#1273 After Dark: Wilfred

"Wilfred" has more going on than fits in a blurb. Apple podcast paid subscribers are getting this episode without bleeps.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to episode 1273 of the Juicebox Podcast

Today's episode is a an after dark with a person we're going to be calling Wilford. There's so much in here that makes this an after dark. I don't know how to introduce it. I'm just going to scan my notes and tell you that I see the words traumatic interaction at the hospital bipolar, cocaine crack. And I don't even know a way to say this. His grandfather made a pass at him when he was okay just listen or adult. But I mean, I would if I was you. Those people paying to subscribe on Apple podcasts are getting this episode today with all curse words in it, so you should check that out. Please don't forget that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan for becoming bold with insulin. If you're living with type one diabetes, the afterdark collection from the Juicebox Podcast is the only place to hear the stories that no one else talks about. From drugs to depression, self harm, trauma, addiction, and so much more. The episode you're about to listen to was sponsored by touched by type one. Go check them out right now on Facebook, Instagram and of course at touched by type one.org. Check out that Programs tab when you get to the website to see all the great things that they're doing for people living with type one diabetes touched by type one.org. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the Dexcom G seven, the same CGM that my daughter wears. Check it out now at dexcom.com/juicebox. Today's episode is sponsored by Medtronic diabetes, a company that's bringing people together to redefine what it means to live with diabetes. Later in this episode, I'll be speaking with Jalen, he was diagnosed with type one diabetes at 14. He's 29. Now he's going to tell you a little bit about his story. To hear more stories with Medtronic champions, go to Medtronic diabetes.com/juicebox or search the hashtag Medtronic champion on your favorite social media platform. All right, well, you're being recorded. Now. Do you want me to introduce you? Would it be easier? Or it can you do it without saying your name?

"Wilfred" 2:38
Oh, I don't mind. Go ahead. I am I'm gonna go by Wilford Brimley because I think it's hilarious and I don't care. It's I grew up in the 90s. Anyways, I'm the father of a type one diabetic who was diagnosed October of last year, or I guess two years ago. So about a year and a few months now. He's been diagnosed.

Scott Benner 3:01
Okay, Welford, that's good. Do you really want me to call you that?

"Wilfred" 3:04
I don't care what you call me. But I just think growing up in the 90s. Like, ever since he was diagnosed. I was like, I'm gonna get a tattoo that because it kind of makes me laugh.

Scott Benner 3:14
Do you have type one? No,

"Wilfred" 3:16
he does.

Scott Benner 3:17
Just your son. Okay. So and your son was diagnosed recently in the last couple years? Yes. Okay. Is the or do we want to keep his age? Like vague or do you want to?

"Wilfred" 3:25
He's four years old right now. Okay. So he's a little kid when he was diagnosed like to maybe yeah. Oh, it was just after his second birthday. Can you tell me a little bit about that? Oh, it was miserable. Yeah. I actually didn't think anything was like I'm a stay at home dad. I am around them all the time. I didn't notice the weight loss and stuff like that. And my wife was like, you know, his eyes look sunken. And he doesn't look good. He was always fussy. Alright, I might cry. But I didn't think anything of it. We called my mother in law, who is also in the medical field as is my wife and she was like, he should take him to urgent care. And we did it because he was breathing. He was having the Coos MALLRAT respirations. Which I didn't know what they were, I was like, Oh, whatever. He's gonna get over this overnight. But we took him in and the urgent care doctor was just very nonchalant. Like, I can't tell you here but you need to go to the hospital. Okay, I was like, Okay, well, my wife has work in about two hours. So I don't so I was like, she works at a hospital so I was gonna go to her hospital with him and I went and picked her up even though he was like he should probably go straight there. I was like I wouldn't picked her up and took her to work thinking nothing of it. And I was on my way to her hospital. She said I don't think we should go to my hospital. You should drop me off and you should go to another hospital that's a little bit further away. But they have a they have a peds unit. I dropped her off. I went there. They could not get the IV in after we were admitted. It's hard, it's gonna make me cry because I was like holding him down trying to while he was screaming. Sorry, no, you're okay. You know, they poked, oh my god 1213 times trying to get an IV in because his blood was like syrup. And finally they got one. And they did a bunch of tests. And this is what I don't want to say it takes me off, or I don't know how it makes me feel. But the doctor comes in. After I'm like, I'm just sitting there holding him as he's like, you know, I don't know what the hell's going on. He just drank juice for God's sake. They just gave him juice and he comes in, he goes, Well, it's a good thing. You brought him in. He has diabetes. And he turns around and walks away. I'm like,

Scott Benner 5:43
what, like walked out of the room away?

"Wilfred" 5:45
Yes. Just literally turned around and walked away. Oh, geez. I was like, oh, Kay. I don't know. I didn't know what that meant, at that point. Like, I texted my parents and my wife and I said, what happened? And my wife knew more than me. And she was like, okay, she called her coworker to come take over for her so she could come to where I was. So she got a ride from one of her other co workers, and another co worker took over like, she was very luckily, because I was like, no, just stay at work. It's fine. Like, I didn't think it was a big deal. Like we were being admitted. But I didn't know that. I thought it was like, he has diabetes. They're going to take care of them tonight. And then tomorrow, we'll go home and he's going to take like a shot a day or something. And we have to check his blood sugar. Maybe like, a few times a day. I didn't know anything about it. Yeah, sure. I understand. And my wife was like, I'm coming to the hospital. And I'm like, I don't think you should like we need the money. We're not. We're not rich. Like we're about to have another hospital bills just stay at work. And she's like, Nope, this bigger deal and you think it is okay. She's right. I had no fucking clue.

Scott Benner 6:54
I mean, it's talks, the doctor walked in and dropped something on you like that with no context and wandered out again. Yeah, yeah.

"Wilfred" 7:00
Just just left me in that. I think it was like, what felt like an hour. It was probably like two minutes. And then the nurse and the pediatric unit came down in here. She had a wheelchair. I started to put him in and she goes, No, you this is for you. I was like, Okay,

Scott Benner 7:15
great. Now I'm the problem. I'm looking at Rosie. Yeah, apparently. Yeah, cool. Listen, I feel weird calling you Welford. But if it makes you feel any better, you're in the middle of touching just call me whatever your middle is touching story. I'm going to break in on my god. Am I gonna say Wilford? I'm not gonna do that. When Artem was diagnosed in that hospital room, you know, I felt like, I don't know if anybody can, can relate to this. But I felt like the fibers inside of my chest were being torn apart. Like I was being stabbed by tiny knives from the inside out in my chest. Like, yeah, that's what it felt like. So, you know, it's understandable to be emotional, and to be, you know, needing a wheelchair because I like I did everything I could not to cry in front of her. You know what I mean? The Dexcom CGM is sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast and did you know the Dexcom CGM is widely covered and most patients pay $20 or less per month. The Dexcom g7 is easy to get no matter your CGM coverage, head to my link right now. dexcom.com/juice box check out all the information but scroll down to that spot where it says get a free benefits check to see if you can get started today. The Dexcom G seven features a lightning fast 30 minute warm up so you'll have more time with your numbers. And it also has a new 12 hour grace period so you can swap your sensor when it's convenient for you. The follow app allows for 10 followers that's 10 loved ones who can keep an eye on you if you want. Don't forget the clarity app to keep track of your potentially one si and your time and range. These alerts are going to help you to stay on track because the Dexcom g7 can alert you up to 20 minutes before you go low or when your glucose is too high. You can even personalize your alerts enjoy greater peace of mind with the Dexcom G seven use my link dexcom.com/juice box to find out more. This episode is sponsored by Medtronic diabetes, Medtronic diabetes.com/juice box. And now we're going to hear from Medtronic champion Jalen.

Speaker 1 9:26
I was going straight into high school so it was a summer getting into high school was that particularly difficult, unimaginable. You know, I missed my entire summer. So I went I was going to a brand new school. I was around a bunch of new people that I had not been going to school with. So it was hard trying to balance that while also explaining to people what type one diabetes was. My hometown did not have an endocrinologist. So I was traveling over an hour to the nearest endocrinologist for children. So you know, I outside of that I didn't have any type of support in my hometown

Scott Benner 9:59
Did you try to explain to people? Or did you find it easier just to stay private?

Speaker 1 10:04
I honestly I just held back I didn't really like talking about it. It was just, it felt like it was just an repeating record where I was saying things and people weren't understanding it. And I also was still in the process of learning it. So I just kept it to myself didn't really talk about it.

Scott Benner 10:19
Did you eventually find people in real life that you could confide in, I

Speaker 1 10:24
never really got the experience until after getting to college. And then once I graduated college, it's all I see, you know, you can easily search Medtronic champions, you see people that pop up, and you're like, wow, look at all this content. And I think that's something that motivates me started embracing more, you know, how I'm able to type one diabetes. I

"Wilfred" 10:45
wasn't emotional about the diabetes at that point, because I didn't. I didn't really know anything. I thought it was fine. I was emotional, because they were like, you know, they had an IV team in there. And they were holding like, forcefully, they were talking about bringing in a restraint table. Oh, really? They were? Yeah, they were talking about bringing in a restraint table because they couldn't get an IV and I'm sitting there as dad trying to hold him. Yeah. And he's, he's a strong little, he's so strong. They were like, even the, the IV team was like, literally, we've never had a toddler that's strong. And they've got like, 12 people around him, I'm holding him. And then after that, I was fine. I was like, Oh, he's just, he's got diabetes. We'll figure this out. I'm traumatized from what just happened, but we're gonna this is gonna be easy. And then we went, you know, I won't give my location away too much. So we did go to the Barbara Davis Center. And that's when I really was like, I learned about it. On her braids just falls on your fucking chest. Yes.

Scott Benner 11:43
Yeah. All all the information keeps coming and coming. And it's, it's more and more overwhelming the start putting the pieces together about, like, short term and long term health concerns.

"Wilfred" 11:55
Yeah, that was the first time my wife was like, the strong one. And I was bawling my eyes out. And she's just like, I'll get the information. We're gonna figure this out. And yeah, she she was strong for me,

Scott Benner 12:08
thankfully. Well, that's wonderful. Yeah. And let's say, and you were a stay at home dad. Yeah.

"Wilfred" 12:14
And I Yeah, and I am, I wasn't planning on being one for this long. But after he was diagnosed, and my wife was pregnant when he was diagnosed, so once he was diagnosed, we made the decision that it's just gonna continue doing this until they're both in school full time. So I got at least another six years of this.

Scott Benner 12:33
You, you and I have a lot in common there. You know, I did not think I was going to be a stay at home father, as long as I was either. That was definitely not the plan. And then this all happen are like, okay, I guess I should say

"Wilfred" 12:44
it's a little bit depressing. Being a stay at home dad, we don't like you, you know, it's to lack of adult interaction. Is it easy to add this? Yeah,

Scott Benner 12:54
you have trouble with it? Yeah,

"Wilfred" 12:56
I've got severe social anxiety, I would call it. I, like literally can't even take my kids to the park if I don't smoke some weed. So I'm a I'm a recreational marijuana user. How

Scott Benner 13:10
does the social anxiety present? Like, what happens if you try to go out?

"Wilfred" 13:14
Oh, God, I don't, I just don't even try. Because my mind is like, well, you know, what's, you know, she's just imagines just like, I don't know, like, every time, I think about going out, and I haven't had any sort of like, wheat, I'm like, this is just that somebody's gonna want to talk to me, I don't want to talk to them. I want to go on a hike with my kids. And I don't want to talk to anybody. But so there's always people on the trail, and most of those people are friendly. And I want to be friendly, but I really don't want to talk to people. So if I smoke a little bit of weed who kind of helps?

Scott Benner 13:50
So tell me about I want to be friendly, but I don't want to, like

"Wilfred" 13:54
I'm not going to be mean to you. And so I'm not trying to say that. I'm going to be mean to somebody but I if I don't know I don't like talking to people.

Scott Benner 13:59
What? Okay, what what you're talking to me? Are you having trouble now?

"Wilfred" 14:04
Not so much.

Scott Benner 14:05
But are you Hi? Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. Okay,

"Wilfred" 14:10
it makes me more social. I don't like I don't like talking to people. If I'm like, myself, I'm like, very withdrawn. I just want to be with my family just with my kids. Like, that's it. I don't want anybody else around, including extended family.

Scott Benner 14:24
Did you have that going on as a child?

"Wilfred" 14:26
I have not so much. I think it kind of started in my late teens probably I got I just was like, kind of got fed up with people. Like I started to realize how much the world is kind of not as awesome as they want you to think it is when you're growing up.

Scott Benner 14:41
It's something happens specifically.

"Wilfred" 14:45
A lot of stuff like family

Scott Benner 14:47
trouble or money or,

"Wilfred" 14:49
you know, my mom's been gone since I was like four. She get lost or did she leave? She has her own addiction problems as though pretty much me and all of my brothers, which I'm the only one who acknowledges that I have one. So it's kind of funny ever all my brothers are in the same boat as me, but they're like, I'm fine. And I'm like, No, you're not. But yeah, so we all have that problem. My mom has been pretty much out of my life since I was apparently six, but I really don't have any memories of her at all. So the My earliest memory of her I think is when I was like nine or 10. Maybe I say, what was her addiction? Right now? It's currently crack is the new one. Oh, yeah. So it started off with alcohol, then, you know, cocaine, and then I made the decision to live with her when I was like 19. I was like, well, she likes to drink and smoke. Like, I'm like that I like to drink smoke. I went to live with her. I was like that she was not she was way. She's off the deep end like she does. She's She's professional. She's also bipolar. So okay, if you want to go into the other autoimmune things in the family, that's definitely one of them that runs in mind to your

Scott Benner 16:00
mom's bipolar. She started with booze went to coke. currently doing crack. How old? Is she?

"Wilfred" 16:08
60. Wow, look at her gone. 60 older than that. Maybe? I don't I don't actually know. But she's in her 60s.

Scott Benner 16:15
Does she hold a job? And has she? No, she's

"Wilfred" 16:17
never held a job. She has had jobs, but she has, you know, she, like six weeks or something? You know, she loses it.

Scott Benner 16:26
Do you think she has that anxiety about going out in public? Oh,

"Wilfred" 16:29
yes, definitely. Okay. And I'm wondering like, she's diagnosed bipolar. I'm not I definitely could see a not suit. Not as severe as my mom. But I could see I might have some sort of, you know, something. A little something. I don't know if there's degrees to bipolar illness or not. Bipolar

Scott Benner 16:46
perhaps? Yeah. Okay. Do you?

"Wilfred" 16:51
My brother definitely does. But whatever. We don't need to get into that. Right.

Scott Benner 16:55
So you have brothers who all have different addiction issues?

"Wilfred" 16:58
Yes.

Scott Benner 16:59
How about your father? Is he just in a corner crying? What's going on there?

"Wilfred" 17:02
Oh, 100%. Yes. My father is a saint. My dad is the I don't I don't know. If I were him. I would not be alive. That's for sure. I asked myself years ago, I don't know how he puts up with us. And he says I'm the best one. So whatever. I'm cool with that.

Scott Benner 17:16
It feels like we've set a low bar, but I hear what you're saying. Exactly. It's a very low bar that I remember your crack mom. Yeah. And you're doing way better than her. Thank you, dad. Yeah, I appreciate it. Just overreaching. But put your dad doesn't have any addiction issues.

"Wilfred" 17:32
No, no, my dad is it outside of the family is very clean. You know, he's a preacher's son. So happy you end up with your mom. Church. That's hilarious. Yeah, we don't want to get into the my feelings on religion.

Scott Benner 17:51
I love that your dad's at church as a young man all like earnest and everything in your mom's there like, oh, I can get these demons out of my head. And he's like, That girl's pretty.

Unknown Speaker 17:59
Like, here

Unknown Speaker 18:00
we go.

Unknown Speaker 18:01
Oh my god.

Scott Benner 18:02
Wow, what a match. Okay, so. And how many? How many siblings? Do you have? Like your one of how many? I am one of one of four. Okay, is there any type one in there?

"Wilfred" 18:11
There is not any type one on my side on my wife's. My wife has some distant cousins that are type one. Okay. Her dad is type two. My mom has the bipolar. Her uncle has the bipolar. Yeah, that's about it. Oh, and she's also PCOS. She has PCOS.

Scott Benner 18:33
Okay. That's a lot. I'm processing. Sorry. Also, I'm trying to stop from asking you like how close to like that Dave Chappelle character is your mom, but I don't want to do that. So

"Wilfred" 18:43
I haven't seen her in a very long time. But my brothers said it's pretty bad. No

Scott Benner 18:47
kidding. Like really? Like, just strung out. Terrible. Yeah. Yeah. Well, listen, first of all, I'm sorry. That sucks. Like so. Okay. Honestly, I don't I appreciate that. This is your been your situation for a long time. But still, it's your mom and you know, you could have got like a different mom and you maybe wouldn't have to go through some of this so it sounds well I got an awesome stepmom now. So nice. Oh, your dad didn't strike out the second time. Oh, no, my dad. My dad. Good.

"Wilfred" 19:14
Good TV. We ran off a few girlfriends and then we decided on one we liked and he was like, Are you sure? We were like yeah, we're not gonna run this one

Scott Benner 19:20
off your boys decided she he that one. You're allowed to stay lady like Okay, great. It

"Wilfred" 19:26
actually happened there were there were meetings in the bedrooms of like, Alright, how are we gonna run?

Scott Benner 19:30
By the way? What a lottery winner she is stuck with you guys.

"Wilfred" 19:35
Oh, no. Yeah, she I won't get too far into it. But she was she was a profession lens to she's a lion tamer lens to it. No, not so much. But I think she knew what she was getting into because she's seen it so I say we might we might not be as bad as what she's probably seen in her profession.

Scott Benner 19:54
I said in her profession, she locks down nucular explosion sites. That's what you know, she

"Wilfred" 20:01
deals with mental health. No. Family Matters. Oh, I

Scott Benner 20:05
say family matters, not the TV show with Urkel. Yeah. She wasn't a producer on that or anything. will say divorce court. Oh, gotcha. All right. So she Yeah, I see what you're saying. Okay. So you have what you have going on. And this is before the kids even like your wife and you, like go out? Yeah, you smoke a little she knows that's gonna happen. That kind of stuff. Yeah. And

"Wilfred" 20:29
my wife doesn't smoke, but she's a proponent of me smoking. If I'm if I'm getting irritated or something. She's like, go take a hit real quick.

Scott Benner 20:36
Okay, do you actually smoke or do you like, like, dry? vape? Or how do you do it?

"Wilfred" 20:42
No, I smoke out of a bog. I just basically take one big bowl every two or three hours. That

Scott Benner 20:50
keeps you Okay. Yep. You're not worried about the bipolar thing in the the weed smoking and stuff like that? Oh,

"Wilfred" 20:57
no. I think, you know, my wife keeps me in check. If I was ever to be worried about then she would. She'd be there. I'm very lucky in that aspect. Can

Scott Benner 21:07
I ask what's the THC? THC level of the weed you smoke? Do you know what percent it is?

"Wilfred" 21:12
I mean, like, between 18 and 33.

Scott Benner 21:18
Okay. The 30 shut you off pretty good or no?

"Wilfred" 21:21
Oh, I mean, I've been smoking since I was 18. So not really. Yeah, I guess about 17. So I it's a daily thing. So I've got a pretty high tolerance. Okay, now those people who smoke that oil and stuff I kind of I've done that and the dabs. I like it. I'm not gonna say it puts me in the couch or anything like that. But it's it's not a I don't enjoy it as much as the flower.

Scott Benner 21:46
Okay. It was called dab. So that what they are? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. To call them God, should I bring up every time so he brings that up? Like, there were the kids running around dabbing all the time. Like I somebody said to me one time, like, do you think their parents know that the thing they're doing is mimicking the cough from when you dab? And I was like, I bet you they don't? Bet you they don't. So okay, so the weed helps you. How is the weed now that it's legal? Is it better or worse? Oh, it's

"Wilfred" 22:15
so much better. consistent? It's yeah, the consistency is what's what's better. Okay. You know, it's not, you're not getting a break and for breaking out steeds and

Scott Benner 22:28
the horrors you had to grow up with not smoking

"Wilfred" 22:30
out of a coke can pipes are very accessible.

Scott Benner 22:34
Now, in your note to me, funny, you don't mention weed and your note to me?

"Wilfred" 22:37
Yeah, no, because I also have an alcohol problem. Okay.

Scott Benner 22:41
I also have an alcohol problem. Are you? Would you consider yourself an alcoholic?

"Wilfred" 22:45
Yes. 100%. Well, I'm an addict, which is, you know, people are like distinctive about alcoholic. If you are addicted to something, you're an addict. So you're an addict. That's how

Scott Benner 22:55
you think of yourself. Like there are certain things you do, you're gonna get stuck to it. Alright, so are you drinking currently? Yes. Okay. So,

"Wilfred" 23:04
I wasn't when I signed up for this, I was doing really good. And I was like, Hey, I'm gonna go on and have it and I was like, and then you know, things happen.

Scott Benner 23:13
How old were you when you started drinking?

"Wilfred" 23:16
I didn't start drinking till I was 20. Oh, okay. I was actually believe it or not. When I before I was 17. I was the goody goody of the family. Like, you know, just I always had a girlfriend did good in school. I would call my dad and say, hey, my brothers are smoking weed out back because I wanted them to leave so that I could have the house with my girlfriend. You know, I was the tattletale back then. And then my long term girlfriend broke up with me and my brother was like, Hey, man.

Scott Benner 23:43
Did you tattle to get tail? Is that what you're saying? To me?

"Wilfred" 23:46
That's exactly what

Scott Benner 23:48
I thought you were saying. Okay, so I wanted to make sure you were like, I'm going to say they were smoking weed so they get out of the house so I can have the house to myself. I didn't think it was to make popcorn and watch a movie. I wasn't sure. So you don't start drink you smoking weed for two years before you're drinking? Yeah.

"Wilfred" 24:05
Okay. And I was doing really good in those two years held down a job was was great. And then I decided I wanted to start traveling. I guess at that point, that's when I really just like kind of hit went off the rails. Actually, I forget about a year or two before that where I lived with a heroin addict.

Scott Benner 24:25
Was that a roommate or a partner? That

"Wilfred" 24:28
was a best friend from childhood, who is still my best friend today and he's clean and sober. But yeah, he was probably the worst addict I've ever met. But I moved out of my parents house because I was smoking weed. I had a job. And my parents were like, well, you can't smoke weed here. I'll just go live with my friend Edie because his parents let him do heroin. Like whatever.

Scott Benner 24:54
Wait, did his parents really let him do heroin?

"Wilfred" 24:56
No, I didn't let him but they You weren't stopping him like

Scott Benner 25:02
you actually lived in his, in his childhood home with him. Yeah.

"Wilfred" 25:07
And I believe I had this like grandiose idea like, I'm taking care of him because when he would like, you know, he Odede once or twice, and I would be, you know, he lived, but I gave myself credit for that. It was like some stupid, like, I did something even though I'm just living. I'm literally just kind of like

Scott Benner 25:23
me. I'm the adult here. I'm handling things. Keep it everything up, right? Yeah, he should let her snorting it or what was he doing? shooting it?

"Wilfred" 25:31
Yeah, I remember he comes to me one time with a fucking syringe. He's got duct tape around the plunger. He's got it lubricated with chapstick. And he's like, I can't get it to push down and I need your help, man. It's already in the vein. And I'm like, I'll admit I actually tried to help him and I passed out while trying to help him. Never do that again.

Scott Benner 25:49
Wait, the the process of trying to push on the plunger like made you nauseous? It made

"Wilfred" 25:54
me pass out and he literally was like, in my mind. I

Scott Benner 25:56
was like, what if this kills him? Because then I did it. Yeah, I

"Wilfred" 25:59
just I just fainted. I've had some traumatic moments in my life. I guess you could.

Speaker 2 26:04
I was gonna say, Man, I think I know why you don't want to go outside. Jeez, that's I don't want to say that's insane. Because it seems derivative. But that's insane. Yeah, yeah. You think it's very, like wired in you write

"Wilfred" 26:20
all this? Yes, it's its genetic. I definitely believe that. Its genetic. I don't know. It also could not be because a lot of weird things have happened that could could have put me here. I mean, my grandpa has hit on me before. So that's another thing you could add to the story. I'm sorry. traumatization.

Scott Benner 26:35
Sexually, your grandfather made an advanced Georgia. Okay, can you tell me what that was? He has

"Wilfred" 26:43
Parkinson's for, like 16 years before he passed and I was a caretaker for him. I like the caretaker role before I fell into alcohol. Actually, that caretaker role is probably what if I look back on it, that's when I really started drinking, like very heavily is when I was taking care of them. A lot for a young person. There was one Yeah, there was one time when you know, he's can't stand up on its own and stuff like that. And I was picking them up and just kind of, I was like, Is there anything I can get you before bed? And he said, just put his arm towards my crotch? And he said, Yeah, I want you and I was like, alright, grandpa, we're gonna get you to bed. Now. This is okay. This is too much. And he can't tell your family about that. Because then, you know, your parents are like, they don't want your parents to look at their ad that way. Like, you know, you just kind of have to tell your therapist that and your sheriff just is like, oh,

Scott Benner 27:37
you should start doing heroin. No.

"Wilfred" 27:39
That's what your fellow therapists know. That's my that's my go out plan. You know, tell you're getting out of here.

Scott Benner 27:44
Well, we have fun. So after your grandfather says you have a pretty mouth or whatever. He said. What do you do with that? Like, you're 20

"Wilfred" 27:54
i right? I've taught yeah, that's, uh, yeah, it's approximately how old I was. I just kind of just laugh it off. I told him I told my oldest brother. And that's it was he was the only one that would understand. He kind of laughed at me with it. He was like, he was like, dude, grandpa's old and he's delusional. And there's a lot of things that there's a there's some, there's a lot going on there. There's a lot of things going on on that side of the family. Well, there's some suspect that you know, that marriage might have just been a cover up for some homosexuality back in the day.

Scott Benner 28:28
Oh, you think Grandpa? You think grandpa took on a lady who is your grandma and made a family to cover his?

"Wilfred" 28:36
I mean, they're not too far off on the family tree. Oh, they know

Scott Benner 28:39
that you think they're? They're kind of related ish? No,

"Wilfred" 28:42
there's like second or third cousins? What did they claim they didn't know until after they got married? Are you going to say

Scott Benner 28:49
anything? That doesn't make me make the face that has me caught between crying and laughing? Every time you thought like everything you say I go. I know you can't see me. But my mouth is open. I stopped breathing and I can't decide, am I gonna laugh or be horrified?

"Wilfred" 29:04
You can laugh. It's

Scott Benner 29:07
Jesus. I really appreciate you coming on the podcast who I want to say that. I really appreciate you coming on the podcast, by the way. Thank you.

"Wilfred" 29:14
I figured I've got something somebody's gone through.

Scott Benner 29:16
I don't know about that one. That was I mean, I'm sure it's happened to other people. But my goodness, that's something else. My grandfather was just like mean.

"Wilfred" 29:25
Yeah, no. Yeah, it was a preacher. Very nice. He

Scott Benner 29:30
was afraid he was a preacher too.

"Wilfred" 29:31
He was a preacher. Yep. Oh, God. Hold on.

Scott Benner 29:36
Hold on, hold on. Do I know them? No. I'm absorbing everything. You think that sounds familiar? There's a lady on here two months ago said that her preacher father used to go to like, bondage and like sadomasochistic dungeons. You heard that one love that episode was covered every episode. Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. So everybody should listen to every episode that okay, all right. I don't know. Are we gonna get to the point here we are right? So, I mean this your backstory is taking half an hour. I don't feel like we're anywhere near getting through it. But okay, so I what we're gonna talk. Well,

"Wilfred" 30:07
we didn't get through post diagnose your poor kids still

Scott Benner 30:11
in the hospital in the story Jesus got skip the rest of my child. Yeah, well, I think we've established who you are and why maybe you're that person that's good. Yeah. So you're I mean, you're a would you call yourself a functioning alcoholic or do you do blackout drunk? Yeah,

"Wilfred" 30:29
no, I'm very high functioning. I don't blackout. I don't drink hard liquor unless,

Scott Benner 30:36
unless it's Thursday, I don't know, what

"Wilfred" 30:38
are you gonna say unless there's, you know, unless there's an excuse to sometimes if I'm watching hockey, my wife's not work and you know, then fine. But, you know, I stick to beer 99.9% of the time,

Scott Benner 30:49
you couldn't have an ice cream sandwich while you're watching the hockey game or something like that, like, there would be nothing

"Wilfred" 30:54
that could. Like, it just calms my nerves a little bit when I and it's, it's sad. And, um, but I'm working on it. And when me and my wife are getting through this together, and I'm not, that's what it that's really, a big thing that I came on here to say is like, if somebody else is going through what I'm going through, like, don't be silent about it. Because I thought for sure I was going to come clean with my wife about my problem. And she was going to be like, just, you know, alright, well, I'm either gonna go to rehab, or you're gonna leave and she's like, No, we're gonna get through this together. We're always like, how long have you been together? Married? Oh, five years this month. When you get married? Does

Scott Benner 31:33
she know you're an addict?

"Wilfred" 31:36
Oh, I think she probably did. Yeah, I mean, I told her before the before we got married. There were some because we had our we had our first son. Oh, I got

Scott Benner 31:47
you. I was like, why we got married? Because I know girls, man. That's the thing. They would go out. Look over there. Then they leave while you're looking. Yeah. So um, no.

"Wilfred" 31:56
We knew each other for a while. And then she got pregnant and she thought I was gonna leave and I was like, Oh, shit. Like, I was literally when I met her. I was living in a van. I was living in a cargo van. You like the you know, the? Like paint vans?

Scott Benner 32:10
Yeah, same as the ones that pedophiles use to get kids with? Yeah, when I

"Wilfred" 32:16
met her I was I had broken up with my ex I called my dad and and like, I don't have anywhere to live and I can't afford rent. But you know what I could afford if you helped me with a down payment. And I got I ended up getting a van and was living in Florida just going I was living behind where I worked. And just like showering at the beach, like just doing living life. And then I met her. And we were together for, I don't know, months, not not a year, but over six months. And I had already basically proposed kind of as a joke because we were together for so long. And I was like, I think you this is gonna stick. And then she got pregnant, and she thought I was gonna leave and I'll say no, like, the next day I traded in my van for a minivan. I was like, I wasn't planning on this, but I'm not gonna let my I'm not gonna she I was like, What are your plans? She goes, I'm not getting rid of it. I was like, Okay, well, then I'm not gonna let the kid not have a dad. Like I

Scott Benner 33:17
say something as a public service announcement that you shouldn't take as a judgement at all. This is just for everybody listening. This has nothing to do with you. And you know, we're gonna make two versions of this episode. If you're subscribed right now on Apple podcasts. You'll hear this unedited. But if you're not this, a lot of this part's kind of probably be beeped out. But ladies, this is for me to you. Don't let a boy who lives in a van finish inside of you. There. There. I've done it. Well, yeah, okay.

"Wilfred" 33:45
In my own defense, Ed, she told me that she was

Scott Benner 33:51
Alright, hey, hold on, cuz

"Wilfred" 33:53
she was she had PCOS. She was working to pee. She has PCOS. She was working like a per diem schedule. So it was all over the place. After we started dating regularly. She kind of got she got a normal shift at work, not per diem. And she kind of started to regulate and I started to make jokes like you're gonna get pregnant, and she was just like, No, I'm infertile. No, I wish we I know. You've talked about people taking GLP ones and getting pregnant because they don't think that they can give fertile Well, I think that's what happens. Just without the GLP one. Here's

Scott Benner 34:23
another public service announcement. This one's for boys, boys. If girls tell you they can't get pregnant, don't finish inside of them. There. I'm just I don't know how else that they help you all this is a very simple idea. It was

"Wilfred" 34:35
the best thing I ever did. I don't think I'd be alive. If I

Scott Benner 34:40
didn't knock this girl up in your van you're saying you don't think you'd be alive right now. Tell me about that. No, no girl by the way. Did it happen in the van?

"Wilfred" 34:47
No. Didn't happen to the van. Pretty sure it was the shower but

Scott Benner 34:51
but was the shower behind a Home Depot or something? It was in her apartment. Okay. Yeah. Shower is a great place to have sex.

"Wilfred" 35:02
Sometimes it depends on sometimes the angle is hard. But yeah. If

Scott Benner 35:07
it's hard, then the angle is easy. Now. So see what happened. Like somebody said to me, Hey, don't bleep yourself in this one. And everyone's gonna be like, is this the guy I'm listening to about diabetes? They need to Shut the front door. So anyway, so being seriously, you think having a child really helped you? Yeah, definitely told me about that. If

"Wilfred" 35:31
my son wasn't born, I think I would have gone on. I don't know, if me and my wife would have got married I definitely would never have sold my van. I was like, I had a moped, I was driving around. You know, I was on Tinder. Just getting tail left and right, the best way to put it, but I settled down when I met her, and then she got pregnant, and it was done. But before that, if she didn't get pregnant, I don't know if we I just think I don't think she I don't think she would have stayed with me as this thing.

Scott Benner 36:03
That's very honest of you to say,

"Wilfred" 36:05
I think she would, she would have left me I would have gone back to doing my, you know, whatever, go on.

Scott Benner 36:13
I'm certain I'm still married because my wife was like, if I want another kid, I want them to all look the same. That's pretty. So I'm pretty certain that's why I'm here. Yeah. Plus, I do a good job around the house and stuff like that. But I hear what you're saying. Okay, so, and listen, I think that's very honest. And probably not unfair. Because I don't think there are a lot of ladies running around going. You know who I want to settle down with the guy in the van. Do you want to apologize now for ruining her life or no? She

"Wilfred" 36:38
misses her family. She doesn't miss Florida. Yeah, I don't care what Florida

Scott Benner 36:42
stuff also. This story has a very Florida man feel to it.

"Wilfred" 36:47
Oh, yeah, there. We could go into way more Florida stories. But yeah, yeah,

Scott Benner 36:52
that's a state where, by the way, now there's a upcoming job industry where people are collecting Iguana is off of golf courses. Yeah, so

"Wilfred" 36:59
Exactly. Yeah,

Scott Benner 37:00
that shouldn't be a job.

"Wilfred" 37:02
Yeah, we quit selling them at the store. I worked at a pet store down there and we quit selling because there were too many

Scott Benner 37:09
people were just walking outside and grabbing one if they wanted one. I don't need to keep an iguana. I can see them outside of my door. Wow, geez. Yeah, it's another world. Some parts of Florida right are just different. Okay, so you've got this new diagnosis. I'm sorry. Is this your first? It's your first child because your wife's pregnant at the time of the diagnosis? Right?

"Wilfred" 37:29
Yes. First child wife is pregnant of probably like, she's four or five months pregnant when we get the diagnosis.

Scott Benner 37:36
By the way, do you get pregnant the second time on purpose? Or was she under the impression it wasn't gonna happen again? Well, we

"Wilfred" 37:40
were very, very much on purpose. We we have tried. had been trying for a long time. I saw a couple miscarriages and then I'm sorry, last one finally stuck.

Scott Benner 37:50
Okay. How romantic now? So, there you are in the hospital. You know, you're you're coping with drinking and weed. And now there's this incredible like, actually,

"Wilfred" 38:04
I wasn't I wasn't drinking at that time for weeks for about four weeks. And then he got diagnosed. And I think it was like two days, you know, yeah. Anybody in recovery will understand how easy it is to fall back. And when

Scott Benner 38:21
you weren't drinking, how did you accomplish that? How did you get to that spot?

"Wilfred" 38:24
I was I was very scheduled in what I did. I was going to a at the time, I should probably get back into that. But you know, right now I'm kind of focused on trying to sleep with a new baby instead of that. Do you

Scott Benner 38:39
think AAA would be valuable for you?

"Wilfred" 38:42
I find friends there that I wish I could get out with but I don't have like I don't actually like AAA because it's very you know, you need to find your higher power and I'm like

Scott Benner 38:56
you don't want yeah, I found that Yeah, yeah.

"Wilfred" 39:00
Thanks i Higher Power is me because I feel like I'm you know, I want to give myself the credit if I do something good. I don't want to give some fictional character on the sky credit for something that I do like

Scott Benner 39:14
have you tried to like

"Wilfred" 39:17
change it about people who give God credit about shit the doctors do I don't want to I don't want to get

Scott Benner 39:24
my I tell you what the part about the Superbowl I hate when somebody Thanks, God. That's your that's the hill you're gonna die on here for that.

Unknown Speaker 39:32
No, no. You know, I

"Wilfred" 39:34
you know, I was forced to go to church three times a week until I was 16. I kind of bit me bad enough.

Scott Benner 39:43
Alright, well, but my question about this is like, can you separate yourself from your life for a minute and look at yourself, like from a third party perspective? And like, tell yourself like, what is it I think that person should be doing? Yeah.

"Wilfred" 40:00
Yeah, that's easy. Is this I know what I should be doing. Yeah. And I know and I'm, I'm glad to do it. Because I don't what are the things mainly to quit drinking, and to, uh, I need to make myself a schedule again for things to do throughout the day, so I'm not just sitting there because for a long time after the diagnosis, and I would still say probably to this day, some days, I just stare at the sugar pixel or the, you know, I just I get a little bit obsessed over it. It's kind of my new addiction, which I should adopt, but I gotta kick the other ones and get this one into high gear. Although you know, how much higher Can I go? I'm doing pretty good with

Scott Benner 40:46
his with his blood sugar.

"Wilfred" 40:47
I don't think I think if I was where I was at, and I wasn't taking care of his diabetes, she's just left me by now to she doesn't like I can take her two kids as long as one doesn't have died. But she relies on me for this for that aspect of it.

Scott Benner 41:01
Now she's really stuck with you. I got you. I might. Yeah, you're like I'm not going anywhere. I got a place to live. Alright, well for it's not riding in the van ever again. Now. Wilford? No, Wilfred is gonna get a van again. Yeah, you're gonna need one, honestly. Okay, so I'm sorry. So he's diagnosed. This picture drinking back in? Is it like, like, Hey, do you drink like you smoke like you say you smoke like to moderate yourself. But are

"Wilfred" 41:31
you times you know, I enjoy breakfast beer sometimes. But most of the time we get up have coffee, and then I won't have one till like 11 or noon. And then it's like one every two or three hours. You know what I mean? Like I don't

Scott Benner 41:43
It's B and it's beer. Yeah, it's

"Wilfred" 41:45
it's Coors Light.

Scott Benner 41:47
I say are we saying Pabst Blue Ribbon are what are we talking about here? It's very,

"Wilfred" 41:50
you know, it's very light content. So it's not like I'm getting blackout drunk. But I'm, I definitely know what's not good for me. I just keep doing it. Because it's a habit. You know?

Scott Benner 42:00
It's you do with 12 pack a day? Yeah, no, no, maybe eight on a, like,

"Wilfred" 42:10
on a Hockey night. But I don't drink that fast until hockey starts and then I have like two during the game and then I go to that eight

Scott Benner 42:17
beers. Six or seven bong hits a day. Yeah. Okay. And you're functioning and taking care of the kids. Everything's okay there. Yep. All right. But you believe yourself to be an addict and you don't think you should be drinking percent? Okay. 100. It's

"Wilfred" 42:31
not well, it's not good for my body. Yeah, no.

Scott Benner 42:33
Well, I didn't think we were up to that part yet. But yeah, that's right. Right. But I'm talking about like, just being functional. Like,

"Wilfred" 42:41
it's the that's the sad part. I know. My wife's probably out there listening. She's in the other room. She's probably listen to be like, Ah, whatever. But that's the fucked up part about being an actor is like, once you're an addict, like if you start a habit. It's like, you don't even want to do it anymore. But it's habit.

Scott Benner 42:58
Yeah, no, I've heard people talk about having addictive natures and they avoid stuff like that and just pour it and other stuff. Because it because we can listen, it's nice to all sit around and say, You know what you should do should go to therapy. You should stop doing that. But but but I mean, in the meantime, you got to live every minute. That's that exists. So So you instead of swapping drinking for the diabetes management, you just added it. Yep. Okay, so now you have three things you're addicted to?

"Wilfred" 43:24
Yes.

Scott Benner 43:25
Is there anything else?

"Wilfred" 43:26
Well, you know, I don't I wouldn't call leading attention because it's more like a meditation for me, I think. Okay, the alcohol is an addiction and people who are like, they say they're California silver, like, I don't want to No disrespect to those people or whatever. But the people who drink and say they're California silver. I don't. I don't that's not my version of California silver. Like

Unknown Speaker 43:47
I thought California silver

"Wilfred" 43:47
was just weed. Okay, so maybe it is okay. I thought I heard somebody say one time that they only have beers, and they don't drink liquor, and they say, Oh, it's just beer and wheat. And I'm like, I don't subscribe to that being actually silver. Listen,

Scott Benner 44:01
if you were eating a milk, a coconut milk yogurt every two hours. I tell you how to addiction. Do you know what I mean? Like I don't I don't care

"Wilfred" 44:09
wife has a shopping addiction. So look

Scott Benner 44:11
at you don't like it. Let's throw it this way. Now. That lady's gonna make us go broke. Have you ever said anything? Once I came back in the house from the front door and I said, Hey, the UPS guy said Can you slow down his back hurts. My wife didn't like that at all. I thought it was hilarious. Also, the UPS guy did not say that. But he looked like he wanted to. So

"Wilfred" 44:37
I have said something to the Amazon delivery driver before? Yes.

Scott Benner 44:41
Can you stop coming here police.

"Wilfred" 44:45
Like, I was like it's the first door or I was like second door on the left.

Scott Benner 44:48
She's right over there. She's waiting for you. Any like,

"Wilfred" 44:52
I watched him and he went there and he dropped it off and I was like, Yo,

Scott Benner 44:55
does your wife enable you? Like are you in a codependent right relationship.

"Wilfred" 45:00
Ah, you know, to a degree I would say

Scott Benner 45:04
Can I say something? I don't mean I'm gonna say something because we're speaking very plainly but I don't mean a pejoratively. But is she fucked up to? Oh, no.

"Wilfred" 45:13
Well,

Scott Benner 45:14
she's your dad on this in this story not

"Wilfred" 45:17
on not on the same level

Scott Benner 45:19
not on the same okay, but she's been but like, is there some? How do I put this? Is you being fucked up family dysfunction being fucked up comforting to her because it makes her feel better about herself. No,

"Wilfred" 45:32
I don't think that's the thing so okay. Now she's if I ever get too out of line she you know, there's a reason she's the one that works. She wears the shoes, she wears the pants in the in the relationship?

Scott Benner 45:46
Well, I mean, if she is, there's one of the reasons you're a stay at home dad because of the social anxiety? No,

"Wilfred" 45:51
because that's one of the social, like you'll get. So if I go to a party, I clam up and I'm in the corner. But if I'm at work, and I'm doing something that I'm like making money, like I feel productive, like I'm, for some reason, like, I don't need any sort of substance I, when I work, I'm very social.

Scott Benner 46:09
Well, then do we not think getting you a job is a good idea? Yeah,

"Wilfred" 46:14
we do. Okay, it's kind of a hard, we're in a hard position right now. Because my wife makes decent money, we're in a very expensive area to live. The jobs that I could get would not pay, like even for daycare. So it's kind of like,

Scott Benner 46:33
what about a work from home thing? Is there something you get part time that you do from home that would give you a little bit of like, have that good feeling.

"Wilfred" 46:40
I've thought about that. And I've looked into it. And I don't know if I'd be able to stay focused, I need something that I really like, you can just do it whenever you want. Like, you don't have to have scheduled hours. It's just whenever you want to work, you come on and do it. And I'm like, I that's like what I would do. Because, you know, I got one kid under one and the four year old only goes to preschool 10 hours a week so far. So I'm

Scott Benner 47:04
gonna sound like I don't understand from it. And maybe I don't maybe I'm just trying to like help you paint a picture for the people listening who might not understand. But what if I said just fucking do it? Like, like, oh, yeah, be an adult and do it. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, could you? Could you push through it? Or would it cause a different problem? Like, I don't know if I I don't know if I could like focus on the job. You just said like, I have to tell you that every day in my life. I wish I was doing something else. And I don't just mean while making the podcast. I mean, since I've been an adult. I had to go to a sheetmetal shop. It was horrible. I fucking did it. I got I cut lawns for a while. It was horrible. I did. I had to collect people's debts, which made me feel terrible. I fucking did it. Like, do you mean like, there are days that I come in here? And I'm like, Oh, God, I've got to, like, record all these ads, edit these things together. Put them up. call these people. Send out these invoices. Do this thing here. I gotta go pay my taxes. I don't want to do any of that. I do it every day. Like what's the difference?

"Wilfred" 48:00
I think it's it's really my wife schedule. Like she says she works overnights. And she does 12 hour shifts. And so I'm kinda like, during those days, I'm awake all night and all day.

Scott Benner 48:20
Because you're trying to be awake for blood sugars. In

"Wilfred" 48:23
the beginning, that's what it was. Now it's because of of the baby. Okay, well, because op five. You know, they we get pretty good overnights most of the time. Great. It's the baby really quick. She does not sleep through the night at all. Never have doesn't do it. Which I'm getting used to. But she's almost one. I

Scott Benner 48:45
shall get there though. Exactly. Yeah. So So you need a different schedule. You need some sleep. I mean, the beer thing I don't know. Like I don't I you know, I don't have any, like deep insights about No, you're not to drink alcohol. Listen, I know some people who drink exactly like you. Do. You know what I mean? And they actually ate beers. They You look like a piker to them. Yeah, exactly, man, but they're but they're alcoholics for 100% of their functioning alcoholics will need to Yeah, and and but. But for every one of them that actually makes it through their life. There's a ton of them that don't, and it still has a lot of impact on personality and interpersonal relationships. It's gonna it's gonna 100% Fuck your kids up. Like, oh, yeah, growing up the child of an alcoholic isn't a legit problem. Yeah, I

"Wilfred" 49:37
don't even because I don't you know, it's not like, it doesn't make me I'm not an angry alcoholic or anything. I've never, you know, that's not good. But I don't even want my kids to just see the habit of it. Like yeah, but

Scott Benner 49:49
it's not that there's like a real there's a real kind of like, diagnoseable repeatable thing that happens to like children of alcoholics have certain personalities, like they don't know what to do. expect they're always on their toes. They think something's gonna go wrong. Like that's, you know, and then with your background, I don't I mean, you seem like a great guy. Like, you don't seem like you want to throw that on your kids. So no. Yeah, I mean, could you stop drinking for them?

"Wilfred" 50:14
Yeah. 100 Well, I'm going to because he's to the age where he's gonna start being like, man, you know, he's gonna start asking. So I definitely have to, for that reason, but yeah, what was I going with that? I was going with that? It's okay. But did we do?

Scott Benner 50:30
What did we just hit a pothole?

"Wilfred" 50:32
Yeah. ADHD moment.

Scott Benner 50:36
I've heard people call them potholes when you just can't remember what you're doing when you're smoking. My

"Wilfred" 50:39
I'm using my wife's laptop because it's better quality. And she got a notification about something for work tomorrow. And

Scott Benner 50:47
you're reading. It just distracted me. I was like, sometimes I'm like, I'm recording and something pops up in front of me. And I'm like, not now. Cuz I read it. Yes. Shit. Now I lost where I'm at. And I'm like, yeah, like, I have it all turned off. But once a while, I don't know, it comes back on. And I'm like, crazy. Okay, so, like, What stops you from saying, I'm going to stop recording with Scott, and I'm going to go through the beer out and I'm not going to have anymore. What

"Wilfred" 51:12
would happen if you did that? Nothing would get on with my life. Yeah, why don't I do it then? Have it? Yeah. All right. Well

Scott Benner 51:21
make a new habit. Yeah, right. Yeah, you're not? I mean, how does the living room look? Could it be clean? We'll make a habit out of vacuuming.

"Wilfred" 51:29
My house is immaculate. All right. Well, then how about about American? My wife would argue with that in my, to my standards. It's your boy

Scott Benner 51:37
standards. I've picked up some things. But I like honestly, I'm obviously no sober counselor.

"Wilfred" 51:45
I don't know. I love your therapy. You're my favorite episodes are the ones when you like almost are or a therapist or someone.

Scott Benner 51:54
I like how I yelled at you, like 20 minutes ago? Because like, I don't think that's supposed to happen in therapy. No, it is. Is it? Well, yeah, I mean, because there's a part of me, there's a voice inside of me that wants to be like, just fucking Stop it man. Like, just, you know, like, you're a reasonable intelligent guy like you, you understand the whole thing. It almost feels like you're willfully doing it. And if it wasn't for the idea that you have addiction issues, I would say, just

"Wilfred" 52:18
well, you could still say it because I do. And I do plan on it. But I'm not there right now.

Scott Benner 52:25
But you don't seem like you love the beer the way it's

"Wilfred" 52:30
not for it's not really for like to get fucked up. Like, you know, like some people use it to, to reach a level and

Scott Benner 52:38
take away their anxiety or get them a high, you're using the weed for that.

"Wilfred" 52:41
Yeah, I'm doing it out of habit. At this point. You're making

Scott Benner 52:45
it make your habit, water with ice. And like drink one of those every couple of hours or so like, seriously, if you think it's that easy to replace, then replace it. Because I think if you remove the beer, you might gain some clarity. And then

"Wilfred" 52:57
it's mentally not like, you know, cuz I'll literally like go to a store. And I'll just put it in the cart. And not even think about it like, Oh, I just you know, it's habit.

Scott Benner 53:09
And it's expensive. So the weed is like I get I get the smoking the weed for like, your anxiety or for stuff like that. But at some point, I mean, you can't hit the you can't hit that Bong, constantly all day long. Can you like I mean, because those kids are gonna get older but not go to school to? I mean, well, yeah, but you're not hiding down on them. But you're not going to hide the smell of weed from them. You do? You don't think I walk in your house right now? I know you've been smoking today. Unless

"Wilfred" 53:39
you go to the cabinet that has it in it.

Scott Benner 53:42
You know that gets in your hair on you or anything like that. Oh,

"Wilfred" 53:45
probably on me. Yeah, go outside.

Scott Benner 53:49
I think maybe it talks. What about smoking? It's not good for you. Yeah. But just a dry vape pen. Would that give you the same hit?

"Wilfred" 53:57
Yeah, no, I'm not. I have been a fan of those. I've tried to the edibles and I've literally like 1000 milligrams and it just doesn't do anything.

Scott Benner 54:06
I've seen some like I've seen a couple of like hardcore stoners use those.

"Wilfred" 54:12
Those drives, I just drive the ideas to come give me one of his I suppose yourself, each

Scott Benner 54:17
LED as To me that's a reference not many people, or maybe people will go I don't know. That's

"Wilfred" 54:22
okay. I get all your references.

Scott Benner 54:26
I just I don't know. Like, I mean, do you really? Like if you separate yourself from yourself again? And you look at yourself, do you think it's going to be okay, if I hit a bong all day long for the rest of my life?

"Wilfred" 54:37
Yeah, you know, I'm probably not going to for the rest of my life. But the you know, the weeds good. I tried to think of how to explain it. So

Scott Benner 54:45
I'm waiting. I'm waiting for an explanation because I don't I mean, I don't know that it's right or wrong. I'm just asking what you think.

"Wilfred" 54:51
I think we I think we're totally fine, but I definitely don't plan on doing it like I do right now for the rest of my life. I'm hoping I'll be able to have, you know, figured out how to manage my anxiety better? Right now just focus on quitting drink?

Scott Benner 55:05
Do you remember the after dark with the stripper? Yes. And I asked her what she eats. And she said Jack and Coke. And then she qualified it by saying she meant doing coke and drinking Jack Daniels is basically her diet. Yeah. And how she was like, oh, it's no problem. Like, there's you know, you know, I'm good like that. She sounds like you like right now, a few months ago, she contacted me to tell me that she stopped like, she's, you know, on the wagon. And she didn't realize about, you know, it's a personal message, maybe. But she said to being on the podcast really helped her like reevaluate herself.

"Wilfred" 55:46
Yeah, you know, kind of hoping what maybe happens here? He I mean, I don't I think I have myself pretty fairly evaluated.

Scott Benner 55:56
No, you actually sound like you do. It's just the at the end of the evaluation. It feels like you're giving me an excuse why it's okay. Yeah.

"Wilfred" 56:04
Oh, no, it's Yeah, I don't think it's, I don't think what I'm doing is okay. But it's, it's not good for me. But it's not good for my kids to see. Right.

Scott Benner 56:12
Yeah. And your relationship with your wife? And like, all that stuff. You don't I mean, like, you have like years to stay together and ignore each other. You don't want to miss that.

"Wilfred" 56:22
So not wrong about that?

Scott Benner 56:25
Do you really want to be high while you're not having sex through your 40s and 50s? Hmm, I want to be higher when I'm I want to be present for those moments. You scare

"Wilfred" 56:33
me? Because I don't know. I'm just hearing about my future sex life just

Scott Benner 56:38
here to scare people. That's my job. Hilarious. Can you tell me a little bit about like, being a pretty consistent day drinker? You know, smoking weed the way you do and managing diabetes? Like so. You said you're doing that? I think how's that going? reason

"Wilfred" 56:54
I'm still doing the self management the way I'm doing is probably because I'm still oh, what? What is still going through the steps of grief?

Scott Benner 57:04
She's like, No, that's very possible. For sure. Like

"Wilfred" 57:07
it's been so it's been over a year, but it's it's been the hardest year, you know, and I gotten really good at it. Thanks to your podcast. You know, standard deviation isn't great, but the kids for? He's got a 6.0 a one C so well, good for you. I'm trying to go lower. I'm aiming for five, seven, that's what I'm going to be happy. He's Omnipod, five, Omnipod? Five, Dexcom? Six.

Scott Benner 57:37
Okay. How did you accomplish that? Like, where did that? Where did that all start? Like coming out of the hospital? First couple of months,

"Wilfred" 57:45
we left the hospital. We didn't have anything. We were like, they were saying we're hopeful we're gonna get you a Dexcom. And I was like, okay. So it was like, you know, we left the hospital, we're gonna go to the BDC, three days in a row for training. On the first day, they were like, This is what we're doing today, learning about injections and all that. And then hopefully, tomorrow, we'll have a Dexcom for you. And they actually had Dexcom, I think, before we left, they were like, here's the Dexcom. So we had the Dexcom right away, which was great. Had the Omni pod lined up after we you know, because they're like, do you want t slim or Omni pod? Those are the ones that were we have here that your insurance approves or whatever else I did my research, don't want tubes obviously had the Omni pod for like five to seven months, I forget exactly how long it was. But we had it for a long time without using it. And I looked back and I'm kind of grateful that I didn't use it for a long time because I learned a lot about how the insulin effect is his body. But also that thing really helps you sleep. So I regret not putting it on sooner for that reason. Every time I go into the Endo, which has been a few times now they're like, Oh, so you made this change. They're very cool with it. They're like awesome. He looks like he's doing good. Do you have any questions? And I'm like, No. Do you need any prescriptions? You know, that's it? Like, it's, I did not think I would be there when that kind of bricks fell on me that day.

Scott Benner 59:19
Does that give you a feeling of accomplishment?

"Wilfred" 59:22
A little bit. A little bit of I'm not there yet. Cuz, you know, standard deviations. Not great. He's, it's like, I think in the 30s or 40s. My goal is to be between five five and five, seven. So people I talk to they're like, oh, that's your you're killing yourself doing that. I'm like, but I'm saving him so I don't care.

Scott Benner 59:44
Well, listen, I think you're doing a really good job with this. And, you know, I think that it's not easy to learn. You learned very quickly, you know, standard deviation, you'll that'll come along, you know,

"Wilfred" 59:56
yeah. Well that's I already know why that's happening because he's a tough otherwise, sometimes we don't Pre-Bolus You know, I know why it's happening. It's

Scott Benner 1:00:04
but you're able to manage a spike back down without causing a low.

"Wilfred" 1:00:07
Yeah, that's a lot. Sometimes there's a low but yeah, but that's

Scott Benner 1:00:11
a lot. Man, you've you've, you've come a long way in a short time. I

"Wilfred" 1:00:15
know, I just can't wait for them to like, do a little bit more. Like the day he comes to me. Like, when you sit around was like, Is there anything I can do that can help and you were like, stopped eating cereal. If he does that. I'm gonna bawl my eyes out. Like, why? Because it's, it'll be the day that he's like, hey, it's I'm trying to do everything without trying to let him be a kid right now. You know, like, I don't want him to think about his diabetes, although he's very, very possessive of his diabetes. We were thinking about checking his sister's blood sugar. And he goes, No, no, this is my blood sugars. No, he wouldn't let us check her sugars.

Scott Benner 1:00:52
The dirty little kid my meter. Yeah.

"Wilfred" 1:00:56
He's, he's very proud of it everywhere. He goes, Hi, I'm, you know, and then he's OS X as I, he Hi, I'm my name. And I have diabetes. Yeah. So you did, buddy. That's wonderful.

Scott Benner 1:01:09
It I mean, listen, that's wonderful. I can't let you off the hook for not giving yourself credit for yet. Like, what do you what do you have to get to to give yourself credit? Like you came a really long way in a difficult thing in a short amount of time?

"Wilfred" 1:01:20
I don't know. When I quit see into hundreds.

Scott Benner 1:01:25
Yeah. All right. Well, good luck. He's got diabetes, you're gonna see that sometimes you don't I mean,

"Wilfred" 1:01:30
yeah, I know. But when I quit seeing it on a daily basis, or on a on a meal to meal basis,

Scott Benner 1:01:36
could I get you to give yourself credit for how far you've come so far? 100% I'm doing great. Yeah,

"Wilfred" 1:01:42
I really think you are. Yeah, nearly lost it on the Walmart lady the other day, though, cuz she was like, he goes, I am. And I have diabetes. And she goes, my husband has that. I'm so so sorry that you're dealing with and I was like, Are you can you not be negative right now? This kid just is very happy. And you're coming down. Like, stop it.

Scott Benner 1:02:04
Did you want to die? 500 to be like, Heck, yeah. diabetes? Up top baby. No. Wish you probably could have that. What might have been the kids energy? Yeah. Well, in fairness, you hadn't had a beer in an hour and a half. So you might have been a little touchy. No, no, I'm just, that's true.

"Wilfred" 1:02:23
I always go shopping before that, you know, Oh,

Scott Benner 1:02:26
okay. Yeah. We're not drinking and driving with the kids, right? Absolutely.

"Wilfred" 1:02:30
Not even without the kids.

Scott Benner 1:02:33
Even without the kids. I don't even do that. On my own time, baby. Well, good for you. Come on. I got to be a little response. Well, there's, you know, there's gonna be a modicum of people listening to this that are like, you know, you didn't treat this very seriously Scott and stuff like that, but I will listen, I'm gonna tell you this. I think we're treating.

"Wilfred" 1:02:49
I love you, Scott. I don't care.

Scott Benner 1:02:51
I thank you. I think we're treating it very seriously. I think that this is an honest conversation about how a person in your situation feels and lives. And you know, to sit around and pretend otherwise is and I

"Wilfred" 1:03:03
just think there's probably somebody out there who's somebody like that somebody?

Scott Benner 1:03:08
I think every third person is like, I tell you

"Wilfred" 1:03:12
what, if that person is out there, and you want to reach out to Scott who can then reach out to me, that's fine. I'm down.

Scott Benner 1:03:19
Okay, listen, what do you have put me what am I your secretary? What just happened to

"Wilfred" 1:03:24
be middle man in this situation? You know, I don't want every but if somebody's going through that, you know, I don't want everybody to know my info, but I'll give somebody like that. I could hook up with them. Let's do this together. So basically,

Scott Benner 1:03:35
I'm running like a day drinker. Tinder template. Yeah. So you guys can all find each other. Good. Find out where your beer sales are, whatever. Like, why involved? I got a business already. I don't need that. But honestly, like, I find these conversations to be the most valuable. Like because, you know, somebody can come on here and say, like what you're supposed to say,

"Wilfred" 1:03:59
I think somebody might be my situation and not even know that they're like, Oh, are

Scott Benner 1:04:04
you kidding? Me? People are like, Wait, you can't drink a beer every two hours. Why not? You know, like, that's I like to drink it is refreshing. Or is that didn't help now. But like, you know, you can see it after talking to you like you can see the pattern of events, right, like you grow up in a weird household. There's the addictive nature with your mom, you know, even though she wasn't around you very long, you know, either rubs off

"Wilfred" 1:04:33
when trauma happens, it's almost impossible to escape it. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:04:37
But it rubs off on you and or it's genetic to some level, like we're a mixture of the two whatever. You know, by the time you're 18 you're smoking weed, then you get put into a weird circumstance where you're having to like help a closeted gay man. Get dressed, who's got Parkinson's, and then you have like, just the anxiety and stress of that is already You do too much for young person, then there's the weird thing that happens, which it ramps it up. I wouldn't start drinking right there. So like, I'm like, but I'm not I don't have that kind of. That's the difference, right? Like, right, but you're just like, let's go. Like I got a lot of weirdness going on here a lot. I was

"Wilfred" 1:05:17
20 years old. I was like, my mom's an alcoholic, but I can do this, like, I'm gonna show her that it's

Scott Benner 1:05:22
easy. Do you really thought that? Like I can, like I can do this responsibly? 100% Yeah. Not a fear. I guess not. If you've got alcoholism like that. There's no, I'm not doing that.

"Wilfred" 1:05:34
And then the, you know, I do really good. Like, I've had almost a year sober at times. But this disease, like, once it happens, it's like, there's almost like it almost creates more traumas that you're, you don't realize they're happening. Like, right, right after his diagnosis. He didn't have a solid stool for three or four months. So we were constantly changing shitty sheets. And like, just he was had shipped blowouts three times a day, like he had what's called toddler's diarrhea, or into the pediatrician. And then he started having night terrors. And it's like, When is this gonna end?

Scott Benner 1:06:10
Yeah, that's not fun. Yeah, and then that pushes on you, and then you kind of fall into your stuff, then.

"Wilfred" 1:06:17
Yeah, night terrors is the worst. Like, there's nothing worse than your kid being like, almost, it seems like he's conscious. But he's freaking out, like monsters are trying to grab them. And you're like,

Scott Benner 1:06:31
probably having his own response to whatever happened. Yeah, you know, well, but now the thing is, is that if you look back at your own story, and then look at where you are, now, you have a finite amount of time right here to stop this from being your kids story. That's the thing. That I mean, that's where you're at, honestly, right. Yeah. So I think you got to do something.

"Wilfred" 1:06:55
Well, you know, I think my mom's method of scaring she she's doing the scare tactic. I think that's what she's trying to do. She's like, this is where you're gonna end up if you keep going. I

Scott Benner 1:07:08
think your mom is smoking crack to try to help you. It's a joke. That's optimistic. I'll show the kids what they don't want to be. Yep. Yeah, that didn't work for you guys. Like, you know, some people say like, so I should probably not try to take that tactic. Yeah, I don't think it's a I mean, it's a proven loser is what I'm saying here. As far as a tactic goes. Yeah, isn't it funny, some people see a behavior and they go towards it. And some people see behavior, and they run away from it. You are going you're going towards it. I went away from it. And then I was like, dang, I gotta go back. It's fine. I can do it looks I can manage it. So I'm going to be better than Yeah. Wrong. What would be a good replacement for the beer? I don't want to get an awful lot

"Wilfred" 1:07:53
more stuff to clean cuz I like to clean.

Scott Benner 1:07:57
That's a little tight by the cleaning thing.

"Wilfred" 1:07:58
I'm a little I'm a little, a little bit of a pain. Yeah, that

Scott Benner 1:08:02
happened a little bit. I mean, I just think I think you got a

"Wilfred" 1:08:05
wife thinks I'm OCD. But my therapist says I'm not so you have a therapist. I don't. That's another thing I was gonna bring up. I got we got one. Shortly after diagnosis and our insurance at the time only covered? Like for free sessions. Yeah, per person. So I was like, oh, like every three months or something. And I got like three of them out of the way real quick, because I didn't realize that at the time. And I was like, well, I'll save my last one. Now that I know, that's the case. And now we're on we got a better insurance plan. So we're both going back. Good. Well, that's a good that's what that's my next plan is.

Scott Benner 1:08:42
Can I make a suggestion? Don't make a plan. Just get off the call with me and then call the therapist and make an appointment. I think you need to plan. You're not the eighth team. You know what I mean? Well,

"Wilfred" 1:08:51
all right. Yeah. I'm waiting on some referrals at the moment. Okay.

Scott Benner 1:08:55
Yeah. But go towards it as fast as you can. Yeah. I'm

"Wilfred" 1:08:58
not gonna I'm not gonna sit on it. My wife is in charge right now. She's the one who's handling that. So I'm probably going to have an appointment next week. You know, excellent.

Scott Benner 1:09:06
That's great. I love that for you. I love that.

"Wilfred" 1:09:10
She looked into it after our insurance rolled over and she goes, it looks like we just have a little bit of a copay now for therapy and it's not that bad. And I was like, okay, and she goes, I want to reach out and she's Yeah, she's she's a badass.

Scott Benner 1:09:23
That's wonderful. I mean, it sounds like she really cares and she's trying to get everybody you know, I mean, since she stuck with you she would rather you probably be okay I'm gonna shank him yet.

"Wilfred" 1:09:34
I don't think maybe when we went maybe when little man can take care of himself she might

Scott Benner 1:09:41
just biding your time so smother you with a pillow says kids just letting me do

"Wilfred" 1:09:44
my job now. One day I'm gonna teach

Scott Benner 1:09:48
you one of them the vacuum and the other one to cook and then you're done. She probably got plans. Oh, I would imagine probably like drawn out like that. In Mallrats like blueprints and everything. If there's a reference, I knew you're gonna go. I did. And then pick any bam,

"Wilfred" 1:10:09
I get all your older references because I was like, my, my grandma was my main influence in my life after my mom pieced out my grandma would take care of us when my dad works. So she I would watch a lot of old shows. So I get all the references. Lovely.

Scott Benner 1:10:26
Oh, good. She and she sounded lonely. So she had time for you guys.

"Wilfred" 1:10:32
I don't know if she was

Scott Benner 1:10:34
well, bored. Maybe at the very good into. You know, before we started recording, we were like, you were like, I don't think I should use my name. I'm gonna say some stuff. Probably that, you know, maybe I don't want to be attached. Sure it was gonna come out. But did it actually come out? Or is there other stuff? Oh, I'm

"Wilfred" 1:10:51
sure there. I mean, there's definitely more.

Scott Benner 1:10:54
That's a world that is so interesting, where you said all that crazy stuff. And you're like, there's more. But when you think you don't, you don't have to tell me what all this stuff is. People are like, shut up and let them talk. But, but like, can you see how those things led you to where you are?

"Wilfred" 1:11:09
Oh, yeah. Those things and the influences that those things like? are like, yeah, yeah, I can see where they lead me.

Scott Benner 1:11:19
It's mental illness and addiction that kind of pushed your life in this direction. Do you think that happened to your mom as well that she had that going on? And in her parenting? I

"Wilfred" 1:11:29
don't know. Because I don't know enough about like, like her parents helped raise me more than she did. Which is kind of weird. I know more about them than I actually do about her. But they were not willing. They had never talked about I'll share my stuff. Yeah, like about what was happening? How

Scott Benner 1:11:47
does your mom support herself? She's 60 years old ish, and doesn't work and as a craft as welfare pays for crack?

"Wilfred" 1:11:54
I don't She's living with some, some guy who's old, like she is. And I think he might have some, like Veterans Assistance or something as well. And like, she, I don't know, I really, I really don't because I haven't talked to her in so long. But these are just assumptions that I'm making. Because listen,

Scott Benner 1:12:14
let me say this, just pull yourself together just so that one day you don't live with some old guy who has Veterans Assistance. Like you say never, but I don't know what's gonna happen to you. You don't either. Like you're doing wrong. Yeah. So I'm saying like, don't put your foot via cloud on the other side, there will be a clown on the other side of that door. And that clown might be a veteran who's like, Hey, if you sit here and do this, I'll pay the bills. And you're like, oh, okay, I guess I'm doing it. But seriously, like, like, give yourself some agency that make, you know, make decisions that allow you to make decisions. This

"Wilfred" 1:12:47
therapy is going to help a lot. I've done it before. It's been a long time since I've been when I got to go for those three sessions. The first one I really liked. But then we found out that she was also going to see my wife. And so I was like, well, I'll just go to a different person. And I did not like the second guy. So I'm going to my wife is going to set up something. I think she's like, You need to see a female. I don't think you can be honest with a man. And I was like, Oh, I don't know. I just think men are more. Like, just do this and do that. And you know, I want to cry sometimes. So I can stuff like that. And yeah, I don't need I don't want that. I want to cry. Yeah. Sounds like you need a guy who had all the fields because those episodes Oh,

Scott Benner 1:13:33
yeah. No, there's a lot of a lot of crying in Josh's episodes. But yeah, you need a mother figure to like, open up to where I don't think this is like, like any deep thinking on my part, right? Oh, no. Yeah, you already know. You already have my dad.

"Wilfred" 1:13:49
My wife has made it very clear. I have mommy issues. Yeah. No, I was pretty aware of it to before but

Scott Benner 1:13:57
I just I'd like to be I honestly, I'd like to see you be able to just go out without having a smoke.

I think that'd be a big deal for you.

You know, that scares? You? Know,

"Wilfred" 1:14:08
don't scare me at all. Okay, I think that'd be a big deal just doesn't seem appealing.

Scott Benner 1:14:12
Now, listen, I'll make a short list of things in life that aren't appealing. But I like you're not drinking the beer and going out once in a while straight and I bet you that moves you in the right direction.

"Wilfred" 1:14:22
Oh, yeah, definitely. Yeah. Yeah, I was. I'm gonna get there. I'm not too worried about it. Well,

Scott Benner 1:14:29
I hope you check back in with me in a year and you tell me a story about how this all worked out? Or you can come back on and tell me how to cook rock. Okay, whichever ends up being your path.

"Wilfred" 1:14:40
Oh, probably not. It'll be growing mushrooms or something. Oh, yeah.

Scott Benner 1:14:44
Well keep it more of the hippie level.

"Wilfred" 1:14:46
Yeah, uppers aren't my thing.

Scott Benner 1:14:49
Why is cocaine so prevalent now? I

"Wilfred" 1:14:52
don't know. But it is. I didn't I've done it. I've done crack. I don't like it. I just they're not my thing. I've I've done everything but heroin and meth. So, I'm saving those for when I die smoke the crack or you shoot it. I smoked it. I've never shot anything. I'm not fancy. Okay, believe it or not before all this happened, I had a needle phobia. I know like it might have had something to do drag to push a plunger into my friends all I

Scott Benner 1:15:17
thought for sure, like when you said that you were going to be like, that's why I had to get my kid at Omni pod Omni pod.com forward slash juice box when you have any definitely,

"Wilfred" 1:15:23
although you should. Omnipod is the best. Thank you.

Scott Benner 1:15:27
I don't know if you're selling for me right now. They're

"Wilfred" 1:15:29
probably like I could sell for you all day. I like all your products. So

Scott Benner 1:15:32
you don't think that the company right now is like not this guy. Not that Dexcom under the bus? You don't you don't think that companies are like, oh, yeah, we want to be the we definitely want to be the preferred product of day drinking weed smokers. But actually, you know what you might want to be the preferred

"Wilfred" 1:15:50
to work out to you want to reach out to a better health on this. Better

Scott Benner 1:15:55
help? Yeah. Oh, by the way, I do have a better help link better health.com/juice box if you want to get 20% off your first. Is that first month of therapy? I think it is. Yeah, it's such a weird thing having a podcast. Like when you started, I wish I

"Wilfred" 1:16:09
had the ability. Like I don't know, I don't have the social skills that you do. But it would be a convenient way to work from home. I feel like it actually

Scott Benner 1:16:18
is a very convenient way to work from home. But if you can't come up with gems, like, if it's hard, the angles easy, then you're not going to be able to do this, because that's really that's next level stuff.

"Wilfred" 1:16:29
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I'm not I'm not there. That's why I listen and don't.

Scott Benner 1:16:33
I'm a modern day. Henny Youngman over here. So but never

"Wilfred" 1:16:38
be on this podcast. And I heard in Africa, and I was like, maybe what are

Scott Benner 1:16:42
you? What does that say that again? I was I listened

"Wilfred" 1:16:45
to a lot of the episodes. I started from number one. And I was like, I could never be on this podcast. Like dudes too awesome. Like, he just knows so much. Like, I feel like an idiot. And then the first afterdark came on, and I was like, I could totally, I

Scott Benner 1:16:57
could do one of these. Yeah, I swear to God, this would I would do more of these. But they're not as popular as you would think they are the people who love the after darks really love them. But they get skipped a little bit by like, 15% of the audience. Yeah,

"Wilfred" 1:17:12
that's annoying, is there's a lot of valuable information in there for and I don't think people even realize it.

Scott Benner 1:17:17
I think so to actually but you know, everybody doesn't love everything. So that's fine. So that's why I tried to literally

"Wilfred" 1:17:22
skipped one of your episodes. And it's just because I couldn't stand the girls voice. I'm not going to say which one it was because I told

Scott Benner 1:17:29
you, but you'll tell me when we stopped the recording. Oh, yeah. Okay, thank

"Wilfred" 1:17:32
you. But you gotta give me some sort of gem that other other listeners aren't going to get for six months.

Scott Benner 1:17:37
I mean, listen, if I had chips, I'd send you on for sure. Yeah, like, you know what it means? Like, I just, I thought about that before, by the way, giving out prizes for listening to the entire pot because people come to me sometimes, like, I just finished the whole podcast and I'm like, wait, what? Like, I That's wonderful. Like, first of all, I can't tell you how nice that feels. But you know, to me, but the other side of is like, I've, I've like I've told my kids and they're like, Oh, that's too much of you. And I'm like,

"Wilfred" 1:18:04
I can't give you too much credit because I'm the kind of person that would have figured this out. But I would not have figured it out in a month. Like

Scott Benner 1:18:12
yeah, the podcast actually helped you like draw it all together that quick. Oh, it's

"Wilfred" 1:18:16
sped it up like crazy. I in the first month I was like I don't I don't I've I've listened to all the management episodes. I'm literally listening to it for therapy at this point. I know what I'm doing. I'm just it's therapy at this point for me. I

Scott Benner 1:18:30
hear that from a lot of people actually just listening for the comfort and everything but it so quick. Let me put this out here to other people who are like I can't figure out diabetes. This guy did he's a little drunk and high almost constantly and he's afraid to meet a person at a walking Park and he got out pretty sure any smoke smoked crack before and and he's got it figured out I want to know what your excuses Okay, seriously Can I get a review that says now? I don't know. I would love I would love a review that said I've smoked crack and even I understand the diabetes information in this puck. He's gonna do me a favor if you don't do that, by the way. But I think that would be my favorite review better than the one who said I love the podcast. It's so helpful, but I don't like the guy.

"Wilfred" 1:19:31
Got to admit, I think the first couple episodes I was like, I your sarcasm took a little while to get used

Scott Benner 1:19:36
to. Yeah, I could probably be off putting if you don't know. I'm

"Wilfred" 1:19:41
pretty sarcastic but I'm not as sarcastic so I was just a little bit like I got used to it pretty quick.

Scott Benner 1:19:46
I've got an East Coast sarcasm that's it's very finely refined. It's not it's not for the faint of heart. And especially, you know, those people in the West Coast. They can't like although I'm gonna set me I don't like to equate myself to the pocket. The podcast is really popular in California. But anyway, I love you guys. I love everybody. I can't believe how many. I can't believe that if I pulled up a list of where this podcast was heard that it includes 48 different countries.

"Wilfred" 1:20:11
It's insane. I know. I was like, one of your episodes you go into in the end, like how many people in the countries and I'm just like astonished. Yeah, no, no, I

Scott Benner 1:20:22
am to just die. So you're you're really

"Wilfred" 1:20:24
great with accents. Where do you think I'm from? Oh, why would we don't want to say though? Oh, no, but you don't think you're gonna guess where I'm actually where I was born? Oh,

Scott Benner 1:20:35
there's a little like Canadian, Minnesota in some of the things you say? No, seriously? Yeah, just a tiny little bit that mom. And and I hear from way far away from that. Hold on. And I hear a little bit of Seattle to note now where do you want to tell me if we can bleep it out?

"Wilfred" 1:20:54
It's a huge state. So it doesn't matter. It's Texas.

Scott Benner 1:20:57
But you're from Texas. That's how you found Florida. So easy. I was right there. I

"Wilfred" 1:21:03
think my southern has left me I guess

Scott Benner 1:21:05
there's no southern I get a little bit like almost Canadian once in a while. But your step Mom's got that vibe. Yeah, she's up there in the north. I think you picked it up a little bit from her maybe? I think so. Yeah, the attitude was more like Oregon. So that's why I was guessing like Washington.

"Wilfred" 1:21:22
Very hippie, I guess I would say so. That makes sense. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:21:25
No, I mean, that's fair. I've seen your mustache. Yeah, have to buy products for that or does it? No, no, that's that's pretty impressive. Seriously, that's a very masculine mustache.

"Wilfred" 1:21:39
I that's a that's a summertime thing in the winter. I have I let it grow.

Scott Benner 1:21:44
I have to tell you something. If that mustache is natural like that. Let bushiness. I see what your grandfather was reaching for.

Let's leave it at that. Go ahead

and find another podcast and I'll make fun of a man for being hit on by his grandfather. You're not gonna find it.

"Wilfred" 1:22:01
Yeah, dementia, you know, you gotta give him a little bit of Listen, we

Scott Benner 1:22:04
won't be looked like a boy. He knew one day you know what I mean? He didn't know who I don't think he

"Wilfred" 1:22:10
said my name. So

Scott Benner 1:22:13
my god, get go to therapy. I appreciate you doing this. My one let down here is that we were going to do this one, like, not like a bleep to Napoli version of it, and you really didn't curse that much.

"Wilfred" 1:22:26
You know, I think it's, um, it was raised by my grandma. I don't curse naturally a lot. But like I do. If I'm like, like, if I'm talking about you like and what you don't for me, and I say I love you. Yeah, it doesn't. That's not working for me. I have to say like, I fucking love you. Like, I cannot leave the eff out in a situation like that. But, and most of the time I tried. You know, my grandma's probably watching me. I don't know. I'm not religious. But I still feel that way. So

Scott Benner 1:22:53
I still think that lady's looking down on you hurt. Her

"Wilfred" 1:22:56
energy is out there. And I don't want I don't Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:22:59
you don't want to hear you're saying motherfucker or something like that.

"Wilfred" 1:23:03
Not all the time. What's your line? Only if it means something? Well, it's gotta mean something. What

Scott Benner 1:23:08
word would you not say?

"Wilfred" 1:23:10
No, I don't have a line. My favorite word is Conte. Okay.

Scott Benner 1:23:13
I didn't know you're going right there. But okay. Right now for stopping before you get me to say my favorite curse words and then people stop listening to the podcast or like I used to like that guy. But he said his favorite curse word and it made me very uncomfortable. Alright, man, you were great. Wilford. I think you did the real world for Brimley. A real service here. What? What an homage.

"Wilfred" 1:23:35
Anybody who's offended by that? Yeah,

Scott Benner 1:23:38
get over it. Also, Wilford Brimley had a hell of a mustache?

"Wilfred" 1:23:41
He did. He did.

Scott Benner 1:23:44
Damn. All right. Well, then you're the wars. Cuckoo good show. What are we going to call this one? I mean, it's an after dark, but is it after dark?

"Wilfred" 1:23:51
Don't touch me. Grandfathers call me grandpa.

Scott Benner 1:23:54
I don't think we could do that. Okay, we're gonna think about this. Maybe I'll just go with I Am the Walrus. Work. Alright, it's good to talk to you, man. I really appreciate you doing this. Sincerely.

"Wilfred" 1:24:07
I appreciate you man. Take care. Thank you.

Scott Benner 1:24:10
Hold on one second. A huge thanks to a longtime sponsor touched by type one please check them out on Facebook, Instagram, and at touched by type one.org. If you're looking to support an organization that's supporting people with type one diabetes, check out touched by type on today's episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by Dexcom, makers of the Dexcom G seven and G six continuous glucose monitoring systems. dexcom.com/juicebox Jalen is an incredible example of what so many experience living with diabetes. You show up for yourself and others every day, never letting diabetes define you. And that is what the Medtronic champion community is all about. Each of us is strong. On And together, we're even stronger. To hear more stories from the Medtronic champion community where to share your own story, visit Medtronic diabetes.com/juicebox And look out online for the hashtag Medtronic champion. If you're not already subscribed or following in your favorite audio app, please take the time now to do that. It really helps the show and get those automatic downloads set up so you never miss an episode. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording. Wrong way recording.com

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#1272 Chicken Coop Intrigue

Melissa unraveled a web of lies.

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio -  Radio Public, Amazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to episode 1272 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Today's episode is with Melissa she has three children her middle child has type one diabetes, and today we're going to pick through her story of how her child was diagnosed and what made it so difficult to figure out and what else they found out about their lives while they were looking around. Nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan. When you decide that you want incredibly comfortable and quality sheets, towels and clothing, you'll be going to cozy earth.com If you've made that decision, you might as well save 40% off of your entire order by using the offer code juicebox. At checkout, surround yourself in quality for 40% off juice box at checkout at cozy earth.com. I know that Facebook has a bad reputation, but please give the private Facebook group for the Juicebox Podcast. A healthy once over Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes. The group now has 47,000 members in it. It gets 150 new members a day just completely free. And at the very least you can watch other people talk about diabetes and everybody is welcome type one type two gestational loved ones. Everyone is welcome. today's podcast is sponsored by us med us med.com/juice box you can get your diabetes supplies from the same place that we do and I'm talking about Dexcom li Bray Omni pod tandem and so much more. Us med.com/juice box or call 888721151 for this episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the ever since CGM. Ever since it's gonna let you break away from some of the CGM norms you may be accustomed to no more weekly or bi weekly hassles of sensor changes. Never again will you be able to accidentally bump your sensor off. You won't have to carry around CGM supplies and worrying about your adhesive lasting. Well that's the thing of the past ever since cgm.com/juicebox. This show is sponsored today by the glucagon that my daughter carries. G voc hypo Penn. Find out more at G voc glucagon.com. Forward slash juicebox.

Melissa 2:35
Well, I'm Melissa. I have three kids at home. And my middle child figured out how to get around middle child syndrome by developing type one diabetes in October of 2021. I am one of those weird chicken ladies. I have a husband like him. He's at work right now. But yeah, even children are running amok, I'm sure because we homeschool. And they our kids are 1411 and about to be five. And

Scott Benner 3:06
the 11 year old has type one for a couple of years. Right,

Melissa 3:09
Leah? Yeah,

Scott Benner 3:11
okay. Yeah. All right.

Melissa 3:13
That's why I like that episode. I choose Leah because I

Scott Benner 3:16
do. Oh, no kidding. Yeah, I guess you do that episode. Love that episode. For the moment. You're gonna be chicken lady if you're not careful. So you know. You don't I say do something better than that. Or you're stuck.

Melissa 3:31
Oh, I'm sure we can do better than that. Tell me

Scott Benner 3:35
about colons. You raise chickens for eggs?

Melissa 3:39
Yes. My youngest. So we started out doing it like just to be you know, hippie homesteader type deal. And then my youngest came out, apparently with like, major food allergies. She stopped gaining weight, that sort of thing. So having access to food that I control, the sourcing, the feeding that everything got really important. And she passed eggs when she was about two. But before that, like there was a period of time where to nurse her I was eating lamb from one local farm, tallow that I rendered from that farm and plantains and like sugar, salt and a specific random bottle water. You

Scott Benner 4:26
had these specifically just to breastfeed your youngest, who has food allergies, what kind of food allergies, does she have?

Melissa 4:32
Nothing IGE mediated, so allergy can't help us. And gi couldn't help us. It's really like only the hippie out there alternative stuff that's helped at all, and she's still on a pretty limited diet. So I kind of live in the kitchen. You know, it was really no big deal to add on. Maybe we'll cut some carbs. Because I already lived in the kitchen.

Scott Benner 4:53
I just I just get up a roommate and I make food. That's what I do. That's what I do all day. Wow. What happens to her if she gets Some food that she's allergic to. So

Melissa 5:02
when she was a tiny baby, she would stop gaining weight completely. Like she didn't gain weight at all, like not, I mean, I'd milk flying everywhere like, but she didn't gain weight for weeks on end. And then when I cut my diet down to almost nothing, and she started gaining slowly, and then when I figured out exactly what she could tolerate, which is very few things, then she gained like a newborn again. Here until the end, probably. I don't know. I see. Sort of inflammatory process. Yeah,

Scott Benner 5:33
that's what I'm saying. Nobody can help us with. And that's been. Thank you, everybody. That's been her whole life.

Melissa 5:41
Yes. She stopped gaining weight when she was about six weeks old.

Scott Benner 5:44
Okay. Yeah, that's her whole life. And then Leah is diagnosed at what age?

Melissa 5:48
She was nine. Okay, yeah, that nine and a half.

Scott Benner 5:55
And what was that present presentation, like, like

Melissa 5:58
a lot of people, we kind of mistook it for something benign and sell or easily resolving the story is, you know, she's always been sensitive to gluten. A year and a half before her diagnosis. She got gluten, and her pain was so severe that she ended up in the ER, like, mid COVID. She had to go into the emergency room because her pediatric nurse practitioner could not rule out appendicitis her pain was that severe. And so they did an ultrasound and did a CT scan and like the inflammation was visible, but it wasn't perfect. It wasn't her appendix, that was just just bowel inflammation. Okay.

Scott Benner 6:39
So

Melissa 6:40
then in October of 2021, we went to the annual Wildgame cookout on my husband's side, which is like a great time, I hate to miss it. Just a huge gathering of like the coolest people ever, and you have to bring meat that did not come from the grocery store. Okay, so that's really cool for us. And my husband is not as up on the whole dietary restriction thing. You know, he's used to, if it's at home, if it's if it's available, it's safe for the kid. So I just don't keep things in the house that aren't safe for them. So he allowed some desserts that were not safe. And so when she complained of belly pain, several days later, I thought, Oh, you got glute, you're backed up. This is par for the course. And she just kept getting worse. She was in pain. She didn't feel good. She was kind of sleepy. Like, you know, I mean, I don't feel great when I'm backed up either. And by that Friday, I was like, I don't like this at all. So I called the nurse practitioners office. And I was like, if she got gluten, I think this is what happened. Can I bring her in? Can you guys take a look at her and they were like, You know what, this really just sounds like something that needs a mural wax cleanup. So I with their blessing, gave my child who's going into diabetic ketoacidosis a half gallon of juice. I will take that gallon that half gallon of juice like that, the guilt of that to my grave. Oh,

Scott Benner 8:13
well, did that really change anything? Did it hurt anything? You know,

Melissa 8:18
I guess glucose at that point wasn't going to hurt anything. But we cleared any blockage but she still kept getting worse. And I really thought I need to take her to the ER and my husband's kind of like, you know, I'm sure this can wait till morning. You're just hysterical. Which you know, fair. Okay. Any other time he had been right? And so first thing, as soon as the places the urgent care walk in open in the morning, I had her in there. And by then she was doing what I now know is the Kussmaul risk. respirations Yeah, but I was thinking her belly her belly. She's got appendicitis. She's got something wrong with her belly Belly, belly belly. That's all I could think about. Cuz she'd been vomiting. I mean, Mike Scott. My kid was so sick. And I'm an idiot. It's, it's really hard to you know, the hospitalist in the PICU said to me, he was like he's like, do doctors and nurses miss this? You're not special for thinking that. It wasn't diabetes. I mean, I I really hadn't had that come across my brain. I know why you would think we take Yeah, we take her to the walk in.

Scott Benner 9:26
Hey, she got a great the day before, which a lot of people don't get that. That's nice.

Melissa 9:33
Yeah, yeah, there you go. Yeah,

Scott Benner 9:35
it's all you did something.

Melissa 9:37
I do feel like I tortured her. It's hard to shop that.

Scott Benner 9:42
My gosh, I'm now thinking I'd love a lovely clean out. What do you think of that? As you're talking about? I'm

Melissa 9:47
like, Are you off your Metamucil? Like take your magnesium Scott,

Scott Benner 9:50
don't worry, I took my magnesium. Everything's fine. But I'm just saying like, you know, that might be nice.

Melissa 9:56
Yeah, especially if you're going into the hospital. So You take her to a walk in the nurse practitioner. There's great listens to her belly. Yeah, her belly sounds funny. Yeah, she's a little altered. And she's like, I would like you to take her to the ER, like right now. And I said, Okay, can I take her to the one here in town? Or do I need to drive 45 minutes to children's? I'd rather go to children. She's like, Okay, go to children. And then, you know, I'm carrying my staggering five foot tall, you know, I don't know what she probably weighed 70 something pounds at that point down from 90 something she's a tall, solid girl. Um, you know, we're staggering out and the nurse practitioner goes let me get you your analysis cup. Let's let's get a sample before you get on the road. And I'm sure she was going to check you know now in retrospect, I think oh, that's what she was doing. She just wanted to confirm for glucose that the ER could be the ER cuz

Scott Benner 10:51
she could do that while you were driving. So she could call there and be like, Hey, I just sent a kid over with diabetes.

Melissa 10:57
Yes, she was like Do not stop for gas do not suck. Just go. Just go. And we were almost to Nashville when you ran out of gas. I'm just kidding. No, no, we're almost to Nashville and I the number pops up for her normal nurse practitioner like the one we see the one who has her primary care provider. That's weird. And so I pick it up and she says are you sitting down? I said I'm in the car. racing to the ER What do you want and

Scott Benner 11:26
if you take insulin or sulfonylureas you are at risk for your blood sugar going too low. You need a safety net when it matters most. Be ready with G voc hypo pen. My daughter carries G voc hypo pen everywhere she goes because it's a ready to use rescue pen for treating very low blood sugar and people with diabetes ages two and above that I trust. Low blood sugar emergencies can happen unexpectedly and they demand quick action. Luckily, G voc hypo pen can be administered in two simple steps even by yourself in certain situations. Show those around you where you storage evoke hypo pen and how to use it. They need to know how to use G Bo Capo pen before an emergency situation happens. Learn more about why G voc hypo pen is in Ardens diabetes toolkit at G voc glucagon.com/juicebox. G voc shouldn't be used if you have a tumor in the gland on the top of your kidneys called a pheochromocytoma. Or if you have a tumor in your pancreas called an insulinoma. Visit G voc glucagon.com/risk. For safety information. I don't know how you guys order your diabetes supplies like CGM pumps and testing equipment. But at our house, we use us Med and I'm gonna walk you through the entire process right now. I'm looking at the email from us med it says it's time to refill your prescription. Dear Arden, please click the button below to place your next order. Then you click the button. That was it. Two days later, I got this email. Thank you for your order from us med we wanted to let you know that your order and it gives you an order number was shipped via UPS ground. You can track your package anytime using the link below. And then there was a link, and then it showed up at our house. Now I'm going to walk you through the entire chain of events. On the 29th which was a Saturday, I clicked on the email on that Monday. The first I got an email it said the order had been sent. Four days later on the fifth the package arrived. If you can do it easier than that. You go get it. But if you can't us med.com/juice box or call 888-721-1514 Get started today with us med get your diabetes supplies the same way we do.

Melissa 13:52
She said Okay, so your analysis shows high ketones and high glucose in her urine. She is a type one diabetic. You need to get to the ER right now. And I was like I'm almost there. Can you guys call ahead? Can you let them know? And it's it's COVID Craziness. So I'm like grabbing the mask off the back of the rearview mirror and trying to figure out how I'm gonna get this child into the ER, and stuff like that. Nobody like in at the front desk. And we're just like, let me take your temperature and like nobody was matching my urgency. I was like, my kid is really sick. We need to get her in there. And I knew that type one diabetes, like a lifelong thing. I didn't. I didn't have any illusions at that point. I was like, Oh, this is this is a big deal and it's permanent. Okay. But first we got to, you know, figure out why she's so sick right now. I didn't realize I didn't know what decay was. I didn't know why it was dangerous or why she was this sick right now. Yeah. But they took great care of us in the hospital. I was I was a bit of a mess. She was barely conscious. I read over her First endocrinologist notes yesterday just sent they they kept saying severe DKA, severe DKA. So,

Scott Benner 15:06
I feel bad for the person at the hospital takes your temperature coming because people really don't appreciate that job. You know?

Melissa 15:13
You know, usually I can be philosophical about it like, Yes, this is what we have to do. I'm just thinking that

Scott Benner 15:19
this person if you ask

Melissa 15:20
them like my kids gonna die what's gonna let me I'm

Scott Benner 15:24
just saying I think in their personal life, people say to them, what do you do for a living like, oh, I approach people with thermometers and they yell at me. It's my

Melissa 15:33
might not be fun. Yeah, nobody's favorite person.

Scott Benner 15:36
Oh, my God, I just need to take your temperature. My arms broken. Yeah, I just need to take your temperature. You don't need my damage or my arm is broken. I don't know what to tell you. They hired me to take your temperature. Okay. I gotta do it. Okay. Oh, my gosh, how long have you guys in the hospital for?

Melissa 15:51
So we came in on Saturday morning. And she was discharged. I think Monday afternoon. She was in the PICU for like, a day and a half. And then on a regular floor for like a night you had

Scott Benner 16:01
home is two years. I mean, it's not that long ago, right. Two years ago. So you had home with what? Like? What is your what are your marching orders?

Melissa 16:09
Oh, let's see we had to Seba. And we had humor along those pins. I think they sent us out of the hospital on like nine units of receba. And I think by the time she got onto a pump, four months later, she was on like, I don't know, 2020 Something unit with receba.

Unknown Speaker 16:26
How tall is she?

Melissa 16:26
Right now. She's about 5455. She grew a ton. Like she just like she hit that like puberty growth spurt. Right after diagnosis. So she's, she's in women's clothing like she is. I mean, she's gorgeous. women's

Scott Benner 16:43
clothes. If you don't want the women's clothing thing, you don't want that. Just try to avoid that as long as you can.

Melissa 16:51
So, so much more expensive than going to once upon a child. Oh, my God. Well, that's

Scott Benner 16:54
not untrue. Yeah, it's more expensive. For sure. That's one part of it. So what makes you come on the podcast that I know you listen, and you've listened for a while? And and that's fantastic. But what made you think I should come on? Well,

Melissa 17:07
you actually put out a little call, you know, hey, it was right. You know, of course, when I was thinking about coming on, like a year ago, right? We're starting some of the type two stuffs. And shortly after my daughter was diagnosed, my husband's annual screening, pop the funky one, see, like he'd been writing in the high fives for a while. And I was like, This is not good. I don't like it. But the doctors were like, Yeah, that's normal. And like, Oh, my God. And he finally had an A one C approaching seven. And they were like, oh, that's type two, let's slap a Dexcom on you. Because our former insurance. At that time, they were super, super great for diabetes, I'm so sad that we don't have that anymore. Because they covered Dexcom under percent pump supplies 100% Like outside the deductible was amazing. So they put a Dexcom on him. And then with some diet modifications, mainly cutting out sugared soda, he brought that down to 5.3. Now, I'm sure it's creeping back up. But he hasn't gone to the doctor in a while. Because the man doesn't do anything really, except he cut out soda. Right. And he got a little more receptive to my bad eating burritos, you know, that sort of thing. Like stop eating wheat. I think being gluten free keeps us out of a lot of processed carb trouble. Because it's not as convenient to find it. You know, you have to go looking for the gluten free stuff.

Scott Benner 18:29
I find I mean, I've had a ton of experience driving from the north to the south on the East Coast. And you get to a certain part. I don't know exactly when to say it is but all of a sudden just even stopping at a gas station or convenience store to get you know, bottled water, use the bathroom or something. Drinks that don't have sugar in it start to disappear as you go south. You wouldn't notice that really because you live there, I would imagine. But like,

Melissa 18:56
I'm from the Midwest, I grew up in Illinois. Okay.

Scott Benner 18:59
Do you know what I'm talking about?

Melissa 19:01
No, I don't spend much time up with you Yankees. You can

Scott Benner 19:05
buy a lot of diet or low carb drinks here that once you get where am I gonna say? Virginia, North Carolina ish. They start to disappear.

Melissa 19:20
I believe that? Yeah. And then my husband was my husband was raised in Cleveland. So I don't know we go up there. And I'm like, oh my god, the food's terrible. It's like so like everything got a by not.

Scott Benner 19:32
Well, you guys, so how did you end up in your little hippie commune that you live in now? Where you're? I mean, what are you doing? You? Yeah, chickens. It sounds like you're teaching the kids, you know, at home, like what else you're doing there? Yeah,

Melissa 19:45
I have a big garden. Let's see. I went to school in St. Louis. And that's where my husband I got married and started out and then he was looking for jobs and I'm in by training. I'm an accountant so I could work anywhere. So it was like okay, let's find you a job that you like. It's not a traveling job he was he was traveling, first married. And he came down here for Nissan. There's a big car plant in Middle Tennessee. And we just ended up here and I was I first I remember I cried on my shoulder, we're gonna be from Tennessee, and I would leave it for anything. I don't I don't always love the politics. But I do love, like, being able to target practice in my backyard, and have chickens and homeschool and what are you shooting in the backyard? Melissa? You name it.

Scott Benner 20:31
We're talking about guns? Arrows. Yeah, good.

Melissa 20:36
Oh, yeah. Hello. My dad's a police officer. My husband was in the army. So I'm familiar. I gotcha.

Scott Benner 20:42
Okay, so you say you move there for a job? Did you end up working? Like you said you could work anywhere? Did you get there and start work? Yeah.

Melissa 20:48
I worked for a malpractice insurance company. But mostly for podiatrist, it's right. It's really pretty low risk. Unless you're working on diabetics,

Scott Benner 20:58
you like doing the accounting for podiatrist. Specifically, it's, it's good for

Melissa 21:02
you with the insurance it was selling it was selling the insurance for the podiatrist and some of them are surgeons like they actually do surgery. So okay. But yeah, it was it was a great place to work, not the least of which was that it was almost an all female department, amazing people, amazing people that work with. So I left there. I always knew like a hobby, and I had kind of decided I was going to stay home with the kid. You know, I wanted to do the cloth diaper, you know, all that kind of stuff. Yeah. People were like, What are you going to do? And I was like, we'll just be poor. It'll be okay.

Scott Benner 21:32
We'll just be poor.

Melissa 21:34
Well, you know, yeah, no, I understand. At the time, I was making the same kind of money that he was giving away, then. That's an adjustment, and then put, of course, having a stay at home wife, that's, I'm sure help him in his career. Although he's super, like, liberated and stuff. He does the laundry. I love him.

Scott Benner 21:54
I love that when guys do like one of the 500 things that I do. I hear their wives like, Oh, I love him. He does the laundry. And I look around my house. And I'm like, No one appreciates the stuff I do here. Like, I know my wife is so spoiled by it. Because we've been doing it for so long. That it just all feels like oh, that stuff Scott does. If I did half the things I do in another household. I would I mean, I think that I think I'd be carried around on a throne like I really do. But it's okay. I don't mind.

Melissa 22:25
No, to be fair, I'm a terrible housekeeper. The best I can say most days is like, but have you ever run out of toilet paper? Like I do take care of those sorts of things. But I'm no housekeeper. Let's, let's be real clear on that.

Scott Benner 22:39
You said your husband, I'm gonna stay home with the kids of please have very low expectations.

Melissa 22:46
High end to how it's worked out. But

Scott Benner 22:48
to try to lock the doors at night and keep the place at a reasonable temperature. If I can do that. I think you call it

Melissa 22:53
lucky. I don't know what the deal is. But he likes me.

Scott Benner 22:58
Well, God bless. Okay, so is there any, um, any other autoimmune stuff in the family?

Melissa 23:07
So there's a strong history of type two, I mean, an insulin dependent, you know, that like grandma, but like, younger people being insulin dependent? Type twos? Oh, yeah. As far as I know, his biological grandmother on his father's side, like, she had major type two complications. And then he also had, I don't know a ton about this. I just know of it. On his biological father's side, there was a half sister, who unfortunately passed away from, I think type one complication. Like, I know, she was a type one diabetic. And I know she passed away very young. I think she was like, in her late 20s, early 30s. And I know she had type one, but they were not raised together like I we never knew. Or we didn't find out my husband was adopted until he was 35 years old.

Scott Benner 24:06
So wait, is the half sister from anybody? He's actually related to?

Melissa 24:11
Yes, because as it turns out, he was adopted by his paternal grandfather and his paternal grandfather's wife.

Scott Benner 24:21
Let's go now we're getting to it. Okay. Are you talking about we this is how does that? I don't understand. So

Melissa 24:29
apparently everybody knew but Him the way I found out he was Scott he. He was in Japan for six weeks. Our son was like, not even two years old. And he was overseas with Nissan. And I was picking up some hammy down little boy clothes from a cousin of his and the the ages are all over the place. Big family so she had a grandson who's the same, same you know? either of our son was coming into it. She was like, Oh yeah, I'd love to give these to you. And I'd stopped by in between my folks house and home. And I know what she was thinking. She's like I'm terminally nosy right, but I also understand boundaries. So sometimes the nosiness is so painful, right? But she had this opportunity where she could ask a nosy question without being hurtful to the person that was actually about right. So she was like, so is Brian, in touch with his biological parents? And I looked at her like, oh, shit, what? And like the color drained from her face. I mean, there are people who think what she did was malicious. She did not know we did not know about she had no idea. Interesting. I

Scott Benner 25:43
like a little family drama. That's nice. Okay, so he is related to somebody else who had type one diabetes, right.

Melissa 25:50
So his his adoptive father, his biological grandfather passed away. When he was seven. He was much older than his mom. And I'm going to call his adoptive parents, his mom and dad without any qualifiers. We're gonna put qualifiers on the bio. Does he

Scott Benner 26:05
know his actual parents? Well, he

Melissa 26:08
was raised to think that his biological father was his half brother. All right, now, but I'll tell you what, you want to hear my gripe when that when that dude passed away? Brian was not mentioned in the obituary, as a son or a brother. And I was like, why that night. I was salty about them.

Scott Benner 26:25
Love this little entry you guys have going on here. This is from Ohio intrigue.

Melissa 26:31
I guess like Ohio and Kentucky. There's like people that are still in Cleveland. There's people that are in Kentucky, various cities in Kentucky. And we actually we reconnected with one of his brothers. So I guess biologically his uncle, when my middle kiddo was very small. I was actually looking over his shoulder. He was surfing on Facebook, and was like, hey, you've got a message request over here. And it was his brother, who had been looking for him. Like, and I, Mike, I love you. And I get choked up my kids. So lovely. So accepting. So you know, when that stuff, the stuff about finding out your adopted was new, we actually didn't know who he like, who were his parents was he was our last name. Our last name was we didn't find out the part about Oh, you were adopted by your biological grandfather. We didn't find that out till a couple years later.

Scott Benner 27:29
Were you put in a position where you had to go home to your husband or he was in Japan? You had to in Japan? over Skype? It gets home, right? And you say he's

Melissa 27:40
taking a nap and you go, what I did though, what I did first I was like, Okay, how can I confirm this? Like, I'm not going to tell him some wild story, you know that I can't. So there's, of course, this was what? Well, 13 years ago. This

Scott Benner 27:57
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Melissa 29:21
you know, internet chat rooms were a thing and forums and stuff like that. So I went on to an adoptees forum and I was like, Oh, my God help me. What do I do? Do I need to have like a therapist waiting at the door? Do I need to like what do I need to do? keeping this secret? I'm not participating in any of the secrecy.

Scott Benner 29:39
Oh, no. I mean, I gotta tell him, right, right. What did the internet say?

Melissa 29:43
The internet says there's such a thing called Search angels. And we will put you in touch with one who can search the public records in Ohio and tell you what you can find out and they were like, yes, he's adopted. Because what they do is they match up the birth date. Like all the children born on this day But they kept his first and middle name the same. So that was helpful and then like, okay, none of these people have any other public records. So they were a baby and then their name change and then we have this going forward so you could get a birth name you know, I did what I could on the internet, you know, even face like people do not let down their Facebook's

Scott Benner 30:20
Facebook snooping people. I totally did.

Melissa 30:24
I totally did. You know, I

Scott Benner 30:26
know what I'm gonna call this episode. So, a couple of minutes ago, I thought I'm gonna call this episode Palace entry. But now I think I'm going to call it chicken coop entry.

Melissa 30:36
That's great. That's great.

Unknown Speaker 30:39
Um, write that down. I love it.

Melissa 30:40
We did not have a chicken coop at that time, we still lived in a neighborhood with sidewalks. This is

Scott Benner 30:45
my this is my way of being humorous. This is why I'm going with you is it's not a goddamn thing to do with diabetes. And I'm still very happy you told me about it. That's it. And so now you're picking your,

Melissa 30:55
for me it is wrapped up in the diabetes. The family history is all from his side. And like, I mean, when I'm in the hospital, it's all I can think about is like, oh my god, she died.

Speaker 1 31:11
Oh, I'll see you. Because you went through like all this set at the time. Yeah. So you're in the hospital with your kid. You're like, this is what killed somebody else in the family? Correct? Oh, my gosh, well, that's upsetting.

Melissa 31:25
One and I kept because they're like, Does anybody else have it in the family? I was like, Well, my husband's half sister, but she died. And I was like, Oh, my God. Did

Scott Benner 31:33
you say, Listen, my husband's deceased? Father's father adopted my husband. I think that his grand weights thought or I'm not sure but some

Melissa 31:49
to try to explain his family. So confusing. Oh, my God. And the thing is like he didn't know from birth, this was just you know, people made, quote unquote, jokes to him about finding him in a Cabbage Patch. Apparently they weren't jokes. Oh my god. I know. Peyton

Scott Benner 32:08
was this I hate to ask, but his father had like drug issues. I

Melissa 32:11
honestly don't know. I could not speculate.

Scott Benner 32:16
How old was he? When he passed away?

Melissa 32:17
I think he was in his 50s or 60s. Oh, wait. His

Scott Benner 32:22
father was How old was your husband when he was adopted? His

Melissa 32:26
his adopted father. He was 54. And then his bio father died just died in the last five or 10 years?

Scott Benner 32:35
What At what age? Did his grandfather adopt him? What age for your

Melissa 32:39
husband? Honestly, it depends on who you ask. And, you know, and everybody involved is getting up there in age. So I

Scott Benner 32:53
mean, I'm I'm this close to singing the song of the Beverly Hillbillies. So I don't know what to say right now. Wasn't

Melissa 32:59
really like that. Now we have had contact with his bio mother.

Scott Benner 33:03
Okay. Does he did he ever know her? He knew the Father. He knew the bio father as a brother. But did he know the bio mother?

Melissa 33:11
Yes, she was a friend of the family. And we have like photos of the bio mother and his older half sister from his mom, like at birthday parties. Listen,

Scott Benner 33:21
here's what I'm gonna say to everybody. birthday party. This is what I'm gonna say to everybody listening. When you find yourself lying. Stop yourself, because this is where it goes.

Melissa 33:30
30 years later. A real nobody's that slick. Nobody's

Scott Benner 33:33
that's like, exactly. You're not that slick. I used to tell my mom that my mom would like, you know, try to like, trick me into doing something. I'm like, Mom, do you feel like you're tricking me into this right now? It's like, that's not happening if you think it is, but But when did she think it was she thought she was so smart. And she was you know, like, writing this story. And everybody was buying into it. I'm like, Mom, no one believes that. Like, and people do it all the time. Just tell the truth. I mean, honestly, what truth could have been worse than what you just explained?

Melissa 34:01
Series? Yeah, I mean, nothing. And it feels like there's a really socially acceptable story for adoption. We chose you You are wanted and loved. It feels good. Like, why would why would people hide that? And yeah, I think there's probably some fear from his mother that he wouldn't love her anymore. I don't know why she would think that. And he wouldn't let me ask her about it for years.

Scott Benner 34:28
Yeah, I'm just sure you're outsmarting yourself and nobody else and it just it's gonna go poorly. If they if you get all those people together and ask them do you wish at this time, doesn't matter what the story was, like, let's just it doesn't matter. Let's say the father was in jail and the mom was on heroin. Okay, and so the grandfather had to step in and do something. I think it's better to just know that. You know what I mean? Like, whatever the truth is, I think it's better to just know the truth and live with it than it is to make up all these stories that no way are going to Like, you're not going to keep this story forever. This is why in every movie when three guys rob a bank, one of them kills the other two. Because Because you look at the group and you go, they're gonna crack. Like that's it like nobody. You know, like you said, somebody told you one day and you think, okay, they weren't being malicious, but other people think they were being but who doesn't matter if they were they weren't? It came out eventually. So I don't know like it to me this whole story tells me just be honest. That's Yes.

Melissa 35:30
Well, then, I mean, and with the advent of 23andme, 23andme is not keeping y'all secret. I did it as part of fertility study, years and years ago, we had a hard time having our youngest. And then I got it, you know, didn't want those half price deals for my husband to have it. And then, a few years ago, he popped up this first cousin match that made the euro cent. No, nine, zero, zilch. And, you know, she got in contact with us. She got in contact with him. And first then I took over because I mean, nosey Hello. With his permission, he was like, Oh, do you want to handle this? And I was like, Absolutely.

Scott Benner 36:08
I would love to get involved with this. Well, listen,

Melissa 36:13
listen, she was like, list doesn't make any sense at all. And I was like, I know. I was like, Well, my husband's adopted. So but we're, we're quite sure who's who, like we have, you know, his mom helped me clear some things up. And then we've been in contact with his bio mom and some other family members, stuff like that, like it all matched. And she's like, well, maybe you've got something wrong. And I was like, I don't think so. And it did come out eventually. That who she was told her bio father was not her bio father. And it was somebody on my husband, bio mother's side. And that was like a whole like, 23 and me not keeping your secrets, what

Scott Benner 36:51
you people do? And I don't just mean your family. I mean, everybody listening, what has happened?

Melissa 36:55
Like we, we you look at people and you think, oh, everybody's normal and average, right? I mean, and this is a recurring theme on the podcast in general, too, right? People are interesting, even like a normal, boring, ordinary life

Scott Benner 37:11
does how to dig far.

Melissa 37:15
twists and turns and stuff like that happens all the time. And she's lovely, like, Thank you, 23. And me for putting us in contact. Yeah. Listen,

Scott Benner 37:22
I'm adopted. And I've done 23andme and gotten nothing out of it. Like it's not a guy, I thought like one person would pop up. And I'd be like, Oh, my God, this is great. I guess somebody's nothing. You know, years ago, Kelly made me contact an attorney. And I got contact with my biological mother's sister. And after an hour and a half on the phone, I hung up and I said to Kelly's, like, How'd it go? And I'm like, I am never contacting those people again. Because the same thing, it's just like, the stories you like, go, you know, if your uncle this calls, don't listen, he's gonna want money. And I'm like, Oh, hello. And this happened here. And this. And I'm like, I'm trying to ask these questions just to get enough answers for myself. I get a little bit of, you know, a little bit of answers for some things that I cared about. And then I never, ever, I so I'm disconnected from that idea that if you asked me, my mother, my biological mother's name, I'd have to search for it for a second my head. Like, that's how far I pushed it out on myself. Because I was like, these are not people I want to be involved in. I think that's sort of the lesson, which is you tolerate the family you have, right, like, we're all related to somebody who's a lunatic, and we're all related to somebody who's not. And everywhere in between. There's lovely people in my family. And there's crazy people in my family. And I grew up around them. So they don't seem crazy to me. Like I know they are intellectually, but I can make allowances for them in my head. You bring another person into my life, who is whacked out of their skull or making bad decisions. And I don't have any personal connection to them. I'm done. Like, I don't want to be involved with that. So like, it's all very, I don't know, I don't care what somebody else did with their 52 years ago. That doesn't make me related to you. Like, I don't care that there's a bloodline there. It's meaningless. I'm related to my, you know, my biological mother and father, they're my parents. I have two brothers who I'm not biologically related to at all who I would step out in front of a truck for and you know, and I don't, I really don't want to know about the rest. I really don't care. Because I think that this is all that's gonna happen. I believe everybody who's adopted just thinks like, oh my god, you know, my mom was obviously like a supermodel and she had to go to a photo shoot in France and so she couldn't take me with her. And so I got put up for adoption. She's probably the Princess of Monaco now, but no, your parents are this. This is what you got away from. I I hate to say that, but I really believe it's true. So good luck for you. I feel lucky that I'm adopted. When I heard when I talked to those people, I talked to those people. And I was like, Thank God, they gave me away. Anyway, this thing's adopted, though. I love this. It's very,

Melissa 40:16
very interesting.

Scott Benner 40:18
Yeah. Because you're you know why it's interesting is because you're raising three kids. And you have like a nice nucleolus and a little family, you're growing, your husband works, you're taking care of the stuff that you're taking care of. And you don't, I'm assuming you don't have children with somebody else he doesn't know about, I'm assuming your husband hasn't made 16 Babies somewhere else that you're not aware of like, you're just just being, well, you're just being a normal person. Like, just be normal. For God's sakes. Is it that hard? Is it all sex?

Melissa 40:46
Apparently it is?

Scott Benner 40:48
I mean, how hard can it be to just like, life is so short, and it's tiring to begin with? Find one person will have sexy, that one that's good, get a house? Buy some food and drop dead? Like, what are you doing?

Melissa 41:05
I can get there because I am super content with my little life. I like it. I don't think I'm important. I'm important enough to my kids and my husband like that. That's enough for most, I

Lija Greenseid 41:18
don't think you have a little life at all. I think you have a lovely life. And your kids will go off and make their own life. Like what is it people expect is gonna happen? Do you really mean? Like, what are you trying?

Melissa 41:28
It's like a thing, you know, where everybody's trying to become? Like, the goal is to become famous to be no.

Scott Benner 41:34
So you know, like, so in a small town existence where you're not on television or have fame somewhere or professional sport. You can be the person who has all these stories about them. And people everybody knows about me. Do you think that might be it? Like they're just looking for connection with people? I don't know. Maybe it doesn't matter if it's good connection? I don't know. I don't think you have a little life. I think you have a lovely life. And I think that I do too. I get up. Right? I say good morning to my wife. I try to catch a look at her before she gets her brown. That's fun for me. And then I grab some eggs. And then I make a podcast. And then I talk to my kids and I help them with stuff. I do the laundry i the other day. Well, I had a gutter break. I went out bought a piece for gutter. What is it? I should be doing? Like I should be impregnating six women. Like you don't I mean, like creating chaos in people's lives. Like I don't, I don't understand. I really

Melissa 42:25
are just lucky to have gotten through our, you know, teens and early 20s. Without making big mistakes. You think it's luck? Some of it? Some, it's good decisions, but some of it's just there. But for the grace of God go I you know,

Scott Benner 42:42
I think if I told you what I think it is, people wouldn't like me.

Melissa 42:47
I tell my husband that all the time. I'm like, You think I'm a nice person? That's because I just don't say what I'm thinking. No, I

Scott Benner 42:52
think it's the 20 IQ points. Some people are missing. That's what I think it is. Seriously, because you call it a good decision. But what what's the root of a good why do I sound angry? I'm not angry, I'm just talking about the root of a good decision is being able to think through something. That's all

Melissa 43:07
like, didn't you mean like, wait and delay that impulse? Like not kill someone?

Speaker 1 43:12
What's that saying? Those who know don't say? And those who say don't know, right? Like, you got to know when to keep your mouth shut. Like you have to know what's important to articulate, and what's not. These are impulses that people have. And I don't know, I'm sorry, go off the rails completely. But

Melissa 43:33
like, Well, I knew I knew the family stuff was gonna take us off the rails a little bit. But it is it's, it's part of our story, because it involves how the type two came about how the type one came about, like, and it's, you know, I'm glad we got reconnected with his father's side of the family because I wouldn't know about some of this stuff otherwise, like, Mike has made things a lot easier for us by helping us know these things.

Scott Benner 43:59
My best advice to anyone, if things are always going wrong for you. You don't know what you're doing. I know you're blaming everything else. But it's, it's probably you. And I don't mean that like it's like you're,

Melissa 44:14
it's at least worth considering.

Speaker 1 44:18
Consider for a second that the first thing that pops into your head might not be the best idea. Go look at other people who are having successes and say, how did they handle this situation? Oh, it's funny. I thought this and they did something completely different. I wonder what would have happened if I did that. If you have trouble eating? Here's one for you. I swear will work. If you're overweight, and you don't know why go to the grocery store and follow fit people around. Just go to the aisles they go to notice that they don't go into the aisles you go to notice that they're picking up something different than what you would pick up by the food they're buying. Eat that that's how they got there. Life's not some unknowable thing, if you're constantly having money troubles, and your brother doesn't have money troubles, call your brother up and say, I have money trouble all the time. But you don't? Can you tell me what you do? I'm going to tell you what I do. And you could maybe make some suggestions to me because I like, why would you just, it's always I don't know what happened, or somebody else screwed me or like, just I don't know, shame

Melissa 45:24
is very powerful and avoiding it is a powerful motivator, I think, screw

Scott Benner 45:30
all that. I want people to have a happy life. And I hate to say it, sometimes you're not the right person to decide like, and that's fine. There's no shame. I don't think there's any shame in that. Like, there are so many things I don't understand. So many things I don't know the first thing about, and if they are something I need to be involved in, I go find somebody else that understands it. That's it. Like I do not run around pretending that I know how to do something I don't know how to do. It would be stupid. I'm going to make mistakes. I'm going to screw it up. I'm going to put us in a deficit. I'm going to cost us money. I'm going to, you know, I'm going to waste time. I know it's not something people think about. But all of you don't know what the hell you're talking about. I don't know what I'm talking about. Sometimes. I'm good at this thing. Like, do you mean like I have some things I'm good at? I have some things I look at my wife and I go help me. I don't know what to do. I'm dumb. Like, I you know, like, it's, I don't know, there's no harm in it. Mostly, it made me very upset. I don't even know why. How's the kid? How's the diabetes is orange.

Melissa 46:30
You know, you mentioned us in episode, it was like 922, one of the myths. Oh, real. Minute 17. You said this lady's putting in a massive amount of effort. And I was like, Thank you for staying because Part A one C has been 5.4 to 4.9 for the last year plus, wow, we use we use Control IQ. You sleep mode around the clock. You know, Christina Korea's advice has been really helpful for us. As far as like how to gain that. So it can let us ever be below 110 puberty. And you know, the advent of periods have been kicking my butt. So that's why we went because we we held for point like 5.1 4.9 we held that for a long time.

Scott Benner 47:18
This is a pretty low carb lifestyle, too. Right? lower carb,

Melissa 47:22
you know, low Earth, lower, but sometimes we go nuts. And you know, she's always been my fruit that like literally since she could have food that wasn't boob. She's always been my fruit back. So I don't like to not let her have fruit. So that is something you know, I have read Bernstein. I like it. I get where he's coming from. But I'm not going to count my kids salad. And I'm not going to say she can't have fruit. I'm not counting out for berries. I'm just not I'm not going to forbear. Honestly. That's why I like you so much. I could be a fence straggler in the Juicebox Podcast Facebook group. And maybe I get criticized but I don't get a lot of because it's not really tolerated. And everybody's encouraged to do what works for you. So we straddle that fence, like we're we're in both sides we're in, you know, where's that aim small Miss small, like small dose and have you use the insulin that you need? Or what you're going to eat? Like, I don't care how you eat, just learn how to dose insulin. So that's kind of where we are. I will say puberty is kicking my butt. And they have these these first cycles where, like, I know how the female hormones in general affect things. But since cycles are not regular yet, I don't know when that's gonna happen. You know what I mean? Like, okay, so we're super insulin sensitive, like, right after the period starts and maybe some really great sensitivity, like right at mid cycle. And we do well like, oh, we'll have more carbs stay because it'll be easier. Yeah. And then, you know, toward like, right, like, right before like PMS time, major insulin resistance, you know, and we've always heard Basal to Bolus ratio has always been more like 7030 the 5050 stuff I read in books like I read pumping insolence, a great book I read, think like a pancreas, but I found your podcast like, weeks, 123 weeks in. And so I really feel like the podcast spoke to me because I knew I was responsible for it. And I wanted to direct it if I'm responsible for it. If I'm accountable for it, I have to have control over it. So when the doctor like I'm saying, I'm calling into the doctor asking for new pump settings, we got a pump like we had a Dexcom I'm sorry, I'm jumping around. We got a Dexcom a week she was discharged on a Monday we had on Friday. The our first endocrinology since left to make a concierge practice and we don't have that kind of money. So whatever takes insurance, that's where we're going. In our in our city. It's one practice now so We're with them now. But the first one she was like, get that technology, get it, get it, get it. And we have a high deductible plan. She was diagnosed you know, in a pick you stay in October. And I said to them, I think we know we want to pump. This is what she's decided she wanted. We need to get it before the end of the year before the deductible right?

May love you took up for us. She even said to me, this is how vain I am. Right. So I remember she said to me when I was saying okay, so this is what I saw on these the adjustments I made to her MDI, insulin, she was like, this is the kind of critical thinking we're looking for. And I'm like, ooh, ooh, I'll take those aspects all day long. Because, you know, it can sometimes be a little thankless caring for children in general. And, you know, MDI was,

Scott Benner 50:54
that was harder, nice to hear somebody say, I'm doing a good job.

Melissa 50:56
I do love a pump. I do love a pump of those algorithms. I wish everybody could have them. So you

Scott Benner 51:02
brought a lot of stuff up here. I think that it's worth talking about, that most people listening, don't know that online. There's, you know, small wars that go on over, you know, between low carb and people who eat carbs and type ones, right, like, and it's not everybody, it's a small faction of people who are very specific about their eating styles. And if you try to get involved with them, and and then you say, Oh, I'm gonna add fruit to this, there'll be like you are, you know, a bastard. Like your kid. Yeah, yeah. But I want to say something that I've learned recently. This is gonna sound disconnected for a second. I have for my entire life. wanted a chameleon. I know that's a weird thing. I'm an older person. And we were having a conversation around the house recently. or somebody's like, what is the thing you don't do that you could do? And I said, I could have a chameleon. And people I know, they looked at me weird. I'm like, my whole life. I thought, I'd like to have a chameleon. But I've never done it because they're not easy pets to take care of. There's responsibility, a lot of responsibility. I feel very responsible for living things. I don't sometimes I don't enjoy that. Like that feeling of, it feels like I that thing now comes before I do, like, I that's how I deal with things like my kids come before me. My wife comes before me. If I get a chameleon, I'm gonna actually it's gonna come before me. But I thought I could do this. Right. And I saw I said it out loud when we were talking about this thing. And my kids go out and get me a chameleon for Christmas. Like they buy the habitat, learn all about it, set it up, go find one, get it like this whole thing. And as soon as I see it, I have this feeling of dread. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, I don't want to be, I don't want this. Like, I don't want the responsibility that comes to this. But because they did it. I smiled. And I was like, thank you. This is really wonderful. Thank you so much for making your dream come true as far as they're concerned, exactly. And so now I'm teaching myself all about it right. And I listened, I'm lucky I have a little bit of time, I could do some reading, while I'm editing and stuff like that, I figure some stuff out. I know what I need to do to take care of this thing so that it's healthy, and you know, etc. But at one point, I go into a Facebook group about chameleons. And I'm struck immediately with the juxtaposition between some of the people in the chameleon group and low carb people in type one diabetes online. And it's really interesting. And then I realized, it's not diabetes. It's not chameleons. It's not anything, it's people. Some people believe they have the end all be all answer. There is only one way, there is only one way. And if you don't do these things, you are the devil. Like immediately, and not just You're the devil, and you're gonna kill that chameleon. But you're gonna say you did this thing out loud. And other people are gonna kill their chameleons, too, because you have spread bad information. And then I was like, oh my god, this is the same thing about COVID. I was like, this is just people. This is not a COVID argument. It's not a chameleon argument. It's not a low carb diet argument. It's just how people's brains work. Some people grab on to something so firmly, and they say to themselves, my way the highway. And now because of the advent of the internet, they are able to make passionate pleas to you, but they never come off as pleased. They always come off as telling. Like, you have to do this and you have to do that. And if you don't use the enclosure that you're supposed to use, the chameleon is gonna die. And I'm like, and then you go to another person that says, hey, you know what, it turns out if humidity in your house is one way well, this kind of enclosure would work for you and if humidity in your house or where you live is another way this one might be more appropriate. But I go Back to the first person that like, no, it absolutely has to be this one. If you don't do this one, you're a monster. And I think that's how I see some people talk to people about low carb in diabetes, but it's not everybody. Their voices are so loud. And they're so I don't know what the word is vicious very sure. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, very positive. And sure. And I've thought about it in the past. And I was like, you know, specifically around low carb and type one. And I thought, they just feel like they found an answer to something and they want you to be okay, the way they're okay. Now, because let's know what you're saying here. Kids, they want to ease between like, what four, nine and five, four. Amazing, you know, but that doesn't mean it's the only way to do it. And, you know, it's not because they're bad people. It's not because they're anything, it's because they're, they're trying to help. They're really trying to help them they feel passionate about

Melissa 55:56
it, I feel lucky that I can take it for I can take ideas from everywhere and just do what I want to do.

Scott Benner 56:02
Well, that's what I ended up doing with this. That's why I brought this, I was gonna say this to the community, that's my brother chameleon up because I looked, what I did was I first I looked, and I saw the people yelling, and I disregarded them, like, Okay, I'm not gonna listen to the yelling people. And then I listened to everybody else. And I paid attention to what they were saying, I applied it, you know, to real implications in my life, and my home. And what I'm gonna do here, and I'm like, I know, these are, these seem like healthy ways to deal with the situation. And as I'm having that experience, I think to myself, This is how I set up my Facebook group for diabetes. And that's why it works so well for you. Or for somebody who's gonna, you know, like, literally not eat low carb, you take the bits that work in your situation, and you apply them and you have a nice outcome. That's all you're looking for.

Melissa 56:55
The other thing that I think that the faith the juicebox group gives is a place to belong, even if you don't belong in any other, like, smaller slot. Yeah, there's a lot of room for people to belong there.

Scott Benner 57:07
Oh, it's a big tent idea for sure. Like, I want everyone to be there. I don't care if you have type one, if you have gestational, if you're the parent, I have grandparents in their school nurses that have no connection to diabetes. Other than that, there's a kid that comes in their office that has type one, parents and adults, there's 70 year old people in there, there's 20 year old people in there, and they all talk to each other just fine. It just turns out that, you know, being led by common sense, is really the is really the key to success, I think. And I think that's the one thing that I have is common sense. So, you know, it's, it's the way I run the thing. And basically don't even do anything. I mean, secret time. You know what I mean? Like there's not a lot to do. You set up the expectation. And then the people follow the expectation. Like you don't I mean, like and like you said, I don't like if somebody starts yelling at somebody or acting crazy, I take care of that right away. I'm like, we're not doing that. Like I want you here. I want you to be able to benefit from this. But if you're a crazy person, you gotta go.

Melissa 58:13
That's that no pain in the pool.

Scott Benner 58:15
There's no, exactly right? I treat those people in the Facebook group the same way I treated my extended family when I found out where my adopted family is like, no, no, no, thank you. You go ahead and go. You tell me someone's going to ask me for money. I'm done. I was like, Okay, I'm not doing that. You know, they start telling you some crazy stories. And I'm like, That is not a story I want to be around. And that's not that doesn't bring harmony to my life. And so that's what I want for that Facebook group is harmony. And it obviously works. Because it grows so fast. It's just fascinating how quickly it adds people 150 every four days.

Melissa 58:55
It's really solid. I mean, yeah, they're still like diagnoses are still happening. Gonna keep coming.

Scott Benner 59:02
Have you ever seen craziness? And thought, oh, Scott's gonna come take care of this, right? No,

Melissa 59:08
like, most of the time I missed it. By the time I get there. Somebody's referencing the craziness that's already been taken care of. Like, oh, man, it

Scott Benner 59:17
gets taken care of very, very quickly. Yeah, I'm not I'm not screwing around with that. So anyway, control IQ aggressively with over and you're always using sleep mode with it. Dexcom G seven,

Melissa 59:29
six. No GS six so far. You know, I'm sitting in a parking lot right now because the Wi Fi neither the Wi Fi nor the cell signal in my house will support a reliable like zoom call. So I'm afraid to try and do the update for G seven and I love that it's backwards compatible and you could apparently you can use libre now to

Scott Benner 59:53
Oh, I saw that yesterday. Yeah.

Melissa 59:57
And but you know what? I'm dying them to partner with tidal like I know that Omni pod said they weren't going to do it. So I'm like who's left? Who's going to do tide pool? I want tandem to get a lower target through the FDA of typo could do 87 Do it, do it. That's

Scott Benner 1:00:15
an interesting problem. I don't know that many people know what you're talking about. But tide pool Oh,

Melissa 1:00:20
see, I'm, I'm there because I, I like control IQ. I would love it. If I could set my target 9590 Even I could, that would be so great. Because a lot of the time I'm fighting the algorithm and I think who on them are just continuing Basal IQ? Like, does that mean? Like, does that mean? Like the pump isn't going to be for people under six anymore? Because they don't that control IQs out approved you

Scott Benner 1:00:48
just right off label. That's what they'll do. The doctor will write for it off label, I'm gonna tell you that I don't expect that that thing will ever happen. I was

Melissa 1:00:58
thinking maybe after the g7 integration that

Scott Benner 1:01:01
I just it doesn't seem like from a business perspective. It doesn't seem like an idea that people would do like that. There's just an algorithm out there. And you can use it on our pump. If you want to

Melissa 1:01:12
know why doesn't it doesn't seem like a good way to keep your market share and keep your this and keep your that it's also

Scott Benner 1:01:18
another thing you can explain to people like like every most people, they don't want to know about this. They want to go to the doctor and be like, hey, Pump. Pump me. When the pump comes, they go, Hey, don't use it. Use it like this. Great. Goodbye. That's it. They don't want to know. They don't want to know, me

Melissa 1:01:38
like I had my babies at home because I'm a control freak. Right? Like, yeah, I

Scott Benner 1:01:42
need to feed your chickens. I

Melissa 1:01:44
want to be in control of it. Yeah. Why can't I pick my number? Let me pick my number. You know, I can do it. Like I said I did for 4.9 with, darn it. There's a train coming. I'm sorry. Don't

Scott Benner 1:01:56
worry, let the train happen. It'd be very authentic. This sounds like the Tennessee two to Chattanooga. Oh, that. I'm gonna tell you something right now. Chattanooga, I don't care if we can hear that train. This is going to be Chattanooga Choo Choo. But if we can't hear the train, you're stuck with chicken coop? Entry? Yeah.

Melissa 1:02:23
Well, that's the problem. I bought a microphone that said, Oh, they can't hear me on my Zoom calls when my wife is bumbling through the house. So too bad

Scott Benner 1:02:30
chicken coop intrigue it is. But I just don't think that companies really want to be involved in that.

Melissa 1:02:37
And there's probably a I'm probably part of a small enough subset, like Basal IQ people. They don't, they don't care. It's not a big enough group for them to worry about. I mean, I don't know. And that's what I have to keep remembering about diabetes. Like not everybody is like the Juicebox Podcast group where everybody shooting for five and a half. Yeah, nobody is. It's it's, it seems like everybody because that's the only place I really hang out diabetes wise. And then I go out, it's kind of like parenting stuff. You know, I go out into random like, oh, oh, okay. Not everybody. A hippie, like, okay for God, but had been insulated enough?

Scott Benner 1:03:16
Yeah, no, listen, most people are not doing that. Like most people are just trying to get by, like you don't I mean, like, that's why I'm proud of building it up. Because it means you're bringing in more and more people, those people go back to doctors, they tell doctors, I listen to a podcast. And guess what, here's my one, say it's 5.3. It's six, it's, you know, I don't work that hard. And it's six or I work a little harder, it's five and a half or whatever. And then eventually, doctors should be able to get it their heads like, oh, there might be ways to do this that aren't as difficult as I thought they were. And, you know, maybe that spreads. But the truth of it is, is that for most people, they're going to have middling a one sees middling success, there are going to be a lot of people who have complications, like that's not new, you know. So I think from a technology standpoint, companies are thinking, if that's who we're helping, then let's try to get this stuff in a place where it's plug and play, and you put it on them, it's going to keep their a one C lower is going to keep their stability, you know, lower, and they're gonna have a better chance to good outcome. Like you're thinking about it, like, I can learn this, I can do this, I can change my reality. Whereas I don't think a lot of people think that way. I think a lot of people think oh, a thing happened to me. And now I have to like use this device. And what's going to happen is gonna happen.

Melissa 1:04:41
Now our first endo told us when I was asking, I was like, we're having trouble with Hi, can you help me adjust? And they gave me a they gave me pump settings that reduced her insulin delivery when you needed more insulin. And I said, What about the highs I'm experienced? We're not experiencing lows. We're experiencing high eyes. And the CD told me, Dr. So and so will not give pump settings that increase insulin delivery unless and until her average glucose is above 200. Yeah, well, that's a problem. That was where I got angry. And it wasn't. It wasn't the CDs fault, but I was like, then clearly we have different goals. Yeah, for my daughter's help.

Scott Benner 1:05:23
Yeah, that's insane. So your doctor wouldn't give you orders to increase insulin until average blood sugar was 200.

Melissa 1:05:32
Yes. And so I was like, Okay, I'll do it myself. And I had the podcast that point. So I could, like I had read things like a pancreas. I had read pumping insulin, I had these tips and like, here's what, here's the variables I'm working with. Here's, you know, the things that could affect it. Here's, you know, not saying we never have to catch lows we do. I mean, I'm not perfect. But we're very, just always trying to keep it under 2%. I don't like loves to go over 2%. I know. 4% is like the ADA standard. But that's not what we're shooting for. I

Scott Benner 1:06:04
mean, I don't care about the ADA standard. I care about what your standard is. Just do what you can do. You

Melissa 1:06:09
know, I feel like mine is reasonable. And I think that's where I was butting heads with the Endo. Like, just support what I want. Because I can tell you why it's good.

Scott Benner 1:06:20
Yeah, that's not gonna happen. With some doctors, it's not gonna happen with some doctors, it will, you'll get you'll get ones that understand it on a bigger scale, and you'll get ones that don't. That's the thing that people I want people to understand. Is it a doctor that's willing to manage it with a 200 blood sugar is saying extensively, I will trade problems down the road for not being low right now.

Melissa 1:06:45
Is that common among pediatric endocrinologist because they don't see the complications? Like it's, it's not their problem,

Scott Benner 1:06:53
it's common with everybody. Because they just they don't, I mean, doesn't exist, I'm turning around to get to another computer. So they don't have the thing I have. And that thing is access to you. I don't have a pressure of having to say everything. Today. I can say something in one episode and something in another episode and a third thing and a fourth thing, and you can take six months to listen to those and listen to them and make sense of them and coalesce it together. And I used to work cold last time twice. And take your time and build a narrative for yourself. The doctors don't have that. I couldn't tell you everything you needed to know in 15 minutes, four times a year. It's unfair. And so maybe they've decided it just won't work. And so we'll shoot for you know this because the ADA says it's okay. And if the ADA says it Okay, then I'm not doing anything wrong. I don't have to feel bad about this. You don't I mean, like, who knows? I'm not in their heads, I can tell you that an average 200 blood sugar isn't a one C of 8.6. It she

Melissa 1:07:57
actually argued with me, she said kids who have an A one see under seven are having significant hypo episodes. And I was like, here's the Dexcom data, show me the hypose. And she was complaining when we were a 6.1.

Scott Benner 1:08:11
By the way, a seven a one season average blood sugar of 154. Yeah, or 8.6. If you're in Canada and other places, and see,

Melissa 1:08:20
that's one thing I really like about the strident low carb people is they're like, this a one C is not good for you. We're not really we're not really hearing that from many other places.

Scott Benner 1:08:33
No, I completely agree with them. Yeah, on that, on that topic. I don't agree with yelling at people. That's, and I also think that this is very manageable, down on the farm. But if your daughter goes off to Ohio State one day and has to eat in the cafeteria, she might not know how to Bolus for that if you don't teach her how insulin works. And then you're gonna put all this effort into this 4.95 to a one sees her first 18 years of her life. And then what happens to her when that food doesn't exist anymore. And she doesn't know how insulin works because she's been so low carb that she's using, you know, I don't know, regular an MP regular wood, a low carb, some low carb people still use like regular insulin right to like, like for their protein rises, which is cool. If you know how to do that. It's amazing. And if you're an adult living in a house, you have control over your food, go for it. That's cool. I think it's cool. But like, you know, off in the world, 21 years old, 18 years old. Good luck. You know what I mean? Like so like my point is know how insulin works, be able to use it, and then apply it to the lifestyle you have. That's all

Melissa 1:09:45
yes. And that's why I call us Ben stragglers because we eat fries. We we leave taco shells. We have a brand of taco shells that are really at a dose where

Scott Benner 1:09:55
I'm sure you can figure a lot of stuff out I would imagine like I'm not I'm not against people eating low. card at all. I'm not certain that it's doable for everybody. And you can't just tell people it's doable, and then send them out into the world. You're not there anymore. You know, you and your little in your Facebook avatar gone. That kids at college, I don't know what they're gonna do. And you know, I've heard people say, Well, you can meal prep, and you can do that. And like, yeah, I see your fancy lady in your kitchen with your $95,000 worth of like cabinets and countertops telling me how easy it is to meal prep. Your kitchen costs more than some people's homes. And you know, like, you're telling me how easy it is. I'm not saying anybody specifically, I've seen a lot of these. I've seen a lot of these ladies on the internet. All you have to do is you just set it by the way you spend your life in the kitchen. Yeah, right. So all you have to do all you have to do. I'm at Walmart trying to make a living. I don't have this. Like it strikes me like when I'm famous people tell me that all I have to do is work out three hours a day.

Melissa 1:10:56
So simple, Melissa,

Scott Benner 1:10:58
I get up in the morning, I go for a walk, then I cold plunge. And then I like to get into the sauna. And then I have a nice breakfast of meats and cheeses that I've made myself. And then I'm like, where do you think my time and money comes from? I don't have a contract with like Warner Brothers. Like like they're not paying me to be in a movie once a year. I can't do the things you're doing. I love it when famous people do that. Like all you have to do all you have to do shut the fuck up. Like I don't have your money. I don't have your time. I don't have your access.

Melissa 1:11:32
It's so simple, though. It's just a matter of prioritize.

Scott Benner 1:11:36
You don't know cold shock proteins, Melissa? Cold shock proteins. You need them? They're gonna save your life. Yeah. Would you like to live forever? Getting some cold water?

Melissa 1:11:48
Oh, thank you. So all

Scott Benner 1:11:50
I'm saying around diabetes is that people need practical advice. You're not saying anything wrong, that other person, your variables aren't the same as theirs. You know, like, you know, today I did this, I look at the plate. I'm like, This lady's grocery bill must be $1,000 every two weeks. She's like, Oh, all I have to do. It's just have you ever done this? No, I haven't. Because I'm at work. Because my grandfather is my dad, like I got going on, like, so like, I want those people to be able to use insulin to and it bears out. I see it bear out online all the time. You know, you take again, like we talked about earlier, you pick and choose from the podcast, the things that work for your life. And people are really able to keep low stable a one sees that are going to lead to good health. And, you know, their ability to actually navigate the world that they live in. So anyway, I'm not against anybody's i Whatever works for you, I think is terrific. I'm very clear about that. How do

Melissa 1:12:50
we get the NGOs to stop giving us a hard time for wanting an agency under six? I mean, smiling, not giving a is definitely you know, like option number one, but they stop hassling us. No,

Scott Benner 1:13:02
they're not gonna stop hassling us because they're just doing the thing they're supposed to. They're the lady with the thermometer or the guy with a thermometer at the emergency room. Okay, somebody paid me to be here with this thermometer, open your mouth. Like that's it. Like I'm the doctor. This is what my practice does. I am now going to say the thing do we say? So, you know, it's up to you to be able to do the I always call it like the Madagascar penguins from that movie. You get a smile and wave. Just when they're like, You know what their problem is? You go Uh huh, uh huh. Yeah, okay. Yeah, no problem.

Melissa 1:13:33
Right. My prescription, please.

Scott Benner 1:13:34
Yeah. Oh, don't worry, I'll turn it down. Thanks. Bye, bye. You know, either just get the heck out of there with your prescription and keep going. I feel like I'm

Melissa 1:13:43
gonna set my daughter up to not care as much what they think when she's on her own. But it's sometimes it feels like judgment when you're the parent and a pediatric endo office. That's not just your health, it's your kids health. If you're not doing it, right, then

Scott Benner 1:14:00
I don't know how to pass that part of my of myself on to people either tell you like I don't I don't give a what other people think about what I'm doing. So yeah, that's pretty much it. Like I am happy to listen to outside, you know, ideas all the time. And I integrate things people say to me constantly, but if if you're wrong, you're wrong. And so I mean, I'm not going to give it any weight at that point. A person who would tell you hey, your kids a one C is 5.8. It's too low. I'm going to I'm gonna take away some of their basil. Like II talking about, like, No 2% lows. Are you kidding me? Is that what you have?

Melissa 1:14:39
Yeah, we keep it less than 2%. A lot of times it's less than 2%. No one should be telling you anything. Yeah, you know what the last endocrinologist appointment we went to they apparently they only look back two weeks when they check our Dexcom data. And I was telling about something that had happened so mom of the year. My husband was on the road For work, and I had not slept in two days, because various things that had happened, diabetes and Babywise, she had turned control IQ off, which we sometimes have to do for dinner because it's always taking away basil. It's a specific problem that I can't get tandem to help me with. Her basil gets stuck at three, even though she needs more, which is a whole other thing. But we had turned control IQ off and then forgot to turn it back on. And she was low at night, and I slept with the alarms. And she slept through the alarms. And her dad is several states away getting urgent, and he had to send the police, he could not get anybody on the phone, right. And he had to send the police to wake us up. And I said that I of course brought that up thinking I was gonna get help at the endocrinologist office. And they basically documented it like they were gonna document to turn me into CPS. Yeah, nothing about anything else we talked about is like you are treating with insulin for normal glucose levels. And you need to not do that, and blah, blah. It was it was very upsetting to read those notes. And they wouldn't have known about it if I hadn't called if I hadn't brought it up and asked for help. Like if the algorithm like were bolusing for these corrections, and it in turn takes away more and more and more and more basil because it's perfectly happy to let her sit at 200. So now I now I just have an alarm to turn control IQ on every night at midnight. Melissa,

Scott Benner 1:16:29
I want you to imagine what would have happened if you went into a doctor's office and told people who had 15 More points of IQ, that same story. And then said I just need help with this one problem. The dumb they don't know. They don't know how to think the hero thing and they go scared run. Some people have trouble thinking. I don't know what to say. It just was.

Melissa 1:16:53
It was horrible. I asked for help. And instead they documented it like I had done something criminal. Yeah. I'm telling you. I felt very defeated by that.

Scott Benner 1:17:02
I bet you did. I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry. You went through that. You're not a smooth criminal. Well, I

Melissa 1:17:06
can't wait till our next appointment, which we have to camp because we don't have insurance right now. But we'll see. We'll see how the new insurance is. Oh,

Scott Benner 1:17:14
can you sell some of those eggs that Aetna and trade or something like that? No,

Melissa 1:17:19
those eggs are for my baby.

Scott Benner 1:17:21
How hard is it to make it to feed a chicken every day? Oh,

Melissa 1:17:25
not hard at all. Do you know what I have set it up? So I don't even have to feed them every day. So I went on the internet. Everything's on the internet as

Scott Benner 1:17:33
the chickens and

Melissa 1:17:34
ozempic I'm just kidding. God. No, no, no. But hey, you're about to get me on it because I'm tired of being chubby.

Scott Benner 1:17:43
I just switched, actually. Anyway,

Melissa 1:17:45
yeah. Good. I'm carrying I'm like comparing menopausal it's, I'm sure there's other should I should be doing but no, I made like great big feeders with giant plastic trash cans. Like got a like a you know when those circle bit things and cut a hole out and put in some PVC elbows. So they don't spread it everywhere. They just get their head then. And I can put two 350 pound bags of food in there. And I don't like I always check it like I check on them every day. And I gather the eggs and I shoveled it and stuff like that. Yeah, I don't have to. And I did the same thing with waters. My husband helped me with that in great big barrels and you know drilling holes and putting in little automatic cup waters. And so, like we check on them every day, but we don't have to haul water in whole food every single day. And that makes it so much nicer for us.

Scott Benner 1:18:37
A little bit of ingenuity. That's all you need. Yeah,

Melissa 1:18:39
and an automatic coupe door. lets them in and out. I mean, we can go on vacation now. It's great. And this is why we don't have a dog like with first you know, we had our you know, one the dogs that you get when you get married. You don't have kids yet? Well, you know, we've been married a long time. So they're dead. And they die before the baby. The youngest was born. She's gonna be five. By the time we were ready to think about getting a dog again. Her food allergies were such there was no way that we could have even crumbs of dog food anywhere. Mind you. I'm not a housekeeper. So that was a legit concern.

Scott Benner 1:19:14
How to get this off the floor? Yeah,

Melissa 1:19:17
I mean, there's there's many times like the kids, you know, get food on the floor. I'm like, Oh, if only we had a dog. But you know, we've been dogless long enough now that I'm, I'm reluctant to jump back in. Now the chickens don't tie us to the house the same way a dog would. So I know kids need pets and stuff like that. But they're gonna have to settle for chickens right now.

Scott Benner 1:19:35
I'm just gonna get a chameleon. And oh, I already have one. Nevermind. I'm good. Yeah,

Melissa 1:19:39
my sister has a house full of reptiles. And she has a much cooler mom than me because I'm like, Absolutely.

Scott Benner 1:19:44
I'm not getting any more. This is just this one thing. It's good for me because I find keeping the chameleon to be a lot like raising a cactus, which is they are so slow that they really teach you how to be patient. And I need more patients always Smart patients so I can sit and watch that thing, move a half an inch in 15 minutes and think, okay, I can slow down. Get it. I mean, so I'm good with it. Anyway, I appreciate you very much doing this. I don't know what we talked about. It doesn't matter to me. I love the podcast. We just sometimes we chit chat and things go one way or the other. I'm looking here people are thrilled with an episode that went up the other day. I'm getting a lot of notes about episode 1100. So maybe yours will be one of those that one day I'll look online and be like, Oh my god, I was listening to Melissa on episode 1500. No, I had such a good time where we're so thoughtful or whatever. But I really appreciate this. Thank you so much for doing this with me. Yeah, thanks for having me. Of course. Thank you for sitting in a parking lot to get your Wi Fi.

Melissa 1:20:46
I appreciate that. Well, I mean, pros and cons are living.

Scott Benner 1:20:57
Want to thank the ever since CGM for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast and invite you to go to ever said cgm.com/juicebox. To learn more about this terrific device. You can head over now and just absorb everything that the website has to offer. And that way you'll know if ever sense feels right for you. Ever since cgm.com/juice box. A huge thank you to one of today's sponsors, G voc glucagon, find out more about Chivo Capo pen at GE Vogue glucagon.com Ford slash juice box, they spell that GVOKEGL You see ag o n.com. Forward slash juice box. The conversation you just enjoyed was brought to you by us med U S med.com/juice box or call 888-721-1514 Get started today and get your supplies from us med. If you're not already subscribed or following in your favorite audio app. Please take the time now to do that. It really helps the show and get those automatic downloads set up so you never miss an episode. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. Hey, what's up everybody? If you've noticed that the podcast sounds better, and you're thinking like how does that happen? What you're hearing is Rob at wrong way recording doing his magic to these files. So if you want him to do his magic to you, wrong way recording.com You got a podcast you want somebody to edit it. You want Rob

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#1271 Bold Beginnings: Using a CGM

Bold Beginnings will answer the questions that most people have after a type 1 diabetes diagnosis.

You can always listen to the Juicebox Podcast here but the cool kids use: Apple Podcasts/iOS - Spotify - Amazon Music - Google Play/Android - iHeart Radio -  Radio Public, Amazon Alexa or wherever they get audio.

+ Click for EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to episode 1271 of the Juicebox Podcast

Welcome back everybody today Jenny Smith and I are adding to the bold beginning series with this episode about using CGM. Please don't forget that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan or becoming bold with insulin. If you are a loved one was just diagnosed with type one diabetes, and you're looking for some fresh perspective. The bold beginning series from the Juicebox Podcast is a terrific place to start. That series is with myself and Jenny Smith. Jenny is a CDC es a registered dietitian and a type one for over 35 years. And in the bowl beginning series Jenny and I are going to answer the questions that most people have after a type one diabetes diagnosis. The series begins at episode 698 In your podcast player, or you can go to juicebox podcast.com. And click on bold beginnings in the menu. If you'd like to help with type one diabetes research right from your own home, and you're a US resident who either has type one or is the caregiver of someone with type one, go to T one D exchange.org/juicebox. and complete the survey. It's that simple to help. type one diabetes can happen at any age. Are you at risk, screen it like you mean it because if just one person in your family has type one, you're up to 15 times more likely to get it to screen it like you mean it. One blood test can help you spot it early. And the more you know, the more you can do. So don't wait. Talk to your doctor about screening. Tap now or visit screened for type one.com To get more info and screen it like you mean it. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the Omni pod five, learn more and get started today at Omni pod.com/juice. box. Check it out. The episode you're about to listen to was sponsored today by ag one. You can drink ag one just like I do by going to drink ag one.com/juice box. Check it out. Jenny. Good morning. How are you?

Jennifer Smith, CDE 2:27
I'm well how are you?

Scott Benner 2:30
Good. Thank you. I'm excited to add to the bowl beginning series. Yay. I think that it is maybe the most popular series, certainly among newly diagnosed people. But in general people seem to really like it. It made me think a little bit. And by the way, this is a little tease about a way to kind of refresh the Pro Tip series, which Oh, yeah, when we're done here, I'll actually run my idea. I mean, make a note here to myself to tell you

Jennifer Smith, CDE 2:58
what I was talking about this a while ago just because of all of the new technology. And the algorithms that have really shown up compared to when we did majority of that.

Scott Benner 3:09
No, it was a handful years ago. Yeah, I think there's a nice way to refresh it. But the whole beginning series, we're just going to add to it today. I'd like to talk about basically wearing CGM, the accuracy best practices, that kind of stuff for people because I think you get diagnosed or you have a child who's diagnosed and all of a sudden you're wearing a device. This is obviously very new and different for somebody. Right? And then there's some quirks about wearing technology that aren't obvious in any mean and and ways to manage. That's a good way to say it, right?

Jennifer Smith, CDE 3:42
Yes, they are kind of, I guess quirks is a good? Yeah.

Scott Benner 3:46
So you know, I think no matter what you're talking about here libre ever since Dexcom. CGM is right. They're going to tell you Look, put them on. And it's going to tell you what your blood sugar is. And it will and they're great. They're absolutely fantastic. But you might then take your meter out, check your blood sugar and say, Oh, my meter says I'm 96. And my CGM says m 115. Which is it. So let's talk a little bit about how CGM work first versus how blood blood finger or excuse me about how BGM 's work. And then we'll, we'll lay it out for people so they understand give them some tips and tricks to get through and set up some expectations forums, that make good sense. Sure. Okay. So I'm gonna start by asking you some technical stuff that I don't understand as well as you do for certain. I use my, my blood sugar meter, and I check a drop of blood from my finger. And it says, I'm 96. Why is it possible that my CGM doesn't read the same? It's

Jennifer Smith, CDE 4:52
possible because your blood glucose meter is reading the glucose in your blood? which is, technically the more accurate it is the more real time right now. So your glucose then kind of shifts out, moves through our interstitial fluid that surrounds the tissues in the cells and everything in our body in order for the glucose to kind of move into cells. That's a very simplified explanation, right. But sensors, CGM EMS do not measure blood glucose, they measure the glucose that is in that interstitial fluid. And that's the reason that you can see a difference between a blood glucose and a CGM value, because they are not reading glucose in the same fluid in the body. And that glucose again from the blood has to kind of move out transport through the interstitial fluid. And so many people know the term or the thought of leg. In CGM data, a lot of people talk about that. And that data can leg then finger stick is here. CGM is higher than this or lower than this. The reason is because there's a lag in that glucose, sort of transport, if you will, into the interstitial fluid. And as we'll probably talk, it's another reason that hydration very important, really, really important.

Scott Benner 6:28
So very high level, not technically, someone one day said, Hey, there's glucose in your interstitial fluid. We can measure that and help people with diabetes using insulin. I'm going to read this interstitial fluid is the fluid that surrounds the cells in your tissues. It plays a crucial role in transporting nutrients and waste products between blood and cells. Yes, when you're using a continuous glucose monitor, it is important understand how the interstitial fluid relates to blood glucose monitoring. And Jenny's already brought up there's a lag, right? And that's lag could be five to 15 minutes from a finger stick. Okay? Correct. So somebody figured out, probably not that hard to figure out if you're like, you know, a scientist or you went to college or something, that there's glucose in there, we can measure it and we can help people not have to poke their fingers all the time and still get close enough to what's happening that it's really valuable for them. Okay, so interstitial fluid similar to blood plasma, it says, but without the high concentrations of proteins found in plasma contains water, electrolytes, glucose and other small molecules. Correct. So then, if you're dehydrated, then that fluid is not where it needs to be volume wise, I imagine. So Right. Why does that mess with the reading. I partnered with ag one because I needed a daily foundational nutritional supplement that supported my whole body health. I continue to drink ag one every day because it works for me. Ag one is my foundational nutritional supplement. It gives me comprehensive nutrition and it supports my whole body health, drink, ag one.com/juice box. When you use my link to place your first order, here's what you're gonna get a free welcome kit that includes a shaker scoop and canister, five free travel packs, a free year supply of vitamin D, and of course your ag one. So if you want to take ownership of your health, it starts with ag one. Try ag one and get a free one year supply of vitamin D and five free ag one travel packs with your first purchase. Go to drink ag one.com/juice box that's drink ag one.com/juice box. Check it out. My daughter is 20 years old, I can't even believe it. She was diagnosed with type one diabetes when she was two. And she put her first insulin pump on when she was four. That insulin pump was an omni pod. And it's been an omni pod every day since then. That's 16 straight years of wearing Omni pod. It's been a friend to us, and I believe it could be a friend to you, Omni pod.com/juicebox Whether you get the Omni pod dash or the automation that's available with the Omni pod five, you are going to enjoy tubeless insulin pumping, you're going to be able to jump into a shower or a pool or a bathtub without taking off your pump. That's right, you will not have to disconnect to bathe with an omni pod. You also won't have to disconnect to play a sport or to do anything where a regular tube pump has to come off. Arden has been wearing an omni pod for 16 years. She knows other people that were different pumps, and she has never once asked the question, should I be trying a different pump? Never once Omni pod.com/juice box, get a pump that you'll be happy with forever.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 9:50
Well tell me what happens when you have a really teeny tiny amount of water that you try to put a whole bunch of sugar in Does it stay fluid or what happens? Oh, it gets more viscous concentrated, right? It gets kind of sticky it gets. So not only are you impacting everything else that needs to be transported in your body in the right way, which, I mean, that's a whole just physiology discussion. But honestly, electrolytes play a big role in transport of even glucose and other sort of nutrients in the body. So when we're dehydrated, that concentration of all of these can kind of get slow in movement, as well as more concentrated, right. And so that can shift glucose readings. It's also the reason on the opposite, where people again know this term, it's like a compression low, right? Where you're laying on your sensor, what you're doing is compressing that sensor so much that all of that all but a good majority of that interstitial fluid gets shifted away from the sensor. And so what ends up happening is glucose levels drop. And not until you roll the child or the person over or they get up and kind of things get moving again, fluid comes back to normal, you know, levels that it should be at, then that glucose number jumps up, and is actually where it should be. So as you can see, hydration and proper hydration in the whole body can make a really big difference in

Scott Benner 11:22
so like a compression low as an example, almost like putting your foot in a puddle and you displace the water. So if you press hard on the sensor, you're displacing the interstitial fluid, which contains glucose, you're pushing that away from the sensor. And then that's why all of a sudden, you look low out of nowhere, because you technically push the glucose away from the sensor. And now suddenly, there's less there than actually exists in the body. Right? Interesting. Hey, here's a little side note that you'll probably pletely agree with. Only about 30 to 40% of adults meet the daily recommendation for water intake. And the remaining 60 to 70% may not be adequately hydrated with varying degrees of mild to moderate dehydration. So, my point bringing that up is is I think most people hear that and think I'm not dehydrated, but you very likely could be especially kids to who you know, correct.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 12:18
And honestly, you know, having worked with a good percentage of athletes in the past very heavily. Our biggest recommendation for hydration is that when your body finally gives you the signal that you're thirsty, you are definitely dehydrated,

Unknown Speaker 12:34
okay? You should not

Jennifer Smith, CDE 12:36
have thirst so to speak. That's like oh my gosh, I have to get a glass of water right now. You are not hydrated. Well, you're under hydrated at the point that your body is giving you signals right?

Scott Benner 12:51
I'm just gonna say here your urine like should be what? Oh, yeah, how do we measure our hydration by the color of our urine?

Jennifer Smith, CDE 12:58
Your urine should be like very light pale lemonade.

Scott Benner 13:03
Makes me want to sing lemonade. A cool refreshing drink. Clear or light yellow typically indicates good hydration, pale yellow. Also a sign of good hydration suggests that you're well hydrated but not overly so bright yellow can indicate mild dehydration and the presence of excess vitamins. Oh yeah, that's true too. If you take a multivitamin your your pee could get bright right and

Jennifer Smith, CDE 13:25
especially B vitamins. So I always recommend Do you know that you're really doing a good job of hydration and you've just taken like your multivitamin or a B complex or something like that. And your pee is like this golden color.

Scott Benner 13:39
dark yellow often indicates dehydration and that your body is currently conserving water. It's interesting and amber or Holly, honey colored, strong or sign of dehydration important to drink more water orange dye to people's Wait a minute. Orange can be the sign of severe dehydration and brown could indicate severe dehydration or the presence of certain medical conditions such as liver disease. pink or red is blood in the urine. Wait a minute, Jenny. This has nothing to do what we're talking about but blue or blue or green. unusual colors can result from certain medications or food dyes rare genetic conditions bacterial can and then cloudy or murky could indicate a urinary tract infection or kidney stone.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 14:21
Okay, but and from the color that even that pink it may not definitely be blood. If you have had a fair intake of bees recently. Beets or berries a fair you know an intake of those can definitely discolor the urine. Beets can also really discolor sort of poop. So just as an FYI.

Scott Benner 14:43
What color does beets make my poop? Kind

Jennifer Smith, CDE 14:47
of like? It's almost like a reddish color. Yeah, so there you go.

Scott Benner 14:52
Sorry. We go over it like this because being hydrated is super important for your CGM working by It's also very important for your insulin working as well. So we might as well talk about it here, because you're getting a double benefit. If you're wearing a CGM, you're gonna get more accurate readings. And if you're using insulin, which if you're listening to this, you're very likely are your insulin is going to work better. So can we take two seconds on that tell people why well hydrated body uses insulin more effectively?

Jennifer Smith, CDE 15:20
Absolutely. Again, it's a transport component, right, we're injecting or infusing insulin into what we call the sub q tissue. So the layer that sits like right underneath the skin, which is why your little cannulas or the even the insulin needles on your pens or your syringes, they don't really go in very far, they're not terribly long. The idea is that with proper hydration, and fluid movement in the body, that that insulin along with the chemicals that help it to get used in an appropriate timeline, it works along with the hydration of the body. And again, if you're under hydrated, things are not gonna be moving as easily I, I considered dehydration, especially like in circulation, it's kind of almost like molasses in winter, right, things move really slow. Once you get hydrated, things move and flow the appropriate way, your insulin, all of the nutrients, all of those things, they get moved to the right places in the body, in the timeframe that the body is meant to do it.

Scott Benner 16:24
I was going to mention that extreme temperatures can affect the rate in which glucose diffuses into your interstitial fluid. So that is a potential impact for your CGM, right things are also different, like blood flow. So like sedentary versus exercise again, increases. Yep. Right. So some best practices, first of all, be aware of lag time. Right? And that's an interesting one, because here's a real world example. Arden's blood sugar will, you know, dip down to 63? And I'll send her a text and I'll say, Hey, did you do something about this? And she'll say, Yeah, I'm good. I did, you know, I drank this, or I ate this or whatever. And then five minutes later, the CGM will still say 63. Or it'll go down again. And then I get the tap, tap, tap. It's my wife. She's low. And I'm like, no, no, I know. But she's already had something. Well, this thing still beeping at me. Right. And I'm like, Yeah, I know. But I think we did enough. Like, I think we did enough. It's gonna come back. You gotta wait. I find sometimes you need to wait 10 minutes? At least Yeah, to see. Yeah. And if you go, go ahead. Well,

Jennifer Smith, CDE 17:29
I was gonna say, and it could also be longer depending on what you've used to treat that with, right. Thus, the reason that we really recommend dextrose are really simple sugar, something that's going to get in get moving fairly quickly. Because if you don't, then not only is the CGM potentially lagging, but it might be also even behind further because of what you ate not being fast enough to reliably start bringing that blood sugar

Scott Benner 17:58
up. But in a case when you have done that, when you've taken in that simple sugar, and it's bounced like, say you're 63 and CGM says 63. You wait a couple of minutes after you drink your juice, and you test and you get a 75 test. And you think, Okay, this hit, it's coming, right? The CGM is not suddenly going to say 6075. As a matter of fact, that next time it it reads, you could end up being 1520 points higher than the last time, right. And so I just want to say here, you really still need a really accurate blood glucose meter, and you should use it. I know. And listen. Dexcom is a sponsor ever since as a sponsor, I think CGM are fantastic. I don't know what I would do without them. You still need a really good meter, and you should test your blood sugar. That's

Jennifer Smith, CDE 18:45
100%. Yeah, I 100% disagree. And I Oh,

Scott Benner 18:50
you just said I 100%. Disagree.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 18:52
I 100%. Agree. I 100%. Agree I was what I was gonna say. In terms of, you know, like disagreement is, I disagree with the fact that people are really heavily relying on only their CGM. And that they're really only waiting to do a fingerstick when their own body symptoms are telling them something that seems off compared to the CGM value. I mean, I think if I were the one setting up any of the sensor systems, my recommendation doesn't get into calibration because there's a whole strategy with calibration and that kind of stuff as well if it's needed, but my best practice is doing a finger stick when I get up in the morning. Yeah, just to see because just to see it because it gives me a visual of the CGM has been here all night. I have no food in my system. I have no excess of insulin from boluses or anything that could really be impacting right now. I do a few You're sick before I get out of bed. So I don't have that quick shift in blood sugar that could happen for many people, right that foot on the floor. And they compare. And if it's off with, you know, within this set comparison, I may calibrate, but 99% of my mornings I'm not calibrating. I'm just comparing and saying, yeah, it looks great, fabulous, even

Scott Benner 20:24
like, but what you don't want is to get out of bed with a blood sugar of 140. And your CGM is like, Oh, you're 95. And then rack, then the whole day just 45 Points off everything that you do that the first Bolus you make, you know, leads to probably arise, you know, because you didn't have enough insulin. And this just doesn't, this doesn't stop. And even if the CGM comes back in line eventually great, but it just throws it. I'm just a big fan of testing once a day, at the very least,

Unknown Speaker 20:56
yeah, yes.

Scott Benner 20:59
Getting older means a world of change. But some things still stay the same, like being at risk for type one diabetes. Because type one can happen at any age. So screen it like you mean it. If just one person in your family has type one, you're up to 15 times more likely to get it too. And 50% of type one diagnosis is happen after the age of 18. So screen it like you mean it. type one diabetes starts long before you need insulin. And one blood tests could help you spot it early and lower the risk of serious complications like diabetic ketoacidosis, known as the Ka. So don't get caught by surprise. Screen it like you mean it. Because getting answers now can help you get prepared, the more you know, the more you can do. So don't wait, talk to a doctor about how to get screened. Tap now or visit screen for type one.com. To learn more. Again, that's screen for type one.com. And screen it like you mean it.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 22:01
You know we have Dexcom Hello, and I know the other systems have something else but Dexcom has clarity reports, right? And so clarity reports will give you an estimated what they it's not an agency but an estimated average, right? They call it a GMI. A glucose management indicator and that gives you a value close to what a one C would represent from an actual blood draw. And in comparison, some people get really frustrated. Well, my agency came back at this but my GMI according to clarity was telling me that I should be here or here. And it's frustrating. My first recommendation is or a question is, are you doing finger sticks,

Scott Benner 22:46
right?

Jennifer Smith, CDE 22:47
If you're not doing finger sticks, let's start doing several finger sticks a day. Because I would almost say that in the majority of those cases, the CGM is what's off. The CGM is not on with the finger stick enough. And so your GMI is then reporting an average. That's not actually what's really represented in your blood. Yeah, right. So I think they're in the case of things being really different. It's just a good strategy to do even more than one test a day for even if it's just a week, if

Scott Benner 23:24
I'm listening to this, and I'm more newly diagnosed, what I would want you to take away from this is, this is maybe some of the best technology that's ever existed for people with diabetes, agreed that and algorithm pumps are going to change people's lives with type one. And you should not walk around bemoaning, oh my gosh, I'm 95 and it says 110. That's astounding, be very happy. Okay, right. But the next thing they're going to think, is, well, if I'm really 95, and it says I'm 110, and I'm on an automated system, is it not going to give me insulin based on 110? And, you know, like, should I be fearful that I've never come up with a better answer other than to say that my daughter has been on different algorithms for a long time. This has never been an issue. And I know that is not a comforting statement. Right? To me, it's the same question. It's the same answer as back in the day when somebody would have, you know, four different meters. And they would like take pictures they'd like they test their blood sugar with one meter. Then with the next one that would the next one, the next one, they get four wildly different numbers. And they say great, now which one of these should I use? Right? I'd pick the most accurate one. You know, like, go look online, see which one of them they have is most accurate and go with that. But at some point, do you don't remember that moment? Probably because you were a kid when you were diagnosed, but I remember the moment of like swallowing hard and going, this is the meter. I don't know if it's right or not, but I gotta go with it because I gotta go with something. Like I'm not in the hospital. She doesn't have we're not using a $10,000 blood glucose meter. and I really mean like, this is the one I have. And if you know what I'm saying like it's a real big leap to make

Jennifer Smith, CDE 25:05
it is and unless you really know, as you already said, you can look up accuracy online, right? There are charts and in diabetes daily, there are a whole bunch of different places that have accuracy chart by different brands even have the off brands right that are on there for an evaluation. I always say choose the one that is not only on your insurance plan coverage wise, but also choose the one that's on that list that is the highest accuracy according to this chart.

Scott Benner 25:36
Yeah, there's like three meters at the top of the chart, listen to contour next gen is a longtime sponsor of the podcast, and it's the one we use, it's a very well ranked and rated meter and

Jennifer Smith, CDE 25:47
and they've rated top of the charts for years. Yeah, particular meter I kind of right up there with it is, I wish I could use that one. My insurance doesn't cover that one. It prefers accucheck brands. So I use the guide or the guide me that one has very similar to the contour accuracy readings. So again, look, because that also translates into if you're going to be calibrating as you brought up, I checked one this meter and then I checked on this meter, and I checked on this meter, and I have three varying results. And this day, you're using this particular brand and this day you're using this particular brand at work to calibrate your CGM. Don't Don't do that. Pick one, pick a meter and use that one to always calibrate just

Scott Benner 26:32
freaks you out in the beginning. Like it just does. Like you know, you're fairly newly diagnosed. You're like, well, this meter says my blood sugar's one thing. The CGM says another thing, then you start going well, which is it? And right, I always tell people I'm like, I don't know. Is it a $4 meter and an A Dexcom? I'd probably trust the Dexcom more, but like I don't think it's a more or less it's an understanding of once you have as accurate as you can blood glucose meter CGM. Then understand the lag time really seriously. Look at your hydration. You know, you know, are you in an extreme temperature situation? I listen, I'm wearing a CGM. Today. I got in the shower and my blood sugar went up 45 points. I have a working pancreas. Do you really think my blood sugar went up? 45 points. Right, right. So there's that stuff to remember it also, when you put it on is really important. So going back to CGM Jenny, I talked about this before we started. Again, I want to say again, I don't want to scare anyone away. Definitely get a CGM. Okay, but the first day ain't as good as the second day. Ain't as good as the third day. And then all of a sudden, when you get to the end of the sensor, it could trail away again, some people have great luck. Some people's physiology works great with them. And some old time Oh, my God, yep, just boom, all good. Yep, I saw Arden had a g7 go bad in the last three hours last week. And other than that I've seen they go right, she wears them right out to the end every time. And the longer she's wearing them, the better they look for her, like accuracy wise. So but keep that in mind, too. If you're in a 10 day window or a 14 day window, it's boring. But there's that little sensor is under your skin. And it's in there. And it takes a little time to what's the word people use marinate,

Jennifer Smith, CDE 28:13
marinate,

Scott Benner 28:14
again, yes, right? Like get set, who cares what's actually technically happening. Dexcom added what to the g7. It's a like a grace period.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 28:25
There is so after the 10 days, you have a 12 hour grace period that the sensor will continue to work before it's fully expired. And in that grace period, it will continue giving alerts and alarms and all of the regular stuff. They've just given, you know a period of sometimes life is what it is, and you planned to be home at 2pm to change it and your train got stuck or you're just stuck in traffic or you had to go pick up your dog or whatever happened. And now you're either without a sensor because it has fully expired or now with g7, you've got 12 hours beyond that 2pm that it's still going to help you until you can really get home.

Scott Benner 29:07
And so I'll tell you what I tried to get Arden to do and she fights me all the time about it. But you know, I'm always like, look, put a new one on now while the old ones still working. And just let that thing sit in there for a while and get accustomed to its surroundings. And you know, because if it if it doesn't work as well, in the first couple of hours of the first day for some people, then let's try to buy some more time there and then we'll swap it back on the end by taking the free 12 hours on the backside if we can, right that makes sense to me. So people call that like marinade era needing a new sensor right you just you all you do is you open up the g7 pop it on and then you don't do anything else. You don't start it up often hold on to the box hold on to the sensor then when it's time to switch you scan that one and jump to the other one. And you might very well see better numbers coming back from it the longer it's been in. We try to do it for a couple of hours at least but she's just He's just tough. She's young. You don't I mean, I'm like, I'm like, it

Jennifer Smith, CDE 30:02
doesn't mean a million other things. Yeah, it's

Scott Benner 30:04
hard for to get but it's a great, it's a great tip. Is that something you can do with libre? Do you know? That's

Jennifer Smith, CDE 30:10
a really good question.

Scott Benner 30:12
No, if you can, I don't think so.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 30:15
I don't know. Okay, I would honestly because Libre is similar in that the device also is like G seven that it just pops on. There's no additional transmitter to pop in, or it's like a one and done kind of habit on it. I think it could be possible because you still have to enable that CGM to get started with the app. I would expect but I don't know for sure. I. Honestly, the majority of people that I get the opportunity to work with are either Dexcom or you know the small number who get really good accuracy with Medtronic Guardian system, which is nice.

Scott Benner 30:53
How do you find the predictive alerts work for CGM? Like the ones who tell you you're going to be low in a while? Do you notice that they are helpful?

Jennifer Smith, CDE 31:03
I think that they can be helpful what I've seen the best though, and it goes back to hydration. It really goes back to the reliability of your fluids moving the way that they're supposed to through the body. And that data that then gets transmitted from blood into the interstitial fluid, it's going to register a shift that's going to trigger however, you've had that predictive alarm set. Either you get you have it set really conservative or really aggressive to alert your alert you sooner or later to that drop happening that could predispose you to the low. Where

Scott Benner 31:40
are you at on calibration? Do you calibrate?

Jennifer Smith, CDE 31:44
I calibrate if necessary? Yes. The majority of my centers, I've had really, really good luck, if you will, with my Dexcom. For a long time,

Scott Benner 31:58
I'll have ordered and calibrate once in a while doesn't come up that often. I think you really have to pick through what works best for you. Like some people will say, look, I put that thing on six hours into it. It says I'm 65. And I'm 90. And I calibrate. And some people will tell you like don't calibrate on the first day. And you know, in Dexcom, all the CGM companies, they don't really talk about how to best do that. So I would say this,

Jennifer Smith, CDE 32:21
they do tell you that you can calibrate. And most of them, if you've read the fine print in their owner's manual, there is a defined strategy to what they recommend for calibration. And how far outside of that could actually create sort of a setup or where the sensor is just going to fail itself. Because you have over given it information. And the algorithm that's changing that sensed goes to a number to tell you what it is, it gets all messed, you could just

Scott Benner 32:54
confuse it. You could confuse it you find sensor placement because you know, there's the places where they've tested the sensors. So they can say you can wear it here, but people move them all over the place. Do you find that you have better sights some than others for accuracy?

Jennifer Smith, CDE 33:08
I do. You know, again, leg sight isn't technically approved. I don't wear it. I also don't wear my pumps on my thighs either. Neither of them work ever for me. But people find special places that do definitely work. Many times. They're the approved sites. And the majority of the time. They are not technically approved sites. My recommendation is tested. This is another opportune time to use your glucose meter. And make sure that it is actually really serving you. Well there. And then if it is great, keep using it. I mean, we all have limited real estate on our body. Yeah,

Scott Benner 33:50
I don't know that Arden has ever worn a Dexcom on our arm. Seven gees. Oh, nice. You bring them on or like size for hips or budget, upper body kind of thing. Yeah, like there. So let's talk a little bit about the quality of your management is also going to add to the quality of your CGM accuracy. So if your blood sugars are not constantly bouncing up and down or super high or super low, you are going to see, I think more stable accurate readings back from a CGM, correct. Yeah, yes. Okay.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 34:21
Absolutely. And with the difference between those coming again speaking Dexcom, specifically, those coming from G six to G seven, where there is no longer smoothing of the data. Right. That balance could get worse, visibly in the data points with somebody who has a lot more Rise Fall happening looking a lot more like a roller coaster. Those numbers again, data points on the CGM graph, they could look a lot more jagged and up and down even as the glucose is going up and down compared to somebody who has a lot smoother trends. addition from data point to data point.

Scott Benner 35:01
Yeah, that and then my point is that if you do simple things, like we talked about in the diabetes Pro Tip series, like Pre-Bolus, your meals, you know, have your settings closer, you're not going to see as much variability. And you're going to see more accuracy out of your CGM as well also do not calibrate while your blood sugar's moving. So correct. If you're rising very quickly falling very quickly. That is not a good time to calibrate. No, this thyroid have impact on CGM accuracy at all? Or do you think it just has impact? Because right, like, as I looked into it a tiny bit like, so you can have like, an overactive thyroid, right, which would maybe speed up your metabolism as an example? Like, would that maybe move glucose through you differently? You know, it's an interesting, I just, I don't know if it's right or not it just like it popped into my head. I'm like, I wonder what medications people are taking that might have an impact on this as well? Well,

Jennifer Smith, CDE 35:54
I do you know, obviously, and most people who are Dexcom users know about acetaminophen. And in fact, while they cleared that push to avoid acetaminophen, I think it was once G six came out, they still will ask you, if you are trying to return a failed sensor, if you had used acetaminophen, my expectation is that they're looking potentially maybe for a dose, that's more likely going to fail a sensor comparative to just using you know, 500 milligrams of something once a day, and you had no effect whatsoever. I know Vitamin C is another one, you know, higher doses of vitamin C can certainly affect the accuracy. I think it's a FreeStyle Libre, too, for vitamin C, and you know, a lot of people might not even realize that they're using a large amount of that. If they're, if they're taking some type of a powder that includes a high amount of vitamin C, they're not technically just taking a chewable or a daily might vitamin, they may not think that they're really going to have a problem. They may not realize it's in something else that they're eating. Okay, those are the two things I definitely have impact. So with

Scott Benner 37:10
overactive underactive thyroid, I'm just kind of picking through some of the notes I made earlier. It's gonna more change like, like underactive thyroid, slower metabolic rate could delay glucose uptake into cells, which could affect how quickly changes in your blood glucose are affected. All I'm saying is that if you have hypo hyperthyroidism, it's not crazy to think that you might see Genki readings from your CGM. Or maybe it's a little different for you than it is for other people. Maybe listen, if I'm wrong, that's fine. You have to imagine there are other things impacting this, it's not as easy as I put the thing on and the thing don't work. You don't mean like it right. And that's what I think always happens with people's they just kind of don't see the bigger picture. And I understand why. Right? Because you don't buy tires, and think, oh, they were out faster. But I drive faster than other people like you just think I bought more than other more or like the roads are worse or whatever. Like you just think like I bought the thing they said 30,000 Miles 60 It didn't last, like you know, there's reasons why things happen. I don't know what they are sometimes. Yeah, you just need to think bigger when you're trying to decide how to make this thing work the best because this is going to be a very important part of your life with diabetes until they come up with something different. And I don't know if there's something different to come up with. A CGM might be the greatest advancement for people using insulin, you know, in the last 20 years.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 38:34
Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. In terms of that accuracy to, you know, and calibration and whatnot. There are strategies, like I said, in the fine print of the books to if it's this far off, this is one to add a calibration. I know in the realm of people with diabetes, there are so many conversations about when to calibrate how to calibrate how many calibrations to put in, should I change the number from this to this to make it closer to the actual to put into the system so that I don't confuse it. I mean, there's so many different things. My first recommendation is always go by what the system is telling you as allowable for a calibration and try that

Scott Benner 39:15
first. Right. Follow the advice from the company about how to handle it.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 39:19
Correct. Exactly. And then, you know, Bob on the corner who has his own proven strategy? You know, what, if you've tried the strategy, they don't seem to be working, maybe try Bob strategies, but I, I wouldn't necessarily rely on them. 100%

Scott Benner 39:35
working for you, you have a second over adhesive stuff. Sure. Okay. So some people are going to have adhesive allergies. And it's not crazy to say that everyone sort of while some of you are going to have significant adhesive allergies must be no big surprise. You have autoimmune issues and your body tends to overreact to things. So skin preparation, doctors, so it's tough, right? Because they're going to tell you to clean your skin The alcohol. Yes, and for some people may be a person with very oily skin that might be really important. But for some people who have more sensitive skin taking out those oils could lead to, you know, dry skin, that kind of stuff. We are more like light soap and water, pet dry people. We don't use alcohol to clean the sights. In that idea somewhere might be something for you. So if you're noticing your skin getting very dry, bumpy, scaly, I the first thing I would do is I'd get away from alcohol, if you're using it to see what happens, not a doctor not advice, etc, and so on. It's what worked well. For us. There are skin barriers. There are skin tag, Tara DERM. What's the other one IV?

Jennifer Smith, CDE 40:43
Well, there are a couple that help with stickiness. So if you're having a problem on the end of things not staying stuck, okay, there's some things that are patches for that, or perhaps IV prep, all those kinds of things that actually help at here. But then there are more patches, IV 3000. And those types of barriers that are hypoallergenic, they're typically clear, they come in multiple different sizes. And essentially, you would clean your skin with whatever method you're going to do, let it dry with that on the skin, creating a thin barrier. Upon which then you're going to apply the sensor you're gonna pop the sittin sensor on over so the sensor adhesive is not technically touching your skin, right.

Scott Benner 41:31
So you're just trying to create a barrier between you and that adhesive because some people, some people are never going to be bothered by it. Some people are terrible, they can't wear it, you feel horrible for them. Some people can't get it to stay on, some people can't get the tip come off. And you're gonna you're gonna, you're gonna hear people online like well, I don't know why they don't make it more like this or they're trying to make it down the middle. So everybody helps most people. And you might have to make some, some adjustments. hypo allergenic tapes, adhesives are a way to get around sensitive skin. There's these holders like some 3d printed like holders I've seen people use Yep.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 42:10
And that's actually for the people who really can't do an adhesive. So what happens is they'll put a dressing on, the adhesive will essentially not be on their skin. And in order to hold especially like the pad or in the infusion set, or even the sensor on the skin. That sort of 3d printed is almost like a it's like a cage that sits on top. Yeah. And then there's a band that goes around to actually hold that in place

Scott Benner 42:41
where you can use different adhesive that doesn't come on your device that maybe you can deal with. Yep, keep moving your sites, if you're having reactions is can be helpful. hydrocortisone creams and histamine, stuff like that. Like if it gets to that point for you. You know, there are ways to manage it. And for those of you who can't, I mean, I'd say if you absolutely can't figure it out, like if your skin just doesn't work then I think you got to look at ever since for the implantable CGM right because they have their transmitter is on a silicone based I think I'm saying that right silicone based adhesive, which I don't think causes much. dermatologist. dermatological. Is that dermatological? Is that right? issues. If not make up a word. A good

Jennifer Smith, CDE 43:27
word. A great works for me. Yeah, good.

Scott Benner 43:31
Okay, so anything we're not talking about here that you can think of anything we must. I think

Jennifer Smith, CDE 43:37
the only thing that I would say in the same line of thought that we're just talking about would be really make sure that after you remove any adhesive, whether it's a CGM or a pump soldering, you really clean that site. Well, they seal a lot of times just a basic like, clean over it with like, again, like an alcohol or something to kind of get the sticky stuff off, but you never really completely getting off all of that residue. And there are some really good residue removers there even some that are more like essential oil type, you know, or homeopathic that work really well that are just good for the skin. I also think keeping skin really, overall, people with diabetes can tend to have drier skin, and so making sure that you're overall really well moisturized as well. But does that sound

Scott Benner 44:31
weird? Either on the cocoa butter or whatever. Yeah, coconut

Jennifer Smith, CDE 44:35
oil actually. I mean, it's great for a million wonderful things and it is you know, it's a wonderful

Scott Benner 44:44
kid, you know, you can refinish leather products with coconut oil. I did not know that. It did it with an ottoman once it worked very well. Treat yourself like an ottoman Jenny is saying and moisturize your skin

Jennifer Smith, CDE 44:56
and moisturize your skin and especially those sites that get used and used and used, really make sure that they get nicely cleaned and hydrated. How about from

Scott Benner 45:06
your perspective, nutrition or vitamins that would help with that? Anything that pops the mind? That's an outside of the box question, but because I'll point out that hypothyroidism could lead to dry skin as well. So if you're under medicating your thyroid and you're experiencing dry skin, that would not be crazy if your TSH was if you're one of those people walking around with a four and a half TSH, your doctors like it's fine, which probably isn't you probably want to push it under 2.1. But like that could be a thing. But I mean, are there like when people take multivitamins? Are there foods that help with with skin? Health? Or am I just making that up? Um,

Jennifer Smith, CDE 45:48
well, I'm quite sure I'd have to go to my skin health kind of guide. But I mean, there are certainly things that are very good overall, even in the in terms of aging, which is not what we're really talking about, but it kind of goes right along with keeping your skin healthier, more stretchy and keeping things more elastic. Rather than getting paper thin kind of skin. There are definitely nutrients and food in terms of supplemental, I'm always wanting to save try to eat it in food as much as possible. Rather than pulling out a whole bunch of expensive stuff that you may not actually be in need of. Jenny,

Scott Benner 46:30
I asked our chat GPT overlords. They said that benefits of vitamin A produces cell production helps repair vitamin C boosts collagen production. Yep, vitamin E acts as an antioxidant. omega three fatty acids reduces inflammation keeps skin moisturize supports skin barriers, function. Zinc can add in skin repair and reduce reduction of inflammation. Bio 10 B seven supports healthy skin by improving the skin's hydration collagen, protein essential for repair. Vitamin D plays a role in skin cell growth and repair. So yeah, I mean, eat well. Always a good advice, but you know, all these things could be valuable for you.

Jennifer Smith, CDE 47:15
And interesting, a very valuable thing about all the rest of those is that they are highly recommended and people with diabetes anyway. Yeah.

Scott Benner 47:23
If you're taking care of yourself, you might be taking care of your skin by mistake already. Right. Cool. Yep. All right. Well, I want to thank you, I'm gonna let you go. But then I'm going to tell everybody to hang on for a second because I'm going to go over some things that I have in my notes that I'm not sure if we hit or not so fabulous. There'll be more right after this. Okay, thank you. Alright, guys, Jenny's gone she had to get going. But I put together so much like stuff to talk about in this episode that I just wanted to kind of roll through it very quickly. And make sure that it's all highlighted for you. So very, I'm gonna go through very fast. These are things you should be researching maybe on your own. Super simple stuff, right. Sensor insertion, clean the site, use proper placement. Rotate your sites, calibrations, like Jenny said, Follow the manufacturer's guidelines for calibrations, and try very hard only calibrate during stable glucose levels. Do your best to keep the sensor dry. I know you can be in and out of water with them. But you know, the better you keep them, maybe the better the adhesives going to stay, you know won't be moving around that could end up helping you stay on top of when the sensor expires, right? You want to know when it's going to shut off? Are you noticing janky readings and you're more towards the end? Maybe that's why take a look at maybe swapping it out a little sooner. If you don't know what's happening, all the company ask questions go online, find Facebook groups, go to the Juicebox Podcast Facebook group, ask other people who are users, you might get some great information from them. Skin Health hydration superduper important a balanced diet. Now just not just a balanced diet for your skin but a balanced diet so that your blood sugars aren't bouncing all over the place. You're monitoring your blood sugar with the CGM, which just works better. If your blood sugar is not super variable. You're always going to need adequate sleep. Keep your stress down, get mental health support. Remember that alcohol consumption moves your blood sugar around CGM is going to bounce around with it. Now you're a little loaded and the things jumping around might be harder to pay attention to. I'm not saying that alcohol changes its ability to work. I'm saying alcohol can have impacts on your blood sugar. And now you are trying to decide what you're seeing on your CGM when you're inebriated, and it's bouncing around a little more. Scrolling down super important. I know we went over it probably felt boring to you but understanding how interstitial fluid works, what it is and how the CGM is monitoring it really important especially for understanding lag time. And that's impact on what your readings might be versus your blood glucose meter. I can't suggest enough a quality blood glucose meter contour next.com/juicebox Great, great, accurate meters. There are other medications impacting your readings Jenny mentioned acetaminophen, also beta blockers could have an impact. Check into that with your doctor or online. So regular monitoring consistent medication use regular endocrinology visits. Some other stuff to keep in mind the Dexcom G seven has a shorter warmup time of just 30 minutes, you can plan your sensor changes to give yourself some marinating time very helpful. Between me and you. I don't care what the company says about never needing a calibration. You need your meter, you should be checking your blood sugar and seeing if there are drastic differences. Just so you know. Okay. And then you can make a decision about calibrating but you want to make sure that you understand what's going on. That's libre three Dexcom all of them adhesive skin prep barrier methods, hypoallergenic adhesives, rotating your sights, making sure you get all the adhesive off, and managing reactions if you have them. Finding a health care provider to help you with this may be necessary. If you're having significant allergies to adhesive. You can consult a dermatologist, look for barrier creams, non adhesive alternatives, medical grade silicone tapes, all these things might be possible. This would be a time to get online find other people who have this issue and see what's working for them. That's it.

Did you know if just one person in your family has type one diabetes, you're up to 15 times more likely to get it to screen it like you mean it. One blood test can spot type one diabetes early tap now talk to a doctor or visit screened for type one.com. For more info. The conversation you just enjoyed was sponsored by Omni pod five. You want to get an omni pod five you can you wanted to make me happy, do it with my link, Omni pod.com/juice box. I'd like to thank ag one for sponsoring this episode of The Juicebox Podcast and remind you that with your first order, you're going to get a free welcome kit, five free travel packs and a year supply of vitamin D. That's at AG one.com/juicebox. Are you starting to see patterns but you can't quite make sense of them. You're like, Oh, if I Bolus here this happens, but I don't know what to do. Should I put in a little less a little more? If you're starting to have those thoughts? You're starting to think this isn't going the way the doctor said it would I think I see something here but I can't be sure. Once you're having those thoughts. You're ready for the diabetes Pro Tip series from the Juicebox Podcast. It begins at episode 1000. You can also find that at juicebox podcast.com up in the menu and you can find a list in the private Facebook group. Just check right under the feature tab at the top it'll show you lists of a ton of stuff including the Pro Tip series, which runs from Episode 1000 to 1025. If you're not already subscribed or following in your favorite audio app, please take the time now to do that. It really helps the show and get those automatic downloads set up so you never miss an episode. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back very soon with another episode of The Juicebox Podcast. The episode you just heard was professionally edited by wrong way recording. Wrong way recording.com

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