#473 Sneaking Food

April 29, 2021Scott Benner

The Psychology of Type 1

Erica is a licensed marriage and family therapist who herself has had Type 1 diabetes for over 30 years and who specializes in working with people with diabetes and their families and caregivers—from those newly diagnosed to those experiencing it for decades. She and Scott discuss sneaking food and constructive ways to prevent it. http://erikaforsyth.com

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello friends and welcome to Episode 473 of the Juicebox Podcast.

Today, Erica forsyte this back. You know Erica, she's the licensed Marriage and Family Therapist from California. She's been on the show a number of times, and she's here today to talk with me about how to address sneaking of food. Please remember, while you're listening that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise. Please always consult a physician before making any changes to your health care plan, or becoming bold with insulin.

California residents if you're looking for a therapist, look no further than Erica forsyth.com. I'd like to remind you that if you're looking for the diabetes pro tip episodes or the defining diabetes episodes, they are right here in your podcast player. But you can also find them at Juicebox Podcast calm or diabetes pro tip calm. If you're listening in a podcast player, please hit subscribe or follow. Thank you very much. The T one D exchange is looking for type one adults and type one caregivers who are us residents to participate in a quick survey that can be completed in just a few moments from your computer or phone. This survey is 100% anonymous, completely HIPAA compliant, and does not require you to ever see a doctor or go to a remote site. Why you say what a survey require that? Well, because this data is actually helping people living with type one diabetes, and I wouldn't want you to get confused and think oh, this is a trial. I might have to go see a doctor, huh? No, no, you can actually help people with type one without being in a trial. And without visiting a physician. You just go to T one d exchange.org. forward slash juicebox. Click on join our registering now, and then simply complete the survey. Once you've done that, your information, which again is completely anonymous, will be used to help other people living with Type One Diabetes and it supports the podcast. Past participants like you have helped to bring increased coverage for test strips, Medicare coverage for CGM, and have brought changes in the ABA guidelines for pediatric a one c goals. And I'm excited to imagine what your participation may lead to T one d exchange.org. forward slash juicebox. There's also a link in the show notes at Juicebox. Podcast comm a bunch of people who listened to the show sent in questions for you. And you distilled them down into topics. Is that fair? Yes. Okay. Great. Great. And so as I'm looking at them here and trying to decide where to start, I feel like I want to start with sneaking food. Are you comfortable with that?

Unknown Speaker 3:18
Absolutely.

Scott Benner 3:18
Okay. I am at a, I'll just say that I'm at a loss when people ask this question of me. And it does get asked of me a ton. You know, Mike, I don't know what to do. And I'll tell you what, it's almost heartbreaking. Because it usually ends up being these people who have figured out they think they've got it all figured out. And then they keep seeing these like anomaly type blood sugars, and they kill themselves. Maybe it's the basil, maybe I didn't Bolus the meal at lunch, right? And it's protein coming. And they really they just they're killing themselves trying to figure out what it is. And then one day they realize that their kids are eating innopolis thing for it. And it's um, it seems heartbreaking when it happens to them to the parent, you know, but I want to understand I mean, obviously I want to let you talk your way through it but I feel like what we want to understand here for the parents perspective is why does this happen? And how do you work through it? Does that make sense?

Unknown Speaker 4:20
Yes the why and then the house okay

Scott Benner 4:22
yes great. So I mean go What do you think

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 4:26
first of all, I think removing type one out of the equation this can happen in you know with children and teens anyway. of sneaking food but with looking at it through the lens of type one. I would consider has it become has a certain what type of food are they sneaking Is it is it just sweets? Is it crackers? You know what is has a food group in your house become known as bad or forbidden? And is that what the what your child sneaking. Okay. So are they, they're feeling like oh my gosh, I'm not supposed to eat candy. And that's just eat crackers, whatever it is, I would want to examine, has it become a forbidden fruit sort of speak in your household? And is that why the child is seeking it? Because they know they're not supposed to have it? And, and really just looking at, okay, why? Why has that? If that is the case? Why has that become forbidden? Is it because you don't feel comfortable? bolusing for it, is it that your child just you cannot figure it out, and your child reacts in a certain way? So I would look at is it? Is it something that they have learned, or they've been told that they're not supposed to have it? And that implies, like some excitement around maybe it's like, they don't really even care, but it's exciting to sneak it. And so that's kind of I would look at that is those first two things? Is it? Is it forbidden? And maybe they're getting some kind of emotional response out of it to?

Unknown Speaker 6:05
Go ahead?

Scott Benner 6:06
Is it not possible that it could have become forbidden by mistake? Meaning maybe the kid has seen you have some weird reaction to a number at some point. And you've said like, Oh, this, you know, cereal? Always does this? And then maybe they think, well, I don't want to put that on my parents.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 6:26
Yes. And I think they're trying to avoid maybe any shame that has been, like placed on them by accident. Or, you know, gosh, I when I eat this cereal, and I go high, and then mom or dad gets frustrated or angry. And maybe they're not frustrated or angry with me, but they're angry at the number, but it's pretty common then for the child to internalize. I've been a bad kid. I've been a bad, whatever. I've made bad choices. I'm not supposed to eat this food. I don't want mom and dad to be angry. I don't want to see that number. So I'm just going to sneak it and pretend like it didn't happen. And then to avoid the shame, but then we know that you know, shame can just creep in and grow. So yes, I think it can happen by accident. Absolutely. Not necessarily just by like clear, don't eat this food ever write statements.

Scott Benner 7:23
So what you just said made me think of one thing. And I have a second question. But then Couldn't it be possible that adults living with type one who have no one watching them? Like you're not even like a spouse? Like somebody that's there could end up in some odd way stealing food from themselves by not bolusing for it? Is that the same problem? Like I do you see what I'm saying? Like if you know that this Bolus is going to go poorly. Is it easier to just like say, well screw it, I'm just going to eat this anyway. And I'll deal with it later. Rather than put myself as a scenario where I make a Bolus, it doesn't work. And then the whole thing feels like a failure throughout.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 8:00
Yes, I would say yeah, and there's a lot of right, there's a lot of steps that you're going through in your mind. And it may be just becomes a pattern to behavior, where I somehow have either learned or establish this pattern in my life, where if I eat this certain food, whatever it is, I can never get it right. I'm just going to eat it. And then I'm going to figure it out later, I'm going to try and correct it later. Or I'm just going to avoid the whole thing. And just move on without my day. And then you're running high. And you kind of go to the next thing, right? So I think even as adults, you can if as a kid, you have learned that you weren't supposed to eat a certain food group. And this, this happened for me for sure. As a child, 30 years ago, I wasn't allowed to eat sweets. And so of course, I snuck them. And then in that pattern, I became like, it became shameful to eat. And then the other issue that I think is maybe ask answering the question, why is that maybe as a child or even as an adult, you've been eating a cookie in public, and maybe some kind of peripheral friends or peers or colleagues know you're diabetic? And they say, Are you allowed to eat that? I mean, this happens to me still. And it depending on how I want to respond, I'll just say yep. And keep going. Or if I feel like I want to give a response, I'll explain how I can eat it. But that can if you're hearing that question all the time, particularly as a child who might not have all the development, developmental, you know, ability to kind of process through Yes, I can eat it and it's okay. They're not trying to shame me.

Unknown Speaker 9:47
That happens and so you that you then feel like oh my gosh, am I supposed to have this? Why does everyone keep asking if I can have this?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 9:53
So forget it. I'm not going to eat it in public. I'm going to go hide this and ate it in my room.

Scott Benner 9:57
So So shame Right is, in this scenario, the diabetes, like the function of the diabetes and how it impacts blood sugar gets commingled, it gets melded with who you are. And that's why you feel shameful about it. Is that I mean, yes, because I hear people all the time talking about, especially like old time type ones, they're very careful to warn people about not conflating you with your diabetes. And I've always understood, like, I've always felt like, I've understood that, but in this specific scenario, I can see now as you're discussing it, where the impact comes in, if I am my diabetes, then the failure of my insulin use is a failure of me. This all gets pulled together into one thing, and therefore, I'd rather not have this experience even for myself, but I but also not let somebody from the outside see it.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 11:02
Yes. And and then equating, if you're saying, Okay, and then I'm bad. I'm a bad person, not even just even a bad diabetic. Yeah, I'm a bad person. If I've eaten this cookie, and I didn't Bolus correctly and now I'm 300. And I, I'm a terrible person.

Scott Benner 11:21
And inside in your brain and your psyche, there's no difference between that number and you at that point.

Unknown Speaker 11:26
Correct. Correct. And so

Scott Benner 11:28
when you hear somebody who loves a person whose, by the way, is sneaking food the right way to say it? I'm not usually the word police. But is, is that? I guess it really is. Right? It's

Unknown Speaker 11:40
it's eating? Well, I

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 11:40
think Bolus Yes. Yeah, I think eating without bolusing is one thing. But if you're doing it, or even bolusing correctly, but if you're doing it in a way that you you're taking food, and either you're actually physically hiding while eating, which I know happens. Or you're sneaking it without kind of if you are under that's I'm thinking from more from the lens of like a child, and you're eating something without disclosing it. Which sounds so terrible, right? Like without saying, Hey, Mom, I want Hey, Dad, I want to have this apple. So are you sneaking it? I guess it just that it's a tough? Yeah, eating without your eating without bolusing. But then I think there is a category for you actually are sneaking the food, hiding it because you've you've learned and you're hiding and you've learned and you feel like you weren't supposed to eat it. So you're going to hide it hide it

Scott Benner 12:36
you for a moment, if we take a side shoot here for a second, if we take diabetes out of this for a second. People sneak food, right?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 12:44
Absolutely. I mean, particularly if like, let's say you're on a diet, you will say oh, I'm not supposed to have this, I'm gonna sneak this in into my diet, or as a kid who knows that they can have maybe one treat a day. But then they find, you know, some old Halloween candy in a cupboard. They might sneak it because then they feel like it's it's like forbidden. It's not allowed.

Scott Benner 13:07
What about adults that hide food from family members and co workers and stuff like that? Are we really just replacing the acceleration of blood sugar with the acceleration of of weight? And so all the rest of it's the same. It's the it's just the thing that you're trying to hide is different. Does that make sense? Well, yes,

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 13:27
yes. And I think then you ask the question, Well, why is that person hiding? whatever they're doing? Yeah, because they have developed this kind of shameful pattern thinking that, like, I'm bad. I'm not supposed to do this. So I don't want anyone else to see it. And so I just, I need to hide and do this. before. It's sad. You know, it's It is sad.

Scott Benner 13:47
I have one more question before I go to my next. My next question, which is okay. In a person's psyche. Is it possible to hide something from yourself?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 13:58
Interesting, is it? Well, you can think that you're hiding it from yourself, right? by either mind mindlessly doing something, right. Like if we're staying on the topic of sneaking food, and you're thinking in through the lens of also diabetes, like, Okay, I'm going to pretend like I'm not eating this. I'm thinking about, like, let's say you have a piece of pie, or a whole pie. And people just say I'm just, I'm just cleaning off the edges, right? Like, you think that you're not really having a piece of pie because you're just having a little bite, but then by the time you go back and do that 20 times you've had the piece of pie. Yeah, I think they're, you're kind of like trying to pretend and not trying to sneak or hide it from yourself, but

Unknown Speaker 14:43
kind of make it like you're not

Scott Benner 14:44
really eating it. Does that make sense? It's excuses. That's like it. Yeah. So there's a thing when I'm when I'm eating lower carb for myself, I get a sweet tooth. I try to have a little dark chocolate. Right. And that works great for me. But it's a little bit of dark. If there's a time where I started seeing myself having the dark chocolate too frequently throughout the day, like Normally, it would just be once there is there's a part of me that's like, Oh, I just used the dark chocolate too. But there's the, the rational part of me is like, you're about to break this diet you're on. And this is the way you're getting into it. Like, I can feel it happening. And I'm intellectually I understand it's happening. But I am able to lie to myself for sometimes a day or two, before I go, Oh, come on, you know what you're doing. And put a stop to it. It's just, it's really I mean, you're not lying. You can't lie to yourself, right? Like, you can't, you can't punch a hole through a wall and tell yourself, you're picking flowers. But you but you, you can say, It's okay, if I punch this hole on the wall, I'm giving myself permission to do it. I know it's wrong, generally speaking, but I'm not going to punish myself over this right now. And and I wonder if that because because like, with so many things with diabetes, sometimes we look so hard at the type one, or the diabetes in general, that we forget that, like, people who don't have diabetes go through the same thing. It's like exactly what I mean, like the that's where the idea of real people set comes from, because people, right, because people with diabetes, tried to blame everything on their diabetes. And sometimes you just, you know, there's a difference between sneaking food because you don't want somebody to see because of a blood sugar thing, etc. Because it's become verboten somehow in your life. And maybe just the fact that you're just sneaking food for other reasons. And I just wanted to be clear about that. So then, here's the next heartbreaking part of this, especially when it's a child. Someone will say, I, I've been working on this for years, I figured out there, basil. I know how to Bolus for anything asked me I can Bolus for anything. I figured it out so that they can be healthy. It's not hard. It is not difficult to do we do it every time. Why would they sneak food and cause themselves a problem? When it's not even necessary, when we're so good at this, that it wouldn't be a problem to eat whatever thing it is they're thinking of. And that part for me is particularly interesting. Because I just I'm gonna tell you the 20 minutes before I came up here, Arden and I intersected in the kitchen. And she's hungry, but she didn't know for what she's like, I don't know what I want. And she's kind of there's nothing in the house like that whole dance. Like you're like, Well, what about you name nine things now? Like no, right?

Unknown Speaker 17:30
Yeah.

Scott Benner 17:32
And so then I was like, you just want a bowl of cereal. And she said, I don't have time to eat that. And I was like, What do you mean? I said, Sure you do just Bolus and we'll we'll do it. No, there's I don't want to wait. I don't want to wait for the Pre-Bolus She told me. So I was able to say Don't worry, we won't wait for the Pre-Bolus will over Bolus it. But I know how to handle not Pre-Bolus even even for something like vicious like cereal, right. And so I know how to over Bolus that meal, so won't cause a big problem. And even if it gets out of whack a little bit, we'll I'll knock it back down and show it or show Bolus again or however, you know, whoever intersects with first. But why would a kid knowing that you are proficient at diabetes? avoid something still, like that, to me is the thing that I watch parents, they can't make any sense of it, especially after they've put so much time and love and effort into figuring it out.

Unknown Speaker 18:31
Mm hmm. What do you think?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 18:33
I think it's Yeah, it's a very common question and concern and struggle really because I would look at I would want to know, it's hard to kind of give blanket say without like, choosing an age because I would say Are they they had an age of trying to demonstrate some independence or control over their life and is this one way of them feeling like hey, I can eat this on my own without anyone telling me what to do or how to Bolus or you know, feeling like is it that is it the wanting to have some control over their own life and decision without consultation? Is it is it wanting to maybe be like their peers if it's in a peer group situation and they're all quickly deciding to go eat whatever it is hamburgers or ice cream? And they just don't want to deal with it? Are they Is it is it I want to I don't want to be different I want to be like appear. Or maybe going back to the basics of you know, when this worked for one family where they went shopping with their child to the grocery store, and they said pick out everything you'd ever want to eat, you know, from all the aisles, whatever, no judgement, nothing. And just really kind of demonstrating to this this exercise helped for the family and for the child. The See, look, you can eat anything, I mean, Grant grant it within the guidance of maybe the family's expectations of eating or protein, vegetable and car, or whatever, whatever they're well about nutrition looks like. But to say you can also you can eat the Oreos, you can eat the Doritos, whatever you want, whatever kind of, quote, junk food or food that you think we don't approve of, you get it, buy it, let's fill up our cart, and take it home. And let's lay it on the counter. And you just get all we need to know is, you know, before you want it, let's Pre-Bolus or whatever, whatever the decision that works or to do what you're you're able to do with Arden. And so really kind of going through that exercise of allowing the child to see to feel to have control over picking what their favorite snacks are at the grocery store, and giving giving them some control of their life in that way. I guess. Yeah, I'm saying, and that bleeds

Scott Benner 20:53
into everything, right? Like, you know, what you're making me realize, like, You're making me think of something. So when I was growing up, there was a public school and a private Catholic school, kind of in the neighborhood. And as you got older, this thing would happen when the Catholic school girls would graduate, they'd all cut their hair, it was the strangest thing, right? Or they would start dressing completely different. Or in some cases, like having a lot of sex that they didn't have in high school, like they they made, like, big changes to their life. And I always felt like that was because they had grown up. So I kind of controlled, and I carried that remembrance into my parenting. And, and I did, I didn't give my kids like, you know, drugs when they were 10 and stuff like that. But but I tried to let my kids have a lot of agency over themselves, and to make as many decisions as they could on their own. And I'll tell you, it's a pain in the ass. Sometimes when you're raising kids, and you give them a lot of input, because there are times where you're just like, Alright, well, let's go figure out what the seven year old wants. Now, you know what I mean? And you're like, and you just need to go where you need to get something done. But it ended up paying off long term. Because my children do not feel like they're being controlled by us as much as they could. And trust me, they still do because they're young people. And you're always gonna feel like there's something to break away from. But is this another place where we're conflating diabetes with just being alive? Is what made me wonder when you were discussing it, like, I get the I get the Pierce thing, we're all out, we're gonna stop somewhere real quick, I don't have time to Bolus for it, or to count the fat in it, and then do an Bolus for the fat like, you know, you're 14 trying to decide how much fats in french fries, you know, like that kind of stuff? Like, hold on a second, there's a simple equation my mom taught me. Oh, my God, let's go over that while we're joy riding. You know what I mean? I understand that I understand. But I do also understand just the idea of wanting some sort of control over your life. And I'm wondering if you're able to hand that control to them in other places? Would it lessen their desire to find that control in this?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 23:17
Absolutely. And I think yeah, that's, I think we, we've talked a little bit about that. In our we talked about teens. I know, we'll probably talk about that as well later. But I think, yes, giving them finding the opportunities and the kind of Windows where you feel like you can hand over that control instead of micromanaging every aspect of your child's life and gret. And obviously, this changes over time and developmentally what they you feel like your child can handle and demonstrate that responsibility? But yes, I think giving them some other opportunities to say, okay, you can decide whether you want to wear your pink sweater or your blue sweater, you know, just like building that in letting them have those decisions in their lives where it doesn't really matter, I think will help in the long run. Yeah.

Scott Benner 24:04
So from a caregiver perspective, I, my two questions are, how do they approach this problem and address it? And what could I be looking in to myself for that would get in the way of me handling this? Well? Because I feel like that, like why would they do this, to me, is a vibe I get from parents sometimes, like I put all this into this, why is this being like, why are they doing it? And you need to understand like, your kids are not doing anything to you. Like it's not an attack, but it feels like it. You know what I mean? And I think sometimes it feels like it more to some people than others. And I would imagine that has something to do with their problems growing up. But those are my two questions that I'm interested in what you think about the rest of it?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 24:47
Yes. Okay. So how how to kind of move how to address the issue. You've seen your child, Snake food just based on either evidence of the blood sugars or you've caught them in the act so to speak. Or they've shared with you later, I think the first and foremost, I would always want to, if your child does come out and say, Well, yeah, you know, I did eat this two hours ago, to immediately go to just being grateful and thankful that they were being honest, as opposed to kind of going down the pathway of punitive. Because I think when we Google grant, we don't want to punish, at least from my perspective, personally, and then from my experience, collectively, professionally, working with families, children, if they are punished for making bad choices, or high blood sugars, that is going to spiral into the shame and avoidance and sneaking further, but saying, gosh, thank you so much for for sharing this with me. Let's How can we and having a dialogue, even if they're five years old, or two, or even three, I mean, granite younger than that might be challenging. But let's say 345 10, whatever age your child is, even up into teenagers, like how can we avoid this wetter and asking them like, are there? Are there foods that you feel like mommy or daddy or whoever's your caregiver doesn't allow you to eat? Because they might make a list of things that you have never, like we talked about in the beginning, you have maybe never have said you cannot eat these foods. But somehow they have learned that from yet externally public shame or questioning or from your response that you weren't aware of when you saw the number. And so asking them, are there things you feel like we can't You can't eat in this house? Right? I would start there. And then I would also go to, okay. What if they're a little bit older? If they are able to break it down? Like, were you thinking anything before or was I not around, and without assuming that they were sneaking to, maybe you were on a phone call, maybe you're busy, maybe they were just really hungry, and just were like, I need to eat this food right now. They get you know, they can be impulsive.

Scott Benner 27:10
I have a note here right to myself to remind my to say at the end of this, that to be careful not to blame people if you're not 100% certain to because you could actually cause the problem. And you're just saying like, what if I just got so hungry, and I'm four years old, that's not sneaking food. It's right, I'm hungry. Yeah. You also made me remember that this might be a little too much. But um, when I was growing up, when I was 13, my father left my mom. And my brothers were five years younger than me, and five years younger again. So I'm 13, that makes my middle brother eight, and my youngest brother three. And my mom goes off to work to try to make up the difference. And I'm basically raising these two little kids after school. Now, I'm 13. Trust me, I did not know what I was doing. And you know it now in present time, I'll joke with my brothers all the time. And thank them, because I really got a lot of my bad ideas out on them. And really saved my as a

Unknown Speaker 28:09
child parent,

Scott Benner 28:10
is it Yeah, as a 13 year old parent, teaching myself to drive and take care of a three year old and stuff. But nevertheless, I saw that with my younger brother, I didn't know what to do. And punitive was the way any bad thing was addressed. Because it's all I could think of. And I will tell you that that was tough for him. And all it would do is cause him to hide things. Like we used to have this joke like Rob's either in trouble, and you're aware of it, or getting in trouble and you haven't found out yet. And and as we joked about that, and that rang in my head while you were talking, it really made me realize that all he was doing like, I didn't curb his behavior. He just hit it better. And that's not a resolution for him or me. He's okay, right now, for anybody who's listening. He's Yeah, he's not jail or anything like that. But that is, that's what you were making me think of when you were saying that. I don't know why I said that. But it felt like Yes, yeah.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 29:11
Because you think you know, as a four year old who's coming home from preschool and needs a snack, they and they know where the snack buck bin is, or whatever, and they eat and that's it, you know, the child doesn't have type one, then you're not going to say well, how could How dare you go and get a bag of pretzels without telling mom? Yeah, I'm assuming mom, baby as we know, it could be dad or whoever is in the home. But I so I think we have to remind ourselves like okay, how would I yes, he has type one and I want to prevent the highs and I'm fearful of long term complications, because I think that's the sequencing. You know, your thought pattern, is that right? Or at least from what I've been told, and so going back to like, Okay, he's four, he's hungry. How can we How can we address this next time? Is it like, okay, like, and maybe going back to like, why as your second question is, okay, why the parent has clearly has solid competence and confidence and Bolus and for any food. And you've told your child time and time again that they can eat anything. And reminding them that we just need to Bolus beforehand whatever the timeframe is. And okay, so why is the child doing it couldn't be all of those factors. And now it's a you had all those conversations you've eliminated, okay, the child knows he can eat anything the child knows, he just needs to tell the parent that he wants to eat something. And yet he's still doing it, I think I would then look at Okay, how often is that happening? Is it is it a one off experience, because you know, just like, as caregivers, we are going to make mistakes, we are going to, we're not going to Bolus enough, we're not going to Pre-Bolus in enough time. And we have to practice that grace and forgiveness towards ourselves. We can offer we can model that for our children, and seeking from like a caregiver lens. And then we can also offer that to our children, because they're going to make mistakes. Now, if visit isn't happening every day, then I would go to my first two points of Okay, the child must feel like he can't have it. Or maybe he's just hungry, and we need to figure that out. But if it's a one off occasion, then I would just say you know what? We need to you know, offer that grace and forgiveness and you correct and move on.

Scott Benner 31:41
Right? Hey, and if it happens over and over again, as a parent as the adult, do you at some point have to look at yourself and say, there must be some way I'm impacting this, it's causing this behavior to some degree.

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 31:54
I think that would be a helpful first or second step. Yes. If you've asked all the questions and say, Okay, how am I? What kind of messaging Am I giving whether explicitly or implicitly whether it's my facial expression, or noise, like you're looking at the if it's CGM, or meter, and you're like, right, like these simple things aren't, you know, toddlers can pick up on those noises and those size and even your body language, right? And so maybe kind of checking in with yourself is what is your your kind of gut response when you're looking at the numbers? Yeah,

Scott Benner 32:30
so you and I haven't recorded together that much at this point. But I have learned one thing about you that I can't ask you to make a blanket statement because you won't do it. And but I do want to ask you because I want to close out this episode, but I want to just do one thing. How much of an adult's actions are they unaware of? Like, how many times do we do something for what we think is one reason, but really, it's not for that reason? Is it frequently throughout the day?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 32:58
even as a child, how much are they aware of no idea

Scott Benner 33:01
as an adult person who thinks that we're control of what we're doing? Like? How many how many times? Are our actions driven by something that we don't understand?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 33:12
Wow, yeah, that's a whole nother episode. I don't know. I think it depends on how self aware are you?

I mean, have you done the work in learning what your your thought patterns are? And how your thoughts affect your feelings? which affect your actions?

Scott Benner 33:28
Let's say no. Right?

Erika Forsyth, MFT, LMFT 33:28
Like that. That's all connected? Yeah. Let's Oh, no, then yeah, you probably don't have a whole lot of self awareness. And so everything from you're raising your eyebrows, very subtle things that others can pick up on, you know, eyebrow raises size hands, like you haven't said a word and you've communicated a lot. Yeah. And so I think if you're not aware of, of your thought patterns, which connect to your actions, and also your feelings, then you probably are, you're communicating a whole lot more than you might even you are aware of.

Scott Benner 34:02
Okay, and I want to add to that, thank you. I want to add to that, that it takes longer to fix than you think it would, because I've been absolutely I've been battling with this for a decade and a half now. And I'm much better today than I was. But at the beginning, anything that went wrong with diabetes, I was like, like it, like I just edit. And it just felt like it felt like you were trying to conquer something and you were falling off of it all the time. And I never had any intention of mirroring that to anybody in my life, but I did the people around me were like, Oh, my God, he's upset. And so I never felt upset. I just felt like God dammit. Like those little micro things. So anyway, I just wanted to make sure to put that in there. Thank you very much.

Unknown Speaker 34:40
This was wonderful. He welcome. Thank you.

Scott Benner 34:52
I want to thank Eric again, and remind you that if you live in California and are looking for a therapist, go to Erica Forsythe Calm, there's links in your show notes. If you're looking for the diabetes pro tip episodes, they begin at Episode 210 in your podcast player, or you can find them at diabetes pro tip.com or at Juicebox Podcast comm if you're just finding the show and getting started with management ideas, I really think you should begin with the defining diabetes series, which is also available diabetes pro tip comm or in your podcast player. And if you're listening in a podcast player right now you haven't subscribed or followed the show, please do. If you're enjoying the show, please share it with others. If you'd like to find some good conversation about type one diabetes, I suggest you check out the private Facebook group for the show Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes, answer a couple of quick questions to make sure you're a real person and you'll be let right then and there you will find GS over 10,000 listeners just like you talking about type one diabetes. I'm going to remind you again to go to T one d exchange.org. forward slash juice box and fill out that survey just takes a couple of quick minutes. If you're a type one yourself, or the caregiver of a type one, as a US resident, you'd really be helping other type ones and the show if you took the time to fill it out. And I thank you very much for considering that. This episode did not have any ads today. But I still want to thank the sponsors the Dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor the Contour Next One blood glucose meter, the Omni pod tubeless insulin pump, g Volk hypo pen and touched by type one.org. There are links everywhere to all the sponsors. And all I ask is that if you're looking for a great CGM, an accurate meter, a tubeless insulin pump for some really cool glucagon use my legs and of course, touched by type one is it touched by type one.org. They're also on Instagram and Facebook. I hope you go find them and check out what they're doing. Because what they're doing is wonderful. So if you're considering getting a Dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor, please use the link in the show notes or type in dexcom.com Ford slash juice box hey you know you may be eligible for a free 30 day trial of the Omni pod dash tubeless insulin pump on the pod comm forward slash juice box Arden uses the Contour Next One blood glucose meter and I find it to be the most accurate and easy to use blood glucose meter she has ever had. Contour Next one.com forward slash juice box find out about the G vo Kibo pen the glucagon that my daughter carries g vo glucagon comm forward slash juice box. I want to thank you again for listening to the show for making it the most popular type one diabetes podcast around and for sharing it with others because that is truly how it grows. There are days and today is one of them where I wish I could give you everything that I have recorded right now. Because there's so much good stuff coming. I feel weird, not just releasing at all but things don't work that way. And if I did that you'd never find it. So come on back next week, where there'll be three new episodes of the Juicebox Podcast just like every week. We'll see what we can find that fits your needs. I hope you know how much I enjoyed making this podcast for you. I'll talk to you soon.