#1365 Trendsetter

Amber's type 1 diagnosis, family history, weight loss journey, relationships, and finding balance.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Welcome back to another episode of The Juicebox podcast.

Amber is 34 she was diagnosed with type one diabetes about three and a half years ago. She's the mother of two children, and she's got a really interesting story that involves her family and her ex husband, and I hope that you enjoy listening to her today. Nothing you hear on the Juicebox podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan when you place your first order for ag one, with my link, you'll get five free travel packs and a free year supply of vitamin D drink. Ag one.com/juice, box. Don't forget to save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com. All you have to do is use the offer code juice box at checkout. That's Juicebox at checkout to save 40% at cozy earth.com if you are the caregiver of someone with type one diabetes or have type one yourself, please go to T 1d exchange.org/juice, box and complete the survey. This should take you about 10 minutes, and will really help type one diabetes research. You can help right from your house at T 1d exchange.org/juicebox,

today's episode is sponsored by Medtronic diabetes, a company who's working to make the invisible visible through their blue balloon. Challenge life with diabetes is like doing everything in life while trying to keep a balloon in the air. The blue balloon is a powerful metaphor for the daily struggles that those living with diabetes go through. Medtronic invites you to join the challenge by taking a video of yourself balancing a balloon while doing something in your everyday life. Post your challenge on social media with the hashtag, blue balloon challenge and follow at Medtronic diabetes on Instagram to see other blue balloon challenge videos. This show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries, gvoke hypo pen. Find out more at gvoke glucagon.com forward slash Juicebox, the episode you're listening to is sponsored by us Med, us. Med.com/juice, box, or call, 888-721-1514, you can get your diabetes testing supplies the same way we do from us. Med, Okay, whenever you're ready.

Amber 2:39
Oh, wait, okay, one more time. I'm sorry. Wait,

Scott Benner 2:42
that was the first time. No, that's definitely staying in just so you know, this is now the opening of your episode. Go ahead.

Amber 2:49
Hi. My name is Amber, and I have been a type one diabetic for three and a half years now.

Unknown Speaker 2:55
Amber, how old are you?

Amber 2:57
I am 34 you

Scott Benner 2:58
sound 34 isn't it weird that 34 sounds like something like when you listen to me, I don't sound 24 right? Correct? Yeah, you sound like you're in your 30s. That's so interesting. You're 34 and you've had type one for three and a half years. Oh, yes,

Amber 3:16
okay, right at the right at the break of

Scott Benner 3:19
COVID, right as COVID was happening, or as it was ending, as it was in full force. Did you have COVID Before you were diagnosed? So I had COVID before

Amber 3:29
it became COVID The December before the outbreak. I'm from a little town, and there was suddenly crazy sickness going on, and people were in the hospital for months on end, nobody could figure out what it was. Yeah, it was COVID.

Scott Benner 3:44
My wife talks about that all the time. She's like, Gosh, look back, people had COVID for a while. We didn't know what it was. And I was like, Yeah, I actually, to give my wife a ton of credit, she said to me, I don't know how long before COVID, like, maybe a month or six weeks before. She said, Hey, there's a bunch of people are sick in China. We're gonna get it here. And I was like, I was like, what? She's Yeah, it's gonna make its way here, a cow. She goes, Oh, it's a virus. She started explaining it to me, and I'm like, right? I said, but that's in China. And she goes, it'll get here. And I was like, Oh, she goes. She said to me, I swear to God, my wife said to me, in time, everyone on the planet will have had this virus that's wild. She should play, you know, she's like, a biology degree or something. And, um, I don't know, she gets paid every week. I don't ask a lot of questions. How it happens? You don't even and while she was talking, I was like, this one again, talky, talky. Talky doesn't know what she's saying.

Amber 4:40
She was onto something, huh? Anyway, I

Scott Benner 4:42
was kidding about that. My wife is almost always right, except when she's acting like crazy, and even then, she's right a couple of times. Yeah, correct. Yep. You may have already named the episode, but I'm not going to tell you yet. Okay, what I think it is, so is it called?

Amber 4:59
Wait? We, can we start over?

Scott Benner 5:01
No. How did you ask to start over when you hadn't actually started Welcome

Amber 5:06
to my brain. My friends love me. It's great. You were like,

Scott Benner 5:09
I was like, go ahead, whenever you're ready. And now, usually all that gets cut out, right? Like you listen to the podcast. What usually happens is, like, there's ads, and then you just go. You hear like, Hi, I'm Amber, and I'm 34 years old, and I was diagnosed, Bucha, right? But yours is gonna go, Yeah, it'll stop, and then people will hear,

Amber 5:30
Oh, my goodness, wait, that's so big, Wait,

Scott Benner 5:32
can I start over? I was like, all I was thinking was, wait, you started already?

Amber 5:39
This. This is me. My name is Amber. This is how my life goes. This is on a daily basis. Welcome, welcome. What

Scott Benner 5:45
do you mean by that? Tell me. Tell me about that

Amber 5:47
I am just what what you've heard so far. It's just literally me and my brain. It's it's an interesting place to be in my brain, my my kids love it, my boyfriend, everyone gets a good laugh at me, and it's all in they laugh with me, not at me. They say.

Scott Benner 6:03
They say it alright.

Amber 6:06
They say it's with me. I laugh at myself a lot. My brain is just an interesting

Scott Benner 6:10
place to be. Wow. I need an example, though. Well,

Amber 6:14
that would be the perfect example. And then I hadn't even started, I had already shut down and say, Wait, can we start over? And you're like, Wait, what just happened?

Scott Benner 6:21
Oh, there's a lot of moments where we go, what did Amber say? How does that relate to reality? Like that? Yeah. Oh, I can't wait to start talking to you. Then that's fantastic.

Amber 6:31
It's fun. It's fun your whole life, like that. Honestly, I think it's been in the last couple years I just, I have so much going on. My brain is non stop to where I just, I can't complete sentences. I don't always it's it's chaotic in there. It's chaotic. But I'm a busy woman, you know, and I just have a lot going on. And

Scott Benner 6:54
do you, what are your I don't usually start like this, but what are your blood sugars like? What's your range you stay in what's your A, 1c that stuff.

Amber 7:02
I sit my a, 1c sits around like 6.3 ish, I would say, what's hot? What's

Scott Benner 7:09
a high blood sugar for you,

Amber 7:10
like 171 80. I know some people are great with like a high being like 130 we're not there yet. I'm a work in progress. I my highs are, you know, my alarms are set at 170 and after that, I consider myself high.

Scott Benner 7:24
Okay, okay, well, your a one sees like 6.3 do you have a lot of lows? No, no, do not. So you're not 170 often, then maybe three hours a day, something like that.

Amber 7:37
Yeah, it's usually in the evenings. I tend to eat higher fat at dinner, and it's something I keep telling myself to stop doing, because at that three, four hour mark, my alarm goes off because I set it to 160 at night. So it's usually in the evening, sometimes after lunch. It depends. I normally eat the same thing because I work out a lot. I'm very consistent with my my working out and my eating. I eat the same thing almost every day. So anytime I kind of venture off, is when I, you know, sometimes I'll get a spike

Scott Benner 8:04
when you tell yourself not to do that anymore. Do you actually use the words or do you think you're going to say it? They go and then don't get it out. No, I

Amber 8:11
tell myself. But I'm also stubborn, so sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes I'm just not paying attention. You know, I got two kids here and I got three cats and Amber don't pay attention. Tell

Scott Benner 8:21
me about the argument yourself is having with itself, about about fatty foods.

Amber 8:26
It's basically like, you know, whenever people want to quit doing something, they have that inner dialog and then whether they follow through with it or not. You know, it comes to that like your determination and your willpower. I have very strong willpower. I do a lot every day that I don't necessarily want to do. But when it comes to food, I'm like, Hey, we're not going to do this tonight. And then I'm like, oh my goodness, bacon sounds phenomenal. No, we

Scott Benner 8:51
are definitely doing this. Yeah, yeah. So this is your Is it fair to say this is the place where you're so in controls in other places. So here's where you cut yourself a break.

Amber 9:02
Sometimes I try not to cut myself a break with food. I mean, I'm, I'm really, really, really good with food for the most part. So I wouldn't say this is where I cut myself a break. I'm very strict with my eating. Yeah, I don't, I don't know what it is. Well,

Scott Benner 9:16
that was my other question for you, after what you told me so far. So eat the same things over and over again. Did you do that before diabetes?

Amber 9:23
I did so in my 20s, I had gained a lot of weight. I was pretty heavy. And then when I was 25 I started going through the process of going through a separation with someone, and then, you know, eating healthier and getting in shape. And then, you know, I became a single mom, and over the course, in total, I've lost 100 and I'm around like 110 pounds. So I had started to thankfully, I had started that process of learning about protein, carbs and fats and my macros well before I had diabetes. So once I transferred into it, that piece of. Puzzle was cake work. Cake work. Listening to me cake that. That part of the puzzle was very easy to me. Yeah. Also,

Scott Benner 10:06
it's cake walk, is the saying. But wait, this is, this is uncovering like a great conversation. So hold your thought there. Okay, but I'll hold it for you. You don't need to hold it. And now let's go back to you as a kid. Your mom had type one. My

Amber 10:24
mom, yes, she was a type one. She was diagnosed at nine before they really knew much. They actually she was in the hospital, and they shot her up with sugar water and put her into a coma for

Scott Benner 10:37
fun. No, they, they, I

Amber 10:40
guess she was not responsive because her blood sugars were so high. And I guess they gave her sugar water, thinking it would kind of like revive her and wake her up, and they put her into a coma for a couple weeks. What

Scott Benner 10:50
year was that?

Amber 10:51
6069, 1970

Scott Benner 10:56
maybe she's unresponsive. She needs energy. Sugar is energy like that. Oh, wow, yeah,

Amber 11:02
absolutely, put her into a coma. Yep,

Scott Benner 11:04
no kidding. Oh yeah. I was like picturing, I was picturing one of those old 70s TV shows about the hospitals and the ladies had the paper hats on it, sort

Amber 11:15
of probably, yeah, she was actually the first diabetic patient at her hospital. Again, small town, they didn't know anything about it. So, yeah, she became a diabetic very young at nine. And I've actually uncovered more lately as to, you know, the doctors in what they were telling her to do throughout her life. My mom was very, very sick throughout her life. So there's a lot behind

Scott Benner 11:38
that. Yeah, I want to hear actually. Do you mind talking about that? Because I think I don't want to give it away too quickly, Amber, but I think this story has to do with your weight gain, eventual divorce, and where we are now. Do you want to? Do you want to find out how? Why? I think that Absolutely. Do you think that

Amber 11:56
I think my mom and her, you know, everyday dealing with type one diabetes has had a monstrous effect on my life. I've actually had to go through a lot of therapy in the recent years because of it.

Scott Benner 12:08
But before we start in the recent years, are you Canadian?

Amber 12:11
No,

Scott Benner 12:12
are you in Minnesota or up north?

Amber 12:15
Am I having Do I have an accent? I

Scott Benner 12:17
don't know you just That was a weird turn of phrase. That's all

Amber 12:20
Oh no, no, no. I'm Floridian, born and raised that I understand. Now,

Scott Benner 12:25
don't worry about it. You just didn't put the words in the right order. It's not your fault. I understand. Okay, all

Amber 12:32
right. It's my brain. See, you will uncover my brain as we go. It's literally just my brain. Welcome to the Andrew show.

Scott Benner 12:37
It's very interesting. I that's all I'm having. Such a nice time people like you generally, I imagine, yes,

Amber 12:43
they do. I'm an interesting person to be around, and it's just my brain. I don't know. It's nothing I do different. It's just how it works. I don't know. No, you're incredibly

Scott Benner 12:51
likable.

Amber 12:52
Oh, thank you.

Scott Benner 12:53
I think so. That's delightful, too, that you're not like, Oh, that's okay. No, no, don't say that about me. You're like, No, I think I am likable. That's fantastic.

Amber 13:02
I'm pretty decent. I don't have a lot of friends because I'm so busy, but the people who I do have around tend to, they tend to like me, my dad, oh, my dad doesn't tend to care for me that much, but everyone else does

Scott Benner 13:13
pretty decent, by the way, decent meaning about halfway good, and pretty meaning halfway good. Like, you're like, a quarter excellent, is what you're telling me, yeah. All right, so let's go back when you're born, which is some 34 years ago, which I could figure out if I wanted to. So let's see. It's 2024 Oh, 1990 89 that's the year I graduated from high school. Holy hell. All right, so you were born in 89 and, oh, that's gonna hit me hard for a second. Give me a second. So you're born in 89 at that point, your mom is, How old do you know, or how long had she had diabetes? Already?

Amber 13:53
She was, I believe she was around 20 when she had me. She was also the first diabetic woman to give birth in a hospital. It was a huge ordeal. She was told she would never be able to have kids. So I was, I was the miracle child to my family, which meant I got so much love growing up from my aunts and my grandparents. But yeah, she was the first diabetic to give birth in that in that little town Hospital, in

Scott Benner 14:19
that hospital, because it wasn't like in Florida or America. She

Amber 14:23
was the first, we're from a very small town, yeah? Like they were,

Scott Benner 14:27
like, one of them lived long enough to have a baby like that, right? Yeah. And when I do that voice, is that the part of Florida you're talking about?

Unknown Speaker 14:35
Do it again. I don't

Scott Benner 14:39
want to insult anybody. But is it a little, I think people have never been to Florida. Don't know, like, there's a part of Florida that's like, you know Disney and Orlando, and there's a part of Florida that feels almost like Texas got a beach, you know what? I mean? 100%

Amber 14:53
Yeah, it's still around. Not as much anymore. Unfortunately, it's all being built up. But absolutely okay.

Scott Benner 14:59
Also. I've been to Texas, and I've never heard one person speak like that. But that's not the point. I'm just going on what I saw on television when I was a child. By the way, in those old hospital shows, the doctors would smoke cigarettes when they stood around and talked, yes, yes, they did, fantastic. I miss that so much. Mom has the baby. The baby's you. You're a miracle, because she's got diabetes and she had a baby. So how old was she when she was diagnosed? Now she was nine, nine. Okay? And this is obviously, like, she's probably getting well in that time. Do you even know? Have you ever spoken to her about it in regards what kind of I know? I'm sorry I stopped in the middle of my thought, my God, no. I'm like, No. I'm like, my mom. I'm like, You feeling what you think? I mean, her insulin. Do you know what she started with? Was it beef and pork? Was it regular? Mph,

Amber 15:48
that part? I actually do not know. Okay, so,

Scott Benner 15:52
was she born to people who were like diabetes? We'll take this very seriously. Yeah,

Amber 15:58
for you know, it's interesting, for the year prior, she had been complaining that she had been having issues, and they kind of just blew it off, thinking that she, you know, she was calling from school saying she didn't feel good, and she was always nauseous and vomiting and shaky, and they just thought that she was trying to get attention. So once they found out, they obviously felt absolutely horrible. And then after that, it was, you know, game on. They were 100% on board.

Scott Benner 16:27
Okay, they work out to the best of that times ability that she has diabetes. But did you say she was a sick kid? Was it about the diabetes, or was it other stuff? This episode of the podcast is sponsored by Medtronic diabetes, and this is Aaron.

Aaron 16:41
My name is Aaron Suchi Tori. I'm from Honolulu, Hawaii. I was first diagnosed with type one diabetes when I was about one and a half years old, and I'm 25 years old today. Who helps you keep your balloon in the air? Gone through this journey together with my mom, who's been type one diabetic for most of her life as well. What else have

Scott Benner 16:59
you found supportive.

Aaron 17:01
Having really great friends and support systems in school, I was very lucky. I had some great roommates, especially my freshman year. We talked for like three hours. I was explaining every little thing you hear this beep, it means this, there would be times where he would wake me up in the middle of the night to make sure I was okay.

Scott Benner 17:17
How did it feel when people knew how to use your Medtronic technology?

Aaron 17:20
Great to know that I had people that had my back. Medtronic

Scott Benner 17:24
diabetes is making the invisible visible through their blue balloon. Challenge. Life with diabetes is, of course, like doing everything in life while trying to keep a balloon in the air. The blue balloon is a powerful metaphor for the daily struggles that those living with diabetes go through. Medtronic invites you to join the challenge by taking a video of yourself balancing a balloon while doing something in your everyday life. Post your video on social media with the hashtag blue balloon challenge and follow at Medtronic diabetes on Instagram to see other blue balloon challenge videos.

Amber 17:55
It was about the diabetes. She had had it for a while before they diagnosed it. So obviously, with having the higher blood sugars all the time she was she was not feeling good.

Scott Benner 18:06
Do you know much about her care? Like, do you know how, like, what were her doctor's visits? Positive, generally speaking. Or, you know, by the time she was an adult, and they knew more about it was she just not doing well? Still, as

Amber 18:19
a child, I'm not sure. As an adult, I have learned more recently through speaking to my step dad and I'm, I'm honestly a little frustrated by it, because I feel like in these, you know, she passed away three she passed away right before I was diagnosed. Through the 2000s and especially 2000 10s, there's no reason she should have been getting the advice and the guidance that she was getting. It's a little heart heartbreaking like what? Whenever I was first diagnosed, I spoke to my step dad, and I was terrified of being diagnosed, because I watched, you know, everything my mom went through, which is something we can talk about. He said her ranges were always really good. She was always in range and never really had any issues. And then more recently, I said, Can you explain that, please? Oh, no. What it was was that I was, I was actually up in North Carolina not long ago on vacation with him, and he said, Well, you're at, you're at 99 and you're bolusing for your lunch. And I said, Yeah, why wouldn't I? And he said, Well, you know, your mom, the doctor, said you don't Bolus for your meal if you're under 150 and I said, Excuse me, yeah. And that's heartbreaking to me, yeah.

Scott Benner 19:26
And so the range, you know, it's funny. The other night, I was up in the middle of the night, Arden was getting up to go see the sunrise with her friends, which I was like, I would like to be in college and it'd be summer, because that sounds lovely, like, she's popping out of bed at 330 in the morning. She's like, I'm gonna go. And I'm like, Okay, well, it woke me up a little bit. And while I was trying to go back to sleep, I got online and I saw a person on in my group talking, and newer diagnosed person, you know, she's like, I don't know what's wrong with my kid. Has the, you know, kids got this horrible headache, and. And they use the phrase, her blood sugars aren't that something out of range or high or something. But you know, it turns out, once you read it, the kid's been between like 180 and 300 all day. And in that person's mind, this newly diagnosed kid is in range, yeah, because a doctor said to them, you don't want to be under this number. Whatever the lowest number is. You know, if a blood sugar spikes up even to 300 and it comes back down again, it's okay. So now you you give that person that feeling that the range is up to 300 and now her kids sitting around all day, you know, sick, horrible headaches, crazy, high blood sugar, and this person's looking and going, I don't understand. It's got to be something else. Like she was literally having conversations with people trying to figure out why little kids have headaches, but they weren't talking about the blood sugar correct and, and that's from the doctor, and this is what happens to your mom, yes, yeah, yeah. And so did you have the heart that explain that to your step dad, or do you not want him to feel like, oh my god, I stood and watched her do that forever and ever. No,

Amber 21:07
I did tell him that. I told him how upsetting and heartbreaking that was, you know, because I don't, I definitely don't feel like the doctors did her. They didn't do as good as they could have. You know, my mom suffered for a lot of years, and my mom always said to me, if you ever I feel like it's God's it's God's intervention. Honestly, it's so interesting, because my mom always said to me, if you develop type one diabetes like me, I will never be able to forgive myself. It will be so painful. And literally, months after she passed, I was diagnosed, but as much as I'm happy that my body waited for her to pass before, you know, doing its thing, I also wish that I had gotten it before, because I feel like I really could have helped her out a lot more. You know, I didn't really, even though she grew up, or I grew up with her having it, I never she tried to hide stuff from me. You know, obviously, she's my mom, but I wish I had known more to be able to help her more, because she's, you know, she might still be with us today.

Scott Benner 22:06
So you're saying that there's a part of you that thinks if I would have just gotten diabetes when I was 24 then I would have learned about this and been able to transfer to her, and she might have been okay then, oh, 100%

Amber 22:20
my mom was my absolute best friend, and I would have done anything, and if I would have known then what I know now, I feel like she could have still been alive to this day. 100%

Scott Benner 22:32
Yeah, well, I hope you talked about that with that therapist you mentioned earlier. Yes, I had good I don't want you walking around with that in your head, because you know why? It's one of those horrible things in life, you're probably right. Yes, yeah, it's not like a wish thing, where you're like, Oh, I just wish, if this would have happened, that teddy bears would turn pink and start walking around like, like, you're probably right. If you would have figured out that. Because you hear the podcast, people tell that story all the time. Yes, I didn't take care of myself, but then I wanted to get married, and you know, the person I wanted to get married to was like, I need you to take care of yourself. I love you. And they're like, Okay, I will. And then that happens, or a lot of times, adults have younger children who are diagnosed, and they realize that the blood sugars they're okay with for themselves they're not okay with for their kids, and then they take care of themselves too. And so that kind of would have been your story, just a little aged flipped, but, oh, I'm sorry, yeah, okay, let's not, let's not grind that into your head anymore. Yeah. How does she pass like? What? What ends up happening is, it's from the diabetes, obviously, but, but how so if you take insulin or so Fauci you are at risk for your blood sugar going too low. You need a safety net when it matters most, be ready with G VO, hypo pen. My daughter carries G VO, K hypo pen everywhere she goes, because it's a ready to use rescue pen for treating very low blood sugar in people with diabetes, ages two and above that, I trust low blood sugar, emergencies can happen unexpectedly and they demand quick action. Luckily, jivo kypo pen can be administered in two simple steps, even by yourself in certain situations. Show those around you where you store GEVO kypo pen and how to use it, they need to know how to use GVO kypo pen before an emergency situation happens. Learn more about why G vo kypo Pen is in Arden's diabetes toolkit at G VOQ, glucagon.com/juicebox, G vo shouldn't be used if you have a tumor in the gland on the top of your kidneys called a pheochromocytoma, or if you have a tumor in your pancreas called an insulin OMA, visit gvoke, glucagon.com/risk, for safety information. Diabetes comes with a lot of things to remember, so it's nice when someone takes something off of your plate. US med has done that for us. It's time for Arden supplies to be refreshed. We get an email rolls up and in your inbox says, Hi, Arden. This is your friendly reorder email from us. Med. You open up the email. It's a big button that says, Click here to reorder, and you're done. Finally, somebody taking away a responsibility instead of adding one us. Med has done that for us, an email arrives. We click on a link, and the next thing you know, your products are at the front door. That simple, us, med.com/juice, box, or call 888-721-1514, I never have to wonder if Arden has enough supplies. I click on one link, I open up a box, I put the stuff in the drawer, and we're done. Us. Med carries everything from insulin pumps and diabetes testing supplies to the latest CGMS like the libre three and the Dexcom g7 they accept Medicare nationwide over 800 private insurers, and all you have to do to get started is called 888-721-1514, or go to my link, us, med.com/juicebox, using that number or my link helps to support the production of the Juicebox podcast.

Amber 26:14
Yes, yes. So my mom had her first pancreas kidney transplant at 33 which is crazy because it's a year younger than me, and she had already had her first, everything was okay for only about six months. After that, it failed. She was right back on insulin and, you know, so on and so forth and through the years, it just progressively got worse. You know, she ended up having a couple open heart surgeries. You know, toes amputated. She had this joke after she got her first toe amputated, we had a we had a nail salon that we would go into, and the first time she was able to go in there again, did she took off her sock, and the guy who normally does her toes was like, Oh my God, what happened? She's like, do I get a, do I get a one toe discount? Like, she'd joke with them,

Scott Benner 26:56
I seriously, you should take the price divided by 10 and then take off just a temp, and then let me have it. I

Amber 27:03
agree. I agree. Yeah. So she, you know, toes amputated at one point. She became paralyzed from the waist down, but just woke up one morning and was paralyzed from the waist down. And she was paralyzed for almost two years. She was in the hospital for the first seven months. They never could really figure out what was going on. And then one day, she was able to wiggle what toes she had left

Scott Benner 27:25
again. What could you keep in the sense of humor alive? Good for you.

Amber 27:28
My motto is, if I don't laugh, I'll cry

Scott Benner 27:33
and make light of it, it just comes back. It just came back. Yeah? One morning, and people were like, Okay, go home. You're all set now, yeah, yeah. It literally almost

Amber 27:42
two years. And she surprised us. She got up out of her wheelchair one day, and we were like, oh my god,

Scott Benner 27:49
like the righteous gemstones. She just stood up. She just stood up. Do you think anybody knows that show? It's on HBO. I really enjoy it. Wow. No kidding, your mom, did she say it's a miracle or anything like that?

Amber 28:04
No, she, I mean, she was, she was really, she was really happy, and she worked really hard once she was once she started getting the feeling back, she went to physical therapy and regained her strength and was able to start walking again. It was never quite the same, but she was able to get up, and it was a huge thing.

Scott Benner 28:19
Your mom was paralyzed in a chair for two years, and then one day during the price is right, she was like, I think I could get up

Amber 28:27
correct. It was probably Gray's Anatomy or something. That was one of her shows. But yeah, she just randomly wiggled her toe. She's like, Oh my god, yeah. They

Scott Benner 28:36
never and nobody bothers to figure out what happened. It's just okay now, no, they,

Amber 28:40
they said it was diabetes related, that all the nerves and everything her her that, listen, that woman is beyond the strongest person I've ever known in my life. She had, she, she probably should have passed a while before, but she, she had such a strong will to live because of me and my kids, that that woman just kept pushing and pushing and pushing. So, yeah, she started to walk again, and she did it.

Scott Benner 29:05
How old was she when she did pass 52 Wow, too young. No, way too young. So, yeah, so she had a transplant that didn't take probably because it was done in a swamp, and then that's just how I imagined it. By the way, in a trailer with a gator outside,

Amber 29:24
we moved to a bigger town by then. Oh, okay.

Scott Benner 29:26
Doctors like, do we have to wash this stuff first? Nah, just shove it in there. Oh my gosh. She gets a transplant at a very young age. It doesn't, it doesn't work for her. It's terrible. And then she's keeping high blood sugars that she thinks are great because they're in range, right? Yep. And it reminds me, too, of a of a conversation I just had to get involved in on Facebook the other day where somebody was talking about how they like to keep their kids blood sugar higher because they feel better when they're higher. And I was like, Oh God, you obviously haven't found the podcast yet. And. So like, you know, I gave them some stuff to listen to. She lives her whole life like that. This is her end. And so what is the impact of that? Growing up like you said, she tried to hide things from you, but obviously, you're smart person. You see what's going on. Like, how do you think that impacted you seeing your mom like that? You

Amber 30:18
know, first I will say my parents did the best they could, right, like we're dealing with, you know, a serious illness. My mom was very sick. My stepdad was, you know, the breadwinner. It was me and two brothers. And, you know, it was a lot, you know, so they did the best they could. But, you know, when I was in high school and wanted to live like the high school life, and there was a lot I got to do, but there was a lot I didn't, because that's when mom, you know, at the time, she was doing at home dialysis. And you know, if I wanted to go out on the weekends with my friends, it was, well, what if something happens to your mom and she dies? You would never forgive yourself, you know. And you know, looking back, that's all, it's a it's a horrible thing to put on a kid like that, you know. But like I said, they did the best they could. They were scared something was going to happen to mom and she wasn't going to make it. And I was to make it, and I was out with my friends. They were thinking that they were helping me, because I would never forgive myself if I was hanging out with friends. And my mom passed away, yeah,

Scott Benner 31:10
and you're at school all week, and so this weekend is the time you can actually stay with her, correct? But

Amber 31:16
me being 14, 1516, you know, years old, I want to, I want to hang with my friends and, you know, so it was a, it was a battle in the home, and it created, that had been said to me a couple times, to where it actually created a fear in me that I was going to lose my mom. So then I created this, you know, I had this huge fear of my mom just passing away. And that really carried on to me, because as the years went by, my mom obviously only got sicker, so I created this huge, like, dependency on my mom. My mom and I were best friends. I did move away to a different town that was a couple hours away, but, you know, I was on the phone with her like all day, every day, because I became so afraid that something was going to happen to her, that I never wanted anything to be left on set, or I never wanted us to not make memories, you know. So, yeah, that definitely carried on to my adult years and into my relationships as a dependency problem. We're still working on it.

Scott Benner 32:11
I'm getting to it like so, yeah, right. So you have enough of a high school life that you're able to find a boy to ruin your life, right? You're able to pick one out that can definitely ruin everything for you. No, yeah, you're able to find him That's great. Yeah, you know the one thing before we get away from your mom, move into your kind of adult life that baffles me, and I'm not asking you like you have the answer to it. But when someone has diabetes and they have so many complications and so many things are going wrong for them, I don't understand how nobody addresses we're not we're not using enough insulin, or this wouldn't be happening, right? You know

Amber 32:54
what the doctors would say? Because my mom also, I mean, gosh, it just ravaged her body, right? She had a couple open heart surgeries, you know, they the doctor said, basically, it was, she was a huge puzzle, and it was, it got to the point where her poor body was just so worn out and just damaged that it was, whatever is the emergency at the moment. Because towards, you know, the last couple years, it was, mom was in the hospital three times a year, and then it became monthly, and then it became weekly. Yeah,

Scott Benner 33:22
no, at the end, sure, but in the crux of her life, her her emergency is she doesn't use enough insulin at the right times and like, and no one does, no one say that to her. Can she just not figure it out? And they're not helping. Do she have that? Like, I have the sugars? This is my lot in life, like this is just how I got the bad diabetes. Is she talking like that? I honestly

Amber 33:46
don't have the answer for that. I really wish I did, and I, you know, I would, I would, I've, I've honestly thought about reaching. She had one doctor for many years, and I've a billion times thought about reaching out to him and just setting up a meeting as me being the patient and going, Hey, dude, what the hell you know,

Scott Benner 34:03
like, a gotcha thing. He's like, so what are you here for? And you're like, you killed my mom, like, that kind of thing. Oh, that'd be fun. Bring a camera. I've really considered it, yeah, because, by the way, when you get arrested, uh, the headlines gonna be Florida, Florida woman, Shanghai's doctor in like, Yeah, and so, and there'll be great video of you ranting and raving as they drag you out the front doors of the place. Go for it, yeah. Okay, all right. So I think we understand her, her situation, and anybody who's known somebody older with diabetes like this is not uncommon. What happened to your mom is just not uncommon. Okay, so then we have to get to the part because a disconnected thought that you're very good at managing your nutrition, but you had, how much weight have you lost? Did you say All in all, 110 pounds. Okay, so first of all, wow, jeez. Good job. You know what I mean. Can I get some context for people? Are you? How tall are you? I am five, three. Okay, wow, yeah, okay, yeah, you're so tall. I mean, am I making a leap here? Your bad upbringing leads you to hooking up with a guy who eventually you realize you shouldn't be with. You got very unhappy, gained a bunch of weight and left him. Eventually, that happened.

Amber 35:16
Oh, 100% okay, well, when I met him, I was very tiny, but he is, excuse me, if I can, if I'm able to, he's half Cuban, half Mexican, and his family cooked the best food ever. Like, okay, oh my god. Suddenly I was having, like, fried steak every day, and rice and beans. And he was like, yeah. Like, he liked his girls a little bit bigger, and he thought I was really skinny. Anyways, so, like, you know, the food started piling in, and I was like, yeah, all for it.

Scott Benner 35:45
Were they fattening you up? Like, a Thanksgiving turkey? Do you think I

Amber 35:50
without getting too far into it? Yes. Like,

Scott Benner 35:54
if we could just get some meat on this, this Caucasian girl, we can let ourselves marry her. Yeah, I

Amber 35:59
was trying to, like, not make any I don't want to upset anybody. But yes, he liked his girls a little bit bigger, and I was really tiny, and they just fattened me up. And that was, it was great. The food was phenomenal. I don't regret that much of it. I regret some of it, but not

Scott Benner 36:13
all of it. And nice family time. And you enjoyed that part because your family was kind of chaotic, and maybe this was better, correct? I gotcha, yeah, yeah, okay, now I know how it happens. I've done this more than once, by the way. I didn't know he was Cuban, Mexican when I asked the question. I just kind of saw where the whole thing, I mean, in fairness to me, I should probably get whatever the like, like Oscar equivalent is for a podcast, because about eight minutes into this, I quickly put together how most of your life probably went. And I was like, Oh, I can go backwards and pick through the reasonings why she ends up. Yeah, it's my only skill. For people listening. Do you think some people are like, God, damn, is that? What just happened? Is that what I've been listening to, Amber just has a trajectory that is common, that's all you know, and basic, well, not basic, but I think, I think the problem lies. The way I get through things is I reverse engineer them. So I look at where I am and to get out of where I am, I think about how I got there. I just, I do that with everything, yeah? And then once you learn how to do that, you recognize that you can move forward into time, decide where you want to be, and then tell the story that leads to that. And then you can do those things and actually end up there. That's pretty good. Yeah, no, I've been doing that for a while. Like, so you now, most people would say, like, you just, you imagine where you want to be or something like that. But, and you know, your, then your, your actions follow. I take it a little farther. I've heard so many stories and like, what was the story that led the person to this? What? What were the big pieces that got them there. And then you can kind of mimic that in your own life. And you mimic it by when you make decisions. You decide, you know, left or right, or you know, yes or no, and you know, do I do this? Do I eat this? Do I buy that? And what gets me to where I want to go? Not buying that gets me to where I want to go, you know, not eating that puts me where I want to be, like that kind of stuff. And I find it works incredibly well. But then you can use that skill to diagnose people's lives too. And people will call that generalizing, but anybody who's hearing this and thinks, oh, he's just generalizing. I mean, I did get Amber's thing, like, 100% right? So, yeah. So you call it what you want. I call it storytelling in reverse. Okay, so you meet this guy, you gain some weight, have a couple babies gain more weight, yes, yes. And then he leaves you. You leave him,

Amber 38:55
No, we moved. We moved to a different town, and then that's when everything changed, which honestly, probably saved my life. I was pretty unhappy at that point, and everything was very stagnant, and we moved to this new town, and I, you know, joined a CrossFit here, and gained a new community, and I actually joined an Olympic lifting team, which was, you know, comprised of mostly women. So then I had that, that women's support, and it completely changed my life, you know. And I just started eating better and getting in shape and feeling better about myself. What were you unhappy about? You know, him, and I met when I was 1920, years old. And through your 20s, it's a big time of growth, you know. And we just kind of, you know, grew apart, and he was very traditional in the sense of, you know, dinner needs to be on the table every single night at this time, when I walk through the door and you take care of the kids and you take care of the house, but what he didn't realize is that I also work a full time job. I also do this, and now I'm trying to work out to lose weight, and like, you can pull some of the weight in the house too. And that was the biggest issue. Is, you know, all the fights really started because that dinner was not on that table at six o'clock when he walked in the door, because I was at the gym, you know, after I'd gotten off work and picked up the kids, that

Scott Benner 40:10
man threw his life away for a warm meal, correct? Yeah, he didn't have to warm up.

Amber 40:16
How about that? And it sounds, it sounds like it's very simple, and like no way, but yes way, I promise you.

Scott Benner 40:21
And do you think also you trying to get into shape? He thought you were going to leave him and maybe he was mad at you working out.

Amber 40:28
Well, it's fun. No, it's funny, because once I started losing weight, he told me that I was going to look like a man and that he wanted me to stop because he liked me heavy, but I wasn't healthy. I wasn't healthy and I wasn't happy, and this was something I was doing for myself. And he didn't want that. He wanted his women thicker. And, you know,

Scott Benner 40:46
I have to tell you something. I'm gonna go down this road with you for a minute, because I'm fascinated by this. So I understand if somebody has a pro what's the word I want? Proclivity, yeah, preference. That would have been good, too, a body style, right? Like, I understand that. Like, you look at something you're like, that's attractive to me and that's less attractive to me, like, I get that like everybody has things they're attracted to. But I don't understand how you say to somebody, I love you, but only if you look like this. That always flips me out. I can't imagine she's gonna hear this one day, it's okay. I can't imagine what would happen to my wife, where I would stop loving her because of how she appeared. Like, that's interesting to me. Like, if she lost every you know, ounce of fat on her body, and she was super thin, and I was like, I don't really love this. I don't think I'd have that thought even, like, I've never changed how I felt about my wife as she's aged. It's so weird to me to have such a desire around that specific thing that you'd blow your life up over it. It doesn't make any sense to me at all.

Amber 41:52
I think that it's not. It sounds superficial. And I feel like, if you have that really deep love, that it shouldn't there. You know, there's going to be times where you look at your partner and you're like, that's not as attractive. Like my boyfriend, he's growing out of mullet. I know you're going to love that because I'm Florida, of small town, and now I'm talking about a mullet. He's going out of mullet. His last hair cut that he got, his hair was a little bit shorter on the top, and I'm not the biggest fan of it, but I'm not going to stop loving him. Or, you know, he's lost some weight because he's doing a certain type of training. I don't love him any less. I think that's insane. Yeah,

Scott Benner 42:23
it really does sound insane to me, but I think a lot of people feel that way. You know what I mean? Like you're how you look is part of what I think about you. I

Amber 42:32
think that these days, with the social media, I will preach that until I'm in my grave. The social media, it has such a big impact. And I think the problem is, is that we're looking at people all day online, and we're comparing and it's easy to distract yourself in that way, to where you're suddenly any little change in your partner, or at any time, you could just be like, That's not as attractive. Because what I'm seeing online is, I think it's done something to people's brains.

Scott Benner 42:58
I'm telling you that whole part of your story that's to me, the this is the the family putting weight on you on purpose, and it being so important to him that he was willing to be like, I'm not interested in this. If dinner is not available and you're not chubby, you know what I mean? I guess we call it thick, right? And thick. Like, I'm, like, is it more polite to say thick? I don't know. Like, so, like, I don't get that, like, I just, it's, I think that's the craziest part of your story so far. Really, yeah, to me, to me, it really is, like, it's just, I don't know. I really, I don't know how to explain that. I guess I like thick women too, but I can't imagine that would

Amber 43:37
I just don't be a deal breaker, especially if you're in love with someone and love someone, it's crazy. I

Scott Benner 43:42
love you, and we have children, but not if you lose 40 pounds. If you were to lose 40 pounds, I don't see how I could love you or these kids anymore. Want to stay here, especially if there's not going to be hot beans when I get home,

Amber 43:52
correct? Yeah, put it in the pot. We're good. But you know that's and honestly, you know all of that was, you know, the best thing that ever happened to me. I'm very happy. You know, I have beautiful children, and, you know, we still co parent very well, but us splitting up, I honestly felt like my life was over when I was with him towards the end. I just I wasn't happy, and so it was the best thing that happened to both of us, and we both live happy, separate lives now. So it's fantastic. It worked out great. Is

Scott Benner 44:19
he with a big girl,

Amber 44:22
she's probably, yeah, a little bit. She goes for the bigger women. Yeah,

Scott Benner 44:28
I'm okay with that. I'm asking. I don't want you to be in a situation where he, like, went and met a girl it was like, five, 410, pounds. He's like, actually, I really love this thin girl, like, like, because that would be hurtful. Do you know what I mean? Yeah,

Amber 44:41
it wouldn't bother me either way at this point, maybe a couple years ago, but not anymore.

Scott Benner 44:46
I need the context. I'm so sorry. I know when you talk about weight, sometimes it makes people upset, but this is context. I don't mean you. I mean the people listening. You're cool, I can tell. But contextually for the story, I think it's important before you meet mama, feed. Me, you're five, three, and you weigh, how much it was, about 115 pounds. Okay? And then once you get married, what weight are you married at 220, get out of here, really? You you doubled your body weight.

Amber 45:14
I gained 60 pounds the first year we were together, fried

Scott Benner 45:18
steak, huh? I just deep fry steak. And that's what happens. I put what I rice and beans and steak and

Amber 45:24
plantains. It was really good food. And So

Scott Benner 45:27
walk me through that a little bit like, because I'm gonna guess right in the beginning, you get jiggle your thighs and hips, maybe your boobs get a little bigger, or something like, they get a little round belly and everything. It's cute and all like, like, that whole thing. And you're you're liking it for a while, or are you immediately, like, what is happening to me? At first,

Amber 45:45
I was like, this is this is a little much. And then I kind of just forgot about it. The thing was, was that I was so consumed in my relationship, and so just like, 100% in there with him, that I kind of forgot about myself and I wasn't looking at myself.

Scott Benner 46:03
You turned into like a doll that he enjoyed, and you knew he liked the way billion

Amber 46:07
percent. I always used to say, I feel invisible. I feel like I'm not even here. And it's sad, but it's the truth. So, yeah, I didn't even notice all the weight I was gaining because I wasn't paying attention, right?

Scott Benner 46:17
So now, in fairness, is that his fault, or is it a thing that felt good to you because you you're loved and, like, there's, you're getting all this acceptance and everything. Yeah, it

Amber 46:29
felt good to be loved. And yeah,

Scott Benner 46:31
100% okay, all right, wow. You shocked me by the doubling of the weight, though, that's, that's, like, an accomplishment, like, meaning you can't, like, you can't do that by mistake. You know what? I mean,

Amber 46:45
I loved the I'm telling you, it was such good

Scott Benner 46:49
food. It really was the food. It just got you, like, you didn't get the body part, you didn't like it was cool that he liked it, but you were, you just really enjoyed the eating.

Amber 46:58
Yeah, oh, I couldn't stop. I had, I had zero self control. No kidding,

Scott Benner 47:02
and okay, and is that? But that's back now, because when you listen my opinion, you guys didn't just get divorced because of the dinner thing, like you were already unhappy. Like this goes all the way back to the first minute you met him like you you would run your course. I think that's the bravest thing that people will take out of this is that you, you got out of this pretty quickly, you know what I mean, and most people would have hung longer. But why is that? What about your personality? Let you go? You know what? I don't care. Like I'm not doing this anymore.

Amber 47:35
That's interesting. I it's it's funny because I, I allowed things to go on for so long. And then one day, I just woke up and I said, Hey, this sucks. You know, I've wait not wasted. You know, no time is wasted, but I've spent majority of my 20s very unhappy. And I, you know, I just, I kept saying to myself, I only have one life. I only have one life. He's not the one going in the grave when I die. I am I'm too young for this. I'm miserable. This is crazy, you know? And I kept telling myself, until one day I woke up and it was like, it was like, my like, how people do affirmations, my like, daily affirmations, where Amber stopped living like this, stop. This is crazy. And then one day I just woke up and I said, Hey, Amber, you're right. This is crazy. Let's get out of here. You're

Scott Benner 48:24
able to make that decision to leave because he's more concerned with his needs and how you physically look than he is with your happiness or your health, correct,

Amber 48:34
right? Yeah, he started to make it easier and easier, you know?

Scott Benner 48:38
Yeah, I understand. It was that cultural on his part. Do you think in some ways it was Yes,

Amber 48:43
yep, okay, you're

Scott Benner 48:45
not a person. That's

Amber 48:45
a good word. Yeah, I was trying to figure it out. But yeah, yeah, you're not a

Scott Benner 48:49
person. You're You're the ladies butt jiggles the way I want it to who brings me dinner? Correct? Yeah, yep. And you can I? Can I ask an uncomfortable question? Go ahead. I can't believe this is what I think is an uncomfortable question after all the rest of it. But really, I should have asked you that before every question I've asked you for the last 20 minutes, but are you having sex with him right up till the end,

Amber 49:12
probably until about six months before? But even then, it was like once, like we would, I remember one time we went, like, four or five months, like, and that's, and that's what was so upsetting, was that through my 20s, I'm literally having sex once, this once every six months. Like, it's, I was like, This is crazy.

Scott Benner 49:31
Like, so whose decision is that to only do with that infrequently? His, yeah,

Amber 49:37
his, he, uh, yeah. I mean, I could, I could go deep into that, him telling me that I was, they got to the point where he told me I was too fat, but then when I lose weight, I was, he didn't want me to lose weight, but I, you know, I couldn't do this because I was too fat, and I couldn't do this because it wasn't attractive, and, you know, it was non stop no matter what it was, some sort of comment, you know. So even it just, it just couldn't happen. Holy Christ,

Scott Benner 50:01
it was a lot. That's fickle. Yes, yeah, I hate double your body weight for me. Oh, too far. What? Yeah, don't lose weight. You look masculine. What? Like? That's how it went, Yeah,

Amber 50:12
even to this day. You know, we've been separated five years now, and I remember last year he made a comics, I've lost all this weight, and he told me how small my butt was. And I was like, Hey, this isn't your ass. Walk away. It's not your ass. Dude.

Scott Benner 50:26
Can I call this episode not your ass? That's fantastic. Well, how long you've been apart when he he felt comfortable commenting that your ass got smaller,

Amber 50:36
that was at four years. But it's been, you know, all through he's made comments just because he feels like he can.

Scott Benner 50:43
And you take that because you're co parenting, yeah,

Amber 50:46
I mean, it's not, it's not too often to where it's too big, given an issue. And then, you know, if he tells me a comment about myself, I tell him there's no reason his boobs should be bigger than mine. So I just kind of get him back and walk on he's very insecure about that. So that's I hit him where it hurts on that. I gotta

Scott Benner 51:01
be honest with you, if I told a lady everything about me for a certain amount of time, I'd be very nice to her for the rest of the time, because I'd be like, she definitely knows how to make me upset. Yeah. Well, that's fascinating. Like, I don't, geez, and you're characterizing this as we co parent, well together.

Amber 51:16
Well, that's, you know, for the most part, we co parent. Well, once in a while, he'll make a comment, and I just kind of, I'm a very passive kind of person. We, as far as the kids go, we do fantastic. You know, it's not, it's not near what it you know, we do. We do good. There's just that once in a while comment where I just kind of have to dig back into them, and then we go on with our life, you know,

Scott Benner 51:36
how are the kids doing with, like, their body structure?

Amber 51:39
What do you mean? I

Scott Benner 51:40
mean, are you feeding them differently than he would have, or is is he? Are the kids going from like, some like, really well controlled, thoughtful nutrition, to like, fried steak? Are they? Are they able to, like, How's their weight? I guess I'm asking, yes,

Amber 51:53
their weight is good. He doesn't even cook. So you know, my son, he just turned eight, he gets upset and says stuff to me often, because 90, I would say, 98% of the meals going into our bodies when they're with me, I cook. I home. Cook everything, right? But the dad doesn't cook. He takes them out to eat. So I get the comments once in a while. Well, how come Dad always takes me out to eat, and you never do and I want to go here and I say, because I feed you healthier, and I've had conversations with him because, you know, now you're going with my mom being a type one diabetic. I'm a type one diabetic. I have many, many autoimmune diseases in my family, and food is very important when it comes to that kind of stuff. So I've had conversations trying to get him to feed them, right? And it just, it falls short every time, and I just do the best I can. Isn't

Scott Benner 52:44
it weird too, that all of this turmoil in two people's lives around food, and he's not concerned with putting that on the kids I know. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you would think you'd step back and go, you know, I'm unhealthy, you know, my desires put all that weight on her and and it caused all this problem. Like, does he? Does he know that's why you're divorced? That's a good question. Or does he just think you got like, Cranky one day and left him think, you know what I mean? Like, poor women, women have, like, listen, everybody gets it from one way or another, but the way women get it is just terrible. Does he just think she got bitchy and I'm not married anymore? Does she realize this whole, like, this story we've laid out? Does he know all this happened?

Amber 53:30
I've had conversations with him, and even when we were together, like I used to, you know, I'm really, really big on open communication, and let's, like, work through things. And, you know, through the years, I would say, hey, like this is where we're at. You know, what can I do to help this situation? You know, from my end, here's what you can do. And I always tried to talk things through. But his, his core belief was that we are together, and that's it, you know. And to where my belief is. As the years go by, people change, they grow, and you your relationship is something you always have to nurture, and that's something I tried to do while with him. So yes, after, even afterwards, you know, we would have conversations of trying to navigate through a relationship, of where it went wrong, and it always came out as, you know, I just up and left because I couldn't do it anymore, and it was like, Dude, I cried to you for two years. Hey, we need to fix this. We need therapy. We need this. You know, let's, let's try something. And it was no so, you know, from his end, it's just, I up and left one day. But that's, it's not even close to the truth, but so interesting.

Scott Benner 54:31
That's, you're so nice to share all this. Thank you. And it's, it's very, very interesting. And I do mean nice, like, because you think you're the only, you don't think you're the only one with this story. Do you know you don't mean, like the manipulation based on your weight. I think young kids would call that gas lighting, but I dislike that word, so I won't be using it all the words these days, too many words. But I mean he, he pushed you in a direction and then said, you know, then the romantic love part. Goes away one way or the other, and it's, Oh, you're too heavy now. Or, like, you know, I mean, because that that's not, by the way, that wasn't the case. Like, how, like, what was your heaviest weight? 220,

Amber 55:09
last time I went on the scale? Okay, so

Scott Benner 55:11
you doubled up, and that was your highest weight? Yeah, yeah. So how could he say because that was because, if that happened in the first year of your relationship, how could he say to you, then you're too heavy now, like, I'm the same heavy I was prior, correct? Like, so go. I'm gonna have to do an episode with Eric about it. There's an actual thing that happens, like, when romantic love happens, it's like a brain chemistry thing, like a hormonal response. Like, there's a whole like, psychological process that happens in there, and then eventually it like it actually does burn away, like, like it changes. So that part changes for him, and then he blames you, like, I don't feel this way about you anymore. It must be because you're something it's because you don't bring me dinner, or it's because you look differently than I wanted you to. Man, I gotta tell you what. I have never been in control of a situation off where I could tell somebody how to look it sounds like it must be just a powerless situation, like, I just like, seriously, like, and you were so young, and your life wasn't great growing up and you Yeah, and you took it and you would never take that again. Now, is that right? No, no, no, yeah, you learned a hell of a lesson

Amber 56:20
I did. I did learn a lot, yeah, so, Jesus.

Scott Benner 56:24
Okay, all right, so I forgot you have diabetes. And then, so, like, a couple of so then you get, you get COVID. Before COVID, the thing, you're a trendsetter. And then you get type one. And how does that present?

Amber 56:38
Yeah, I started. So my mom passed away in August, and then, you know, obviously I'm extremely depressed in that time, I will tell you. But okay, in that time, I was actually in another I was in a bad relationship, but I was just in the beginning. I was, I was in the beginning of a bad relationship. I was only like four or five, six months in. My mom passes away, then my aunt, who is like my second mother, has a heart attack and passes away a couple months later. So I am absolutely struggling. I'm working like 70 hours a week. I'm trying to deal with their deaths. I have, you know, a bad relationship that I'm in, that COVID kind of put us in together, and we were struggling, and then I was just getting sicker and sicker and sicker, but I was blaming it on I couldn't understand what was going on. You know, obviously the clear signs I was drinking a ton of water. I had to have freezing cold water with me at all times, and chewing on ice, and I just nauseous all the time, and I was lethargic, but I thought it was because I was working 70 hours a week, and I was super depressed. And, you know, I finally went into the doctor and I said, Hey, I can't so they took my sugar I was at about six, I was around 600 and they said, go ahead and go to the hospital. And they put me in ICU, and then I was in there for a week, and they did all the testing, the C peptides and all that, and then they diagnosed me as a type one about that.

Scott Benner 58:04
Jeez. Wow, that was quick. I don't want to go backwards, because I felt like we were done with this. But when you picked up the second bad relationship, there were the same things happening, no, just different, different bad things.

Amber 58:17
Yeah, yeah, he was, he was in recovery, and I didn't know that at the time. Can I say the word he was a in recovery for heroin. Okay? I had no idea. And then when COVID happened, I met him right when COVID happened, and, like, a month later, everything shut down. So then he started, like, hanging out my house every day. And eventually it just turned into, well, you're here. You might as well move in. And I didn't find out until 456, months in, he finally had told me, and then I started finding things. He was drinking really heavy, and, you know, doing like, I don't know if you ever heard of like, kratom and all that kind of stuff. So he started using different things again. And then it got really bad, and it took me a while to be able to get out of it.

Scott Benner 58:57
Wait a minute, because you moved in, he had you because you were in no he moved into my house. Oh, my God, never What are you doing? Listen to me. Girl. I know everyone. Hold on a second. Do we need to do a first of all, kratom, I didn't know, a tropical evergreen tree in the coffee family, native to Southeast Asia, is indigenous to Cambodia, been used as our herbal medicine. Like I can get high with that. Wait, you

Amber 59:22
can, you can? It has heroin like effects, and it's and it's legal. Oh,

Scott Benner 59:27
okay, all right, hold on a second. Okay, listen. All right. Here's my message to the women out there. First of all, if you hear the word kratom run, okay, yes, and and everything else, heroin. I just want you to be heavier. I need you to look like this. You know, will you play, will you play PlayStation with me for 12 hours? I don't care. Like, listen, I don't want to out a whole, a whole group of people. Boys are we're dangerous, okay? Like, that's the first thing. Like, and they, Oh, my God. Like. Your girls have got to be careful. Okay? Like, yeah, it's not good. Okay? It used to just be. The boys were just driven by sex. At least you could tell the ones who just wanted to be with you for sex. Now, there's so much happening. Like, it's fascinating. He doesn't leave his house. He doesn't do this. He can't go outside. He's got, you know, he's he gets uncomfortable around like, I don't know what to do. You go into the middle of the country to try to find like, a corn fed boy who's not scared of anything and he's doing meth. Correct? Correct. I mean, what are you looking at? What's the secret tell the girls? Have you met a nice boy yet?

Amber 1:00:36
I have. I've been in a relationship for a year now. He is a godsend. Describe

Scott Benner 1:00:42
him just with adjectives. Now forget him from it. Just describe him with adjectives. Is he quiet? No, no,

Amber 1:00:49
he is goofy, respectful. I always get this wrong, chival shift, chivalrous,

Scott Benner 1:00:55
chivalrous, yeah, it's that yeah with a visual chivalrous, say it, go, let it roll out. Yeah,

Amber 1:01:04
kind considerate. I could, I could. Probably, does

Scott Benner 1:01:09
he drink? Probably, is he a drinker? No, no. Is he get high all the time? No. Smoke weed once in a while. Uh, he used to, nope, not, but not now. Okay, I see, is he what they call mature? Yes, this is the word you're looking for girls when you're out there thinking of giving your flower away, what you're looking for is a mature person. Otherwise, do not start making babies with dopey guys. Okay? Like, because they're not going to be mature enough to be good fathers and husbands and stuff like that. You got to let them get listen. You can be with them while they're goofy and everything, but like, they got to be mature before you make a baby. That's all. These are my these are my bits of advice. I don't know how to explain it, especially 1817, 1819, 20 into the mid guys are just trying to get laid. Like, correct, yeah, yeah. Please, be careful. Be careful. Don't make a baby with dopey boys, please. Yeah, this is all and if you've already made a baby with a dopey boy, you got to fix him. And it's not that hard. Even we're very malleable. What your life's been a Is it better now?

Amber 1:02:20
It is now, yeah, I went, I went through a lot, and I've gone through a lot in my life. And I'm proud to say that, you know, my life is pretty ordinary now. It's really leveled out. I'm in a phenomenal relationship, you know, I have both my kids here with me, and have a great job. And, you know, I label it as living a mild life, and I'm okay with it. I

Scott Benner 1:02:40
love it. When you were younger. Do you think you were trying to live an exciting life

Amber 1:02:43
when I was a teenager, I was definitely one of the wild ones. But I think I was rebelling from being held down a lot. And, you know,

Scott Benner 1:02:51
you said something earlier about like, living that high school life, and I thought that's a thing I did not care for, that I was not a thing I was looking for when I was younger.

Amber 1:02:59
Oh yeah, I did it. You know, for the most part, I had a pretty, you know, good high school experience. And you know, my daughter, she's turning 15 next month, and she's right on in there, wanting to live that high school experience. And so it's, you know, it's up to me to really try and guide her, yeah, so we're trying. I just went school after.

Scott Benner 1:03:16
I just wanted to get the hell out of there. I wasn't looking to hang around have an experience with anybody. Use the word mild, yes, I have to tell you, I think that might be the key. Seriously, like mature boys, mature boys and a normal life, and not to look at it as a boring thing, yes, right? Yes, yes, yeah, because you're surrounded by people you love, and you're working for them, and they're working for you, and that you love them they like people. Don't know this, but I asked you to switch rooms before we recorded, and you walked into a room and just kind of surprised your son. He looked up at you, and he was like, he told you he loves you, like, it's like, the first thing he said to you when you went walked into the room, yeah. What market you want? That's my point. You don't need crate. Is it kratom with a K? You don't, yes. You don't need kratom. If, if an eight year old boy looks at you and the first thought in his mind is, I love you, mom. Like, there, that's good. Like, what do people think life is?

Amber 1:04:17
Yeah, you know, to go back to the point that I made earlier. You know with social media is that everyone thinks these people live these such lavish lives, and then they want to aspire to do that. But if you really slow down and count all the small things that add up into a nice, calm, loving life, you want people around you that love you and you love them unconditionally. You know you want to, you know, have yourself a decent job so that you can have you don't need this lavish home, this huge, you know, I live in a small, little house, but we're happy. It's cozy. And it's the small things. I have a loving boyfriend, my cat. I'm literally cat lady. They won't leave me alone. Get you a loving animal. And it's the small things. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:05:00
I'm telling you, I watched, you know who Mr. Beast is?

Amber 1:05:03
Oh, my son. My son keeps talking about, okay,

Scott Benner 1:05:07
well, listen, this, this, he must only be like, 26 years old, right? Okay, he starts, he starts a YouTube channel when he's a kid. I think 13. I think I've watched a documentary about him. He builds it to this massive thing, right? And he learns along the way, he doesn't seem to be driven by the money. So if he made money on his video, he'd put the money he made on the video into the next video. And he started getting more and more popular to the point where, like, his videos are like, these 20 minute productions that look like, you know, they were put on by Paramount Pictures at this point. And, you know, any and it's fun stuff, but it makes a bunch of money. And then he branched out and started doing like he has, like a channel where he does philanthropic things. Well, a week or two ago, his latest philanthropic video popped up in front of me, and he basically just went to three different countries and built 100 houses in each one of the countries. Oh, my goodness. And these houses are by American standards. They're not much bigger than something that a wealthy white person would keep their lawn mower in, okay, but like, but it's still, you know, 25 by 25 and, you know, has a pitched roof and heating and water and like, all this stuff, right? So he's going to these places where people are living under tarps in some situations, right? And he puts up these solid homes that are raised up off the ground, have water, electricity, you know, with a, with a like a, what's that called panel? Why can't I think of simple words, solar panel, Jesus Christ, a solar panel, right? He takes the people away and brings them back a couple days later, because these houses don't take long for the crews to put up. And they come they they're told they win, like a trip or something, and when they come back, there's a brand new house on their property. And these people's responses, I almost cried through a whole goddamn video, like because it felt they had a look on their face that said you'd have to give an American kid $900 million to make them look like that, right? And, and one of the kids was like, Is this bed for me? That's all she said. And I was like, Oh. Like, I was like, Oh, my God. Look, she's over. She's over. Like, the father was like, Thank you. The mother's like, I can cook here. Like, you know, like, it all, just like, and then at the end, he heard that this, this one guy lost his transportation, so we got him a like a motorcycle, like a dirt bike, and the guy, like a grown man, hugged him, like he saved a parent. And he goes, You don't know how this changes my life. And so the Mr. Beast guy goes, Wait, this motorcycle is gonna he doesn't know. He's like, 26 he goes, he's like, this is gonna change your life. And he wouldn't bought a motorcycle for everybody in the town. Oh my goodness, right? And I'm like, Oh my God. Like these people, they have so little. They understand what you're trying to explain to people who feel like there's so much to have, that everything they don't have is a failure. Like, I'm not driving a Lamborghini, like the guy on YouTube. I'm a failure. I don't have this chain. I'm a failure on these shoes. I'm a failure. I didn't go to this college. I'm a failure. I don't make I mean, do you know how much money people want to make coming out of college. Now, kids come out of college, they expect to be making $150,000 a year. Like, and when they and when it doesn't go that way, they're like, I haven't taken this job. Like, wait, what? $20 means nothing to people at this point. I'm still freaked out by that. Like, I, I know that. Like, like, I get that you walk into a convenience store and a soda is three bucks and a sandwich is $10 and $20 just seems like a sandwich and a soda, but, yeah, it's a lot of money. It's hard to make $20 you know, you know, yeah, it's

Amber 1:08:54
scary, yeah.

Scott Benner 1:08:55
I heard somebody recently say, I don't know if I want to get that. It's like, a they raised the price by $20,000 and I was like, Well, no, you obviously don't want that thing anymore. Like, like, What are you talking about? And they're like, Well, yeah, when I when I first looked at it, it was this much and announced $20,000 more. I'm like, Could you afford it the first time? And they're like, no, but, but, but. And I'm like, there's a button here. Like, what's the butt? Exactly like you couldn't afford it. Now it's 20 grand more. Now you're still thinking of a way to try to do it, like you can't afford that, and why? Why would you want to put yourself in that bad situation? And I don't know, I think you're right. I think, as crazy as it sounds, because I'm old, it started when we started telling people how much athletes made. That was a big mistake. In the 80s, yes, that guy makes a million. Because back then it was a million dollars. My God, that makes a guy makes a million dollars a year. And then you're like, and then people started being like, he doesn't deserve a million dollars a year. And then some people said, Well, yes, he does. He brings in ticket sales. He does. Deserve a piece of that. And then that whole conversation starts happening, except people get confused that they are living that life, and you're not living that life like you don't get a piece of the pie when you go to work, you get a salary. And you know, maybe that's right, maybe that's wrong, but you're not changing it. And then all of a sudden, you're like, this job sucks. I'm not going to be wealthy one day. Yeah, yeah, either. Most everybody like, interesting, yeah. And you see that, you see how it's hurting people. Oh, 100%

Amber 1:10:33
you know. And I, and it's scary for our kids that we're raising and being around this kind of mindset. And, you know, I try to, you know, with my kids, it's making sure that they understand that you don't need everything in the world to be happy. You need, you know, you need to be with your loved ones. And you know, it's the small stuff that counts, you know. So I try and work on that with them, because I don't want them to grow up and be those kind of kids that always feel like a failure because they're not right out of college making $150,000 a year, you know, yeah, right?

Scott Benner 1:11:01
Or like, have these crazy hobbies or things that like everything, everything looks like a YouTube video. Like every moment of your life needs to look like a YouTube video. And I don't mean for other people even. I mean for you to think it's valuable, yeah, that's sad. Okay, all right. Well, what are we going to do? Should we all just jump in the river?

Amber 1:11:23
Should we just give out in the Florida River? Yes, you want to get bit by a gator and

Scott Benner 1:11:27
then surrounded by a boat instructor that will eventually swallow me days later?

Amber 1:11:32
Yeah, go into the Everglades. That can certainly happen. Oh

Scott Benner 1:11:34
my God, I don't understand why you people like I don't understand why anybody lives there. But okay, although I've seen videos, and people look very happy. So it's pretty hot. It's pretty I can't it's so it's summer right now, 2024 in case you're anybody's listening to this later. And I know it's become unfashionable to say, like, I think there's global warming, but it's, like, really hot. Like, yes,

Amber 1:11:59
every year it gets hotter. And I say it wasn't as hot last year as it is this year. I feel like I say that every year. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:12:05
I don't know that. Listen, I can't tell you if it's cyclical or anything. I don't know the details about it, but I don't think we should be arguing that it's hot because it's like, what's it like? Over 100 degrees in the in the upper Northwest last this week. And that's not normal, right?

Amber 1:12:21
Now. We have a What time is it? It's 10 o'clock right now, and we have a it feels like 95 and it's 10 o'clock in the morning. We haven't even hit one o'clock yet. Yeah, it's nine. It feels like 95 out here. I'm like, what

Scott Benner 1:12:34
my son went to play basketball last night. And I was like, you have enough to drink? He's like, 24 like, and he's living here again for a little bit while. He's teaching himself some stuff, because I'm glad he works out, and he uses basketball to work out and everything. I'm like, But yo, you got enough, like, liquid with you? And he's like, Yeah, I'm good. And he like, showed me, he really did. But he was leaving the house at like, six o'clock at night. It was still in the mid it was in the mid 90s, and the humidity was 50% and he got home, I know you're laughing because you're in Florida, the humidity is 100% but, but he got home and he's drenched, and he's like, Listen. He's like, I gotta get in the shower. He's like, but I said, How come you played tonight? He goes, because the humidity is supposed to be 75% tomorrow. He's like, this was like, my one chance to work out this week, like, running. He's like, because it's going to get worse and worse this week. And I'm like, oh my god, yeah. Anyway, I don't know how we got down this road. You, this is great. You gave a great interview. You're fantastic.

Amber 1:13:30
Thank you.

Scott Benner 1:13:31
I really like, Yeah, I like you a lot. Yeah, that's why I was upset when you said you were born the year I graduated. I was like, I was like, I could, I could, really, I could get rid of my wife and get a lovely girl with two Cuban, Mexican, Caucasian children. We could have a nice life together down in the swamp. Well, yeah. Plus, although I could, I could, let me say this, this is no disrespect to anybody, but if I moved to Florida, I could keep my chameleon outside most of the year you could, yeah, you could. That's attractive idea to me. You could. But seriously, like, I not flirting with you because some creepy person is going to be like, Oh, at the end, he flirted with her. I wasn't flirting with her. I was trying to point out that she's, you're really lovely.

Amber 1:14:18
Thank you. I

Scott Benner 1:14:19
appreciate it. No, no, you're enjoyable to talk to, and you're smart, and you see the world. And you took control for yourself. You made it through a bad thing, and you came out the other side a couple of times. You could easily be running around trying to figure out what Kratom is for yourself, but you're not. And what a ridiculous word, by the way. Yeah,

Amber 1:14:39
I know. I use, I use working out as my therapy. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:14:43
good for you. Yeah, really, fantastic. Well, I don't know. I just want to thank you and ask if there's anything you that I didn't ask you that I should have.

Amber 1:14:52
No, I this was wonderful. I was super nervous to come on here today, so I appreciate you having me and making me comfortable. I feel like we had a fantastic conversation.

Scott Benner 1:14:59
Oh. Excellent. That's my goal. Also, I feel bad because if you were already nervous as soon as you got on, I was like, Oh, do you not have a headset? And you're like, wait, I'm sorry. And I'm like, wait, don't start. It's okay. Hold on. I

Amber 1:15:10
was going into full panic.

Scott Benner 1:15:11
I know you were. I'm like, no, calm down. Like I was like, I said, stop. Do two things for me. First of all, chill out. This happens a lot. We're gonna work it out. I don't want you to worry about it. I can hear when people start, like, scampering around the room, like slow down. It's okay, by the way, for everyone else who's listening, and I'm assuming Amber doesn't know this too, when you sign up to be on the podcast, there's a paragraph you should read it. It tells you you need a headset with a microphone.

Amber 1:15:40
Yes, there is, and I did read it technically back when I booked this and I was the last couple days, I had actually been looking for that paragraph, and I couldn't find it. So I was like, I feel like it said I needed these headphones, but I couldn't find it. Can

Scott Benner 1:15:53
I ask you one last question before I let you go, sure your physical appearance is completely different than it was before now, right? Yes, absolutely. How does it make you feel? Are you happier about the health aspects, about the strength, about the vitality part? Do you care about how you look like? What's the real human feeling about having lost weight?

Amber 1:16:16
What I will say about losing weight is that a lot of you know, especially women, feel like, when they lose weight, that they'll feel better about yourselves, and to an extent you will. But the thing that doesn't lose weight and the still, the thing that still needs work, that people don't understand, is your brain is still the same. You may like the way you look, but you still are going to need to do the inner work, because you could be a skinny, in shape person. Whatever was bothering you before mentally is still going to be there. I love my body. I am in the best I'm 34 I'm in the best shape I've ever been in. My muscles are ridiculous because of, you know, losing weight and everything, and working out all the time and eating healthy, my blood sugars are much better, which obviously also equates to less stress. So all around in that aspect, I'm healthy and happy, but your brain is still something you will have to work on extra, you know, as well as actually working out. If that makes sense, yeah,

Scott Benner 1:17:11
and you are at this point, you're pointing your internal turmoil at working out instead of food. Is that right? Correct? Okay, absolutely.

Amber 1:17:19
Yeah, it takes a while to build a healthy relationship with food, because we, we use food for emotion. We were raised on that birthday cake on your birthdays and celebrations, and food, food for parties. And, yeah, you know, we're raised on that, so you have to really make that disconnect, and that takes a lot of time and a lot of effort. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:17:38
I haven't, so I asked you because I do a diary. I don't know if you've heard it or not, but like, I'm using a GLP, and I've lost like, 47 pounds the last like year and a half, right? Thank you. And I make a diary every time I shoot the GLP, I sit down and talk for a couple of minutes before I shoot it, and it's just like, stream of consciousness about what happened that week, trying to lose weight, or, like, something I learned, or whatever. Really don't want to use the word journey, but something I use I've learned, like, during the journey, I got this very passionate kind email from a person who basically told me I can't talk about my weight loss like this, because there are some people who have eating disorders and, and I'm like, Look, I don't want you to feel bad, and, and, but I mean, if I just tried to put myself, I tried to remove myself for a second, and the first thing I thought was if I had an eating disorder when I listened to a podcast that said, GLP, weight loss diary, like, I feel like, I feel like I would be like, that's probably not good for me to listen to now, but, but okay, like, you know, I think I understood the person's perspective, but I wish they understood mine, which is, I'm literally just telling you how I feel correct if I parse every word I spoke about so that I made sure that no one eating disorder to any other, you know, impact that somebody's had in their life, if I parse every one of My words so that I don't make anyone potentially upset. What you're gonna get is, Hey, welcome to the Juicebox podcast. A couple of ads, I'm gonna say some banal crap about diabetes for five minutes, and the podcast is gonna be over it, and you never hear Amber's story correct, because I didn't say anything to you today that you were like, oh my god, I can't believe he said that. Correct. Like, as a matter of fact, the way I categorized you, you most of the time, were like, yeah, that is exactly what's happening, right, right? I get that that could be difficult for someone to listen to, but it doesn't make it a thing. You can't say. It's almost like, I almost think of podcasting like comedy on some level, like you can't go to a comedy club and ask a guy not to make an abortion joke, because that's gonna happen, right? Like, you can't stand up in the middle and say, I've had an abortion. This isn't funny. Well, no, to you, it is definitely not funny. I get that, right? But you can't quell comedy because it's important, you know, like it's important socially. And. If you, if you try to make it so that no one's ever offended by it, you're not gonna have comedy anymore. And I think the same thing about these conversations, like no one's gonna sit down on on, you know, Nightline or 2020 and talk to Amber about what happened to her. But in the course of this hour 20 minutes, we heard that her mom was diagnosed with type one diabetes before management was any good, and doctors watched her kill herself her whole life and never helped her. As a matter of fact, she thought she was doing okay for most of the time. If you listen to the to her stepfather's like retelling of it, they didn't think they were doing anything specifically wrong that had a significant impact on Amber, who then threw herself into another situation that then had a significant impact on her 10 years of her life, right? You got to hear a story about about a man basically putting weight on a woman so that she was more like physically attractive to him, and then got her to a weight where he said, You're too fat for me, like, Holy hell. Like, that's crazy, okay? And then you have babies with that person, and then you have to pull yourself out of that situation. You have to repair your health, you have to figure out how to take care of your kids. You're not going to hear this on 2020 because they're going to be busy saying things very nicely so that nobody gets upset. And you want these conversations, you should want these now. Is someone gonna listen to this and be like, This was very triggering to me. I'm gonna guess, right? But sure, I can't make a podcast that everybody's gonna be okay with because there's 1000 of them out there. You should go listen to them. They're very boring, and nobody listens to them like we went over the real things that happen in your life. It's not my fault that the guy did that to you. I just asked the questions that got it out there. You know what I mean? Correct? Yeah, I

Amber 1:21:50
I agree. Thank you. I

Scott Benner 1:21:52
need somebody to stick up for me once in a while, because, yeah, no, you're fine. I

Amber 1:21:55
think that if you don't like, you know what you're hearing, which no one's going to like everything that they hear. It's just as simple as hitting the off button. It's that simple. Yeah, I

Scott Benner 1:22:03
don't understand it. I listen to things all the time I don't like, and I get halfway through and I go, this sucks, and I turn it off. Yeah, just think I suck and turn it off. But if you don't, then listen and you're gonna get, like, an honest conversation with Amber, and you're gonna hear me ask questions. Where sometimes I'm like, I don't really understand what's happening here, or I have a really strong reaction to this, or whatever. You know anyway, trust me, I said Jesus Christ at one point to something. You said, I lost 25 listeners. They're like, I didn't know he's gonna take the Lord's name in vain today. Like, you know, like, and keep that in mind that I'm not unaware that by saying what I think I'm gonna lose somebody. I lose somebody probably every 10 minutes. I gain a person, but I probably lose a person too. I could speak in a way that would keep everybody here, but all I would be doing is keeping you all in the middle of a boring, uninteresting conversation that doesn't really move your understanding anywhere. I mean, seriously, what I heard from you today, I'm grateful to have heard it never occurred to me that I could have looked at a woman, told her I loved her and said, but if you're if you weigh more like, it never occurred to me to say to her like it would have never like. And now I'm realizing there's probably people out there that like, look, I want you to get breast implants, or you should, you should do this or lose weight, or, you know, if you really want to be attractive, you should be doing this like I find that really, I was stunned by that, you know, yeah, so anyway, I really appreciate you sharing all this. That's all I wanted to say. Thank

Amber 1:23:35
you. Yeah, thanks for having me. I really appreciate it. It's my pleasure.

Scott Benner 1:23:37
Hold on one second. Okay, you

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#1363 Caregiver Burnout Series: Part 3

Erika Forsyth provide strategies and encouragement for caregivers to manage nighttime sleep disturbances and burnout.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Here we are back together again, friends for another episode of The Juicebox podcast.

Erica is back for part three of the caregiver burnout series, and don't forget, if you'd like to hire Erica, you can learn more about her at Erica forsyth.com. Nothing you hear on the Juicebox podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. Don't forget to save 40% off of your entire order at cozy earth.com. All you have to do is use the offer code juice box at checkout. That's Juicebox at checkout to save 40% at cozy earth.com if you are the caregiver of someone with type one diabetes or have type one yourself, please go to T 1d exchange.org/juice box and complete the survey. This should take you about 10 minutes, and will really help type one diabetes research. You can help right from your house at T 1d exchange.org/juicebox, I know that Facebook has a bad reputation, but please give the private Facebook group for the Juicebox podcast, a healthy once over Juicebox podcast, type one diabetes.

This episode of The Juicebox podcast is sponsored by ag one, I start every day with a delicious drink of ag one, you could as well drink, AG, one.com/juice box. Today's episode of The Juicebox podcast is sponsored by Omnipod and the Omnipod five learn more and get started today at omnipod.com/juice box and that Omnipod iPhone app you've been waiting for, it's available right now in the Apple App Store, Erica, we are going to jump into episode three, the third part of our caregiver burnout series. Today we're going to talk about what

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 2:10
that's right today, we are going to talk about the third burden or barrier to why it's challenging to take care of yourself as a caregiver or find time to care for yourself, and that is managing type one and the experience of nighttime sleep disturbances. Again, this is the third most common burden or issue that parents have identified in all of the research around caregiver burden for children with type one,

Scott Benner 2:41
when it's time, can I read the quote from the research? Yes, I'm gonna

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 2:45
pass it over. It's time. Read the quote. This is from the parent from the from the research, getting,

Scott Benner 2:51
getting the character. Let's see, I'm sad and tired. Okay, I got it. Yes. I feel unhappy when I think about not sleeping, feeling anxious and feeling tired and moody all the time. So it's rather contradictory, because I'm obviously satisfied that things are well and that my child feels fine at the same time, I may not feel satisfied because I do not feel well, really. Okay. So what this person is saying is, right, like I've got, I got my ducks in a row here. Kids doing good, but I'm up at three in the morning Bolus in a 140 and I feel like I'm gonna drop dead because I'm unbroken sleep might be the worst thing that could happen to you. I used to think, I guess, in the beginning, when Arden was first diagnosed, and I realized, Oh, I'm awake at two in the morning for 45 minutes, and then I'm up again at 430 for 15 minutes. I actually, in the beginning, I thought, I can do this. It's okay. I guess this is what it is. And then as the years went on, I mean, there were times like I one time I woke my wife up and I said, I need you to watch Arden's blood sugar. I feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack. Like I like I was yes, I was buzzing, and my heart was like thumping out of my chest. I was exhausted, but I had so much adrenaline, it didn't matter I was awake. And I'm not that guy. I am head on the pillow. Go to sleep like I don't. I do not struggle to sleep. Prior to ardence, diabetes, I would not have been a person who I thought could have just woken up at two in the morning and stayed awake before stayed awake for 45 minutes or an hour or something like that. I just wasn't that person. But then I was, and I actually tricked myself for a long time into thinking, Well, I'm gonna be okay. This will be all right. This is, I guess, this is how I live, and I'll be okay. And then one day, I thought, I'm gonna die if I don't, if I don't fix this, you know, yes, and then CGM and algorithms came, and it got easier, but, but tell me more about it, please.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 4:46
Yes. I mean that that tension between you know, you need to sleep, but just as important, you wanting to make sure your child stays alive and or doesn't have a. Have a low or stay high for hours. And so this is, obviously, this, the state of sleep deprivation is really common in the beginning of diagnosis. And as we've talked about, you know, the seasons of change, particularly from, you know, changing devices or growth hormones, etc, etc. So this, you know, the fear, this is probably one of the greatest fears among parents, at least according to the research. But I would also probably say, from what we hear on the podcast and in in my office, you know, this is the greatest feared outcome. Is your child having a hypoglycemic reaction or seizure. And so then that fear is driving. You're just wanting to monitor whether you're finger pricking every half an hour to an hour, or watching the CGM. And so even, as you just said, parents know and experience you have short tempers over long periods of time of not sleeping, you are not motivated to exercise. You have difficulty making decisions. You have you might have some impairment in your work performance or functioning. You might not make the dietary choices that you are striving for. You have decreased patients and irritability. So you're then stuck in between this tension of, I so desperately want my child to be safe at night, and I so desperately need to sleep, and I and I know that I'm not functioning well, yeah, but yet, as the parent says, but then you feel well because your child's doing okay at night, right? You're

Scott Benner 6:37
proud and exhausted at the same time. And yes, it's funny, because you said hypoglycemia is what people are worried about in the research, I was worried about both. Like, that's the other thing. Like, I'm freaked out when somebody says, Oh, you know, I needed to sleep through the night, so we just put their blood sugar at, you know, 180 and left it there all night, or 200 or wherever you put it. I'm like, Oh, God. Like, don't do that. Don't do the other thing either. Like, that's the to me, that's the that's the push and the pull and the anxiety of the whole thing, which is, like, you can't be low, that's dangerous right now, and I don't want you to be high, because that's dangerous later. And, you know, I'm exhausted, but in my mind, you know, if I go to sleep now and don't do something about this, either you're going to have a seizure or your eyes are going to explode when you're explode when you're 35 and like, and that's how it feels like it just, it feels like, no matter, like I have to do the right thing to avoid both sides of this, you know, Storm and, you know, like in the middle feels so narrow, like the line you're trying to walk, it feels, it feels like a tightrope, right? And you know, just, it's not easy, and then you're exhausted. And everything you just said about what comes with exhaustion, I know I've lived through all that, just, just every, everything you just said happened to me, and it's, I don't think it's a thing you can avoid, all those, all those implications,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 7:57
yes, yeah. So this is, it is challenging. And again, can be normal during certain, you know, ages and stages of your child's diagnosis. But what we're wanting to encourage you to think about, you know, if this is now becoming years and years and years, right, of of not being able to sleep, and so pausing and asking yourself, you know, noticing the why, what is going on. And so as we move into kind of the tool, you know, I say take breaks, and we're going to get into that, like, what does that actually mean? But I would encourage you to to start asking yourself, what is the risk and the benefit of studying the numbers? What is, what is the underlying reason that you cannot sleep? And this might feel a little bit similar to episode two of kind of pausing and listening to what is driving the behavior? Is it fear? Yes, it's probably fear of having, if your child up being too high for too long or having a low but what is underneath that? Do you need more education? Do you need more knowledge? Do you need more time? Do you need more trust with the alarms? And we'll get into that a little bit more. So what is, is it kind of general anxiety? Are you feeling anxious about everything, and that's keeping you up, and then you're watching the numbers, so just trying to understand what is is it might be grief also come, you know, in the beginning or at any point, what is it that is driving you to continue to monitor the lows beyond the obvious of what we've already said, Right?

Scott Benner 9:41
Guilt, maybe my daughter is 20 years old. I can't even believe it. She was diagnosed with type one diabetes when she was two, and she put her first insulin pump on when she was four. That insulin pump was an Omnipod, and it's been an Omnipod every day since then. That's. 16 straight years of wearing Omnipod, it's been a friend to us, and I believe it could be a friend to you. Omnipod.com/juicebox, whether you get the Omnipod dash or the automation that's available with the Omnipod five, you are going to enjoy tubeless insulin pumping. You're going to be able to jump into a shower or a pool or a bathtub without taking off your pump. That's right, you will not have to disconnect to bathe with an Omnipod. You also won't have to disconnect to play a sport or to do anything where a regular tube pump has to come off. Arden has been wearing an Omnipod for 16 years. She knows other people that wear different pumps, and she has never once asked the question, should I be trying a different pump? Never once omnipod.com/juicebox, get a pump that you'll be happy with forever. The holiday season is approaching quickly, and I'd like to take something off of your plate. If you're looking for something for a partner, a parent or a friend, why not give them the gift of health. Give them ag one. And right now, ag one is running a special Black Friday offer for all of November. Ag one is a daily health drink packed with nutrition to help alleviate bloating, support sustained energy and whole body health. It's the time of year where we put a lot of different stuff in our bellies, but the one thing we should put in there, my opinion, is ag one. So this holiday season, try ag one for yourself, or even gift it to someone special. It's the perfect time to focus on supporting your body with an easy and surprisingly delicious daily health drink. And that's why I've been partnering with ag one for so long. Every week of November, ag one will be running a special Black Friday offer for a free gift with your first subscription, in addition to the welcome kit and vitamin d3, k2, so make sure to check out drink a G one.com/juice box to see what gift you can get this week that's drink a g1 com slash juice box to start your holiday season off on a healthier note, while supplies last, yes, right? That could get you it's my fault. This comes from my side of the family, that kind of feeling, I think, also either being a single parent or having a spouse who you guys have decided that, well, they work during the day, so I'm the one that does this. Or, you know, I have to be honest, I hear a lot of people tell me, you know, I guess it, I guess it, it could be either side of it. But I hear a lot of women tell me, like, Oh, my husband says he's not getting he's not good at hearing things. So I'm like, Oh yeah, me either. But let's go. Like, so sometimes, I think sometimes in a two spouse situation, you'll find one that just goes, Oh, I'm not good at this. And then, you know, it gets laid on you, or you're the one that does the management, so it feels like you're the one that needs to be doing it. And, you know, people can kind of use that as either like a legitimate reason or a cop out for not being involved overnight, yeah, but at the same time, I don't know, I think you could set to see to me, it seems like a learning thing, like very much like we talked about before, like, if you if you had good tools, not just, not just, you know, CGM and pumps, which you know, would obviously make it easier, I think. But just like good knowledge of how insulin works and you know how to head things off before they become giant, you know, hyperglycemia issues or, you know, or hypo I think those tools will help you. And then maybe you start with a wider range that you're okay with overnight, and then learn how to through actions that happen prior to sleeping, you know, settings and bolusing strategies, etc, you know, learn to, like, tighten that tolerance as you go. I wish I could go back into it that way. I didn't have any of that information, but, but I can see where it would have saved me to do those things.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 13:53
Yeah, yeah. So, so, you know that's trusting. You know, can you trust? If you are using CGM, can you trust the alarms? As you were saying, right? Like, and if you can't, what is underneath that? Is that general anxiety? Is it not trusting? Is it too tight? Is it too wide? You know, what is your range?

Scott Benner 14:16
Also, the physical alarm? Like, maybe you just, maybe some people just don't hear it. Like, I know that I just kind of was sarcastic about it because, but sometimes you just don't hear it. I alarm, fatigue is very real. There's a ton of research about it. I don't hear the damn thing, like, half the time, like, you know, I mean, like, I'll hear the I'll hear the den, den, like, the real low one, yeah, but I don't, I don't hear the other stuff. And we actually just realized recently that my wife's phone her high alarm, like it's set where ours is, but she's not really that. My wife's not involved in like, moment to moment decisions about insulin. So I said to her, like, let's raise that alarm up so that if Arden goes over 120 your phone's not beeping every few minutes. I said, because I think. It's, I think we're just hearing it now and not reacting to it anymore. Like, let's put it at a place where, if it goes off, it wakes us up, because we're not accustomed to hearing it. And even though we're sleeping through it, I still think it's causing poor sleep for us as well. Yes, yeah,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 15:13
yeah, alarm, alarm, fatigue, not hearing it. I mean, I often, I think I've shared this before. I don't necessarily hear my alarms, that my husband will, but I will feel the vibration. My pump will vibrate. And so I often will feel that wherever it is, you know, in my bed. But there are certainly more, you know, sugar, all the different you know, sugar pixel glow. Glucose

Scott Benner 15:33
isn't Thank you. Glucose gloss is audible. It's visual, but I find it okay. So you want to go over these real quick, yeah, yeah. Let's do it. Sugar pixel has a puck. Actually, I have it right here. That's crazy, a puck that plugs into the sugar pixel and then it vibrates. You can kind of put it under your pillow, right? And hopefully that'll give you some vibration there. I like glucose because it I set ranges for colors, and then if I should wake up in the middle of the night and I look up and there's a soft green glow in the corner. I don't have to open my phone and look at it, because I think, okay. Green, good, back to sleep. Red, Oh, I gotta wake up and see. And it helps you to stay it helps me, at least, to stay aligned with what I'm trying to accomplish without it yanking me hard out of sleep. Now, you know, yes, that is cool. Yeah, it definitely helps with that. Also, if you get too low, if the blood sugar gets too low, it flashes red. Now, visually, I've never been woken by that, because I have it on a it's as dim as I can get it. I use it for just like it makes my wall glow a color off in a corner, and that's how I use it. But the sugar pixel itself that has alarms, and you could set it up to vibrate for yourself. It gets a great tool. I have a sugar pixel next to my bed. Arden doesn't have it because she's at college and she couldn't get it onto the to the Wi Fi like because her school's Wi Fi was blocking it. But I also know there are people who can get around that. Yeah, it's a weird monster. It's so the data so valuable, and the alarms are so valuable, until one day you just like, I don't hear this anymore. And that's, that's the end now, yes, what about the other side of it? If my daughter's low, my wife's cortisol shoots through the roof, and she can't go back to sleep. Like it hits her. She gets hit with adrenaline, even if I'm like, she's fine. She's like, it don't matter. I'm up. So does that happen to people too? I guess, right,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 17:31
yes. And, and I think with your different ages of your child, we have, yes, thank goodness we have all this technology if you're if you're able to use it and the the alarms, but also your body, for most, not actually, I don't know what the stats are. I wonder if you do of how many people can wake up from their lows. Because prior to my wearing a CGM, my body would wake itself up from a low now it doesn't, because now, now I'm reliant on my alarms if I go low, so I will not wake up and feel low prior to my alarm going off, but before I had alarms, my body would wake itself up. My brother would never wake up from a low and consequently had some more morning seizures. Okay, so I wonder, I don't know. I've never actually thought through this, but I wonder if our bodies have become more dependent on the alarms, as opposed to waking themselves up, Bolus, I don't know,

Scott Benner 18:27
you can also get, like, hypo, hypoglycemic unawareness and that, well, yes, yeah, which can come from that it described to me when it when your body used to wake you up, what did it feel like? You remember the visceral feeling?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 18:40
Yo, yes. Like, it was pretty classic, you know, shaky, racing heart. Those would be the the first I would wake up and feel shaky, wake you

Scott Benner 18:51
up, like, physically pop you open. Or, like, you know, when you're dreaming, and you realize in your dream, you like, I gotta pay, and then you wake up because you gotta pay. Like, that kind of, how does it work? How did it work?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 19:01
The shaking wouldn't wake me up, but not like I was seizing, but it would. I would wake up feeling that way, feeling shaky, and would just roll over and pop some glucose in my mouth.

Scott Benner 19:13
Did you stay awake to see if it worked? No, I

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 19:16
would take three and go back to bed and probably wouldn't even finger prick. Yeah, that was back in the day. Take three and you're good, yeah,

Scott Benner 19:23
three should be it. Boom. Done that. Did you wake up in the morning super high, or was it usually okay? Oh yeah, I'll fix this by making my blood sugar 350 but, but, you know, at a certain age, right in college, maybe, like, just, it's great that you did it honestly now, but you say now, as an adult, your husband's the one that wakes

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 19:46
you. He'll hear the alarms and think, you know, due to technology, I don't have as many nighttime alarm or lows, right, because the pump will shut off, but if I do have a low I would say. Most often I'll hear or feel the vibrate or the alarm and wake up and then feel low. How often

Scott Benner 20:06
does that happen to you in a month,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 20:08
a nighttime low? Maybe twice, okay? And that only happens if I've eaten late and have I have a lot of insulin on board before going to bed, and so that just means I over bullish. But if I if everything is okay, and I naturally go low, my pump will shut off, and I'll never

Scott Benner 20:26
you'll wake up in the morning and say, Oh, I was 65 for an hour and they came back. I was, yeah, yeah, gotcha. That's interesting. Okay, so I'm sorry, back to, back to,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 20:35
yeah, it's okay. So I mean, yeah, nighttime. What is driving that fear right beyond the normal? Is it fear? Anxiety? Is it guilt? Is it shame? You know, we've talked about, what, what gremlins? What thoughts are you having as you're watching the arrows? Are you on that roller coaster of fear, of shame, anxiety, as you watch your child's numbers rise and fall. So what do you do? I know a lot of people, particularly in the beginning, and I understand and get it and validate it, but you might spend all day watching the numbers, staring at it, yeah. And then, even if you're in you know range, and you feel like you're in a comfortable space, it's hard. You can't tell your mind to say, oh, it's night time. I'm going to stop looking at the numbers, right? It's hard to make that switch. So if you're Reliant and dependent and accustomed to staring at the numbers for most of the day, it's hard to just turn that off at night. And so when one tool to take an actual break during the day, for example, not looking at at your and this is, again, mostly we're talking to people who are, you know, doing follow or watching your child's number on a CGM app, not look at it for starting with five minutes, if you're if you're looking at it, or if it's constantly up in your screen again. If you are able to function and you feel comfortable and everything is flowing, that's great. But if you are finding that you are riddled with fear and shame and guilt and need to feel like you're fixated on the number and want to take a break, this is, this is something that you could try to say, Okay, I'm not gonna look at the number for five minutes, or an increase to 10 or an hour, whatever feels like wherever you are in that threshold that feels like a challenge initially, and then grow, yeah, and during that time you will that will give you clues as to what's going on. Are you panicked? Are you fearful? Are you able to distract yourself and trust what's going on with where your child's number is and how much insulin is on board, etc? And so during that initial time, it might be hard to be like, what else can I do? You know, whether it's make a phone call, do something positive for yourself, any kind of distraction that is helpful, but noticing in those breaks of when you're not looking at the CGM or the number, that is an indicator of what is in going on inside you emotionally. Does that? Does that make sense? It

Scott Benner 23:13
does. Can I I'm gonna this is not a left turn, I promise you. No, go ahead. Encouraged me while we're talking right. How does social media platforms keep your attention through dopamine hits for instant gratification. Dopamine has another name. It could be adrenaline. So it gives you that a social validation loop. It's another thing that social media does to keep you and you're validating that you you're doing something important. It gives you that feeling of completeness, that you've completed something people love, that it hits you with, uh, FOMO, right? So the fear of missing out on something, there's something called notification triggers. So push notifications come. It draws you back into the app. It makes you feel like there's something interesting happening, like, this whole thing, there's an engagement loop that comes from that. And then there's social comparison, which you talked about earlier. And then there's the kind of the gamification elephant that they use. They gamify things. So you could make a an argument that I've heard people say that they game their diabetes, and they do well because of it, because they take it as like, Oh, I'm trying to keep like, you know, it's, I don't know it's like, Pac Man, like I'm trying to keep the lady inside of the thing without the ghost catching her. Like, I'm trying to keep my numbers here and there. Some people report that that's a really great way for them, not for everybody. And also, you get a lot of emotions out of this too. So it occurs to me that, like, there are a number of reasons why that could help you do well, but there's even more reasons why it could hurt you. But at the same time, we're right back to the idea of like, you can't just put it down. It's not, it's not a game. It's it's life and it's health. But there's a bunch of ways that you could be being impacted by it and not realize it. And. Therefore keep you in that app longer than you need to be, which is why I very just simply tell people you set alarms and you do not look at that app unless those alarms are beeping. Just do not just, you gotta just, you gotta trust something. You gotta trust that if I'm in the range that I set, I don't need to look. That's my opinion. That's what worked best for me, yes,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 25:20
if that doesn't work for you, that's okay. And if you're noticing that whatever you're doing doesn't feel sustainable, that's you know, then to kind of pause and say, Okay, what is why can't I trust the alarms? Why can't I sleep? If the fear. And I get it. I really do that the fear you don't want your child to have a low or sustained highs, and then looking at where is that fear coming from? And again, I know, I think I've said this every episode now, but that it does often feel like a luxury, something that takes time and energy to pause, like, what? What is driving my fear? I don't have time to think about that. I'm just surviving. I'm just trying to keep my child alive. And so I think I want to acknowledge that too, that this, hopefully just even by listening again to this, to this particular episode, that you're able to spend a few minutes saying, like, wait, you know why? Why is that so hard? Beyond the obvious of wanting to keep my child alive,

Scott Benner 26:21
right? Well, I'll talk to about the again, about the ranges, because I think this is important. At some point in the in the podcast, you'll hear me say that it occurred to me while I was still learning all this, it occurred to me one day that Arden's top number was set at 200 on our CGM, and that we were very good at keeping her blood sugar under 200 and then I thought, I wonder if this is an expectation game. So I pushed her blood sugar to 180 and then I realized we were awfully good at keeping our blood sugar under weight 80. And I was like, oh, so I kept pushing it down right. What you don't realize in that story is that along the way, I learned other things that were helping us keep her at 181 6140, like on and on and on, and it's a lot about settings and timing and the other stuff we talk about in the podcast about how to use insulin. But as I was learning to use insulin and tightening the range up, I was getting what I was expecting more often. It just occurred to me while you were talking, I don't know what Arden's blood sugar is. I don't think I've looked at it today, so I wasn't certain. I opened up my phone and her blood sugar is 88 but that freedom of like, the settings are good. We know how to use the insulin most of the time. This is going to be okay. Like, the way to get to that is by understanding how insulin works. Is, again, my opinion, like, like, and so if there's a place to put your effort to me, it's, it's learning what you talked about, like your body. It's, you know, like, what it needs, like, what happens, like, how do I get ahead of this knowing simple things about insulin? I know this isn't like an insulin, like, you know, series, but the one thing that I think most people miss out on in the beginning is that what's happening now is about what you did before. And I don't think people think people think about it that way, usually, like, you mentioned it earlier, like, if I get low overnight, it could be because I had a heavy dinner some six hours previous to that, you know. And I don't think that in the beginning it occurs to you. Like, I think you just look at and you go, it's three in the morning. Why did I get low in three in the morning? And you start making changes to your basal and messing up your basal and, like, everything else, right? So that's the stuff. It's where I just think, go listen to the Pro Tip series. Learn how to use your insulin, and then see if a lot of these things don't get not alleviated over time. It's my expectation for you. It's why I made the Pro Tip series. Actually, I can't believe Martin blood sugar is 88 I'm like, super happy. It's like, she's in college. She just ate something terrible, I'm assuming a while ago, because I see a Bolus, like I see a Bolus about about 45 minutes ago, and she did a great job with it, you know. Anyway, I'm sorry,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 28:52
no, that's good, I mean. And it is true, like there a lot of it is this education piece, and when you are able and ready to access and apply that is also part of your journey. Yeah,

Scott Benner 29:07
you have a note here too. I don't want to miss about setting a timer.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 29:10
Like, yeah. So, so the timer, yeah, we talked about like setting the timer in terms of during the day. The topic is, you know the nighttime sleep disturbances and the fear of your child going low or having long term high, and that if you're watching the numbers all day long, it's hard to tell your brain to turn it off when you're going to bed, and so to practice giving yourself that break during the day. So setting a timer like what you were just saying with the alarms. Don't look at the number at the CGM or test your child's blood sugar for five minutes. It's very

Scott Benner 29:47
worth like, highlighting like, I'll set a timer, and I will not think about this until the timer goes off again. You can teach yourself to like, I know it works, because before all this technology, I used to think I. To check Arden in an hour. And, believe it, I seriously, believe it or not, eventually my brain knew an hour, yeah, like, I would just be like, Oh, I'm gonna test her now. And then my alarm would go off. My taught my brain how long an hour was without looking at a clock. And so you can teach yourself to, you know, to step back a little bit too. I think, I think that's like, a really valuable idea to give yourself some a shot at separation from the whole thing,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 30:25
yes, and then hopefully that gives you feedback as to what's going on, to then apply that at night also, right? So what we're trying to do is to want to help you have more sleep at night, ultimately. But it is a hard it's a hard process to get there, and it is normal to have that right, to have those sleep disturbances, but we hope that eventually to get to a place where you can trust what's in place, so that you can take care of yourself and get some sleep.

Scott Benner 30:58
Yeah, because it's it is very hard to see what a lack of sleep is doing to you until it's too late and you're having those fights and those problems that you were talking about. And sleep is just not a thing. You can't bank it like, you know, I mean, like, I can't just sleep 20 hours today and be okay tomorrow. You need to sleep every day. And I know that's the thing. I just, everyone must know, but it's tough. Like, it just, it really is. It's the thing that's come the closest to killing me from diabetes so far. Like, seriously, like, I like, vibrating, heart pounding, like I'm so tired, but I can't go to sleep. Like, it just, it was, and it would, sometimes it goes on for days when you don't know what you're doing, yes, oh, it's hard. It's the worst. And I was lucky enough to be a stay at home, dad, like some of you poor bastards are getting up in the morning and dragging your ass to work, you know, like on no sleep. And then listen, we had a parenting thing the other day here, and I said to my wife at the end of the day, you know, lucky we are that we even work out of our house. I was like, this took a lot of effort and time and focus that I think if we were just leaving the house and going to work, we would not have been able to accomplish this like, you know. And just imagine being, you know, having that implication and being exhausted, on top of all the other things, did we get through? There's a little bit left here. Good. Well,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 32:12
we, yeah, I think we got, we got through everything. I think they just, I wanted to end with a little exercise, just because these first three well, they're all They're all challenging and heavy, because what you're doing as a caregiver is challenging. But just wanted to end with a self compassion exercise, because a lot of these things that we've talked about, if shame or guilt or fear is driving some of these behaviors to offer some self compassion and kindness to yourself. And I can't remember if we've already gone through this before, but if you're able to either right now or maybe later, pausing and taking some deep breaths and either placing your hand over your heart and feeling your heart beat, or placing your hand over the other hand, and you can either just hold it or or tap it or kind of rub it as if you were kind of crossing your child's hand, but you're doing this to yourself and connecting with your body in that way, with either your hand over your heart or Your one hand over the other and having offering a positive kind of affirmation to yourself that I you know, I am good enough. I am I'm doing the best I can. I am taking this one day at a time. I am on a journey, and I am valuable. Whatever else is coming up for you. I know this might feel odd doing this right now, but if you are able to integrate it can take you can do it for 30 seconds or a minute throughout the day, of just pausing, connecting with your body and connecting with your mind and giving yourself some positive affirmation, because you all are doing an incredible job. I hope

Scott Benner 34:02
you're happy. Erica, now there's a bunch of people crying in their cars and while they're doing their dishes so but no, that's fantastic. I I'll try that for sure. Thank you. I appreciate it.

The conversation you just enjoyed was sponsored by Omnipod five. You want to get an Omnipod five? You can you want to make me happy? Do it with my link. Omnipod.com/juice box. A huge thank you to one of today's sponsors. AG, one drink. AG, one.com/juice box. You can start your day the same way I do with a delicious drink of ag one. Are you starting to see patterns, but you can't quite make sense of them? You're like, Oh, if I Bolus here, this happens, but I don't know what to do. Should I put in a little less, a little more? If you're starting to have those thoughts, you're starting to think this isn't going the way the doctor says. It would I think I see something here, but I can't be sure. Once you're having those thoughts, you're ready for the diabetes Pro Tip series from the Juicebox podcast. It begins at Episode 1000 you can also find it at Juicebox podcast.com up in the menu, and you can find a list in the private Facebook group. Just check right under the featured tab at the top, it'll show you lists of a ton of stuff, including the Pro Tip series, which runs from episode 1000 to 1025 when or if you need something that is represented by one of the sponsors. It would help the podcast immensely if you would use my links to look into it or to make a purchase. Those links are available in the show notes of the podcast or audio player you're listening in right now and at Juicebox podcast.com it's a simple and easy way to support the podcast. If you're not already subscribed or following in your favorite audio app, please take the time now to do that. It really helps the show and get those automatic downloads set up so you never miss an episode. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox podcast. The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording, wrong way recording.com, you.

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#1362 Rollin’ with Elizabeth

18 year old Elizabeth shares her story. 

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio -  Radio Public, Amazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Welcome back, friends to another episode of The Juicebox Podcast.

Today, I'll be speaking with Elizabeth, who is 18 years old. She's an athlete into martial arts and judo. She's had type one diabetes for five years. This is her story. Nothing you hear on the Juicebox podcast should be considered advice medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. If you're looking for community around type one diabetes, check out the Juicebox podcast, private Facebook group. Juicebox podcast, type one diabetes. But everybody is welcome type one, type two, gestational loved ones. It doesn't matter to me if you're impacted by diabetes and you're looking for support, comfort or community, check out Juicebox podcast, type one diabetes on Facebook. Are you an adult living with type one or the caregiver of someone who is and a US resident? If you are, I'd love it if you would go to T 1d exchange.org/juicebox and take the survey. When you complete that survey, your answers are used to move type one diabetes research of all kinds. So if you'd like to help with type one research, but don't have time to go to a doctor or an investigation and you want to do something right there from your sofa. This is the way today's episode of The Juicebox podcast is sponsored by the ever since 365 the one year where CGM that's one insertion a year. That's it. And here's a little bonus for you. How about there's no limit on how many friends and family you can share your data with with the ever since now app no limits. Ever since us med is sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox podcast, and we've been getting our diabetes supplies from us med for years. You can as well us med.com/juice, box, or call 888-721-1514, use the link or the number get your free benefits. Check and get started today with us. Med, this show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries, G VO, hypo, pen. Find out more at gvoke, glucagon.com, forward slash Juicebox.

Elizabeth 2:26
Hi, I'm Elizabeth. I am a type one diabetic athlete, and I do judo, which is a martial arts and today I'm on the Juicebox podcast.

Scott Benner 2:36
And a second ago, Elizabeth introduced herself, and I didn't have her track recording, so now it's recording. We're all good. Here's what I learned in the 35 seconds before I realized I wasn't recording your voice. You're 17, you're almost 18. You'll be 18 on July 19, which is just a few days after my 53rd birthday. We're both cancers, but you don't find yourself to be particularly emotional like I do? Yeah. Do you think it's possible that none of that means anything, whether you're like a Pisces or a cancer or something like that?

Elizabeth 3:09
Personally, I think that it has nothing to do with you. You are you, and you be strong as you.

Scott Benner 3:15
I agree. What makes you come on the podcast? What do you want? What made you reach out from previous

Elizabeth 3:22
experiences I haven't really had the chance to meet any other type one diabetes in the martial arts community, and those that I have met, they do not compete to the level that I do. Hold on a second you were hoping

Scott Benner 3:35
what, Elizabeth, you sound like, you might be a little ass kicker. Are you out there rolling with the big boys. What's going on?

Elizabeth 3:41
Well, I would hope so. I actually I compete interprovincially and internationally on Team Alberta. So Oh, my God. Oh,

Scott Benner 3:50
you're Canadian.

Elizabeth 3:51
I am, yeah, oh, I

Scott Benner 3:53
didn't know. I thought you sounded extra polite, but I didn't know. Hold on, a second. How long have you had type one diabetes?

Elizabeth 4:00
I have had type one diabetes for five years this November.

Scott Benner 4:04
Oh, okay, no kidding, so you were how old when you were diagnosed?

Elizabeth 4:10
I was about 11 or 1211. Or

Scott Benner 4:13
12, okay, 11 or 12 in Canada. Always been Canadian. They didn't. You didn't move there or anything like that. Yep, born and raised. So when you were diagnosed that they put you on regular and mph,

Elizabeth 4:24
regular and mph. I'm not quite familiar with the terms. Then you

Scott Benner 4:28
didn't. Then it wasn't you. Some of the provinces use an older form of insulin when people are diagnosed. But you you, what did you start with?

Elizabeth 4:37
I started with basal. Glory and humility, actually. Okay, so

Scott Benner 4:40
you started with more modern Did you know that province? And should I say province or province? Does it matter to you? I don't want to insult you either. Art is fine. Okay, province. There they do it differently from from one to the other. Oh, that's cool. Interesting. So you're in. Let's see either I gotta test myself on this Toronto. Toe would do more modern insulin. So would trying to think of the different provinces. Never mind. I'll never figure it out. Do you live? Do you live where the abominable snow monster lives? Or are you near a building?

Elizabeth 5:13
Well, I mean, I'm in a building, but it gets pretty cold here.

Scott Benner 5:18
Is it an igloo that you're in, be honest, not

Elizabeth 5:21
quite, no, it's, it's a pretty nice house, I'll be honest.

Scott Benner 5:25
I've had, I've had some deep conversations with other Canadians. One was a little girl recently, she tried to tell me that you even have cars in Canada, which I thought was crazy, because obviously you live on a frozen hellscape. There's just polar bears and penguins and everything. But she said, No. She said, like, there's like, towns and sidewalks and everything. So I chose the believer.

Elizabeth 5:46
Are you saying, As shocking as it sounds, that is true, we do have cars.

Scott Benner 5:49
You're representing the same ideas. Okay, that's okay. When did you start? By the way, did you like when I said rolling? Like I knew a little bit about judo? Yes, yeah. It's pretty impressive, I imagine for you first, let me talk to you a little bit about your diagnosis. I want to just kind of get that story for you. So do you remember much about it?

Elizabeth 6:07
I do actually, I was in my junior high years, and I had been sick for a little while. Not quite sure why. I was like, oh, probably just a common cold, like, whatever. But then it didn't really start getting better after about three, four days, I ended up going to get checked out at the hospital nearby, and I ended up admitted that night, and they were like, well, yep, you have type one diabetes. And like, this is something you'll have for life. And I definitely remember being pretty scared because I didn't really know what was going on and what was happening, but I was lucky enough that I had both my parents there to support me. Very nice.

Scott Benner 6:46
Any other family members, brothers, sisters,

Elizabeth 6:48
I do actually, I have three younger brothers, none of which have diabetes, which they're pretty lucky. The

Scott Benner 6:55
word bothers wrong. But when you were younger, did it? Did it make you upset that you were the only one that had it,

Elizabeth 7:01
honestly, I don't think it did. I think the biggest part for me was that, honestly, I was actually really, really scared of needles. Yeah, so I was just a little bit jealous. Were you

Scott Benner 7:10
able to get past that, or do you still have an

Elizabeth 7:14
aversion? I think I'm okay. Now, I look at a needle and it's like, well, this is part of my everyday life. So I think I'm okay. Now, cool.

Scott Benner 7:22
How about other autoimmune stuff for you? Do you have celiac or thyroid stuff, or anything like that?

Elizabeth 7:27
I do. Actually, I am a celiac. Oh, but, but

Scott Benner 7:31
that's probably not a problem in Canada, because you just drink ice water all day, right?

Elizabeth 7:37
As much as I wish that was true, I definitely missed the taste of bread.

Scott Benner 7:41
Tell everybody how to prepare whale fat as soap.

Go ahead. I have no idea. Okay, fine.

So you do. When were you diagnosed with celiac? Oh, I

Elizabeth 7:52
think I was nine before the type one. It was before the type one.

Scott Benner 7:57
You were making a little pile of autoimmune issues, and nobody else in the family with that, even I

Elizabeth 8:03
have a distant cousin who's like, three times removed, who has celiac, but I think that's it. Jeez.

Scott Benner 8:09
Lucky you. Well, Elizabeth, way to just gather all the stuff up for yourself and not share it with anybody else. How about your parents? Did they have anything going on,

Unknown Speaker 8:21
like medical stuff,

Scott Benner 8:21
no, how about that? So did you have, do you remember a virus before you were diagnosed, or anything like that? Yes,

Elizabeth 8:28
actually, I do remember this. So about a week and, yeah, just about a week before I was diagnosed with diabetes, I got a really viral, like disease or sickness. It was called 10 Foot Mouth Coxsackie

Scott Benner 8:41
virus. Yes, that's what my daughter had before she was diagnosed. Yep, yeah. Now you know somebody else who that happened to. So, yeah, we're going to expand your little universe, uh, pretty, pretty quickly with, uh, with this conversation Coxsackie. No kidding, yeah. Arden had it when she was two, and it just didn't go away, and then next thing he knew, she had diabetes. Sucks. Sorry. Well, what a bummer. How do you find the podcast like? How does a 17 year old listen to a podcast made by a 52 year old guy? If you take insulin or so final ureas, you are at risk for your blood sugar going too low, you need a safety net when it matters most, be ready with G vo hypo pen. My daughter carries G vo hypo pen everywhere she goes, because it's a ready to use rescue pen for treating very low blood sugar in people with diabetes ages two and above that. I trust low blood sugar. Emergencies can happen unexpectedly and they demand quick action. Luckily, jivo kypo pen can be administered in two simple steps, even by yourself in certain situations. Show those around you where you store G, vo khypo pen and how to use it. They need to know how to use G. Pen before an emergency situation happens. Learn more about why GEVO kypo Pen is in Arden's diabetes toolkit at gvoke, glucagon.com/juicebox, gvoke shouldn't be used if you have a tumor in the gland on the top of your kidneys called a pheochromocytoma, or if you have a tumor in your pancreas called an insulin OMA visit, gevok, glucagon.com/risk, for safety information. I don't know how you guys order your diabetes supplies, like CGM pumps and testing equipment, but at our house, we use us Med, and I'm gonna walk you through the entire process right now. I'm looking at the email from us Med, it says it's time to refill your prescription, dear Arden, please click the button below to place your next order. Then you click the button that was it. Two days later, I got this email, thank you for your order from us. Med, we wanted to let you know that your order and it gives you an order number was shipped via UPS ground. You can track your package at any time using the link below, and then there was a link, and then it showed up at our house. Now I'm going to walk you through the entire chain of events. On the 29th which was the Saturday I clicked on the email on that Monday, the first I got an email that said the order had been sent four days later on the fifth the package arrived. If you can do it easier than that, you go get it. But if you can't us, med.com/juice, box, or call 888-721-1514, get started today with us. Med, get your diabetes supplies the same way we do.

Elizabeth 11:42
So actually, it was my mom who found the podcast while she was doing a little bit of research internationally for other athletes like myself who compete like at high levels and have diabetes, and she recommended the podcast to me. And so I started listening, and I was like, this seems kind of cool, and I kind of applied, or I kind of messaged you on a whim. I was like, well, maybe he'll say something, maybe not. And here I

Scott Benner 12:04
am. Here you are. Well, cool. So the podcast has been valuable for you. Very, very excellent. I want to figure out what you learned and how you apply it. First, tell me, where are you competing you you mentioned, like, how you what's the is it like a, I don't even know what to say, judo, like league or I don't understand,

Elizabeth 12:24
so, yeah, so I'm part of something called Team Alberta. So each of the provinces has its own, like, judo team that represents the province. And to be part of this team, you have to travel interprovincially. So I think I'm visited pretty much each of the provinces two or three times to even in the past two years. Okay, and I go and I compete, and it's like, the more medals you win, the higher you're standing. And it's like, the better chance you have of then competing internationally. So I was actually given the chance this past February to go to Denmark and compete for Team Alberta as well.

Scott Benner 12:58
You beat up people from Denmark. I did

Elizabeth 13:01
a little bit of beating up and then got beat up as well.

Scott Benner 13:05
Tell me how you get involved in judo. Judo in

Elizabeth 13:07
Canada specifically is a bit of a smaller community, just because it's not as widely spread as something like hockey or lacrosse. But there are a lot of local communities that have their own Judo clubs, whether they be fairly small or the same size as my club. My club is the biggest in the city that I'm from. All you have to do is show up to a class. There's nothing more to it. Everyone is there is very friendly. They're very welcoming, and they're there to teach you how to fall, how to participate in the sport, and simply how to enjoy it and have fun. How old were you when you started? I think I was about five, five or six. Really,

Scott Benner 13:44
did one of your parents do it, or is it something you showed an interest in? They took you to it.

Elizabeth 13:49
So my mom actually got remarried a couple years ago, and my stepdad was the one who was doing judo when we first met him, and he was like, you guys, should come try this awesome sport. And I was actually a dancer at the time, and I was like, beating people up. That sounds awesome. Finally, so I went, and I kind of just kept going, no

Scott Benner 14:09
kidding. Oh, that's very cool. What would you say about judo that other people wouldn't know like because you hear people who do it, they're very passionate about it, and I hear them talk about community and mental toughness and and learning moves and being able to feel how things are happening so you can respond to them. But like, what? What about that is attractive to you? Yeah, definitely,

Elizabeth 14:32
I definitely agree with all those things me. Personally, I find that tudo has given me a very strong sense of morals, and it has really taught me things like resilience and determination, and it has given me a lot of grit. It also gave me the chance to connect with people all over the world, and its community, as you said, is very vibrant and it's very welcoming. And even though you might go and you might compete against some of these people that you know on the mats when. You come off, you shake their hand, and you at the end of the day, it's just you did a good job. We had a good fight like, Thank you for coming. Thank you for showing up.

Scott Benner 15:07
What's the goal of a of a is it a match? Is that what it's called? Yes, okay, what's the goal of a match? Are you trying to score points? Are you trying to submit people? What is it you're trying to accomplish?

Elizabeth 15:20
Yeah, so it's, it's a point system, so you can score half points and you can score full points. So a half point is called a wazari, and a full point is called an EPON. And for the ages 1414, and up, once you score a full point, the match is actually over. But you can score that point in multiple different ways. You have your groundwork techniques, which you can do chokes, arm bars, or you can hold a person down for 20 seconds, and then in your standing you can throw this person, and if they land completely on their back, then that is the full point.

Scott Benner 15:54
How scared are you that you're going to dislocate your knee or elbow or something like that?

Elizabeth 15:59
I mean, I have had some experience with injuries in the past. Actually broke my collar bone and my foot on a couple different occasions, but I think that even though I was scared to get back on the mats after that injury, after any of the injuries that I've sustained, I think that it's the most important thing was that I kept going back and I kept persevering. Because even though I was scared, getting back on the mat renewed my self confidence, and it made me stronger in the end as well.

Scott Benner 16:30
Why would you settle for changing your CGM every few weeks when you can have 365 days of reliable glucose data? Today's episode is sponsored by the ever since 365 it is the only CGM with a tiny sensor that lasts a full year sitting comfortably under your skin with no more frequent sensor changes and essentially no compression lows. For one year, you'll get your CGM data in real time on your phone, smart watch, Android or iOS, even an apple, watch predictive high and low alerts let you know where your glucose is headed before it gets there. So there's no surprises, just confidence, and you can instantly share that data with your healthcare provider or your family. You're going to get one year of reliable data without all those sensor changes. That's the ever since 365 gentle on your skin, strong for your life. One sensor a year. That gives you one less thing to worry about, head now to ever sense, cgm.com/juicebox, to get started. So dig deeper into that, like I've spoken to people who played baseball, basketball, football, like, you know, done all kinds of different sports competitions and things like that. You don't hear any of them talk about their self confidence growing from it. It's more usually like, you know, I barely keep my head above water because I'm I feel like I'm failing all the time, you know, because I think sport, generally speaking, is a lot of controlled failure, hoping for a couple of, you know, successes. But so first of all, why is Judo a confidence builder?

Elizabeth 18:07
Well, as a girl, just kind of, in this world, it's, it's nice to always have those kind of self defense skills, right? So even just that, and like, knowing that I know how to defend myself if I get into a tricky situation is really valuable to myself. And then for the self confidence part about coming back after an injury, I can say for sure, there is no better feeling than overcoming that mental block where you think you can't because of an injury, you sustain in the path, and you go above and beyond, and you achieve even more than what you wanted to originally. I think that is such an important part of your love for your sport, and it's important that you continue with it and go with it throughout your life.

Scott Benner 18:50
Yeah, yeah. You can tap out of a match anytime, right? You could just tell the referee, like I'm done. Is that right? I

Elizabeth 18:55
mean, yes, but I wouldn't suggest it, because your match only usually lasts about four minutes, so there's really no point in tapping out honestly. Okay, you want to you want to persevere. You want to push through. You want to do as much as you can in the time that you're given and get the best results you can Okay,

Scott Benner 19:14
and is it more about physical strength or using your opponents like motion against them. Like I hear people talk about that, I don't think I understand that completely.

Elizabeth 19:25
I think that's based on the person you are as a fighter and the person you're fighting. So in my personal category, I'm actually on the smaller side in terms of height. I'm only about 5556, and most of the girls I fight are about 510, 511, some even six feet. So a lot of these times, I can't simply muscle my way through them, because they just have longer arms, longer legs. They can reach their techniques better. So I have to use a little bit of a combination of that strength to get them moving, but then also the speed and technique that I've been developing throughout my. Charge you to life.

Scott Benner 20:00
Talk about the technique is it? Is it as specific as I feel pressure here, so I reach for this hold. Like, it's a lot of holds, right? Like, like, how would you explain what you're doing to somebody who has no idea about it? Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah.

Elizabeth 20:18
So the way that we like to describe how you get someone moving is, we call it action reaction. So if I'm going to do something, so if I'm going to push you backwards, you're going to react and try and react forwards. So as a judoka, we tend to use that action reaction to our own advantage. So if I'm going to, if I want to throw this person forwards, I'm going to get them moving backwards so that their reaction is going to come forwards, and that'll facilitate the throw for me,

Scott Benner 20:45
okay? Then you take their motion, their their forward motion, and you throw them with it. Yeah, got it, okay, and then, and a lot of it's about that, right? Like, technique, like responding properly, and then for you, being fast. Like, is that the idea that you so you're quicker, but some of those longer girls, maybe like, are structurally more I don't know what the word is capable. Is that, right?

Elizabeth 21:11
Yeah, yeah, I would say that I definitely rely a lot on the speed and the the mechanics of the technique that I like, which is called a drop technique. So it's actually one where I drop to my knees and then I continue to roll, which loads the person onto my back and turns them onto their own back.

Scott Benner 21:28
Is this an Olympic sport?

Elizabeth 21:32
It is actually,

Scott Benner 21:33
do you have eyes on that? Or is that not the level you're at? For

Elizabeth 21:37
me, I have not been training to the level where I would go to the Olympics. However, we did just send multiple Canadian athletes, including a girl in the under 57 category, to the Olympics. Oh, cool. From your group. No, not from our group, but she is a Canadian athlete who has trained out of Alberta. Am

Scott Benner 21:55
I using the word Dojo incorrectly? If I say, Are you involved in that?

Elizabeth 21:59
No, Dojo is just the name of the space that we use for our training. For our club, actually, we don't have our own facility currently, okay, although we are getting one for the next season, which, yeah, yes, oh, cool. But we actually work out of a local YMCA. So for Judo, you have the Tommy mats. So they're the mats that you do your the sport on. So every class we have Monday, Wednesday, and we have Saturday, we come and we lay down our mats, and then we teach our younger kids classes, which I also help participate in, and then I also do my own classes, which are the late class in the evening, and then we have to put all of our tatami mats away afterwards. Elizabeth, how

Scott Benner 22:37
do you stop yourself from getting what they call cauliflower ear?

Elizabeth 22:40
So I have yet to have an experience with cauliflower ear. Knock on wood. I'm very lucky for that, but I have had a couple of friends in my sport who have had cauliflower ear. The solution to it is simply getting it drained repeatedly. And while it's a very painful process, or so I hear, it prevents your ear from getting that massive swelling around it,

Scott Benner 23:01
wow, that's just from the rubbing and the grinding on the ear. Is that, right? Is that also, like bacteria from the mat? Or no, yeah, is it, I don't know. Isn't that funny? That's, that's what I want to know about. How does that happen? Because it's, it's frightening when people have it. You know what? I mean? Like, visually, you're like, wow, that's feels crazy, but and I just, I'm thinking of you like you just, you're so young, you know what I mean? And I know you don't think of yourself that way, but I'm like, Oh, my God, I don't want to have a big thing on her ear. Do you roll with men and women, or do women stay with women? Men, with men.

Elizabeth 23:36
So in competition, it is just male, just female. You're competing against a girl if you're a girl, and you're competing against a guy if you're a guy. But in the club, it is beneficial to work with everyone on your competitive team, and it helps you, and it helps them, and it creates better bonds between you and your teammates. So I tend to roll with pretty much anyone on the meds, even the guys who are a lot bigger or the guys who are a lot smaller, just everyone is kind of included. But it is important that me, as an athlete and as someone who has technique and skill, but also some strengths that I modify the way that I fight different types of people. So if I'm fighting a younger kid or someone who's a little bit smaller than me, I'm not just going to out muscle them, out strength them. I'm going to use a little bit more technique try and work with something I don't usually do, but if I'm fighting someone who's bigger and a lot better than me, fingers crossed that they're toning down their strength a little bit, and I'll be working on my specific techniques for someone who is bigger, who is taller than me. Gotcha,

Scott Benner 24:37
do you see Judo as a strictly athletic endeavor, or do you think of it as therapeutic as well?

Elizabeth 24:44
I would say, I would definitely say both. There are some days where I'm like, oh my goodness, I gotta go to judo. But every single time that I get on those mats and when I come off afterwards, I feel like a different person. I could be having the worst day in the world if I go to a judo class I come off. Mats, I'm smiling, I'm happy, I'm joking with my friends. It's such a way to get out all of those feelings that you might not be able to express otherwise. And it's it's just so much fun, like it's hard not to be happy. Once you come off the mats after a good day of like a hard sweat and good training,

Scott Benner 25:17
you have a feeling for what it is that the that the activity releases, or what it's, what it's giving you that you didn't have in your day? Is it just the aggression thing,

Elizabeth 25:26
maybe a little bit. But I find just just getting on the mats and, like, not having to, like, talk to someone while I'm just doing a little sparring match, is just kind of the best therapy, because I'm there, I'm in the zone. It's like, okay, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this, and I'm gonna throw. And then when it works out, it's like, yes, like, I got this. We're doing this. And it's so therapeutic,

Scott Benner 25:50
yeah, so you feel accomplished, too, if you can, like, hold, grip, hold, throw, and you're like, Wow, I did it. Like, I like, I matched their emotion. I I got my technique ahead of theirs, and I kind of won this moment. Definitely, definitely feels okay. That's really interesting. Okay. Now, what about with diabetes? Like, when you first started judo, you didn't have it. Did you notice changes? Like, is it more anaerobic or aerobic of an exercise? Because it feels like it's both. It

Elizabeth 26:18
definitely is both. I found with diabetes, I had to actually tone back quite a bit on the like, the amount of utero that I was doing, simply because I wasn't quite sure how my own body worked in coordination with it. So I had to figure out, like, Okay, how do I do this? How do I manage my diabetes when I don't have insulin running, or this or that?

Scott Benner 26:40
So it took you months, years to figure out how to manage insulin with judo. Or do you still struggle with it? Or is it a thing you understand now?

Elizabeth 26:49
I would say that I understand it pretty well right now, and I'm fairly lucky. I have parents who work in the medical field, so they're really, really helpful, especially in competition. I feel like I have a good handle on what I need to do is sometimes, sometimes it's a little bit hard to do it, or it's like, oh no. There's a moment where, like, I didn't give a Bolus or this, and it's like, I'm still working at perfecting it, but I understand my body a lot better.

Scott Benner 27:15
Yeah, your parents are in the medical field. Yeah. Is it like, can you be in specific, but tell me about like, kind of what they

Elizabeth 27:23
do? Uh, yeah. So my my stepdad, he works, is as a trauma doctor at the hospital here, and then my mom is, she works in orthopedics, so it's like casting and like fixing bones and all that cool stuff.

Scott Benner 27:36
Oh, wow. Oh, is that how they met? Did they meet at the hospital? I

Elizabeth 27:40
think they met at a work related party, but I'm not entirely sure. I'd have to brush up on that.

Scott Benner 27:47
Don't worry. It's okay. Do you meet people to date at judo? Like, new people? I mean, like, you know, have you ever, like, met somebody you've been interested in, like, romantically at judo? Or do those things not mix? I

Elizabeth 28:00
know people who have, but I try to avoid any kind of romantic feelings with anyone on my club. I definitely picture them more as, like, my brothers and my sisters and like those people that, like, I'm really, really close with and I have, like, share a really strong bond of friendship and, like, almost like sibling rivalry with, yeah, I gotcha, but I don't think I could ever see myself romantically interested in anyone at my club specifically interesting.

Scott Benner 28:25
Can I ask, why is it just because you're so close to them, or is it because they're involved in judo? I

Elizabeth 28:30
would say a combination of the two. I'm really close with them, so I don't think I could see myself in a romantic relationship with any of them as well as we're all focused on doing better and improving in judo. Plus a lot of them have significant others outside of judo, so I just tend to stay away from it. I was just

Scott Benner 28:45
wondering if it's a thing you didn't want to mix because of the focus of judo and, like, if you now you're suddenly romantic with somebody, if that maybe ruins what that thing is like, it's because it seems like it's such a specific thing, I don't know. Like, I was just wondering, okay, you wear a pump, or do you inject?

Elizabeth 29:03
So I have a T slim. I am a pump certified, yay,

Scott Benner 29:08
using control. IQ, yes, I do with Dexcom. G6 Yeah. G6 okay. How long have you been wearing that?

Elizabeth 29:16
So I've had the Dexcom, I want to say, like, almost three years now, and the pump just under that, so, like two ish, so

Scott Benner 29:26
you take it off, obviously, to compete. Yes, yeah.

Elizabeth 29:31
So I just for the Tesla. I'm lucky. It's just you can detach it from the pump site, but my CGM stays in. So I actually use something called a co band, or like, vet wrap, and it's basically, it's almost like a tensor bandage that I just wrap around wherever my CGM and my pump side are, and it helps us so they don't get ripped out while I'm competing. Kind

Scott Benner 29:51
of makes it feel like it's part of you, so it can't get pulled on. Yeah, and then do you so you're disconnecting. So do you have the ball? Let's be for you disconnect. I'm trying to decide if the anaerobic, anaerobic things cancel each other out, or if you get high from muscleing or low from movement while you're while you're doing this.

Elizabeth 30:14
So that's actually the fun part. It can go in any which way. There's were

Scott Benner 30:19
you saying fun sarcastically. Elizabeth, yes, okay, yes, very much. All right,

Elizabeth 30:26
but I actually so for competitions, we do actually bullish thing between my matches. So on a good day, I'll have between like four and six matches maybe. So there can be between like five to 10 minutes, or like, three hours between those matches. It kind of depends on the bracket and what happens in the matches, but I always I'm giving small, like units between like one and three every hour or so to keep myself level. But I'm also pairing that with drinking, like my Powerade and having, like, some protein while I'm waiting for my fights, that'll that helps me sustain longer, but the insulin keeps me from going too high.

Scott Benner 31:11
Okay, I see, so see, it's a pretty involved thing for you. So how long does like it the match you said maybe is like four minutes, but then they're sitting around, then you roll again. Or do you roll once a day? Or how does that work?

Elizabeth 31:24
So that depends on how many people you have in your category. For me, I don't usually have more than, like six, so I'll have usually, like five fights in a

Scott Benner 31:33
day. Okay, spread out over how much time I'm sorry, five fights over, that depends.

Elizabeth 31:37
So if I win and I win and I win and I continue to just win, the matches will be fairly close together, but if I win and then I lose one, then I drop down to the rep a charge, which is the bronze medal bracket, and then I have to wait quite a while before those matches actually start. So it can be between like an hour, or it can be between like three hours. You

Scott Benner 31:59
have, like, a little kitchen worth of supplies with you when you go every time. Oh, yeah.

Elizabeth 32:04
Sometimes. I also have younger siblings, right? So we have lots of snacks and stuff for them. Oh, they

Scott Benner 32:09
also are into judo. Yep, my whole family is actually, oh, really, no kidding. You go over there, like, like, The Incredibles, but for Judo, yeah, yeah, I have a question that I feel like you're going to answer in an unsatisfying way, but why are you so mature and smart? Well,

Elizabeth 32:27
I mean, I try to be I'm also the oldest of four kids, so I help look after them as much as I can, and then, like diabetes, right? So I have to be a little bit more mature and able to be able to handle that by myself.

Scott Benner 32:42
So yeah, but that's not, that's not a real answer. Hold on a second. Like, are your are your parents? Like, are they, like, super special, calm people. Were you raised really? Well? Are you making up for something like, what's like? You're uncommonly together for your age. Do you know that about your skin? Well, you're very welcome. But do you know that about yourself?

Elizabeth 33:04
I mean, I've had some people tell me that I'm quite mature for my age. And I'm like, Oh, thank you. I tried always been like that. I definitely was not when I was young. I was I was a little rascal. I was a wild child, actually. So

Scott Benner 33:17
you just said rascal. I feel like we're 75 together. You're fantastic. You're like dating. It'll ruin judo. No. Hold on. You're really interesting to hear because so here, here begs the question, right? When you're diagnosed with type one, do your parents help you with it a lot, or do they just give it to you? Is it a mix.

Elizabeth 33:40
So in the beginning, they helped me a lot, specifically my mom. She she was like, right there. She was like, she held my hand through a lot of the things where I just didn't understand at the time. But over the past couple years, they've given me a lot more, like control with it, and now I primarily do most of the things, although I'm grateful because at competition, my parents are there to help me out when I'm like, running around like a headless chick, and I'm like, Where's where's my belt? Where's this? And my mom was like, take some insulin. And I'm like, it's, it's a really nice reminder when she's there.

Scott Benner 34:13
Nice. Okay, so it started off them, and it transferred to you slowly, and over the last couple of years it's been mostly you, but they still help.

Speaker 1 34:21
Yes, yeah, all right,

Scott Benner 34:24
it's not answering my question, though. I'm trying to figure out, why are you good in school? You get, like, really good grades.

Elizabeth 34:31
I mean, I'm not exceptional. I'm not like a 90s student, but I'm like a fair 80s average kind of person, okay,

Scott Benner 34:38
above average grades, not fantastic. I would say that's just average, but Okay, does it come to you easily, or do you have to work to get to where you're at with your grades? School

Elizabeth 34:50
is not my forte. Test taking is not where it's at. I definitely have to work hard and study lots like all the time to get the kind of grades that I want. I. Even then it's still, it's still really hard. What

Scott Benner 35:01
do you want to do after school? Like the are you going to go to what they call University?

Elizabeth 35:05
Yes, actually, I have been accepted to the University of Alberta in a psychology major. Oh, look

Scott Benner 35:11
at you. I was going to say, what do you want to go for? But there you've answered the question, something you've always been interested

Elizabeth 35:17
in, not originally, originally. I was like, I want to be a doctor, like my parents, like, I'm going to be a doctor. And then, kind of, as I kept growing up, I was like, I don't know what kind of doctor I want to be, maybe this kind, maybe this kind. And then I got diabetes, and I was like, I'm going to be an endocrinologist. Like, Heck, yeah, I am. And then slowly, for sure, I was like, hmm, Kinesiology is cool. Maybe physiotherapy. And then I was like, You know what? No psychology.

Scott Benner 35:43
You're just bouncing around. You don't, you don't, you know, I have to tell you, I just this summer, I've really come to think, like, just how ridiculous it is that we ask 17 year old kids to pick a thing that they're going to do for the rest of their life. It just doesn't, I mean, I understand why you got to get going. You know what I mean? Like, I'm with all that. It's just such an odd thing. Like, how are you supposed to know, you know what I mean,

Elizabeth 36:09
preaching to the choir, man, yeah.

Scott Benner 36:11
And also, you're somehow, like a little mix of a hippie and an old lady at the same time. How did that happen? You know what I'm saying, don't you?

Unknown Speaker 36:23
Yeah, yeah.

Scott Benner 36:25
Does it freak you out when a person who doesn't know you can talk to you for half an hour and start like thinking about who you are?

Elizabeth 36:32
No, no. I mean, I'm not a very like I mean, I would say I'm a little bit introverted when I used to meet most people, but I'm a fairly chatty kind of outgoing person in general. So it is what it is, yeah?

Scott Benner 36:44
But you, you have, like, a, I don't know your vibe is interesting. It's like, upbeat, but old soul, but not crunchy. Does that all make sense? Yeah? Yeah.

Elizabeth 36:57
I'll take the compliment. I'll take

Scott Benner 36:58
it. Listen. Whoever you are is a compliment, as far as I'm concerned, but it's just your mixture is interesting. That's all. What do you like to do, besides judo, so I'm big

Elizabeth 37:08
into, actually, just like physical activity in general. I love, like, mountain biking. I used to be a dancer, so I love dance, just being outside, pretty much just kind of my vibe. But I also do love art, um, I love drawing kind of, kind of anything like that. Okay,

Scott Benner 37:23
so solitary. You like more solitary endeavors.

Elizabeth 37:27
On occasion, I like doing these things, like, with people, like, I'll go and I'll bike with some friends or with my parents, or, like, we'll go on a bike ride with my dog, because I have a lovely little Australian Shepherd.

Scott Benner 37:39
It's interesting though, like, because I guess maybe a lot of stuff is like that. I was gonna say, like, you're doing group activities, but they're singularly focused. Once you're involved in them, you could kind of say that about judo too, honestly, that's what I'm saying. But I think everything's kind of like that. Though, if you stop and really think about it, like, how many things are you actually holding hands with somebody while you're doing? You know what? I mean?

Elizabeth 37:59
Sure true. Maybe, I

Scott Benner 38:00
think I might have just out thought myself in a circle, and then when I got to the end, I was like, oh, dummy, that's how that works. Do your siblings, your younger siblings, know anything about the diabetes?

Elizabeth 38:10
So I have three younger brothers, two of which are, like, fairly young. One of them just turns five this August. The other one is seven. Oh, so, oh, oh,

Scott Benner 38:20
that's right, your parents are, it's a second marriage for your mom, right? Yeah,

Elizabeth 38:24
yeah. Those are my half brothers, yeah. And then I have my other brother who actually lives with his biological father, and he just turned 16. He turned 15. You have

Scott Benner 38:34
a half brother that lives with his biological father, but that's also your biological father.

Elizabeth 38:38
Not quite. Hold on, my mom give birth to me and my brother? Yeah, and he is 15. He lives with our bio dad, okay, but I live with my mom and my step dad and my two half brothers. I

Scott Benner 38:49
got it, okay, okay. I thought there was, like, I misunderstood for a second. Don't worry about okay, so they're not totally they're they're younger, really, is the answer. What's the kids you live

Elizabeth 39:00
with? They're goofballs. And sometimes when I'm sitting there and I'm like, Guys, just like, leave me alone. Leave me alone, they'll be gone. They'll come over and be like, Lizzy, what are your blood sugars? You're being grumpy. I'm like, Guys, yeah, there's, there's silly little goofballs. It's

Scott Benner 39:15
nice. Wait till they get bigger, they'll be silly big goofballs. Oh, definitely. So okay, so after this university psychology, but you're gonna keep I mean, Judo stays in your life for

Elizabeth 39:28
sure. Yeah, definitely, definitely okay.

Scott Benner 39:31
Is it a thing that you recognize that one day, physically, you won't be able to do or do you think you just do it with a little less gusto as you get older so you can continue?

Elizabeth 39:40
I think anything is possible. My stepdad is over 40, and he still competes interprovincially and wins golds and competes internationally and wins medals. So I think I can go for as long as possible, do this

Scott Benner 39:54
every weekend, like every weekend, you get up on Saturday morning and go off to a to an event. So

Elizabeth 39:59
we. Of our trainings, they're weekly. We have three times a week, but our competition season, well, most of our competition season just actually finished after we had nationals, which was about two weeks ago. A little more than that, maybe three. But we probably have about a competition, maybe two a month. And we also have mandatory monthly trainings with the provincial coach.

Scott Benner 40:23
How does this translate into real life? Like, let's say you're, you're out walking, and a lumberjack that smells like maple syrup comes up behind you and tries to take your purse, right? Like, how do you how do you? Like, how do you fight him off with what you know from judo? So

Elizabeth 40:43
again, it's like Judo is the use of your own body mechanics and then manipulating the body mechanics of your opponent, right? So if he's going to come and he's going to reach for my purse, I'm simply just going to grab his wrist and I'm going to turn and throw him, because he's going to be going forwards towards me. So I'm just continuing his momentum, this lovely lumberjack momentum. Yeah, I'm barely doing anything. Honestly, I'm just influencing this momentum. Just a temp, okay,

Scott Benner 41:07
so he comes up to you. He's like, Oh, hey, I'm gonna take your purse a and buy beer. And then you're like, you wait for him to come at you, or you, oh, yeah, well, you would run first, right? Like, you'd be like, I could probably outrun this like, like, like, because he's got syrup on his hands, he'll probably slip and so like, like, but you would, but if you got stuck, you wouldn't attack, you'd wait for the attack. Is that correct? That

Elizabeth 41:30
depends really, if he's coming at me and his if he's coming at me first, and I'm like, well, he's coming at me, time to react to his acting. But if he's there and he's like, oh, like, I'm gonna take your purse, but he's just, like, standing there, and there's not really anything happened, I'm not gonna go for an outright fight. But again, if he, if he comes at me, like he's going to do something, I'm going to take the first move in terms of defending myself.

Scott Benner 41:54
And is this so all in is this also just so ingrained in who you are that even if they took you by surprise, you would react, like, reasonably appropriately.

Elizabeth 42:05
I mean, I would hope so, but like a competition. But

Scott Benner 42:09
what happens, like in your house, if somebody comes around the corner and they're like, boo, are you just like, you already have a hold of them and you're moving them? Do you know what I mean? Or like, how quickly does your body go to that like, that memory, that muscle memory.

Elizabeth 42:22
Have you ever heard the quote, fight or flight, that I'm a flightless bird?

Scott Benner 42:26
Okay, so you're right into it. That's kind of

Elizabeth 42:29
the quote that I try to live by.

Scott Benner 42:31
If you didn't have judo, what do you think you would do with all this energy? Because it feels to me like you have extra energy and that, like, expelling just some aggression and tactile or tactical, like, ideas, seems like it's really good for you. Like, where do you think it would go, though, without this?

Elizabeth 42:50
Honestly, I'm, I'm not too sure. I think Judo has really gave me a level head in terms of just, like, being like a good person. Because, like, I think with more free time, there would have been more chance for me to get into trouble, do things I'm not supposed to, you know, like, go drinking, go partying, which is why I appreciate you, though, because it, like, it kept that level head. It kept me focused on a goal. My goal was winning nationals, and it and I wanted, like, constant improvement. Do

Scott Benner 43:19
you think that that's who you are, though? Do you think like, if, if, somehow, if this man doesn't come into your life and say, Hey, you guys should try judo? Do you think you're out there just like drunk? Elizabeth,

Elizabeth 43:31
I'd like to say that. No, I don't think that's me, but I honestly have no idea where my life would have taken me without something as as moral compass, like as judo. Interesting? Are you religious? No, not really.

Scott Benner 43:46
Is this your religion?

Elizabeth 43:48
I would say Judo is my religion. I would say that, okay,

Scott Benner 43:52
I'm interested because I don't drink as an example. But I think if you I don't, I don't imagine, I can't imagine, what would move me in that direction, like even if my life got bad, I don't think that that's a direction I would go into, because I wonder if you're not giving yourself enough credit for who you are, is what I was wondering,

Elizabeth 44:12
potentially. But I think without my step dad being in my life as well, it would have changed me a lot as a person. Sure, I really look up to him, and I really aspire to be a person as awesome and cool and sophisticated as he is. Wow, so not even just Judo itself, but him not being in my life definitely would have made me a different person.

Scott Benner 44:32
So I don't want to I don't want to discount that. I just want to say that I think it would be okay to give yourself some like credit, like that. You wouldn't be like a person out there, like, just a ne'er do well, like, you know, skulking around in the shadows, breaking car windows and stuff like that. I just don't, doesn't sound to me like that's who you would be. What about him specifically? Are you so reverent about like, what is he? How does he appear to you? If you had to describe him to me? Would you say about him?

Elizabeth 45:00
Well, first and foremost, he is an amazing like judoka. He is incredible at the sport that he does. He holds, like, international titles and like several competitions, and it's like, Whoa. That is awesome. He is, like, a well established man who, like, works in the medical field, and he's good at his job, and he's just like a goofy, outgoing guy, but he also can be like stoic and like reserved, and he's just got so many different contrasts and different angles to him that are so unique and so interesting, and it makes him just a really awesome person as well. He really stepped up as a father figure in my life for a number of my elementary school kind of years. So I really, I really look up to him like that.

Scott Benner 45:45
Yeah, no, I imagine that's lovely. Your mom. She's just okay. I

Elizabeth 45:49
love my mom. I have I share such a special bond with my mom. She is my number one fan. She is my go to girl. She's not just my mom, she's also like my best friend. And it's like the best relationship I could have asked for. Wow,

Scott Benner 46:02
what's the worst thing you've ever thought in your head about another person?

Elizabeth 46:06
There was a girl I was competing against, and I I had won against her several a year before, but in the process, I had accidentally broke her collar bone with a throw, and when she came back the next year. She beat me at the same tournament, and then she slandered me all over social media. I was a little bit sour above that.

Scott Benner 46:27
Yeah, sour. You were just a bit sour. Were you? Yeah, so, so you humiliated her. She came back with an eye on getting even she does that, but then she has to go and do something online too.

Elizabeth 46:43
Yeah, that is disappointing a little bit. It's okay. My, my sweet moment of revenge was I beat her at nationals to win the gold.

Scott Benner 46:54
Oh, look at you. You got her back eventually, eventually, it took a little while I got there. Did you whisper anything in her ear while you were, like, choking her out or whatever you were doing there,

Elizabeth 47:03
no no that the drill maps, the tatamis where you are competing is almost as is a sacred place. Oh, you can't there was no disrespect there. You can't

Scott Benner 47:14
whisper. I wouldn't have put that on Instagram if I was you while you were, like, making her rethink her life. No,

Elizabeth 47:20
no, okay, in a match. One, you can't talk because you'll get in trouble. And two, it is, it is incredibly difficult for a person to come out and compete in front of a huge stadium for like a like a national title, so I do my best, even if I despise someone I'm fighting with every fiber of my being, I'm never going to disrespect them in a tournament match. I will never, even though

Scott Benner 47:49
go I'm sorry, even though she was disrespectful to you, you wouldn't consider being a being disrespectful back to her. Just you'll just try to beat her. And if you can good, and if not, then, okay.

Elizabeth 47:59
Yeah, exactly. Wow.

Scott Benner 48:03
Geez. Are, like, are people in your town, like, lining up trying to get you to marry their son? No, no, no, they're missing out. I would, I would definitely, if I had a 17 year old son, I'd be definitely pushing him towards you right now. I'd be like, Elizabeth, here, meet my kid. No, yeah, you're, you're, you're special. I would actually, if anything horrible happens to your parents, I might adopt you. So let me know if you need anything. Okay,

Unknown Speaker 48:27
thank you. No, you'd

Scott Benner 48:29
be good respect. I you listen. You'd make me look good. That's what I'm thinking. Get it? I mean, they'd be like, Oh my god, Elizabeth, right. I'm like, Hey, I know I taught her a lot. That's what I would say. Like, behind your back. I take a lot of credit for you. Well, listen, as a person who slander is a tough word, because it because I don't know if I would say that, but I've been slandered before. It's very it's infuriating, like it really is, because it goes beyond somebody's opinion, like, I don't mind if people don't like me. I fully almost expect that I don't care if people don't like me, and they tell their people they don't like me, that even makes sense to me, but making something up because it's hurtful and because you think it will damage somebody or make you feel better, or whatever. Like, I have a real difficult time with that, and I never, even though I have the ability to and a platform to do it on, I don't strike back in a way that would damage somebody, and I could, and I've been brought to the brink of it a couple of times, but I've never actually done it. So I applaud you, because it's difficult, and I'm an adult, and I still sat down and wrote something out just to delete it the other day because somebody in a public setting lied about me in front of a bunch of other people, and I could have and I know a thing about them that they did directly, that I was aware of this part. Person's actions are just so despicable, and they try so hard not to to look they try very hard to look like that's not who they can be. And I don't know them well enough to tell you that's who they are every second of the day, but I've seen them be like that a number of times I have like and I could have outed them, and it would have been really damaging to them, and I didn't do it, but it's the closest I've ever come to doing it. So I know how difficult it is to, like, pull yourself back, and you seem very much more mature than I am actually with your answer. But anyway, I want to give you a lot of credit for that, because it would be easy to strike back, you know,

Elizabeth 50:39
thank you.

Scott Benner 50:40
Thank you, of course, good for you. I don't understand still, you're an alien, right? You were dropped here. You're watching us from Mars or something, and you're trying to, like, blend in. What's going on exactly? I still don't buy this. Why you're so nice. You don't do anything terrible. You ever kick a dog? No, no, what? No,

Elizabeth 50:57
I have a dog. I love dogs.

Scott Benner 51:01
Okay? I didn't think so. You ever stick gum under a desk? No, you would never do that. Would you? No, do you take your shoes off when you come into somebody else's house? Yes, get the out of here, really? Oh, my God. Do

Elizabeth 51:15
you curse on occasion?

Scott Benner 51:17
What's your favorite curse word? Say it now, unburden yourself. It'll get believed. So whatever you say, no one's gonna know what you

Speaker 1 51:24
said. I don't know. That's a good question. I don't know. I don't know. Oh, my God.

Scott Benner 51:34
Seriously, like, what's you do? You have a go. What are you? You're walking through. Here you go. You're walking through the room, you don't have any shoes on, and you kick something and you yell, is it? No,

Elizabeth 51:49
damn. You're gonna laugh at me for this one. I would I would stub my toe, and I would say, Mother of all, that is holy.

Scott Benner 51:57
Is that a curse? No, it's just what I would say. But you're also not religious, no, but you would never say Jesus Christ if something bad happened. Oh, no, I definitely say that one. That one you say, okay, all right. Have you ever said Christ on a cracker? I love that one.

Unknown Speaker 52:16
I'm sorry.

Scott Benner 52:17
What you've never heard that?

Elizabeth 52:19
No, it's now in my arsenal. Now, wait, wait,

Scott Benner 52:22
wait, hold on a second. We have a question to be I don't know where that came from. Let's find the etymology of Hold on a second. What is the etymology

Unknown Speaker 52:34
of Christ on a cracker?

Scott Benner 52:39
The phrase Christ on a cracker, is an exclamation used to express surprise, disbelief, frustration, or exasperation, is considered a euphemism to avoid using more explicit or blasphemous language, substituting a mild or less offensive expression while still conveying strong emotions. Christ refers, of course, to Jesus. Christ, central to Christianity, etc. On a cracker, this part of the phrase adds a touch of absurdity and humor, making the expression less offensive than outright blasphemy. It also suddenly refers a Christian practice of communion. That's what I thought, too, where bread symbolizes the body of Christ, overall. Christ on a cracker serves as a colorful and emphatic way to express strong reaction. Please go to that one the next time you stub your toe, okay, I will. And if people say, What did you just say, Go. I learned that on a podcast. I would please tell people that was, by the way, our chat GPT Overlord, who gave us that breakdown of the etymology of Christ on the cracker. Lovely, yeah. Also, I was typing and not looking completely missed on Etymology and chat, G, P, T, still knew what I was asking, so be aware it's coming for you and me. So psychology, you find people interesting. Why they do things interesting? You want to help them feel better. What's the also? I don't think this is what you're gonna end up doing. I think you're gonna change like, 17 more times, but what interests you about it?

Elizabeth 54:03
So actually, we had a Japanese exchange student come and stay with us for a little while. He also did judo, so he was staying with us and training with us at our club, and he was actually doing his studies in sports psychology, and I found it really interesting. And I was like, hmm, that seems like a really cool profession. And then another of the gentleman at our club, he also him and his wife. I'm good friends with his kid, him and his wife. They're both sports psychologists. I was like, I was talking to him about it. He was like, yeah, like, it's really cool. Like, this the kind of stuff you do. I was like, but I also, I have, I have a soft spot for kids, since my brothers are awesome sauce, but I definitely would go into either sports psychology or child psychology. Elizabeth, every

Scott Benner 54:48
time you talk, I just assume you're not a real person. You're so kind and lovely, and everything you say, I'm like, oh my god, this is amazing.

Unknown Speaker 54:57
Thank you. Seriously,

Scott Benner 54:58
you. I'm like, What the hell is happening? All right? Well, terrific. Let's make sure. Did let's go back and make sure. Did we talk about or not talk about anything that you wanted to Did I miss anything? That's my first question, Not particularly, no. Did you cover things that you were hoping to talk about? The other

Elizabeth 55:19
thing we didn't really talk about was there's something I do called intermittent fasting.

Scott Benner 55:24
Oh, I would like to talk about that. I've done that in the past. Go ahead, tell me, yeah.

Elizabeth 55:29
So the diabetes clinic actually does not like it when I do intermittent fasting, but so the way that they like to or how I've perceived the way that they like to help manage, like a diabetic blood sugar, is the constant use of like food and like sustenance, because, like with food, you can give more insulin and so on so forth. But I found that an important aspect of participating in judo, like to maintain weight and just increase my overall performance, has to do with the intermittent fasting on non tournament days, I try to refrain from eating for around 16 hours each day, sometimes 18. This gives me a chance to focus on like my background and my basal insulin and generally keeps my blood sugars at like a more steady rate on the days where I don't fast, which is usually just like my competition days, or the days where I have, like, like those post tournament training camps, I usually start the day off with some protein and, like, liquids, and I stay light on the heavy carbs, because those are what spike my blood sugar really bad, and then it just kind of stays up for when I'm doing judo for the rest of the day. Instead, I eat those heavier carbs later at night to help rebuild any muscles that I might have broken down a bit during the day, and those carbs actually helped me maintain my blood sugar better overnight on competition days as well. Why would your doctors have a problem with that? They just don't like the fact that I'm only eating about two meals a day. What's

Scott Benner 56:59
your a 1c

Elizabeth 56:59
my a 1c right now is, I think it's around seven.

Scott Benner 57:04
And what's your variability like? Do you bounce? Do you get over 180 very often? Well, no, hold on a second. You're in Canada. Sorry about that. Give me a second. Juicebox podcast, calm a 1c and blood glucose calculator. Type in. You got to get a plug in once in a while. You know what I mean, put in 180 so 10, right? You get above 10 very often.

Elizabeth 57:26
Sometimes I find that when I'm fasting, I actually don't get above 10 very often. I honestly stay lower about where, on a good day, when I wake up in the morning and my blood sugars are around six, I tend to hover between like six and like four

Scott Benner 57:41
Okay, so like between 70 and 110 that's really great. So yeah, and you don't have a ton of variability. Do you know what your do? You happen to know what your, oh, God, simple phrase just fell out of my head. A standard deviation is my standard of deviation. Do you know that you have you ever go into your Dexcom clarity app and look at your standard deviation.

Elizabeth 58:03
Yes. I mean, I haven't done it recently, but I have. Usually I stay between about six and, like, eight, nine.

Scott Benner 58:10
Really, I don't know what, why didn't All right, what is,

Unknown Speaker 58:16
I don't understand. Like, do you think

Scott Benner 58:18
it's just one of those situations where that's like, that's just how they do it. They don't know how to support you. Maybe

Elizabeth 58:23
they also told me, like in the past, or whatever. So I've also gone to, like, diabetes camp and stuff like that. Again, they use food to help manage, like, blood sugar. So they recommend eating like breakfast, a breakfast snack, lunch, like an afternoon snack, and then evening snack, and then, like, dinner, and then, like, a bedtime snack.

Scott Benner 58:43
So they're feeding people on such a schedule that they don't have an opportunity to get low. Yeah, yeah,

Elizabeth 58:49
which I struggle with, because in tournaments, like, we have to, like, weigh in for our competition, so we're fighting people roughly our size. Like, that's why I do the intermittent fasting. It helps me maintain, like, a healthy weight and sit at the spot where I want to be at. Yeah, I'll be, Damn It's upsetting,

Scott Benner 59:06
isn't it, that they can't just kind of meet you where you are and see that you're having success and try to support that.

Elizabeth 59:11
I mean, I see, I see why they don't, why they're like, why they recommend that I should be eating more. It works for me, so I'm going to continue to do it? No,

Scott Benner 59:21
you should. Does it make you feel bad? That's my worry for you. Seems so goddamn nice. Like, do you like? Do you sit there and feel badly about what you're doing? Not at all good. Yeah, you got a spine for that stuff. Seriously, you you have a you have a resilience that you said you used to work grit earlier, if you knew that or not, because I was busy going, I don't know why a 17 year old knows the word grit, but, but do you feel like is that A is that a central part of your personality, like that resilience?

Elizabeth 59:50
I would say I think so. Like being a diabetic and someone who does judo and like a female and someone who's like, had like a. Rough childhood, or whatever you want to call it like I think, I think resilience is a pretty good way to I mean, I'm still here, right? So

Scott Benner 1:00:07
tell me how your childhood was rough.

Elizabeth 1:00:09
My parents divorced when I was about two and a half after they had my my brother, so I spent a lot of time going back and forth between the houses, and there was some conflict there, as well as some like Anim. I don't want to say animosity, because that's the strong word, but there was definitely some conflict between the houses. So when my mom started dating and when she got married again, my dad was mad and this and that, and it was like a constant band here between the two households. Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:00:35
that makes sense. Okay, so the divorce is where you feel like you had your first opportunity, where you kind of could have gone backwards a little bit like something could have happened to you, but you didn't like you kept going in the direction that you went, and even though you don't have, like, a firm feeling for where you want to go in life after this, which we both agree, is not something you should probably even know when you're 17. But does that feel like an unknown to you? Like I would say, Yeah, and you deal with it by knowing what it's going to be okay.

Elizabeth 1:01:09
I think I deal with it knowing that even if I don't know where I'm going right now, like my this is going to sound corny, but the adventure towards where I'm gonna end up is one of the best things, right?

Scott Benner 1:01:25
It doesn't sound corny. It sounds like you're 46 and you're fan and you've been through a little bit of but you really understand life.

Elizabeth 1:01:35
I try. Has

Scott Benner 1:01:36
anything really horrifying ever happened in your life? Have you ever lost someone or anything that we would like think of as traumatic as ever happened to you, beyond the divorce.

Elizabeth 1:01:47
Well, I mean, three years ago or three years ago, yeah, this October, my my uncle, so my mom's brother, her little brother, he, he passed away unexpectedly. Obviously, yeah, that that hit my entire family, including me, like a semi truck. Him and my mom were really close. I was also really close with him. We would talk almost all the time. We spent a lot of time together. So that was that was a devastating blow to our entire family.

Scott Benner 1:02:21
How did you guys traverse that?

Elizabeth 1:02:23
It was tough. I think we're still going through a couple of the ripples of the aftermath and stuff like that. I tried my best to stay strong for my mom, because it was, it was her little brother, and I could not imagine losing one of my little brothers, sure. So I just, I tried to stay strong for her and support her any way I knew I could. Definitely went and talked to some people as well. You

Scott Benner 1:02:46
went to therapy, yeah, but then the focus is on being supportive for your mom, like that, doing it for her, like, you'll be strong for someone else. Yes. Do you think she did that for you in return?

Elizabeth 1:02:58
Yeah, probably it's kind of in her nature. Like, that's where I got it from.

Scott Benner 1:03:02
I have a central belief that if people who love each other put each other first, that a lot of things take care of themselves.

Elizabeth 1:03:08
Does that make sense? Yeah, like,

Scott Benner 1:03:11
like, if I'm here for you before me, and you're here for me before you, then we all are supported, and we all feel like we have a like, a greater purpose within our structure, and then it kind of blends out a lot of the problems that come with selfishness and and feeling alone.

Elizabeth 1:03:31
Yeah, that's a really nice way to look at it. Thank

Scott Benner 1:03:33
you. It's a high minded idea I have that I'm not sure that I live up to. Hmm, now that you and I have spoken, do you like me more or less?

Elizabeth 1:03:44
I like you a lot. You're a fun guy. We're

Scott Benner 1:03:48
gonna call this episode Canadian fungus, because I'm a because I'm a fun guy and and you're Canadian, of course, or the Alberta surprise, although that sounds weird, I don't maybe you're you're too young for me to tell you what I thought that sounded like. So maybe we should. We're not gonna say that. Thank God you told me you were 17 before we started, because I knew to like I wasn't sure you come off so adult that I would never in my life have guessed you were 17 if you wouldn't

Elizabeth 1:04:19
have told me. Seriously, that's what I'm aiming for. That's what we're aiming for.

Scott Benner 1:04:22
Why are you aiming for that? Tell me that

Elizabeth 1:04:24
I want to be mature. I want people to go to depend on me and look to me for advice. I want to be there as a good friend and a good person. So I feel like being mature is a good way to start that process. All right. Well, we're

Scott Benner 1:04:36
going to stop the recording here so everyone listening can go off on their day and feel like they are letting someone down compared to you. Seriously, it's not the intent. There are going to be adults all over the world walking around today going, I'm not trying as hard as a 17 year old girl from Alberta. I really got to pull it together. There are also some people who are hoping you end up in prison. I just want you to know that. Oh, okay. They're like, let's see this girl fall in her face. Wait. Oh, something really goes wrong. But yeah, I know I I'm, My money's on you. Elizabeth, thank you. Thank you. I'm gonna put all my loonies, and I think I have four of them here on my desk somewhere. I do, by the way, do I have I somebody sent me Canadian money with the, like, the diabetes, like commemorative stuff on it. Did you do you know that that happened, like, a year or two ago? Yeah? Yeah, I

Elizabeth 1:05:27
have a couple loonies like that. They are loonies because

Scott Benner 1:05:29
I forget if I'm just using the word because I think it's funny, or because they're actually loonies, they might be loonies. They're my desk somewhere. Go through all the Canadian money. Loony, what else is there? Too many quarter I don't know, dime, nickel. Why, in God's name, would they make it Looney and toonie?

Elizabeth 1:05:45
I don't know they're fun. I think it's based off of a Loon, like the bird, but it's like Loon is in one and then toonie, because it's two, $2 Wait,

Scott Benner 1:05:55
is that seriously? A loony is a bird, but a toonie just means two. Loon

Elizabeth 1:06:00
is the type of duck. Go ahead it, yeah, it's just a type of duck. You're like, that shit. Scott, that's

Scott Benner 1:06:07
the whole story. Oh, my God. Have you ever had a Tim bit I have, yeah, and are they any good?

Elizabeth 1:06:19
They taste like bite sized donut pieces. Gotcha. So

Scott Benner 1:06:22
it's nothing special. The chocolate ones, though, are really good. Do you feel controlled by the Queen?

Elizabeth 1:06:29
No, no. We just celebrated our, like, 100 and 52nd year of independence, didn't we? I

Scott Benner 1:06:33
know, but I sometimes I feel like Canadians sometimes have a little bit of that, like, bad feeling left? No,

Elizabeth 1:06:40
I don't think so you

Scott Benner 1:06:41
don't give a crap. Do you? I like you a lot. Sorry. Elizabeth, thanks. All right, I'm gonna go make a baby right now and try to grow it up to be your age, and then I'm gonna send it over to you, because I'd like to see what you could do for it. I also want to point out to my own children that you're not trying hard enough. And Elizabeth is the absolute seriously. You're not even corny.

Elizabeth 1:07:03
You should I'm a little bit corny. No,

Scott Benner 1:07:05
but Elizabeth, you should be, let me be listen. You want to speak. You want to hear some truth right now? Yes, hit me with some truth. You should come off much cornier than you do and you don't, which means it's like it feels authentic. You're freaking me out. I just want you to know that, are your parents freaked out by you? Like, is there a world like, it would have made me feel better if your parents were, like, functioning day drinkers, and they were like, I don't know where she came from, but it feels like they're decent people too, like your staff. You know what I mean? My parents are great. They're great, I know, and I feel like, if they weren't, you'd tell me, right? Yeah, or you talk around it, you would talk around it at least, yeah, like, if your parents weren't really decent people, you wouldn't say that they are would you like, I wouldn't lie about it, right? But you would stay away from it if, seriously, if your mom was a heroin addict, you wouldn't have told me today. Yeah, probably not. I know. I know that about you. I feel like I know you Okay. All right, Elizabeth, you were beyond terrific. I really appreciate you doing this and reaching out. I have to be honest with you, when somebody was like, I want to come on and talk about judo, I was like, oh god, that's gonna be so boring. But okay, and then it wasn't, it was really amazing. So thank you so much. Yeah,

Elizabeth 1:08:22
thank you for having me honestly. This is like a fantastic experience, and I'm really glad that I got this opportunity. Oh,

Scott Benner 1:08:28
I'm glad you feel that way, but, and I believe you, because I know you wouldn't lie to me,

Elizabeth 1:08:36
what was your favorite curse again? What did you say? Mother of all, that is holy.

Scott Benner 1:08:44
But the next time you you stub your toe, you're gonna say, Christ on a cracker. That's right, it's Oh, Christ on a cracker, just like that. And then when people look at you, just go, I learned that on a podcast. Okay, yes, sir. All right, Captain, you're fantastic. Feel free to ask to come back on the show, like when college is over. Okay? Oh, thank you. I would love, I would love to hear how college went for you as a matter of fact. No, don't thank me. As a matter of fact, I'm gonna make a note here for myself. Keep the podcast going for at least five more years so you can hear what Elizabeth did in college. There. You're no no, but I want you to have time to, like, settle in and feel, you know, like reminiscent and everything I am, you're you're now my reason to go on. Thank you very much.

Elizabeth 1:09:30
No, thank you. Seriously,

Scott Benner 1:09:31
hold on one second. You're fantastic.

A huge thank you to one of today's sponsors, gvoke glucagon. Find out more about G vo hypo pen at gvoke glucagon.com, forward slash Juicebox. You spell that, G, V, O, k, e, g, l, U, C, A, G, o, n.com, for. Forward slash juice box. The conversation you just enjoyed was brought to you by us. Med, us. Med.com/juice, box. Or call 888-721-1514, get started today and get your supplies from us. Med, one year one CGM, that's today's sponsor, the ever since 365 learn more and get started today at ever since cgm.com/juicebox, and you may be eligible to receive the system for $199 for a full year. There's more details about eligibility at my link, if you or a loved one was just diagnosed with type one diabetes, and you're looking for some fresh perspective the bold beginning series from the Juicebox podcast is a terrific place to start. That series is with myself and Jenny Smith. Jenny is a CD CES, a registered dietitian and a type one for over 35 years, and in the bowl beginning series, Jenny and I are going to answer the questions that most people have after a type one diabetes diagnosis. The series begins at episode 698, in your podcast player, or you can go to Juicebox podcast.com and click on bold beginnings in the menu. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox podcast. If you're not already subscribed or following the podcast in your favorite audio app like Spotify or Apple podcasts. Please do that now. Seriously, just to hit follow or subscribe will really help the show. If you go a little further in Apple podcast and set it up so that it downloads all new episodes, I'll be your best friend, and if you leave a five star review, ooh, I'll probably send you a Christmas card. Would you like a Christmas card? The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording, wrong way recording.com, you.

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