought I and so we had a good talk about it, and then she's like, I mean, I know, I didn't, you know, but the fact that she hung out, she wanted to talk about this, it did worry her a bit.

Scott Benner 1:15:41
Yeah, I thought you were gonna say she actually did something like two. Because, no, I know, I know how you just said no, except in 1976 in kindergarten, I think we tripped a kid on the monkey bars and he fell and hit his head. Oh, but not on purpose, like we weren't trying to make him fall. Sure. Listen, I am 53 is one of my enduring memories, that some kid fell off the monkey bars, and I feel like the group of people I was with was somehow, somehow involved in it, yeah, oh, I can't shake it. So it must have

Erin 1:16:10
happened anyway, or you just have some Catholic guilt.

Scott Benner 1:16:13
I mean, I definitely don't have that. I made 1,000,000% I don't have that. I don't really have guilt about anything, as you know, has been shown six or seven times during this last hour, and I've said things I definitely shouldn't be recording. So I don't care. I just, I like having the conversations. I think this is how you have conversations. Yeah, you know, is there anything we haven't talked about that we should have?

Erin 1:16:39
No, I think we've, we've gone all over the place, and, you know, the the one thing I actually almost canceled a few times, and Avery asked me why, and I was like, because I feel like this is your story, not my story, and I just, and I just really want to do it justice, and I don't feel like I did, like, I feel like we just kind of touched on A couple things. But, you know, like her whole diagnosis story, there was a there was a lot to that, and then I'm realizing it's not that important for this podcast that I share all

Scott Benner 1:17:09
of that, right? If you want to dig deep in that and record that, I guarantee you no one's going to listen to it first of all, exactly, right? I think you'd listen back to it and you realize, oh, I could just go to therapy if I want

Erin 1:17:21
that, right? And, you know, there's those pieces that, yeah, it's, it's our story, and it can just be our story. The world doesn't need to know it.

Scott Benner 1:17:31
I think it's more fun like this, and I think it's more helpful this way, like, I mean, you've shared a lot of things that people will be helped by. I know it's hard to like imagine that in the moment, but I've gotten a time back in my life because Rob is doing all the editing now, which has been like a blessing. And that's not a word I even use, but trust me, it has been, and one of the things that's given back to me is the opportunity to listen to the podcast. So what happens is, like, you know, you and I have this conversation again. Like, I can't really, like, you guys can all out there Listen, try it right now. When the podcast ends, stop and try to talk two minutes to yourself and tell yourself what the podcast is about. You're gonna miss most of it, right? And yet, I know that everything works out because of the response I get from the listeners. And the one thing I used to do that I lost track of was I used to listen to the show once in a while, and, like, after it was done, to hear what you guys are hearing, and I wasn't able to do that anymore. I'd gotten so busy that I just couldn't accomplish it. And lately I've been, like, making sure to listen to an episode or two a week. And I usually kind of let, I mean, I don't want to give away all the secrets, but like, I usually just let Isabelle Tell me. She's like, she'll be like, re listen to this one, like, and I'm like, Okay. Or sometimes I, like, I listened to today's episode last night, like, before I went to bed, it's called rub some dirt on it. It was really good. Like, she did such a great job. I found myself, thank God. I hope people hear this, you know, so this will be the same thing. I have a vibe. I may be not able to like articulate it right now, but this went really well. It's going to help a lot of

Erin 1:19:07
people. I hope it does. And you just reminded me that, truthfully, all the episodes I've listened to, what did I really get from them? A couple of snippets, and just like, Oh, someone else out there is going through this too.

Scott Benner 1:19:20
Yeah, you get community out of it, and it's really valuable. And listen to

Erin 1:19:24
God, Oh, I was gonna tell you I just texted Avery to that. Scott Benner says to Pre Bolus,

Scott Benner 1:19:30
awesome. We'll see if that works. Let her hate me. Yeah, I don't mind, by the way. I'm used to it. I'm accustomed to

Erin 1:19:38
everybody not liking me. Well, she wants to come on, so I'll figure that out. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:19:42
she wants to do it like this summer. She can jump on and do it. Yeah? Is she gonna talk?

Erin 1:19:47
Oh yeah. She said, when I said I'm gonna cancel, she goes, I'll do

Scott Benner 1:19:51
it. Oh, awesome. Yeah, get her on here. I'll let her talk you for an hour. That'll be

Erin 1:19:55
awesome. She's like, I need to tell my side of the story. Okay, did

Scott Benner 1:19:59
she tell you that story? Worry about how she threw my dad out of the bedroom.

She put that weirdo in charge of babysitting me because she had diabetes,

Erin 1:20:14
just like but now she lets me stay home alone. It's amazing.

Scott Benner 1:20:17
Yeah, much better. Oh, well, I still listen. If you want to tell her anything, tell her I still want her traveling with a Juicebox. I don't care. Yeah, I don't care if there's one in the house or not. Like, I don't want you, like, in a panic looking for it in his house or, great. I don't want something happening in the car on the way over. By the way, you guys all have already

Erin 1:20:35
had it in the car. And that did happen. Actually, she started to drop a little, and she goes, Man, guess I'm glad this Gatorade is here. I swear

Scott Benner 1:20:43
to God. Were you able not to say anything because I'm not good enough of a person? I would have been like, We both laughed. We both laughed 1112, I wouldn't have cared. I've been like, hey, look what just happened you. I told you, I win.

Erin 1:21:00
She and that's the thing she knows. She knows. She just wants to, you know, be in charge of it, but she should. That's why I'm doing it the way I'm doing it, because she needs to take it over and want to own it. So listen, I

Scott Benner 1:21:13
don't, I don't want to give away all the secrets here, but I gotta tell you, that's what today's episode is about. It's about the honesty and your level, I think of emotional intelligence. That really is what I think you shared today, if I'm being honest, like that's what I think this is about. So you might not see it that way, but I really think you, being an older parent has been really valuable. A lot of your insights were valuable too

Erin 1:21:36
All right. Well, hopefully I won't die too soon. Then keep her Oh, I see what you're saying, because I'm an older parent. Oh, hold on, 56 Oh, you'll be because I also promised her day two, she's like, What if I can't afford insulin? I was like, you never have to worry about that. I'll always make sure you have insulin.

Scott Benner 1:21:54
And I'm like, oh, one day I will be dead, yeah. How are you gonna make sure that I don't know, I don't know. Do you have, like, a million dollars in the bank or anything? No, well, what are you doing on this podcast? Go make some

Erin 1:22:04
money. I know I better. I'm sure work is like, where? Why isn't she answering our team's messages like

Scott Benner 1:22:10
she said, By the way, the COVID thing, it helped me so much make the podcast. People used to be like, well, I need to do it exactly this time. Now. People are like, Oh, whenever it's fine. I'm like, like, you guys don't work at all anymore. Do you My God? All right. Well, thank you

Erin 1:22:24
very much. Thank you. Thank you so much. Hold on one second.

Scott Benner 1:22:31
For me, this episode of The Juicebox Podcast was sponsored by us Med, US med.com/juicebox, or call 888-721-1514, get started today with us. Med links in the show notes. Links at Juicebox podcast.com, today's episode of The Juicebox Podcast was sponsored by the new tandem Moby system and control iq plus technology. Learn more and get started today at tandem diabetes.com/juicebox check it out. I can't thank you enough for listening. Please make sure you're subscribed or following in your audio app. I'll be back tomorrow with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. When I created the defining diabetes series, I pictured a dictionary in my mind to help you understand key terms that shape type one diabetes management. Along with Jenny Smith, who, of course, is an experienced diabetes educator, we break down concepts like basal, time and range, insulin on board and much more. This series must have 70 short episodes in it, we have to take the jargon out of the jargon so that you can focus on what really matters, living confidently and staying healthy. You can't do these things if you don't know what they mean. Go get your diabetes to find Juicebox podcast.com go up in the menu and click on series. The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording, wrong wayrecording.com. You.

Please support the sponsors

---

The Juicebox Podcast is a free show, but if you'd like to support the podcast directly, you can make a gift here. Recent donations were used to pay for podcast hosting fees. Thank you to all who have sent 5, 10 and 20 dollars!

Donate

#1576 Low and Behold

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio -  Radio Public, Amazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.

Brenda shares her powerful journey through type 1 diabetes, cancer, RA, thyroid issues, and lifelong resilience against autoimmune challenges.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

---

DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Friends, we're all back together for the next episode of The Juicebox Podcast. Welcome.

Brenda 0:14
Hi. My name is Brenda. I am a 56 year old grandmother, and I'm excited and overly joy to be speaking to all of you today. If

Scott Benner 0:28
this is your first time listening to the Juicebox Podcast and you'd like to hear more, download Apple podcasts or Spotify, really, any audio app at all, look for the Juicebox Podcast and follow or subscribe. We put out new content every day that you'll enjoy. Want to learn more about your diabetes management. Go to Juicebox podcast.com up in the menu and look for bold beginnings, the diabetes Pro Tip series and much more. This podcast is full of collections and series of information that will help you to live better with insulin. Nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the contour next gen blood glucose meter. Learn more and get started today at contour next.com/juicebox this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Medtronic diabetes and their mini med 780 G system designed to help ease the burden of diabetes management, imagine fewer worries about Miss boluses or miscalculated carbs thanks to meal detection technology and automatic correction doses, learn more and get started today at Medtronic diabetes.com/juicebox this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the twist a ID system powered by tide pool that features the twist loop algorithm, which you can target to a glucose level as low as 87 Learn more at twist.com/juicebox, that's twist with two eyes.com/juicebox. Get precision insulin delivery with a target range that you choose at twist.com/juicebox, that's t, w, i, i s t.com/juicebox,

Brenda 2:25
hi. My name is Brenda. I am a 56 year old grandmother, and I'm excited and overly joy to be speaking to all of you today.

Scott Benner 2:38
Brenda, I appreciate you doing this. Thank you very much. You are so welcome. You're very kind. Let me ask you a question right out of the gate. It's got nothing to do with anything. How old were you when you had your first kid?

Brenda 2:49
I had my first child at 17. He was born November 10, and I turned 18 on November 16. The reason I did that is because I thought I was going to die. By the age of 50, I was going to be dead and buried, because being a diabetic, I didn't think I was going to live a long life. So I got married at 17. I wanted to have a family. I come from a huge family of seven, and I just wanted to be able to, you know, be a wife, be a mom, and enjoy life. Wow,

Scott Benner 3:33
how many kids are brothers and sisters with you?

Brenda 3:36
I'm of one of seven. So I have six siblings. You know, I was

Scott Benner 3:40
going to say, after I said it all like, garbled, like that. There's another way to say that. Scott, you could have just said, How many siblings do you have? Again, but Okay, so you're, you're one of seven. Is it a pretty even mix? Boys? Girls?

Brenda 3:52
No, five girls and two boys, okay, which in turn we have three Anthonys. Well, Antoinette, they wanted a boy so bad, and, you know, and they waited, and I think Martha attributed onto number four is Antoinette, because they wanted a boy so bad. And then after number four, I was number five, and they still wanted a boy. So we have Antoinette and Anthony both named after my father.

Scott Benner 4:21
Very nice. How old were you when you were diagnosed type one? I was eight years old. You were eight, Brenda. You have to give me a second, because you sound so incredibly like a woman I know named Brenda that I my brain has to keep telling me you're not her. It's that. It's Oh,

Brenda 4:39
that's a little bit scary. I may know you,

Scott Benner 4:42
it's crazy. Is there any chance you're from the Indiana area, Chicago? That's pretty close

Brenda 4:48
to there, isn't it? What grade school did you go to? I'm

Scott Benner 4:51
just kidding. I'm not from there, but you have type one at eight years old. Do you have any other autoimmune issues

Brenda 4:59
at eight? But it was just the diabetes through the years. I have had cancer, breast cancer. Five years ago, just hit the five year mark, and you know, rheumatoid arthritis, thyroid, I've had surgery on basically every one of my fingers and both of my wrists for carpal tunnel, trigger finger, frozen shoulder, tore, meniscus, arthritic feet. But life goes on and you live and you're happy for tomorrow, and you just push yourself through it. So

Scott Benner 5:38
you have a pretty mixed bag of of autoimmune stuff going on and issues. How about your sisters and your brothers?

Brenda 5:45
Actually, everybody's relatively healthy. There's rheumatoid in one one sister, one sibling, but my brother, I actually diagnosed him. I was about maybe six months into being a diabetic. You know, back then, you would get a little test tube with an eyedropper, and you'd have to put a little pill, and you would test your urine, and you would have to check the color, yeah. And, you know, back in the day, there was just everything seems so complicated, and I was testing everybody's urine in the house, and my brother's urine changed to color, and I was like, he's sick, he's sick, and nobody believed me. And I went to the doctor, and my next appointment, I was like, my brother's pee changed to color, and nobody understood, and they checked him, and to this day, he's like, You made me a diabetic.

Scott Benner 6:48
No one knew he had told them. Wait, were you born exactly? You Born in the mid 60s? Yes, 67 Okay, so in like 19, I don't know, 70 something, you're running around telling your family. I figured out the kids got the bees and nobody would listen to you.

Brenda 7:04
Well, yeah, they were just like, oh, no, he's and I was like, No, I'm telling you, like, it changed colors. So sure enough, they took him in. And I was like, wow, he had a simple just go in check him. He's a diabetic. Me, I ended up, I used to spend the summers with my grandmother and I apparently urinated all over her, as she would call it, Davenport, which is a sofa. She used to call it a Davenport.

Scott Benner 7:32
You don't have to tell me. My grandmom had a Davenport. I know what you're talking about. Yeah,

Brenda 7:37
they were the best. I would go there, I would actually take three busses to get to her house. I make it sound like they put an eight year old on the bus by themselves. But back in those days, it was different, you know, it was safe,

Scott Benner 7:53
you know, I don't know how safe it was, but you know, it was different. That's for sure. It was

Brenda 7:57
different. So I, you know, my grandmother didn't drive, my mom didn't drive, but I would go spend the summers with my grandmother, and my mom didn't see me for like, a month, and I came home and I was extremely underweight. My face was all sunken in. I think I was 60 pounds or 40 pounds back then, I think it was 60. I actually have a picture of myself, and I looked I was like, Oh, my goodness. I cannot believe that none of you guys saw that I was sick. Like, this was okay. I

Scott Benner 8:33
can't I can't believe you had to take three busses to get to diabetes. That's terrible. Oh, let me tell you. So there's a lot going on here that people don't understand. I would imagine, if you're younger, like, you got on three busses to go visit your grandmom. You weren't coming back a day or so later. You hung out for a few weeks, right? Like my dad, oh yeah, yeah. Used to take me to my grandmother's house on a Saturday, and he'd be like, yeah, I'll see you next week and come back and get me next Saturday. It was like, during the summer, like, this is all very common. I think I don't know that people understand how great a modern vehicle is still. And I know this makes me sound like super old, which I'm not that old, but cars used to suck, like now that the cheapest car you can buy is awesome. You know what I mean Exactly, yeah, yeah. It's quiet inside and warm or cool and comfortable. And when you steer it, it goes where you mean for it to it stops like these are not things we these are things we would have taken, you know, for granted today, that cars didn't just do in the 70s and 80s. Sometimes

Brenda 9:35
my mother would put me on the bus. I'd have to sit at the front, and she would tell the bus driver, she needs to get off at a certain stop, which was Milwaukee, and I would have to get on, and then I would have to take the bus down to the Statue of Liberty. Thus the reason I'm still a landmark person. So I would then have to take the Statue of Liberty to the drugstore, and then I'd have to take the drugstore to the meat market, and that's how I got to my grandmother's house. Did

Scott Benner 9:59
you walk to your grandma? Other center, was she meeting you? No, that was on the bus. You know, I'm saying once you got off at Meat Market. Was she their mother was waiting for me? Yeah, they weren't, yeah, and they weren't irresponsible. No,

Brenda 10:11
no, she was standing, she was standing at the bus stop waiting for me. But yeah,

Scott Benner 10:16
it was like, how long of a ride do you think that was that whole trip?

Brenda 10:19
Oh, goodness, who knows? I don't know if it was very long or not, but it was, it seemed like forever, but it was so exciting to go spend the time with my grandmother.

Scott Benner 10:29
Yeah, that's awesome. Okay, so your grandmother gave you diabetes. You gave diabetes to your brother. That's all very nice.

Brenda 10:34
And my brother gave it to his son. And actually then, and this is through the years, well, but going back, I came home and they saw me, and, you know, I have four older sisters, they had to trick me into going to the hospital. My sister was like, oh, you know, can you come with me? I have to go see, you know, I have an appointment. And I was like, Yeah, you know, I'm gonna go with you. And then she's like, I love you so much, but this is for you, which, you know, I say I was eight years old, which I was, but apparently I was, like, a very strong eight year old, or at that point going on, you know, eight and a half going on to nine. I was admitted into the hospital through the emergency room with my sister. I'm like, why am I in the emergency room. I was in the hospital for a month, a month, wow, yeah, they, they says, If I would have waited a day more, I would have went into a coma. And I was admitted into the hospital. Was in ICU, and I remember looking there, and it was near, you know, I looked out the window and there was, like, this huge building with a swimming pool next on top of it, and I'm just laying there, like, Are you kidding me? And the nurses would come in and she would if the blood flowed back, these are the things I remembered into my tube from IV. She would wrap it around the pen so it would go the other way. And I just hated that. I was like, oh, here this nurse comes again.

Scott Benner 12:08
Were you like, an incredibly strong willed kid? Like, why did they have to fool you into going,

Brenda 12:13
yes, and that hasn't changed. Okay, it's interesting

Scott Benner 12:17
because you're like, you're mild monitored when you're speaking. But the incongruous. Oh yeah,

Brenda 12:22
no, I the youngest of five. I cried and basically got everything I wanted. I was spoiled. They all loved me. Yeah, that's

Scott Benner 12:30
what they told you. Huh? That's what they told me. So let's kind of like zip around a little bit here for a second, because we'll get back to the diabetes diagnosis in a second. But what about those next nine years made you feel like I need to get married the second it's okay make babies and live a whole life, because I'm out of here fast. Did they tell you that the brand new twist insulin pump offers peace of mind with unmatched personalization and allows you to target a glucose level as low as 87 there are more reasons why you might be interested in checking out twist, but just in case, that one got you twist.com/juicebox, that's twist with two eyes.com/juicebox. You can target glucose levels between 87 and 180 it's completely up to you. In addition to precision insulin delivery that's made possible by twist design, twist also offers you the ability to edit your carb entries even after you've bolused. This gives the twist loop algorithm the best information to make its decisions with, and the twist loop algorithm lives on the pump, so you don't have to stay next to your phone for it to do its job. Twist is coming very soon, so if you'd like to learn more or get on the wait list, go to twist.com/juicebox that's twist with two eyes.com/juicebox. Links in the show notes. Links at Juicebox podcast.com Today's episode is sponsored by Medtronic diabetes, who is making life with diabetes easier with the mini med 780 G system, the mini med 780 G automated insulin delivery system anticipates, adjusts and corrects every five minutes. Real world results show people achieving up to 80% time and range with recommended settings without increasing lows. But of course, Individual results may vary. The 780 G works around the clock, so you can focus on what matters. Have you heard about Medtronic extended infusion set? It's the first and only infusion set labeled for up to a seven day wear. This feature is repeatedly asked for, and Medtronic has delivered 97% of people using the 780 G reported that they could manage their diabetes without major disruptions of sleep. They felt more free to eat what they wanted, and they felt less stress with fewer alarms and alerts you can't beat that. Learn more about how you can spend less time and effort managing your diabetes by visiting. Tronic diabetes.com/juicebox,

Brenda 15:03
no, that was just me. You know, that's that's why I'm so incredibly just thankful for everything that you do, everything that technology and medicine has done. Because I didn't know anybody who had diabetes. I didn't know anything about it. No one in my family had it back then. I was like, wow, I have this. And I just thought this was going to be the end of my life, like I didn't want to tell anybody. I hid it when I was in school, and it was just like this black shadow that was over me. And, I mean, I look back at it now and think that, wow, I was, like, in a really bad state of depression, and didn't even know

Scott Benner 15:50
it as a little kid. Yes, yeah, it was just what you could imagine was that this is gonna shorten and ruin my life.

Brenda 15:58
Oh, most definitely. Okay.

Scott Benner 16:00
Okay. Did you ever tell anybody to your recollection that that's how you felt? I had

Brenda 16:06
a best friend. I had obviously told her, and she was with me a lot, but I just didn't want anybody to know. I didn't want them not to like me. I didn't want to be different. I just wanted to fit in and lo and behold. Thank goodness my mom actually did, and my dad, they talked about it. They sent me to a diabetic camp, I think, when I was 12, and that, I wish they would have sent me sooner. And I told tell everybody. Now, if your child becomes a diabetic, the first opportunity they have to send them to a diabetic camp, send

Scott Benner 16:49
them. Why? Tell people what it did.

Brenda 16:53
Oh, my God, it was amazing. There was, I was not the only one. There's other people out there, and it was so nice to actually meet other kids and, you know, learn how to counter cards and learn how to weigh your food. And back then, it wasn't, you know, all this technology, and it was more manual. You had to, you know, do everything pee on a stick, you know. I mean, they have that too, but it's just, it was just such an amazing experience that I was not this just individual that was the only one on the face of the earth.

Scott Benner 17:30
So you felt isolated or alone for four years, pretty much okay. And was that a 24/7 feeling, or did it come and go,

Brenda 17:40
you know, I think it probably just came and went. You know, every time you would get a low or every time you had to test your blood or take a shot. Because, you know, when you're on four shots a day, you have to test your blood before breakfast. You're doing breakfast, lunch and dinner. It wasn't like, you know, one shot a day, yeah, and it was a lot, or every time you ate, and it was just like, oh, I can't do this. I was just like, I just can't do this for the rest of my life. How am I ever going to

Scott Benner 18:11
do this? Right? And then I guess, growing up in a world where people would put an eight year old on a bus to go to a bus, to go to a bus, they weren't helping you with all this diabetes stuff, my imagining,

Brenda 18:21
oh, you know what? My mom, she in order for me, I'll never forget this, in order for me to leave the hospital, she had to be able to learn how to give me a shot. She actually took the needle out and accidentally jabbed herself, and they rushed her down to the emergency room to give her a tetanus shot. And I told the doctors. I was like, my mom is amazing. Such my mother was such a strong, amazing, beautiful woman with seven kids. And, you know, my dad worked all the time, so it was a lot. I think for her, it was just a lot, yeah, and I was like, You guys have to let me go. Like, look, I know how to do this. If I'm passed out, she can give me the shot. I don't care, but please don't let her give me a shot. We were practicing on oranges, and, you know, we were doing things, and she was just, she was so heartbroken and destroyed that I was sick. It just, I think, really, really devastated

Scott Benner 19:26
her. Yeah, did it hit her again when your brother was diagnosed? Or,

Brenda 19:30
oh yes, it was a double, I think it was a double whammy for her, and he was the youngest. He was number seven, okay, so at that time, you know, probably 12 years between my brother and myself from being diagnosed, she, he was mama's boy. He,

Scott Benner 19:51
you know, was he older when he was diagnosed, then

Brenda 19:55
he was older, yeah, and it was hard for the teenage boy because. He just, you know, teenage boy. He didn't have time for that.

Scott Benner 20:05
Do you have a feeling for how old your mom was when you were diagnosed? Late maybe

Brenda 20:10
early 50s? So she had kids earlier as well, late 40s. Oh, yeah, she had, she had kids early, okay, okay, even maybe late 40s. Yeah, she, you know, figure she

Scott Benner 20:19
had seven of us. What kind of insulin did you start with

Brenda 20:23
pork insulin, which I was allergic to, and I broke out in hives all over my body. They we figured that out. Then they had put me on beef insulin, and that was back in the day. That goes to show you how long ago this was, yeah, and that was a scene within itself. I'm like, Oh, my, it was just like everything. It was like, Really, now I'm allergic to this medicine. Yeah, this medicine is supposed to save my life, and now you're telling me I can't take this, and they have to figure out a different one. And you know,

Scott Benner 20:56
how did the the other things stack up? Did they come slowly over time, the thyroid, ra, stuff like that. Oh

Brenda 21:03
yeah, all of that was, you know, over time, throughout the duration of me getting older, I can tell you, I'm, like, the healthiest person around

Scott Benner 21:13
you. Just have these issues. Yes, that's how you think

Brenda 21:17
about I have these issues. Yeah, they're like, they're issues. But you know what, I'm here. I'm strong. I think the minute that you allow you have to welcome anything that, whatever you believe in, you know, gives you, you just have to welcome it, because the last thing you want to do is be against whatever you have, because it's not going to work. You can't you can't fight it. Don't fight it. I hate to

Scott Benner 21:48
say it is just what it is, right? Like, this is your reality. You're either going to, like, find a way to exist with it, or you're going to be fighting against it forever. Yeah,

Brenda 21:56
and, you know, I think it was until I went to the diabetic camp that really, really, really made me strong. No kidding, that I think that was

Scott Benner 22:09
huge. Do you still have friends from camp? No, no. Okay, so All right, now I'm gonna take what's gonna seem like a weird pivot for a second, but that boy who you snooker to end up making you pregnant when you were 17 or you 17. Are you still with

Brenda 22:24
him? We were in love, got married, had an amazing life, had two children. He is currently my ex

Scott Benner 22:31
husband. Currently, are you thinking of letting him back?

Brenda 22:35
Yeah, oh, no, never. You have to understand. And it's it's hard for people when you get divorced, we have a mutual bond. We have two grown adult children. We have grandchildren. You have to be a good human. You know, this person, we were together, and it didn't work out over the years. I mean, we were together for a lot of years, and we everybody's like, Oh, because you were young, and it was like, No, it just no longer worked, yeah.

Scott Benner 23:06
How long did you make it 14 years? Okay, wow. So you were 31 when you got divorced, yeah.

Brenda 23:13
Then I was a single mom, okay?

Scott Benner 23:15
And you had two kids at that point. Did you ever get remarried?

Brenda 23:18
No, but I'm been with the same individual for almost 30 years now. No kidding. Oh, that's interesting, yeah, literally, like, maybe six months later, I was very, very fortunate, and I met another gentleman, and he's just spectacular. And, you

Scott Benner 23:39
know, not lovely How about that? Well, okay, and you and your ex have kept a close relationship this entire time because of the connection

Brenda 23:48
in mutual my, my children's graduations, it's like, high, high, you know, weddings or parties, you can't be be like, oh, you know, they're terrible. They're wonderful. I was in love with this person at one point in my life, yeah, I have children with them, you know? So it's like, it's it Life is life. He's remarried. Has an amazing, beautiful wife. They have children. You know? It's life is good. You have to, to accept whatever, whatever comes your way. Okay? And you don't wish, I don't wish ill on anyone?

Scott Benner 24:21
Do your children have any issues? You said your brother's son has type one, but what about your kids? The contour next gen blood glucose meter is sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast, and it's entirely possible that it is less expensive in cash than you're paying right now for your meter through your insurance company. That's right. If you go to my link, contour, next.com/juicebox, you're going to find links to Walmart, Amazon, Walgreens, CVS, Rite, aid, Kroger and Meijer. You could be paying more right now through your insurance for your test strips and meter. Meter, then you would pay through my link for the contour next gen and contour next test strips in cash. What am I saying? My link may be cheaper out of your pocket than you're paying right now, even with your insurance, and I don't know what meter you have right now. I can't say that, but what I can say for sure is that the contour next gen meter is accurate, it is reliable, and it is the meter that we've been using for years. Contour next.com/juicebox and if you already have a contour meter and you're buying test strips, doing so through the Juicebox Podcast link will help to support the show.

Brenda 25:39
I pray every day. Neither one of my children have diabetes nor my grandchildren. Okay, my son has two teenage daughters, and my daughter has a three year old and a two month old every day. You know they. Everybody knows the signs and my niece, which is my sister's sons, his son, two years ago, became a diabetic. Okay, you know, so we have, I have a nephew. I have, and my brother's son became one. So we have two boys on our side. So right now,

Scott Benner 26:16
yeah, yeah, when your kids were getting Do you have, I'm sorry, do you have girls or a mix. I have a I have One boy, one girl, okay, when they're dating. Do you find yourself thinking like, hey, ask about that person's background. Let's see if they've got any autoimmune over there. And you know, maybe we'll avoid that if we

Brenda 26:32
know. Well, my kids are grown. My son is Chicago firemen, and my daughter lives in California, and it has an amazing job. And, you know they No, I never, I never did that. But I have to tell you, two days ago, I was at a graduation open house, and I was sitting down, and I overheard my niece talking to this boy, and he was like, his like, he went to go get a soda. And she's like, No, that's a regular he needs a regular one because his sugar is low. And of course, right away I jump up and I walk over. I was like, Hi. I was like, and I was like, Leah, what's what's going on? And she said, Oh, you know, my boyfriend's a diabetic. And I was like, I didn't know that. And then I had showed I was giving him an experience, and I was like, oh, you know, I'm her aunt, and I've been diabetic, and so we just start talking, and this young boy has only been a diabetic for two years. He was, what, 16. There's so many kids nowadays that are being diagnosed with diabetes. I thought

Scott Benner 27:39
you're gonna say everybody has diabetes now, yes, it's

Brenda 27:44
a little bit scary, but also, I think about everything that they have, and all the tools, all the resources, like I wish, I wish I would have had half of the amount of information that is out there now and support. I mean, I look at myself and I'm like, Wow, I'm 57 and I've lived an amazing life. Yes, I've had all of these things happen to me, but I am so thankful I'm still here.

Scott Benner 28:19
It's funny, at one point you called your life the duration of my life. And then you said, just now you're like, I've lived an amazing life. You say it like you're older. You're really not very old. Is it that background feeling that you thought you weren't going to live very long that makes you feel like you've been around a long time? I

Brenda 28:35
look at it this way, you have a car. What you have to do your regular maintenance. You have to change the oil, and you have to take it to the mechanic and check it out. But eventually, you know, after 100 and something 1000 miles that car is, you're gonna have to get a new car. I just tell people you have your body, use the resources that you have. Don't blame your doctor if you don't feel good. There is not one body that is the same. Obviously, you know, you go to your doctor and they're they're gonna do what they were taught. But everybody reacts different, and everybody's body is so different. What works for one. May not work for the other, but you have to be your own advocate, and you have to take care of yourself. You have to take care of your body. I mean, you have to, I wish, I wish I would have eaten a little healthier back in the day. You know that I started doing that, what in my 40s, you know? And it was like, I shouldn't maybe have done that in my 20s. Did you have to be your own advocate? Take care of yourself. Take your medicine. When your pump is going off, if you wear a pump, eat. Don't put it off like, you know, you have these settings. You have all these tools and resources, use it because you will enhance your life and live longer.

Scott Benner 30:06
Brenda, have you always been like that? Or is it a thing you came to because all you've really described right now, which, by the way, it's basically my job to say over and over again, don't people listen? But like you're just doing the things you're supposed to do, and you're having good outcomes because of it. Is what I'm hearing. So like, but were you always that person? Oh,

Brenda 30:26
absolutely not. Okay, absolutely not. As a teenager, I would walk around and I mean, oh, there was, I know, I had passed out. I have like, a mark on my tooth, and I'm like, Oh yeah, that was my mother, because she thought I was going to swallow my tongue, and I just passed out. And she thought I was having a seizure, and I wasn't having a seizure. I just passed out from low blood sugar. She thought. She was like, you know, something

Scott Benner 30:51
in your mouth, yeah, awesome. I was

Brenda 30:56
like, oh yeah. I came to, you know, I have, I have stories of me passing out on a CTA bus because I wanted to go shopping, and I was with, you know, a friend, and I was like, in such a great mood, and I wanted to go shopping and I didn't want, you know, I passed out and I woke up and I was in The hospital, and I was like, oh my goodness, what happened?

Scott Benner 31:24
Wait, go back. You didn't want what Brenda. You wanted to go shopping, and you didn't want what to be I didn't want

Brenda 31:30
my friend to know that my blood sugar was going down. So I was just like, trying to push through a low. I was like, I'm going to be okay. I'm going to be okay. And lo and behold, I won't wake up, and I was in an ambulance and they took me to the hospital.

Scott Benner 31:44
If only you could just push through a low blood sugar. That would be awesome for everybody. I know, I know, but you knew that, right?

Brenda 31:51
I knew that, yeah, of course. Well, the terrible thing was, the ambulance driver told me, I'm like, I can't go to the hospital. I'm gonna get in trouble. Like, just, please let me go home. And they're like, No, you, since I passed out on a CTA bus, they were like, there was all these legality things. And they're like, No, we have to take you. I'm at the hospital, and I'm like, please, I gotta get out of here. Like, I can't be here. I'm like, did you tell them? I know I was

Scott Benner 32:20
on my way to Woolworths. It

Brenda 32:24
was actually learner,

Scott Benner 32:26
no, I almost said Montgomery Ward, just in case you're wondering. No, there you go, scouring my brain for the names of old retail stores that I could find. When does it get easier for you? Like, is it technology? Is it insulin improving? Or what do you remember as the first, like, step up

Brenda 32:42
an insulin pump? Pump was the pump was just a miracle worker. It was just unbelievable that. Well, I mean, I had my fair share too. I just had the pump put on, and I was excited. I was sitting down, and I forgot I had it on. I picked it up, and I, like, threw some blankets, and I had it in my hand, and it went flying out of my body. And I'm like, oh yeah, this isn't going to work. I'm not going to stick myself again. You know, I look at, you know, different things on Facebook, and I see all these infants with diabetes, and I'm like, Oh my goodness. Like, how would a parent ever take care of a child without a sensor, without a pump? Like, how is that even possible? I just it's crazy. My nephew, my sister's grandson, his mom's name is Rachel, and I every day, I just look at her, and I'm like, You are an angel. You have given your son all the tools, all the resources you've you've given him everything that he needs to be the best diabetic he can be. And she's supported him. She looks things up. She was the one who actually told me about your podcast. And I was like, Oh my goodness. Like she just, there's, there's so much out there. And she, he is a teenager, and he plays sports, and he's like, the head of everything. He's on this traveling soccer team. He's been, I just look at him, and I was like, wow. Like he

Scott Benner 34:27
is successful, yeah. But Brenda, hold on, don't you think of you, your life as a success.

Brenda 34:31
I look at is this success as, don't want to say a warrior, because I fought so much through my life, of kind of sometimes feeling like I was out there on my own, even though I had older sisters, everybody was busy with their own stuff, and my mom was busy with so many things, and everybody had so much, and I just felt like I was there on my own. So for me, I was successful. So when I got older and when I got a pump, I mean, I was successful, that I made it through all of my lows that I bought and all that. And I'm like, Yeah, I'm good. I don't need anything, you know,

Scott Benner 35:12
so you so you live through the first terrible part, and then you got to the pump, and things got better. But I still wonder, though, like, listen, I understand, but like, and I'm, I'm trying to figure out how you're going from saying, My life's been a very big success, I'm doing really well, to, I can't believe it, you know, how would these people live nowadays without this thing? Like, why do you have that dual feeling?

Brenda 35:32
Because there were times and points where I was working, I actually worked and passed out. I worked a double I passed out, and I woke up in an ambulance, and I was like, Oh, my God, I gotta get up. I gotta they're like, oh, we gotta take you to the hospital. I'm like, No, I gotta get in. I open tomorrow, you know. And if I had all of this technology when I was younger, it would have, I just think, made me even stronger, more better to control

Scott Benner 36:06
myself. You think easier is easier, a word that you would put to this, or it would

Brenda 36:10
have been so much easier. All right, it would have been so much easier.

Scott Benner 36:16
But as far as health outcomes go, like diabetes wise, do you have any issues. I mean, you had trigger finger and, like, was that from, like, higher a one CS, vacillating blood sugars?

Brenda 36:28
No, that was just from work. I worked for a company that was very manual labor, and all of that was from that the frozen shoulders was from the diabetes. That was a given. That's what was told to me from that. And the cancer was just breast cancer, you know. And I walked in, I was like, I really don't have time for this. So can we just do what we got to do? Because I just don't have time for this to go on. And the woman, the nurse, was like, Do you need to see a counselor. I said, No, and I'm laughing at her, and she goes, You're like the happiest cancer patient I ever met. I said, Well, you know what? I either knew I was going to die of diabetes or cancer from all the artificial stuff I've put in my body throughout my whole life. I said, So what choice do I have? Did you

Scott Benner 37:20
think because you were taking insulin, something else was gonna happen? No, all the artificial sweeteners. Oh, that's what you're talking about. Oh, okay, like

Brenda 37:29
the saccharines the Sweet and Low. I mean, I used to put 10 Sweet and Low in my coffee, you know, because it wasn't sweet enough. And I would always have, you know, sugar free gum, diet soda and all of this is like, Oh, if you drink this, you're gonna end up with cancer. Well, you know, I don't believe that that was the reason I got this. I was definitely genetics. But back in the days, you know, I'm thinking all of that,

Scott Benner 37:58
yeah, no, I understand. It's been a bit of a whirlwind for you, really, you know, a lot has happened to you in, I mean, what I would consider to be still a short amount of time, you know, like, I mean, 50 years, it's half a lifetime or more, maybe, right? But still, like, the diagnosis at eight and being like, drugged to the hospital because you're hard headed, and then launching into a life that you know goes on for 14 years. Then you get divorced, but you're, you know, you're still friendly with people, and you meet somebody else, and you keep going and like, there's a lot has like, Does it ever occur to you that you've been through a great deal sometimes, yeah, do you think that you're okay. Ready for a difficult question? Brenda, hi. Let me have it. Do you really think you're happy, or do you think you're covering? You know

Brenda 38:49
what, happy in life, or happy with diabetes?

Scott Benner 38:53
Your overall presentation is really upbeat, which is awesome. But are you actually upbeat, or are you projecting upbeat? I'm actually upbeat. No kidding, that's awesome. Anybody ever in your family line experience any depression or anything like that?

Brenda 39:08
I think my father, I would say my father, okay, went through

Scott Benner 39:13
depression, diagnosed and treated or something. He

Brenda 39:17
now, you know, back in the days, I don't think they ever really diagnosed anything? Yeah,

Scott Benner 39:23
okay, all right. I've asked that question before, and people are like, I am really just pretending. So I just wanted to make sure. I just went to double check

Brenda 39:30
I truly, you know what I look at myself, and I'm like, wow, I think back. I'm like, I really didn't think I was going to be here past 50. And I'm like, I am, and I'm so I'm so fortunate and so blessed that I can garden or work, and, you know, I just recently retired, and I just I enjoy my life, I enjoy my family, I enjoy my friends. I'm very. Very, very, very, very happy and very blessed to be able to do all that I do. You're living. I'm living now, probably the last five years, I'm living. And I think it changed a little bit after I got cancer. How? Because I had when I was first in my brain, I was like, okay, no matter what they do, this is here. It's gonna get me. Let's just do whatever I can do, and this is it. And I was like, okay, like, I didn't let it overtake me. And I was like, Okay. And I actually have a video of myself, and I looked at it the other day because I was telling somebody, oh, yeah, whatever, I had cancer. And she's like, what? And I'm like, Yeah, I would go down to my treatments, and I'm like, the tunnel of death, because you would walk it's in the basement for treatments, and it's all dark and dreary until you get to the cancer part, where they are, like, doing the treatments, then it's all lively and beautiful. And I'm like, why would you not have this from the minute you get off the elevator? Why would you just have it at the down at the end of the hall? Yes, and I actually told one of the nurses, so I video recorded myself coming out of the elevator, and I was like, the tunnel of death, and I was just cracking up. So I keep thinking that to myself, like, wow, you know,

Scott Benner 41:29
put a light out there. Brenda. Are you telling me that you were so convinced that you were going to die because of diabetes that you looked up and you're like, Ah, I have cancer. And then you were just like, I guess maybe I'm not gonna die. Did the cancer snap you out of feeling like your life was short? And is this a weird story where I think, yeah,

Brenda 41:49
in a in a crazy way, yeah, like the diabetes was there, and it was like, Oh, that was like, always like, oh, okay, I have diabetes. I'm good. I'm gonna live. I'm gonna die. What's going on with me? And like, uh, and then once I got the cancer, I was like, Oh, I think this is a little bit worse than having the diabetes.

Scott Benner 42:09
Like, Wait, did cancer give you perspective?

Brenda 42:13
Slightly, okay, slightly. And then I was like, Okay, well, I said I'm gonna die of either one of the two. I beat the one. You should stop saying that, living with the other one well, but I this is in my head. This is what you know my whole life. So I says, Well, wow, you know, and, and I'm still living. So let's just go with this, like I'm living this. Let's keep living.

Scott Benner 42:38
I might not die. I should probably just feel

Brenda 42:44
like to travel now. I just travel. I just enjoy life. I want

Scott Benner 42:49
to try to go backwards and walk forwards as best you can with your outcomes, like year after year. Do you know what your a one, Cs were, or what your goals were?

Brenda 42:57
Oh, my goal was always to be whatever the doctor told me what was back in the day? It was back in the day, it was always to be a six, really. That was back then. Now it's a five. Of course, they lowered it. What years ago they would always tell you, like you should be around here.

Scott Benner 43:16
Well, that's not what Ada was saying, though, like when my daughter was diagnosed, it was an eight, and then they moved it to a seven. I think it's still at a seven now, like through ADA or something, so like, your doctors were more aggressive about

Brenda 43:27
it, yeah, more aggressive, yeah.

Scott Benner 43:30
And did they give you tools to reach those numbers, or did they just give you the goal and say, good luck. Figure it out. Oh,

Brenda 43:36
a sliding scale. You know, if your sugars are here, you have to, you know, if it's in between this, I was, I would hate to have to have my I'd have my little paper sliding scale in my little couch with my needles and my, you know, everything. And it was like, Oh, heck. Was this ever gonna stop? And when I would go and not get the A, 1c, that I would want, I'm like, Well, I'm following the sliding scale. Like, what do you mean? I'm not wearing back or, you

Scott Benner 44:04
know, two things here. I have been doing this for such a long time, and I know, pragmatically, what the sliding scale is, but I don't think it ever occurred to me that somebody had a piece of paper in their pocket where they slid something back and forth to line up some lines to make a decision with. But that's what you had. Yeah, wow. I know what sliding scale is. I just never put it together like that. There'd be a card in your so you're like, an outfielder shifting. We like, you pull it out and see which batter is coming up, and then you make your decision.

Brenda 44:32
That's bad, you know? And I look at it, and that's what I said, is I, I see all the technology now, and I'm just go back and I'm like, wow, I didn't have it really. I didn't have it that easy. Who anybody who is not a successful diabetic? Shame on you. Shame on you, because you could be. You just need the support of other people. But the technology is there.

Scott Benner 44:57
It's so much more advanced than what. You had it feels like to you, if you're not taking advantage of it, like, through your lens, it's just, it's a shame,

Brenda 45:06
yes, Yeah, most definitely, most definitely.

Scott Benner 45:10
So your goals were lower, but were your outcomes there? Or, like, Do you know what your a one Cs were through your lifetime? Oh,

Brenda 45:16
no. I mean, now I'm at like a six, and which is too high. I should be lower. But the thing that I have a retina specialist, and I have my regular eye doctor, and whenever I go to the eye doctor, they're like, Wow, I cannot believe that your eyes are so great. I wish you could talk to some of our diabetic patients that are in their 20s, that are like, going to lose their eyesight because they haven't taken care of themselves, yeah? But

Scott Benner 45:47
what would you tell them? You use the piece of paper, slide it back and forth, and then get a pump when they're available,

Brenda 45:52
yeah? You know, it's in just told the eye doctor. I was like, You know what it truly is, just you have to do the best you can do, which with whatever available to you at that time. Yeah, I mean, I in there, and you know what, it is a shame, because some people cannot afford a pump. And you know the way the insurance is, some people can't afford even insulin. And it's, it's our system is with any anything in the health care. We do need health but it's a shame that every time you go pick up your medicine, you know, they're like, Oh, how many times you test your blood sugar? And I'm like, don't ask me that at the pharmacy. Give me whatever the doctor wrote the prescription for. I'm like, you know, I test my blood six times a day, so I know how much insulin to take. Like, what do you want from me? You know, you

Scott Benner 46:48
test your blood sugar. Who are you exactly? Give me the bottle? Yes,

Brenda 46:53
and it's the go through these different things in life, and you're just like, like, I don't want to sit there and explain my whole everything again to a new doctor, because back in the day, they didn't have their technology, of their computers, you wouldn't you press a button and you get your whole life history, you would have to sit there and tell everybody everything, and it's like, oh, technology. I

Scott Benner 47:16
feel like I've heard you tell me a handful of times here, whatever you have at your disposal, use it and do your best. And that's what you should be doing with diabetes. If it's a pump, if it's a piece of paper in your pocket, if it's a CGM, take advantage of what you have the opportunity to take advantage of. Do the things you're supposed to do. Take care of yourself. Your body's the most important thing,

Brenda 47:38
and do not feel sorry for yourself, okay?

Scott Benner 47:42
Meaning, this is what it is. Make the best of it. Keep going.

Brenda 47:47
Yes. I mean, you, you, everybody has their moment, and you know, you talk about depression, you're going to be sad. You're going to do that, and that's okay. Take an hour, let yourself feel that way, and then get up, wipe off your knees and start going like, you know, if you allow yourself to be in that mode of poor me, you will never succeed in life or in diabetes or in anything.

Scott Benner 48:16
How many times do you think you've had to sit down and take your hour.

Brenda 48:21
Oh, lots. Okay, even, you know, and I am upbeat and I am happy, but back when I was younger, before I became strong, and before I was like, hey, you know, do this. And that's one of the great things about you with your podcast, that if anyone out there is listening? It is okay. You are going to feel sad diabetic Awareness month in November, and then I have cancer awareness month in October. So October and November, thank goodness we weren't talking, because I'm not as chirpy during those two months. You know, because I do have my moments, I'll take my hour, but now it's maybe once a month.

Scott Benner 49:04
Do you literally just sit and wallow for a half a second and then tell yourself to get back up

Brenda 49:09
again? Pretty much? Yeah, it depends on what it is like when my sensor, if I put it in, it doesn't

Scott Benner 49:16
work, and it's, you know, and you're like, this thing

Brenda 49:19
exactly. And so I'll have my moment, and I'll be like, You know what? I'm just done. I'm just done. So yeah, you have, you have to have those

Scott Benner 49:28
No, no, of course. But talk about for a second, why? How come when this, you know, when your CGM doesn't do what you wanted to do for a second, why isn't your next thought? I used to have a piece of paper in my pocket, and this thing is awesome, and, yeah, technology is not great, so I'm just gonna put

Brenda 49:45
this when it breaks, it's it's not supposed to break so flustered, or it happens at the wrong time, or if I'm at work and I go around the corner and it bumps off my shoulder and it's now. Yeah. Like, really, can you tell me when

Scott Benner 50:01
would a good time be? Never, yeah. Why? Because I hear people say that all the time. It always happens at the worst time. Like, well, when would a good time be for your CGM to expire? Randomly. This might be in an episode somewhere, but Martin got tonsillitis, really, really badly, and she they put her on antibiotic didn't work. They put on another antibiotic didn't work. They moved her a thick and we were like, oh, like, she's, she's on her way, like, it was really bad, and we ended up because, you know how the timing always goes right, like it's always, it's always the weekend when you figure out you're screwed, and then, like, you know, so we're in the emergency room getting an IV antibiotic, and we don't even go till nine o'clock on a Sunday night. So 330 in the morning, we're driving home, and she says, any food? Anything? Just anything. And I'm like, Okay, there's a Burger King, like an oasis out in front of us, all lit up and nothing else, like it was dark food. We go through the drive through, it's so late that the lady the drive through looks at you like, Yo, I'm mopping the floors. Like, you want one of these burgers. You know, we grab food. And I said to her, well, let's just sit here in the parking lot and eat it, because, you know, if this cools off, we're gonna remember that it's not food. Like, let's just try to get it in while we can pretend it tastes good. And she's like, Okay, so we're off to the side. And she's like, What? This is horrible. And I was like, I know. Like, she's like, but we're eating it and we're happy. Like, you know what I mean? Like, everyone's been drunk in a we weren't drunk, but drunk in a parking lot, eating crappy food at some point,

Brenda 51:31
right exactly at some points. Thank God it's not a White Castle. Okay, so we're

Scott Benner 51:35
eating and eating, and we're just complaining the whole way, it's not good. I don't want this blah, blah, but we ate it, and then we kind of settled for a second. We were talking, and she's very sick, like, really beat up, and plus the last six hours, and I swear to God, she goes, Oh my God, my CGM just tired. We started laughing. We're like, oh my god, yeah, that makes total sense. So I was like, All right, well, we'll just go home. You can swap it before we go to bed. So we drive the next 10 minutes and we get home, it's quarter 410, or four in the morning. Now, like we didn't get up in the morning thinking we were going to the hospital. So now you know exactly, yeah, right. And I don't know if any of you've ever had this where Dexcom had issues, I feels like with g7 off and on, where you like, sometimes you go to inject it, and the like, the little wire, instead of going into you, pops out at the top of the CGM, right? I mean, it's, it's almost four o'clock in the morning. We're standing in our kitchen. We're still disgusted with ourselves that we ate whatever that thing was, they told us was chicken nuggets, and she clicks it. You know, she's her pants are down, she clicks it on Dexcom is gonna be like, you're supposed to put it on your arm. Well, guess what? And the wire pops out. You ever seen a marionette like when somebody lets go with the strings? Oh, my goodness. She just was like, and she sat there, and I went, it's okay, take it off and put on another one. Like it's okay,

Brenda 53:06
but it's just that thought of having to put on another one well, and this is terrible, but luckily, you were able to see it. I was unaware that that actually happens, until it happened, and until I pulled it off, and until I seen that it didn't go in, and then it happened again. So knowing that that happened, and you were able to do it, instead of having to wait

Scott Benner 53:33
the process to find out it's not going to turn off. Oh, poor thing. I do want to be clear like Arden's been using g7 since the very beginning, I'm big fan of it, and she is as well. But that's probably happened to her four times in those like, I mean, it's probably been over two years now, there's an argument to be made for like, maybe we should make it so that doesn't happen. And maybe there's an argument through me that it's a thing that's going to happen with the design. Like, I have

Brenda 53:56
absolutely no idea. I do use the g7 as well. So it is a thing. It does happen, and it does happen at the worst times. But

Scott Benner 54:04
also, my perspective is she doesn't have a piece of paper in her pocket that she's sliding back and forth. Like, like, I could go on a different tangent, like, I know that for most of you have been diagnosed more recently. You know you were given the thing. The thing's supposed to do something. It doesn't do it. You get very upset about it. I would always ask you to put yourself in Brenda's shoes and remember that at one point she was using insulin that they called beef, and the she couldn't use the pork because it gave her hives. Just shut up and put on another Dexcom, exactly. But it's not lost on me how, like, horrible it is when it happens. And the thing that I really want to, like, dig into is that in that moment, I hope Arden is never gonna know how much it breaks my heart to just say to her, like, It's okay, just put on another one, because I want to look at her and go, this is fcking terrible, isn't it? Like this whole goddamn fcking thing that happened to you is just terrible. That's not what that moment. Needs, you know what I mean, like, so I say it's okay. Just grab another one, put it on. We'll call them. We'll get them to send us a new one. Like, you go through that whole thing. But I know in her head she's just like, thinking, this is terrible, this whole goddamn thing that

Brenda 55:14
happened is she a teenager. She's 2020,

Scott Benner 55:18
yeah, so, and she's not wrong, by the way, that's the irony. This whole thing is, I'm not wrong and she's not wrong, but

Brenda 55:27
no, it's it just sucks. Yeah, it just sucks. And there are moments like that where it just sucks. No, just 1,000,000%

Scott Benner 55:35
you know, it's funny, but it makes me feel I was watching a Star Wars TV show last night before I went to bed. I don't want to bore everybody with which one it was, but it was everybody which one it was, but it was andor. And there's this guy that finds himself in the middle of a like in a town square in a revolution that he didn't know was about to happen. And there's this interesting moment on his face when he realizes that five seconds before he did not mean to be here in this fight, but that he was and is now, and now he has to react according to the reality he's been given, and he doesn't take time to wallow in the fact that if he would have made seven left turns instead of seven right turns, he'd be somewhere else, and this wouldn't be happening to him right now. Like there's something about when there's a shift in your life, like you said it earlier, like you can, like, stand there and fight with the reality that you're in, or you can just, I don't know if it's go with it or do the best you can with it. I'm not sure exactly what the verbiage is around it, but I'm that's what I'm taking from you, which is just like, get on the surfboard and go where the wave takes you.

Brenda 56:41
That is definitely a true, true statement. I mean, I look at myself, I got married really young, had my children because, you know, I wanted to have a family. Did the whole thing was a general manager did everything like you can lead an amazing, wonderful, productive life having diabetes, as long as you work with it and not against it. And everything that falls, like I said, everything that still fell on my lap, you just have to keep pushing yourself. Is is terrible in there. There were many, many, many terrible incidences. I mean, I totaled my car. My son was away in the Navy, and he was home for the weekend, and he had to come and find me, you know, and it's there. There were just so many different incidences before I was on a pump that, you know, I had, it's, it's a wonder I'm still alive.

Scott Benner 57:56
But you choose to remember life differently, though. Yes,

Brenda 57:59
yeah. Well, I, you know, I have to remember everything that I did. And yes, it was a struggle. I mean, I remember telling my children, which, this is not a bad thing to do. Well, now, you know a lot of people that have technology, but I remember having candy in my son's pocket and telling him, honey, if Mommy doesn't feel good, and she tells you, give mommy the candy. Okay? Because, yeah, I remember, and going back to Burger King, walking in there with my son, and I'm like, Excuse me. I'm like, I'm I need to order, but I know what I want to order, but it will like it won't come out. You don't feel well, can you please give me food? Yeah, I'll pay for I need food. Now, you know there were those incidences where, yeah, I've had lows and I can't even speak like I want, I know what I want to say, and it's just won't come out of my mouth because I was so

Scott Benner 59:01
low. And does that happen to you any longer with all this technology? Oh, no,

Brenda 59:05
no, no, no, no, but, but back in the day, when we didn't have this stuff, and you have to have something on you all the time, or, you know, you're at work and you're going to get off in 20 minutes, and you don't want to have to ask your supervisor, you know I need something, or, you know, you've already used all the candy in your pocket, and you just want to push through. I used to push through everything. That's a bad thing. That's definitely a bad thing. Don't push through it. Take care of yourself.

Scott Benner 59:35
Brenda, I do understand the desire, right? Like, like, to try to, like, find control. Like, I'm not gonna let this low happen, right? I like, I know you can't do that. Like, but like, I understand the desire to want to take control of your body and to say to yourself, like, I'm gonna do this, like, I can make this happen, and then, you know it's not gonna work. I swear, I sent Arden a text. She's like, cleaning her room and doing laundry. She's hustling. All over the place in the middle of the night, and I sent her a text. I'm like, You are totally gonna be low in 20 minutes. And she just ignored that. And then 20 minutes later, she's 65 diagonal down, and I hear her walk past my room to go downstairs. And then in the morning, there's a Juicebox and like, gummy bears on a chair that where she was, like, sitting. I'm past the part where I go, why didn't she listen? Because now it's funny, Brent, is that people would tell me, you know, you can't keep making this podcast forever. Your daughter's gonna get older. You're gonna stop learning stuff about diabetes. I'm just learning stuff about different stuff now. Now it's more about people. She's not hard headed, she's not dumb, she's not ignoring her diabetes. She's doing that thing you're describing. She's trying to find power over something that she's powerless

Brenda 1:00:46
with exactly. And you know what? It took me a very long time. And the crazier thing is, you have that, and you're looking at it, and you know,

Scott Benner 1:00:59
back in the day, they didn't have that, no, it just was gonna happen to you. I don't know you're it's just gonna happen to

Brenda 1:01:04
me, and I was just gonna be sick. And, you know, there was nobody that was gonna tell me, like, Hey, you're getting low. You know it was, it was just happening. How did

Scott Benner 1:01:16
it start? Like you felt a little hungry, and then before you could figure out if you were hungry or not, you felt a little woozy.

Brenda 1:01:22
Like, no, no. I could go all day without eating, and I would just be like, okay, whatever. Like, you know, I just,

Scott Benner 1:01:29
but no, no, Brenda. Does the does the onset of the low feel like hunger at first? No,

Brenda 1:01:34
my eyes twitch. It's not even feeling hungry. My eyes would like Twitch back a little bit, or I would get more energy. And I just wanted to, like, hurry up and do stuff before I just completely

Scott Benner 1:01:47
that's interesting. Wanted to drop Arden gets a little hungry right before it happens. And I think it's her body telling her, like, hey, get some carbs. Yeah. But then she just wants to react like a normal person. She's like, Oh, I'm hungry. And she starts thinking about, I'm like, and I look up and I'm like, like, it's the middle. Yeah, you're gonna get low. I've learned from talking to adults like you and others that she's going through a process that I can't speed her through. You just kind of be supportive during it. She is figuring things out as she goes. She's building on herself and getting better and better at taking care of herself, while maintaining some sort of a psychologically healthy balance around this whole thing. Brenda, it just occurred to me your oldest born is 40 years old. He will be 40 Yes, yeah. Is that interesting? Like, because, like you guys are. I know this is crazy, but if you were at 57 had a 40 year old friend, that wouldn't be crazy. I know you have almost similar life experiences. Is that, right

Brenda 1:02:49
when he went off to the Navy, and my daughter, what she was 16, she was going to go live with her dad, and she said it was just a lot for her, for me with the diabetes. And she's like, you know, I would always have to take care of, you know, you would always get sick and stuff. And I was like, You know what? He was buying a house. He was going to have a dog. It was going to be a wonderful, you know, little thing for her. I was like, You know what, honey. I go ahead, go enjoy, enjoy

Scott Benner 1:03:23
yourself. How hard was that? Oh, it

Brenda 1:03:26
was devastating and hard. Yeah, I think it was the best thing for her at that point, because I know it was hard for my kids when I were to get sick and, you know, they would see me and that that was rough with them growing up.

Scott Benner 1:03:43
I just made me think about my kids leaving. Great job. Brenda, good job.

Brenda 1:03:47
But you want them to, you know, grow their wings and fly. And it's, it was definitely rough. But my son, when he went away, he told a lot of his high school friends, you better take care of my mom. You know, I remember the first Mother's Day, his friends came and brought me stuff for Mother's Day. And he's like, we need angels. We need to make sure we check on you, you know, so you don't get sick. And if you're diabetic and you know, you need something, you call us

Scott Benner 1:04:14
that crazy. You're in your mid 30s at that point, and your kids are like, are older, and fly in the coop already. Wow. Yeah, no kidding, but you are with that guy at that point. Though, you're a guy you've been with for, for, oh

Brenda 1:04:26
yeah, but we were just not living together, sure? You know, dating, yep, and we're still, you know, still not married, still dating. I'm like, if it's not broke, don't fix it. It's 30 years. It's good.

Scott Benner 1:04:40
Can I ask you one last question? Sure. Do you do you think about getting older with diabetes and what that might mean? I

Brenda 1:04:46
think about it often. I look at some people and I I see them, and it's just like eyesight, so important. Go see a retina specialist. Yeah, it's so important to have your regular eye doctor, but your retina is the most important thing so you don't lose your eyesight. Walk every day. I actually, I'm not overweight or anything. I'm I'm like 155 pounds. So your weight, your the food you eat. You know you need to take care of yourself. Because even if you're sitting in your chair and you're raising your arms or you're doing some sort of exercise, you have to make sure that you oil your machine, change your oil. You know this is the car that you have. And if you do your regular oil changes and everything, it's going to ride a lot smoother. Will it eventually you need to buy a new car? Yes,

Scott Benner 1:05:49
yeah, they call that dead, but that's okay.

Brenda 1:05:53
It is what it is. But you know what? In the meantime, do your oil changes, change your windshield fluid, like make your car drive so you can get to work. Brenda,

Scott Benner 1:06:03
I appreciate you doing this. It's in my head, not lost on me, that like I don't know how to get the culmination of your experience and inject it back into younger people so that this doesn't need to be their experience. But I think that's pretty much the uphill battle of being human. Right is, how do you find a younger person and give them the perspective of an older person. And you're interesting because you're an older person in time, but not an older person in age. So much does that make sense? Yes, yeah. So anyway, listen to Brenda. She knows none of you are going to listen. I just want to say that now,

Brenda 1:06:36
learn from your own experience, but don't take too long. It's okay to learn. It's okay to clean your room and not listen to your dad. But if you did it yesterday, don't do it that way tomorrow. Don't get stuck because your dad does know

Scott Benner 1:06:53
better. Yes, you don't get stuck in the resistance, right? Yeah, yeah. Well, good luck. Good luck to all you about that. I don't know our we're very emotional. Obviously, human beings are very emotional, and emotions driven. And to watch people make decisions that they know are wrong but they still make is fascinating, you know. And, and I don't know how to stop it, but I do know that sharing stories like Brenda's hopefully will get somebody you know, over the finish line today, when they listen and on to that next part of their life that, uh, won't seem like such a fight against reality all the time. I don't know Anyway, this was very lovely of you to share like this. I appreciate it. Who made you come on here like you listen to this podcast.

Brenda 1:07:34
I do listen to this podcast, and it was my niece, which is my sister's daughter in law, her son who became a diabetic, and she just listens to you and she is she's amazing. She is such an advocate for diabetes. It's unbelievable. Her son, who is a teenager, he's play soccer. He is traveling all around the world. He's in high school. They're looking at colleges. They live in Michigan, and he has taken diabetes by the horns and has just will not let it do anything to him. He's just amazing. His name is Levi, and he is just strong and courageous. And his grandfather was diagnosed, and was diagnosed with he was very my my nephew was diagnosed with diabetes and was in the hospital, and his grandfather was in the hospital next door, passing away at the same point my nephew was diagnosed. And so not only did he struggle with just becoming a diabetic, but also losing his grandfather at the same time, a

Scott Benner 1:08:57
lot. So it really is a lot,

Brenda 1:08:59
and he is strong and courageous. And

Scott Benner 1:09:04
you know, I think everybody is honestly I think everybody, no matter what part of this journey they're on, you know, whether they've figured out the things you figured out, or they're still trying to figure them out, or if it takes them a week or a month or 10 years to figure these things out, I think everybody's courageous. I think getting up every morning and going is an act of courage. And you know,

Brenda 1:09:26
even it is, it is every day, every single day with diabetes, is a courageous

Scott Benner 1:09:34
day. Yeah, this ain't easy. Brenda,

Brenda 1:09:38
it's definitely not. But once again, if you have an opportunity anyone to send your child to a camp, do it. I don't advocate for any specific camp, but find one. Don't think there's not one near you. Go meet if you're do it, it's, it's, makes all the difference in a child.

Scott Benner 1:10:00
Held Awesome. All right. Well, I appreciate you sharing that. Thank you so much. Hold on one second for me. Okay,

thanks for tuning in today, and thanks to Medtronic diabetes for sponsoring this episode. We've been talking about Medtronic mini med 780 G system today, an automated insulin delivery system that helps make diabetes management easier day and night, whether it's their meal detection technology or the Medtronic extended infusion set, it all comes together to simplify life with diabetes. Go find out more at my link, Medtronic diabetes.com/juicebox,

the episode you just enjoyed was sponsored by the twist a ID system powered by tide pool. If you want a commercially available insulin pump with twist loop that offers unmatched personalization and precision for peace of mind. You want twist, twist.com/juicebox,

I'd like to thank the blood glucose meter that my daughter carries, the contour next gen blood glucose meter. Learn more and get started today at contour next.com/juicebox and don't forget, you may be paying more through your insurance right now for the meter you have then you would pay for the contour next gen in cash. There are links in the show notes of the audio app you're listening in right now, and links at Juicebox podcast.com, to contour and all of the sponsors. Okay, well, here we are at the end of the episode. You're still with me. Thank you. I really do appreciate that. What else could you do for me? Why don't you tell a friend about the show or leave a five star review? Maybe you could make sure you're following or subscribed in your podcast app, go to YouTube and follow me, or Instagram. Tiktok. Oh gosh, here's one. Make sure you're following the podcast in the private Facebook group as well as the public Facebook page you don't want to miss. Please. Do you not know about the private group? You have to join the private group as of this recording, it has 51,000 members in it. They're active, talking about diabetes, whatever you need to know. There's a conversation happening in there right now, and I'm there all the time. Tag me. I'll say hi. The podcast contains so many different series and collections of information that it can be difficult to find them in your traditional podcast app. Sometimes. That's why they're also collected at Juicebox podcast.com go up to the top, there's a menu right there. Click on series, defining diabetes. Bold beginnings, the Pro Tip series, small sips, Omnipod, five ask Scott and Jenny. Mental wellness, fat and protein, defining thyroid. After Dark, diabetes, variables, Grand Rounds, cold, wind, pregnancy, type two, diabetes, GLP, meds, the math behind diabetes, diabetes myths and so much more, you have to go check it out. It's all there I'm waiting for you, and it's absolutely free, Juicebox podcast.com, the episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording, wrong wayrecording.com.

Please support the sponsors

---

The Juicebox Podcast is a free show, but if you'd like to support the podcast directly, you can make a gift here. Recent donations were used to pay for podcast hosting fees. Thank you to all who have sent 5, 10 and 20 dollars!

Donate

#1575 Severed Pancreas

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio -  Radio Public, Amazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.

John, 40, shares his family’s deep autoimmune history and his 11-year-old daughter’s new T1D diagnosis, plus his personal experience with GLP-1 meds.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

---

DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends, and welcome back to another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.

John 0:15
I am John. I'm from San Antonio, Texas, and I am the parent of a type 111 year old girl.

Scott Benner 0:27
If you or a loved one is newly diagnosed with type one diabetes and you're seeking a clear, practical perspective, check out the bold beginning series on the Juicebox Podcast. It's hosted by myself and Jenny Smith, an experienced diabetes educator with over 35 years of personal insight into type one, our series cuts through the medical jargon and delivers straightforward answers to your most pressing questions. You'll gain insight from real patients and caregivers and find practical advice to help you confidently navigate life with type one. You can start your journey informed and empowered with the Juicebox Podcast, the bold beginning series, and all of the collections in the Juicebox Podcast are available in your audio app and at Juicebox podcast.com in the menu. Please don't forget that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan or becoming bold with insulin,

this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is brought to you by my favorite diabetes organization, touched by type one. Please take a moment to learn more about them at touched by type one.org on Facebook and Instagram. Touched by type one.org check out their many programs, their annual conference awareness campaign, their D box program, dancing for diabetes. They have a dance program for local kids, a golf night and so much more. Touched by type one.org. You're looking to help or you want to see people helping people with type one. You want touched by type one.org. I'm having an on body vibe alert. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by ever since 365 the only one year where CGM, that's one insertion and one CGM a year, one CGM one year, not every 10 or 14 days ever since cgm.com/juicebox a huge thanks to my longest sponsor, Omnipod. Check out the Omnipod five now with my link, omnipod.com/juicebox you may be eligible for a free starter kit, a free Omnipod five starter kit at my link, go check it out. Omnipod.com/juicebox Terms and Conditions apply. Full terms and conditions can be found at omnipod.com/juicebox

John 3:01
I am John. I'm from San Antonio, Texas, and I am the parent of a type 111, year old girl, 11 year old. Do you have any other kids? I do. I have a almost eight year old as well. Oh, wow,

Scott Benner 3:14
eight and 1111. Year old has type one and she right. Was diagnosed. How old

John 3:18
she was diagnosed last year. Shoot, I think we're about six months in. It was October, October 15 of last year. It's

Scott Benner 3:27
only been about six months. Yeah. Refresh, still, yeah, this is a good conversation. Then I'm going to enjoy this. You won't. It'll be a horrible, it'll be a horrible turning up of emotions that you're not really ready to deal with yet. But I'm going to be like, awesome. What a great podcast. Yeah, tell me a little bit about your extended family. Is there other type one, other autoimmune? Is there any autoimmune in your family?

John 3:52
I came prepared, because I hear you ask this a lot. Thank you. So no type one. We kind of did some digging. My wife and I, she had a grandmother with type one and her mother. So my mother in law has Viti Lago, which is autoimmune. My wife has PCOS. My wife has hypothyroidism, and then on my side, we got a bunch of celiac and also some PCOS. I have some sisters with PCOS, so no type one, but a bunch of autoimmune from what we found after,

Scott Benner 4:24
after this, I thought you said the ground there was a grandmother. I'm sorry, yes, yes,

John 4:28
my wife's, my wife's grandmother had type one, correct? Okay,

Scott Benner 4:32
so what do you think the inclination is? Because you're not certainly the only person to say there's no type one in my family, but my wife's grandmother has it, like, Woody is that far enough away that you're like, that's not really

John 4:43
us. I think so, yeah, I think we know we're thinking, you know, our siblings, our parents, so, yeah, I think that's what it is. Probably,

Scott Benner 4:50
yeah, that's a misnomer for people. Yeah, it's like, it's like, if I was breeding puppies, and I was like, well, this puppy is from that, you know, two puppies. Way they're not related, true? That's true if you think of it that way. Yeah. Actually, you're related, just like two generations of banging. That's pretty close, yeah. So wait a minute, your wife has hypothyroidism, PCOS, yes, she have any trouble getting pregnant.

John 5:14
It did take us a little while. We didn't have to, you know, do any fertility, but I remember it, it took us, I think, longer than we thought it would. Would

Scott Benner 5:25
you mind if I asked you a question that I should be asking her? Sure, okay, her lady problems. Did they change drastically after giving birth?

John 5:35
She's still, I mean, you know, she's still, I think she still has the PCOS. I mean, no,

Scott Benner 5:41
no, she still has it. But like, John, you said, I think, like, that's not the way. I don't know how long you've been married man, but, like, don't give up that you're not sure. What I mean is, like, you know, frequent heavy periods, like, she had whatever she had going on prior. I don't know what she had going on prior. Maybe you can tell me, like, did it change or morph after giving

John 5:59
birth? Oh, I see, I see, yeah, no, that's still that. All that stuff still remains. Okay? She struggles

Scott Benner 6:06
with it, yeah? When your gyno says, Don't worry, if you have a baby, this will all be better. There's a thing they love to tell women, which I think is, yeah, crazy, but not true in our in our scenario, yeah, true in your scenario. Go make a baby, everything will get better. What is that like? Is that advice from the Old West? You know what I mean?

John 6:24
I think so. I think that. I think we did hear that too. It was almost like, Oh, it'll reset your system or something to that effect, yeah, not, not the

Scott Benner 6:31
case. A lot of things that you haven't found to be true in any aspect of life whatsoever. So far, right? Yeah, no, I hear you. Okay, so she's got those issues. You have the first your first is, you know, got 11 years old. How? How old are you guys?

John 6:44
I'm 40, and my wife is 37 so we're not too far apart.

Scott Benner 6:48
Okay, all right. So what's the first sign of the type one?

John 6:52
It was her hair was falling out. So my wife, you know, the brushes the hair in the morning, before school, she's gonna get some ready, and she's like, Man, I'm, I'm getting a lot of your hair is coming out in the brush, you know, notice it in the shower. And then, you know, we just took a good look at her, and we noticed that she was, she had lost weight. She was looking really thin. She was always thirsty and hungry. Later, she told us, oh, you know, I was drinking, you know, like, I'd take a water bottle to school and I'd be done before class even starts. Now, of course, she didn't sure they went to still after, but yeah, things like that. You know, I had to wake up three times to go to the bathroom at night again, which we didn't know, but she was experiencing so, yeah, there were lots of signs that, looking back now, we know what it was, but we had, we had no idea.

Scott Benner 7:39
Did it spark your wife to think hypothyroid at first? Because there's some overlapping stuff there with the hair loss, the weight stuff like that. I

John 7:47
don't think so. You should be honest. I remember her coming to me being like, Hey, I think I'm going to take her to the doctor, because, you know this, this is, this is concerning, and I'll be honest. We were like, yeah, maybe it's some sort of vitamin deficiency, or maybe she needs, you know, some sort of supplements, like, that's literally what we thought it was. But it was all mother intuition, because she said, I gotta take her. She was Something's off. And so, you know, she she took her in, and it was kind of strange. They didn't poke her. They didn't do a finger poke at the doctor, which I feel like would have answered our question. Well, hindsight and all you know, right, right? But they sent her for labs, and then we got a call the next day from a not our doctor, another doctor in the practice, which I thought was strange, and she sounded very flustered on the phone. She left both of us with voicemail because we were working. She was like, I need someone to call me back. Like, as soon as possible. Like, call me back. Please call me back. And so I get that, and you know, you start freaking out, and call and she said, You need to go get her and take her to the hospital right now. And we were like, Okay. And that pretty much started our journey towards this, this whole

Scott Benner 8:59
ordeal, John, did she say, I think she has type one diabetes, or did she just say, get her to the hospital?

John 9:04
She did. She said her blood sugar was 800 and, yeah. And of course, we don't, you know. We don't know. We're like, oh, well, you know, how bad is that? And she's

Scott Benner 9:14
like, that's almost 1000 way to go, kid, yeah, you don't, you don't know. Yeah, you don't know what you're talking about, right? As you're driving to that to that hospital, what's your feeling like she's in imminent danger or just, just the thing we have to handle

John 9:27
right now? So the doctor was like, you know? She was like, You should take her now. She was like, if this is my child, I would take her now. She was like, you know, she's okay, right? She's not in, she's not gonna die right this moment. So she, I guess she tried to reassure us that, but it was still pretty, like, urgent, like, you need to do this. I remember even because I think it was like noon, and I remember even thinking, you know, after we got the phone, we were like, well, could we maybe we'll just take her in the morning? Or, you know, we kind of downplayed it a little bit. But. Then we were like, You know what? We should listen to the recommendation, and we should go ahead and take her in. So I

Scott Benner 10:06
need one more second on that. You actually got off the phone, and you're like, we could probably do this tomorrow.

John 10:11
Yeah. No, no lie. We thought about it, like, okay, because I think, and again, this is a blur. I think she even mentioned, you know, we have a good endocrinologist we work with. I'll set you up with her. And, you know, we were even thinking, like, well, maybe we can just go see the endocrinologist and, you know, go go to them directly, instead of having to deal with the hospital and the weight and the mess. And, yeah, we have our other daughter. What are we gonna do with her? You know? So she was

Scott Benner 10:37
clear, like, go to the emergency room right now. She was, she was man, John, I got to imagine every doctor listening right now is like, Well, yeah, this is why we talk to you people like that, because you don't listen. Yes, yes, good. That's why everyone's story is like, Oh, they were so, like, aggressive about going to the hospital. And they're probably like, yeah, because you have no idea how many people just don't listen to us when we say that. I guess it's an interesting problem. I love that, all right, so, but you did go to the hospital?

John 11:02
Yes, yeah, we went to the hospital. My wife went and picked her up. I actually work closer to the hospital. They told us to take her to so we actually met there. We were on the phone. They called me right when they were on the way, and we were all talking, you know, on the speaker phone. And my daughter was, like, confused. She was like, Okay. She's like, I, you know, I feel she got a little nervous. Yeah? She Yeah. I think she got a little nervous. We know nothing about diabetes. So I was like, I think I even told her, Hey, maybe, you know, this is something where you can take a medicine and you'll be fine.

Scott Benner 11:32
It's just out there, like with the pixie dust. He's like, You know what? I'll probably, they'll probably just rub something on your arm, and this will be over soon.

John 11:39
Don't worry. Yes, so I, you know, felt horrible hours after saying that. Did

Scott Benner 11:44
you go back to her and say, Hey, sorry. I'll keep my mouth shut till I know what I'm talking about next time. Shoot,

John 11:49
shoot. I don't even think I did, but hindsight now I'm remembering that I said that. But now, I mean, it's, it's, it was she probably a shock? Yeah, she

Scott Benner 11:56
probably doesn't remember, you know, yeah, going from like, in the car, like, I don't know what the big deal is to the actual happening, right? Like, do you see the shift in her quickly, or are you more focused on what's happening to you? Like, like, What is your perspective in the hospital? You worried about her, you're worried about your wife, you're worried about being strong. Can you tell me what your focus was? This episode is brought to you by Omnipod. Would you ever buy a car without test driving it first? That's a big risk to take on a pretty large investment. You wouldn't do that, right? So why would you do it when it comes to choosing an insulin pump, most pumps come with a four year lock in period through the DME channel, and you don't even get to try it first. But not Omnipod five. Omnipod five is available exclusively through the pharmacy, which means it doesn't come with a typical four year DME lock in period. Plus you can get started with a free 30 day trial to be sure it's the right choice for you or your family. My daughter has been wearing an Omnipod every day for 17 years. Are you ready to give Omnipod five a try? Request your free Starter Kit today at my link, omnipod.com/juicebox Terms and Conditions apply. Eligibility may vary. Full terms and conditions can be found at omnipod.com/juicebox find my link in the show notes of this podcast player, or at Juicebox podcast.com you Today's episode is sponsored by a long term CGM that's going to help you to stay on top of your glucose readings the ever since 365 I'm talking, of course, about the world's first and only CGM that lasts for one year, one year, one CGM. Are you tired of those other CGM, the ones that give you all those problems that you didn't expect, knocking them off, false alerts not lasting as long as they're supposed to. If you're tired of those constant frustrations, use my link ever since cgm.com/juicebox, to learn more about the ever since 365 some of you may be able to experience the ever since 365 for as low as $199 for a full year. At my link, you'll find those details, and can learn about eligibility ever since cgm.com/juicebox check it out.

John 14:16
For for me, it was, it was all on once we were there, and she was there in the bed, and we're waiting on, you know, they put you in the triage, and they get you back there, and we're waiting there, and they poke her there, and I think, I think it was too high, it wouldn't register on their meter. And they told us that. So they were like, so that means it's over 600 you know, because ours goes up to 600 like they told us, and at that point, it's just, you're starting to increasingly worry, you know, because of the attention and the and the hospital staff, and this is part of what I wanted to say, we'll get to it. But we got pretty good care, I think. And so they, they were, they were good, and they were good to her, and they, you know, it's a children's hospital, so they have their way of talking to the kids. And explaining things, and she needed an IV. And I don't like an IV, and I feel like that would be scary for me as a 40 year old and for a 10 year old to

Scott Benner 15:09
get it. John, have you never had an IV? I have. It's

John 15:13
only been a few times I had to get a dental, a tooth removed one time, and they put me out. And it was, I don't know, I just have anxiety about about it, but you got an IV for a dental procedure. Yeah, I had a bad cavity, and they and I had to go to an oral surgeon to pull it. Oh, okay. And, yeah, and he was like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna put you out, you know. So because I was, I was stressing. I was, yeah, the dentist is not my thing.

Scott Benner 15:38
It must piss people off when they hear me say how relaxed I'm at the dentist's office. Oh no, yeah, I just love it there. It's so calm. You're like, oh gosh, the IV seemed like a big step to you.

John 15:50
Yes, that's when I think I you knew, like, Okay, this is, this is serious, like, this is not. Just take this and you're

Scott Benner 15:55
fine. Wow. How far is your understanding of diabetes come in such a short time? Do you think

John 16:00
so? I mean, you know, they're in that moment or since to now? No to now? Oh, okay, I think we are. We have learned a ton. Listening to this podcast has helped tremendously. We use the vernacular tug of war, crush it and catch it like it's a part of of, kind of how we manage. So I think we've come a long way. I still, and we're still not an expert. Just the other day, we were talking about bolusing for fat and protein, and I told my wife, I was like, this is, like, we're getting to, like, the next level stuff. I was like, I think we're pretty good at the basics now. Now we need to, like, fine tune this, like, next level stuff. Yeah, that is, like, the expert level.

Scott Benner 16:46
Well, I hope it makes you feel better to know that I'm not an expert at it. I don't know that anybody is, you know, right? Arden's on a steroid right now, and it just feels like we've been fighting with it for a week now, you know, so and I know what to do when I'm doing it, but it's, you know, sometimes you're just like, it's not enough, or you're sending so much insulin through the site, the site gets flooded, and it just doesn't work as well. And you're like, well, I could be doing this or that, and then the reality of life is like, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, if I said to her, like, let's change your pump every you know, I don't know, 36 hours while you're on steroids, she'd be like, okay, Sparky. Or, you know, like, Let's inject instead. Or she'd be like, why don't we just let it be a little high? Yeah, the reality like, creeps in a little bit. And in six months, if you're feel confident enough with foundational ideas that you're thinking like, well, let's try to level up a little bit here in six months. Man, that's awesome. Really, you know, I think it's fantastic. Do you think your wife has the same level of comfort as you

John 17:51
do? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. We usually do our best to to manage together and make decisions together. She does do all the changes, the CGM, changes in the in the pod changes, you know, she has more nimble, nimble hands, and so she does that. But I've been there, you know, we kind of do it as a team, so it's good to kind of be all all together in the same boat. You stand in the back here, leading, yeah, pretty much push the buttons, you know. So I'll be there controlling the phone and, okay, okay, stick it on. Okay, let me push the Let me push the button. Okay, here we go, you know. So,

Scott Benner 18:26
John, yeah, are you really not nimble? Or is that something? She's told you,

John 18:29
I'm a bigger guy, you know, and my hands are pretty big, gotcha. And I don't know that little pot is a little, I feel like, like, ham. You're just like, yeah, like, I drop it, or I'd put a crooked or I squish the little tape. I don't know,

Scott Benner 18:43
you're giving me an image of Godzilla trying to put on somebody's Dexcom for them.

John 18:49
Like, yeah, exactly. You know,

Scott Benner 18:53
are your hands huge? I mean, not

John 18:56
huge, but, you know, so I don't know. I mean, I could do it if I had to, but that's kind of been our routine. You know, we've, kind of, we have a little routine in

Scott Benner 19:05
place. Now, listen, I want to tell you something. I have pretty big hands. It does make simple things difficult, like, I often drop things that are, like, small, but you've done it before, right? Like you've tried or, yes, okay,

John 19:21
well, I've done some of it. I don't think I have done it. I don't think I've done a pod change.

Scott Benner 19:26
Is it outside of your comfort zone, beyond the big hands thing?

John 19:30
No. I mean, I could do it. Like I said, I've seen it enough times that I could do it. It's just, I think now it's, I think the beginning, it was a nervous thing, but I think now it's just, we're in the routine so much that it's just kind of, kind of how we do it.

Scott Benner 19:42
And your kids only 11, but Arden's 20. She's almost 21 I have to tell you the amount of times I've seen that kid with her pants half down or like, something like, I mean, it's so it must be weird to people from the outside, like, you know, like her friends are here. She's like, I just have to change my pump real quick. And she just like, you know, drops. Pants and, like, pulls off something or whatever. Like, there's no, I don't know, there's a lot of comfort between us, but I also, like, you know, I was also a stay at home dad for a really long time, so it might, might feel a little differently. It's interesting to me that you're, are you nervous about it

John 20:14
at all? Maybe a little, yeah, like I said, I'm just nervous that maybe I would do it wrong and mess it up, and then we've wasted one, or we have to John,

Scott Benner 20:22
we have to get past that. You're gonna waste a lot of them. Don't you worry? Yeah, a lot of waste is gonna happen between now and after this. Did you say you work near your house? You're not in the house, right? When you work during the day, go,

John 20:34
I go into the office four days a week. So we get, we get one work at home day, which is the remnant of of COVID.

Scott Benner 20:39
Yeah. How about your wife? What does she do? So she

John 20:42
actually used to work in the school the kids go to, but recently they had some in the district, they had some reorganization. So now she works out of an office in a different school. So she does some administrative work in a back office at a school, at an elementary school here, so she's not too far either from where they where they are.

Scott Benner 21:00
And how is your daughter making out with her care? Like, is she pretty button friendly? Understands carb counting. Like, what level do you think she's at?

John 21:07
I think she's getting pretty good. She She carb counts pretty well. She estimates fairly well. The other day they at school, they gave them a like, a pop school for to celebrate something. And she was like, Yeah, I just did 30 carbs, and I just went with it. And, I mean, she didn't spike up. So we were like, okay, she didn't really check with us. So we have a group, a group text that sometimes we'll get a, you know, hey, I'm gonna have this or, Hey, what do you think this is? She went to a birthday party last weekend, and she sent us a picture of her plate that she was going to eat, and we kind of gave her some guidance. So that's kind of been our, our method when, when she's not with us, or fairway, she's done fairly well.

Scott Benner 21:48
Yeah, it's good. That's awesome. Do you think she was anywhere near right on the popsicle? Or do you think she just

John 21:53
got lucky? You know, we did some googling after, I think she was pretty close. It was a pretty big one, you know. And so I think, yeah, I think she probably did pretty good for her.

Scott Benner 22:01
That's awesome. What do you think her reactions been to this last six months? Have you had conversations with her? Have you witnessed something? Do you think it's changed her in ways that are are obvious.

John 22:13
We haven't talked too much about it, other than the, you know, the management and how we how we do things. She has shared with us. You know that it definitely has made some things more difficult. You know, she has to

Scott Benner 22:32
do more

John 22:34
thinking before doing things, whereas, you know, yeah, a normal kid, doesn't we? We We took her to the birthday party on a couple days ago, and we had our other daughter, and we went to Starbucks and got her a frappuccino. And we didn't have to think, here you go. And so in one sense, I was like, oh, man, you know, our other daughter has it, has it, has it pretty well, you know, if you think about it compared, because if we have, if we had our older one with us, you know, it'd be a whole ordeal. And, okay, how much and what, you know, Pre Bolus. And so I feel for her, because she's a kid. But all that considered, she does very well, and she's very responsible. Sometimes she takes advantage of, I think, her being a little low, she'll want a candy or something, which is, you know, again, she's a kid, yeah. I mean, she's a kid,

Scott Benner 23:23
so we sounds like nerds. Time to me, yeah, exactly. Listen, be careful of the guilt that comes with going off with your other kid without her. And it feeling because it felt normal, right? Yes, yeah. And that made you feel bad,

John 23:40
a little bit, a little bit. It made me feel like, oh, man, this sucks for Yeah, yeah.

Scott Benner 23:45
So I'll just my bit of advice here is not to let your non type one daughter realize that her living her life without diabetes makes you feel guilty. Okay, yeah, that's, that's fair, yeah, and you don't want her to feel guilty about it either, right, right, and you can't flaunt it in front of the other one. It's a, yeah, your life got more difficult, like six months ago. John, Oh, yeah. Did it feel like it was already difficult enough? Like this maybe wasn't necessary. If anyone was trying to level you up, this wasn't needed. I mean, we were doing well. I thought, you know, I mean, we're not wealthy or well off, but I think we're pretty, pretty solid middle class. I mean, we we have a house and cars, and the kids do extracurricular activities and we take vacations. I mean, yeah, it was definitely, was definitely a blow, I think, to our perfect life, I guess you built the life you were you meant to build, right, right, and it and you're 40, and things had gotten like a little you had a little vibe going, kids are getting older, like stuff was happening and now, so can I ask you, how that, like, how does that impact you, your wife and your relationship?

John 24:57
It's definitely hard. Yeah. Because I think we both struggle with trying to balance her health, with letting her be a kid. We have a trip coming up to Disney in June that we have had booked for more than a year. I'm a planner, so I booked things we had in advance, and we never questioned going. We were like, No, we're not going to change that. But, you know, just looking at that now, we're like, Oh shoot. Like, okay, we're going to have to take a boatload of supplies and we're going to have to really be careful and really plan, and it's just, it just changes, I think, and so it's difficult, because now when we kind of try to plan things, or when we try to, I guess, do our best to manage her, it's it just makes this much more stressful.

Scott Benner 25:55
Yeah, listen, I would offer this. I don't know if it's more difficult. I just think it sucks. Yeah, like, you're gonna do something, something's going in that bag. So whatever, you'll put in extra pumps and extra CGM and, you know, an extra glucagon and that kind of stuff. When Arden was little, I would pack basically, like, double. And then eventually I was, like, that was way too much. You know what I mean? Like, you get home and you unpack, like, okay, and then the next time you take a little less and then you get it down to like a, you know, a happy little medium Arden went away last weekend overnight, and she took more stuff than she needed. She took two CGM with her, she took two pumps with her. She took insulin, she took an extra glucagon, extra test strips, five juice boxes, like some gummy bears. Took Pop Tarts. She's, I'm like, What are Pop Tarts first? She goes overnight. They work really well. And I'm like, okay, okay. And, like, she's like, put a banana in here. And I'm like, Okay, I put a banana. She got this little bag. She takes it all the way with her. Her and her boyfriend go where they're going to this, like, it's like a school event, you know, like, there's like a dinner and all this stuff. And she came back the next day, and I opened the she put the bag on the counter, and I opened it up, and it's exactly the way it was when I signed a lot. She didn't use one thing in that bag. So, and I've learned to just be like, Okay, well, good. Then, you know, that's excellent. She was ready right now, like she had it there. If she needed it, it's all good, right? The first time we flew, I put some stuff. I still think this is a good idea. The bulk of what we take I put in a check bag, right? But I carry on enough stuff that I can't believe this is what I'm gonna say. But like, I carry on enough stuff that if the plane crashes, and we live through it, like on an island, for a couple of days, I'll have time to go find the fuselage and pull out the other bag. Oh my gosh, okay, yeah, is how I thought about it when I was when she was younger. Now, the way I think about it is we only travel to places where we can get to pharmacies, right, right, and then when we don't, and we don't travel that often, but we did recently leave the US, and we took extra stuff then, because, you know, and we and I put a little more of it, I balanced it a little more and carry on. So it's almost like I carried on enough stuff for the week, and I put the extra in the check bag so that if, like, the check bag got lost or something, we could make out for a while, like, but I mean, the the fact that I might have put eight seconds worth of thought into that is 20 years, not 20 years, but like, you know, she's almost 21 and she was diagnosed when she was two. So it's been a long time. The amount of effort I put into it, thinking about it the first time versus this time is very different, you know, like she was away that night that I just discussed over the weekend, my son, I went to a buddy's house, and I looked at my wife like she she was out that afternoon. She's lost a bunch of weight. She was out buying, like, bras and underwear and stuff like that. She doesn't fit into anymore. She needed new stuff. She's like, out shopping. I did some stuff at the house. She came home. I was like, the kids are not here. I was, like, quickly, put on some of those clothes you just bought, and let's go get dinner again. Let's not go to, like, some like, close like, let's go to a decent restaurant and sit down and eat. And, like, we sat out on, like, the sidewalk outside of a place, and we were eating and we talked about things. And, you know, I never thought about Arden one time, like, I never thought about it, I never thought about her, I never thought about the coal live. It's just like, we just had dinner, you know, and we hung out, and we went for a ride afterwards, and, like, you know, if we were younger, we might have liked, you know, but, I mean, we had that kind of time. Yeah. My point is, is that, like, the way you feel now is, like, not the way you're always gonna feel, but, good, yeah, just don't hold yourself here longer than you need to, I guess is my advice, right? But I mean, six months in man like this is all just, this is fresh, you know? Yeah, yep, you and your wife little more on her than you. The Diabetes, daughter's doing pretty well with it. Let's pivot for a second. Because in your notes here, it says that you went on a GLP medication, but you went off it. I'm interested in

John 30:06
why? Oh sure, yeah, yeah. And so part of this is going to sound like me complaining, because every time I see the Dangs at bound commercial, it makes me mad. So I've struggled with weight, you know, for, I mean, I want to say forever. I mean, you know, I look back at I mean, even in high school, I thought I was big, bigger. Yeah, I thought I was big, but I look at pictures now and I'm like, you know, I probably was normal. It probably was just in my head. But now, you know, I am overweight. And so I got on, I got onto bound in August. So almost a year ago, it was working great, and I was losing weight, and I was increasing every four weeks, increasing the dose, no symptoms, no side effects. It was, it was working. How it should? I remember New Year's Eve. So that had been so August to to December, right? So five months? Yeah, I remember be celebrating New Year's Eve. We were there shooting off fireworks in our in my parents backyard, and I remember thinking like, man, like I'm doing it, like, this is gonna be my year 2025. Is gonna be my year. Like I'm gonna finally continue to drop this weight and continue to get in better shape. And then, I guess, because that crossed my mind not a few days later, it was January 3, I woke up and I had pretty bad diarrhea, and I thought I ate something bad, I'll be fine, but it didn't go away for, like, a week, and then also some stomach pain and some discomfort and bloating and gas and just a whole number

Scott Benner 31:35
of issues. Was this wrapped around a, um, a dose change, no,

John 31:40
this was, I was on week three of, I think, 12.5 okay, so I was just about to go up to 15, actually, but I hadn't yet. And so called the doctor. He was like, Yeah. He was like, you know, it's sometimes common. He was like, you know, we may have to take it down to 10, but come in do some blood work. We'll just, we'll just make sure everything's okay. And then, you know. So I go in daily the blood and then the doctor called me a couple days later, and it was like, Hey, your lipase lip I don't know how you pronounce that lipid lippies. Lipase is 600 and it shouldn't be more than 100 or he gave me the range. I don't remember. Okay, he was like, so I would recommend that you stop taking it, and let's watch this. So I did, and I went back, and they did the blood again, and it was so high. Then I waited probably a month, and I did it again, and it had come down, but it was still elevated. And so he was like, I don't think you should take this. He was like, you know, you don't want to risk pancreatitis because you're symptomatic. He was like, if it was just the high level, but no symptoms, I would probably be okay. But he was like, with symptoms, plus the result the blood test, I don't think you should take this anymore.

Scott Benner 33:03
Did they check it prior to you starting the GLP, no, they did not. Awesome. Yeah. Did the diarrhea go away when you stopped it?

John 33:13
Yes. So that's gotten better. I still have, like, some intermittent kind of, I don't even want to call them issues. It's just, like, every now and then I'll have so I don't even know if it's in my head or if I feel it, because it's what, I'm eight or something, but, but yes, it's, it's the symptoms have have gone away. I actually just went in last week for another blood test to see where the lipase is at, so I guess we'll see where it's at now.

Scott Benner 33:35
But, but, yeah, you never had any pancreatitis symptoms, though, no and how much weight were you lose? Did you lose?

John 33:44
I'm fairly tall. I'm six two, and I started at right about 350 and I got down to about 310 Nice. Now I've put back on probably 20 of that since, but, but yeah, I mean, it was it was working. It was working, great.

Scott Benner 34:00
What was it doing for you? Was it the amount you were able to eat your hunger? What were you getting out of it?

John 34:06
Yeah, hunger was less. I was eating less. I noticed that I would feel full longer. So it was definitely situation. A great job there. Yeah.

Scott Benner 34:17
Okay, and are you disappointed enough that you'd try it again. Like, a big Where are you at with like, I mean, 40 pounds must have been a pretty big decrease for you must that must have been, like, noticeable.

John 34:30
Yeah, it was, it was amazing. My a 1c, was down. I was flirting with pre diabetes, and it had gone down. I also have a non alcoholic fatty liver, and so those numbers had gotten better. The liver enzyme tests they run, I go every six months, and those had gotten better. So it was like everything was getting better. So I would try it again. I mean that actually, when I get this blood test back, that was, if I hope it's then the number has gone down, and that was actually going to be my, my. Goal was to say, Well, hey, can we maybe, maybe try this again at a lower dose?

Scott Benner 35:04
Listen, I think it's important to note that I barely got through high school, and nothing I said on this podcast should be blah, blah, blah, blah. You had high lipase levels with no pancreatitis symptoms at all, and you lost 40 pounds, and your biggest problem was that you had diarrhea, yes. How does that compare to your biggest

John 35:25
problems? Now, I would prefer not to, not to get type two diabetes, and

Scott Benner 35:32
I'll tell you, like, I don't know how long I've been doing this now, you know what I mean, the GOP, maybe a couple of years. Even, John, I really appreciate you bringing this up, so I get to say this, thanks. Like there was a fair amount of time there where I didn't have a solid bowel movement while my body was expelling whatever horribleness I had been packing into it for 50 years. What I would do is I would just deal with it, and I kept taking my vitamins and my nutrients and doing my, you know, exercise and I was losing weight, like, I have to tell you, like, I don't think I cared what was happening if I was if I was losing weight. And I'm not saying that that's a thing you should do for certain. I would look closer at this, because it didn't take me a lot of looking to find out that high life pace numbers when you feel perfectly fine is common and it rarely means silent pancreatitis. There's plenty of good content you can go, like look into about acute pancreatitis guidelines with the enzyme levels. It's not, yeah, I mean your reasons why your lipase can climb when your pancreas is fine, glps, inhibitor, steroids, opioids, a bunch of different medications stimulate or slow renal clearance. Diabetic Ketoacidosis can give you enzyme leakage. There's a lot of different things. Gallstones could make it higher. Crohn's disease, infectious colitis, like chronic kidney disease, is a thing we don't want you to have, obviously, yeah, if it's not a renal problem, then also strenuous exercise, trauma, sepsis, like these things all make it higher. Let's ask it can rapid weight loss. I don't know. Like it sounds to me like you just, you know, you hit a spot where you maybe ate some stuff around New Year's Eve that made your stomach a little upset, and that got you to the doctor, because it went on for a week, and then he did your blood work, and now you're suddenly 20 pounds heavier. Yeah. Is that about what happened? Yeah, it's about what happened yourself right to 20 pounds is what you did. Yes, yes. I mean, John, listen, at your height and weight. I don't know. I mean, I can give it to you from my personal experience and from my personal perspective, it's obviously not medical like advice at all, but I know where I was and where I was wasn't going to end well. So I mean to say that, like something else bad's happening, but that that's going away. I don't know how to say this exactly, but like, you're giving yourself a better shot. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like, no type two diabetes, no, all the other stuff that comes with weight. Like your joints probably started feeling better, right? Like, did your back get less stiff? All that stuff started happening for you. Yes, yes, John, what are we talking about here? Just go to the bathroom and just go to the bathroom and be like, Oh, that was horrible. And then get out of there and be thinner. Oh,

John 38:29
I think I might, I think that's yeah. And

Scott Benner 38:32
maybe 10, like, go to 10 for a while, and just maybe ride 10 for a couple months, if you want to. But, I mean, the truth is, is, like, once you're I mean, I'm handling it fine. That's not me. I'm not showing off. I'm not like, unlike you, John. I mean, I've been on it for a couple of years now, and I took my shot, oh, day late this week, and I'm almost two pounds heavier than I was on the sixth day. Yeah, I'm not out there, like, knocking down a ton of food or anything like that. It just works the way it works. Man, yeah, if I stop taking it, would I gain 20 pounds back? I probably would. Like, I mean, I don't know another way around it, like, I eat, I do not eat a lot of food, and to put two pounds back on just because that medication was out of my system. For you know, it's crazy. I don't know what it's doing, but Right, it does something. Man, yeah. Anyway, I not a doctor, not advice, but I bet you, if you weighed 240 pounds, you'd be happier. I agree. Yeah, I agree. And healthier and and I imagine that this is a process. Like, maybe I'm wrong. Like, listen, you don't want to if you get diarrhea for nine years, I'm assuming you'll be like, Well, this was, this wasn't good, you know. But I don't know, did you eat something that, looking back now, was very fatty, or something like that, or something you hadn't been eating for a while prior to that? I don't think so. I mean, I couldn't put my finger on anything. I mean. Obviously the holidays, right? So you're, you're not eating your normal stuff, right? I mean, but I don't know it works on me really well. Like, even at the holidays, I was like, Oh, all right, I'll just have

John 40:09
a piece. Same. I lost weight over Thanksgiving week, Christmas week. Yes, it was, it was absolutely mind boggling, correct?

Scott Benner 40:17
Yeah, no, I know it's something. Well, listen, I mean, I was gonna say, maybe try we go V, but, I mean, there's that extra G, I P, in the in the Z bound that is definitely going to help you with weight loss. I don't know, man, like good luck. I'll say that, does your wife try it for does your wife have any need for it? Anybody else in your family using it?

John 40:37
She is actually on we go V, and she's been on it for a little while, and she has done very well. So her, she has lost a lot of weight. It was funny, your your story about your wife getting the clothes, she's been going through that too. She went through her closet, and she was like, three quarters of stuff doesn't fit me. It's too big. Yeah, yeah. So it's been great. She, she's done really well on it. Hasn't done she's not even at the highest dose. She's She's been at the I think that one is 1.7 I think for wegovi as the second, and she's been on that for months, and it's, it's worked really well, any help with their PCOS. I think if, if I asked her, I'm pretty sure she would say yes. She's still, she still gets pretty bad periods. Yeah. So I don't know if, if that piece has gotten any better, but, but I think overall, just because of the drop of the weight, I mean, I think she feels better overall, I

Scott Benner 41:28
would imagine, yeah, also the fat, like, you know, impacts your your hormone levels too. So, you know, just getting those more in check might be helpful. Man, yeah, I feel for you that something happened, because it's, I mean, listen, I I've talked to, I talked to plenty of people are like, I took it, it was magic. And I've talked to people who are like, I took it and I had to stop. But, I mean, I think it's interesting to talk through the why you had to stop. Like, I think I brought this up the other day, but I was talking to a friend who's like, you know, contacted me and said, like, I'm gonna stop doing this now. And I said, why? You know? He's like, Ah, it's not for me. And I was like, Oh, what's that mean? You know? And I realized after a while, like, I was having a conversation on the phone, and they were in the parking lot of a convenience store having lunch. And I was like, he so I don't feel well on this. I was like, really? So you're slowing your digestion down with a medication and still eating at a convenience store. I'm like, Yeah, that might not feel good. Like you're gonna have to do something here. And just went with, well, I'm just gonna go with, like, reduced calories. And I was like, why don't you try that? Like I couldn't wrap my head around like, I'm like, Yeah, but do that now, right? But so some people, it's not gonna be for some people, and by the way, they're gonna be some people who are gonna have actual medical complications with it, and they certainly shouldn't be using it. You know what? I mean, true, right? I just, I don't know if you're that person or not. And I mean, what was your confidence level with the doctor? Did they really feel like they knew what they were talking about?

John 42:52
Well, I mean, I trusted them, and I saw PCP for probably about 1520, years, but I actually was, was trying to make an appointment with at work. I work for a pretty big company, and so we have, like, an in house clinic, and they offer weight loss consultation. So I was actually going to go see them and see if, you know, they would give me a different opinion. Yeah. So, yeah, that's that's been my my plan. I

Scott Benner 43:14
know this is nowhere near I'm Texas is a big state, but Dr Blevins, who's been on the podcast a couple of times, he's in

John 43:19
Austin, I have heard, I have heard his episodes, yeah, yeah, we're not, we're not too far. We're in San Antonio, so we're right hour from Austin.

Scott Benner 43:27
Yeah, I've only been there once. I flew in, I went right into Austin, I gave a talk, and I left again. Was the way I see the it's always how I see the country, by the way, it's like airport hotel. Hey everybody. And then boom, gone. So, yeah, I'm actually going to stay a couple of oh, I shouldn't say this. Never mind telling you all where I'm going to be. That's the first time I've ever had that thought. I was like, Yeah, I probably shouldn't say that. I don't know, man, I hope you, I hope you figure it out. Because, I mean, not poopy, but type two diabetes, not exactly a great trade off. So that's true. When you think of it like that. I mean, that's how I think about it. I think about, like, diarrhea, not fun, not trying to kill you, right, right? And, and it'll probably, you know, I'm sure it'll, it'll abate at some point, like, I don't know, like, I really wish I understood more because I went through it. Like, don't get me wrong, like I was, like, I was going through it. I don't know why it changed, other than to say that my body's changed significantly. Like, you know, I wish I had a more technical understanding of it, and maybe I should look into it. I would say that the very colloquial way I thought about it was, there's a lot of bad stuff in here, and I'm getting rid of it. I have no idea if she's right or not. So anyway, what made you wanna come on the podcast? That probably something I should ask you an

John 44:47
hour ago. No, I mean, I listen. I love podcasts. Podcasts are like my thing, like you in the car, you know, getting me. So I have a podcast on TVs and TV and shows and movies and and so then when diabetes have. And I was like, Oh, let me see if there's a podcast about diabetes. And sure enough, I found the podcast. And I always liked hearing this. I like hearing the stories people's different stories about how they manage and diagnosis. And so I thought, hey, and I think you had posted, you had some slots open. And so I said, Hey, maybe it's a good chance to get on

Scott Benner 45:19
John. I see here, rapid weight loss plans can indirectly nudge lipase up via gallbladder sludge ketosis or lipid storms. But if you stay symptom free and the value sits under three times. ULN, it's rarely a harbinger of silent pancreatitis, you can slow your weight, cut down, keep the to keep the gallbladder moving, and repeat the lab three times, ULN, and what was your number? It was at 603 times. UL and just means three times the top end of the normal range. Okay, so the top end of the normal range would be 60, so three times would be 180 yours was, say it again, 600 600 that was a lot. I'm not gonna lie. That sounds like a lot more and but you checked it again, but you were off the medication at that point. Yeah,

John 46:10
the last time I had it checked, which was in probably March, it was right around 80,

Scott Benner 46:15
okay, but you're also gaining weight, not losing weight, yes, no. Symptoms of pancreatitis, not that. Yeah, no. All right, John, listen, yeah, I think you know where I'm at.

John 46:31
Yeah, I can't hear you.

Scott Benner 46:34
I'd like to see you alive, and then we'll worry about the rest of this. Well, true, unless it's gonna, like, listen, also, pancreas is horrible, right? It's not like, exactly, you know, there's no risk in there, right? Anyway, I would do some Googling and some checking and really ask some of those questions for yourself and see if you get back answers that, you know what I mean, like, see if you get back answers that make sense to you. Yeah, it makes sense. So you love podcasts. That's it's good for me. I appreciate that. What kind of podcast Do you usually listen to before this? I

John 47:07
have a sports one. You know, local, local sports here in town. I'll do a I have a one about movies, one about TV shows. So, yeah, I have a pretty good rotation going. This is not a shameless plug, but my daughter and I, we actually started, uh, kind of making our own on, uh, we talk about Disney movies. We do, like, a nice, like, a re watch, yeah. So, so we, we have, like, we probably get, like, 20 listens per episode. Awesome. You know, yes, it's our little, our humble, uh, and it's, it's with the type one daughter. So I mean, it's kind of our bonding, our little bonding moments. Yeah, I love

Scott Benner 47:45
that you got little microphones. You sit down and watch together and you click talk. That's awesome. Yeah, it's fun time. No kidding, you don't want to listen to me and Arden watch TV. We just got done severance. Oh, I love severance. Now, if you like severance, you would not have enjoyed watching it with Arden tonight. Every episode, and I'm like, I don't know why I'm watching this. Like nothing happened again.

John 48:09
Yeah, it was the second season. Was a little slow. Holy Hell, John, yeah, it picks up at the end. Though, the last episode was pretty

Scott Benner 48:17
intense, that's what people told me. And then I watched it last night, and it got done like, when someone owes me 20 hours of my life, I actually said Dart. And I was like, Hey, listen, is it possible that Ben Stiller is fucking with me directly? Oh, wow, I did not enjoy it at all. I just want to be clear, don't you can judge me. It's fine. I just like, I've had people tell me, Oh, you didn't understand. I'm like, Nah, I understood it fine. Don't you worry? Yeah?

John 48:47
I mean, it tweets their own. It's not, you know, has different tastes. Yeah, please.

Scott Benner 48:51
You don't have to, like, the same things. But like, what I'm saying is, like, sitting here watching it with me, you would have not enjoyed that at all. Like, like, people are like, Oh, the acting is great. I'm like, Yeah, awesome. It's great acting. I thought people acted really well in it. The acting was good. I understood the story. I don't care. It's like, it got interesting for me for five seconds in the in the finale, yeah, and then they ruined that. Let me just May I walk you through it. John, real quick, yeah, yeah. He was sending videotape messages back and forth to himself. Like, at first, I was like, Oh, this is interesting. Like, you know, these two are gonna have to collaborate on getting, you know, his wife out of the thing, and he's gonna change floors and change people, so they have to both be on board. I was like, I got it. And then 10 minutes later, I'm like, are we still doing this? I got it already. Like, let's go, like, this is just maspidatory at this point. Like, get moving, right? So then the good feeling I had went away very quickly. And then the way it ends, if I could physically have attacked the actors, I would have, like, when it act it ended. I. Like that doesn't make any sense. That literally doesn't make let me tell you how it ended for me, two people realize that they can't live in a volcano, but they could live outside of a volcano, and then they got to the door where they could leave the volcano, and instead of leaving the volcano, they jumped into the volcano. Yes, yes, you go, that was it. There's no truth in this art, is what I thought, which is the thing I yell at my wife a lot while she's watching television.

John 50:29
Yeah, I did have that thought I was like, so they still kind of run around these hallways for the rest of their lives, for

Scott Benner 50:34
eight seconds before someone murders them. Yeah, it's not for the rest of their lives that if they had a chance of getting away then John, I would have been like, Okay, I wouldn't have done that, but I understand there's no they're gonna fall into the lava and die. Do you understand what I'm saying? I'm trying to be obtuse here. There's no happy ever after. It's not John, like, it's not gonna end well, if they would have laid down the hallway and had sex, that would have made more sense to me. Let's just bang until they come to kill us, right? Yeah. Or even if they would had a cupcake, I would have been like, right on one last cupcake together or something. It just and that thing with the marching band that you all were telling me online was awesome. It wasn't that was weird. I agree that was weird. Also, I don't know how many times you've tried to run into a door with a candy machine on the other side of it, but you can't do it for 45 minutes. It's exhausting. Okay? Goddamn sense. John, yeah, you. Ben Stiller, 20 hours, I kept watching it, waiting for something to happen. Nothing happened. Also, there's a lot of obtuse like entertainment that I enjoy, so I'm sure if somebody would hear something else that I liked and been like, yeah, I hated that thing too. So anyway, here's the worst part of it. I didn't hate it, I just didn't like it, yeah? And it felt like I wanted TVs like that. That's like, you're describing my life, friend, yeah, yeah. So you and your daughter, what's the last Disney movie you did? I'll try to calm down. I really hate it.

John 52:06
So we in honor of Star Wars Day. We did Star Wars episode for a new hope. Star Wars being a Disney movie, since they purchased from Lucas Films, yeah,

Scott Benner 52:18
I see, I see the loophole used there, that's awesome. And did she like Star Wars, or was she like, what is this garbage? No,

John 52:25
she does, yeah, she's a Star Wars fan. So as I mentioned, we, we've or we're going to Disney. We went to Disney a couple years ago, and they have that whole Star Wars, uh, Galaxy's edge, yeah, and yeah. So she, she loved it. So I think she's starting, she's, she's 11, right? So she's starting to get to, like, Okay, this is like, I'm too cool for this. But she's still like it. I think maybe it's for me. I don't know. She's still into it as of right now, so we'll see if that wanes as she gets older. Listen, have you heard Arden on the podcast? I've only heard maybe one or two Arden episodes. Every time we do it, she's like, Oh, I hate this.

Scott Benner 53:00
Let's get this over with. And I'm like, you're having a good time. She goes, am I? Like, that sounds like you are, but it is nice to do it together. Like, I agree, by the way, and everybody shouldn't do that. Like, we don't need you all out there with a podcast. Does she care that? I don't want to say nobody's listening to it, but does she care that only 20 people are listening

John 53:19
to it? I don't think so. I don't think Shiva knows. And to be honest with you, 15 of the 20 are probably our family members. So, yeah, you know, but I don't think she cares. I think

Scott Benner 53:29
that's nice though. Like, honestly, none of my family listens to this. Yeah, I actually said to my son the other day, I was like, you know, if I die one day and you listen to the podcast, you might know how I feel about this, but that's funny, but I know you don't, yeah, no, I think that's lovely that you found something to do with her. That's really cool. Yeah, does your other daughter feel left down?

John 53:49
Well, actually, so I should, so she's involved too. She so my older daughter and I, we kind of are like the host, co host. We go through it, and then my younger daughter, she comes in and she has one little segment, so she has her little piece. You let her scream and yell like I just did, yeah, yeah. She has her little piece because she didn't. She was feeling left out. So we had to build in something for her to feel part of the team.

Scott Benner 54:10
Well, you should do one with her and then let your other daughter be the step in one time. Maybe, yeah, maybe John, I'm gonna tell you what, where this leads six months from now, it's the two of them, not you, and the thing's a huge

John 54:20
success. Oh, I bet, yeah, they're gonna force me out somehow.

Scott Benner 54:23
They'll be like, you just do the editing and upload it, buddy. Oh, the worst part, yeah, the worst part, it is terrible, isn't are you actually sitting down and editing it?

John 54:32
We make the episode. They're like, 20 minutes long. So it takes me, you know, an hour. And I don't do it all in one sitting. I do a little bit here and there, but, yeah, I go through and I just take out a lot of the UHS and the ums. And sometimes we'll say something, and then we didn't say it right? So we'll say it again right after the other and so we'll take that

Scott Benner 54:49
out. So dubbing, I don't do that. I just people are like, yeah, no, listen, poor Rob's gotta, like, edit the show. He said to me the other day, he goes, No one listens to this podcast more than me. And. The way you said it. I was like, I don't know if he's complaining or not. I can't tell. Yeah, that's probably true, yeah. But he's like, every once in a while, I'd be like, Yo, you already like, these are getting long again. And I'm like, I'm like, Wait, what are you talking about? He goes, I just did one that was, like, an hour and 45 minutes. And I was like, Oh, wow, yeah, it's funny, because if it was up to me, they'd all be longer. I don't know if anybody wants that, even if there's an appetite for that, but I find that, like, at the hour and a half mark, like, people really chill out in a different way.

John 55:31
Yeah, I think from a listener too. I think that's the kind of the sweet spot. You know, when a podcast is like, hours long, it's just like, it's overkill. But I think that 60 to 90 minutes is, like, perfect. You get some of the banter, you get some of the like, kind of the like, the severance talk, right? You get that kind of stuff. And then you get

Scott Benner 55:48
the main core of the, yeah, yeah. So no, I agree. I really do, like, listen, I grew up on like, one talk radio, so, like, there's no doubt in my mind. Like, I used to get at 6am and like, the radio had, commercials so it wasn't straight through, but I'd put on a radio at my station, at my terrible job at 6am and if Howard Stern went off at 11 o'clock, I was like, Oh, why do you go off so early? You know what I mean? And I and obviously it's not five hours of listening. There's a ton. There was a ton of ads in between it, right? I like hearing people talking in the background. Yeah, I prefer that over I can't I can't believe I'm saying this. Like, I get in the car sometimes I'm like, I gotta listen to some music, and I'll listen for a little bit. And I'm like, I had to listen to somebody talk. I prefer feeling like that. I actually pay for premium YouTube so I can close my phone and the YouTube videos will keep playing. Oh, okay. So I can use them, like video, because I just like people talking in the background. So yeah, it sounds like you like it too.

John 56:48
That's me. The girls make fun of me. Would get in the car because it'll be on something, you know, a podcast or talk radio, and they're like, can we put music on? I'm like, oh, okay, and we change it, yeah,

Scott Benner 56:58
God forsaken. Pink pony club is stuck in my head for three weeks. Oh, yeah, Jesus. I woke up thinking it the other day, and I was like, what is happening? That woman found woman, she's a child, but that person, she found heroin in, like, audio form, because that man, that song sticks to you, yep. Oh, I haven't put one on purpose. I want to be clear that I have never once sat down and thought I'm going to listen to pink pony club right now. But I did get in the car by myself the other day, and I listened to doji by myself for like, 45 minutes, in case you're and right now, John's like, I don't know even know who you're talking about. Then later, Arden got in the car with me, and it was on, and she goes, you listen to the doji by yourself. And I went, maybe so, oh my gosh. So I'm sitting there last night. I get an Instagram like DM from Arden. It's just like a picture of doji at like, the Met Gala. I was like, is she trolling? She's trolling me. She is, yeah. When do your daughters get older and they can treat you poorly? You're gonna lie. I know. I know. Any more kids, are you guys good?

John 58:08
I think we're good. Yeah,

Scott Benner 58:12
it's fine. We're good right here. Yeah, we're good with it too. Any Can I ask a question that you don't have to answer, but any disappointment not having a boy?

John 58:21
No, I don't think so. So, I mean, I think my wife was content with the one. And so I think my pitch to her for the second was, hey, let's try to see if we can get a boy. And we didn't. And so that, yeah, it was, we were good.

Scott Benner 58:34
She blame you for that. Was she like, Good job, buddy.

John 58:38
No, no, she, yeah, we, you know, now looking back, I mean, you know, we can't imagine, you know, our life without either of them, but, but, yeah, that was probably why, you know, we were like, Hey, let's, let's see if we get one, you know, one of each. But, yeah, wasn't in the cards. No,

Scott Benner 58:51
I got one of each. It's not that special. Don't

John 58:53
worry. I actually think, I mean, it's kind of nice having the two girls. I mean, they like similar things. They play well, you know, they're, you know, I feel like it might be, say I had a sister growing up. We were two years apart. So, I mean, I, you know, we were fine, you know, even though, you know, we were into different stuff. But so I think it all works out, but, but I look at them and I think, yeah, hopefully, hopefully they're, they're kind of a grown together, and they'll have somebody for the rest of their life.

Scott Benner 59:19
Your girls are anything like mine, you should stop saving for college right now and just start saving for clothing. So

John 59:26
it's, yeah, we're getting there. Yeah. It's crazy. The 11 year old. So we gave her a choice of throwing, like, a get together for her friends for her birthday, or going shopping. Well, she picked the shopping, and my wife took her, and she was like, we're in trouble. She was like, she likes nice things. She won't let me my wife's like, I'm always like, hey, let's look at the sale rack. And she's like, nope. And it's, yeah, it's, it's crazy. You get

Scott Benner 59:49
back to that school lady and move that paper around a little more. We got stuff to buy. Okay, yeah, it's crazy. Jesus. Now trust me. Arden uh, got such a crazy eye for it. Two that just, I don't know the thing, she just went to the formal, like she needed a dress for it. That's fine, but that's not how it works. Like they ordered three dresses and then tried them all on, and then decided on one and then returned the other two. And I'm like, okay, they're like, we're returning them. But I'm like, I mean, yeah, I guess so. Like, do any of them never get like? It starts making me feel like, does it always get returned? I'm very nervous about this. The whole thing is, it's just nerve wracking. My wife said to me, she goes, she's always in charge of Christmas, and she goes, You're in charge of Christmas here. I think she thinks I don't help her enough. I think if she heard this and it wasn't in my voice, and I said, You're a bit of a control freak and you don't let me help you, that maybe that would resonate with her. But nevertheless, she's hit me this year with, you're in charge of the holidays. And I'm like, fine. And I said, I'll start with Easter. And she's like, fine. It's so like, three days before she comes home with, like, Easter candy and stuff. I was like, Hey. I was like, I thought I was in charge Easter. She goes, you're not doing it. I was like, No. I'm like, I did it already. I have a whole bag of stuff. And I showed her my bag, and she was I didn't know that. I was like, You didn't ask. I was like, Oh, this is what it feels like to be a lady. This is fun. And she's like, Well, you're in charge of Christmas. I was like, oh, yeah, sure, sure. I am. I was like, right. And she goes, Well, what do you to do for him for Christmas? Like, everybody's getting $500 and a nice kiss on the cheek. It's Christmas time. Go get yourself something nice. Leave me alone. And she's like, that's not what Christmas is. I said, Well, you put me in charge of Christmas, and Christmas is going to be money. Like I said, because they're 100 years old these kids, yeah? What am I buying them? Jenga, like, Stop, you know, I mean, she'll but she wasn't, like, what they want nowadays, money, yeah, please, what they want, yeah, money and access. I don't know. I can't get them access. So, ice is such an unfair question because you're so new to this. But like, what are your give me a couple of your long term diabetes related concerns, like, what are the things that are like gnawing at you a little bit that you're worried about?

John 1:02:07
I mean, obviously complications with, you know, the different things that you read about, and we avoided DKA. Luckily, we must have just caught it soon enough, because she was so high that, you know, you hear the stories about getting into DKA at that stage, but, but, yeah, that makes me nervous is long term complications, you know, eyes and limbs and things like that. Knock on wood, she's fairly healthy, so, I mean, like, we don't have to deal with sick times very often, but that scares the crap out of me is when she's sick and we're having a hard time controlling the blood sugar. I think that freaks me out. Yeah, this big stuff. And then there's just days where you just have an off day, and it's just like last night. And we were, we were fighting the low, which, again, better than fighting a high, but, but, we were just shoveling candy and juice, and I think we just didn't calculate dinner, right? But, but, but, yeah. I mean, you know, it's just the the struggle. Yeah, I comment on the on the Facebook group, and I'll usually say, like, Hey, we're six months in. It does not get easier. But like, you learn tips, you learn ways to manage, yeah, that's one of my biggest takeaways. I am 100%

Scott Benner 1:03:14
confident in telling people that diabetes is just diabetes, but you will get better at it, and that makes it feel easier. So having more skills and more experience and not freaking out as much, even the stuff, like, you're very kind to list those things for me when I asked you to. But even the things you're worried about now aren't the things you'll be worried about later. Okay, it all morphs at some point. Like, you know, you're starting where everybody starts, you know, right? Big picture ideas, like, is her life going to be as long as it going to be as healthy? Is she going to have, like, some catastrophic thing happen to her? Like, these are very common, like, early on worries, right?

John 1:03:50
Yeah, I mean, and, you know, I again, I said earlier, I'm a planner, so, like, to me, I'm always trying to, like, plan ahead. And, you know, it's hard because I'm, I'm the type of person like, I think, like, Okay, we're gonna take her to college one day, and I'm going to have to, like, sit down with these roommates and, like, scare the hell out of them and be like, hey. Like, this is, these are some things you need to watch out for. And I imagine her just being like, Dad and rolling her eyes at me, you know, but I think about that stuff too, like bringing home a boyfriend, like, hey, come sit down, son. Let me tell you about type one diabetes. I don't know, and maybe it's just me trying to over prepare. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:04:30
no, you're, um, you're doing the thing, John. You're worried. Worry is a waste of imagination. You're just imagining what's going to go wrong. Yeah, yeah. And most of that probably won't happen that way, right? You know what I mean, like college? I mean, in seven more years, I don't know, will college be a thing and, you know, or will the AI machine just put the thought in your head so you can go do it? I don't know how it's gonna work. You know, are you gonna have to scare roommates? Like to help like, your daughter will be in a different situation then she won't. You to do that, and she probably won't need you to do it. And you know what I mean, like the boyfriend thing, like Arden seeing a boy right now. Like, it's so funny how I talked to her versus how I thought I would talk to her, because instead of telling her, like, you have to make sure that he blah, blah, blah, I asked her, I'm like, I said, how much of your diabetes are you letting him know about, and that comes from me talking to young women on the podcast. Oh, true. Okay, instead of me telling her what she should be doing, I asked her what she's comfortable doing. Is a nice growth moment for me. John, yeah, and people who think I should have liked severance so, like, maybe you should put some of that growth into that. But no, you're wrong. That severance show is garbage. But nevertheless, I just said to her, I was like, what you know, what's your level of like? I said, I'm not going to mention anything to him. It's up to you, but what have you told him so far? What are you comfortable with him, knowing? What have you told him? And then she just shared with me what she's told him so far. So it's not the way I would have imagined it when she was 11. Sure. Okay, yeah, I just said the same exact thing. You said, like, oh, he needs to understand this. And does he know how to use glucagon? And does he, like, you just realize, like, that's not what they're really gonna do, you know,

John 1:06:11
right? Yeah. And that makes sense. I mean, you know, I mentioned a couple times we took her to her birthday party on Sunday and and we, we told her, we go. Just tell one person that you have this glucagon. They're not going to know what to do with it, but just tell them that it's in your bag. And that way, in case they know it's there, they can alert somebody if they have to, like, just, just tell somebody. And she said, Okay, I will. So we've tried to do little things like that, where we're not going in, and we're not saying, Well, look, here's this and here's how you do it. But we're just telling her, like, make somebody aware in situations early, to try to get her to learn, I

Scott Benner 1:06:46
guess. Yeah, that's best practice. Like, it's what I would tell you to do. I just don't know if it happens or not, right, right? And if it has to, because, like, you know my story with Arden, like, she took her bag with her, and we packed all that stuff in it, and it came back and was never opened, and nothing was out of it. But all it was is it smelled like a rotten banana. So, yeah, having said that, I don't know, like, if something would have gone wrong, I would have been like, Thank God it was all there. And we should have told somebody, and like, you know, the other side of it. So, and I did help her a little bit, like, I knew she was going to be super busy that night, so I actually paid a little closer attention to her blood sugar, in case it was, like, going one way or the other. And, you know, like, I could kind of get to her and send her a text. I did end up texting her once in the evening, and then at 5am she got a little low, and I texted her, and she's like, Oh, I fixed that 10 minutes ago, leave me alone. And I was like, Yeah, awesome, great. This has been a fun, fun conversation. Anyway, you'll be okay, yeah, can I tell you something that I hope you find comforting. I believe you have the whole thing licked already. You just don't even know it. Your interest and your desire to be involved is what you really need, and you have that. Not a lot of men come on. You know what? I mean, you're obviously interested in it. You're making a podcast with your daughters. Hey, you're a good guy. I'd go take care of yourself a little bit and keep being yourself, and I think you're going to be good. Yeah, I

John 1:08:16
appreciate that. Yeah. Like I said, it's been a journey, and we have, it's almost like you just learn new ways, you know? I mean, we now how we live, right? It's just a different way of learning. Yeah, new normal. It's

Scott Benner 1:08:27
normal now, and you'll not what you wanted and it's not what you planned for, but it'll be awesome, you know what? I mean, right? Like, just as awesome as the other thing was going to be, right? You know, at least now you, uh, now you're super focused. It's got your it's got your life's got your attention now you're like, whoo, yes, yes, not in the right way. John, I understand. Man, listen, it's been my experience that I wish it was easier. And there are things that my daughter lives with that I wish she didn't live with. But overall it has not, it hasn't changed the big ideas about being alive, if that makes sense,

John 1:09:02
yeah. And that's comforted me here, because that's, that's, that's all you want. I mean, you know, that's all you want for your kids. I feel like,

Scott Benner 1:09:07
yeah. I mean, a lot of things can go wrong. This is one of the things. You know, there's a lot of ways to think about it. You could have got hit by a car that day, or, you know, fallen into a volcano, go watch that stupid show and then, and when it's so frustrating, when it although, I have to say, the freeze frame at the end, I thought, Oh, that'd make a cool t shirt. Yeah, yeah. Other than that, yeah. I was really, really irritated by the whole thing. The entire thing just soup to nuts. Every minute I watched it, I was like, why am I watching this show? Why won't I just stop watching it? Because everybody was telling me it was good. I was like, All right, I'm missing something.

John 1:09:46
That's my wife with, with the White Lotus. I don't know if you've seen that one. Hold

Scott Benner 1:09:52
up a second. John, yeah, that show fcking sucks, too.

John 1:09:57
Every every time she was like, What is the point of this show? She's like. Why what I

Scott Benner 1:10:01
don't nothing is happening. It would end and I'd go, that was another hour where nothing happened. Oh, my God, so God forsaken. Slow and again, masturbatory, self indulgent, and just like nothing is there's no story and there's nothing happening. It's just, it's just painful waste of my time. Oh my god, that show. Mike White, I liked you on survivor that year, but the rest of this has just been horrible. I

John 1:10:37
think that's just a lot of TV. I think that's just a lot of TV nowadays. I guess because, I mean, a lot of shows are like that. I feel like,

Scott Benner 1:10:43
I mean, even there are bad shows that are better than that. Yeah, let me give you an example of a terrible television show. And I mean, really, really bad. And I love it. It's so bad. Hold on. No, I'm embarrassed, because I think this is going to argue against my argument, but I allow myself one TV show that is just ridiculous and terrible, right? My TV show for the last couple of years that falls in that category is something called the rookie with Nathan Fillion, okay, okay. I heard of it. Okay. It is not good. I want to be clear. Okay, there are times that you're watching it. I'm like, Did they let three nine year olds write this? There are times that people end their scenes and I go, like, I yell into the into the house. I go, like, this acting. It's terrible, but I like it. They're like, I don't know. Like, it's agreeable people on screen. This is not what I'm comparing severance to, I want to be clear. Okay, something's got to happen. We got to build to something like, it's not enough that something. Did you watch White Lotus?

John 1:11:50
We did. We watched, we just, we watched the whole we've watched all three seasons.

Scott Benner 1:11:54
Yeah, listen, so for anybody who hasn't heard watch season three, that's planning on it, I'd stop this right now, if I was you, okay, there's a difference between a story arc and watching a kid jerk off his brother during a threesome. Okay? Like one thing is, like, shocking. I didn't learn anything about these people. Do you understand? Like, there's no depth to them. The story did not explain anything. It did not bring me to another place on the planet. It didn't give me a new understanding of people. It just bored me into oblivion. And then all of a sudden, I saw that happen, and I went, I'm like, and people are like, Oh my God, it was so shocking. I'm like, Yeah, you mean a because it's ridiculous, and B, because that wouldn't happen, and C, because it comes out of nowhere, because there's no story arc whatsoever, right? Yeah, the father with the constant like, you know, I want to kill myself. I want to kill myself. I want to kill myself. And then, like a bad TV show, they leave the fruit in the mixer cup. And I'm like, Oh my God. I'm like, who wrote this? A nine year old, yeah, and the guy with the gun and the thing, and it was all fcking stupid. Did you enjoy, John? What did you think of light, Louis,

John 1:13:14
it was not the best television, I don't think that we've seen. So,

Scott Benner 1:13:18
yeah, it's not the best you, god damn right. It wasn't because nothing happened, nothing, even the thing with the like, let me ask you a question. I almost describe somebody by their I'm not good at describing people. But was the woman who son showed up on the island late? Was the guy with the money? Like, you know they mean, like, was he trying to, like, scare her. Was he going to kill her like you don't know, like you don't know any of it, right? And does it make any sense that he gave her all that money if he was going to kill people, why wouldn't he just throw in the water? Right? Right, right? There's no truth in that art. Do you see what I'm saying? Everyone should look at the phrase, there's no truth in this art. It doesn't have to be real. It just has to make sense. Make sense, right? Yeah. And there's no way at the end of severance you'd go back in,

John 1:14:09
yeah. Would you come back to severance? Yeah?

Scott Benner 1:14:11
Why would you go back? John? Explain to me why they would go back in. Go ahead. You like the show. Tell me right now,

John 1:14:16
thinking of it that way, there is no reason to go back in. I hear you.

Scott Benner 1:14:20
Thank you, John, yes. And everything doesn't have to make sense all the time. Listen, I know what. There's a moment in Pulp Fiction where Bruce Willis has a ball gag on, and none of it makes a lot of sense, but it was fun. And you know what? Severance isn't fun. It's not fun. They made sex un fun. They made time traveling un fun. They made everything un fun. Remember the sister's husband, the

John 1:14:45
author, I think he was just there. I don't even know why he was there. Exactly, John, he was there to be funny, I guess. Or I don't know why was

Scott Benner 1:14:53
that working for you? No, he wasn't that funny. Every second he was on screen made me murderous. Mm. Yeah, okay. It was relieved when he left. And then the sister was there, and she was torturous. They made Sandra Bernhardt, not funny, okay. Do you even know she was in it? You're not old. You're not old enough to know who she is, right? She's the nurse that drug around the wife to the different rooms. Oh, okay, okay, okay, right. That woman used to be a comedian. She's had sex with Madonna, okay, but what I think, or they were friends, I don't want to besperge them. I'm not sure. I don't remember the 80s as clearly as I should. But what I'm going to tell you is, is that, God, awful, just terrible, nothing. What were the goats for? Oh, the goats. That was, yeah, again, who knows? And the goat people, I don't even know what they were there, what they Yeah, yeah, right, John, you watched a lot of stuff you don't understand. Yes. And it's not because it's like, mystical, it's because it didn't make any sense, right? I know Ben Stiller lived through cancer and all, but I don't know how much rope I can give him here on this. You know what I mean? Like, I'm happy for him. And all by the way, did he divorce the girl from The Brady Bunch movie? And then they got back together?

John 1:16:05
I think so, yeah, I think they're back together. I think they're making, I think they're making another dodgeball movie. I thought, well,

Scott Benner 1:16:11
that, hey, good. That was a good movie. It was terrible, but it was fun, and it had a story arc. It wasn't a good story arc, but it was a story arc, and I could follow it, and it made sense. They threw wrenches at people. It was a good time. Yeah. What was that other movie you made that was great that nobody could ever make anymore. We're my god. Robert Downey is in black face. Oh, Tropic, Tropic Thunder. Fun movie, yeah, I don't think that one plays anymore, but fun movie. Yeah, he needs to get back to it. You know what? I mean, yeah, I'm very upset, John. Tell me something you do enjoy watching. That was a weekend gage your we

John 1:16:51
really liked

Scott Benner 1:16:52
the pit on HBO. The pit was awesome. Yeah? That was refreshing. Absolutely, a thrill ride of adrenaline. Yeah, yeah, it played out honestly, yeah, yeah, yeah. Little good, little bad, little high, little low, very human. All made sense. A fcking goat didn't wander through it for no reason. When people were shooting, they didn't go to where the people were shooting, they left where the people were shooting. That all makes sense, doesn't it, right? Yeah, he was on the other side of the door. He's been looking for this lady for years. He saved her. She was attractive. She wanted him to come. The other woman was saying, I'm a bad person. We have no life together. And he went, Yeah, I'll go with you for the nine more seconds that we'll get to be alive together. God damn it, John, it didn't make any good sense. Oh, my God. And you're all out there. I see you in the group telling me it's a good show. It's not, don't stop listening to the podcast just because I don't like severance, by the way, no, of course not. I'm talking to everybody. John, that's you. I got a thing. I got more than 20 people listening. I got to keep everything going. You know

John 1:18:02
what? I mean, yeah, you've got me already, so you can't lose me. Thank you, John.

Scott Benner 1:18:05
Appreciate it very much. Is it too late to pivot back to something serious? No, of course, of course. One thing I skipped over, I know your last name. How much of your weight is cultural? Do you think I

John 1:18:17
know? You know and I'm Hispanic, and Hispanic culture, I mean, we do tend to be heavier, but, I mean, my parents are both, I would say average. My dad actually is in pretty good shape. My grandparents were. We're all not like arbidly obese. So I don't know, not, not a lot. I don't think, I mean, who knows what's past them, but, but, you know,

Scott Benner 1:18:38
Let me stretch the question out then, like, is your situation lifestyle, or do you think it's wiring, or do you think it's both? Or what do you like you listen to me talk about like, how I ate before, but it wasn't terrible. It wasn't great, but it wasn't terrible. It certainly didn't warrant that much extra weight on me, the medication. What do you think? Where do you think you fit into that cat, into that puzzle.

John 1:19:01
I think it's both. I you know, now, I think everybody goes through this when they're young, like, you know, when I was 20. I mean, you know, yeah, of course. You know, pizza, Taco Bell, you know, take out. I mean, that was the norm. But back then, I mean, you could do whatever you want, and it wouldn't do anything to you. But maybe since we've had the kids, or since I've been married, we've been married for 15 years. I mean, we'll splurge and we'll have moments where we go out and, you know, have something that maybe we shouldn't or I would say, for the most part, we eat pretty healthy, and we try to do just stay as low as carb as possible. Obviously, not. We're not keto or low carb, but we try to, you know, do it as much as we can. So I think it's a little bit of both. I do like to eat like I like to snack. Now, we don't have the, you know, much snacks in the house, you know. So, I mean, the stuff I get is not, I wouldn't classify it as junk food, you know, I am a snacker. But no, I mean, other than that. I mean, I take, I was telling my wife the other day, we were in the car, and I was driving to her, and I was like, you know, I have eggs. For breakfast, I have a salad for lunch. For dinner, we make something, you know, sensible, a meat, you know, a protein, a vegetable and maybe a starch. I was like, we're not getting McDonald's every day. You know, it's, yeah, it's, that's part of what makes it frustrating

Scott Benner 1:20:14
as well. Well, I think that Jenny and I are recording a nutrition series right now. It's not out yet, but we're recording it. I mean, there is a lot of bad processed foods. There's a lot of sugar and stuff that you don't realize, like, that kind of stuff, but I hear what you're saying, like, of what's available to you. You're not running into the like, the fast food direction, like that kind of thing and it and you are trying, and nothing happens. And then you use that medication for six months and lost 40 pounds, right? That's a significant amount of your body weight. Yes, you know, like, so I think there's something else at play first, you know, listen, I don't again. I'm not a not a doctor. Barely got through high school, like, but like, I can tell you that I started on, we go V, and four days later, I'd lost 10 pounds. Does that make any sense to anybody? No, not at all. But it didn't make any sense to me. And I was like, this is weird. And I told the doctor, doctors like that shouldn't even be working yet. I'm like, I don't know what to tell you. I injected it and I woke up four days later, like, more than temp, like around 10 pounds. I don't remember. It's two years ago now. I lost a lot of freaking weight. It also doesn't make sense that if I missed the medication for, you know, a 24 hour gap that I put two pounds back on, unless it's doing something for me that my body should be doing, that it's not doing, right? You know what I mean, like, so, I don't know, man, like, listen, I think take that planning part of you and plan on how to get to the bathroom while you have diarrhea. Okay? Because, yeah, I think I might have to just do that, yeah, because 100 pounds from now, right? You're gonna be like, okay, like, Listen, if your pancreas explodes, then obviously, no, but 100 pounds from now, I think you're gonna look back and go, it was worth it, right? That's how I felt like we went away on a little break to take Arden from one school to another, and it was in the middle of me not feeling well, like while I was doing this, and there were adjustments. Like, we went out to a lunch one day, and I got done lunch, and I looked at Kelly, and I said, I know you guys are going to go walk around. I'm going immediately back to the hotel, because, like, something horrible is about to happen. And I felt fine, but I just knew it was coming. And so, like, I just planned around it for a while, and eventually it stopped. So I can give you some ideas about how to help it stop if it keeps going. But, you know, reach out to me if you if you get back in that position again. Absolutely, John, you were awesome. I appreciate you listening to me talk of badly about a TV show that you enjoyed. I'm sorry about that. The Rookie is garbage. I know that. I'm not saying otherwise, but there is something lovable about Nathan Fillion. And if you don't see it, I don't know what your problem is. Okay, it's Canadian. Just check it out. He's darling. Oh, John, listen, it's terrible. It's over acted. It's over baked. It's big for no reason. In places it doesn't make sense, you know, they wrap the whole thing up in six minutes. You know, it's like, there's a serial killer. 75 people are dying on a spaceship, and then, like, five minutes. So you're like, we fixed it. It's over because it's not good, as I'm watching it, it's not good. It ends. My wife hates it, but we watch it together. This is how she makes fun of me for the stuff I make fun of her for, and it ends, and she'll go, that wasn't a particularly good episode. And I went, No, and that's really saying something, because the best episodes, at best are the A team. You know what? I mean. You're too young for the 18 Hold on one second.

For me, the podcast episode that you just enjoyed was sponsored by ever since CGM. They make the ever since 365 that thing lasts a whole year. One insertion every year. Come on. You probably feel like I'm messing with you, but I'm not. Ever since cgm.com/juicebox

a huge thanks to my longest sponsor, Omnipod. Check out the Omnipod five now with my link, omnipod.com/juicebox you may be eligible for a free starter kit, a free Omnipod five starter kit at my link, go check it out. Omnipod.com/juicebox Terms and Conditions apply. Full terms and conditions can be found at omnipod.com/juicebox you Juicebox, touched by type one sponsored this episode of The Juicebox Podcast. Check them out at touched by type one.org on Instagram and Facebook. Give them a follow. Go check out what they're doing. They are helping people with type one diabetes in ways you just can't imagine. You. Great. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. If you're not already subscribed or following the podcast in your favorite audio app, like Spotify or Apple podcasts, please do that now. Seriously, just to hit follow or subscribe will really help the show. If you go a little further in Apple podcasts and set it up so that it downloads all new episodes. I'll be your best friend, and if you leave a five star review, ooh, I'll probably send you a Christmas card. Would you like a Christmas card? The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way, recording, wrong way, recording.com, you.

Please support the sponsors

---

The Juicebox Podcast is a free show, but if you'd like to support the podcast directly, you can make a gift here. Recent donations were used to pay for podcast hosting fees. Thank you to all who have sent 5, 10 and 20 dollars!

Donate