#372 After Dark: Divorce and Co-Parenting

August 26, 2020Scott Benner

ADULT TOPIC WARNING

A father of a type 1 discusses his divorce and co-parenting type 1 diabetes

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DISCLAIMER: This text is the output of AI based transcribing from an audio recording. Although the transcription is largely accurate, in some cases it is incomplete or inaccurate due to inaudible passages or transcription errors and should not be treated as an authoritative record. Nothing that you read here constitutes advice medical or otherwise. Always consult with a healthcare professional before making changes to a healthcare plan.

Scott Benner 0:00
Hello, everybody. Welcome to Episode 372 of the Juicebox Podcast and Episode 1234 episode seven of the afterdark series. So far we've done afterdark for drinking, weed smoking, trauma and addiction. Sex from the female perspective, depression and self harm sex from the male perspective. Today we're doing divorce from the perspective of the father of a child with Type One Diabetes. This episode of The Juicebox Podcast is sponsored today by the Omni pod tubeless insulin plump, plump, plump by the Omni pod tubeless insulin pump, go to my Omni pod.com Ford slash juicebox. Today to get a free no obligation demo of the Omni pod sent directly to your home. plump up your diabetes game. I don't even know what I'm talking about. The episode is also sponsored by the dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor dexcom.com Ford slash juice box will tell you everything you need to know about what is in my opinion, the world's most amazing diabetes tool for measuring your blood sugar. See what direction and speed your blood sugar is moving in, in real time with the dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor. You want to make good decisions about insulin, get a G six. If you've been thinking about these tools and have been procrastinating, what are you doing get to it. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, you have to go look, this stuff is amazing.

It took me quite some time to find someone willing to come on and talk about being divorced. And having a child with type one diabetes, and the CO parenting that goes with it. But today you're going to speak to a wise and brave man named Jeremy. And he's really going to share how his divorce went when his son's diagnosis cropped into the story and how they dealt with things and continue to deal with things to this day. Please remember, while you're listening that nothing you hear on the Juicebox Podcast should be considered advice, medical or otherwise, please always consult a physician before making changes to your medical plan are becoming bold with insulin. You could become part of some amazing Type One Diabetes Research right there from the comfort of wherever your butt is at this moment from your phone or computer, go to T one d exchange.org. forward slash juicebox. Take yet you gotta be from the US for this. Take a short survey, I think it took me about seven minutes to take, you're going to be supporting research and supporting the podcast at the same time. T one d exchange.org. forward slash juicebox.

Jeremy 3:02
My name is Jeremy Ross Meyer, I'm a single dad of 11 year old type one diabetic named thaman. We've been diagnosed at this point about two and a half years. And we have had an A one C at this point of six or under for the last two years.

Scott Benner 3:22
Congratulations. That's excellent. So you, Jeremy were very kind. I've put this call out a number of times and never gotten a response. But of the private messages that I get a number of them are consistently about Do you have any episodes about co parenting about you know, divorce that, you know, I'm having a lot of trouble. It always feels like it's one or the other, you know, either we're not on the same page or one person's taking the care. You know what, what feels like more seriously to this person than the other person is. And no one ever really knows how to do it because of all of the other entanglements that are wrapped around it. And so you're, you're here to talk about your your time with this, which is really kind and I appreciate it for everybody. So unlike most episodes, I'm going to start with how old are you and when did you get married?

Jeremy 4:22
I'm 38 now, um, got married when I want to say I was 25 or 26.

Scott Benner 4:32
Okay, how long did you How long did you make it? I'm gonna try to make this fun if I can

Jeremy 4:39
find I think I have a good way of answering this and it's not exactly how you want me to answer but I'm going to answer in this way please. So um I have always growing up. I grew up in roller skating rinks whether that be in Lincoln, Nebraska or up here in Montana and There was a co worker that said, Hey, I have this friend, I think that you would really like to meet. And she brought, I was the Friday night, Saturday night DJ for 15 plus years at this roller rink at this point, okay. And she walked through the door, and I instantly knew that, yes, that's the one, it was one of those things. And at this point, she was 17. I was 21. So I was, you know, it was a little different, but it is what it is. And from that point, on to the point, we got married, it was about four years, okay, um, and I'm a product of a divorce myself. And it was one of those things where we wanted to make sure in every way shape or form that that we were going to work. And if the even meant that we moved in together and live together for about two years to make sure that sight was gonna work, we always knew that we were going to end up getting married. But we wanted to make it make sure it was going to work. And in the end, it didn't work. We so we dated for about four years. And we were together, just under six years. And we've been divorced for just about seven years now.

Scott Benner 6:28
Okay. So you do you're married, you were together for four years living together, and then we're married for two years. Now we were married for six, six, excuse me. So four to 10. In total? I got it. Yeah. All right. So you went from 21 to 31. During that time? Excuse me, you met when you were 21. So you got married when you were like 25? She was 21. Okay, I got it. Yep. All right. Sorry. Okay, so so that's a, that's a long time. How is there a moment? in those 10 years? Where you thought, this is not working the way I wanted it to? Or did it sneak up on you? Did you walk in the house one day, and she was like, your stuffs on the lawn? I'm leaving and you went? Wait, what's happening? Or did you feel it coming?

Jeremy 7:17
Can you talk? No, she it? Uh, I knew that it was coming. It was one of those things? Were they were all the warning signs. She blatantly told me Look, you know, this needs to happen. And I guess we need to go into a little bit of, of at least least what what caused the divorce a little bit to understand kind of what happened. And, and at the time, I would have told you Well, look, kind of like you said earlier that that that, you know that. You know, I married that night and I didn't it was me being you know, retrospectively looking back over all this, you know, it was me honestly. Not wanting to put the effort forth in the in the marriage to make it work. I said, Well, I got what I wanted, don't need to go out and go to the park. I don't need to go out and do this. I don't need to go out and do that. And you know, you want to go have a have a one shot at the lake. Okay, let's go to Lake and well, I'm hot. Let's drive back. You know, it was me not putting forth a lot of the effort that was required.

All around, I guess, being lazy.

And it was me.

I guess being socially awkward, me being having a bit of social anxiety and not liking to be around large groups of people. Those aren't excuses. It was just, you know, looking back on. I think that's a lot of what I was struggling with at the time that it always seemed like she would ask me to go do something I would tell her No, I would continue sitting in my chair. And she would leave. And it got to that point where she's, you know, she had vocalized her concerns multiple times for a couple of years, to be honest with you, right? And I kept on saying, you know, no, I'll change no oil change the oil change. And

Scott Benner 9:34
did you can I ask, did you share with her that you had, like this social awkwardness? Was she aware of that?

Jeremy 9:41
Not really, until afterwards. It wasn't until we were we were divorced. And we for you know a good number of years, probably three years or so. That that I we really sat down and talked about it. And it was kind of eye opening at that point because she she kind of understood me more at that point. And I understood her more.

Yeah, it was just a really awkward time. Do you?

Scott Benner 10:15
Do you have feelings? That you said, You're from a divorced family? Did you feel like you were like that was going to happen? At some point? Did you have an expectation that you couldn't stay married? I'm wondering or no,

Jeremy 10:28
I was always very, very much from the standpoint of, you know, marriage. Because I mean, I grew up in parochial school until at least sixth grade or so. And I was raised that you know, whenever you get married, you get married, and you're married. And that's it. Yeah. You know, once and done it, it isn't a failure option thing. But in a way, yes. Because like I said, You know, I took every precaution beforehand, unlike, you know, lots of people nowadays, or even 10 years ago, where, Hey, stop a cat,

Unknown Speaker 11:10
where

Scott Benner 11:10
you got to give that cat a better name. I know

Jeremy 11:15
where it was, ever. They just, you know, kids nowadays, they just move in with each other not trying to bet anything.

Scott Benner 11:24
Well, that's a good point. And during those four years that you live together, were you awkward then or is that something that you grew into?

Jeremy 11:31
It, it was something I grew into, and I've always been a bit socially awkward. And it's been one of those things where if even now trying to go to Walmart, by myself, for myself, it's not, it's not gonna happen, unless I have someone there. Like, even my son, violent someone there, I'm okay, I can go inside, I can shop all day long. It just got socially, Eric, I guess it got worse with the marriage because I started learning that I don't even have to go, I could just ask her to go.

Scott Benner 12:04
I say, you know, taking away this awkwardness for you by being the person who went out and did this thing, you didn't have to do that anymore. But then when she has wanted to do something personal with you, you are getting more and more comfortable. In at home.

Jeremy 12:18
Exactly. Okay. The

biggest thing, but with that, it also, I didn't realize at the time that that's what it was, it wasn't until you know, I I seeked out a doctor and I and I talked to a doctor over all this that I found out about all this, you know, I knew that there was something wrong and but I couldn't explain it. It wasn't until after the divorce that I truthfully understood what it was and why I was experiencing it and everything else. Because I've always been okay at work. Because Well, I be there a been in a position of power, if you will, at work where I'm in control. But you put me in a situation where I'm not in control. And that's where I break down.

Scott Benner 13:07
Okay. And you didn't even know it yourself. So you couldn't even tell her. It just felt like I don't want to go out or I'll do it.

Jeremy 13:17
Yeah, it was overwhelming anxiety. And at that time, once again, didn't know what anxiety really was, you know, I? It was it's different, I guess.

Scott Benner 13:29
And and so I guess when you don't know what it is, it feels like, like, Oh my god, she's bothering me all the time to do these things. She knows I don't want to do them. Like why so you can almost get angry in return. In this scenario where you have no real? No, no real right to be angry. But it just it kind of manifests itself I guess. In that

Jeremy 13:51
Yeah. And I wouldn't really call it anger. It was just it wasn't, like I said, an overwhelming sense of anxiety.

Scott Benner 14:00
Okay. So you didn't mind her asking you to go out you just once the Ask happen. You just were like, well, I can't do that.

Jeremy 14:06
Yeah. And then you know, and I knew there was a serious breakdown whenever she stopped asking, right? It was, Hey, I'm gonna go over to my parents. Or, hey, I'm gonna go do this. It wasn't, hey, let's go do this. Or let's go to the park or let's do this, or let's do that. It was I'm going,

Scott Benner 14:27
huh? So it's kind of it's fairly classic then. So you get married. There's a person there that does this stuff. We are together because I work or you work or we both work and we we intersect we have a meal. We'll bang our genitals into each other once in a while. keep the house clean, pay the bills. That's what we're doing over and over again. Like that's just what this is. And, and she wanted more than that. And you were really probably pretty thrilled with how it was I would imagine.

Jeremy 14:55
Yeah. And then I mean, don't get me wrong. We had tons of great years. tons. great memories match.

I mean, and I

I'll be honest with you, I mean, I, she's, she's been remarried now for three or four years. If she was to get divorced and want to get back together, I would take her back in a heartbeat. We've grown that much since then. I still love her as the mother of my child. But we actually get along better now than we did for most of our marriage.

Scott Benner 15:35
Well, I guess probably because you explained yourself to her. She understands now and yeah, and the and the stressors gone? Because, you know, do you think if Do you think if we wave the magic wand, and she was back in the house and said, hey, let's go out and have a picnic? you'd just be like, yeah, cool. Or would you say, Oh, no, that makes me anxious. But let's work through it. Like, where are you at?

Jeremy 15:56
It's giving me anxiety right now, just thinking. Gotcha. But at the same time, I don't know. It's like it would be worth it in the long run. And I'm not saying that that will ever happen. I understand. No, I understand. In my mind, we've, we've, we've grown enough to I think we could end up doing it. But that's you're trying to say that

Scott Benner 16:17
you guys have your relationship didn't stop growing. When the divorce has no,

Unknown Speaker 16:22
yeah, I'll be honest with you.

Jeremy 16:25
Whenever we even

so right after the divorce thing, not right after right before the divorce, and then the preceding years after the divorce things were not great.

And I think we need to talk about that.

Scott Benner 16:42
Yeah, Jeremy. That's why you're right. Yeah, that's why you're on because because you had a contentious divorce. And it's not any longer and so let's just put a little perspective on it. Your child with diabetes? How long? How old was? How old was your child when you were divorced when you got divorced?

Jeremy 17:03
Um, he was four or five appetite?

Scott Benner 17:07
Okay. Did he have type one then?

Jeremy 17:10
No, we didn't get it diagnosed until 2019. February 9 2019. Oh, no, not 918.

Scott Benner 17:19
roughly how long? Were you divorced when he was diagnosed?

Jeremy 17:24
Four years.

Scott Benner 17:25
Okay. There's a fair amount of time. And yeah, in those four years, what you were about to say is your relationship with your ex was how

Jeremy 17:34
it was. Okay. So it was interesting. I mean, right before the divorce and for, you know, since then it was it was very rocky. I mean, it was where everybody's taking notes on everybody else, just in case. And, you know, this is your time, this is my time, if it was me trying to manipulate a lot of the situations. It was me fighting to get this done or fighting to get that done. It was, you know, it was me versus her. But at the same time, we always, she always still called me whenever she was, you know, needed something, or should we still talk like we were friends, but there was still a hardcore line there. Yeah. And

as that progressed,

it got more and more to the point where we were talking more as friends. Even to the point where she would call me about her boyfriends. Hey, this guy is saying this. What does this mean? You know, and it was it was weird, but at the same time, I knew that she trusted me, right. And even to this day, I mean, like, whenever thaman went to his first camp last year, his diabetes camp. She called me at 3am in the morning on her porch, freaking out, you know, talking to me, and I'm like, you have a husband go talk to your husband about it seems like no, but you understand.

Scott Benner 19:17
So cat and I are sleeping. So

Unknown Speaker 19:19
yeah, exactly.

Scott Benner 19:21
No, no, I hear what you're saying. So So this, so I guess removed from being impacted by your social anxiety. She really did like everything else about you. It wasn't it was it was really that part right there. Did you must have really been a hermit huh? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I say it. Alright. Tell me about the diagnosis a little bit. How did that go? Cuz you're gonna have a different story than other people. This week, I've been helping a newly diagnosed family get through the first couple of days with type one. This is something I'm doing personally in my own time and It didn't take 48 hours for the person to say to me, is there another way to get this insulin in besides these needles? And I said, Yeah, I mean, you could get an insulin pump. They asked me which one I would choose. And the only thing that I could tell them was that the Omni pod tubeless insulin pump has been a mainstay of my daughter's life since she was four years old. And Arden is 16. Now, for 12 years, every day, my daughter has been wearing it on the pod tubeless insulin pump. And it's been a friend, honestly, in our our lives with Type One Diabetes. So not because you know, it's a click for the podcast, but I just said to her here, go to this link. And give it a try. it'll send one to your house, and you can slap it on and give it a whirl, my omnipod.com forward slash juice box? Well, the pods on its way, and they're very much looking forward to it. And I'll be able to report back to you what they do in the future. But I'm you know, them I don't, I don't care what any of you do. I'm just telling you that the Omni pod exists, I think it's terrific. And it's super simple for you to check out because you can get a free, no obligation demo, my Omni pod.com forward slash juice box. The Omni pod is tubeless. It's easy. It works. You can swim bave, recreate, do whatever you want, and keep it on. Super important not to have to disconnect to do those things. Because when you do that you're without your insulin. That's it. You don't need a big sell. For me. It's what I think is right. It's why on the positive sponsor, if I didn't like on the pod, if I didn't love it, if my daughter didn't have the most amazing experience with it, they would not be sponsors on this podcast. That's it. That's how you can take that to the bank, as they say. So support the podcast if you will use my link. And if you don't, as long as you guys are happy. That's what makes me happy. Another thing that makes me happy is being able to see the speed and direction of my daughter's blood sugar. You don't think I thought those other people about Dexcom? I certainly did. Why? Because right here on my iPhone or on their Android, she told me I have an Android phone. So don't worry, it works with that too. I can see my daughter's blood sugar right now. Well, I know what it is. It's 115. That quick, it's stable and steady. It is not rising or falling. It's actually been 115 for about the past 45 minutes, she came down from a little bit of a high from a lunch that had some fat and protein in it that it didn't do a great job of bolusing for but we were able to bring that number down and come in for this beautiful landing at 115. Because we can see Arden's blood sugar in real time because of the Dexcom g six, understand, went to a lunch had some food it hit or harder than it should have. And instead of sitting there all like I don't know what to do, you know, for three or four hours and looking at this big blood sugar, we were able to bring it down gracefully and safely. right back to where we want it.

I'm not even gonna bother telling you today. You know what I said? I'm gonna tell you anyway, right about the share and follow features. My daughter's sharing her Dexcom data and I'm seeing it on my phone, she could actually share it with up to 10 people of her choosing. If she was an adult and still wanted us to follow her blood sugars in college, we could do that. Or even if she was a you know, 1000 years old, the oldest person in the world with diabetes, we could still follow her blood sugar on our phones dexcom.com forward slash juicebox my Omni pod.com forward slash juice box links are in the show notes and at Juicebox podcast.com if you can't remember them, and please add your name to the T one D exchange T one d exchange.org forward slash juice box back to Jeremy hoppy dem one take no edits. I am so pleased with myself right now you have no idea I don't mean to break the fourth wall here and you're listening to the podcast I'm thinking like is Jeremy going to tell more about like is he is he's gonna get really into being divorced now and stuff like that. I don't think he cries. But one time he almost made me cry. not the point. The point is, I just did that ad in one take no edits. I only fumbled a word like one time. I am so happy with myself right now. I'm so sorry. Here we go. podcast Here comes. Tell me about the diagnosis a little bit.

Jeremy 24:26
At that time. claim. My ex wife lived in Helena about 80 miles away from where we live in Great Falls. We Great Falls. It's it's me thaman my son and her parents. And she lives in hell 80 miles away. And he stays up here in Great Falls to go to school. That's where all his friends are. That's where he started everything and then she sees On the weekend, or whenever she comes, she'll either come down to Great Falls and standard parents or thaman will go up to her. My, my. I don't want to call her my ex mother in law because she's so much more than that. To me, she's really is my secondary mother and her parents very much are still my family gotcha. She had noticed that he was urinating more than usual. I'd kind of noticed that, but he's growling, whatever. And then finally, the school teacher called and said, You know, I don't know what's going on. But Damon went to the bathroom 15 times today. And Kathy is sorry, is Damon's grandma had told me Hey, look, you know, he's been going to bathroom law, just pay attention. So the teacher actually allowed him to do it. And then that night, I was like, Okay, so this, yeah, he had gotten up four or five times. And then all of a sudden, he started wetting the bed. I'm like, What the hell is going on? You know, he's, he's nine years old, this shouldn't be happening. And then all of a sudden, it was he peed the bed four times that night. And I'm like, Kay, there's something going on here. So I had called Kathy, my ex mother in law. And she said, You know, this can be quite a different couple things. It's probably just urinary tract infection. But I had this one kid at school, where it was something else. I don't want to mention what it is just you make an appointment. So I made an appointment. And I had called, said, Hey, this is what's going on. Can I get an appointment sometime this week? And she's like, Well, yeah, so they scheduled it three or four days later. And within 30 minutes, our pediatrician called me back and she said, we're not waiting till Wednesday. I need you down here. Now. I'm like, Okay, is there something wrong? She goes, there could be Don't worry about it. Just get down here. Now. Let them know what the front desk who you are. Just get down here. Yeah. We got down there. It was just me and Damon at this point. And I did that the nurse was at the door with the door open waiting for us. They pretty much had this nailed down from the very beginning. And, I mean, the nurse grabbed ahold of Damon's arm, started walking fast. I'm like, Whoa, chill out. He just peeing a lot, man. And she's like, Well, good, because he's peeing all the time. He can pee in this cup. And she peed in the cup. And they put us in a room and I have 45 seconds later, the pediatrician was in there with the with the big old glucometer on one of those vampire pokers and got him bleeding stuck him. It was like 532. And I'm like, okay, that seems high. That seems like a good score.

Scott Benner 28:15
500 that's a hard number to get.

Jeremy 28:17
And I'll be honest with the I remember that point because her name's crystal. She's an amazing, amazing doctor. She just immediately broke down and started crying. I still remember that. Like it was yesterday. And I said, Is everything okay? And she's like, well, I'll be honest with you.

It looks like your wife's about to change.

Unknown Speaker 28:44
For

Jeremy 28:47
I need to get some blood to verify it, but she goes, you know, just be prepared if you need to call anybody to come down to the hospital with you and everything. You know, this could be type one diabetes, and it's a it's a fairly large change in your life and you're gonna need support. Like, okay, well, you know, my grandma had type type two, I got this this. And I remember seeing grandma every bit every night just taking a shot. I bet it'll be fine. Right? So, you know, we we got the blood test. And it was taken a while to come back. And she said, You know, I want you to go home. And, you know, I'll call you get your stuff together, though. You're probably gonna have to go into the ER. And so we went over to grandma and grandpa's, because grandma grandpa's was a lot closer to the hospital and where I currently live. And I sat there and I talked to Rick, my ex father in law once again, so much more than just to ex father in law. And I told him right before we left the doctor a call back and she goes yeah, you're gonna have to get down to the ER And I talked to my son now I'm probably not going to be able to do this by myself if this is something crazy. Just stay on standby. We got down to the ER, they they smelled his breath. They did all this other stuff. They took blood and they're like, oh, yep, this type one diabetes and I. And I kind of just sat there for a second. I didn't know what any of it meant. Of course, they're not explaining anything but he's not in DK at this point isn't like, we're, you know, rustling and bustling. And yeah, like, everything was going off. And I. And I just I remember picking up the phone and talking or calling his grandpa and I was like, Look, you need to get down here. I might need a second set of ears on this. I'm kind of deer in the headlight right now. And he came down and he was there for the next at least 18 to 20 hours with me?

Scott Benner 31:01
How do you handle that with your, your ex wife being so far away with you? Do you tell her in that moment? Or do you tell her at the end? Or when do you contact her?

Unknown Speaker 31:11
So, um,

Jeremy 31:13
the way we've always done medical stuff is it's 5050 decision. And which, you know, that's just a legal term to keep people happy in my opinion. And it's just something on a piece of paper, you know? And I and I called her and I said, Hey, you know, I kind of kept her abreast but I've always known you know, you don't give her the full shebang right away. Just let her kind of know the basics of Hey, I'll keep you informed if it's anything crazy. Oh, give me a call. And I remember calling her and I and I told her I said, Look, we're down at the ER. They're saying his blood sugar's high. At this point, they're they're saying something about type one diabetes? I don't know much about it. Don't worry, I'll keep you keep going. I go, I just need from you it. I mean, if Can I need to know that I have your permission to do whatever needs to be done. Hmm. And she's like, Well, isn't that serious? And I said, it's, it's starting to look that way. Yes. And she's like, well, is he gonna die? And I'm like, No, he's not gonna die. He they said, He's fine. He'll live he'll, you know, be fine. And everything, it just, I need your permission that, you know, if they say they need this, you know, an IV, if they need this, give that and she's like, No, just do whatever you need to do. She goes, you know, just let me know what's going on. And, but with everything else, just like nowadays, it's like he needs a flu shot. Yeah, yeah, get it, whatever. You know, we felt each other out to know kind of where liberties are. Because primarily, I'm the one taking them to the doctor's, I'm the one getting ready for school. I'm the one that's, you know, she lives 80 miles away. And so at this point, she just trust me to do whatever just, you know, tell her afterwards, and she's fine. But what type one it was, it was a little different. I mean, there was a lot of asking a lot of

explaining a lot of

Scott Benner 33:28
so give me a second here, because that's interesting, because you're the one who understands what's happening as best as possible, because you're there, but you still need to get someone's okay. But I'm assuming you don't have you can't walk her through it every step of the way to make sure she understands, because you don't have that kind of time on this end. And, and so does it does, in your opinion, does somebody have to just give over and say, Alright, look, you know more about this than I do. So I'm gonna defer to you, or is it about educating the other person? And how do you, I guess, what did you end up doing?

Jeremy 34:06
So, from that point, um, I finally told her, you know, we got our own room, go ahead and come up. He's perfectly fine. He's not gonna die. But there is a lot of information, we're not going to be allowed to leave the hospital until all the caretakers are up there, get educated and we pass the test. That's just how they do it up here. And she's like, okay, so she came down and there was this moment whenever she had called me whenever she was outside, because the pediatric floor up here is locked. You have to be let in. So crazy people can't come in and steal your kit. Or the kids can't wander off, right? And I remember meeting her at the door. And I remember she wanted to go into the room and I said no, we'll just come over here with with you For a second, and this is really where it all for us. This is where it all broke down. Okay, well not broke down in a bad way. I pulled her into the room right next door and I said, Look everything in the past, everything that we've been fighting about for the last two years, three years, whatever it was that point, all of the bolts that we've been doing all of the arguing all the fighting all the lying all the everything else. It ends now, okay, I go, what you're about to walk into is going to change your life, our life, our family's life, forever. I go, things are completely different now. So at this point, I need your word, that everything from the past, it's done, it's clean slate.

There can't be a divide anymore. Yeah.

And she, she kind of, I remember, I remember this, like it was yesterday, she just, she kind of looked at me. And she's like, Is it really going to change her life that much. And I said, every day, it's going to be something different. And if we don't work for a team, as a team, there's going to be more payment, payments, health is going to be at risk if we do not work as a team. Yeah. And I remember she just kind of it she, she let out this little. Like she, like, let out all the air in her lungs. And she's like, Okay, let's do this. And it was off to the races at that point.

Scott Benner 36:46
I have to stop for a second, I'm imagining that when you said that to her, she thought, Wow, this is so bad. You and I are gonna be nice to each other. You know, I'm

Jeremy 36:56
sure. And you have to kind of remember, at that point, you know, it was it was weird. We were still friends. But we were still whenever it came down to the same in level, we were very, very against each other. You know, this is my day, this is my day, you know, you get in between this time and this time? And can I ask you that this?

Scott Benner 37:19
Like, from your perspective? Why does that happen? Like, what what? What is it a fear that, that he's gonna like one of you better or that like, what feeds that in?

Jeremy 37:29
Okay. So and

I have an interesting way of looking at that, um, for one, and I'm not talking about like, my ex wife at this point, I'm just talking in general, I honestly think it's a power trip. I think that it's because I remember this, I remember getting in into this exact fight was cleaner. I said something to the point of our son or my son, and we're, she's like, No, he's not your son. He is my son. And I remember fighting with her about No, it no matter how many times you spend this, he is our son. We created him, whether you like it or not, we are going to be, you know, dealing with this until he's 18. Right. You know, and so I think a lot of it is is a power struggle, you know, you did me wrong, so I'm going to lock down and be you know, this is my kid. It is a lot of it. A lot of people do have something to worry about. There are those those relationships where, you know, either either one of them are abusive, and it would be stupid to let them you know, take full control. Yeah, or, you know, there are those situations, but for the most part, I think it's a bunch of peacocking. It's, you know, they're everybody, they're still in that stage of being pissed off about the divorce, they're still in that human stage, I guess, kid, whatever, whatever it is, and they get stuck in this thing. And they they're like, the kids are perfect ammo for my destruction of this other person

Scott Benner 39:18
is the one thing that I still know you care about. And that you'll be upset about if it goes the way you want it to go.

Jeremy 39:27
Now, I understand that not all cases are like that. I mean, there's some families it's like, I bet I read online. It's just like, I wouldn't get into I wouldn't give the kid to him either. Yeah, yeah.

Scott Benner 39:38
Yeah. your specific situation, your two very decent loving parents who either of them could, you know, either of you sounds like could have your child full time and it wouldn't be detrimental to your child, but either are situations where there are people defending against more than just bickering. It's absolutely absolutely right. Gotcha. Wow. Okay, so So you basically came from the perspective of Look, this is a health issue. And we can't, like nothing's more important than his health. So we're going to, we're going to put this all aside, did it work initially? Or were there bumps getting to that?

Jeremy 40:19
Oh, no, it was an immediate for us, it was immediate, there was a little bit of feeling out of, you know, that there had, there was a lot of trust, that had to be built in a short amount of time. Um, and for the first three months, when we were still, you know, doing the, the what the endo wanted, if you will, um, there was a little bit of a, of a power struggle, but it wasn't bad. I mean, it wasn't like we were arguing left, right and center.

Because at this point is primarily just

myself and his grandparents. claiming to have to go back to Helmand. She had been trained at the hospital, but it was still it was military boot camp, you know, there's no, here's your pens goodbye. Although I will admit, our hospital up here did amazing job, I mean, that I still met the pediatric nurse Jamie was amazing, I could bet that woman deserves a raise three fold over. But anyways, it wasn't until about three months in whenever I've always been that type of person that like I owned a lot of Honda Civics and I could still probably tell you what every single wire in that car does, okay? Know what the voltage is what it leads to, and everything else. And I kind of applied the same thing to diabetes. I instantly got online the night he was diagnosed, I remember sitting there until four in the morning, and we were putting a double room and given the corner room. And they knew there was a lot of families so that we needed a bigger room and whatnot. So I slept in the hospital with him. And every single night he was there. I remember sitting online, and I started researching. And then I found Facebook groups. And then I found out found other Facebook groups, and then I found parents of you know, parent type groups. I'm trying to be sensitive here to names of groups. And I buckled down and I started reading people's experiences and their knowledge. And then, of course, I went off the deep end and of course had to I wanted to know exactly what failed in my son. And you know, he and he and I trained my son that way the same way to us that kid would now for Sella beta cell, adult cell and a gamma cell is he can tell you what each one does. You know, and I, I deep dove and became obsessed with anything and everything, diabetes. And all of the crazy ways that his body works differently than our bodies and everything else. And I quickly learned that what grandma and grandpa knew and what mom do knew and what I knew there was a clear, you know, like, Okay, what the endo is telling us, yes, that will keep him alive. But I don't want to just keep him alive. I want to make sure that when he leaves 18 or whatever, and then I've told him I go Do you want to live with me until you're 30 I don't care. then ultimately, you know, whenever you turn 18 I want his Look, I want to be able to honestly tell him that if he goes out and keeps doing the things he's doing, he's gonna live a long and happy life.

Scott Benner 43:59
Yeah. And do you think he's getting how long he had type one now, I guess a couple years

Jeremy 44:06
is about two and a half years. Okay. And

Scott Benner 44:09
it's going really well for you that you really are. I mean, I watch you in the in the Facebook group and you're a resource for people you really have a handle on it, how are things going and how have you been able to communicate that back and forth with his mom and him and you you have a smooth system at this point.

Jeremy 44:30
It as smooth as it can be? It is very smooth. So I would want to say if you had to break it down, grandma and grandpa have him about 50% of the time. I have him about 40% of the time and cleaner has him about 10% of the time because she has weekends and whatnot here. So, um, you know, like, like I said the very beginning I'm a single dad, I and whenever I mean single, I mean single single. I don't Have someone else to watch my son whenever I go to work. So Grandma and Grandpa, haven't they I give them a couple nights a week because of all they do for for me. So it comes out to about 50 4010. And whenever I finally said, Okay, I'm taking control of all this. And, you know, I understand what's going on the way that I see diabetes in my head. I'm sure I could make an episode just about how visually it works in my head. Because it doesn't make sense to me, let alone anybody else, but it ends up working out. Okay. So, anyways, so the communication part at this point is kind of like your episode texting with diabetes, except it's instead of the school and instead of with your kid, it's literally with the kid, the mom and the grandparents. There's group chats, we use tide pool to enter in all of his carbs and his mealtimes and what he ate. So I can kind of look at things whenever he's over there and go, Okay, this rises from the food. It isn't just bazel or anything else, I can kind of look and see, okay, well, we'll had pasta tonight. That's kind of what this is. So we use tide pool where everybody can enter in information, and everybody can see everything that's being done. Real Time. Um, we use sugar mate to call us at night.

Scott Benner 46:43
If he gets low, or something like that happens, everybody gets that ring through phone call that sugar mate does.

Jeremy 46:48
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And and, you know, does it get annoying? Like, especially if he's at someone else's house? And he hear it? No, it doesn't. it the way we all see it, and we all discuss it and everything else is that it's back up? You know. And normally, we don't start getting a little antsy and start texting each other back and forth like crazy people. Unless he gets, you know, very low 60s or into the 50s. And typically at that point, it's at this point, it's just the text that Damon, have you Okay, dude?

Scott Benner 47:28
Yeah, someone's gonna do something about it. You just did it the anxiety of not knowing if they're maybe missing it? Yeah.

Jeremy 47:34
Because I'll be out for at first it was like anytime that that thing went off, and he was blown away at it was like, Oh, my God, what happened? Is it activity is food isn't this. And there is still a little bit of that on my side. Because, with, with me doing all the pump changes with me doing all of the generalized, this is the direction we're moving. It's one of those things I kind of need to know. And then it's turned into me just texting grandma and saying activity question mark. And she'll say, No. And I'm like, just sitting on his butt. And he's, she's like, yep. And so if I see that around two to two days in a row, typically I can go Okay, well, that's bazel just speed touched a sec, you know, just a little bit. Um, but that's kind of how we communicate at this point, at least me in the grandparents, we do have some phone calls that may last a little longer to try to figure out, you know, a little bit more, but for the most it's just very simple text. And then there's still times where things are just not right, like right now, right now. He's, he's just starting puberty. And although he's still like, 8590 95% range every day. There's the bazel still needs to be pushed down. You know, he's bazel just as like porn on you know, it's like your analogy with airplanes is your icon dump there, you know. And so anyways, we're going through that a little bit right now but like that, that's just we know that's what's going on. I'm, you know, add a little bit more, a little bit more, a little bit more every day. And the common thing you'll hear between me and the grandparents anyways, give me a couple days I'll fix it. Hmm. And they know at that point, you know, a, I know there's a problem b i have a plan to attack it and see just give me a couple days. With Mom, it's a little different. With mom, since she isn't around it quite as much. There's a lot more phone calls going on. And every time that you know, and she knows there's an open door and she calls sometimes it's she doesn't have to call call sometimes. She calls two or three times in a weekend. Yeah. And that's okay. Ultimately, I don't just tell her what to do and hang up the phone. It's typically I, I give her a quick, this is why it's happening. This is what to look for. And this is how we, this is what I would do.

Scott Benner 50:22
And that because yes, it works. And so

Jeremy 50:26
and why not typically, it's one of those things that you hear about that type of thing, once she gets it, we fix it, we move on. And that's really, you know, what we've had to do as a as a as a family. And you've probably seen me post it plenty of times in your group, you know, just fix it, and move on.

Scott Benner 50:47
Yeah. You know, there have been enough times where something's been fixed that then she says, Well, I figured this out now. And then that stops being a communication point, because she doesn't need it anymore. Like she's Oh, yeah, growing more slowly, because she's not around that as much but still figuring it out.

Jeremy 51:01
Yeah, yeah, exactly. And like I said, it is one of those things where I explain it to her once she gets it and we move on. There's there are some times that she'll text me and she goes, is this what we were talking about last week is the same thing happening here. And I, you know, ask a few questions. I'm like, Yeah, it is. So sometimes she wants backup just to acknowledge that, yes, this is what's going on. But for the most part, she's fairly independent at this point. There might be thing and she knows, then there are some times that if something's looking crazy, I will just call called Damon, I will take control, and I will tell him what he needs to do. He knows what's going on. If she needs to know at that point, then then he explains it to her. In a lot of bits, a lot of it's transitioning from me talking to the grandparents and me talking to cleaner to me talking to Feynman. And he, he may be 11 and everything, but there are some times I'll call him and say, Hey, dude, what do you think's going on right now? And he'll tell me? Well, it's obviously bazel. Dad, come on, you know. And so a lot of the communication now is between me and thaman. And everybody else just kind of follows that lead. Yeah. Now there is the point that yes, I do still have to tell Grandma and Grandpa, what what? You know, Damon and I are doing or?

Scott Benner 52:36
Yeah, they need to know, right? They can't they don't I don't want them to be surprised or not know, something's happened in him. Forget them. Yeah. Yeah. Back on it.

Jeremy 52:42
I mean, I can't tell them well, I'm increasing bazel. Because of this, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I mean, I can't sit there and go on for 30 minutes about it. Just, I need to let them know that I'm handling am adding a little more bazel. Here, I'm taken away a little bit here. Watch out at these times, hey, I've, you know, lowered the carb ratio down for breakfast or lunch. Just be kind of mindful of that timeframe.

And that's about it at this point, you know,

Scott Benner 53:09
yeah, well, it does become a situation where it is. So kind of 24 hours a day that you you don't there's not enough time to explain it, you'd need to different you'd have to pause your day to have an explanation day and diabetes doesn't work that way. So well.

Jeremy 53:22
Let's see. That's how that's how it was at the very beginning. I'll be honest with you there, I tried to explain everything to everybody. And the way I am, you know, like I was telling you earlier, I learned everything and everything. And I was trying to explain glycolysis to them at one point. And they're just looking at you know it and that's fine. They'll they'll get there on their own on that type of stuff. But I was trying to overload them with information to the point that it was like, why, why just shut up Jeremy. Just tell them you got it. Tell tell them hey, hormones,

Scott Benner 53:59
you know,

Jeremy 54:00
and and move on. And it we've evolved quite a bit because I although I'm like, socially awkward, I can tell when people are like looking at me going. Do your overexplaining way too much.

Scott Benner 54:16
Yeah. I listen, I it's not uncommon. I have you know, I find it sometimes it feels very important for me to people to understand all the facets of a scenario and it's not like they don't care and it doesn't matter. Yeah, it feels like it matters to me and you know it doesn't it you know, stuff like that causes problems sometimes because sometimes you're just talking and people are just like, what do you shut up? Like, just give up on them. Let's keep moving here, you know? Yep. So would you say that if I told you, Jeremy, I need you to put this into one sentence. The key or the key to your success right now. Is the anger part. You guys gave away? Yes, that was it. Right, like you just decided not to be angry with each other anymore.

Jeremy 55:04
Yeah, and

I know that's hard one sentence, but

it it's kind of like that saying, let go and let God.

I mean, I'm not I'm not religious or anything but you know, the whole concept of, you know, this is bigger than ourselves. And as parents, there's nothing more important than the child. And ultimately, you don't mean anything in this world without your kid. And if you don't get along, there's always going to be that risk of that kid not be in there.

Scott Benner 55:51
And what's the point of I think that probably when you hear people say they have these amazing divorces, I think those are people who both said, Wow, this was a mistake, we should not have gotten married. And everybody's everybody, you know, just suddenly backs up and goes, Oh, this is better like this. This that was a definite mistake. But I think a lot of divorce. Even. It's not always just on one side. But people are like, I don't really want to get divorced. I just don't see a way out of this. And it keeps repeating and repeating and repeating. You know, my life is going on, I'm not going to live forever. So I can't do this forever. We're not going towards anything. But I don't think that people get divorced thinking Yes, that's what I want. I think they think oh, that didn't work. But I wanted it to. Yeah, and it's a sadness that it doesn't work. And then, you know, there's that person still exist somewhere, and especially if you've been together for enough time? Oh, yeah. It's hard to think that there's a person that exists out into the world that you wish you were with, that you don't see. And, and I could take that away from divorce for a second say, you know, my brothers and I moved away from each other. And every day, I think, why do we not live closer to each other? You know, like, I wonder what my brother's doing right now. And, and the knowledge that I'll keep wondering that and keep wondering that and keep wondering that for years and decades. And then one day one of us is just gonna die. And yeah, like, that's, that's a really hard thing to think about. And I want to tell you something here, to hopefully make you feel good about sharing your experience. I'm, I'm a child of divorce, as well. And if you ask me what the most important thing in the world is, to me about my family, I don't want them to know what that feels like. Because I know, I know exactly what it feels like, I can see the looks on my little brother's faces. When it happened, I can hear my mom crying, I can see how angry My dad was, like, I, my goal in life is for my family to never understand what that is. And having that goal sometimes causes me to do do things that are actually detrimental to the goal. And I know that's really strange. But when you don't want something bad to happen, you know it. I explained it once that bad things don't just, you know, always happen because somebody puts them into into motion. Sometimes there's a bunch of different things that kind of intersect, and they're nobody's fault. You know, somebody dropped something or somebody and then it starts saying, oh, somebody says a curse word and that it's met with her, you know, but the next thing you know, you know how something like that starts in 10 minutes later, everybody's upset. And you think, wait, this is because the coaster fell on the floor? Like you don't mean like, how did we get to this? And when, when I see those things, cascading? It is right away, front and center, in my mind, stop this, like, stop this, that. And I really did just make up the idea of a coaster falling, but a coaster falling is not going to be why my kids know the pain that my brothers know, like unity, like like, and that's unreasonable. And I know that and I work at it, to not let it overwhelm me. But there are times where I feel like oh my God, this has to stop right now. We're all gonna end up in a bad place. And

Jeremy 59:09
it's a slow burn.

Scott Benner 59:11
Yeah. It's a slow burn terrible for anyone who doesn't know. You're lucky.

Jeremy 59:16
Yep. Yep.

Scott Benner 59:19
But for those of you who do know about it, and who write in all the time saying, Is there an episode about how to handle type one diabetes? With divorce? I think Jeremy just went over a bunch of things that are really valuable. support a third party even I think it's a big deal about your mother and father in law being involved. I heard group text messages everyone knowing when to be involved and when to be an onlooker. And the idea of you got to stop punishing each other, which is, you know, or yourself, by the way, which I think sometimes happens when you're when you have a person and you're you're just you're going at them all the time all the time all the time, there's got to be a part in the back of your head that thinks, and I genuinely don't want to make you upset because you've been so valuable here. But there's got to be a part of you that thinks like, how did I not figure this out soon enough to save my marriage? And that's, and so you're punishing yourself and punishing them? And vice versa? It's, it's really, yeah, ugly, you know,

Jeremy 1:00:21
and, you know,

I, I'll be 100% honest here with you. Um, I have honestly punished myself every single day. For the last seven years. It's gotten better over time. But there still isn't a day that goes by that I don't think I could have done something more. And ultimately, I think, in order for, at least, myself to move on, is I need to learn how to forgive myself. Because I've already forgiven her for all of her side of things, because there was things on her side to you. No, no, no, marriage is perfect. Understand. And that's the biggest thing really is. Everybody needs to learn how to forgive each other. Find the best way to move forward as a dysfunctional family unit, whatever that is, you know, a divorced family. And realize that it's just not about you. Because that's what caused all the fighting at the beginning and everything else of It's me, me, me, me, me. It's no longer us. So I have to focus on me. But yeah, there isn't a day that goes by that I still don't. In some way, just go you know, what? You're divorced dad. And what not, and I don't want to beat myself up. But you know that it is the constant, you know, failure point in my life, I guess. So all I can do at this point is to become a better dad. And I know this sounds weird, be a better ex husband. You know, um, and it's it's not me trying to get back with her. It's not you know, I had my dad, you know, who lives in Lincoln, Nebraska, who, you know, as far away from he told me, he goes, Jeremy, you're just being nice to her because because you want to get get her back. And I'm like, No, dad, that has nothing to do with it. I mean, it wasn't until he came up the next year for three weeks in the summer. And he saw how labor intensive type one was, and understood why. You know, I would go over to Kathy and Rick's for dinner, is he didn't understand like, like, we walked up to their house, and we just walked into their house. And he's like, Well, why aren't you knocking? I'm like, Dad, they're my family, just like you are, he thought. And

Scott Benner 1:02:55
he really thought that you were just gonna, like you were pretending to be the person that your wife was looking for when you were married, hoping that that would just break Exactly. Not understanding how important doing those things was to your son's health?

Jeremy 1:03:07
Well, yeah, because, you know, my mom and dad got divorced, too. And that was that was nasty, nasty, nasty divorce. And his idea of divorce was completely different than my idea of divorce and how I was handling my divorce versus how he handled his divorce. You know,

Scott Benner 1:03:30
yeah, no, see, he was just he was just seeing what happened to him and kind of projecting onto you. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Wow. Dude, that was, uh, I appreciate this. I really do. Like you were me at one point at the end,

Jeremy 1:03:42
dude, I come on every hour. Yeah.

Scott Benner 1:03:44
Well, first of all, that you said, I'm gonna be honest. And I thought, what you were being honest, man, you don't have to be any more honest than that. But that was the other part is like you didn't really need me, which is great. Sometimes I like that you can just you just came on and you can tell your story. And you knew you had it laid out. And I appreciate you being so verbal. And

Jeremy 1:04:02
well, and Scott, I'll be honest with you there there. There's so much left on the table. Like I said, I could talk for three hours. I know that's not a thing. But yeah. Well, they're there

Scott Benner 1:04:12
highlight a couple things for me, though. But I mean, what else do you think people need to know

Jeremy 1:04:17
99% of its communication. And it's not about you, it's about the kid. I mean, those that's really where it focuses around. And

at first, it's going to seem like herding cats.

You just have to figure out how each cat needs to be wrangled in, how how each cat likes to be stroked, and where not to touch certain cats.

Scott Benner 1:04:42
So when you're all in when you're on the same team, you know, family team, then there's a feeling from each person like when it's a connected family still like everybody's married all in the same house. There's a feeling of like, well, I don't agree with that, but I'll go along with it. But as soon as everybody kind of backs Way, everyone has their own style. And you're not going to get a meshing the same way. You're saying like, you have to understand there's this, this person's not going to react to that. So we don't do that with this person we do. Yes said, Ah, okay, because

Jeremy 1:05:14
grandma has it has one understanding of diabetes and the way that she cares for diabetes, grandpa has a different view. And mom has a different view. And I have to try to wrangle the whole group and try to get one cohesive line of treatment. And that's been the biggest challenge really, is to try to, you know, you read all these posts all the time of, well, he's that his dad's again, he's been above 300 for the last two hours. And, and I, I didn't want that. So I had to find out how to get

a lot of your

teachings, I guess if you want to call them those sounds

Scott Benner 1:05:59
alright. High minded when you say it like that. And

Jeremy 1:06:01
I know I have a blow that head up. I wanted

Scott Benner 1:06:04
to, I wanted to put on a burlap robe and shave my head bald when you said that, then go sit.

Jeremy 1:06:09
And I'll be honest with you.

Grandma was like, because I send her over episodes to listen to, like if something was going on, I would send her the fat and protein. You know, I don't do that every time. But you know, so she would understand that she's like, he has a lot of good points. But boys he cocky. He says he's so full of himself. But he has really good information. And I know you've heard that before. I've heard you say it before. Sure. And but that's the generation gap, because and that's the other big thing is we all know that. Type One is a family led disease. You know, the endo gives you your boot camp instructions to keep the kid live. Everything else is up to you. I mean, unless you have a really, really, really good endo. So grandma and grandpa are from the the generation where you went to the doctor, you listen to the doctor, and you didn't dare question the doctors authority, because they know and, you know, they're from that older generation. And where, you know, with me, in my generation, it's like, okay, the doctor said this, but how about a second, third and fourth and fifth opinion, and let's get as much information as we can. And let's move forward. You know, and so it's trying to find, or crowl, three different four different ways of thinking and getting one plan together to still have excellent glycemic control and be able to, you know, move forward.

Scott Benner 1:07:47
Yeah. No, I hear you. I'm Well, listen, man, congratulations. I think it I'll tell you, what really strikes me is that you were willing to say this and have it recorded, which means that the people you were speaking about, you very much believe we'll agree with what you said. And yeah, and that's a big deal, like, in my mind is that you didn't just set up some sort of, you know, it's not a paper tiger, right? Like, it's not like it works. But everybody's just teetering on the edge and about to explode. Like you, you guys actually are all comfortable with your piece of this. And, and it's okay that there's a person who has more of the knowledge about diabetes than the others and they're willing to, everyone's willing to work off of that. I think it's really wonderful. And, and by the way, I have a message to Grandma, I'm here in case she ever hears this. I'm trying grandma to get a bunch of information to people's heads. And I have to project a certain amount of confidence where I am confident, and I don't want to meander in the conversation. Because if I spend a lot of time being, but I am assuming she would take us polite and, and not forceful than the conversations get too long. And then nobody listens. And you lose the thread of the ideas. So there's a there's a method to this madness. I think if she sat with me, she'd feel like I wasn't like that. But you know, I'm sure No, I'm just kidding. I don't care what she says. I just listen, I'm from the east coast and you're in Montana. Yes, sir. I would assume she just like I probably talked too quickly and I just I come I probably come off terribly tired. I'm sorry. Tell her I'm sorry. But I'm glad everything's going happy the kids Okay,

Jeremy 1:09:33
that's all no I mean, she's she's she loves your podcast. It's just well that's

Scott Benner 1:09:36
still well tell her please tell I was you know, obviously being light hearted there. But then again, I don't know if it's obvious or not if she'll be like Carrie is doing it again. But I was just being light hearted but I appreciate that. It's helpful to you guys. I really do. And, and please, my best to everybody. And I really appreciate you doing this. Like I said there were not a lot of people willing to come on and talk about this stuff. So he did a really cool thing here today. I tried. Oh, you really did. Thank you so much and got my best your cat cat. But this isn't what is.

Jeremy 1:10:13
The cat is literally named kitty because that's what Damon wanted to name it.

Scott Benner 1:10:17
Well listen,

Jeremy 1:10:18
I'm like, dude, we can name it George man could

Unknown Speaker 1:10:21
name it. So

Jeremy 1:10:22
he tried to name at once. He was like, well, maybe we can do Bolus and bazel because there's two cats,

Scott Benner 1:10:29
okay.

Jeremy 1:10:30
And I'm like, I'm like, well, which one's Bolus and which one's Basal? That's about as far as that got. So it turned back into kitty one and kitty to

Scott Benner 1:10:38
say that, by the way, that's only something that would happen in a single Father's house. So that is a try.

Jeremy 1:10:43
Absolutely.

Scott Benner 1:10:45
There's not one woman listening to this right now that's thinking I would allow my cats to be called kitty one and kitty. Oh my gosh. All right, Jeremy, thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Hey, I really appreciate Jeremy stepping up when a lot of other people couldn't actually got a couple of notes from people like I would love to do this but I can't. So Jeremy, your aces man, you're a great dad sounds like you're a great co parent. And there are a lot of people out there who are divorced a co parenting are probably pretty jealous of of what you guys have going on. Also a big thank you to Omni pod, check out the Omni pod tubeless insulin pump today at my Omni pod.com forward slash juice box get them to send you a free no obligation demo by typing in a tiny bit of information at that link, it might literally take you less than two minutes to get that demo coming to your house, my Omni pod.com forward slash juice box. Find out more of course about the Dexcom g six continuous glucose monitor@dexcom.com forward slash juice box and the T one D exchange beyond being beyond doing great work is completely HIPAA compliant. One bazillion percent safe for you to do I did it myself put my my information right in there as the parent of a child with type one. That's what they're looking for people with type one diabetes, or parents of people with type one who live in the US. And this is completely blinded, meaning your answers are not in any way connected with your information. You know what I mean? Like it's that doesn't say like Scott said this, it's just parent of type one answered this way that kind of you know, it's it's anonymous is what I probably should have said, anyway, you take this survey, which did not ask any deep probing questions, as far as I was concerned, took me about seven minutes, and I was done. They're gonna follow up once a year with a couple of other questions. If there are other opportunities to do things, I have the option to do them, but I don't have to. And the best part is, you can do this from your living room right there on your phone or on your PC. That simple. And if at some point in the future, decide you just don't want to be involved anymore, you can drop out, no big deal. T one d exchange.org. forward slash juicebox support Diabetes Research and support the podcast at the same time. All of these links, of course are available at Juicebox podcast.com. You can also find it Juicebox podcast.com. The best doctors that listeners to the podcast have suggested for you. That's at juicebox Doc's dot com. And all the diabetes pro tip episodes are available at diabetes pro tip.com case you want to share them with people or something like that. Otherwise, everything like I said, is it Juicebox Podcast. And of course you can listen to everything that I've ever done right here. Hundred percent for free, always for free. Thanks so much for listening, check out the other afterdark episodes or diabetes pro tip episodes or just the regular episodes of the podcast at your leisure. And of course, please subscribe in your podcast app, tell a friend about the show and leave a wonderful review on Apple podcasts or wherever you listen this five star reviews really help other people to check out the show. It actually happens. Trust me, it's not for ego if I didn't have any reviews. I still know how many people are listening. It doesn't matter to me. What matters is that the next person coming along says Oh look, people find this podcast valuable and then maybe they'll learn some things like you did, or it'll help them or they'll be entertained or not feel alone or whatever. But somehow they need to know this is the show I should try. So help me there if you can have a great week. I'll talk to you soon.