#494 Monkeys Eyebrow

June 18, 2021Scott Benner

Phoebe is an adult living with type 1 diabetes and she is an open book.

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:12
Hello friends and welcome to Episode 494 of the Juicebox Podcast on today's show, Phoebe. That's it. I just liked Phoebe. I really enjoyed talking to her. I think you're going to enjoy listening to her. isn't that easy? Simple. Phoebe's a type one. She's had diabetes for a while. It's moved to all over the country. Her dad is super interesting. Please listen to this episode. While you're listening, please remember that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, always consult a physician before making any changes to your healthcare plan, or becoming bold with insulin.

This episode came within a hair's breadth of being called possum trot. Anyway, smelly cat was also in there but for reasons that will not be evident while you're listening to most of you. Nevertheless, this is Phoebe.

This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored by the Contour Next One blood glucose meter, please, please go to Contour Next one.com Ford slash juice box. It is the most comprehensive website about the Contour Next One that you'll ever find. I mean, that seems obvious. But seriously, there's a ton of stuff there. The meter is incredibly accurate, rather affordable, and it has Second Chance test strips, it's worth your time to look into Contour Next one.com forward slash juice box. The episode is also sponsored by the Omni pod tubeless insulin pump. Summer is here people it is time to swim and frolic and you'd love to do it with an omni pod Trust me. It is tubeless it does not encumber you while you're doing such things and you do not have to disconnect to go into water. That's a big deal. a really, really big deal. You may be eligible for a free 30 day trial of the Omni pod dash. Find out on the pod.com forward slash juice box.

Phoebe 2:33
Hi, my name is Phoebe. I live in Livermore, California. It's a town maybe about an hour east of San Francisco. But I'm from the east coast. So it's weird being in California for me still. And I have been a type one diabetic for Oh, God got to do math. 2727 years.

Scott Benner 2:57
Why did you pick this time? If you're from California, it's so early in the because

Phoebe 3:01
Friday, I have Friday's off. And I also use Friday as chore day. So by the time we're done, all of the grocery stores will be starting to open and I can go before everyone else goes.

Scott Benner 3:12
Wait a minute. How are you? Why are you so well planned out?

Unknown Speaker 3:16
I believe my husband, I'm 30 where you bleep?

Scott Benner 3:19
Does he hit you if you don't have groceries?

Unknown Speaker 3:21
No, no.

Scott Benner 3:23
Can he hear this? she just looked over her shoulder. She just looked over. Make a sign if she needs me to call 911 No, no, no, seriously,

Phoebe 3:34
I um, when we first when we first moved in together and we went grocery shopping together we would go like the second the grocery store opens were like in the grocery store. And I've just gotten used to that. And now when I go to the grocery store when there's you know a million people I'm like, Oh, so you Reno's grocery store at a kit. Why it Why am I dealing with people in a parking lot?

Scott Benner 4:00
This is the worst TV telling me that you have rules that are so specific around grocery store shopping that if you don't show up when no one's there. It ruins the experience for you.

Phoebe 4:10
It does now Actually, yes, I used to not care but my bandwidth for dealing with other people in a grocery store just significantly decreased. So time. No, I've been I've been up I've already started laundry. Instead of doing a podcast, I would probably have cleaned all the bathrooms Fridays are my chore days. And yeah, by the time I would get home, the only thing would be left is fold laundry and mop the fullness.

Scott Benner 4:41
That's hilarious. Let me see something here. I was gonna say I'm a little hung up here. I was gonna say that. When I talk to people on the phone. I can't sit down and do it. So I'm a huge proponent of cleaning toilets while while I'm on the phone, so I I find myself saying a lot. Hey, I'm about to flush the toilet that I have to explain that I enjoy. But by the way, enjoy cleaning toilets while I'm on the phone is an incorrect statement. I just feel like it's a good use of time that would otherwise be a better

Phoebe 5:15
use of time when, when I'm on like a conference call that I don't have to be at a very active member. That's usually when I'll like sweep the floors do the kitty litter stuff like that.

Scott Benner 5:29
I hear you. Okay, so I guess I want to understand how you got to California from the east coast.

Phoebe 5:35
Oh, gosh. So Well, let me back it up to when I graduated from college. Since graduating college, I've lived in Baton Rouge, Kentucky, North Carolina, New Jersey. The Philly area, Alexandria, Virginia and now California. Because God, you're right, a lot of a lot of it was job related. Okay, so I got my first job in a chemical plant in Baton Rouge. And then the project that they hired a lot of people for was canceled or they had to basically scratch it so then they transferred a bunch of us new hires throughout the company and that's how I ended up in Kentucky as a uranium tetrafluoride production engineer. And then

Scott Benner 6:36
what I What Are You Smarter something Phoebe What's going on here? I never know who I'm getting on this podcast. What do you know that other people don't know?

Phoebe 6:43
A lot. I'm so I'm a chemical engineer through my college degree. And currently, I'm a safety engineer at a national lab. And between the end and now I've had all different kinds of manufacturing jobs. But being in the middle of nowhere Kentucky, just as a not married 22 year old was like the worst thing you could be you know, the prospects out there, whereas Well, well at least he has all his tea.

Scott Benner 7:20
Hey, people listen to this that this podcast and Kentucky Phoebe.

Phoebe 7:23
You're killing my people from Paducah. She between possum trot and monkeys eyebrow, but you didn't know that. Wait a minute. Did you make that up? Those are real towns. My husband has a shirt that says a welcome to possum trot, Kentucky.

Scott Benner 7:39
I have to tell everybody listening from Kentucky right now that if that's actually true, and I think I have no reason to doubt Phoebe, then her snarkiness earlier is reasonable. And I don't think we can hold her account, I

Phoebe 7:50
promise. It's true. It's not like I was in Louisville or Lexington or you know, one of the populous areas. Like the nearest target was an hour away. That's

Scott Benner 8:02
a very rural place by yourself when you're 22. Yeah, exactly. Good job, or was it just you needed to start somewhere with the idea of

Phoebe 8:10
kind of I needed to start somewhere because when I got transferred, I was only six months into my career and quitting at that point would be, it would be harder to start up. So I was like, Alright, I'll go here. I'll work until you know, my contract is so I don't have to pay back relocation. And then I'll just find something else. And then that's what I did. And I was in a rotational program for

Scott Benner 8:33
Hi. She's killing a cat while we're talking. What are you doing to that workout? Oh, he says no. He knows when he wants attention. Okay. I do something similar.

Phoebe 8:45
Yeah. No, if he literally will forget where Andrew and I are when we go to bed. And I just realized that it's really dark in my room and heal me out from downstairs and we have to essentially invite him upstairs into the bedroom. So he can, you know, come snuggle.

Scott Benner 9:06
Alright, so give me a second here. So you're, I understand taking a job anywhere when you start off, but the part that throws me off a little bit as being by yourself and because I imagine I'm imagining maybe I'm wrong, that you work all day, and then there's not a lot to do you don't know anybody and you're not near anything. Is that how you're that's? Yeah,

Phoebe 9:24
that's pretty much what Kentucky was. I actually started dating Andrew when I was in Kentucky. He was a groomsmen and I was a bridesmaid at our close friends from college wedding. And so I met him and told off my ex at that same wedding and like, I knew when I saw injury I was like, Huh, all right.

Scott Benner 9:52
Target acquired, saw Andrew and thought he's better than the one I have.

Phoebe 10:00
And yeah, I saw Andrew flirted very heavily. And then that jaw at that job. We had a four day weekend for Labor Day. And we had been texting each other because he was in New York getting his PhD, and I was in Kentucky, just wasting away. And, you know, we've been texting and I was like, Hey, I have a four day weekend. For Labor Day. What should I do? And I think he jokingly was like, Oh, you should come to Buffalo. And I was like, I could come to Buffalo and then like, 10 seconds later, I purchased a plane ticket. And

Scott Benner 10:35
Phoebe went to Buffalo. That's amazing. Are you unstable? Or no, he just freeze. No.

Phoebe 10:42
He's, he's a good. He's one of the best friends of one of my best friends from college. So she has good taste. So I have to tell you, he wasn't like a weirdo.

Scott Benner 10:52
For people in Kentucky. It does not bode well that buffalo was the place she escaped to. Getting his PhD. He's smart. So that's nice. We're gonna have a little tiny smart babies one day.

Unknown Speaker 11:03
I hope so. Yeah. Wouldn't it be crazy if they were kind of dumb to what you were just like, that's like,

Phoebe 11:09
other than them getting type one diabetes, then being like, dumb, or their favorite subject being English is like my worst nightmare.

Scott Benner 11:19
I had a conversation yesterday with a couple and I don't do a lot of three ways. I don't do a lot of three way recordings. But this was fun. And they were both very late. They had very, you know, kind of specific, like, traits and hobbies and things. And I like to think the whole time I was talking to them as their kids gonna want to play football, and they're just gonna sit there.

Phoebe 11:42
I hope if I have a son, he doesn't want to play football. Soccer is fine. But football with all those head injuries just freaks me out. Oh,

Scott Benner 11:49
I didn't even meet the head injuries. These people were just the furthest thing from sporting enthusiasts that you were ever going to meet. And I thought Imagine if they had to sit on a field for 15 years. Probably.

Phoebe 11:59
We'd love it. Okay, we're both Penn Staters. So I mean, we have a wall dedicated to like, football stadium, the football stadium panoramas in our home. So

Scott Benner 12:14
so this is this is what we need to get to from your email. She's gonna show me Yeah, well, this is the exact witness the dartboard Yeah, from somebody who went to Penn State now. I was so when, when when Phoebe sends me an email. She just says kind of like, you know, I was in college, I did this like Dance Marathon to raise money for cancer. And I was like, immediately being from the northeast, I thought Phoebe went to Penn State, because well, especially since you're in Jersey, I'm sure you've either seen the cameras or have almost hit one with your car. I have grown up around a bunch of Penn State students standing on corners collecting nickels and dimes for a very large portion of my life. And I know about somehow I tangentially understand that there's this dance marathon to raise money for cancer. But mostly what I know about people from Penn State art is that they, they are just shy of being cult members. Because why do you all love it so much?

Phoebe 13:14
Um, so you know, people are like, well, it's such a big school, aren't you? Just a number. And honestly, the way I went through it is, you make it you make the school as big or as small as you want it to be. And by the time I was a senior, like, you know, I was, I was knee deep in my engineering classes I was involved with on I was involved with homecoming, I was in a sorority, I was in another club, and there's just, there's so much to do. And of course, you know, football is just fun. And at that time, you're 18 to 22 years old, you have absolutely no responsibilities compared to being you know, a real life adult. And, you know, when you're when your biggest responsibility is making sure that you study for a test with your other engineering friends, it's just, no, it was, it was probably one of the funnest four years of my life. And

Scott Benner 14:16
football was a big part of that. I have never met a person who went to Penn State who didn't absolutely adore it. Just Yeah,

Phoebe 14:23
it was And plus, you know, I mean, not to, you know, totally miss out on like, the academic part like Penn State engineering is a top engineering school. It's cool. Like it it's, it's a, you know, and plus, the good thing too is they tell you this statistic when you're going through it, one in one every 100 working professionals is a Penn Stater. So, um, you know, eventually we'll meet maybe maybe a hiring manager is a former Penn Stater and boom connected click

Scott Benner 15:00
And then then you do the secret handshake that only you from Penn State and the devil knows. And then next thing you know, yeah, so you've got she's making. Maybe they're saying, alright, let's not mess with these people just in case they really are called and I don't want them coming after me. But anyway, she's like, no, we're not which is exactly what they would train you to say by the way VB true. No kool aid is delicious, by the way. So you're diagnosed at what age?

Phoebe 15:29
I was going into my third birthday, actually had to ask my parents about my diagnosis story because I didn't really know it. Okay, so, um, I first asked my mom, and she was like, we were shopping for your third birthday cake. And oh, backstory, my mom is a nurse and my dad is a surgeon. Okay, so medical, strong medical background for both of these people.

Scott Benner 15:51
Before you start, were they shopping early in the morning before anybody else was there for your birthday cake?

Phoebe 15:58
I think so. Honestly. It was in the morning. find that out. Send me an email. We'll do okay. Um, so, you know, my mom was like, you were very specific. You wanted the mermaid cake. And as we were, as we were shopping, sorry, I need some water real quick. You're fine. There we go. Um, as we were shopping, I go, Mama. I'm thirsty. She was like, Okay, well, it's may it's warm out, have a juice box. And then I go, Mama. I'm still thirsty. And she's like, wow, you're really drinking this really fast. Are you okay?

Unknown Speaker 16:31
They go. Yeah, my mouth feels like cotton. She's like cotton.

Phoebe 16:36
That what the hell. And so she was already on alert, because that's just a weird thing for two, almost three year old to say, yeah. And then she's talking to my dad later that night. And she was like hay fever has been acting kind of weird. She's been going to the bathroom a lot. And she told me her mouth felt like caught and my dad was like, Oh, that's really odd. Well, let's keep our eye on her for the next couple of days. And I think the next day is a weekend. But my dad had to do some rounds at the hospital. And he brought me with him and I would toggle after him. And apparently all the nurses loved it. And before we go, I'm like Papa, I have to pee. And he's like, Oh, you won't go pee. And then when we get to the hospital, not even a 15 minute driveway, pop, I have to pee again. Okay, think takes me to the bathroom. And he's only gone in his own. What's only there for like an hour and I'm like, pop I have to pee again. He's like, Okay, how let's and he takes me to the emergency room and finds me an empty bed. He's like, sit up here feed. And let's test your blood sugar. And it was like, 420 He's like,

Unknown Speaker 17:39
dammit. So.

Phoebe 17:44
Yeah, so I think between the time my parents noticed I had symptoms. And when they actually confirmed the diagnosis, it was less than 48 hours. Yeah. And I actually have the half brother, who's 20 years. Wait now 30 years older than me. 30 No.

Scott Benner 18:05
That seems unreal. Yeah. It's not No. Brother. Yeah, I your dad's 114.

Phoebe 18:15
Papa guys. Oh, gosh, he was 60 when I turned 21. So he's 69? Yes, yeah. 70 8080 to 90. Yeah. So David was born in 70. And he has type one diabetes.

Scott Benner 18:29
Okay, hold on. And we're related through dad. Yeah, I was gonna say slow down a second here. Sorry. I'm excited and nervous. You're excited and nervous? Yes. Are you seriously? Well, that every one of you Who says that? If my wife could hear she would smack you on the head for being nervous to be near me. Okay, but, but wait, I need to understand. Not that I think it has anything to do with anything, but maybe it does. You're 30 now? Yes. You literally have a half brother who is 69 years old? No. My dad is 60 to 69 years old. So your dad had your half brother when he was nine. Dad is a sexual prodigy.

Phoebe 19:10
I did math wrong. Sorry, David. David is 50. Okay. And then I think Tara is about to turn terrorismo half sister may start over. My dad has been married three times. And he has had kids in each of those relationships. from his first marriage was David David is the other type one diabetic in the family got it. From his second marriage came Tara than Levi. And then from his third marriage came came me. Okay, so I'm, I have siblings, but I would say I grew up an only child.

Scott Benner 19:45
I hear that. Does your dad have any children from his fourth or fifth marriage? No, no, not from his fourth. He's recently remarried. Gotcha. He's your dad like the Ganga is Khan of doctors. I see just oh man. I don't know if I want my dad to listen to this or not just like is he get up every morning and just kind of crack his fingers and go, Hmm, is it gonna be? I'm gonna spread some seed today, baby. No idea. I gotcha. Okay. All right, by the way, I was joking. And then when he told me he was married again, I was like, Damn, I'm intuitive. Although intuitive, yep. debate. So that's got a ton of energy. Yeah, he got no money. I'm betting

Unknown Speaker 20:36
he's doing okay, quite fun.

Phoebe 20:39
middle of nowhere, Maine and his house is on the bay. And I get jealous every time I see pictures, and he watched her fishes for himself. And, yeah, make sure they don't get pregnant. God is just a, he's the most like eclectic man. I've known and until I'm met my husband. He was like the smartest man I've ever known. So it's interesting.

Scott Benner 21:03
That's really kinda interesting. Okay, so you have an older half brother, who also has type one.

Phoebe 21:07
So you guys know step 15. And according to my dad, his symptoms were much slower onset than mine. Like it took them a while to figure out David was a diabetic, but for me, it was like,

Scott Benner 21:25
right away. Well, he had also seen that before I'm imagining unless he was true. Yeah. That's interesting. He so he's the thread between the diabetes your father. Gotcha. Yeah. Your dad can get anybody pregnant and make a baby with Type One Diabetes. He's like a super cool Blake. To two out of four kids, right? That's he's batting 500 Yeah, I really I know he's older. But I'd like to see him knock up two more ladies to see what happens.

Phoebe 21:52
My dad kinda looks like the most interesting man in the world, is how I would but paler.

Scott Benner 22:00
So you imagine the most interesting man with a with a darker sheen?

Phoebe 22:07
Like the you know, the original dos techies, man? Yes. He was very tan my dad,

Scott Benner 22:11
literally. Oh, I say I got you. Alright, that's who my dad was. You weren't just being there was no hyperbole there. You were literally

Unknown Speaker 22:20
making a real reference reference. Gotcha. Yeah,

Scott Benner 22:23
I gotta stop using so many big words that people are gonna figure out I know more than I said. Let's get back to me saying great. And wow. All right now, okay. I'm not much smarter than I purport to be on the podcast by the meaning they're fine. Okay, so you are diagnosed at three? What was it like growing up with type one that was 27 years ago, and I can do math reasonably well. That was like, 1997 9393. Yeah, I transposed the seven and a three and my backwards math. Okay. 1993. Fair enough. Yep. I, by the way, in 1993, I was 24 years old. So you seem very young to me. And, and so what was it like growing up?

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Phoebe 27:16
I don't remember growing up with any other type one diabetics. And it was actually quite hard in the early years because my parents divorced shortly after my diagnosis or the same year of my diagnosis.

Scott Benner 27:30
Well, he's on a schedule. He can't you guys, he just had to keep moving. I guess. Yeah, go ahead. I'm sorry.

Phoebe 27:39
But um, so my, my mom and I moved to Atlanta. And the reason I moved back in with my dad is apparently my daycare didn't handle my diabetes. Well, they would administer insulin, but they wouldn't draw it up. So every day during lunch, my mom had to sit three year old Phoebe on the phone, and had me count the lines that I could see. And eventually she, what that's arbitrary. So weird, right? Yeah. So, you know, and she's a nurse, so it's not, and she was a nurse, and now a single mother. So it's not like she could just,

Unknown Speaker 28:26
you know,

Phoebe 28:27
be at home with me to take care of me. So she was just like, I guess she called my dad was like, Oh, and I, it This isn't working. She needs to come be with you or there's more resources and because, you know, my dad was a essentially like a big fish in a small pond kind of thing. And, you know, with him being orthopedic surgeon, he's operated on everyone's mom, Grandma, blah, blah, blah. And I had already had an established nanny at that up there. So I moved back in with my dad. And from what what I can remember, you know, there were definitely no other type ones. Um, and my dad was very adamant that I learned how to do everything I needed to do without the help of an adult. So by the time I could do long division, he was having to calculate my my dosages. You know, it was it was hard at first because I was on mph and regular right back in the day and that just sorry, I just remembered a funny story. So with mph and regular. We've talked we've talked about this before, we have to be on very specific eating schedule. And I was the pickiest eater, in the whole world, like the juice on my food could not touch on the plate. If it did, I wouldn't need it. Okay. And I had learned That if I just hold out long enough, Dad will panic and feed me whatever I want. So, one day it backfired. And it was time to get ready for school. And he poured me some cereal. And I took a bite and I was like, Daddy, I don't like this. And he just he was like, dammit, Phoebe, I am not doing it this morning, you are going to eat your cereal and you are going to go to school. So I eat the cereal. I'm crying. I'm like, Daddy, it tastes bad. And turns out, go to school. Everything's fine. Come home. Dad's like, Alright, we need to go to the store. We need to get some milk. I was like, we have a full thing of milk. And he's like, oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry. It was spoiled.

Unknown Speaker 30:52
Sure, your story

Unknown Speaker 30:54
decided he couldn't put up with your bullshit anymore. Because the data was bad. And he made you eat it. That is exactly what happened. That's great. That's exactly what happened.

Phoebe 31:08
Yeah, so and and think of, you know, I think I was like five or six at that time, too. And I was stubborn and petty enough to just plow through it anyways. So

Unknown Speaker 31:21
yeah, um, well, you won.

Scott Benner 31:24
You ate that milk. You ate that

Unknown Speaker 31:26
I ate, I ate it. I didn't drink the milk. And he was like, that's fine. But I ate it. Just get out of my house, go to school. Go to school.

Scott Benner 31:34
I got ladies coming over. You got to get up.

Phoebe 31:40
And then and so. But yeah, he was very adamant that I knew. Because with him being a doctor, um, you know, I couldn't call him to ask, Hey, what should I do for this? Um, so he made sure I knew what to do. Of course, when he was he was there. He would double check things. And sorry, second kept coming in.

Scott Benner 32:04
There's another cat. And this one's Meow. Meow, sir. Yeah. Which you guys can see. That is a pretty cat. Of course. Well, so you his schedule didn't really allow for you to be in contact with him. And so how did

Phoebe 32:20
how did and also texting wasn't a thing. So it was all phone calls and beepers. It was just Yeah, um, you know, so back in the day like, and I was a latchkey kid, you know, I would come home from like kindergarten and let myself in the house. And, you know, I knew how to make scrambled eggs from a young age. I knew how to make a sandwich. Like, I knew how to cook for myself, all from a very young age. Because if anything happened, I like it's it's me. It's not.

Scott Benner 32:51
I really am finding myself wondering if people even understand like, younger people would even understand the concept of that. Like if I tried to explain to my son that used to come home in kindergarten, bust out your key let yourself in the house and start making some eggs. No one called the police.

Phoebe 33:08
If we did that now like CPS would be all over us. back then. It was totally normal, right?

Scott Benner 33:13
Yeah, I am. I raised my brother's pretty much break it out. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think that is as common anymore. I'm sure it still happens. But it's just probably not nearly as common.

Unknown Speaker 33:27
But good. All

Phoebe 33:29
I know is being so independent. Growing up, I did go to diabetes camp once I didn't like it because I felt like no higher all of I don't like being around other diabetics. Why are you trying to tell me to do with, with my diabetes, you don't know anything go away. I grew up to be so hyper independent, that I have a hard time sharing When I need help, because it's my thing. You know, that's been pretty much the only cause of like a disagreement between Andrew and I to it's just like, he's like, you need to tell me when you are low. And I'm like, Yeah, but usually I've already taken care of it. And like one time I literally sat in front of him with a my checker to gatorades and I thought that was enough. And then I finally came back up and I was like, that was a bad one. He was like, Why didn't you tell me I was like, cuz i was i already handled it. It's fine.

Scott Benner 34:27
So this is interesting. Seriously, because the people I told you about earlier I recorded with yesterday. I am going to be certain that whenever one of them comes out that yours comes out, they come out together because these people are younger married couple. And she the non diabetic is incredibly involved in his type one. And it was seamless the way they talked about it. Then you're allowed to get away from it. Five to die, I'll die, but you're not helping me. Yes,

Phoebe 35:04
I have gotten better. So I have a Dexcom. And the hardest thing for me to do was to let Andrew Follow me, which he does now. And he, gosh, I was working out the other day and I started to dip. And he has a song that apparently, he was driving the other day and he was listening, listening to low buy the Foo Fighters. And he's like, the song is you. I was like, What are you talking about? He goes, Well, it's called low. And the opening lyrics are, um, hey, you are you in they're stuck outside you. And he's like, when you're when you're low enough, you just go somewhere else, and no one can reach you. So he pushed that song onto the Alexa and I had to yell downstairs like, I'm fine. Leave me alone.

Scott Benner 35:56
So he's just now because you won't allow him to be involved with your diabetes care. He's now just playing taunting music at you while you're low.

Phoebe 36:04
I occasionally let him in I I've told him, you know, maybe we should practice having you put a like insulin pump site on me and stuff like that. And he knows the basics. He knows how to use my pump. He knows what a low blood sugar is, what a high blood sugar is and how to correct for each. But I'm just so this is my thing. It's not your thing. It's mine. Right?

Scott Benner 36:35
Well, okay, so besides the fact and I'm not a psychologist, obviously, I'm just a podcaster. But besides the fact that your father instilled in you that you need to take care of this by yourself at an age that is so young that I don't imagine you could escape the message. So besides that, though, what would the problem be? Like forget your like, any neuroses feelings you have about it? Like what would the issue be with him helping it there's really no issue. Another thing was, you know, um, so

Phoebe 37:11
another thing is like, my dad was so stoic and very serious. My mom was quite emotional. And anytime that I had a bad blood sugar, I would hear, you're gonna lose your feet, you're gonna go on dialysis. You can't let your blood sugar be 250. What are you

Scott Benner 37:27
doing? So just come on. Phoebe, I'm starting to think you might have lost the parent lottery a little bit. I'm sure they're lovely and everything. But I'm not saying that. I'm just

Phoebe 37:42
parents, when it when it came to when it came to diabetes. Like if I needed help, I'm sure I could have gone to them. But you know, and with them being divorced, I don't. I had my mom and I had my dad. So when it was like, Who do I go to? It was whoever I was living with. And my mom would panic at other numbers. And which is funny because she's a nurse. Like, she should not panic. And whenever we got like a bad a one C was, well, what are you doing? not wrong? Not? Hey, what can we fix together?

Unknown Speaker 38:17
Can I ask? So that just led you go?

Scott Benner 38:19
I want to ask you questions. So this just happened recently, like I just made an episode that's actually going to go up in a couple of hours. And it started from a Facebook question that someone asked, I don't know if you're inside the private Facebook group. But so inside the Thank you. Inside the private Facebook group, someone, a parent of a child said, Hey, I know there are a lot of adults in here. What you know, what would you what, what kind of advice would you give? Like, what did you learn from growing up with diabetes, right? And all kinds of different interesting directions. But one of the things that stuck out just now while you're talking to me, was that this adult believed that when their parents were harsh or angry, or you know, you have to do this, that it was really just fear coming out as anger, that they were just afraid for you and no,

Phoebe 39:12
no, absolutely. Right. Um, and, you know, it really is it was really was just fear, like, you know, I'm, I'm my mom's only child. And she like, if anything happens to me, she would just crumble, right? So she wants me to be healthy. She wants me to pop out like a million kids. And when I was younger, anytime that my blood sugar's were out of whack. Which, you know, back in the day, whack whack was, you know, below an eight, right? Okay, that was like the general consensus of the 90s and stuff.

Scott Benner 39:53
See that again? The below an eight a one c? Yeah. So if you were below in eight things were up Lie down. Oh,

Phoebe 40:00
great. Oh, that was no I was below in eight things were great. Okay, um, because back in the back in the day they preach the better high than low, right? Don't want her to go low. And now we're learning Well, we don't want them to go high either.

Scott Benner 40:17
So why just one. Why do we always pick one? Why is it always this or that in life? I'm stuck. Yeah, lately, no one can just see the nuance. It's always just this or that. It gets no, there's never. There's never a mix. I don't know. I know. And, you know, I've

Phoebe 40:35
started ever since listening to your podcast, I have gotten more aggressive with my insulin, and I'm at a 5.2 now, which was a huge success for me. I've been in like the low sixes for the past couple of years. But then I was like, Huh, Pre-Bolus in huh? All right, let's give that a whirl.

Unknown Speaker 40:56
Wanna see by a whole point? Yeah. That's cool.

Scott Benner 40:59
What about your spikes? How have they changed since you Pre-Bolus? What are they nor What did they once were

Phoebe 41:04
like now is like 160. Like, yeah, and I have my glucose or I have my Dexcom alarm set to like, 120 I wish I could set it lower because I but for some reason, it doesn't let me alert lower than 120. But whatever. Yeah, I don't know why. I don't know if it's the app or what have you.

Unknown Speaker 41:28
But I'll have to fiddle and

Scott Benner 41:30
figure that out. Neither here nor there. I am proud of you. I don't, I don't know you and you don't need my adulation. But it's nice to have regardless. That's very, that's lovely. I mean, how long did it take you to take a full point out of your Awan say? No, three months? Yeah, that's what I think too. I don't think it takes long at all. And I agree with you. 160 is the number where I start thinking, I messed this up. Like, you don't

Phoebe 41:58
feel good anymore at 160 I don't I get a little bit queasy. Um, and, you know, I'm, I'm 13 my husband and I have been talking about the baby thing. My my two good friends in California. They're both pregnant now. So apparently it's contagious. Yeah. And I was like, Alright, well, pregnancy is going to be a number. And he's like, well, you don't know that I'm like, I do. It's gonna, it's if even if it's an easy pregnancy, the diabetes part is gonna suck. And then if it's not an easy pregnancy, pregnancy is going to suck and diabetes is gonna suck. So we have an agreement that I'll be pregnant one, like, we'll get through a healthy pregnancy once and then I don't have to do it again.

Scott Benner 42:47
I don't do it. Your your verbiage is terrific there. If I was you, I would just trade those two cats in for a larger animal. And we're thinking about getting a puppy or something with a more human face. And I think you're finished Really? So are you Scott, I want to know about this. Are you scared to be pregnant?

Phoebe 43:05
A little bit? Yeah, it freaks me out one because you know, you have this thing growing in you and it like, that's just kind of odd, you know, in the first place. And then, you know, my diabetes is affected by every single decision that I make throughout the day, whether it's doing something or not doing something. And if I, if I mess it up, you know, it could hurt the baby. And people will try to be like, well, it's never your fault. Just manage your diabetes. I'm like, You're telling me two conflicting things. You're telling me to manage my diabetes. But if I don't manage my diabetes, and something happens, then it's not my fault. It's like you got to pick one or the other.

Scott Benner 43:46
There's a difference between the kind of comfort we give each other so that we all don't lose our minds. And what's real? Yeah, right. Yeah.

Phoebe 43:57
So you know, like, I would know that if something had happened, because I'd let my blood sugar's run high for a little bit. And I also know that it's not like one high blood sugar. It's consistent high blood sugars. So I'm basically right now I'm trying to practice pregnancy blood sugar's without being pregnant. I think I've gotten the hang of it a little bit.

Scott Benner 44:21
I think that's a great idea. Honestly. I have the time. We're not looking to do it anytime soon. So did the pro tip on pregnancy help you at all? Oh, yeah. That was actually the first one. The first few episodes that I listened to. Okay. Yeah. So and I was like, Huh, alright, so it's doable. It sounds terrible, but it sounds do hope. So your concern really is if I'm, if I can dig into this a little bit, your concern is that you think you can do it. Now you've proved that you can do it. Now. You're worried that you just arbitrarily won't do it or that something will happen so wonky But you can't Is that right?

Phoebe 45:02
Yeah, I'm scared that just because I can handle it without being pregnant and the added hormones and Gosh, I like I was talking to a doctor and they're like, we want you to eat a bajillion carbs a day. And I was like, Huh, I don't know. You know, like, they want you to eat, like 50 carbs at every meal and have breakfast lunch, dinner. Oh, and don't forget your 20 carbs of snacks. And I'm just like, so you want me to be in the two hundreds all the time, you're gonna ask, what's gonna happen, it's gonna be

Scott Benner 45:31
a lot more insulin is what it's gonna be. Yeah, gosh, I know, it's gonna be a lot more

Phoebe 45:35
to get my head around, like, all of my basil, right? So are between point eight and point nine. And the fact that it would have to go up to like, three is just like, it's, I know, it's the insulin that I'll need. And it's not going to cause me to tank because my body needs it. But it's still it's still a bit of a mind warp.

Scott Benner 45:57
Yeah, it's hard to wrap your head around. And it really is, I really want to I actually want to have somebody on to talk more about that. And I don't even know how to like, blend it into an episode or not. But it really makes all the sense in the world. And at the same time, from an outsider's perspective, oh, it's meaningless. To me, like, from my perspective, what I what is it? What does it matter? If it's point eight, or 1.8? Like, what?

Phoebe 46:27
I don't know. It's such a weird thing. And I can tell to like, Alright, if I don't exercise like my blood sugar's do start to creep up a little bit. So I make sure like I exercise every day. I just don't. I don't know. Maybe it's a pride thing

Scott Benner 46:42
about having that's that's the thing. I can't figure out because I do think, why is it so prideful to be like, I don't I don't use much insulin get me. Yeah, I. That's because you see it a lot with adults especially. And it's a big impediment for people making improvements. I even see this, like, Listen, somebody will come to me. You know, in my private life, they've got they've got blood sugars that are pretty consistently in the 250s. Yeah, with their kid, I can use a reason. They're just like, they need more insulin. Well, I'm like, this isn't hard to figure out. They treat by the time it's over. Like you're a genius. I'm like, Am I you know, like so but but the kids say the kids basil is point three. Right? Right. And I say I think the bass one needs to be more like point six. Well, they're like, Oh, my God, no, that's double. And I'm like, Yeah, what? Clearly, and your body needs it. So to dig into the psychology behind it, at some point that kids basil was point one, five, right? And point three is already doubled. And they can't imagine that one day that kid's gonna weigh 110 pounds, and his Basal is going to be 1.2 an hour, you know, he's or he's gonna be going through puberty. And that's just gonna, yeah. Which is then leads to why when ladies get their periods, they can't. They can't make that leap with their baselines on some helping Arden's friend the other day, I swear to you, if the FBI ever looks at my text messages, I think I'm at least gonna get investigated. Because I'm texting a 16 year old girl, you have to be sure and let me know when your period starts, which I'm assuming does not look good from the outside. Right. So So yeah, Shark Week just throws everything off. So this little girl's Basal doubles. For for her cycle goes from like, 1.2 an hour to like two in Basal. And if it doesn't her blood sugar's go right up in the 270s. They won't come down again. Wow. Just like that. Yeah,

Phoebe 48:42
for, for me. Shark Week causes not so much basil in sensitivity, but it seems like when I dose it takes longer for my insulin to start acting. So I have to Pre-Bolus even earlier, not necessarily a higher amount.

Unknown Speaker 49:01
But

Phoebe 49:02
and then of course, you know, it takes longer to start working, but then I feel like it's more sensitive. So if I don't time it right, I'll I'll spike and then I'll just tank.

Scott Benner 49:14
And I think I remember Samantha talking about that in her pregnancy like series about the Pre-Bolus being much. Right. Was that helpful to her? Did you hear her stuff?

Phoebe 49:24
Oh, yeah. No, it was it was great. I looked up every single pregnancy episode and listen to it. And it definitely calmed me down a bit. And then we also made an appointment with a maternal fetal metal medicine doctor, and he was like, yeah, you can start right now if you want. I was like, no.

Scott Benner 49:42
So the other piece of this has to be to is you have a I'm assuming a taxing job.

Phoebe 49:51
Um, it's not too bad. I have a I'm a safety engineer. So my role is a lot of document. patien and also just making sure that when someone does introduce like a new process and your chemical we go through the Okay, well, what if there's a reaction we didn't expect for what if we overpressure the system, what could go wrong and who can get hurt, things like that. And

Scott Benner 50:23
it's a desk job. Like you're

Unknown Speaker 50:26
part part desk part being involved with, like a research project.

Scott Benner 50:34
See, in my mind, this was like an 80s movie, and you had a white plastic helmet on a long white coat, you're holding a clipboard with safety goggles on walking around somewhere, checking things out. So I know I do that. Okay.

Phoebe 50:48
It's, it's a little bit of everything. Um, you know, I find it to be pretty entertaining. And it's, it's especially different with so you know, I'm in more research based role right now. And before I was in manufacturing, and manufacturing, so much more high paced than a research and development kind of thing. And, you know, the chemicals I used to work with in manufacturing were just nasty, nasty, nasty. Like, you cover the size of your palm with one of these chemicals, and it could cause heart arrhythmia, and you could die kind of nasty. Now,

Scott Benner 51:32
I'm in my mid 80s movie, Michael Keaton was in the helmet for some reason. Now let's try to figure out through my memory why that is? Hold on. Yeah. I'm gonna guess. It's a film called gung ho, where they were making cars. And I remember Michael Keaton, in garb slightly, like I've described, gung ho is not a good movie. Please don't watch it. But it was huge. Right in 1986. And now I'm going to find a picture of him. and with any luck, he's going to have a helmet on and be walking through a factory. George went was in this film. Do you remember George went from cheers by any chance? It brings a bell does it? My memory. I can't believe this is what passed for a movie when I was a child. And a teen. My kids are watching like Infinity War. And, you know, I'm watching Michael, one of my

Phoebe 52:32
one of my friends favorite movies and not sarcastically favorite, but like, her actual favorite movie was Big Trouble in Little China.

Scott Benner 52:42
Okay, it's acceptable. I'm just saying, when I was growing up, this is why you like Raiders of the Lost Ark. And Star Wars was so huge, because everything else was just it's like a it's like an independent. like four guys talking on screen. And sometimes a white lady would wander in and do a little, you know, expository dialogue and then leave again. She's writing this time for dinner. Things have grown since then. Anyway, well, gosh, I

Phoebe 53:14
forget why we were on this topic. But I don't know. We're talking. And I was like, we could never make a movie like Blazing Saddles. Oh, today. Yeah, we're not seeing the script would be burned.

Scott Benner 53:29
Like, we've insulted everyone who's alive. We can't do that. Can't do that. It'll come back around, by the way. I think so. Obviously, the the woke thing will fall asleep. Yeah. And, and, and everybody will be like, Oh, that's funny. Okay. Oh, this is funny again. Yeah. It's okay to be funny. Nobody means that, you know, no one's saying you should do that. That's exactly, definitely could happen. Might not I might be you know, I might be old enough to be one of your step brothers at that point. But by the time it comes around,

Unknown Speaker 54:05
but that Yeah,

Scott Benner 54:06
so I'm remiss here if I don't ask as we're talking about because we were talking about your kind of job because I was wondering if the work you did would interfere with being pregnant at all seems like you'll be okay. Yeah. Is there any? And this is not why you came on. So I feel bad asking this but I feel like this led us to Is there any like voice in the back of your head that's like, oh, if I have a baby, I'm gonna get divorced. No, no, you don't like have like that. Like, like, Andrew is far too good to let go ever. Okay. So usually the problem if your

Phoebe 54:42
issue is the diabetes, gotcha. It's just freaky to me. I just didn't know and do you know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, yeah, no, no, no. And Andrews just, he is, like, one of the best men that I not like he's one of the best people I've ever met. And, you know, he's, he's, he's caring. He's smart. He's funny. And he's the kind of funny that it's like it's not obvious right away. But as you as he like, warms up to you, he starts cracking out these one liners. And then you realize like, Oh my God, this kid's hilarious.

Scott Benner 55:24
Phoebe Do you guys like tell math jokes each other while you're having sex just be true. History actually chemistry, okay, I wasn't sure

Phoebe 55:36
I prefer, you know there's a mass pickup line and it's like, Hey girl, can I be your derivative so I can lay tangent to your curves. And my response to that is, I'd rather you be my integral. So you can take up the space beneath me.

Scott Benner 55:57
Everyone, that's how smart people hear humor. Just say you're not smart people get pregnant. That's how they get pregnant, they make a blueprint first. And then they get together and meet a number of different times over zoom to make sure that it's gonna work out. And they plan a day off into the future. And then they also have an extra day in case that day doesn't work. That's it, I By the way, thank God, people can think like you were I'd be washing my hair with, you know, welfare, I just

Phoebe 56:26
make sure no one, I just make sure no one gets hurt. And if they do get hurt, I figure out how that happened and make sure it doesn't happen again.

Scott Benner 56:33
That's a pretty cool job. It's fun. I enjoy it. I would see it's interesting, I would think you would my wife has a job that if she sat and described it to people, most people I think would be like,

Phoebe 56:44
Oh, god, that's our jobs are very similar in that we're both dealing with federal and state regulations. And we have to make sure that those regulations are applied and followed. And if something goes wrong, we have to fix it, essentially. So because I think you mentioned once she works for like the FDA or something she she

Scott Benner 57:07
works in drug safety. So not not the government side. But so she she very much makes sure that what's happening on the company side is safe for the people who are eventually going to end up with whatever it is they're working on. Git, right? It's very detail oriented. And there's a ton of laws and rules, and you kind of need to know them. It's not like, you know what I mean? Like, it's Yeah, it's like a stop sign. You can't see, you have to know what's there and stop, but no one's gonna tell you it's not there. And if you don't stop, they are going to come along and give you a ticket. It's a very interesting knowledge. Yes.

Phoebe 57:46
Yeah. And I my knowledge bank is, oh, we need to increase the exhaust velocity, because there was an incident that happened in Italy, or Colorado where people were painting and it caught on fire and five people died. So that's what my knowledge bank is, is all of the chemical industries, major accidents for not following safety regulations. And

Scott Benner 58:14
you don't have to just know your company, you have to know what's happening everywhere, because it might have happened to another company and it would apply to you at some point. Yeah, yes. Interesting. No, and it takes, listen, I'm not gonna lie to you. Like, I watched my wife work sometimes. Especially now. She's been she's been you know, she took her over our dining room for like, the last seven months. Yeah. There are not a lot of people who could do what she's doing. And she's exceedingly good at it. It's it's really, like fascinating. I her brain must be firing a million miles an hour. Yeah, if you put me in that job. I would just, I beg I don't know. What do you guys think? Nobody said anything. I must be okay. No. All right. Fine, then move on. Then fine. People are dead. The painting booth somewhere like that. Yeah. So well, it. It's it'll be fun. So cool. So what do you do now? Like, how do you manage what's your gear? So I have a Dexcom. And a tandem insulin pump are using the control IQ.

Phoebe 59:20
Yeah, that's not aggressive enough for me. It sets your target at 110. And if you get to 90, it cuts back on your basil. And I'm like, but I want to be at 90 don't don't cut back on my Basal.

Scott Benner 59:32
So I just got where I'm going. And now you're making me leave.

Phoebe 59:36
Yeah, so I found that it just, it was, too. What's the word I'm looking for? It was too non aggressive. You know, it wants you. I mean, for I'm sure for people who are like bouncing all over from 400 to 40. Every day, multiple times a day, I'm sure it's like a godsend. Yeah, but I wasn't at that. Point and now I'm trying to be like, hey, if I could hang out at 85 all day, I call that a plus, that'd be alright. And for me, I my ish. Like, I'm not scared of lows. I, like I know a lot of diabetics are just absolutely terrified of low blood sugars, right? I don't know if because when I was a kid, I had a number of seizures. I had a seizure when I was by myself living in Kentucky, got myself out of that. But those lows Don't scare me, maybe because I've seen the worst. High is on the other hand, like, I don't like highs and lows are easier to fix. You chug your Gatorade, and in about 10 minutes, you're coming back up. Whereas with a high, it's half an hour before the evil, the insulin even starts working. And then, you know, another hour before it peaks. And then finally, like two hours later, you're coming down so well, I just think a low is so much easier to fix.

Scott Benner 1:01:07
It's so funny. I had a question that I knocked out of my own head by laughing I was gonna say something like, I built you up to be smart. And then you said that non aggressive or aggressive and I was like, No, you let me down there. But But now I'm just wondering if you found yourself on the floor in Kentucky thinking I am not dying and Kentucky by myself.

Phoebe 1:01:28
I thought that what happened was I woke up one morning, I'm like, Oh, I don't feel good. And I stood up and I had an open container of glucose tabs on my desk. And as I was falling to the ground, I managed to knock the glucose tabs off of the nightstand. And they were about six inches from my face. And I started convulsing. I was completely conscious the whole time, which was bizarre. Um, and I just was like, EFF this I not dying in Paducah. And I managed to like, like, you know, in the Princess Bride, when after he eats the miracle pill, he like flings his arm Yes, like move around. I basically did that. And I got a hold of like three glucose tabs and shoved him in my mouth. And then, uh, and then I regained motor function, and I shoved like 10 more in my mouth. And then I called Andrew and he's like, why are you on the i facetimed? Him? He's like, why are you on the floor? I was like, I think had a seizure. But I'm not sure. But I don't feel good. He was like, Okay, I'm like, What are you doing? He's like, I'm getting the number for the paramedics just in case I lose you. I was like already.

Scott Benner 1:02:50
And I'm busy telling Alexa to play low. But we didn't have one. That was that was before. Before Alexa, I'm just impressed that an engineer had enough hand eye coordination to knock something on the floor as they were falling. What do you think of that? Well, I play soccer. Oh, really? They don't like my hands and soccer though. I was a goalie. Oh, well, kid you you have an answer for every one of my questions.

Phoebe 1:03:15
Yes. I was also concussed one. So maybe that's why I'm not good with words. of soccer ball hit you in the head a little too hard. No, someone kicked me in the head. Oh, that's worse. For weeks, I was like, when are we gonna make up this game that we missed? And my teammates were like, thieves. You missed. Miss. We didn't miss that game.

Scott Benner 1:03:36
I was like, y'all played it. You sat on the side and said weird stuff for like an hour and a half. Hopefully you went back in I was probably not a good idea to really try to play again. My coach put me back in Yeah, that's not I saw my my son's catcher one time, took a foul ball. It came right through and hit him in the helmet. He caught a little longer before he came out of the game. And it was a doubleheader. And I spoke to him hours later, after all the games are over. And he's like, I only really remember like the last half hour what's going on right now. Like, he was gone. He played afterwards for little I doesn't remember playing like no,

Phoebe 1:04:13
no, I don't remember anything from that day. And then later, I was getting headaches. And my mom took me to a doctor. And she's like, you know, have you had any injuries in the past few months. I was like, Well, I was kicked in the head. And my mom looked at me because she didn't go to my soccer games because she would panic anytime someone came near me with the ball. So I eventually told her I was like, you gotta just not

Scott Benner 1:04:38
come. I thought she didn't come because it was soccer.

Unknown Speaker 1:04:41
No, no, she she would she would yell like, oh, watch out. Oh, sweetheart. And that would be like, Mom,

Scott Benner 1:04:47
stop. Everyone should know.

Phoebe 1:04:49
And I was like, you don't have to come. Yeah. And then. And then she was like, wait, you didn't tell me this. I was like, Oh yeah, I probably forgot.

Scott Benner 1:04:59
I I want you and everyone listening to know that at this point in the life of the podcast, I only tease about soccer because of one person listening. So I'm sure if you're listening still, one former collegiate soccer player who wants emailed me and said, Please stop making fun of soccer. I'm literally just doing it with you. Just so you know. Excellent. It just makes me happy to tease and think that there's one person out there. That's like, Why won't he stop making fun of soccer? It's a nice sport.

Phoebe 1:05:37
A I don't like like one of the few sports that women can play where you can still hit each other and it's fine. What about roller drives? I thought about joining a roller derby team when I was in Kentucky, because there's nothing else to do. And I thought that would be fun. I gotta

Scott Benner 1:05:52
be honest, if anyone's listening who does roller derby? Right? I would like you to be on the show.

Phoebe 1:05:58
One of the things. I did jujitsu for a little bit, but then I went back on a pump and a CGM. I was like, this is gonna get ripped off. And they're too expensive. Just so.

Scott Benner 1:06:09
So yeah. So throughout your life, and we're gonna wrap up because we're up on time but but throughout your life, doing regular and mph as a kid and everything you have any recollection from what you're a one sees whereby you just think, were they actually under eight? Or was that just the goal?

Phoebe 1:06:25
under eight was the goal, I would probably I was probably floating around eight for most of my childhood, okay. And then college happen, then I wish I had a Dexcom in college because I hate checking my blood sugar. I loathe it. Some I like I get that's for some people. It's automatic. And it's no big deal. But for me, I was lucky if I was testing three times a day, right? Because I just hated it. And I hated seeing the high numbers. And it would be like, I would have a beer. And then dinner time would come around. And I knew I was going to be high because beer has carbs. So I'm just not going to check. And I'm just going to dose. And obviously with the Dexcom that kind of takes care of everything because I can just look at my phone real quick. But yeah, it was, I was happy to be in the eights. I I never got into the double digits. But that was probably mostly luck. And now that I have the data and the technology, you know, I can still have like, the snacks and if I if I forget to look at my pump after eating a few crackers, I can be like, just give that insulin real quick. All right, I'm at Oh, maybe I'm okay. Yeah, um, I'm back in the day. I just loved checking my blood sugar. And that's probably why I was running higher. We have been

Scott Benner 1:07:54
a lot. So I got my wife is irritating me. Maybe it's just because we're early in our marriage. But Andrew doesn't irritate me. She's texting me She needs to know something, right? Which is fine. And, and so she sent me a text, which I ignored. Because I'm doing something. We're doing stuff. And now I'm getting, you know, multiple text messages. So she's setting up a new laptop for work, her laptop just died. They sent her another one, she's got to get it set up, right. So I get a picture of a screen that's asking for our Wi Fi password. Which by the way, is the same, you know, I already have to bleep earlier. So I now they'll be asleep during reading. It's the same Wi Fi password that we've had for 25 years. And then I get new laptop. So now it's for the picture. My phone buzzes under my leg, and then it buzzes again, because I don't answer the picture. Then she sends new laptop that buzzes then it buzzes a second time, then it comes in Hello. Then I say I'm recording. And then I send our Wi Fi password through tax which now I'm assuming the NSA has, and it's not going to be long now before bill Barr is using my Wi Fi. Right and and so and then she goes Oh, nevermind. I got it.

Unknown Speaker 1:09:18
Been kidding me.

Phoebe 1:09:20
I was so I've been trying really hard not to swear because I have a mouth like a sailor grew up for a bit in Boston and you know, in the Philly area. So for me. I'm going to have the kid that teaches all the other kids the swear words. I just know it. Like watch my child's first word be like, or something like that. Um, and I was I was joking in my head before coming on. I was like, oh, we're gonna have to make this an after dark because Phoebe has a sailor's mouth. But so you did well, I cursed. Not you know, I was like, oh, once he curses. I'll be good.

Scott Benner 1:09:58
The biggest problem with cursing is that When I'm editing, I have to stop and bleep and all that it just takes more time. Although, I mean, if you're gonna text me seven times about the Wi Fi password that you got them, Well, no, I'm gonna have to be. Alright, so hold on one second. So you were saying, but if anybody can follow this, they have aged ADHD, that's for sure. Seriously, but you were you were you were talking about your management when you were younger. And once these were where they were, I was wondering, is there looking back regular an MPH? Was there any way to really affect it? Like, how could you have affected it? Back then, and he had a meter right. But you didn't use it very frequently, if at all probably wasn't super active. I mean,

Phoebe 1:10:39
when I when I was a young kid, it was better because I was more under my parents. Watch. But once I turned like 13, and I was pretty much on my own. My checking got a little more laps. But with Yeah, with regular and mph, really it was dose, eat at the right time dose again, eat at the right time. So there there really, there's not a lot of tweaking you can do with that system. It's meant to keep you alive. It's really not meant to

Scott Benner 1:11:10
manage down your stuff like that. Yeah. Now, how. So when you were speaking about college was interesting. You said something that kind of flared My, my, my head a little bit, you said that you would think oh, I drank beer, so my blood sugar's high. So I'll just give myself insulin, but would eventually lead to checking. So you had to check. But you were swapping checking to make a good decision for checking to save your life, when you could have just like reminded me of sleep? Do you ever give to somebody who can't sleep on a schedule, and you say they're always tired, and they're sleeping, and you say, look, if you just went to bed four hours earlier, you'd get up, you'd get up four hours earlier, your life would be on the process of the sun, the way your brains meant to be, and you'd feel better and etc. You it all makes this. It's not like you have to be at a job at one o'clock in the morning, you're just physically making the decision not to go to sleep, just slide the clock a different way and start over. And similarly, had you just moved the blood sugar check to where it would have been held for you. None of this all would happen, but and you're a bright person. So my question is, why does that not? I don't mean just for you. I think a lot of people struggle with this.

Phoebe 1:12:24
I think I just, I just it would be like, well, I've already messed up this blood sugar, might as well just lean into it and see if I can maybe fix it later. and hope for the best because it was very much a I don't want to know if I'm high. So I'm just gonna

Unknown Speaker 1:12:47
ignore it.

Scott Benner 1:12:48
But eventually you'll be high and then you'll have to know.

Phoebe 1:12:52
Yeah, I mean, eventually you'll you'll know just from the way you feel. And but of course, you know, as your blood sugar's stays elevated, you get a little more used to it being elevated. So, you know, you feel fine, but you're not fine.

Scott Benner 1:13:07
You know, you're perfectly describing dieting. Seriously, like, you know, you get up in the morning, you're like this morning, I'm gonna have two eggs and a half a piece of rye toast and a cup of coffee. And I'm gonna give myself because you're like, you take a bite, you're like, well, hell, if I'm gonna have a bite, I might as well have three waffles somehow that's the leap. You know?

Phoebe 1:13:27
It's very much that. I don't know, there's I think there's like there's some kind of folly or something that has it has an actual name, but I forget what it is. But it's very much of a well, I already messed up this one time, might as well just lead into it, trying

Scott Benner 1:13:43
to figure out what part of the brain lights up for that because it's the same thing, right, like so now that I've had the waffles when lunch comes, I'm not going to have, you know, a water crunch. Right. So now I'm like, I ate waffles this morning. As you know, we should probably get pizza. And then you know, you get pizza. And then you're like popping candy in the oven. And then you don't feel well. And you're like, Oh, I shouldn't eat like that. And then you know, I'm going to get better. Yeah. And then in the morning, you're like, oh, two eggs. I'm gonna poach him. I think this time, little rye toast, blah, blah, blah, kid comes running through the room with those little muffins that come in the package that you know, aren't food and you're like, Oh, those things are great. You're popping them in your mouth. And the next thing you know, you weigh 65 pounds more than you mean. Right. So so seriously, I think it's the same thing.

Phoebe 1:14:28
It's probably very similar. It's just, uh, it's, it really is a well I already messed this up instead of you know, just trying to deal with it and fix it and you know, as as a kid, like, No one likes to see that your blood sugar's high because especially I don't know if it's just from I feel like the the attitude has definitely shifted from when I was younger, but it was very much a that blood sugar is bad and it means you're not do Doing in means you're doing bad with your diabetes, and it was very much not a. Okay, this is the number. Let's fix it and move on. Okay, um, which I think is a much better approach. Yeah, you know not to assign good or bad to a number. It's just here's the data, use the data, and then move on with your life. Yeah. Which is what I'm starting to see, like more like in the chats and like the, you know, when someone says, like, oh, what's the best piece of advice? Everyone goes, don't assign a moral value to a number,

Scott Benner 1:15:38
right? Well, it's also interesting when you're because you're talking about social media. I also think that social media draws in people who are in a certain part of the process, too.

Phoebe 1:15:50
Yeah. So that has always been my issue with like, joining some of the diabetic groups, because you see, you know, you also and a lot of times, that's like the same thing with like Yelp. People don't. People rarely write good review, because I had a great time, they want to write a bad review. So everyone knows that they had a horrible time at your favorite restaurant? Yeah. You know, the people posting online, or there are a lot of times they're, they're in a bad, they're in a bad place, or they're not taking care of their diabetes, or they're just so new and confused. It's just a lot of negativity sometimes, and, but it's not even the people. It's their situation.

Scott Benner 1:16:31
Right. And so, that's why I mean, seriously,

Phoebe 1:16:36
and then, and then sometimes I feel like, it comes across as judgmental. But you know, you see, like people's graphs, and they're like, I was 100% in range. And I was like, Yeah, but your blood sugar still went to 200. But you're in range goes up to 250. Like, why is it so high? You should lower that sucker down.

Scott Benner 1:16:53
That's their first step. Their first step is I picked the range, I stayed in it, and then you hope that their next step is to

Phoebe 1:17:00
lower the range. Yeah. Right. And then I you know, and then you get the responses. Well, I don't want the Dexcom beeping at me. It's like, that's what it's for. That you because if you don't get high, you don't get high.

Scott Benner 1:17:18
I my carbon monoxide detector woke us up. Stop wants that paper, I should take the batteries out of the way the cat's dead. Like, you know, like, so. I wonder what that's about? All the birds dead? Why am I hallucinating? So how did you fix it? Well, we threw out the carbon monoxide detector. Now, I just it's interesting, because if you talk to me or other people have been around for a really, really long time. It just cycles, online cycles and cycles. And I will have conversations with people. And I'll see them pop up in different threads. And then one day, five, six months later, they're just gone. Like you'll see I'm talking about how good their blood sugar's are. And then they'll realize, like, I can go live my life again. Yeah. And that's amazing. But it's hard to remember that in the moment, because at some point, when you've heard your 9,000,000th person make the same complaint, it takes a special person to go Hey, that's okay. And start from scratch. And I am literally calling myself a special person in this situation, because I am the most special Well, at least close to the bestest and because I have the temperament to not feel like, oh, why do these people because I realized these people, quote unquote, are not the same people from yesterday. And right, you know, but a lot of sometimes that doesn't happen. You can see when people reach their social media tipping point, because they conflate everyone together into like one person.

Phoebe 1:18:47
But yeah, for me, it was just it was more negativity than I wanted to deal with. And, and I don't know if this was because how it was raised, but a lot of Oh, woe is me. This is the worst. Like, I'm not saying that diabetes doesn't suck because it does. If I had the option, I would totally go like, be on the experimental trial for a cure, right? Or if I was like, if I could go back or if like a genie would pop up and say like, what's your one wish? I'd be like, get rid of type one diabetes. You know, like, I would totally do that. But once you once you start using the data and figuring things out for yourself, it it it really is okay, I still have days where something throws me off or I get a little sick and like I'm floating in the 150s 160s all day so and then I don't feel so great. Or you know, I have Thai food and misjudged it and now I'm at 220 like it definitely happens. But it those are fewer and further between them when I was a kid.

Scott Benner 1:19:55
I think that's possible to yeah managed to get to. I really do.

Phoebe 1:19:59
Yeah. It's it's like, you know, like, yeah, I can't spontaneously just be like, I'm gonna go to this place for a week like, No, I have to pack insulin and I have to pack my pump supplies. But I mean, you have to pack underwear for a trip. It's the same thing.

Scott Benner 1:20:17
It's all in the way you see it and plus, those people didn't have your dad who was like, hey, look, you're gonna do this by yourself?

Phoebe 1:20:24
Yeah, I know, like it. Like, sometimes I read like how, like, sometimes I hear, like, how involved you are with art in and I'm like, I think it's great. But at the same time in the back of my head, like, if Scott was like, if he had to get surgery for a day, right? And he couldn't answer like,

Unknown Speaker 1:20:42
would she be okay? Like, she handle it? Yeah, she'd be fine.

Phoebe 1:20:46
I'm sure because I'm sure you're teaching her as like you're helping her. You know, with, hey, we should give this but you know, it's it's all of that a while she's gonna leave the house. Not too long. And she's gonna go to middle of nowhere Kentucky where there's not going to be a good Wi Fi signal. And

Scott Benner 1:21:09
Kentucky gets better Wi Fi in case my kid wants to go to college. Well, if you'd be you were really delightful. Thank you for doing this. I appreciate it. Yeah, it was fun. It's a really good time. I liked when I said we're coming up on time. And you were like, really? Cool. That's good news. Because you weren't, you weren't sitting over there going.

Unknown Speaker 1:21:26
chatty, so you're chatty, you were very chatty. Which is perfect, by the way, which is great for a podcast. Really?

Scott Benner 1:21:34
Yeah. There's been a couple of people over the years who were just like, please say more words, please. I'm running out of the say you gotta say.

Unknown Speaker 1:21:43
There's a lot of dead space. Kai, when you start when I start running

Scott Benner 1:21:47
out of words, you're in trouble, because I can talk forever. Sure. Oh, cool. Well, seriously, thank you so much. First, I want to thank Phoebe because she was terrific. And then I want to thank the Contour Next One blood glucose meter, because it's terrific. And you can find out more about how terrific it is at Contour Next one.com, forward slash juicebox. And to my longest standing sponsor on the pod, thank you, thank you, thank you. Find out if you're eligible for that free 30 day trial of the Omni pod dash at Omni pod.com Ford slash juicebox. There are links to these and all of the sponsors at Juicebox Podcast comm are right there in the show notes of your podcast player, or you're not listening in a podcast player. You should be it's a really easy way and free way to listen. And of course, we'll just let the music drift off here. If you're looking for a way to support the show, it's simple. Share it with someone who you think might be interested. Subscribe in the app you're listening in, or follow like if you're in Spotify follow if you're an Apple Music, I think it's or if you're an apple podcast, I think that's follow now some of them are subscribed. Just subscribe or follow, subscribe or follow. tell somebody about the show. Leave a great review wherever you listen, these things would be incredibly helpful. And if you'd like to join up with other listeners and talk about diabetes, there's a Juicebox Podcast private Facebook page. It is there for you to use as you will I believe 12,000 users right now and growing every day Juicebox Podcast type one diabetes, and of course supporting the T one day exchange by joining their registry and answering their quick survey also supports the show. And this ends the how to support the podcast that portion of the podcast. Thank you so much for listening. I'll be back soon with another episode of the Juicebox Podcast.