#587 Carb Counting Mess

December 1, 2021Scott Benner

Laura lives in Switzerland and she has type 1 diabetes.

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Scott Benner 0:00
You're listening to Episode 587 of the Juicebox Podcast. Welcome Friends

Today we're gonna be speaking with Laura. She's from Switzerland, is in her 20s and has type one diabetes. You can find her on Instagram at carb counting mess. Today while you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan, or becoming bold with insulin. I'd like to remind you that if you're from United States, and you have type one diabetes, or you're from the United States, and you're the caregiver of someone with type one, you can complete the T one D exchange survey in less than 10 minutes right from your sofa. right on your phone. T one D exchange.org. Forward slash juicebox. It's pretty much what I got here, but there's a lot of music left. Oh, you know what, check out the Facebook page Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes, actually, that's on the Instagram to even put something up on Tik Tok. But the contents not quite ready yet, but you could still follow me to get a head start Juicebox Podcast this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by TrialNet. Find out if you or a loved one have the genetic markers for type one diabetes for free at trial net.org. Forward slash Juicebox Podcast is also sponsored by the Contour Next One blood glucose meter, my favorite blood glucose meter, the one that I found to be the easiest to hold, to use to love to hold to caress to sing to it night contour next one.com forward slash juicebox. For clarity and honesty, I've never sung to a blood glucose meter. It just sounded sweet in the moment. And I guess if I'm coming clean, I've never crossed or one or held it lovingly either. But it's still a great meter contour next.com forward slash juice box.

Laura 2:16
My name is Laura. I'm 25 years old. I've had type one diabetes since 2007. And I live in Switzerland.

Scott Benner 2:25
Right off the bat. I'm very I'm aware of you from Instagram. Right? So that's how I know you. And I've never heard your voice before. And even though I recognize that you don't live in America, when you started speaking I got all excited.

Laura 2:43
Why? I was like, oh, Laura

Scott Benner 2:45
has like a an accent that I vaguely think might be not French but close to France ish. And then that was the best I could do. I said this Yeah, it's fun for me.

Laura 2:57
People actually have a hard time locating my accent. Because I'm, I feel like I'm all all over the place. I I watch a lot of American TV shows, and movies. But yeah, in the end, you can tell that I'm not native.

Scott Benner 3:16
Well, and so are you born and raised there.

Laura 3:21
I was actually born in Italy. But I moved to Switzerland when I was nine months old. So I basically grew up in Switzerland. But my parents are Italian. So I speak Italian at home. I actually grew up bilingual, so I speak Italian, German. And then in school we learn English, obviously and French and Spanish.

Scott Benner 3:47
Wow. So the English that you possess now, which is great by the way you got from school and from television. Yeah. Wow. That's impressive. I think if I watched Italian television, night and day, you'd be surprised that I would not learn one word.

Laura 4:05
Well, English is is quite easy to learn, honestly.

Scott Benner 4:08
Is that a dig? Or is that a good thing? What are you saying?

Laura 4:11
No, it's a good thing. I mean,

Scott Benner 4:15
your trashy little language is so easy to pick up for a mind like mine. So you grew up in Switzerland with Italian speaking parents? Yes. And what's the language? Is there a is there a national language in Switzerland? Is it English or is it French?

Laura 4:32
So actually, Switzerland has four national languages. So German, obviously, French, there's an Italian speaking part. And there's one which I guess it's best described as a mix between Italian and like German. And then there's like Swiss German, which is only spoken language. It's not very And it doesn't have any grammar. But it's the spoken language. So, and every region has their own accent. And sometimes they're so different that you, you can really understand someone from another region, which is very funny.

Scott Benner 5:19
But that's fascinating. But may I offer a critique? You can't say we have four national languages. That's like saying, If I said you, what's your favorite ice cream flavor? You can't say, well, here are my four favorite ice cream flavors that doesn't work that way. Well, Laura, you're gonna need to make a big sign, but I'm gonna stick and get outside and start protesting right now. It's gonna say pick a language. We'll do that after you get out there and get to work. Like you have nothing better to do. How old were you and you're diagnosed? I was 11 1114 years ago. Ish. Yeah. Is everyone impressed with me? subtracting one from five.

Laura 6:02
I'm very impressed. I was waiting for your joke.

Scott Benner 6:05
It's not a joke. I wish it was when I said 14. And you said yes. There's like a little band inside of my head that goes You did it.

Laura 6:14
I mean, technically, it's 13 and a half. But you know,

Scott Benner 6:17
but I like you going along with it. You listen to the podcast, you know not to disagree. That's obviously, obviously obviously. Oh, this is great. Are you a very sarcastic person?

Laura 6:28
Um, yeah, yeah. I'm with people. I know. Well, I tend to be very open and funny and step sarcastic. But I'm mostly a very shy person. Not very outgoing. Typically, with people I don't really know that.

Scott Benner 6:46
Yeah. How do you get to know people then?

Laura 6:51
Through my boyfriend, he was much more outgoing. Now I just, I just like to smile and people people respond to me smiling. So I guess so

Scott Benner 7:06
your boys breaker your boyfriend? Is the the trap basically. Yeah, he's the I think what they call the honeypot in some circles, right? And then, so he brings them in. And then you retain the ones that react to your smile.

Laura 7:25
Well, I mostly I smile. This is gonna sound weird. I smile at strangers sometimes. Just because I'm a, I don't know, a kind person. And I don't like to look grumpy. Okay. So, yeah, those are two main ways to, you know,

Scott Benner 7:47
learn, I do the same thing, but for a completely different reason. So I smile at everyone. I'll say hello to anyone who comes within like six feet of me if we're walking face to face together. But I just do it to see how they react like it to me. It's just a social experiment. Like I like it too. I should be clear. I'm not just effing with people, like I really do. I really am interested. I'm, I'm, I think I'm a pleasant person. And I do like to say hello. And I don't think people making eye contact and smile and things like that hold doors, that kind of thing. So I am very active when I'm in public like that. But I guess the secondary interest is to see how many people are. I think they're mostly shocked. I don't think they're put off. And I think that sometimes even when they're shocked, they'll rebound and you'll be past each other and they'll turn and go Oh, hello. Like it just they're not expecting it. But that might be an American, or even colloquial to my, my, where I live geographically, perhaps I'm not sure. But it so are you introverted?

Laura 8:53
Um, yeah, I guess you could say that. This interactive spend time alone. It's just it's not that I don't like other people. I just need to recharge my social batteries. So I've actually been enjoying COVID

Scott Benner 9:11
Because you're one of the people that's like, Wait, stay inside and don't go out. Oh, thank God finally.

Laura 9:18
Yeah, totally. I've been. Yeah, I've been loving spending so much time at home and just doing my own stuff, organizing, you know, stuff like that.

Scott Benner 9:29
So when you smile at somebody, is there not a concern that they'll engage you and then you'll have to spend some of your social capital on that.

Laura 9:38
I'm not that much because Swiss people aren't as friendly as American people. So most of the time, it's just a smile. People don't really smell black back. So it's just, you know, just being kind and whatever. But, so these people are very reserved and Not that talkative. So it's not a big problem.

Scott Benner 10:04
You think they're all pissed off? Because they know the rest of the world confuses Switzerland and Sweden.

Laura 10:09
Oh, my God. Yes. Please, please, to everyone stop confusing Switzerland and three, it's enough to say,

Scott Benner 10:16
well, in fairness, they both begin SW, and they're both in that version of the world over there ish. So for people who don't understand geography, or you know, spelling, it's the same place. I know, it is for me.

Laura 10:33
I mean, you know, it's funny, though, because I feel like Europeans know, so much more about the US than Americans know about Europe. So like, we watched the presidential election on CNN, we're very engaged. We knew, like, all the counties, and, you know, the blue counties in red counties. I could, you know, I know the names. But then American people confuse Switzerland and Sweden. I'm like, those are two different countries, people.

Scott Benner 11:07
We don't care. You should try being American. It's kind of fast. It's fantastic. Sometimes, my wife works with people daily from France, and Switzerland, Germany. And so I hear it more frequently. So I stopped myself before I make the Switzerland, Sweden mistake, but I have to, like, I have to, like set it in my mind correctly. Like even when you said Switzerland at the beginning, I was like, No, don't mess this up and say she's from Sweden at some point. So I had to, like put the thought into my head. I'm sorry. I'm very fascinated by you. So. But But okay, so you were diagnosed? Oh, God, I'm 11 years old. Is that what you said?

Laura 11:48
Yes. On 911 actually get out of here.

Scott Benner 11:51
Seriously. While the whole world was going through a tragedy, you had your own personal tragedy?

Laura 11:56
Oh, 911. Like 2000 700. Okay.

Scott Benner 12:02
All right. I guess my math could have been better when I should have said to myself, that was 21 years ago. And she said 11. And you were almost weren't even born? 20 When you were like four, right? Yeah. So now now we can see that between the math and the Switzerland, Sweden thing. You've thrown me off kilter. You all now know why I didn't take the LSAT ever is like how am I going to keep all that in my head at one time? Okay, so you're diagnosed in Switzerland? What's the protocol? How does it work? What do you remember?

Laura 12:36
Um, so I remember going to school in the morning, and then over lunch, we actually go home and eat lunch at home. And then instead of going back to school, in the afternoon, my mom picked me up and she said, oh, we need to go to the doctor to check something out. And at that point, I had been drinking tons and tons of water. I had been losing weight. I was pale, you know, to classical science. And I actually, I was 11. But I was so I started panicking when I didn't have a water bottle or access to tap water. Because I was so thirsty the entire time. And I would actually cry if I had to go to go out without a bottle. So my mom was like, This is not normal. And she went to Google, if I remember correctly, and typed in the symptoms, and it actually said type one diabetes. And so we went to our period to my pediatrician, and I, I think I had a urine test. And they checked for glucose. And obviously, there was lots of glucose. So they were like, Oh, you need to go to the ER immediately. So we went, I think to the Children's Hospital. Yeah, I think Children's Hospital. And I don't remember too much. Actually. I just remember my mom crying at some point. And going outside and actually getting myself my first my very first insulin shot. And I was diagnosed with a blood sugar of 33 million more, which is 600.

Scott Benner 14:37
Yeah, I have a couple of questions. So my first one is pretty basic. You go home every day for school for lunch from school for lunch. How far is school from home?

Laura 14:50
Um, it's about the 10 minute bus ride.

Scott Benner 14:53
So every day they pick you up, take you to school, then put you back on a bus take you home then come back and get you take you to school, then put you back on a bus and take you home.

Laura 15:05
No, actually. So Swiss children are very independent. So by the time they're in first grade, they actually go to school. Like alone. The parents, like don't bring them they don't pick them up. They go on the bus and get home alone.

Scott Benner 15:25
Yeah, I'm saying but the bus takes you the bus picks you up in the morning takes you to school, then it brings you home for lunch. Then it has to pick you back up again and take you back to school after lunch. Am I right?

Laura 15:36
Or no? Yeah, but it's on a school bus. We don't have school buses. What is it's just, it's just a normal bus. Like a like public transport.

Scott Benner 15:45
Oh, the boss. Not a bus. Not not like a bus that belongs to the school. Just the bus that runs around town.

Laura 15:52
No, no, no, no, just a bus.

Scott Benner 15:55
Gotcha. Okay. So I'm sorry. I know where to going down the wrong track here, but I can't help it. So do people trickle back in after lunch? Are people back on time?

Laura 16:06
Oh, we're sweet. They are back on time. I guess that's

Scott Benner 16:09
how the watches work. Right. So well. Yeah. Okay. So everybody's back on time. And then what's the gap of time that you're gone from the time it's like, Okay, I'm gonna go home now till I'm back. How long is that?

Laura 16:22
Um, so we I'd say, one and a half hours, maybe?

Scott Benner 16:29
Wow, that's sweet. can I describe to you my lunch at school, just very quickly, a bell rings in your ear. It's atrocious. You grab your books, sprint through a hallway that if I'm looking back now was honestly just one of those cattle shoots. They used to lead steer to slaughter, right. And then they just move you through quickly. You're banging into people. People are going the other way. You're dumped out into this horrible room where they give you a piece of bread soaked in Ragu sauce with four pieces of fake cheese on the top and they call it pizza. You have 20 minutes to eat it. Put your tray back and run to your next class. How does that sound to you? Awful. Yeah. And in those 20 minutes, you talk a lot about other people. So you know like you point over to other tables, make fun of kids. I was probably being made fun of by the table across from me. Just like chatting. People get into fistfights. None of that happened for you, huh?

Laura 17:32
No, luckily, that didn't happen. But when I went to high school I had to eat at the school. So

Scott Benner 17:39
like a common person. What is this? What did you still get 90 minutes for your nosh or

Laura 17:45
No, no, I wish. It was just like one period. I thought

Scott Benner 17:49
you were gonna tell me they came in and they would hold warm towels to your neck and forehead and free fresh. Always. So I'm sorry. So you're diagnosed in the hospital? You learned to give yourself a shot. You leave with needles in a meter? What did they set you up with? Do you remember?

Laura 18:07
So I was at the hospital for nine days. And I left with pens and just the meter. Okay. And I actually stayed on pens and the meter until I was probably like 1819. And then I switched to the adult Endo. And he actually put me on Dexcom.

Scott Benner 18:31
Okay, what did you I'm sorry, I'm gonna ask one more question before I move forward. You talked about, like panicking without water before you were diagnosed? Was that a a physical understanding that you'd be in some sort of distress or pain and that you wanted to have it to stop that? Or was it a psychological almost kind of god rolled desire? Do you remember?

Laura 18:59
I actually don't remember at all. Like, I don't even remember. I don't I don't remember being aware of my thirst. I don't remember losing weight. I like I was just living my life. And just

Scott Benner 19:15
dying. You know, same time. I'm dying. I just, you know, I asked though, right? Because you're the first person to describe it that way. And I thought, oh, maybe she's got a remembrance of it. Meanwhile, I don't expect anybody's going to. I just, I mean, I assume this is just your body in survival mode telling you, you know, in not not in words, but telling you hey, if we get away from this water, we're in trouble. But it's just it was just kind of fascinating. So okay, so I'm sorry. So when you got to an adult endocrinologist, they gave you a Dexcom what were your outcomes like as a child and what were they like after you could see your data?

Laura 19:56
So that's so that's the interesting part. So while I was at the children's hospital there like that specific Children's Hospital is famous for being not up to date, and like, even now. So that's great.

Scott Benner 20:18
Yeah, it doesn't do a great job and everyone knows it.

Laura 20:23
Right? No, but so during puberty, I was I was actually doing quite well. My agencies were like in high sixes, low sevens, mostly high sixes. But obviously, my blood sugar was a whole other story. So I was, you know, giving insulin after I ate my blood sugar would would shoot up to 400 and then come back down. But still, I was one of the kids that was doing so well. And my, my endo at the Children's Hospital kept telling me oh, you're doing so well, you're doing so well. I wish everyone was like you. So they even gave me a one point when Tresiba came to Switzerland. I was one of the first kids to try out to see that. Because the end was like, your control is so good that we can, like we can see the effect of Joseba on your blood sugar's. So we want you to try it. And so I thought I was doing quite well, when, in fact, I wasn't. And my parents kind of knew what something was up. But they Yeah, it was a very difficult situation, because so to get back to get back to, like, Swiss children are very independent. That something that, you know, gets pushed very hard. Like, children need to be able to look out for themselves from a very young age. And so when I was diagnosed, and at the hospital, they were like, You need to take care of this. You as an 11 year old, you are in charge of our charge of everything, and your parents, you know, they don't have to do anything. Yeah. And, you know, the doctor told me this, and I was like, okay, that's, that's my job. Now, I need to get this under control. But obviously, as an 11 year old, I had no idea I had no tools, no education, to get even close to managing this disease. And so the end, though, was actually pushing away my parents, and my parents wanted to help me, but I was pushing them away. Because the end told me it was my job to manage this disease, so I didn't want their help. And it put us in this very strange triangle. And it caused so much stress and fighting with my parents. And just

Scott Benner 23:29
tell me, tell me why fighting because you needed their help. And you could feel they wanted to give it to you, but they were stopping themselves.

Laura 23:40
I knew, I kind of knew I needed their help. But I didn't want to accept it. Because I, I felt like a failure. If I had accepted their help. It meant that I had failed because I wasn't able to manage this disease by myself. And also, because the doctor kept telling me, you know that like, they told my parents, she needs to come. Like, also, every three months, you go to the Endo. And from the very start, I like I went on my own. My parents weren't even in the room. So

Scott Benner 24:21
you take a bus. What did they draft your parents drive you?

Laura 24:27
I don't remember. I think that drove me. And then they waited outside. But I'm not sure. Actually.

Scott Benner 24:35
That's fascinating. But no, but that really is interesting. I mean, going back to how you and this is from the beginning, from from the very beginning at your youngest a very start. Well, I guess you also described a society where first and second graders were expected to jump on buses and make it to school on their own. Right. Right. So that's the idea. What what is that? Is that the? Is that the German influence on Switzer. What do you think that is?

Laura 25:01
Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Because my parents are Italian. So they've got, you know, they've still got some Italian mentality left in them,

Scott Benner 25:13
you take off the afternoons, what do they do? No, no, no, no

Laura 25:17
budget, they're very protective. So for them, it was extra hard to see their child struggle and not being able to do anything. And they, they actually got quite angry at my Endo, because because he was pushing them away. And I was clearly, you know, I was doing okay, but I could have done so much better. And, and it just created a huge, you know, resent feeling of resentment. And, to this day, I, I actually can't really talk to them about diabetes. I, yeah, it's just, it's, it's strange, I

Scott Benner 26:03
am interested if this thing that your doctor was doing, if it had any benefit, or if it was all kind of negative. So obviously, first of all, he created a barrier between you and your parents and diabetes. But did it turn you into some like, amazing practitioner of diabetes? Where you just like, Oh, I've got my Dexcom now, am I a one sees 4.9? And I'm amazing at this, because I'm so accustomed to doing it by myself, or did that not happen either. Like, I'm trying to decide if this is just a bad idea, from the doctor's point of view?

Laura 26:36
It was just a bad idea, honestly, seems like it to me,

Scott Benner 26:39
I'm just wondering what you thought I could,

Laura 26:41
yeah, I I hear you talking about, you know, parents supporting their child, and when to you know, give the child more responsibilities and stuff around diabetes management, and and so many people say, Oh, if If only my parents had supported me, or, you know, helped me out. And I'm in the same boat. If I could go back out, I would, you know, I would choose. I would actually, you know, want my parents to support me and, and get to know the disease, because, honestly, I don't think they even know how to check my blood sugar with a meter. Because they've never had to do that. They have never given me an insulin shot. They never had to use glucagon. They know how to carb to count carbs. Because they, they did do that for me. But they never got up at night to check my blood sugar. It's just everything was on me. And it's a lot for a teenage girl to to carry this burden. And just course, yeah, I just felt like a failure the entire time. Sorry.

Scott Benner 28:04
Yeah, I don't. I mean, listen, the part of it that makes it so crazy, in my opinion, is, is that the story you're telling should fit more of a 20 year ago? Diagnosis, not an 11 year ago diagnosis. But maybe that's just the difference between the US and where you are? I don't know. But like, it's interesting, because I have to remind myself while you're talking, you're 25, you've only had diabetes for like, a decade. Because seriously, I know I'm repeating myself, your story sounds older than that, like delta have to do it themselves. And here it is. And by the way to praising you, for an A one, see, without any consideration for how you got to it. They didn't care. They didn't care that you were 400. I'm assuming if you were 400. That means you were also 50 Some of the times two.

Laura 28:54
Yeah. And the thing is, they didn't know that because I they didn't check my meter, they checked my diary. So like, the night before my end appointment, I would just write some random numbers in my diary. And that would be it. So I dried like 120 Maybe 200. You know, like the not perfect numbers, but okay, numbers and, and they just bought that they never checked a meter.

Scott Benner 29:31
You just feel you're like what gets me through this conversation. I'll put in numbers that aren't perfect, but don't look too bad that they won't dig any deeper. And you had to do that when you were a kid too. You were kind of manipulating your way through those appointments.

Laura 29:44
Yeah, yeah. Because I just I hadn't grasped what it meant. Like I view high blood sugars were bad. I knew I was supposed to give insulin before I ate. But I didn't and I knew you know, the The end of had scared me to, you know, compliance by telling me stories about, I don't know, 28 years old year olds who are blind because they never took care of themselves. We all know the stories. But I just hadn't. It just hadn't clicked, you know.

Scott Benner 30:19
So with your parents sitting out in the car, you're at that age being told by a doctor, you have to do this right? Or you're going to go blind, like the person in this example. Yeah, that that could not have. Were you introverted before diabetes?

Laura 30:39
I was. Yeah. Okay.

Scott Benner 30:40
I just wanted to make sure they didn't break you. Doctor, Doctor just wasn't like, I'm gonna really screw this kid up, watch this.

Laura 30:49
became really close, but they didn't.

Scott Benner 30:51
Well. So that's interesting, because your moniker on Instagram is carb counting mess. Do you feel like a mess?

I think you should care about the quality of your blood glucose meter. Right? That sounds like common sense. But nobody really thinks about it that hard. Mostly, we just get the meter that a doctor gives us and we go about our business. We never even wonder, are there others? Are they better? Should I look? Well, there are and you should. And I would start looking at contour next one.com forward slash juicebox. And specifically, I would train my eye on the Contour Next One blood glucose meter. It is easy to use, easy to handle easy to see has a bright light, Second Chance test strips. And I love it. Just I have my hand up in the air I'm swearing to something it is my favorite blood glucose meter that I've ever used. Contour next one.com forward slash juicebox. Here's some things about it, you might not know you may be eligible for a free meter. The meter may cost less in cash than you're paying for your current meter through your insurance. All of these things are possibilities that you can learn more about at Contour Next One comm forward slash juicebox. But let me just finish with this. Really focus on your needs. Bright nighttime light, easy to read screen. Second Chance test strips. That means if you should touch the blood drop with you with the strip. And it's not enough, you can go back and get more without ruining the integrity of the test. We're wasting the strip. These are the things that will impact your days and nights. And it's super easy to carry your pocket your bag wherever you put your type one gear. Now we're going to move on to a type one diabetes risk screener called trial net. And it's completely free. For those who are eligible who are who's eligible, you qualify if you are between the ages of two and a half and 45 and have a parent, brother, sister or child with type one, where you're between the ages of two and a half and 20 and have an aunt uncle, cousin, grandparent niece nephew, or half brother or sister with type one. Or if you've tested positive for auto antibodies outside of trial net. Okay, now you know what trial net does and you know who's eligible, the rest is easy. Go to trial net.org forward slash juice box, answer a couple of quick questions to make sure you fall into those categories. Then you can choose how you're going to test where you get an in home test kit, a lab test kit, or go to a trial on that site. It's completely up to you. After you get your kit and send back your sample in four to six weeks. You'll know do you have early stages of type one diabetes? If you do try on that we'll schedule a follow up visit to see if you're eligible for a prevention study. That's it, trial net.org forward slash juicebox when they ask you how you found out about trial net, say the Juicebox Podcast if you can't remember all of that there are links in the show notes of your podcast player links at Juicebox Podcast comm or you can just type in trial net.org forward slash juicebox. And since it was a couple of minutes ago, let me remind you of this. Get yourself a Contour Next One blood glucose meter at contour next one.com forward slash juicebox now let's get back to our

Laura 34:34
that's a good question. I do still feel like I feel like a mess. But definitely less than the time at the time when I started my Instagram account. So I have I have turned around my diabetes management completely and honestly it's It's all thanks to your podcast. I couldn't have done it without you But you know, I'm nobody's perfect. I still have my days where I mess up or I feel lazy. I don't count carbs correctly. I don't actually count them. I just wing it.

Scott Benner 35:15
Yeah, counting carbs. That's, that's lame. That's, that's for that's for beginners. If you're still counting carbs, just know, you won't have to forever, eventually you'll be able to just be like, boom, that's 53. Let's do this. And just roll up on it and be done. Oh, yeah, that's great. Okay, listen to the podcast, right? Because then that stuff kind of becomes more and more obvious how to do things like that. I have to tell you that, that a lot of cheese. I want to say something larger. But I don't want people to take Oh, I give up. I don't care if anybody thinks things the wrong way. A lot of people say what you just said to me, and it doesn't lose its impact on me. No matter how often I hear it that you know, something about the podcast was, like valuable for them. But somehow because of your accent, it meant more to me. Oh, I had a woman from Canada tell me the same thing yesterday, but she had kind of like a rough and tumble Canadian accent it didn't hit me as close to my heart as yours did. Which is ridiculous.

Laura 36:22
It's okay. Yeah. Your Podcast means a lot to me. So, no,

Scott Benner 36:27
I'm glad I very much am. I'm very happy to know that says I appreciate you telling me. What made you start on Instagram? Like you found me after you started your Instagram account? Is that right?

Laura 36:39
Yes. Okay. i Yeah. Because I started my Instagram account in. Hmm. And actually remember,

Scott Benner 36:48
doesn't matter. My point is, is when you jump on, what are you doing it for? Are you like, maybe I'll find somebody to commiserate with maybe I'll find somebody who knows about this better than I do. Like, what is it you're looking for when you make it public? Because you? I mean, I guess this shouldn't be a surprise to me. Because I know a lot of introverted people who, you know, personally, aren't looking for a ton of interaction with people can be very expressive online, and it doesn't seem to drain them the same way. Am I right about that? Okay, so maybe is that just part of it too? Are you looking to talk to people, but the idea of doing it in person just seemed not like a good idea?

Laura 37:28
Um, yeah, yeah, absolutely. I think I started it because, like, for the longest time, I really think I really thought I was the only one like, I know everyone, everyone says that. But, you know, I don't get why. Because I knew there were camps for children with type one. I never never wanted to attend one of those camps. And I was like, oh, no, I like if I I just wanted to ignore diabetes, honestly. For the longest time, and then my, when, like, towards, like the end of my teenage years, I was struggling really, really bad. And my boyfriend actually, he found the beyond type one app. And he showed me the app. And I was like, Oh my God, there's other people. There's other type ones. And so I joined the app. And I, I somehow discovered some type one blogs. And so I started reading the blogs and like, Oh, my God, they have the exact same experiences I do. I was just, I was mind blown. And then, somehow, probably someone on the beyond type one app mentioned, like the community on Instagram. And I already had a private Instagram account. So I started following some people, and then was like, Screw it, I need to do my own account. So I can interact with people because I didn't want to, like get one wanted to keep my private accounts separate from my diabetes account. And so I was just looking for relatable content. I was looking for people who could you know, who understood me and the experiences I had had. So that was my initial thought when I joined the Instagram, diabetes insert, sorry, diabetes online community. But then I discovered, you know, I saw other people's graphs and how other people were handling their pipeline. And actually, I remember seeing Like someone who someone's grass who was, you know, like in the mid to hundreds and like 300 Maybe like 150. You know, like, other people have these kinds of kinds of blood sugars. I'm fine. I was, you know, I was looking for some sort of some sort of guide. Yeah. And, and so I was like, that's fine, I'm doing fine. But then I started seeing people with 100 blood sugar, and like straight CGM like lines. And I was intrigued. And I was like, No, it's that's possible. Why Why am I not doing that? Why are my blood sugar is so much higher. And so I started working really hard, trying to improve my control. And it was still on pence at that time. And it just wasn't working for me. I feel like my, my Basal wasn't tried. I tried splitting doses. But that wasn't working. So I ended up going on the Omnipod. And, yeah, so I was I kept improving my agency. I had actually, I had a very acute hypo fear at that point. And because of that, my agency Shut up to 9.3 from like the high sixes. And so I got from 9.3 to 7.2. And at that point, I discovered your podcast. And, you know, over the past two years, maybe I've been able to go from a 7.2 to a 5.5.

Scott Benner 41:58
Wow, congratulations. That's wonderful. Thank you. Yeah. And you made a point a moment ago, very eloquently, that I've maintained for a very long time. And just simply put, there was a time where if you shared a good graph online, people would come at you and tell the they would tell you, you're making them feel badly. And I just always thought, that doesn't make sense to me. Because if I, if someone shares a graph, like you described 201 5300, all over the place, then someone else sees that and thinks, oh, well, this is normal. So I'm okay. But if you put out a graph that's more stable at a lower number, then people should be able to look at that and think, Well, that's possible, like that person's doing it, like, why would it be different for me, and without any excuses in the middle? And you're too young to remember this, but there used to be that idea of like, well, it's diabetes. So if you're not having success, and someone else is, it's because you have a different kind of diabetes, and their diabetes is easier, which is not the case. You know, you know, in a huge majority of people that are outliers who have other health issues that make make it possible that that could be the truth. But for the most part for most people, if you use enough insulin at the right places, you have better outcomes. And so I have just, I mean, I was ahead of that curve. It was it was my my thought that we're going to project success. So that people can believe success as possible. And that it that actually reached you all the way in Switzerland. And, and helped you is it's, it's wonderful and, and I want to thank you in return, because without knowing it, you and many other people, you know, when you're just living your normal day, and it's nothing special, I'm not working, I'm just out doing something and the day is getting long, or it's getting boring, or I'm not doing the things I need to get done. And I'm starting to feel the weight of being alive. I can you know, imagine you somewhere a person I've never met, never spoken to whose health is in a much better situation, through something that I've made, and it helps me feel better. Do you know what I mean? So it's, um, it's nice to hear your story. Because that means I'm not just making that up in my head to make myself like happier. I'm not just walking around going you help people. It's okay, if we are stuck in traffic. You know what I mean? Like there's there's this thing, and it's cool because the podcast is perpetual. And because it's worldwide, it means that I've done something that's helping somebody even when I'm sleeping. Like it feels it feels very, it feels good. i There's no other word that needs to be attached to lovely feeling. And I appreciate you telling me that and I appreciate you sharing with other people. That seeing success can breed your own success. It doesn't have to be something that you look at and go Why are you making me feel badly because I'm not good at this. You'd like to be cuz no one's failing at it because they're not good at it. Like Laura's explained what happened to her, she came up in a culture where they were like, you're two seconds old, take care of yourself. And then you know, and then and then she gets diabetes, they're like, Yeah, keep taking care of yourself. And the doctors, like, don't go blind. And she's, you know, in her teens, you know, which is a crazy time to be telling somebody, you're in charge of diabetes. And by the way, it's gonna kill you if you mess it up. And then you still came out the other side of this. That's just wonderful. It's a, it's a great simple story. And you're so young, that you really have an opportunity to live your whole life this way. It's heartwarming.

Laura 45:41
Yeah, I completely agree. I like being being in the diabetes online community can be so empowering. And also, it's just a great place to be. But there are a couple of things that I don't really like. And the one with the A onesie is one of them. Lots of people don't post their a onesies. They're like, Oh, it's just such a personal thing. I, I don't want anyone to feel bad. I just don't get it honestly. Like, I think it's important to post normal agencies, normal blood sugars, because you get what you what you expect. So, um, you know, sometimes I'm, I, whenever I see, you know, other people posting their graphs and and, you know, you follow people, and you kind of get to know, how do they handle diabetes? And like, what kind of blood sugars they have? Of course, social media is never the full picture. But yeah, you kind of get a grasp of it. Yeah. There's I just, I'm sorry. Sorry, go

Scott Benner 47:02
ahead. No, I cut you off, I apologize. I was just gonna say, look, there are some people who don't share their a onesies, because they have their reasons, who cares what the reasons are, but there are other people who are trying to be, quote, unquote, diabetes influencers, and they're trying to make money off of it. And if they showed you their a one, C, you'd think well, why am I following this person? You know, and so they'll say, oh, I don't want to, you know, make people feel bad. But I'm, listen, I know a couple of people's stories privately that they would know that I know, and they're out there taking money off of people to teach them simple things like Pre-Bolus thing, and they don't know what they're doing. either. They're getting their information from other places. So and that's not the diabetes community. That's the world. Real, you know, like, that's, you know, what you're really describing, you know, what I talked about earlier, like somebody said, don't make me feel badly. That's just a weird thing in society right now. Like, apparently people can't be successful. Because if you're not successful, it makes you feel bad. Like I don't I don't know when we got to that point in the world. But you know, like that, that is everywhere. It's not just, you know, nobody disagrees and has a conversation. They're just like, You're wrong. And that's it. And then we just burn everything down seems to be what happens online. But that's not how the real world works. And so I think part of the reason why the podcast is still it works that way, is because it drags people into a form of digital media that they had no idea existed and had no interest in, like, Do you have any idea how many people listen to this podcast, but not other podcasts? You know what I mean? Or how many people listen to this, who would never have an Instagram account or never think to go on Facebook and don't care about the world and what other people think of each other. They just want to be healthy, they don't care how the hell they figure it out. You those that's the common sense that I represent. You know what I mean?

Laura 49:01
Yeah. And I also think it's it's important to change the narrative around type one diabetes, because I feel like it's it's just common knowledge that oh, you know, managing type one is so hard and oh, it's normal if your blood sugar fluctuates, and yesterday to a degree it is normal like healthy people's blood sugar's do fluctuate a little bit. But it's it's just so sad to me that type one diabetics feel like it's it's totally okay to have like 250 300 blood sugars when in fact it's not and and no one has ever told them and doesn't expect that from them and and it's just it's a sad because everyone deserves better Everyone deserves deserves to be in charge of their diabetes. And that's what I learned from your podcast, which is so, so useful and just empowering. I used to be, you know, in the passenger seat, I used to react to my blood sugar. And now I can act to get in front of my blood sugar and, you know, and decide where the car is going. I'm in the driver's seat now. And that's, I yeah, it's just, I, I don't really like in German, we say someone suffers from diabetes. And I hate the term because I used to suffer. I suffered for a decade. But ever since turning around my management, I honestly feel empowered by diabetes. So much so that I, sometimes I bring it up in job interviews, because so I loop with Omnipod and Dexcom. And, and I was asked once in a job interview, I was like, tell me a personal success story of yours. And I was like, Sure, okay. So, you know, I've got type one diabetes, and you know, I've got the insulin pump, blah, blah, blah. And I told him about loop and how I had to build the app on my iPhone. And it's just, you know, I, I reframe it as a as a personal success, because honestly, it is. And I just wish everyone could have this feeling of empowerment and being able to live well and be happy with type one

Scott Benner 51:44
you are, you're not reframing it, you're just explaining it properly. It is a it is a it's a major accomplishment. It really is. Yeah, no, you're very welcome. I listen, as you're talking. I, for one of the very first times, I'm 500 episodes into this, I thought to myself, I hope my daughter hears this episode one day. That's the first time I thought that while someone was talking, I really did like this. Your your success makes me feel proud of myself, and proud of you at the same time. And I don't normally feel like that. Normally, someone says, Hey, the podcast helped me and I feel like a little, I get a little giggly inside. I'm happy that it's good for you. And like I have that kind of thing. But I've never while you were talking, I thought there's a 25 year old person in Switzerland whose life is better. And I had something to do with it. And I didn't I don't usually think of it that way. And I suddenly oddly want my daughter to know that I did that for you. I don't know why all of a sudden, it just made me feel that way. So I hope she hears Arden if you're listening, and I'm dead, you should be at my grave more visiting me.

Seriously, think about me more often than you are and stop having sex with boys there. That's a message for the future Lord.

Wow, this is really terrific. You're making me so happy because? Because this is it's possible for anyone. And and the sooner people learn about this, the better. And I just I hear from too many people in their 40s and 50s and 60s, who say I can't believe I found this podcast so late in my life. That's a sadness. I don't want people to have to have is there. Was there anything that made the show assessable to you like, like, why did it strike you? Because I mean, look, as we're talking, I'm twice your age from another country. I have a completely different sensibility about most things, and you would imagine you do. And you and I Jive really well together. Why is that? Do you know?

Laura 53:57
Um, I don't know. I honestly your podcast is just so what it's funny, first of all, and that's important. And you're just such a good resource and just your your approach to diabetes is very, like I distinctly remember when you said like in one of your first episodes, you're like, explaining maybe it was even bold with insulin. I don't remember. But the one where you said just Bolus for a juice box. If it'll go low, you you'll just have the juice box if it doesn't, you know, you need the insulin. And I I just I remember I even remember where I was standing. When I heard that phrase because it just I don't know it just it just blew my mind and was like, of course how did no one ever think of this? And I just kept having moments like this when I was listening to your podcast, and it just, it was just, like such a huge learning curve. And it's not it's not boring, it's not very sciency. It's not, you know, super medical. It's just, it's just an easy conversation with amazing management ideas. And that's like, That combination is just, it's just so powerful. And it's not easy. Like, I think you're doing an amazing job. And I, honestly, you're, you're putting so much work in it. And I, I wish everyone could listen to the podcast. And I even try, you know, convincing some people here in Switzerland to listen to the podcast. But unfortunately, not everyone speaks English. That well. And, you know, the terms are quite technical. And, and you speak really fast. So it's not that easy for, for people here in Switzerland. But yeah, it's, I think, every seriously everyone should just listen to a podcast. And I don't know if you if you remember. Okay, a couple of years ago, I actually told my endo about your podcast, and she told other patients and those patients then came back with better results. And I, I like, like I wrote to on Instagram, and like you even said something like, on a show? I don't remember what I remember. But, um, yes, so I really hope to spread the word

Scott Benner 56:55
you tried to make me cry here at the end, Lauren is out today. It's gonna work, keep going. Just so you know, a little misty over her. I don't know what to say other than something sarcastic. So let me just say, I completely agree with you. I'm amazing. How's that? I don't know, I don't know what to say about that. I, I'm, I'm happy that it that it works. That's it, I'm very happy that it works. There's some weird mix me, we could sit here and pick it apart. But there's some weird mix of who I am and how I talk and what I know, and how I approach diabetes and how I approach talking to people. And for whatever reason, like, let's just be happy it works and keep going. You know, like, I don't need to understand that, that that deeply. I know that, I enjoy it. And I know that I'm excited to do it. And I and you're not wrong, it is a lot of work. And yet I don't feel like I'm working on it. I'm very excited to do it. Like I booked the recording, like on a day that I don't normally record because I got somebody and I was so excited to get them on the show. I just was like, Look, if your schedule doesn't fit mine, like I don't care, you just tell me when to do it. And they don't mess up my day that day a little bit. And it'll cause a little problem for my family. But I know it's gonna build the tapestry of this podcast more. And I know it's gonna it's gonna help people, and then has a chance of helping people in a big way. So to me, that doesn't seem like an imposition at all, just seems like obvious. I think, good.

Laura 58:28
Sorry. As a listener, like we can, we can really feel your passion. And I think that makes a difference. Like, you're really passionate about this topic. You You know, you speak from your own experiences, of course. And, and we can feel that and I honestly, it it's very motivating. Because there was a time where when I, I just had, I was so busy, and I didn't have the time to listen to your podcast. And actually, my agency increased a little bit because I wasn't like it wasn't this regular check in with with you with the podcast, like a weekly reminder to you know, people with insulin to do well to stop the arrows. And, and when I started again, it was I just I remember thinking, Oh, wait, that's why I was listening to this podcast because it's so amazing. And it's just

Scott Benner 59:35
like a mental exercise. When you have Yeah, it's mental exercise. It really is. It keeps you engaged. And I mean, listen, I could I could put on a different hat and tell you why I think the podcast works but it keeps you engaged and it it keeps you honest, it keeps it keeps you you know he talks about always being you know to take if you're gonna you know, do a weight loss thing, do it with a friend like that kind of stuff. So you have somebody to You know, can kind of check you a little bit, it's, it's the same idea is when people post their before picture online and then say I'm gonna start running now and you're accountable all of a sudden, to something. And this is kind of great because you don't have to be publicly accountable. You can just be accountable to a voice that doesn't talk back to you and doesn't know if you're not doing the things you wish you were doing. So it's kind of the best of both worlds in that case. Yeah, no, 100% and I treat it like that. I don't treat it like a hobby. Or I don't set it up to make money. It you know, it does it. It has ads, obviously. But you know, you know what I mean? Like, you see things on YouTube that, you know, like the person making the video doesn't care anything about this, they just know that this, this word gets clicks. And so they do a thing about this, like, I don't do that I have people on that I know will bring down the listenership that day. I think children are important to talk to. And there are a lot of adults who won't listen to the kids on. But I still do it with with great glee. I never think oh, here I go. I'm giving away downloads this week. I just think this is important. And and I genuinely believe what I've said to a lot of people, I think if you start at number one, and listen through, I think you're a once he goes into the sixes easily probably into the high fives. That's it. And yours is what right now.

Laura 1:01:23
So my last one was

Scott Benner 1:01:25
five, do you see those 300 400 blood sugars anymore? Never. Of course not. And you said something earlier about even somebody without diabetes, blood sugar goes up, and they have a spike to your 100%. Right, I've worn a CGM, and I've seen it myself, I was able to get my blood sugar to the 130s and the 140s. I think one time I had to eat a lot of pizza. But I got up into like the 160s for a couple of hours. But the difference is that if your blood sugar gets into the 160s, and you don't have diabetes, your body is going to effortlessly at some point bring your blood sugar back down to where it belongs without getting low. If you have type one diabetes 140 is not a big deal. But if 140 turns to the 160 turns the 180 turns into 225 You have such a crazy imbalance of insulin going on that either your blood sugar is going to stay high forever like that without intervention, or you're going to intervene in a way that's going to cause a bad low later, that's going to throw you into a rollercoaster. And the reason that I believe that intervention will cause a low is because if you knew what you were doing, your blood sugar wouldn't be 250 to begin with. So the same brain that got you to 250 is now trying to fix 250. And so you're just going to keep making problems because you just don't know what you're doing, which is fine. But there's a way to understand what you're doing. And not for nothing, Laura, but those things are available at diabetes pro tip comm or they begin at episode 210 at the podcast, right? Right, right. And Jenny's amazing. And you'll find Jenny in the pro tips. That she's amazing. Even though she has that weird accent. You can say she's lovely. She is lovely. But I mean she She talks like she's somewhere between Canada and, and Wisconsin. And she's so sweet. I'm just teasing because you have a weird accent. So I thought if I could get you to make fun of her accent and your accent, it would be hilarious. But then you didn't. You didn't take the bait. You just called her lovely. Nevermind, let it go or we'll move on.

Laura 1:03:22
Yeah, no, I completely agree with you with you know, diabetes roller coaster. And on that point, I, I would like to really encourage everyone listening. Like don't underestimate the power of the Dexcom alarms. i So, you know, I know you're a big proponent of pushing down the alarms as far as they go. And, you know, you're right. Like it seriously does matter. And it does make a difference. And for the longest time I had my alarm at maybe like 150 my high alarm and my emergency stayed in the low sixes high fives and when I changed it to 120 it actually came down like I'm rarely over 180 Because whenever it whenever it goes off I will have I mean of course loop is looping on it. But even if the if loop doesn't give enough insulin I'm I'm on it because I know it's happening and it's just it doesn't honestly bother me. It's it's like I see the alarm as something positive because I get to have the time to react before it's too high.

Scott Benner 1:04:49
That's something someone said in the past that I thought was amazing. She said I used to see the alarms as me messing up. But now I see the alarms as an opportunity to do the right thing that stopped something from going wrong. The way I think of it, the sooner you know, the sooner you can react, the sooner you react, the less insulin you need to react with, which will stop the spike, and significantly decrease the chance that you're going to get low later. That's it. A little bit of effort now stops a big problem later, or you ignore everything, until it's a huge problem, and then spent hours and hours and hours trapped in that problem. It's an obvious decision. Just you know, just and it's so simple. It really listen, if it wasn't easy. I couldn't explain it or good. I mean, really, I'm still reminded myself, she doesn't live in Sweden. She doesn't live in Sweden, and we're an hour into this. I'm no a brain surgeon. You don't I mean, like, it's, it's just it's simple, obvious stuff. And I think, I think the podcast does a good job of explaining how easy it can be and why you might think it's so difficult. You know, and, and all kinds of stuff. I'm so thrilled that you wanted to do this. I really appreciate it. Did we not talk about anything that you wanted to talk about?

Laura 1:06:04
Um, maybe just one less thing. I like I mentioned my hypo fear. And it was, yeah, maybe if we could talk about that a little bit. Because it was, it was really, like I struggled a lot. And it was really hard for me to get out of that fear. And I to be honest, I still am still a little bit afraid of insulin and being bold with insulin is can sometimes be a bit hard for me difficult because my thoughts keep going to open What if you go low? What if the insulin kicks in before your food? But yeah, I just

Scott Benner 1:06:57
how'd you get over it? I mean, how did you get as far over it as you have so far? Because it's a very obviously real thing. And it's one of the things I feel weird talking about not having diabetes, because I can't I don't believe that I can completely imagine what it feels like to willfully take something shoot it into yourself and go hmm, if I did this wrong, it's probably going to kill me. Here we go. Like that's a that's got to be a pretty big leap to make. I do. I do practice what I preach as best as I can. I can tell you that last night, Arden Arden's friends are starting to get their driver's license. Arden's a couple months younger than some of her friends. So she's going to be the last one. And last night, her and a friend, Bella, they went out, and then they ended up at dinner, where Arden texted me and said, Hey, we're getting like chips as an appetizer with cheese. And then I'm gonna have a waffle on I was like, okay, so she was a little on the lower side going into the meal so that when we put the carbs in, she didn't get all the insulin she should have gotten. And I was cutting the lawn, and she was at a restaurant. And so between the two of us, neither of us really noticed that she didn't get the insulin. And then it struck me about 15 or 20 minutes later, I was like, Oh, I wonder, you know, I'll check. So I texted with her and I said, Oh, no, we got to get that insulin in now. And so we put a lot of insulin in she was in a restaurant eating a waffle that I imagine had real, like syrup on it not like sugar free, I think where she was doesn't have sugar free. So I tried to, I tried to get all that in my math. And I was like, here use this much. I think this will work. And then she ate dinner, and everything was great. But as she got to the car to leave her blood sugar was suddenly like dropping, you know, which, I think if we were together, there weren't so many circumstances, we probably could have avoided pretty easily. And but she was in a car driving at that point, you know, with a brand new driver with a girl who basically had driven like three times before that by yourself. And so I didn't want to be like, hey, race home as fast as you can, because I thought that'll just get them killed a different way. You know, so I said, Hey, you got a juice with you? And she said, I do. I said, Why don't you go ahead and drink it. So she drank the juice. We stopped the arrows, she leveled out around 78. And she was okay. But without the intervention of the juice. I think she gets the 50 That's my guess. Right. But still, I can tell you that in the face of potato chips dipped in cheese and waffle dipped in sugar. I would rather have what happened than what would have happened if we weren't as aggressive. So okay, so we missed a little bit, right because we got out of balance a little bit. And so we were way more aggressive because we messed up the timing, if that makes sense to people listening. But still, I'd rather stop a low or falling blood sugar, then fight with the high one. I think that's a great decision in the moment. I think that's a great decision for long term health. But at the same time, I did it with my daughter remotely while she was in a car with a new driver like I'm not foolish Laura like I we do What'd I say on the podcast? You know what I mean? So, but again, I'm not 25 A doctor didn't tell me I was gonna kill myself. My parents were never helping me. And I'm working on this by myself. So that fear was with you. The entire time you had diabetes, when did you start to try to conquer it?

Laura 1:10:21
So actually, I, I wasn't like, I didn't have a fear of hypose until my like my late teens. And I like I had one experience, which kind of triggered it. So I I wanted to eat breakfast, and I had like yogurt and cereal. And it was like a huge Bolus. And I was Pre-Bolus Singh at the, at the time. And I was already on the lower side, like maybe 80 ish. And I play Bolus I forgot to eat. So I waited a bit too long. And then as I started eating, I felt sick to my stomach. So I, I had also insulin on board and I just couldn't eat. And I was like, Oh, crap, what am I what am I gonna do? And so I, I felt like I couldn't hold down anything. So I started eating, like bread, and I think glucose steps, shoving them into my mouth. And I told my mom, like, I have all this insulin on board, I am not sure if if this is going to go well, like, prepared to glucose, just in case. And I was there was the first moment I actually felt afraid, like, some sort of existential fear. Yeah, so we got into the car and drove to the hospital. And I kept eating glucose tabs until we got to the hospital. And we just sat in front of the hospital in the car, and waited for my blood sugar to come up. So that was the first experience. I didn't end up in the hospital. I hadn't, I didn't have to use glucagon. But like the fears struck, very deep. And then, like a couple of weeks later, I was at university. And I was in this huge, huge class with like, 600 people and I was sitting like, on one side of the room, and I wanted to eat a yogurt, and I bought last and ate yogurt. And then I watched my blood sugar, my Dexcom and it went up to like 130 and then it stayed there. And I just panicked. I thought oh my god, the insulin is gonna kick in and I'm just gonna tank and I will have a seizure in this room full of 600 people. Oh my god, I can't do this. So I I left the room. A good friend of mine came with me. And like we're asked where I study, the university is literally right across the street from my endos office. So I just walked to my endless office, drinking juice on the way. I don't even know why I went to the office because honestly, what

Scott Benner 1:13:41
they would have just told you you were going to go blind probably. Yeah.

Laura 1:13:45
Well, that was a different end. But yeah, I just I was seeking some sort of security. I was like, maybe it like if I have seizures take I'm sure they can help

Scott Benner 1:13:59
these people know what to do. Yeah, right. I just stare but did you fix it on your own? Or was it ever a problem? Or was that just anxiety about being in a room with all those people?

Laura 1:14:11
Honestly, if I had just, if I had just stayed there, my blood sugar would have been perfect. But I was just panicking. And so I completely over treated my It wasn't even a low I just over treated periods. And I

Scott Benner 1:14:28
sorry, you didn't need that juice at all.

Laura 1:14:30
No, no, not at all. Like I ended up at a no 350 And when I got to my Endo, I was like, I'm just I'm just so afraid of like of the incident i i thought i was gonna pass out and he was really rude. She just didn't take me seriously. I was like, Oh, you'll be fine, just whatever. And and I was having this issue Potential fear and, and he would just, he just didn't get it. He didn't give me the comfort and he didn't make sure I felt safe. And that just stuck with me. And I was I wasn't able to shake this fear. So I started, I literally couldn't get much higher. Yeah, yeah, I was I was giving my Basal insulin, and but I couldn't Bolus for anything. So I started eating very, very low carb. And basically not following so. So that's when my agency Shut up to 9.3. Because I, my blood sugar was 250 the entire time. Sometimes I'd have 1015 Day stretches where I get my blood sugar wouldn't get into the one hundreds. Because I had so much fear around insulin.

Scott Benner 1:16:03
Can I tell you that part of my feeling around this comes from a very, very long time ago. So a really long time ago, the diabetes community lived in earnest on Twitter, it's not really there anymore, with the same kind of power. But there was this one girl, and I don't know her name, honestly, I'm not saying I don't know her name. Because I'm trying to keep it private. I don't know her name, I don't remember who she was. I remember her being in her mid to late 20s. And she would periodically reach out. And she was frozen. She couldn't give herself insulin at all. She had some sort of massive hysteria about it like it was it was beyond just fear it I don't know if I'm saying that correctly. But she was having some sort of a breakdown, it felt like to me from a distance. And I just remember thinking, she's got to pull this together, it's gonna kill her. And people would try to help her. And sometimes she'd say she was doing better. But it just looked like she was doing worse and worse. And then one day, she just disappeared. And I just always wondered, you know, I have no way of knowing what happened to her. I never really knew her, I don't think I ever even corresponded with her, I just was watching it happen. And I thought, look how real the fear is, like, everyone must feel some percentage of the she's obviously feeling all of it, you know, plus, she's getting for people's doses of fear. But I just thought I'm afraid to, you know, I have to not be afraid. And that's about the time that I started talking to people more and more writing about and trying to decide how to not be afraid. Because it just seems like step one to me. You know, you can't be afraid if you're afraid of the insulin, you can't use the insulin, if you can't use the insulin, you're not gonna have great outcomes, etc, etc, on and on. So the fear is real, it's understandable. And there's a way to mitigate it. So how did you end up mitigating it?

Laura 1:18:05
I don't actually know. It's it just happened over the years. I? Well, so my boyfriend was he was very supporting, and he, whenever I'd get anxious and just afraid, he'd say, oh, but it's okay. Just, let's just wait 10 minutes and see what your blood sugar does. And if it does drop, you can you can always drink something or eat something. And so I just, I just trusted the process, honestly. And,

Scott Benner 1:18:39
but yeah, a little support to there was somebody standing next to you like, like, alright, I'll stay we'll do it together. You weren't alone anymore.

Laura 1:18:46
Yeah, right. And also, I, I started carrying around glucagon. And so I had this kind of security blanket. Just in case something happened. I don't actually know if people would know how to use the glucagon, or even find it. But you know, it's just my I kept telling myself, you'll be fine.

Scott Benner 1:19:09
Here. Someone will take it. I have to be honest, I can post in my head but never typed out. Hey, why don't you explain how to use the Chivo Kibo pen to your friend while you're driving? Like, yesterday when I was talking to him, like I had the thought I'd like the juice is gonna work. But I knew after the juice hitter if I didn't see a change pretty quickly. She was in a car and she was out of options. She didn't have any more sugar with her. They weren't that far from home either. And so I thought like how will I like, like, what's the least? What's the least frightening way to say I think you might have to stick that hypo pen in your thigh in a second. You know what I mean? Like if this doesn't go our way, so I kind of thought it through the best I could. I never even typed it out. But I did I had a lot of comfort in it. And I have to admit, and I know they're a sponsor, so it sounds, but there's something about it just being in that premix pen that makes me feel more comfortable. Because I can't imagine saying to Arden, hey, now would be a good time to get the powder out and the liquid and get the liquid. Okay, just you know, while you're driving along in a car, it that all seems daunting. The other idea just seemed like, oh, wow, we really messed up like it's time to jam the pen. She's never done it, but it didn't seem scary to say, I guess.

Laura 1:20:31
Yeah, yeah. But that's how I feel about the vaccine. Yeah. Oxymoron.

Scott Benner 1:20:36
Is that the nasal one?

Laura 1:20:38
The nasal one. Yeah. Okay.

Scott Benner 1:20:39
Yeah. Just it seems easier. And that's great technology, making people's lives better again, because now you you don't have to wait until something goes wrong wrong. Because you're not getting involved in what feels like a super it's, it's physically you're launching something to the moon. But that'll, that'll, that'll glucagon. You know, like, I don't know if I can do this or not. It seems like a lot. So it's cool. But so you found it, you found some stability. And now you're right on it. Right? And and in all truth, when your settings are good. When you're not guessing at your Basal. And when you're not just throwing insulin wildly around, those kinds of fluctuations are far fewer, I would imagine.

Laura 1:21:22
Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I'm, like, I'm mostly well controlled. I do still struggle a bit with my blood sugar dropping because of activity. So for example, yesterday. We also we ate dinner, and I Bolus to cover my dinner. And then I just ran randomly decided to water all my plants. So I was walking around the apartment with with a heavy, whatever it's called, like the thing to water the plants. And my blood sugar went from, like, I don't know, 150 to 40. Just because I was watering the plants. And if I had stayed, you know, if I had just sat down and watch TV, I would have been completely fine. And so that's where I'm still struggling because I don't want to limit myself. I want to be able to be spontaneous, and randomly decide to do things without my blood sugar crashing like crazy. And

Scott Benner 1:22:41
what are you watering the plants with a fire hose? And how big is your apartment?

Laura 1:22:45
It's actually so small. But I've got lots of small plants all around. So I need to walk into every room.

Scott Benner 1:22:52
Do you get low every time you water the plants?

Laura 1:22:56
I'm mostly Yeah. Interesting. But it's not just watering the plants. It just, you know, it could be I don't know, ironing or, you know, like tidying up, whatever it takes to just, you know, just walking around the apartment and or moving or whenever I get ready to leave. There's just a huge ache I get so insulin sensitive whenever I start moving and walking. And that's a struggle because I like I need enough insulin to cover my leg by Basal when I'm sitting when I'm doing nothing. But then as soon as I start moving, I need so much less insulin and I just hate to eat or drink something because I feel like I'm putting on weight.

Scott Benner 1:23:49
Well, what about what about this? What about you said you're looping? What about making your Basal a little weaker and your meal ratio a little heavier? Do you think you could accomplish that? Like if you took a little bit out of your Basal but major meals more aggressive? Do you think that you could find a balance there? So when you were away from food you wouldn't have I probably wouldn't be by a lot like you're a tiny person right? Like your pictures not very big right? Okay, so what are your Basal is like, like point eight an hour or something like that?

Laura 1:24:20
Um, yeah, I have I've got some point eight 1.1

Scott Benner 1:24:29
Is anyone else impressed that from five Instagram pictures? I guess your Basal right.

Laura 1:24:36
I'm very impressed.

Scott Benner 1:24:37
I was too honestly because when I said I was going to be wrong about this. So you know, like maybe that's the case like maybe you could steal a little bit of Basal and switch it around a little bit for those activity times is the one point something daytime or nighttime. Daytime daytime and the point is overnight. Yep. You could try lowering impressive. Thank you. You could try lowering the daytime a little bit and maybe be more aggressive with Could you take away some Basal and then first look at the insulin sensitivity during the day, or maybe meal ratios, I'm not sure where I would start. But there's got to be a way to do that because you should be able to water your plants. At first I thought, I thought you were like using a euphemism for something else. I was like she's trying to talk about sexy time without saying it. And so, because I just couldn't, couldn't imagine walking around watering your plants. But maybe that's it, maybe you're being kind of real aggressive with your Basal, and it's making up for a little bit of where your meals are lacking could be thinking yeah, yeah, that could be think about meanwhile, you don't listen to me. But this, this begs the question then. And you are young. So I start feeling weird when I say it, but what do you do for private time?

Laura 1:26:03
Hmm. So there's actually enough time between like, a meal and like private time so that I don't have any insulin on board, so it's fine. Alright,

Scott Benner 1:26:14
so I'm gonna ask a really weird private question. Is most of your private time in the evenings after your Basal rates lower?

Laura 1:26:23
Well, now I like now I can tell my parents to listen to do you think they'd be disappointed?

Scott Benner 1:26:31
Do you think Laura, they'd be more horrified to know that you do it when you can see each other? Oh, God. Alright, well, oh, and they're, they're very tight. They're probably Catholic, too, right? Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. Your daughter doesn't have sex. Don't worry about it. I just forget it. Nevermind. Anyway, you understand what I'm saying? I just wanted you to be able to put those ideas into your life. Not. Not not, you don't have to tell me the details. There's anyway, I'm sorry. You guys. You guys should stop listening. Now. It's over. Goodbye. Bye. Bye. Sorry, I actually have to roll I have. So I'm having a really great time talking to you. But I do have something else I have to get to. I apologize. But I really can't thank you enough for doing this. And in all honesty, if I keep this podcast going for years, you were one of the people I would like to have back on one day.

Laura 1:27:27
Oh, I'd love that.

Scott Benner 1:27:34
I want to thank Laura very much for coming on the show and sharing her story. I'd also like to thank TrialNet and the Contour Next One blood glucose meter for sponsoring this episode. Head over to trial net.org forward slash juicebox to get your free type one diabetes risk screening. And if you're looking for a great blood glucose meter, look no farther than the Contour Next One. Find out all about it at contour next one.com forward slash juicebox. Don't forget to check out the private Facebook group for the podcast. It's called Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes. Find those diabetes pro tips at diabetes pro tip.com.